That's What I'm Here For
by Yanagi-sen
Weiss Kreuz fanfic
Usual disclaimers apply.
Not mine, don't own 'em. This
started out as a songfic to That's What I'm Here For by Jim Brickman, but it
didn't work that way. So now it's just
inspired by the song. I'll put the
lyrics that prompted this fic up at the end so you can read them if you
want. This will also make more sense if
you've read my fic 'Torn', featuring Schu and that bastard Nikolai.
Warnings: angst, maybe some sap
/character thoughts/
'mental speech'
It was
terror. Sheer unadulterated terror,
that stabbed thought his mind, shattering his dreams. Schu sat up in bed, massaging his temples. The source had to be close by, from someone
he knew well, to be this powerful, probably a fellow member of
Schwarz. Wincing slightly and lowering
the shields that had come up automatically upon waking, he scanned the
condo. It was a nice place, as
safehouses went, spacious… for Japan.
But they had enough room that the four of them weren't walking all over
each other. There were definite
advantages in working for Esset.
He winced
again and closed his shields. But that
glimpse had been enough. With a groan,
he heaved himself out of bed and reached for the pair of sweats he'd left on
the chair. If it had been Farf or
Braddy, he wouldn't have bothered. But
no. It had to be Nagi. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he padded
silently down the hall. Crawfish's door
was closed; of course, he wouldn't bother to rise in the dead of the night for
anyone but himself. Farf's was open,
but as Schu passed he could see that the pale Irishman wasn't there. Probably watching axe-murderers hacking up
screaming girls again. Him and his
horror flicks.
Schu paused
a moment outside the last bedroom. Nagi
had of course chosen the room farthest away from everyone else. He was isolating himself again. Schu made a mental note to work on the boy
some more. He tried the knob, locked as
always. Luckily that wasn't a
problem. He felt for the wire he'd
hidden over the door. A half-minute
later and the door swung open.
Moonlight
filled the room, spilling over the bed and the boy who lay there. The kid whimpered quietly and thrashed,
sheets and blankets twisted about him.
Schu entered and stared down at the small form. Nagi was beautiful, even with the signs of
distress crossing his face. The German
made another mental note to get the kid outside more often, he had no color to
him. He hated to have to wake Nagi, he
got little enough sleep as it was, but this was anything but restful. He shook the boy's shoulder gently. The young telekinetic came awake with a
cry. Only Schu's incredible speed saved
him from catching the kid's fist with his face.
"Nagi!"
"Schu?" The boy's slender body heaved as he buried
is face in the blankets, trying to stifle his tears. The man sank to sit on the bed.
Nagi practically crawled into his lap, clutching the redhead around the
waist, he was shaking. Schu sighed as
rubbed the boy's back. There was no
point trying to talk to him till he calmed down. It was a warm night and the kid was only wearing a pair of
boxers. Schu frowned; the boy was still
way too thin. Scheisse. Nagi had been with them for four years and
he was still underweight. Looked like
he would have to start watching to make sure the kid ate again. When he got busy or upset, he had a tendency
to skip too many meals.
He rubbed
the thin shoulders, trying to ease the knotted muscles. The boy's skin was so pale as to be nearly
translucent in the moonlight; it was so soft and smooth under his rough
hands. The sable hair contrasted
sharply with the pale skin, emphasizing the child's fragile beauty. Due to Nagi's proximity, and the fact he was
draped over his lap, Schu found himself trying desperately to think unsexy thoughts. It had been entirely too long since he'd
been laid if he was this attracted to the kid.
The boy was just too damn beautiful for his own good. It was fortunate Crawfish had found the boy
when he did, by now Nagi would have been someone's broken toy. If you weren't a predator, you were prey,
and in spite of his powers, this quiet child was defiantly not a predator.
Schu tried to maintain a little
distance, but to no avail. Nagi was
clung to him like a leech. The redhead
hoped the kid was too upset to notice the effect he was having on the
German. The boy didn't need the
embarrassment right now. Schu knew he
should have been disgusted with himself, wanting to sleep with a 13 year old,
but he wasn't. So he was a slut, he
admitted it, and he didn't care. Nagi
was too pretty to ignore. But now was not
the time or place.
'Prodigy?…
Nagi-chan… can you talk to me? Please…
bishounen?'
' ? '
'What's
wrong?'
'…'
'Nightmare?'
He felt the
bony shoulder poke him in the ribs as the boy shrugged. Schu ruffled the dark hair fondly.
'What
was it about?… Come on… you can tell me…'
The
boy hesitated then let Schu see. The
German was unprepared for the torrent of emotions that surged from the kid.
'
(shame) (pain) (fear)
HELP! STOP! WHY WON'T HE STOP?! HURTS! FARF?! SCHU?! (cry) (fear) (pain)
IT HURTS… it hurts…'
As
sudden as it started, Nagi cut off the flow of thought and feeling. He just lay in Schu's arms, limp and spent.
"Nikolai…" Schu barely breathed the name into the
night, but Nagi's reaction was immediate.
He curled even tighter and lay there, shaking. The German pulled him up, sliding back on the bed to lean against
the headboard. He cradled the
traumatized boy in his lap as one would a little child. Nagi was trembling, hands clenched, trying
to hold in the tears that threatened to burst from him. Schu noticed he was biting his lip so hard
he'd drawn blood. /This isn't good… at
this rate he'll lose it completely. /
'Cry,
Prodigy… you have to let this out…'
Silent
tears started to trace their way down Nagi's fair face. Schu rocked the still silent boy. He wondered at everything that had been done
to the kid that he could barely even cry.
The telepath counted himself lucky if he could coax a ghost of a smile
from the teen. He was always so cool,
so in control; that when he finally snapped… it wasn't pretty. It was downright scary, and it took a lot to
scare the telepath. Schu had only seen
him totally lose it twice. Once when
Farf had come home an absolute mess and Crawfish refused to take him to a
hospital, and just after that whole fiasco with Nikolai. He cursed the bastard again. That damn Russian's actions had most likely
scarred the child for life. He wished
he had lingered in killing the man.
After a
while, during which Schu entertained ideas on what he wished he'd done to
Nikolai, he noticed Nagi was limp in his arms.
The boy was breathing evenly, his face calm; drying tear trails the only
sign of his previous distress. He sat
for a long time, watching the boy sleep.
The way the moonlight shot silver through his dark hair. How his breath moved softly though his
slightly parted lips. How his delicate,
almost fragile frame curled so contentedly in his lap. Schu felt his own eyes growing heavy.
With care,
he laid the boy back down to the bed and drew the sheet up over him. Nagi curled up slightly around his
pillow. Schu smiled and lightly kissed
his temple. "Sleep well, kitten." He whispered and turned to leave. He pulled the door shut behind him and
stopped in surprise to see Farf standing in the hall.
"The
changling was upset?" Schu nodded. "Ye are very… kind to him."
The German
shrugged again and headed for his room.
"That's what I'm here for."
-sin sin, tis done-
Here are the lyrics that I loved, but didn't quite work IN
the fic:
"That's What I'm Here For" by Jim Brickman
Dry your eyes, I'm here now.
We'll get through this somehow.
Sometimes this world, it cuts like a knife.
Baby, baby, that's life.
All of your heartaches, all of your fears.
I'll make them disappear.
Chorus: And that's
what I'm here for, baby.
That's what a vow can do.
You won't shed a tear for the rest of your life.
I'll make it clear, that's what I'm here for.
There is a second verse, but the first is the one I liked.
This was much better before my hard drive ate it. I don't remember all the editing I did from
the rough draft. Oh well, I think this
is the last one I have to retype. Aoe
is gonna kill me for working on this and not the next Schu/Youji fic, but I
should still have that one done soon. I
just love the mental image of Schu and Nagi-kins curled up on Nagi's bed,
kawaii. I have a rough sketch taking up
the rest of the page in my notebook.
Maybe I should turn it into a real drawing one of these days…
