Author Notes: Well god only knows where I came up with this story. I wrote it a while ago…. I don't even remember writing it. Its not my normal kind of work…. Considering it's a Phoebe Cole Story. Well I don't own charmed or the song. The song is by Nsync "This I Promise You".
These Broken Promises
By LeoAngel
When the visions around you
"There was nothing you
could have done." The voice screamed in her head. She wanted to believe it. More
than anything but she knew there was always something you "could" have done.
Perhaps stayed just one minute longer with them that morning. Laughed with them
at the breakfast table. Instead of running out to class like that thinking there
was a tomorrow. If only she where hungry. Why hadn't a premonition warned her
sooner? She had gotten it to late they surely where gone by the time it reached
her. Maybe it was "there" way of punishing her. Giving her the hope she could
save them but squashing it as easily as it was given. Why hadn't she said she
loved them when she left? She did every morning was fate this cruel? To let them
leave her without a goodbye with out even an I love you. Promises are always
broken. Piper had promised her they would spend a sister day on Friday. She
couldn't believe the anger thoughts running threw her head. There would be no
sister day but could she really blame that on Piper. No it was her own fault her
own fault for not saying I love you. For taking them for granted. Fate was
cruel.
Bring tears to your eyes
Tears stung Phoebe's eyes it
wasn't far. She was a good person. She had done the best she could protecting
the innocent. Giving so many sacrifices. Her mother her father everything had
been lost to magic. And now even her sisters. She pushed the thought out of her
head. It being too unbearable to even think about. How could she live each day
without her sisters by her side? She hadn't realized how much she depended on
them. Another part of her ungrateful attitude towards them. How could she have
been so stupid to think they would always be there? So why did they choose to
punish her and punish her? Maybe it was for the miss-behaved child she had once
been. She didn't know but the pain just was too much. All she could do now was
hold their soulless bodies.
And all that surrounds you
Phoebe
walked threw the manor memories flashing threw her head. They where painful all
of them. And she was ashamed that she wanted them to leave her. That she didn't
want to remember her sisters. Because once you lose something so precious as
them you can't live without them. She closed her eyes remembering a time when
things had not been much better. But at least they had been alive.
Are
secrets and lies
"PHOEBE GET OUT!" Prue screamed tears flooding her eyes.
Phoebe looked at her in surprised. She had never seen her sister cry like this.
At least not willingly like this. Late at night when she was a teenager she did
remember hearing sobs coming from her room. But she had been quick to deny it
and send her away. Prue had never cried with Phoebe. She had always brought her
problems to Piper. Phoebe was almost jealous of the bond Piper and Prue had. She
wished she could have just as strong one with her oldest sister. But they where
just to different. Herself with her carefree ways. Living each day as if it
where her last. Leaving behind her responsibilities. And Prue with her strict
hard ways. Working making a living for herself. Being in control and knowing
exactly what she would do each day every hour, never a spare moment. No they
would never click.
"HELLO PHOEBE ARE YOU HEARING ME? I WANT YOU OUT!" Prue
screamed louder bringing Phoebe out of her thoughts. Tears collided her own
eyes. She realized Prue meant it. She didn't want to put up with her baby sister
anymore. She quickly whipped them away. She wasn't going to allow Prue to see
how much she didn't want to go. The only way they perhaps where alike was there
stubbornness. Both would never give in.
"But Prue I didn't….." Phoebe
started trying to explain. Only for Piper's sake though. At least that's what
she told herself. She knew if she left her sister would be crushed.
"I DON'T
WANT TO HEAR IT GET OUT NOW!" Prue replied even louder. Phoebe couldn't take it.
She wouldn't, no couldn't live with her anymore. She stormed out of the house
without even getting her stuff.
I'll be your strength
Phoebe came
back to the present moment. Almost wishing she could go back to that time and
place. Maybe to even warn herself not to leave. She had lost so much time with
both her sisters by leaving. And there anger for each other had only grown.
Maybe if she had stayed they would have made up sooner. They would have had more
time together. If she wasn't such a coward who ran away from everything. Phoebe
tried to whipped away her tears again as she had done that night. She tried to
think how Prue would be in her position. Dealing better than her that was for
sure. Prue had always been the strongest and Phoebe envied her.
"God what am
I going to do." Phoebe cried in despair leaning back against the wall. She had
no one, no one to give her strength.
I'll give you hope
There was
no one left to hold her up. No one left to give her the hope she needed to fill
each day. Phoebe got all her strength and pulled herself off the ground. Her
legs wobbled as she entered the kitchen. She stared at her reflection in horror.
"You don't deserve to live." She muttered thinking how many times her
sisters had kept her from harms way. And why hadn't she been able to do the same
thing. Why? She screamed in her mind. Well she would be there with them soon. If
her sisters weren't on earth than she had no reason to be either. A laugh
escaped her lips. She would beat this cursed fate.
Keeping your faith
when it's gone
Phoebe pulled out one of the kitchen doors silverware
clattering to the floor. She bent down on her knees trying to grabbed a knife.
Anything sharp. Her hands where shaking which made it hard to find one. But she
finally made her fingers grasped the sharpest knife they had. One of Piper's she
had used it to cook so many meals. Phoebe brought the knife close to her wrist.
She shivered as the knife hit her skin. More tears escaped her eyes. She had no
faith left… non-that she would be able to live.
The one you should call
She stared at the trickle of blood that ran down her arm. She hadn't
applied much force to the knife. Not yet she was holding back. Maybe wishing
that someone would come wake her up from this nightmare. Someone who would just
hold her and make things better. But there was no one left. No one to call when
in desperate need.
When standing here all alone
"I'm all alone!"
She screamed throwing the knife into the wall. She couldn't do it not when her
sisters had been so strong for her. It would be giving up yet again. What she
did best she knew. Some how some way she would get threw this.
And I
will take you in my arms
Cole shimmered into the living room manor. He
gasped in shock as he looked at the ground. Their Prue and Piper lay in a bloody
mess on the floor. He couldn't move fear overcoming him. How could this have
happened? He yelled trying to get his head clear. Fear seeped into him. Was this
the same fate Phoebe had met? Was this how it would end for the two. He would
never forgive himself if Phoebe had died like this. Cole bent down and checked
each of their pulses. Just to conform his thoughts. Indeed both girls where
dead. Tears glistened his eyes if Phoebe was alive this would ruin her. He knew
that for a fact.
And hold you right where you belong
He rushed
threw the house searching for his love. Almost to scared to want to find her. He
came to a halt in the kitchen. Silverware lay a mess. He took note to the knife
that had landed against the wall. He could see the red liquid plastered over it.
Had the knife been Phoebe's death giver. Cole pushed the thought out of his head
quickly running out of the kitchen she wasn't there. He rushed upstairs hoping
to god he would find her alive. He would do anything to only see her alive.
"Phoebe!" He yelled in hopes to catch her attention. But there was no
answer. He ran into Piper's room finding nothing. Nothing but a note from Piper
to Leo saying she was going out to eat with Prue. Where was their whitelighter
in this time of need Cole wondered? He could have healed them. Cole discarded
the thought knowing he couldn't ponder over it anymore. The more time he wasted
the worse chances Phoebe had. Cole rushed into Prue's room to again find
nothing.
"One more place." He whispered shimmering into the attic. He sighed
in relief to see Phoebe curled up in a ball with the book of shadows. He caught
sight of the blood still soaking out one of her wrist. "Oh god Pheeb's what have
you done."
This I promise you
This I promise you
"Phoebe."
Cole said rushing to her side. He wrapped his arms around her trying to comfort
her. She did little to even acknowledge his presence. Maybe this was worse than
death he thought. If she had gone with her sisters she wouldn't have to live and
heal. Apparently that's what she had been thinking two by the cut on her wrist.
"Oh god Phoebe please look at me." Cole pleaded urging her to at least glance at
him. All she was doing was staring at the triquetra sign on the book.
"Cole?" A questionable whisper was heard. Cole sighed at least she was
responding to him.
"I'm here baby I'm here I promise everything will be ok."
"You shouldn't promise anything. They are always broken."
I've loved
you forever
Cole Picked Phoebe up in his arms and brought her to her
room. He wrapped a towel around her wrist in an attempt to stop the blood. He
was glad it wasn't a deep cut. She hadn't had the guts to actually do it.
"There dead." She kept crying into his chest.
"I know baby. But they are
still with you even if you can't see them. They will always be in your heart. As
long as you live." He replied soothingly running his hands threw his hair.
"I want to be with them Cole! Please please let me be let me go to them."
Phoebe sobbed gripping his shirt tightly.
"I know you want to go with them.
But for some reason it isn't meant to be. There are people here who need you
Phoebe. You can't give up." Cole stated pulling her closer. He couldn't bare the
thought of losing her like that.
In lifetimes before
He cursed
himself inside for not being there for her when she needed him the most. Maybe
if he had stayed a little bit longer this all could have been avoided. Why
hadn't he seen it coming? It had all happened before. In a long ago past life.
He and Phoebe where together and her sister and cousin where taken away from her
like that. She had been ruined destroyed. If only he had thought of that life.
He shook the thought out of his head. He would surely drive himself mad if he
pondered over the what ifs. He had to stay strong for Phoebe. His love would get
her threw this…. He hoped.
And I promise you never
Will you hurt
anymore
Hours past and soon night fell. Not another word had been shared.
Cole did the best he could to comfort her. Holding her close reassuring her he
would be there for her. He swept away the hair that clung to her clammy face.
She was asleep that was a relief. He hoped at least she could escape this horror
in her dreams. Maybe even visit them in it. He could only plea that nightmares
wouldn't plague her. Which was highly likely with all the suffering she had gone
threw.
"I promise I'll love you forever." He whispered kissing her cheek.
Her lips formed a small smile as if she had heard him. It was the only smile he
would see for a while he knew that.
I give you my word
I give you my
heart
"Cole. Why did this happen?" Phoebe asked her voice hoarse from
crying. Cole jumped surprised she was awake.
"I don't know honey….. All
things happen for a reason. Even if we can't see the reason now." Cole answered
the best he could.
"Do you think its punishment…. For something I did
wrong?" Phoebe questioned her voice barely audible.
"NO sweetheart! Its not
punishment! You've don't nothing wrong. It was just there time." Cole replied
forcefully looking her in the eyes. "I know this is going to be a long hard road
but I will be by your side. I am going to be there every step of the way. And
you need to know you're not alone. You are never alone."
This is a
battle we've won
And with this vow
forever has now begun
Phoebe
went back to sleep. Nightmares haunted her sleep quickly awakening her. She
stared at Cole's sleeping form. She was glad he was getting some rest to. He had
been up half the night worrying about her. Pheeb's slipped out from Cole's
grasped carefully. She again wondered the manor. Finding herself infront of a
picture of her and her sisters. She smiled thinking of how happy they once had
been.
"I don't know if I can beat this battle….. I don't know if I can."
Just close your eyes each loving day
"If you ever want to see us
just close your eyes. We are always here." Phoebe heard a whisper. She closed
her eyes but saw nothing. "Why aren't you here?" She screamed tears stinging her
eyes.
And know this feeling won't go away
Till the day my life is
through
"Phoebe. Please you need rest." Cole stated taking her hands.
"I can't Cole I can't. Nightmares they haunt me. I can't take this! Why does
it hurt so much?"
"Because love hurts Phoebe. There's nothing we can do
about it. But love hurts so much some times. And if it didn't hurt like this
than you didn't truly love them. And I know you wouldn't want that. It will get
better….. But it's always going to hurt. Because you are never going to stop
loving them." Cole explained tears in his own eyes. He didn't know how to
protect her from this pain.
This I promise you
This I promise
you
"But the pain its so unbearable. How can you be sure that it will be
ok?" Phoebe asked falling to her knees. Cole quickly caught her before she could
hit the ground. "Listen Phoebe just have faith ok. I Promise you that you will
survive this."
"I don't think I can."
Over and over I thought
when I hear you call
without you in my life baby
I just wouldn't be
living at all
"Try Phoebe please try! I know you love your sisters. But
they would want you to live. And I want you to live. Because I love you more
than life itself. And without you I don't know what I'd do with myself." Cole
urged knowing she was giving up.
"Don't you see though? That is exactly how
I feel. I don't have a purpose without my sisters! I don't have anything."
Phoebe replied.
"Of course you have a purpose. It may not be seen right
now….. And you have me….. I'm just asking Phoebe try and fight… if not for your
sisters than me." Cole answered tears escaping his eyes.
And I will take
you in my arms
and hold you right where you belong
Until the day my life
is through
Phoebe whipped away the tear from his cheek. She wrapped her
arms around him bringing him closer.
"I love you." She whispered.
"I
love you to."
Every word I say is true
This I promise you
This I
promise you
"I will fight this feeling for you. I Promise…. And I promise
to make my sisters proud."
"Don't you see they already are?"
The End