With You, a weiss kreuz fanfic

With You

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz songfic

Usual disclaimers apply. Youji and his poor tortured mind don't belong to me. Neither does anyone else featured here. The song's by Linkin Park (do we see a theme with this arc?).

Warnings: angst ( ^_^ ), implied yaoi, language, maybe OOCness

'mental speech'

/character thoughts/

I woke up in a dream today To the cold of the static, and put my cold feet on the floor…

/He's gone. This in itself is nothing new, he's quite often gone by the time I wake up. He likes to stagger in really early to piss off Crawford. I can understand that, I would do the same thing to Aya, if he gave a crap. But he doesn't, so I get to sleep in. I get up and stretch… oh shit! I'm sore today. But damn was it worth it! He doesn't understand, why I like what he does. He's been hurt so much, he can't understand why someone doesn't mind or even likes the pain. But life is pain. I wouldn't say I love it, but it lets me know I'm still alive. I wonder at times… /

Forget all about yesterday…

/But for some reason this morning his absence disturbs me. I don't understand exactly what's going on in that head of his, but it's not good. I've never seen him like he was last night. It was obviously very painful and related to his telepathy. But he didn't want to talk about it, just fell asleep. He seemed exhausted. That's why I'm surprised he isn't still here. /

Remembering I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymore

A little taste of hypocracy…

/I get back just as the guys are finishing breakfast. Omi blushes slightly, no doubt imagining what I've been doing all night. If he only knew… Ken grins widely and Aya of course ignores my existence. Omi drops his dishes in the sink and with a cheery 'Ja ne', is off to school. Poor kid. I can tell Ken is dieing to ask but he waits until Aya leaves to help Momoe-san open the shop. /

"So?"

"Eh?"

/He rolls his brown eyes and rests his elbows on the table. I'm in for it now… /

"Details man! Was it a guy or a girl this time?"

And I'm left in the wake of the mistake, slow to react Even though you're close to me…

/I wonder where he is? He knows I have tonight off. He lifts my schedual from my mind every week. Course he could have a mission, but that just doesn't feel right.

No. He's here. I can't explain it, but I can always tell if he's around. Maybe it's cause he's been in my head so much lately. I'm looking around, but I can't find him. I know he knows I'm here. But why won't he come out?

There he is… /

You're still so distant, and I can't bring you back…

The redhead emerged form the knot of dancers. Jade eyes meet emerald. They were frozen for a moment, then Schuldich turned and walked away.

/What the Hell?! /

It's true, the way I feel

Was promised by your face…

/What the Hell was that? He just acted like… like he didn't even know me. What's wrong? Is he still upset about the last time? It's been nearly a week. I've never proclaimed to know what's going on in that German's head. But I thought I knew him a little.

There was just nothing on his face or in his eyes. It was just blank. That's so odd. He's passionate by nature, but this time there was nothing there. No anger, no lust, not even amusement. It was like looking at Aya.

I don't know what the Hell is going on… but I don't like it. /

The sound of your voice, painted on my memories

Even if you're not with me, I'm with you…

/It's cold in bed tonight. I mean it's not as if I have a bedmate every night, but when you're planning on one… It's freezing in Youji-world tonight. Sometime I wonder what exactly it is about Schu that attracts me to him? At first it was the thrill of course. 'Sleeping with the enemy' and all that jazz. But now… I wouldn't go so far as to say I love him, but I like his company. I like the sex. He's certainly fine to look at. I like the fact that I don't have to wear the masks around him. That he understands who I am and what I do. I don't have to worry that he'll get dragged into my work, cause he's already there.

I'm well aware of what might happen if my teammates found out. 'Shiine!', katana flash, and that's the end of Youji. Omi is so unfailingly dedicated that if proof was presented and he was ordered to, he would kill me. It would tear him up inside to do it, but he would. He's screwed up enough as it is, he doesn't need this too. Ken… who knows what Ken might do. He's a little slower than the rest us. Not that he's dumb or anything. Only that he takes his time to come to a decision. That's why he works better with someone to tell him what to do.

Ah Hell! It's late and I'm pondering how and if my friends would kill me if they found out about my lover. It's fucking Romeo and Juliet for crying out loud! /

You, now I see, keeping everything inside You, now I see, even when I close my eyes…

/Che! It would be him to break in looking for Aya-chan. It's always been very clear that what goes on in between us outside of work, doesn't carry over into missions. Something still seems off about him. I don't know, he's just, he's just not himself. Usually we'd be carrying on a side conversation by now, but there's only silence. It's like he's locked up inside or something. /

"We came to get Sleeping Beauty."

/He's as taunting as always. But… / "I thought a prince was supposed to rescue Sleeping Beauty, not a devil!"

/Che! I forget how fast he can be. He just blew by us and ripped the sheet from the bed. He knew Aya-chan wasn't there, what's he up to? /

Schu smirked. "Not bad."

"Tough luck."

/Ken, you don't have a clue, do you? / "End of the road." /Why won't he talk to me? And that smirk. /

"We're not driving with one speed either."

Ken flew back from Schu's fist.

'Schuldich!' /He's behind me, I spin but he's quicker, kicking out my legs and grabbing neck. / 'Schu?' /As I'm starting to gray out, he's suddenly gone. /

"Kisama!" /His foot shoves my head to the floor. This isn't like when he gets rough in the bedroom, I think he's actually trying to kill me this time. /

"Enough pretending. If you die now, you'll miss the show that's about to start."

/He let up? What the Hell? / "Show?"

"Look forward to it."

I hit you and you hit me back We fall to the floor, the rest of the day stands still…

/I just can't believe it. They were going to sacrifice Aya-chan? That's the only explanation for this little display. But… that's not Aya-chan, the hair's too light. Sakura-chan? Then where is Aya-chan…. and Schwarz?

Poor Sakura-chan, she's cold and I think embarrassed. Ken is so dense, why does he wear that orange 'thing' anyway? It takes a bit of looking but we find Schwarz. They don't see surprised to see us, big shock, with a precog and a telepath. /

"I'm taking back my imouto."

/Good old, Aya; or rather, Ran. Mr. Obvious! /

"Can't do that. We still need her for some business."

/Schu is as cold and annoying as he has ever been. But though he glares mockingly at the others, his eyes shy away form mine. / "In other words, we have to approach you by force?" /Now he looks at me, there is… is something… almost pained in his gaze. /

"That's what it means."

Fine line between this and that When things go wrong I pretend the past isn't real…

/It's dissolved into individual fights as it always does. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Aya, oops Ran, charge Crawford. Omi and Ken are facing off with the quiet kid, what's his name, Nagi? And the psycho that killed Ouka. /

'Guess that leaves you and me.'

'Guess so.'

/He's not trying. Oh, it looks like he's trying to beat the crap outta me. But he's not. Then again, I'm not really trying either. /

'What's going on Schu?'

'You wouldn't understand.'

'Try me.'

/I see Omi go flying through the air and start toward him. Schu just materializes in front of me. /

'Nein, it's just you and me, Yotan.'

'Omi…'

'Nagi won't kill him, not unless he has to. Farf has his orders.'

'Huh? What the fuck is going on?'

'We're trying to save the world.'

/Oh, that's just too funny. I think he's genuinely surprised when I get the wire around his neck. He struggles of course, everyone struggles when in that position. He's not used to submitting, at least, not to me. /

"We want no more people to lose their loved ones like we did!"

/Like it seems we are… /

The floor wobbles sickeningly. /I release the wire, I don't want to kill him. We push away form each other as the room collapses around us. /

'Yotan?'

'Schu?'

'See you in Hell.'

The blackness rushes up to claim us…

Now I'm trapped in this memory

And I'm left in the wake of the mistake, slow to react

Even though you're close to me

You're still so distant, and I can't bring you back…

"It's over."

"Aa." /I sound tired. We all do. I had to ditch my coat, it weighed me down in the water. And damn was that water cold. I can hear Omi's teeth chattering from way over here. /

"Let's go." Aya… Ran sounds, well, he sounds down right cheerful, for him. Must be cause Aya-chan's safe.

"But what about Schwarz?" Ken's the only one besides me still watching the water.

"It doesn't matter now."

"Demo…"

"Ken."

/There's 'something' in Aya, Ran's voice that I don't recognize. Apparently, Ken does; cause he turns to follow the redhead. I can't see anything but water. No movement… no Schwarz… /

"Youji-kun?"

/Omi's eyes are shadowed and he is shaking. He won't leave till I do. I sigh. / "Let's go, Omiitchi."

It's true the way I feel

Was promised by your face

The sound of your voice

Painted on my memories

Even if you're not with me, I'm with you…

/I can't bring myself to believe it's finally over. We have Aya-chan back safe, and awake. She's running the shop with Momoe-san and Sakura-chan. Manx and Birman are keeping an eye on them. We were given the option of disbanding, but we won't. Aya… Ran, and myself especially can't live any other way. Ken doesn't really have anything else, besides, I don't think he wants to leave Aya… Ran. Omi won't leave because we won't. That kid has a warped sense of loyalty. He's the only one with a chance at a 'normal' live. And he won't take it.

/We've heard nothing about Schwarz. Tomorrow Manx is bring us our new home. A mobile flower shop. Still florists… che! /

You, now I see, keeping everything inside You, now I see, even when I close my eyes…

/I don't know if I can get used to this, you not being in my head. I would think if you had survived you would have contacted me by now. We leave for Kyoto tomorrow, but I can't sleep. Ken's still up when I walk out into the 'living' area. /

"Where you going?"

"Can't sleep. I'm gonna go for a drive."

"Aa."

No, no matter how far we've come I can't wait to see tomorrow…

/The wind is whipping along the shore. The sea just looks black. I don't know what I expected. Everything looks the same. I guess… I had hoped… But you're not here. You won't be here, no matter how many times I come back… /

No matter how far we've come I can't wait to see tomorrow, with you…

/You probably wouldn't believe this… but you helped me. You only saw the pain and it tore you up, but it's what I needed. It's corny, but… you saved my soul. Arigatou. For everything. Sayonara, Schuldich… /

You, now I see, keeping everything inside

You, now I see, even when I close my eyes.

-sin sin, tis done-

I'm not sure if that one went the way I had intended or not… it kinda wrote itself. Poor Youji really has no clue what's going on, course you my readers don't either… (cackling from the demented fairy on the monitor) All will be made clear in the last part, as to when that will be out…