(Guess what this is edited! This fic is PG 13. Enjoy! Oh and DIGIMON isn't mine though I've put the creator's kids through collage buying stuff.)
Tai called Izzy's parents after Ken and Daisuke called theirs. Izzy was asleep by the time they dared to pick up the phone without fear of being electrocuted. He folded out the couch into a bed for the boys and carried Izzy in and tucked him in Kari's bed. He looked content.
Tai felt horrible. He hadn't been able to control the Kaizer and poor Izzy had almost been lost. Yet, something still beckoned him from the darkness and he felt the need to join it. Kaizer might be gone, but it had opened his senses to another level. He wanted to explore it, take it by storm. He knew he shouldn't entertain the thoughts but he couldn't keep them from coming and enticing him...
Song Title: Iris
Video Title: Battles Within
Artist: Goo Goo Dolls
Writer: Deedlit Magic
Album: City of Angels Soundtrack
Fan Fic: Digimon
Izzy sleeps on Kari's bunk bed and Tai looks down at him with tear filled eyes.
And I'd give up forever to touch you
Tai reaches out his hand but draws it back.
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
Izzy rolls over in his sleep and smiles softly.
You're the closest thing to heaven that I'll ever be
Scene changes to the sweet kiss in the computer room.
And I don't want to go home right now
Back in the bedroom Tai takes the Kaizer glasses from his cloak on the dresser and puts them on as he looks in the mirror.
And all I can taste is this moment
Izzy sits up abruptly, fear in his eyes and Tai pulls off the glasses, hiding them away.
And all I can breathe is your life
Tai goes to his side and hugs him.
Cause sooner or later it's over
He looks over Izzy's shoulder at the glasses.
I just don't want to miss you tonight
He slips them under the bed as he takes Izzy in a kiss.
And I don't want the world to see me
Izzy is asleep and he stands at the window. He rips the curtains closed.
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
He slides to the floor.
When everything's made to be broken
Kneeling he clutches his chest.
I just want you to know who I am
He looks over to Izzy's sleeping form with desolate eyes.
(plain music begins)
He shakes his head and climbs to his feet, walking back to the dresser and looks in the mirrors.
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
He holds his face in his hands.
Or the moment of truth in your lies
He touches the glasses and looks back at his reflection.
When everything seems like the movies
He runs his hands up the sides of his face.
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive
He sinks his nails into his cheeks and scratches down to his jaw looking at the mirror in hatred.
And I don't want the world to see me
He grabs the cape and pulls it around his shoulders.
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
He glances towards the open door
When everything's made to be broken
He turns back and punches the mirror, shattering it.
I just want you to know who I am
He picks up a picture of Izzy from the dresser and looks at it before tucking it away in his pants pocket.
(plain music begins)Izzy sits up in bed, clutching the covers to his chest looking alarmed. Tai looks over his shoulder and smiles at Izzy before picking up the glasses and putting them on. He walks towards the door. Izzy stumbles out of bed and across the floor. (Music changes) He falls forward but Tai catches him. He supports his arm as Izzy gains his footing. Izzy wraps his arms around Tai and shakes his head. He leans into his chest and Tai holds him quietly for a moment. Tai puts his hand on Izzy's cheek, forcing him to look up. He smiles tenderly, stroking his face and smearing it with his blood. He kisses him on the forehead and then pushes him away gently. (Music changes) Izzy sinks to the floor sobbing. He backs away slowly before turning his back on Izzy. Tai walks purposefully out of the room. He goes to the computer room, looking around. Flashbacks of fighting the virus on the net, side by side with Izzy. Izzy is drinking something horrible and he teases him. Then he is back as an adult. He walks to the keyboard and begins typing...
(Music changes to very quiet) He straitens up and goes to stand before the monitor...
And I don't want the world to see me
Ken and Daisuke come into the room, looking worried.
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
He turns and bows to them.
When everything's made to be broken
A bright light from the monitor blinds them. They throw their arms up to protect their eyes.
I just want you to know who I am
They slowly bring their arms down. They are left standing there together...Tai is gone. Ken takes Daisuke's hand.
I don't want the world to see me
Izzy stands in the doorway, hiding in the shadows. Tears still run down his face.
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
He angrily pushes between Ken and Daisuke
When everything's made to be broken
He picks up the monitor and pitches it through the window.
I just want you to know who I am
Flashback of Tai and Izzy playing as children.
I just want you to know who I am
Flashback of Tai meeting Daisuke
I just want you to know who I am
In the computer room Ken picks up something. He holds up the Kaizer glasses from the floor.
I just want you to know who I am
Tai stands alone in the fortress looking out across the landscape with a serious expression.
Izzy stayed in Tai's bedroom for several days until Tai's parents came home. They believed that Izzy and Tai had been subject to some terrible crime and they put Izzy in the hospital. Tai was listed as kidnapped. Doctors checked Izzy over and observed him for a couple of days before releasing him. He walked to Mimi's and Kari answered. He asked her to talk with him but she slammed the door...
Song Title: Hemmorage
Video Title: Tear Soaked Rain
Artist: Fuel
Writer: Deedlit Magic
Album: Something Like Human
Fan Fic: Digimon
Izzy stands on a bridge looking over the rail into the river. Rain is soaking him but he looks like he doesn't notice because he is buried deep in misery.
Memories are just where you need them...
He pulls out a picture of Tai.
Drag the waters, till the depths give up their dead
He looks over at a loan man fishing before letting the picture fall.
What did you expect to find?
He reaches into his pocket and brings out the Kaizer glasses
Was it something you left behind...
He glowers at the object.
Don't you remember anything I said when I said
He looks up into the rain and the view pans back.
Don't fall away, leave me to myself
Flashback of him clutching his shirt in Tai and Kari's room whispering.
To fall away, an leave love bleedin' in my hands,
Flashback of Izzy stands in the bathroom and looks into the mirror at the shell of a person he once was.
in my hands again
On the bridge he clutches the glasses tightly.
Leave love bleedin' in my hands,
His knuckles whiten and blood runs between his fingers.
in my hands, love lies bleedin'
He leans on the rail and continues to look at the waters. A drop of blood falls and hits the water. He watches it fall with no emotion on his face. He watches another droplet of bloody rainfall to the rushing river below.
I hold it now, I feel the dangers,
He cocks his head and smiles madly at the racing water.
Am I the only place that you've left to go?
Kari runs up and catches his arm, making him whip around to look at her
She cries that life is like,
She speaks to him.
some movie in black and white,
He shoves the glasses in his pocket hastily.
dead actors, naked lies
He yells at her angrily.
Over and over and over again she cries....
She throws herself against him sobbing.
To fall away, leave me to myself
He shoves her away and turns to leave.
To fall away, leave love bleedin' in my hands,
She grabs his hand then jerks back and looks at the blood on her palm.
In my hands again
He looks down at his hands noticing the blood for the first time.
Leave love bleedin' in my hands,
He closes his eyes and licks at the cuts on his palm acting erotically.
In my hands, love lies bleedin'
Kari pails and backs away from him but he grabs her.
And I wanted...you turn away,
Flashback of Izzy approaching Kari looking upset.
you don't remember...but I do
He yells at her and she shakes her head in denial.
You never even tried...
Flashback of Kari closing the door.
(Plain music begins) Izzy collapses on the ground outside the door crying his heart out. He holds himself, rocking as people eye him as they walk down the corridor and step around him. No one moves towards him.
To fall away, leave me to myself
He lets her go and she falls back on the ground.
To fall away, leave love bleedin'
She gets up and runs away and he watches numbly.
in my hands, in my hands again
He looks down at his hands blankly.
Leave love bleedin' in my hands,
Flashback of Izzy wrapped in the sheet on Kari's bed blood smeared across its surface.
in my hands again
Flashback of Izzy curled on his side, clutching his throat, after Kaizer killed him and Tai resuscitated him.
Leave love bleedin' in my hands,
Izzy shoves his hands in his pockets and begins walking away.
In my hands again....Ohhhooohhhoohhhhhhohhh
Glasses in hand he runs into the library. He goes into a computer room, leaving wet footprints on the floor. People look towards the door and the librarian goes over and takes the knob in her hand.
Ohhhooohhhoohhhhhhohhh...
There is a flash of light under the door... She opens it and finds it empty.
Tai sat looking at his prison angrily. It brought him there and left him. WHY? Why had the darkness called to him if it only ignored him?
"Tai, where the heck are you?!?" Izzy's voice sounded angry. His soggy foot falls echoed down the corridor outside his cell.
"Izzy!" He was so happy that he had come. Then the fear swept over him. It wanted Izzy! "No Izzy get out of here! RUN!" But his words came too late. A horror filled scream reached his ears a moment later then all was silent...
Then he woke up with the sun streaming in his bedroom window. Kari was sitting next to him. He was in her bed and he felt crappy. "...Izzy...Kari..." Tai whispered hoarsely.
"Shuuhh." Kari hushed him. "Izzy is gone and you came back. Mom and Dad are totally freaked out. You are back, aren't you?"
"We have to save Izzy..."
"We can't yet. We have no idea how to really get rid of the Kaizer and it has about ripped Ken to bits. We hardly defeated him before and Izzy isn't very stable. He's probably more deeply rooted then with Ken. We have to come up with some new ways to fight it." Kari stroked his hair back and smiled down sadly at him. "We'll get him back, I promise...I guess it was a good thing Dad got a new monitor for his computer or you could still be caught in transit."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Izzy's form sat before a giant screen filled with computer lingo. His eyes moved back and forth and his fingers danced gracefully over the keys as sweat dripped from his chin. He didn't move to sop up the sweat from his brow. He wasn't even aware of it. The only thing that existed was the rows of Digital World DNA. He found something and a twisted smile spread across his lips. "There, now we need to have a talk."
"Why talk? I possess you. I can see what you want and need." A synthetic voice spoke from the screen.
"You may see what desires and requirements I have, but not understand why I have them. Reasons are just as important. Tai wanted me, but you made him hurt me. It wasn't necessary. I would have done it willingly." He looked slightly sad, but the emotion was hidden quickly. "What do you want?"
He waited for an answer but didn't get one. "As a virus you offer certain things in order to gain admittance. What is your purpose after you have a host?" He discovered how wet his hair was and used his sleeve to soak up the perspiration. "You have a prime directive, don't you?"
"I reward with desires, not offer them. To find master and creator of myself and the Digital World is all I want."
"And what are you going to do once you find them? Why did you take over the Digimon? What do you mean reward? How do you get in?"
"I have no purpose, everyone and thing has a reason to live but me. I thought they would make my search faster and perhaps bring our creator to fix things..."
He snapped his fingers, it made sense. "You're lonely! Loneliness must be the infection's catalyst...Well, that makes sense for Ken and myself, but Daisuke and Tai? No..." He buried his head in his hands.
"Yes, loud and the center of attention to chase away the emptiness. You called to me."
"When you possess us, you take away our purpose. I will help you find the creator if you don't take over again."
"I need you as my host."
"I will share my body with you, just let me control it." He looked at the screen with determination as he offered himself over willingly.
"All right. I will do as you ask."
"Ok partner. Let me get cleaned up and start thinking of how to start this efficiently...Without taking anyone over."
"I will wait." The screen went black and a light shot out of it and into Izzy. He stood and left, looking slightly pale. "To help you, I give you all of my knowledge."
Izzy staggered and fell as Kaizer up-loaded everything into his head. He was over come by hate, loneliness, self -loathing, shame, desire, lust, arousal, and pleasure. The memories flooded him in flashes of abuse, laughter, groping, kissing, and morbid behavior. He responded with fear. He didn't understand what was going on exactly and his body was lost in tears.
He gripped at the cold stone floor with sweaty palms and rested his forehead on the surface. He managed to crawl up to his hands and knees after the whole thing was over. It had been forty minutes he had been trapped in the past. His skin was dripping with sweat. "Kaizer, let's not do that again."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Garai looked at him pointedly. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to ask you a question." Izzy stepped towards him. He had searched for the man for a while before finding him.
"What is it?" Garai looked suspicious of him.
"Who created the Kaizer? Why was it created? Who created the Digital World?"
"Those are questions not to be answered here. Leave."
"Garai!" Izzy called after him, but he had disappeared. "Well, that didn't work. I'll head back to the castle and then go home tomorrow. It's too late tonight."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Warm breath on his neck woke Izzy. His skin crawled at the nearness of something. "Wake up Izzy." He relaxed slightly, but worry and doubt remained.
"Garai?" His voice was thick with sleep and he was confused. The man had been so short with him before.
"I tell you one thing. While Kaizer possessed Ken, the Digital World almost collapsed. The very fabric was ripped apart by the joining."
"What? WHY?"
"Speak with Ken. Learn why the Kaizer chose him and the answers will unfold before you." Then he was gone again. This was getting annoying and he had just started.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Izzy stood in a phone booth. "Hello, Mom?"
"IZZY! Oh my God honey, are you ok?" Her frantic voice was high.
"I'm fine, I'm just staying with someone for a while. They need my self...I mean my help. I'm coming home tonight and sleep over cause I have some stuff to do."
"But honey, what about work?"
"I quit a few weeks ago so I was free to do things for the summer. I'll start back in the fall because they understand I'm only seventeen and need a life occasionally."
"Izzy Sweety, are you in trouble? You know you can tell me anything and I'll still love you." She sounded so scared.
"You are still worrying mom. I told you nothing's wrong. I might have something to tell you tonight but I might not. I have to go. The card's running..." The phone went dead. He hung it up and took out the drained card. He walked down the street to his first destination as he shoved the card in his pocket. He rang the doorbell.
"Coming!" Came a distant voice. "Izzy?" Ken's voice was startled. The door didn't open.
"It's me. Not the Kaizer. I've come up with a temporary solution which I hope is a little longer lasting then Nortonmon." He smiled as the door opened and Ken stood in the doorway. "I learned...no actually I heard something that might put a stop to Kaizer's infecting tendency. I need to talk to you about it."
"I don't know anything."
"I'm sure you do. He was attracted to you by your loneliness. Why were you lonely? Why did you want control so badly?" Izzy spoke softly, knowing Ken wasn't going to get any warm fuzzy feelings from dredging up those memories.
Ken took a step back. "You'd better come in side." He closed the door behind Izzy and took him back to his bedroom. "Have a seat."
"Ken, are you all right?" Izzy put a hand on his shoulder. "Ken?"
"I had an older brother that died when I was five. His name was Osamu...I've always felt like Sam was better then I could ever be." He sat down next to Izzy looking so very sad. "I just wasn't good enough. That's why I wanted to be in control. I wanted to be the best..."
He trailed off and Izzy reached out to him again. He pulled away, standing up and hugging himself tightly. "I...Ken, how did it happen?" Izzy prompted him for more detail. Ken just walked out of his room quickly. "Ken! Wait, I'm sorry, I know this is hard but I need to know..."
Ken had stopped in front of a bookshelf. He nodded wordlessly. He pulled out a black photo album from the midst of the books and brought it back to Izzy. He settled back down on the bed and opened it. A single black rose was pressed in the cover. A picture of a little boy smiling sweetly was beneath it. He carefully turned the page. News paper clippings. He skimmed them for any information that might prove helpful.
Osamu had been hit by a car and was taken to a hospital where he was pronounced DOA (dead on arrival). It all was the same over and over until he got to the last one. He about dropped the book. Sam had been hooked up to Digital Equipment designed by Kaizer Enterprises. They hoped to help future victims with data collected from patients who died hooked up to the equipment. He read it aloud to Ken after he read it to himself. "Do you know anything else?" He looked at the inadequate information in disappointment.
Ken bit his lip, shaking his head no. A tear slipped down his cheek and dripped off his chin. "What does it mean?" He ended in a soft sob. His heart hurt so bad. He clutched at area over it, wishing he could rip it free so it couldn't pain him any more.
"I don't know...Ken..." Izzy frowned, sharing his pain. He had a secret that hurt that badly. He took Ken's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "You aren't alone. Don't keep it to yourself or you'll repeat you mistakes. It's why the Kaizer came to us. We always hid our pain but it doesn't get better and we feel more alone. You and Daisuke have to trust each other now. You must work on trusting and sharing your feelings together."
He found Ken's arms wrapped around his neck and his face buried in his shoulder. He smiled softly. "Shuu Ke-chi, no need to cry. It was long ago. Everyone is proud of you just because you're you."
"Gomen...I try...I...miss you...Sam." He fell asleep in Izzy's arms. Izzy was scared. He had said...Kaizer...It was all so confusing and poor Ken. He laid the boy in his bed and tucked him in. He called Daisuke and told him to come and left a key under the mat for him.
Then he went to Tai's house. His parents were on their way out and let him in with a confused look and a smile. They said they'd be back at nine and Kari'd be back at seven. He doubted he'd need that long to figure out what was between Taichi and himself.
Tai was in the bath and Izzy stood and watched him wash slowly. He looked sick. "Tai?"
The soap he was using fell to the floor and slid a few feet away. Tai turned around slowly and looked up at him. "Kaizer..."
"No, I'm Izzy. Kaizer had no use for you." He smiled sadly at him. "Sorry I haven't called."
"God Izzy, you've got nothing to be sorry for! I...I'm so sorry, I should have...I hate myself for what happened."
"I don't." Izzy held up a hand. Tai's sorrowful apology was just too much. "I need to know what I mean to you."
"Izzy?"
"Can't you just answer me? Am I your friend, your lover, or someone you don't want to see any more?" He looked down at the floor, trying to decide what made it more interesting to look at then him.
"No! I want you, I love you, you are everything to me! I'm sorry I let the Kaizer do that to you...I'd rater die then to do anything to hurt you. I hope that no matter what you will be my best friend for ever." He kept on speaking to the floor. "If you don't want to I understand completely, but just know that I do love you and I'll never stop." He wept sorrowfully and it rained down onto the tiles, disturbing soapy bubbles.
"You are all I ever wanted." Izzy smiled at him as he finished washing. "I want to tell my mother. Is it ok?"
"Yah...I don't have to tell mine, do I? Kari kind of came out of the closet with a vengeance and they are still in shock. I might be the last straw."
"No Tai, you can decide when and if you will tell them." He paused thinking of how to put his next bit of news. "I'm leaving town tomorrow, so I guess I'll see you when I get back."
There was a lengthy pause as Tai thought it over. "Where are you going?"
Izzy watched him finish his walk over and pick up a towel, wondering exactly where he would end up. "Nogoya. I can't really explain yet, but I'll fill you in when I get back."
Tai dried off his body before wrapping it around his waist. He picked up another and put it over his head. "Why?"
As he toweled off his hair Izzy thought over the answer. "I think I found the creators of the Digital World." Tai dropped the towel and looked at him. His hair was magically at the exact angles it was at before washing. "Was your mother scared by abstract art before you were born?"
"I'm just going to ignore that. Now don't you think that everyone should know about this?"
"No, it is something personal I'm doing for myself and Ken. I don't want everyone involved." Izzy shook his head. "Tai...I'll see you later. Get some sleep. From the looks of it you haven't slept since this stuff began." He hugged him affectionately and kissed him before heading out the door.
Deedlit Magic lodoss_elf@yahoo.com
Tai called Izzy's parents after Ken and Daisuke called theirs. Izzy was asleep by the time they dared to pick up the phone without fear of being electrocuted. He folded out the couch into a bed for the boys and carried Izzy in and tucked him in Kari's bed. He looked content.
Tai felt horrible. He hadn't been able to control the Kaizer and poor Izzy had almost been lost. Yet, something still beckoned him from the darkness and he felt the need to join it. Kaizer might be gone, but it had opened his senses to another level. He wanted to explore it, take it by storm. He knew he shouldn't entertain the thoughts but he couldn't keep them from coming and enticing him...
Song Title: Iris
Video Title: Battles Within
Artist: Goo Goo Dolls
Writer: Deedlit Magic
Album: City of Angels Soundtrack
Fan Fic: Digimon
Izzy sleeps on Kari's bunk bed and Tai looks down at him with tear filled eyes.
And I'd give up forever to touch you
Tai reaches out his hand but draws it back.
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
Izzy rolls over in his sleep and smiles softly.
You're the closest thing to heaven that I'll ever be
Scene changes to the sweet kiss in the computer room.
And I don't want to go home right now
Back in the bedroom Tai takes the Kaizer glasses from his cloak on the dresser and puts them on as he looks in the mirror.
And all I can taste is this moment
Izzy sits up abruptly, fear in his eyes and Tai pulls off the glasses, hiding them away.
And all I can breathe is your life
Tai goes to his side and hugs him.
Cause sooner or later it's over
He looks over Izzy's shoulder at the glasses.
I just don't want to miss you tonight
He slips them under the bed as he takes Izzy in a kiss.
And I don't want the world to see me
Izzy is asleep and he stands at the window. He rips the curtains closed.
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
He slides to the floor.
When everything's made to be broken
Kneeling he clutches his chest.
I just want you to know who I am
He looks over to Izzy's sleeping form with desolate eyes.
(plain music begins)
He shakes his head and climbs to his feet, walking back to the dresser and looks in the mirrors.
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
He holds his face in his hands.
Or the moment of truth in your lies
He touches the glasses and looks back at his reflection.
When everything seems like the movies
He runs his hands up the sides of his face.
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive
He sinks his nails into his cheeks and scratches down to his jaw looking at the mirror in hatred.
And I don't want the world to see me
He grabs the cape and pulls it around his shoulders.
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
He glances towards the open door
When everything's made to be broken
He turns back and punches the mirror, shattering it.
I just want you to know who I am
He picks up a picture of Izzy from the dresser and looks at it before tucking it away in his pants pocket.
(plain music begins)Izzy sits up in bed, clutching the covers to his chest looking alarmed. Tai looks over his shoulder and smiles at Izzy before picking up the glasses and putting them on. He walks towards the door. Izzy stumbles out of bed and across the floor. (Music changes) He falls forward but Tai catches him. He supports his arm as Izzy gains his footing. Izzy wraps his arms around Tai and shakes his head. He leans into his chest and Tai holds him quietly for a moment. Tai puts his hand on Izzy's cheek, forcing him to look up. He smiles tenderly, stroking his face and smearing it with his blood. He kisses him on the forehead and then pushes him away gently. (Music changes) Izzy sinks to the floor sobbing. He backs away slowly before turning his back on Izzy. Tai walks purposefully out of the room. He goes to the computer room, looking around. Flashbacks of fighting the virus on the net, side by side with Izzy. Izzy is drinking something horrible and he teases him. Then he is back as an adult. He walks to the keyboard and begins typing...
(Music changes to very quiet) He straitens up and goes to stand before the monitor...
And I don't want the world to see me
Ken and Daisuke come into the room, looking worried.
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
He turns and bows to them.
When everything's made to be broken
A bright light from the monitor blinds them. They throw their arms up to protect their eyes.
I just want you to know who I am
They slowly bring their arms down. They are left standing there together...Tai is gone. Ken takes Daisuke's hand.
I don't want the world to see me
Izzy stands in the doorway, hiding in the shadows. Tears still run down his face.
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
He angrily pushes between Ken and Daisuke
When everything's made to be broken
He picks up the monitor and pitches it through the window.
I just want you to know who I am
Flashback of Tai and Izzy playing as children.
I just want you to know who I am
Flashback of Tai meeting Daisuke
I just want you to know who I am
In the computer room Ken picks up something. He holds up the Kaizer glasses from the floor.
I just want you to know who I am
Tai stands alone in the fortress looking out across the landscape with a serious expression.
Izzy stayed in Tai's bedroom for several days until Tai's parents came home. They believed that Izzy and Tai had been subject to some terrible crime and they put Izzy in the hospital. Tai was listed as kidnapped. Doctors checked Izzy over and observed him for a couple of days before releasing him. He walked to Mimi's and Kari answered. He asked her to talk with him but she slammed the door...
Song Title: Hemmorage
Video Title: Tear Soaked Rain
Artist: Fuel
Writer: Deedlit Magic
Album: Something Like Human
Fan Fic: Digimon
Izzy stands on a bridge looking over the rail into the river. Rain is soaking him but he looks like he doesn't notice because he is buried deep in misery.
Memories are just where you need them...
He pulls out a picture of Tai.
Drag the waters, till the depths give up their dead
He looks over at a loan man fishing before letting the picture fall.
What did you expect to find?
He reaches into his pocket and brings out the Kaizer glasses
Was it something you left behind...
He glowers at the object.
Don't you remember anything I said when I said
He looks up into the rain and the view pans back.
Don't fall away, leave me to myself
Flashback of him clutching his shirt in Tai and Kari's room whispering.
To fall away, an leave love bleedin' in my hands,
Flashback of Izzy stands in the bathroom and looks into the mirror at the shell of a person he once was.
in my hands again
On the bridge he clutches the glasses tightly.
Leave love bleedin' in my hands,
His knuckles whiten and blood runs between his fingers.
in my hands, love lies bleedin'
He leans on the rail and continues to look at the waters. A drop of blood falls and hits the water. He watches it fall with no emotion on his face. He watches another droplet of bloody rainfall to the rushing river below.
I hold it now, I feel the dangers,
He cocks his head and smiles madly at the racing water.
Am I the only place that you've left to go?
Kari runs up and catches his arm, making him whip around to look at her
She cries that life is like,
She speaks to him.
some movie in black and white,
He shoves the glasses in his pocket hastily.
dead actors, naked lies
He yells at her angrily.
Over and over and over again she cries....
She throws herself against him sobbing.
To fall away, leave me to myself
He shoves her away and turns to leave.
To fall away, leave love bleedin' in my hands,
She grabs his hand then jerks back and looks at the blood on her palm.
In my hands again
He looks down at his hands noticing the blood for the first time.
Leave love bleedin' in my hands,
He closes his eyes and licks at the cuts on his palm acting erotically.
In my hands, love lies bleedin'
Kari pails and backs away from him but he grabs her.
And I wanted...you turn away,
Flashback of Izzy approaching Kari looking upset.
you don't remember...but I do
He yells at her and she shakes her head in denial.
You never even tried...
Flashback of Kari closing the door.
(Plain music begins) Izzy collapses on the ground outside the door crying his heart out. He holds himself, rocking as people eye him as they walk down the corridor and step around him. No one moves towards him.
To fall away, leave me to myself
He lets her go and she falls back on the ground.
To fall away, leave love bleedin'
She gets up and runs away and he watches numbly.
in my hands, in my hands again
He looks down at his hands blankly.
Leave love bleedin' in my hands,
Flashback of Izzy wrapped in the sheet on Kari's bed blood smeared across its surface.
in my hands again
Flashback of Izzy curled on his side, clutching his throat, after Kaizer killed him and Tai resuscitated him.
Leave love bleedin' in my hands,
Izzy shoves his hands in his pockets and begins walking away.
In my hands again....Ohhhooohhhoohhhhhhohhh
Glasses in hand he runs into the library. He goes into a computer room, leaving wet footprints on the floor. People look towards the door and the librarian goes over and takes the knob in her hand.
Ohhhooohhhoohhhhhhohhh...
There is a flash of light under the door... She opens it and finds it empty.
Tai sat looking at his prison angrily. It brought him there and left him. WHY? Why had the darkness called to him if it only ignored him?
"Tai, where the heck are you?!?" Izzy's voice sounded angry. His soggy foot falls echoed down the corridor outside his cell.
"Izzy!" He was so happy that he had come. Then the fear swept over him. It wanted Izzy! "No Izzy get out of here! RUN!" But his words came too late. A horror filled scream reached his ears a moment later then all was silent...
Then he woke up with the sun streaming in his bedroom window. Kari was sitting next to him. He was in her bed and he felt crappy. "...Izzy...Kari..." Tai whispered hoarsely.
"Shuuhh." Kari hushed him. "Izzy is gone and you came back. Mom and Dad are totally freaked out. You are back, aren't you?"
"We have to save Izzy..."
"We can't yet. We have no idea how to really get rid of the Kaizer and it has about ripped Ken to bits. We hardly defeated him before and Izzy isn't very stable. He's probably more deeply rooted then with Ken. We have to come up with some new ways to fight it." Kari stroked his hair back and smiled down sadly at him. "We'll get him back, I promise...I guess it was a good thing Dad got a new monitor for his computer or you could still be caught in transit."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Izzy's form sat before a giant screen filled with computer lingo. His eyes moved back and forth and his fingers danced gracefully over the keys as sweat dripped from his chin. He didn't move to sop up the sweat from his brow. He wasn't even aware of it. The only thing that existed was the rows of Digital World DNA. He found something and a twisted smile spread across his lips. "There, now we need to have a talk."
"Why talk? I possess you. I can see what you want and need." A synthetic voice spoke from the screen.
"You may see what desires and requirements I have, but not understand why I have them. Reasons are just as important. Tai wanted me, but you made him hurt me. It wasn't necessary. I would have done it willingly." He looked slightly sad, but the emotion was hidden quickly. "What do you want?"
He waited for an answer but didn't get one. "As a virus you offer certain things in order to gain admittance. What is your purpose after you have a host?" He discovered how wet his hair was and used his sleeve to soak up the perspiration. "You have a prime directive, don't you?"
"I reward with desires, not offer them. To find master and creator of myself and the Digital World is all I want."
"And what are you going to do once you find them? Why did you take over the Digimon? What do you mean reward? How do you get in?"
"I have no purpose, everyone and thing has a reason to live but me. I thought they would make my search faster and perhaps bring our creator to fix things..."
He snapped his fingers, it made sense. "You're lonely! Loneliness must be the infection's catalyst...Well, that makes sense for Ken and myself, but Daisuke and Tai? No..." He buried his head in his hands.
"Yes, loud and the center of attention to chase away the emptiness. You called to me."
"When you possess us, you take away our purpose. I will help you find the creator if you don't take over again."
"I need you as my host."
"I will share my body with you, just let me control it." He looked at the screen with determination as he offered himself over willingly.
"All right. I will do as you ask."
"Ok partner. Let me get cleaned up and start thinking of how to start this efficiently...Without taking anyone over."
"I will wait." The screen went black and a light shot out of it and into Izzy. He stood and left, looking slightly pale. "To help you, I give you all of my knowledge."
Izzy staggered and fell as Kaizer up-loaded everything into his head. He was over come by hate, loneliness, self -loathing, shame, desire, lust, arousal, and pleasure. The memories flooded him in flashes of abuse, laughter, groping, kissing, and morbid behavior. He responded with fear. He didn't understand what was going on exactly and his body was lost in tears.
He gripped at the cold stone floor with sweaty palms and rested his forehead on the surface. He managed to crawl up to his hands and knees after the whole thing was over. It had been forty minutes he had been trapped in the past. His skin was dripping with sweat. "Kaizer, let's not do that again."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Garai looked at him pointedly. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to ask you a question." Izzy stepped towards him. He had searched for the man for a while before finding him.
"What is it?" Garai looked suspicious of him.
"Who created the Kaizer? Why was it created? Who created the Digital World?"
"Those are questions not to be answered here. Leave."
"Garai!" Izzy called after him, but he had disappeared. "Well, that didn't work. I'll head back to the castle and then go home tomorrow. It's too late tonight."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Warm breath on his neck woke Izzy. His skin crawled at the nearness of something. "Wake up Izzy." He relaxed slightly, but worry and doubt remained.
"Garai?" His voice was thick with sleep and he was confused. The man had been so short with him before.
"I tell you one thing. While Kaizer possessed Ken, the Digital World almost collapsed. The very fabric was ripped apart by the joining."
"What? WHY?"
"Speak with Ken. Learn why the Kaizer chose him and the answers will unfold before you." Then he was gone again. This was getting annoying and he had just started.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Izzy stood in a phone booth. "Hello, Mom?"
"IZZY! Oh my God honey, are you ok?" Her frantic voice was high.
"I'm fine, I'm just staying with someone for a while. They need my self...I mean my help. I'm coming home tonight and sleep over cause I have some stuff to do."
"But honey, what about work?"
"I quit a few weeks ago so I was free to do things for the summer. I'll start back in the fall because they understand I'm only seventeen and need a life occasionally."
"Izzy Sweety, are you in trouble? You know you can tell me anything and I'll still love you." She sounded so scared.
"You are still worrying mom. I told you nothing's wrong. I might have something to tell you tonight but I might not. I have to go. The card's running..." The phone went dead. He hung it up and took out the drained card. He walked down the street to his first destination as he shoved the card in his pocket. He rang the doorbell.
"Coming!" Came a distant voice. "Izzy?" Ken's voice was startled. The door didn't open.
"It's me. Not the Kaizer. I've come up with a temporary solution which I hope is a little longer lasting then Nortonmon." He smiled as the door opened and Ken stood in the doorway. "I learned...no actually I heard something that might put a stop to Kaizer's infecting tendency. I need to talk to you about it."
"I don't know anything."
"I'm sure you do. He was attracted to you by your loneliness. Why were you lonely? Why did you want control so badly?" Izzy spoke softly, knowing Ken wasn't going to get any warm fuzzy feelings from dredging up those memories.
Ken took a step back. "You'd better come in side." He closed the door behind Izzy and took him back to his bedroom. "Have a seat."
"Ken, are you all right?" Izzy put a hand on his shoulder. "Ken?"
"I had an older brother that died when I was five. His name was Osamu...I've always felt like Sam was better then I could ever be." He sat down next to Izzy looking so very sad. "I just wasn't good enough. That's why I wanted to be in control. I wanted to be the best..."
He trailed off and Izzy reached out to him again. He pulled away, standing up and hugging himself tightly. "I...Ken, how did it happen?" Izzy prompted him for more detail. Ken just walked out of his room quickly. "Ken! Wait, I'm sorry, I know this is hard but I need to know..."
Ken had stopped in front of a bookshelf. He nodded wordlessly. He pulled out a black photo album from the midst of the books and brought it back to Izzy. He settled back down on the bed and opened it. A single black rose was pressed in the cover. A picture of a little boy smiling sweetly was beneath it. He carefully turned the page. News paper clippings. He skimmed them for any information that might prove helpful.
Osamu had been hit by a car and was taken to a hospital where he was pronounced DOA (dead on arrival). It all was the same over and over until he got to the last one. He about dropped the book. Sam had been hooked up to Digital Equipment designed by Kaizer Enterprises. They hoped to help future victims with data collected from patients who died hooked up to the equipment. He read it aloud to Ken after he read it to himself. "Do you know anything else?" He looked at the inadequate information in disappointment.
Ken bit his lip, shaking his head no. A tear slipped down his cheek and dripped off his chin. "What does it mean?" He ended in a soft sob. His heart hurt so bad. He clutched at area over it, wishing he could rip it free so it couldn't pain him any more.
"I don't know...Ken..." Izzy frowned, sharing his pain. He had a secret that hurt that badly. He took Ken's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "You aren't alone. Don't keep it to yourself or you'll repeat you mistakes. It's why the Kaizer came to us. We always hid our pain but it doesn't get better and we feel more alone. You and Daisuke have to trust each other now. You must work on trusting and sharing your feelings together."
He found Ken's arms wrapped around his neck and his face buried in his shoulder. He smiled softly. "Shuu Ke-chi, no need to cry. It was long ago. Everyone is proud of you just because you're you."
"Gomen...I try...I...miss you...Sam." He fell asleep in Izzy's arms. Izzy was scared. He had said...Kaizer...It was all so confusing and poor Ken. He laid the boy in his bed and tucked him in. He called Daisuke and told him to come and left a key under the mat for him.
Then he went to Tai's house. His parents were on their way out and let him in with a confused look and a smile. They said they'd be back at nine and Kari'd be back at seven. He doubted he'd need that long to figure out what was between Taichi and himself.
Tai was in the bath and Izzy stood and watched him wash slowly. He looked sick. "Tai?"
The soap he was using fell to the floor and slid a few feet away. Tai turned around slowly and looked up at him. "Kaizer..."
"No, I'm Izzy. Kaizer had no use for you." He smiled sadly at him. "Sorry I haven't called."
"God Izzy, you've got nothing to be sorry for! I...I'm so sorry, I should have...I hate myself for what happened."
"I don't." Izzy held up a hand. Tai's sorrowful apology was just too much. "I need to know what I mean to you."
"Izzy?"
"Can't you just answer me? Am I your friend, your lover, or someone you don't want to see any more?" He looked down at the floor, trying to decide what made it more interesting to look at then him.
"No! I want you, I love you, you are everything to me! I'm sorry I let the Kaizer do that to you...I'd rater die then to do anything to hurt you. I hope that no matter what you will be my best friend for ever." He kept on speaking to the floor. "If you don't want to I understand completely, but just know that I do love you and I'll never stop." He wept sorrowfully and it rained down onto the tiles, disturbing soapy bubbles.
"You are all I ever wanted." Izzy smiled at him as he finished washing. "I want to tell my mother. Is it ok?"
"Yah...I don't have to tell mine, do I? Kari kind of came out of the closet with a vengeance and they are still in shock. I might be the last straw."
"No Tai, you can decide when and if you will tell them." He paused thinking of how to put his next bit of news. "I'm leaving town tomorrow, so I guess I'll see you when I get back."
There was a lengthy pause as Tai thought it over. "Where are you going?"
Izzy watched him finish his walk over and pick up a towel, wondering exactly where he would end up. "Nogoya. I can't really explain yet, but I'll fill you in when I get back."
Tai dried off his body before wrapping it around his waist. He picked up another and put it over his head. "Why?"
As he toweled off his hair Izzy thought over the answer. "I think I found the creators of the Digital World." Tai dropped the towel and looked at him. His hair was magically at the exact angles it was at before washing. "Was your mother scared by abstract art before you were born?"
"I'm just going to ignore that. Now don't you think that everyone should know about this?"
"No, it is something personal I'm doing for myself and Ken. I don't want everyone involved." Izzy shook his head. "Tai...I'll see you later. Get some sleep. From the looks of it you haven't slept since this stuff began." He hugged him affectionately and kissed him before heading out the door.
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