Disclaimer: Pokemon and all its copyrighted characters belong to me! You, young Nintendo Attorney, must battle your way to my Isle of Doom armed only with an enchanted legal brief and a ball-point pen and fight through ten levels before reaching Snake Mountain! Can you save your imperilled intellectual property, suspended above a pit of boiling lava?
Errr...maybe not. Characters here are reproduced without permission and are property of Nintendo of America.
This fiction contains fluff, sap and mush. You've been warned.
A/N: Italics or text in *asterisks* indicates thought. [] indicate Pokemon speak. FYI, my take on Pikachu communicating is that Ash can understand him, but it isn't an exact science. Pikachu's odd grammar is intentional.
Ash: 13
Misty: 14
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The hills surrounding the sleepy town of Pallet watched.
Bathed in a stunning pink glow from the slowly setting sun, they watched the boy. They'd watched this one before, and for a long time. They'd seen the boy who laughed and thought of nothing but Pokemon and Battles and Masters. The boy with the red and white cap, sitting on his unruly black hair as a testament to everything he was.
The hills watched the boy, as he sat on the rock, trying not to think.
Some, especially the certain red-haired girl, would've laughed at him. Laughed, and stated derisively that not thinking was a pretty easy task for him. How he wished it were so, however.
He fought to keep his attention on something else. Yet again, he turned his head slightly to catch a glimpse of the rural vista around him. The fields were there, as they had been for as long as he could remember.
Yet now, as he lay on the rocky slab at the Oak Laboratory, it was all different. He wasn't looking to a golden future, he was fighting to banish the thoughts of a black past. For the first time, the youthful exuberance was gone. He'd come so far, but what had he actually accomplished?
His thoughts once again slipped to the day, and the moment he couldn't get out of his head.
"And Oak's Umbreon slams into Ketchum's Pikachu! Both trainers
are out of Pokemon, folks, and this could be it!"
Ash cried out in shock as the dark Pokemon thudded into its much
smaller yellow opponent. Pikachu flew in a low arc before coming
to rest in a battered heap.
'C'mon, get up, get up' Ash willed. Without thinking, his eyes sought out Misty's. Her gaze only told him what he already knew - it was over.
Pikachu gave one futile attempt at stirring, before collapsing again with a whimpered "Chu!".
The referee gave the mouse a long hard look, before finally raising
the green flag.
"Pikachu is unable to battle! Victory goes to the green trainer,
Gary Oak!"
"He's done it! Oak has finished off Ketchum, and taken the
coveted title of Johto-"
Even as the announcer began lauding his opponent, Ash flew out of
the trainer's box and down to his stricken friend.
He scooped up the tiny creature in both arms, blocking out the cheers
of the crowd.
Pikachu's eyes flicked open, full of sorrow.
"Pikapi, pi pikachu" [Ash, I'm so sorry].
Ash felt tears begin to form. "You did great, Pikachu.
You battled harder than i've ever seen you. I'll get you fixed up
in no time".
And with those words, his friend fainted.
He turned and ran. Not even waiting for Misty or Brock, he
flew out the trainer's tunnel, past the locker rooms and out into the cold
air outside the stadium.
And then it hit him.
He'd hiked and battled for a year, all over Johto, collecting badges
and generally adventuring - all for nothing.
He'd said goodbye to old friends, made new ones, and developed bonds
he never thought possible, and learnt so much.
Yet in the freezing air outside the Goldenrod stadium, it meant
nothing.
He'd failed.
Failed his town. Failed his mother, Misty, Brock. Failed Pikachu. Failed Himself.
And as he looked up at the moon, another sickening question settled in his mind: what was he going to do now?
The journey back from Johto to the tiny Kanto hamlet of Pallet had been, unsurprisingly, quite a muted affair. Despite his victory Gary Oak had treated Ash well, not mocked or berated him. He'd been kind, even sympathetic. Yet it had only made things worse - Ash couldn't muster the burning desire to beat his rival that had driven him to Johto a year ago.
His friends had given him a wide berth. In what Ash considered one of the few bright spots of the entire trek back, Misty had been surprisingly nice to him. She'd avoided any harsh comments about his abilities or the fact that he always got them lost, and had at times tried consoling him with a few kind words. Even such small acts had been the only things that had made the journey home bearable, but Ash was at a loss to figure out why.
It was Misty, not the vast world of Pokemon, that presented the deepest enigma in his short life. She'd gone beyond mere titles; she wasn't just his friend - or coach, or bodyguard (as she'd once snorted in derision). She wasn't a rival or a foe.
She was Misty.
Things had changed over the last year. On a few rare occasions, he'd caught her almost staring at him with an expression he couldn't identify. Her eyes would move back to facing ahead almost immediately, but nonetheless she'd blush. He'd shrug and walk on.
Much of the venom had left their fights. They still bickered, but it was almost formulaic now. They'd each grown comfortable with the verbal sparring, and whilst Ash was still left aggravated afterward it wasn't the same as before.
For his part, he'd find himself looking at her as she slept, unable to work out why. The dying flames from the campfire would wash their strange light over the face of the sleeping girl, bathing it in a soft glow. He'd loose himself in the sight, and would be brought back only at Pikachu's urging. Still - she looked....well, beautiful. Not the scrawny runt her sisters had always teased.....
*No way you're going to start thinking like that Ash*, a small voice in his head interjected. *Misty's your best human friend. She doesn't like you like that. Start burying any emotions that say otherwise, 'cause you're just going to get hurt if you don't*.
He reluctantly agreed with his brain. Besides, what kind of a life could he offer her? He was an unimpressive trainer stuck in a podunk town, with no future and no happiness to offer to her.
"Pikapi?"
He turned his head, noticing that Pikachu had assumed an identical pose on the slab of rock, facing upwards to the sky.
"Hey little buddy."
"Pi pikachu, pika pi" [Greetings, Ash. You're out late].
He looked up at Ash questioningly. "Pikachu, chu pika pika?".
[Are you waiting for the moon?].
He asked with such seriousness that Ash had to bite back a laugh.
"Nah. Just thinking, you know?".
'[Oh. You ponder about her again, don't you?].
Ash sat up with a jerk, his face going red. "What are you talking
about? You're imagining things".
[Yeah. Sure.].
Ash lay back down and sighed. "That obvious, huh?".
The pokemon let out what passed for a laugh. [Yes. The
only one who fails to notice is her. She just thinks you're sad about
what happened].
"In case you hadn't noticed, I AM sad about what happened". He
reached into his pocket and retrieved a small sachet of ketchup, and threw
it to the waiting creature. His claws tore open the top and he started
slurping down the contents.
He paused before continuing. He wasn't sure if he wanted to ask what he was about to ask.
"I was thinking about what comes next". He sighed. "I was
thinking of letting you and the others choose what you wanted to do next".
He was answered with a face full of ketchup, sprayed out of Pikachu's
mouth in surprise at the question. I guess the way I said it gave
it away....
[Don't you even think about quitting, Ash! Don't be silly!
We don't give up!].
"Waaa!". He started to wipe off the sauce with his jacket.
"Ok, ok! No need to get so angry about it. I was just thinking
of giving up battling for a while. Didn't want you to be stuck here
doing nothing".
"Chuuu!"
He didn't react fast enough, and was rewarded with a dose of high voltage.
He rolled off the rock, feeling a bit singed.
[You can't get like this just because of one loss, Ash! I won't
let you, and Misty won't let you, so don't even bother trying].
With that, the yellow creature jumped up and ran off back toward the lab. Ash clambered back up onto the rock, and sighed. Easy enough for them to say.
* * *
"I'm going to miss this apron", Brock lamented.
The fiery haired girl sitting at the table sipping coffee merely nodded.
"Yeah, I'm sure you'll never find another where you're going". She
paused. "Have you told Ash yet?" she asked softly.
Brock frowned. "I wasn't going to bug him with it. I won't
be gone long - a few months, tops. He doesn't need to worry about
me leaving in addition to everything else". He began adding spices
to a nearby simmering pot.
Misty growled and leapt to her feet, then started
to pace around the kitchen. "He can't just sit there forever Brock",
she growled. "If he wants to be ready for the next cycle of the Indigo
League Champs, he has to get focused and start training again. All
he's done for two months is sit there on that rock and feel sorry for himself".
"He'll snap out of it. He's hurting, Misty.
You of all people should be able to see that". He added that last
part without thinking, and was rewarded with a nasty glare. "What
do you mean, 'you of all people'?" she snapped.
He raised his hands to ward off any possible mallet
related violence. "Ugh, nothing! Nothing at all. Hey!
Isn't that a tentacruel on the TV?".
She whirled around to glance at the battle going on behind them, but by the time she realized it was a trick Brock had scampered off
"Grrr!".
She threw herself down on the sofa, turning off the TV so she could
have a bit of peace. The next few months weren't looking all that
promising. Brock was going back to his family whilst his father took
care of some business in the Sienna District, and wouldn't be back for
three or four months. Deliah Ketchum had also taken this opportunity
for a holiday, her first in several years. She was heading out to
the Orange Archipelago (Misty could imagine her retracing her son's steps
with no small amount of pride), and wouldn't be back for six weeks.
That left her and Ash, alone, for over a month.
Normally, she could handle this. But the Ash of old had vanished
under the cloud of this strange depression he was going through.
The unparalleled confidence was gone. The desire didn't seem to be
there anymore, either. Even after a defeat, he'd normally summon
up enough drive to move himself past it.
Not now, though.
She sighed again. *Now I'M starting to get depressed. Not gonna happen. Ash will pick himself up and start over, or i'll drag him up kicking and screaming*. She was his friend - his closest, perhaps - and she owed him that much.
Ash's face seemed to force her way into her mind. His impish grin,
his unruly black hair, and his eyes - blackish brown orbs, flecked with
the odd golden sparkle. It was a sad but true fact that Ash could
look at her with that grin and those eyes, and she'd start dissolving internally.
It was ridiculous, really.
It wasn't very fair, either.
She hadn't meant to fish him out of a river. Or let him
wreck her bike.
She hadn't meant to start following him around, or begin acting as a guide to a world he didn't understand. She hadn't meant to let herself get caught up in his boyish exuberance, his confidence, or his overall goal.
She certainly hadn't meant to fall for him. But she'd fallen, and hard. The fights and arguments hurt, but every time she contemplated simply leaving him something would happen.
He'd look at me with that little grin. Or he'd give me his jacket because it was cold. Or he'd do something incredibly brave - like jump out of a crashing spaceship, or rescue me from a collapsing bridge. Or I'd be dozing and glimpse him watching me at night with those soulful eyes.
And I keep feeding him asinine excuses about my bike whenever he questions me. I'm really following him for *him*.
No, she reflected, it really wasn't very fair.
* * *
The two days following Brock's departure were almost surreal for Misty. Ash spent even amounts of time watching TV, eating, sleeping and brooding - but not training. His Pokeballs lay untouched hanging on his belt, which he left hanging on a chair in his room every day. Not surprisingly, this was the main cause of the trouble was to follow.
It was long after the sun had settled beneath the horizon, and Ash sat seemingly immersed in the harsh glare of the television. It was a PokeTV special, a repeat of some of the most recent battles up at the Indigo Plateau.
Misty stifled a yawn as she cleared away the last of the plates, her eyes flicking between what she was doing and the young man spread out on the couch. His eyes lacked the almost feverish intensity they always had when viewing Pokemon battles - the intensity that had always made Misty feel as if he was one step away from jumping out the door and finding someone to challenge. She shot a quick glance at Pikachu, who was happily slurping his favourite red condiment from a bowl.
She walked out of the kitchen and shook her head. "Ash, you've got to get back to some sort of regular training. Every day you miss is going to make it that much harder when you next take on the League".
He looked up at her with his dull stare. "Yeah, yeah. I'll
get on to it tomorrow". His voice carried no real conviction that
he intended to do anything.
Misty felt her emotions building. "Well, if you aren't going
to do it for yourself, you could at least do it for your Pokemon!
They've been stuck in their balls with nothing to do for days! It
isn't fair on them, Ash!".
"If you're so worried about them, why don't YOU take them out for a
walk" he growled.
Misty could sense what was coming, but she found herself helpless to
stop it.
She raised her voice and fixed him with a vicious stare. "I'M
not the one neglecting his Pokemon. If you really cared about them
you'd be training with them, not sitting here like a slob, Mr. Pokemon
Master!".
THAT got his attention, as she knew it would. Part of her hated knowing what buttons to press.
He jumped to his feet and gave her a dirty look.
"Grr! Don't call me that! I've been on the road for almost
two years without a break, and I think I deserve a rest!".
She snorted derisively. "Well, it looks like you still haven't
decided what your priorities are. I thought after four years you'd
have grown up a little, but I guess not!".
"I've grown! You know that! I won the Orange League and
I got to the finals in Johto! I'm not a baby!" he shouted.
"Then stop acting like one!"
"If YOU don't like the way I'm doing things, maybe you should just
leave! Run off like Brock did!"
Oh, Ash, please don't start with this! She began to falter. This was getting out of control. But her emotions and anger were beginning to take control.
"Well maybe I SHOULD leave! Its obvious you don't care about your
training", she moved closer to him, "OR your FRIENDS!".
"Real friends don't pick fights for no reason!". His voice was
beginning to crack now, she'd pushed too far. "Why don't you run
home to your precious Gym, Misty! You're obviously just bored here!".
He paused, the better angels of his nature making a futile attempt
to stop him doing what he was about to.
He grabbed his wallet from a nearby shelf and threw a wad of notes
in her direction. "Here's a down payment on your bike! Now
you don't have to hang around me anymore!"
Misty felt tears begin to form at the corners of her eyes, matching
the ones she could see forming in Ash's.
"FINE! I WILL! It's obvious Mr. Big Shot Ash doesn't need
the people who care about him and his pokemon!". She scooped up her
nearby backpack, tears now flowing down her cheeks, and moved swiftly into
the night.
* * *
He sat there, gazing out into the inky blackness. It had been
half an hour since the fight, but the feeling that had settled in Ash's
chest as he screamed the words at her was still there.
He groaned softly. Why does it hurt so much? Why do
I feel so empty?
Another part of his brain was quick to respond. *Because you've
just driven away the person you care about the most in your life* it spat
savagely. *Team Rocket was always calling you a twerp - now you've
proved they were right*.
He felt sick. His chest felt tight, and seemed to throb in a kind of dull ache. His mind was a jumble of thoughts, unable to settle on one idea or emotion. He just wanted to crawl up in a ball on the floor and fall asleep, hoping everything would be magically all right when he awoke.
He felt a slight tug on his shirt, and he turned to see one very angry
looking Pikachu.
"Pika, pikachu chu pika pi! Pikachu, Pikapi!". [You said
some bad things, things that didn't need saying. You've gone too
far, Ash!]. Ash was taken aback; Pikachu very rarely got this upset.
"...I know, I know! I just couldn't help myself. You know
how we get sometimes....and everything just seemed to go out of control".
The Pokemon's tone became solemn. [You hurt her this time, Ash.
This wasn't like the other times].
He just sat there, wallowing in the truth of that statement.
It was some minutes before he spoke again.
"Maybe.....maybe its for the best" he choked out, feeling the tears
threatening to reform. "She didn't deserve to stay here and watch
me mope about like a loser. She was with us for the journey and for
repayment, not for the company". The words felt bitter coming out,
truths that he knew deep down but wanted to ignore.
Pikachu gave a curious sigh.
"Pikapi!". He motioned to his tail. [Hold on for a second].
What does he want to show me? He softly took hold of the
jagged appendage.
"Fine, but I don't see what this pr-"
"CHUUU"
"WAAAAAA!"
It wasn't a big jolt, but it was enough to send him off the couch and
onto the floor, the air thick with ozone.
Pikachu glared down at him from the couch.
[Speak more like that and I'll shock you again]. He pointed a
small hand toward the window, out into the darkness.
[She wouldn't be better off, and neither would you. I know how
it is when you fight - you both mope and cover up what you truly feel.
She stays because she cares for you, Ash. She has no feelings about
the bike].
Ash stared up at him, the feeling in his chest beginning a wild flux.
"What? How do you know that?".
[When you sleep. She watches you, sometimes. I know the
look she has. I have seen it on other humans. You do not see,
because all you see is the mask she wears]. He looked a bit sheepish.
[You are not very observant, Ash].
Ash pulled himself into a sitting position, his head slowly drooping.
"But it's too late now. She's gone. I can't crawl back to Cerulean
City, she'd shut the door on me".
"Pikapi!". He glanced at Pikachu again, who was gesturing upstairs.
"Pipipi!".
"She left Togepi behind?". His mouth dropped open. "But
that means she never really...".
He never finished the sentence, because as the realization hit him
he was up on his feet and already heading outside.
Pikachu allowed himself a smile, then began a slow trot up the stairs to the room where Misty stayed. He decided to keep Togepi company just in case the little egg creature woke and found its mother nowhere to be seen.
He paused at the landing. Strange creatures they became, Pikapi and Misty, when the other was involved.
* * *
He ran.
The wind seemed to roar in his ears as his muscles burned, sending
him tearing down the dusty path.
He'd abandoned any logical thought of where to go, instead allowing his instincts to guide him. The moon had decided to make an appearance, bathing the trees and grass in an odd blue glow, but giving Ash enough light to avoid stumbling.
His lungs were burning now, but the adrenaline in his veins and the swirling maelstrom of emotions within his heart pushed the pain out of his mind.
He knew where his instincts were taking him now. The river! She'd come down here from time to time, when she wanted to be alone. If she were anywhere, she'd be here.
The open field gave way to a grove of trees, and Ash knew he wasn't far away. He slowed to a quick walk, bent low, so to avoid any possible detection. Sure, he'd gotten himself here, but even if he found her he wasn't sure what he'd say.
Finally, he came to a rest behind a small hedgerow. He peered
out toward the silvery ribbon of water, his eyes scanning the riverbank...
And he spotted her. She was remarkably close, legs out, sitting
back against a large tree overlooking the slow moving stream.
His eyes sought out her face. She was no longer crying, just staring silently ahead, lost in the scene and with her own thoughts.
And instantly, he understood what Pikachu had told him. The masks she wore normally were gone, vanished in her solitude. The fiery redhead with the bold attitude, the one who suffered no fools and took no prisoners, was gone. In her place was the person nobody else saw - the quiet, emotional little girl. The girl who had lost her parents at a young age. Who had felt compelled to leave her own family and home searching for acceptance. The girl who used her natural temper and forceful nature to hide her emotions and feelings, wanting to show them but terrified of being rejected and set adrift.
And here she is, he thought, out in the cold because I've pushed her away from me. I'm no better than her sisters.
He gazed at her face, the bluish-green eyes staring sadly out at the river. He didn't know why, but tears started stinging at his eyes.
How could I have done this to her? She...means too much to me to hurt her like this!
*All well and good*, the colder part of his mind cut in, *but what are you going to do about it?*
"I'll make it better." The words came out with a mix of deep emotion and fierce resolution.
He stood from his hiding spot, the feeling in his chest making him light
headed. He resisted the urge to simply faint, and began a slow march
toward her.
Ten metres.
Five metres.
At two metres he stopped, and she saw him out of
the corner of her eye. He turned to face him, surprised - but not
afraid as she might have been, or angry as he feared she'd be. He
moved to a spot on the tree about 45 degrees from where she sat, and dropped
to the ground a bit awkwardly.
"Hi" he said finally.
She was silent for a moment. "If you've come to say goodbye,
you didn't need to. I'll leave tomorrow morning when I can get my
things". The self defence mechanism was back up again, burying her
true feelings behind the mask once again.
"I kinda noticed you'd left Togepi. I don't think I could take
care of him as well as you do". He laughed weakly, and she gave him
a look of mild disapproval.
They sat there in silence for a while. There was an odd chirping
now and then, but the area was silent but for the quiet movement of the
water.
This is it, Ash thought. If I don't get the ball rolling
she'll be gone tomorrow and I'll never see her again.
"You were right, you know", he said finally.
Her sad expression vanished, giving way to a look of mild curiosity.
Ash, apologizing? To her? This was something new.
She said nothing, so he continued. "I've been acting like a twerp.
I got so caught up in feeling like a loser that I lost sight of what I
wanted. I'm getting back on the right track, starting tomorrow.
Pikachu's getting a little pudgy from all that ketchup and no exercise".
He tried to sound as resolute as possible.
She was silent again. "I'm sure you'll do well". The bitterness
in her voice cut into Ash, but he kept going.
"I......" he tried to force the words. "I can't do it without
you, Mist".
Her expression changed again. The mask was gone, the sadness
replaced by curiosity....and was that a little bit of hope he saw in her
bluish-green eyes?
"Without you I'd just end up making a whole lot of dumb mistakes.
Hey, if you hadn't fished me out of the river I'd probably have ended back
home, slaving through school and going nowhere. I owe you a debt
that I can never repay with a new bike or money or even words".
Wow. I didn't even know I could sound that poetic.
"I'm.....sorry I told you to leave. I was wrong. I know
you probably don't want anything to do with me now, but all I can say is
that I was wrong and I was stupid".
"You're my best friend, Mist. Without you I'm just another trainer
with no brains and a knack for getting into trouble".
He turned his head away and began to study his shoelaces. He'd
run out of the little eloquence he'd managed to store, and was lost for
anything to say next.
Her voice came back, no longer distant or unemotional. "And if
I was still going to leave, what would you do then?". Her tone was
playful now, and as he looked back up at her face her she was smiling,
her eyes sparkling with mischief. He summoned up an impish grin.
"I guess I'd take a leaf out of your book and start following YOU around".
She gave a mock growl and slapped his shoulder lightly. They
both laughed, and Ash could feel the pain and emptiness that had settled
behind his ribcage vanish.
Her hand settled onto his shoulder. Even through his jacket it
felt warm, and the slight pressure made his shoulder feel oddly fuzzy.
Her eyes sparkled. "You're wrong though, Ash Ketchum. You
could never be an ordinary trainer. Never in a million years.
Don't you ever start believing that, or my mallet will have to convince
you otherwise".
She stood, dragging him up by the arm. "Come on, lets go. I'm hungry". He pretended to look hurt. "Isn't that supposed to be my line?". She laughed and shot him a faux-angry look.
A second later, her eyes twinkled with mischief.
"Ash....if you started following me, I guess that means I'd get to break something of yours, huh?"
"Waaaaa!". He fixed her with a glare, only to see her giggle madly
at his expense. "Very funny, Misty".
Besides, his mind cut in, she could break anything of mine
except my heart and I wouldn't care. He gave his head a sharp
tap as if to silence it, then turned back toward home.
Now shrouded in a foreboding darkness, the hills around Pallet town stood resolute as they gazed upon the two young people working their way home.
They watched as the young man cracked a joke, and they watched the girl's eyes twinkle as she laughed. They saw the boy blush imperceptibly, and then saw the two revert to a comfortable silence, each just content with the other being there.
Yes, the hills watched.
* * *
End of Chapter 1
A/N: There it is. My first attempt at an actual serious
fiction :). I realize the lack of a 'confession' scene is annoying
to some people, but I just couldn't work it into the last scene.
That'll come in a future chapter, if I get enough feedback to make it worth
continuing. Please review :).