This is pretty much the end. Hope you liked it :-)
Dear Faith.
by Lily
Dear Buffy,
Um, hey. It's me, Faith. You know, that girl whose guts you hate? Not that
I blame you or anything, obviously. I was an evil skank, I deserved everything
I got. I've been subbing for you the last few months, keeping your seat warm,
and the hellmouth shut, you know?
So... What's it like being dead? I wonder if it's anything like being in a coma.
We should compare notes one day. One day, when you don't hate me and when we're
both either dead or alive or ghosts or whatever.
I'm rambling. Stalling even. I don't want to talk about the thing that this letter
is written specifically to tell you about. Because the thing that this is about...
It scares the crap outta me.
They've found a way to bring you back, B. Willow was looking in those Wicca books
of hers, and she and Tara think they've found a spell that will bring you back to
the land of the living.
Little D is beside herself. She's smiling all the time, and she's always talkin'
about how wicked cool it will be when her sister comes home. (Uh, yeah, that's
another thing. She says wicked a lot... My bad.) She's kept your room the way you
left it, and she's in there all the time dusting and vacuuming and airing it out so
that when you come home it'll be like you never left. I told her that if she wanted
it to look normal, she should throw a bunch of your clothes on the floor and rumple
the bed. I don't think she thought I was funny.
Spike is stressed about the spell. He's still a bit nuts over you too though, so
he's on a happy kick as well. I think he's worried that something will go wrong
and that you won't come back, so he's trying not to get too excited.
The G-man (I've got Xander callin' him that again, it's wicked funny) is pretty quiet
nowdays. He's got no one to watch, and he can't even help Willow out with her mojo
any more. He was about ready to call it quits and go back to England when they found
the spell. And Spike isn't the only one trying not to get too excited, but Giles' fingers
are so crossed that he'll never get 'em straight again. He was also mighty pissed when
Anya let slip about the spell to Dawn. He didn't want to get the little D's hopes up too
high, just in case it doesn't work.
Xander and Anya are engaged. (Thought I should catch you up on a little gossip as well
while I'm here.) They were even gonna let me come to the wedding. I thought it'd be funny
if I helped Little D catch the bouquet, really shake up Giles. Ask her to tell you about
how he proposed -- it's a real sweet story once you get past the way Anya tells it.
And Xander was the one who convinced me to come, so you should thank him or something.
Maybe throw him a bucks party with a stripper? I was going too, but... Fate's intervening.
If you still hate me, Red's reaction to my return will give you a happy. She pretty much
ignored me until I saved Tara from a demon. I think Tara convinced her that I had done
some leaf turning, so now we have this 'I don't like you, but I respect you as an evil-
fighter' thing going.
So... I should probably get to the pointy part of this. The part where I explain why
I can't tell you any of this stuff in person, when you come back.
This spell that Willow found... I don't know exactly how it works, but I know that
I'm kinda integral in the whole resurrection process. And the bottom line is...
I'm gonna die.
Willow'll do some magic, say some words, and you'll be alive and I'll be dead. And
I'm mostly okay with that. It was even my idea. Because Red found the spell and was
reading it out loud to everyone. Spike and I were lurking towards the back, and I heard
her trail off when it got to the bit that said 'one slayer alive, one slayer dead...
blah, blah, blah.' And I didn't sleep at all that night, thining about how they all looked
at me and then looked away all sad. There was part of them that knew they couldn't even
ask me to do it, that it wouldn't be right. But the other part wanted you back so bad...
So I went to them the next day and told them I'd do it. They all tried to talk me
out of it, but it was like if you tried to convince someone that you love them when you
know that you don't -- you're heart just isn't in it. I don't blame them though -- everyone
loves you, B.
I know I'd never be as good at Slaying as you. I know I'd never be able to save the world
the way you do. And I know I could never take your place in their world.
And how's sacrificing your life as the ultimate act of redemption? I figure it'll
earn me some brownie points with the powers that be, maybe I won't end up in Hell or whatever.
So maybe I'll see you some day, a million years from now, and you can catch me up and we can
not hate eachother. 'Cause I think I'd like that.
Take care of them, B. Because nothing in life is as precious as people who love you -- take it
from someone who doesn't have any.
Faith.