{Author's note: Sorry this one didn't come sooner... but, um, my computer got a REALLY bad virus... And I had to get rid of it. It took a long time. Here it is the next chapter. Oh yeah, and for the person who asked, Hyne is a god in the FF8 world. Great Hyne: Creator of mankind and believed to be the first sorceress. Calling a sorceress the Great Hyne's descendent shows great respect."}
-Her-
I opened the door to my dorm and slammed it behind me.
Tossing my sweatshirt hapharzardly on the floor, I sigh, and plop on my bed, kicking off my sandals. Damn you, Seifer. Just second best. Use me, for help, but then when Rinoa...comes...along... I yawn and slowly fall asleep.
When I wake up, its around 4 am. I don't care. I believed you Seifer... I thought you really, truly loved me.
"Dammit...!" I mutter, sitting up.
"Hey..."
"Seifer? Go away... Breaking and entering is a crime, you know..." Seifer, what the hell are you doing here? Leave me alone.
"Its just your dorm."
"Keyword being MINE."
"Oh, come on, Quistis."
"Well, what are you doing here...?"
"I wanted to apologize... I mean, she was hurting..." I stand up, not caring that I'm only dressed in a skimpy tank top and shorts.
"And... you said you loved me. Yeah, right."
"I do..."
"Sure, okay, then you do! But only second best! I won't tolerate second best. Its not worth it..."
"Quistis, you aren't second best..."
"Shut up, Seifer! Don't lie to me. I don't want it! ...I am second best! I always will be! I KNOW that, and I'll deal with it! But DON'T YOU LIE! Dammit..."
"...Quistis..."
"LEAVE!" I point to the door. My voice is shaky and loud. I want him out, and I NEVER want to see him, or anyone else again... Maybe he had the right idea with the sleeping pills... I see Seifer walk out the door silently. I don't want... to live... Seifer and I are alike. We belong together... second best. Him and Rinoa... I guess they were meant to be together... Now, if my memory serves me correct, I should have some sleeping pills in my cabinet. No... I can't do this... Or, whats the point... of living? Dammit, Quistis, you're thinking crazy. Stop it... Where is my life going? No where. I need to stop this thinking! I have a life ahead of me... whether it be lonely or not... But I don't want to be lonely... Seifer... Why did I believe you...? You're Seifer, I'm not supposed to believe you... but I did. And I loved you back. What a fool, I am...
I plopped back on my bed, and sighed. I didn't sleep at all. I stayed in my dorm all day the next day, and Rinoa was probably with Seifer in his... Hah, I don't even want to think about what they were doing. Damn you, Rinoa, you get it all.
I glanced at myself in the mirror. I looked awful. My hair was out of place, and I had light grey circles under my eyes. I sipped some coffee, thankful I had some stashed away, and looked at the clock. Midnight. No one should be around. So, I decided to go for a walk. I pulled on my blue sweatshirt from off the floor, and slipped on my sandals. Hyne, I really hope no one's around. I'd hate for anyone to see me like this. I sigh, and walk past Seifer's dorm. No noises. He's probably just quiet. I giggle softly to myself, and walk along further. I pass Rinoa's dorm. Silence. She's with Seifer. I sigh and gaze out the large dormitory hall window, hoping the moonlight will guide me... but it doesn't. The moon just hides behind the clouds. Am I that bad...? Thats when I hear it. From right across the hall.
"Rinoaaa!" ...Squall? Its coming from Squall's dorm! So... they got back together. Hmm, I guess Rinoa will go for anyone. Doesn't matter though, Seifer proved last night that he would have Rinoa over me... I won't be second best...
"Quistis!" I turn. Seifer... My eyes narrow. " I knew I'd find you here!"
"You did... How so?"
"Okay, so, uh, maybe I was looking all over for you, but that doesn't matter, right?"
"...Mhm..." I mutter.
"Squaaaaaallllll!" A muffled voice says from across the hall.
"Uh, can we go somewhere else and talk?" Seifer asks, looking rather uncomfortable.
"Sure... whatever. Where?"
"My dorm..." I follow him slowly. We arrive at his dorm, and he tells me to take a seat. I do.
"So, uh, what did you want again?" I ask.
"Rinoa..." He opens his mouth to continue, but its so tempting to interupt.
"I asked WHAT you wanted, not WHO." I say, rasing my eyebrows.
"Quis-tis!" I smile slyly.
"Go on."
"Well, it was just an instinct, but, then I looked up and you were gone. I sent her to my dorm, and told her to wait there for me... I went after you, Quistis, but when I got there, you were asleep... Oh, Quistis, I'm sorry."
"Not as sorry as I am... for only able to be second best, Seifer. You don't know how much I wanted for someone to love me... and hold me... but not when they are unhappy with the only thing they could get! ...Your instincts... they told you, Rinoa, so you held her, and you tried to comfort her... You don't just try to comfort anyone..." I stand up. "You weren't so welcoming to me that night in the training center... You'd only hold Rinoa if she came running up to you! And you know that too..." I look down at him. I can see I've gotten him. I guess... there is no hope for me, if not even Seifer Almasy can counter my words. Might as well finish it.
"So, I bid you farewell, Seifer Almasy. Maybe, just maybe I'll see you again."
"Where are you going?"
"To a place faraway from here... Away from my past, future, and present. Because, I'm very sick of asking 'what about me?' every single day, of my life!" I turn and exit his dorm. I don't bother to get the things from my dorm, I just walk out the exit of Balamb, in shorts, and a SeeD sweatshirt. The brisk night air makes me shiver, but maybe I deserve it. I run through the feilds of Balamb, wondering were I'm going... To the sea? I walk toward the water's edge. I can see the moon. It has started to set. I let the tide come up and touch my feet from within my sandals. Maybe if the waters swallowed me up. I toss my shoes and sweatshirt to the side and step foward. I large wave almost knocks me backwards. I'll become a wave... Come in and out... But when I'm a wave, maybe someone... will notice me. I close my eyes. I'll just let the waves take me...
"Quistis!" Dammit. Leave me alone... The water is up to my knees now. I don't turn. I know it's Seifer.
"Quistis?!" Go AWAY. The tide was rising faster. Hurry... I don't want to have to turn and face him. I've been hurt too many times. Too many times. I got myself into this world of love... I'll get myself out.
"Quistis! What are you doing?!" I don't answer. I don't want to talk to you. I feel two arms tighten around my waist. I don't fight them. I just let them do whatever. I'm out of the water and I can feel my wet toes touch the dry sand. I stand up on my own and glare at Seifer, who looks at me, bewildered.
"...Why? I don't want you here."
"Quistis, what in Hyne's name are you doing?" What AM I doing?
"...I'm leaving."
"No...! Stop it..." He clutches my upper arms. I look towards the ground. I can't look at him. Not with that pleading look in his eyes... No...
"Seifer..." I manage. He hugs me. "Stop it... please..." I say, unable to take it. He holds me tighter.
"Seifer, stop it... please?"
"No, Quistis... You've started something and now I can't stop. You're first priority now... Oh Hyne, Quistis, I'll hold you, when you need it." The words are so tempting to believe... Seifer, stop this... I can't take anymore.
"No, Seifer. Stop it... I can't..." I pull away from him and shake my head.
"...Please, Quistis, trust me..." I can't trust you... I can't TRUST YOU!
"...I can't. I'd like to, and I've tried to, but I CAN'T!" I feel tears forming in my eyes. Seifer forked a hand through his hair in defeat.
"...Hyne dammit, Quistis... you'll never now how much I love you... I didn't either... until now." Seifer stepped toward me and pressed his lips to mine. No, Seifer, please don't kiss me... I can't deal with this... I can't contain my emotions and longer, so I start to kiss him back. No, Seifer. No, I don't want to... He continues to work his lips over mine, as I feel like I will collapse. Too much. No, Seifer, stop it... please? I hold on to him, for support. I feel a dizzy feeling wash over me as the sun rises, and reveals his face, which is covered in tears.
"Seifer..." I say, finally finding myself able to break away. Maybe he does love me... first best... No, Quistis, don't fall for this again... Don't.
"Quistis I need you..." No... Don't say this kind of thing Seifer... please don't. He kisses me again, and I can feel his hand on my hip, slowly moving up the side of my stomach, under my small shirt. It feels odd, to have his cold hand on my bare skin. Seifer... My mind wants me to tell him to stop it, but my heart continues to kiss him. My feelings are torn, and my heart won't hold back.
"Seifer, please, I don't... want to get hurt again..."
"...You won't..."
"I can't be sure, Seifer..."
"Please trust me...?" Oh, how I wanted to say yes, I do... but something inside me... told me not to.
"I don't know... Oh, Seifer... I want to trust you... I just..."
"...What can I do to prove this to you?" Prove it? You really want to prove this? I don't say anything, so he starts to kiss me again. Let him... I'm beginning to trust... Oh, Hyne, why trust...?
"...I, I trust you, Seifer." I said it... And I could feel him start to kiss me deeper. I do trust you, Seifer... I do love you, Seifer... I'm just afraid that you don't feel them back...
"Quistis..." All of my questions were answered as we fell back onto the sand.
End Chapter.
-Her-
I opened the door to my dorm and slammed it behind me.
Tossing my sweatshirt hapharzardly on the floor, I sigh, and plop on my bed, kicking off my sandals. Damn you, Seifer. Just second best. Use me, for help, but then when Rinoa...comes...along... I yawn and slowly fall asleep.
When I wake up, its around 4 am. I don't care. I believed you Seifer... I thought you really, truly loved me.
"Dammit...!" I mutter, sitting up.
"Hey..."
"Seifer? Go away... Breaking and entering is a crime, you know..." Seifer, what the hell are you doing here? Leave me alone.
"Its just your dorm."
"Keyword being MINE."
"Oh, come on, Quistis."
"Well, what are you doing here...?"
"I wanted to apologize... I mean, she was hurting..." I stand up, not caring that I'm only dressed in a skimpy tank top and shorts.
"And... you said you loved me. Yeah, right."
"I do..."
"Sure, okay, then you do! But only second best! I won't tolerate second best. Its not worth it..."
"Quistis, you aren't second best..."
"Shut up, Seifer! Don't lie to me. I don't want it! ...I am second best! I always will be! I KNOW that, and I'll deal with it! But DON'T YOU LIE! Dammit..."
"...Quistis..."
"LEAVE!" I point to the door. My voice is shaky and loud. I want him out, and I NEVER want to see him, or anyone else again... Maybe he had the right idea with the sleeping pills... I see Seifer walk out the door silently. I don't want... to live... Seifer and I are alike. We belong together... second best. Him and Rinoa... I guess they were meant to be together... Now, if my memory serves me correct, I should have some sleeping pills in my cabinet. No... I can't do this... Or, whats the point... of living? Dammit, Quistis, you're thinking crazy. Stop it... Where is my life going? No where. I need to stop this thinking! I have a life ahead of me... whether it be lonely or not... But I don't want to be lonely... Seifer... Why did I believe you...? You're Seifer, I'm not supposed to believe you... but I did. And I loved you back. What a fool, I am...
I plopped back on my bed, and sighed. I didn't sleep at all. I stayed in my dorm all day the next day, and Rinoa was probably with Seifer in his... Hah, I don't even want to think about what they were doing. Damn you, Rinoa, you get it all.
I glanced at myself in the mirror. I looked awful. My hair was out of place, and I had light grey circles under my eyes. I sipped some coffee, thankful I had some stashed away, and looked at the clock. Midnight. No one should be around. So, I decided to go for a walk. I pulled on my blue sweatshirt from off the floor, and slipped on my sandals. Hyne, I really hope no one's around. I'd hate for anyone to see me like this. I sigh, and walk past Seifer's dorm. No noises. He's probably just quiet. I giggle softly to myself, and walk along further. I pass Rinoa's dorm. Silence. She's with Seifer. I sigh and gaze out the large dormitory hall window, hoping the moonlight will guide me... but it doesn't. The moon just hides behind the clouds. Am I that bad...? Thats when I hear it. From right across the hall.
"Rinoaaa!" ...Squall? Its coming from Squall's dorm! So... they got back together. Hmm, I guess Rinoa will go for anyone. Doesn't matter though, Seifer proved last night that he would have Rinoa over me... I won't be second best...
"Quistis!" I turn. Seifer... My eyes narrow. " I knew I'd find you here!"
"You did... How so?"
"Okay, so, uh, maybe I was looking all over for you, but that doesn't matter, right?"
"...Mhm..." I mutter.
"Squaaaaaallllll!" A muffled voice says from across the hall.
"Uh, can we go somewhere else and talk?" Seifer asks, looking rather uncomfortable.
"Sure... whatever. Where?"
"My dorm..." I follow him slowly. We arrive at his dorm, and he tells me to take a seat. I do.
"So, uh, what did you want again?" I ask.
"Rinoa..." He opens his mouth to continue, but its so tempting to interupt.
"I asked WHAT you wanted, not WHO." I say, rasing my eyebrows.
"Quis-tis!" I smile slyly.
"Go on."
"Well, it was just an instinct, but, then I looked up and you were gone. I sent her to my dorm, and told her to wait there for me... I went after you, Quistis, but when I got there, you were asleep... Oh, Quistis, I'm sorry."
"Not as sorry as I am... for only able to be second best, Seifer. You don't know how much I wanted for someone to love me... and hold me... but not when they are unhappy with the only thing they could get! ...Your instincts... they told you, Rinoa, so you held her, and you tried to comfort her... You don't just try to comfort anyone..." I stand up. "You weren't so welcoming to me that night in the training center... You'd only hold Rinoa if she came running up to you! And you know that too..." I look down at him. I can see I've gotten him. I guess... there is no hope for me, if not even Seifer Almasy can counter my words. Might as well finish it.
"So, I bid you farewell, Seifer Almasy. Maybe, just maybe I'll see you again."
"Where are you going?"
"To a place faraway from here... Away from my past, future, and present. Because, I'm very sick of asking 'what about me?' every single day, of my life!" I turn and exit his dorm. I don't bother to get the things from my dorm, I just walk out the exit of Balamb, in shorts, and a SeeD sweatshirt. The brisk night air makes me shiver, but maybe I deserve it. I run through the feilds of Balamb, wondering were I'm going... To the sea? I walk toward the water's edge. I can see the moon. It has started to set. I let the tide come up and touch my feet from within my sandals. Maybe if the waters swallowed me up. I toss my shoes and sweatshirt to the side and step foward. I large wave almost knocks me backwards. I'll become a wave... Come in and out... But when I'm a wave, maybe someone... will notice me. I close my eyes. I'll just let the waves take me...
"Quistis!" Dammit. Leave me alone... The water is up to my knees now. I don't turn. I know it's Seifer.
"Quistis?!" Go AWAY. The tide was rising faster. Hurry... I don't want to have to turn and face him. I've been hurt too many times. Too many times. I got myself into this world of love... I'll get myself out.
"Quistis! What are you doing?!" I don't answer. I don't want to talk to you. I feel two arms tighten around my waist. I don't fight them. I just let them do whatever. I'm out of the water and I can feel my wet toes touch the dry sand. I stand up on my own and glare at Seifer, who looks at me, bewildered.
"...Why? I don't want you here."
"Quistis, what in Hyne's name are you doing?" What AM I doing?
"...I'm leaving."
"No...! Stop it..." He clutches my upper arms. I look towards the ground. I can't look at him. Not with that pleading look in his eyes... No...
"Seifer..." I manage. He hugs me. "Stop it... please..." I say, unable to take it. He holds me tighter.
"Seifer, stop it... please?"
"No, Quistis... You've started something and now I can't stop. You're first priority now... Oh Hyne, Quistis, I'll hold you, when you need it." The words are so tempting to believe... Seifer, stop this... I can't take anymore.
"No, Seifer. Stop it... I can't..." I pull away from him and shake my head.
"...Please, Quistis, trust me..." I can't trust you... I can't TRUST YOU!
"...I can't. I'd like to, and I've tried to, but I CAN'T!" I feel tears forming in my eyes. Seifer forked a hand through his hair in defeat.
"...Hyne dammit, Quistis... you'll never now how much I love you... I didn't either... until now." Seifer stepped toward me and pressed his lips to mine. No, Seifer, please don't kiss me... I can't deal with this... I can't contain my emotions and longer, so I start to kiss him back. No, Seifer. No, I don't want to... He continues to work his lips over mine, as I feel like I will collapse. Too much. No, Seifer, stop it... please? I hold on to him, for support. I feel a dizzy feeling wash over me as the sun rises, and reveals his face, which is covered in tears.
"Seifer..." I say, finally finding myself able to break away. Maybe he does love me... first best... No, Quistis, don't fall for this again... Don't.
"Quistis I need you..." No... Don't say this kind of thing Seifer... please don't. He kisses me again, and I can feel his hand on my hip, slowly moving up the side of my stomach, under my small shirt. It feels odd, to have his cold hand on my bare skin. Seifer... My mind wants me to tell him to stop it, but my heart continues to kiss him. My feelings are torn, and my heart won't hold back.
"Seifer, please, I don't... want to get hurt again..."
"...You won't..."
"I can't be sure, Seifer..."
"Please trust me...?" Oh, how I wanted to say yes, I do... but something inside me... told me not to.
"I don't know... Oh, Seifer... I want to trust you... I just..."
"...What can I do to prove this to you?" Prove it? You really want to prove this? I don't say anything, so he starts to kiss me again. Let him... I'm beginning to trust... Oh, Hyne, why trust...?
"...I, I trust you, Seifer." I said it... And I could feel him start to kiss me deeper. I do trust you, Seifer... I do love you, Seifer... I'm just afraid that you don't feel them back...
"Quistis..." All of my questions were answered as we fell back onto the sand.
End Chapter.