Chapter Five: Voulez-Vous Coucher Avec Moi ce Soir?
I awake the next morning at around ten with an odd feeling in my stomach, like I've forgotten something very important. At once I remember the strange predicament involving my movie-land guest, quickly shower and dress, and descend the stairs, following the sound of cartoons. When I enter the family room, the first thing I see are two tanned, bare legs in the air, and upon closer inspection I see that Mush is lying on his stomach in front of the television, his rapt gaze fixed on the Powerpuff Girls.
"I see you've gotten the hang of the TV," I say wryly. Mush jumps up, startled, and blushes, switching off the television.
"I just wanted to see what's on," he explained, following me into the kitchen where I starting making myself cheese blintzes. "Dat thing's amazing!" Mush begins mulling around the kitchen, looking meaningfully at the closet until I realize that I am going to have to make him breakfast. Boys are so unbelievably lazy. We chat while I fix Mush some scrambled eggs and cereal (he's still bugging me about Lucky Charms) and he starts asking me questions about myself.
"Well," I begin hesitantly, not sure where to begin, "I just finished my first year of college..."
"You go to a college?" he asks, surprised.
"Yeah, what about it?"
"Well, nothin," he says, playing with the table cloth, "I just didn't think most girls went to college. I mean, shouldn't you be lookin' for a husband or somethin' like dat?"
The ominous glare I give Mush sends the message that any number of words could have expressed, and he mutters something about not meaning any offense, but I disregard him and continue.
"I go to college," I say again with much emphasis, "in Ohio, but I grew up here in California. I study music and classics," I notice his confused look and quickly explain, "which is the study of ancient Greece and Rome." He doesn't look any less confused, but I figure it really doesn't matter. "I play piano, I like watching movies and listening to classical music..." I trail off, suddenly realizing just how boring my life is. Mush is watching with eyebrows raised, as if waiting for me to continue. But I have nothing more to say.
This awkward pause is broken mercifully by the ringing of the telephone. Mush jumps almost imperceptibly, but I catch it and smirk at him as I walk over and grab the cordless.
"Hello?" I say as Mush seethes.
"Bicca!" comes the voice on the other line.
"Erin! What's up, loser?" I say jokingly to my best friend.
"Omigaw," she gushes, "I haven't seen you in soooo long!"
"I know, it must be...two days!"
"We have to do something today," she says. "Carl was supposed to call me but of course he didn't! Sheesh, what is it with boys?"
I roll my eyes and smile to myself. Erin and Carl, two of my best friends, have been going out all summer and only recently have I begun to learn the details of their relationship. "I don't know why you bother," I say, watching in amusement as Mush continues to wolf down cereal. I swear, the boy is like a trash compactor. "You know I like Carl, but boys are seriously not worth it."
"I know, I know," she says, but I know she doesn't mean it. Carl is her first boyfriend, and unlike me, she hasn't yet learned the horrible truth about boys...
"They all suck," we say at the same time, and then burst out giggling. Mush stops eating for a moment, gives me a funny look, and then continues inhaling his breakfast.
"Look, Erin, there's something I have to talk to you about," I say, taking the phone into the other room and sitting down on the piano bench. "Something very strange happened the other day and, uh," I fumble for the right words. "You're not going to believe it." I begin playing absently on the high register of the piano like I do when I'm nervous.
"Oh my God," she says. "You hooked up with that cute bag boy at Safeway!"
"Oh Erin," I say with a sigh, but I can't help but laugh. This is so like us. "This is a lot more serious than that." Erin stops giggling immediately as I begin to explain in hushed tones so that Mush won't hear me. A couple minutes later, there is silence on the other end of the line as I've finished talking and wait for Erin's response. Finally, it comes.
"You're joking, right?"
Sigh. "No, Erin, I'm not joking. I know this sounds crazy, and I don't understand it either..."
"I knew you were getting way too obsessed with that movie!" she exclaims, suddenly sounding panicked. "I've seen you get obsessions like this before, but I knew this one would go too far! I knew that..."
"My God, calm down, Erin!" I say loudly, and then immediately quiet my voice. "If you're been worrying that something like this would happen, I'd say you're the crazy one." Before she can start protesting, I continue. "Please, you have to help me! I swear to you that somehow, this kid popped out of the movie and ended up in my back yard! I don't know why or how, but it happened."
"But Reb, that's not possible!" she says in a small voice.
"I know it isn't. But it's no use to dwell on that because whether or not it's possible, it happened. I mean, we never thought that a vegetable would be elected president, but do we sit around denying that it happened?" Erin snorts. "Okay, maybe that's not the best analogy. But please, you have to help me," I plead. After a moment, I hear Erin sigh.
"All right," she says. "Do you want me to come over?"
"Yeah, come over whenever you can. We'll figure out something to do with him. It's hard trying to entertain him on my own! Oh, but one thing," I say, moving even farther away from the kitchen. "You can't say ANYTHING about the movie."
"Why not?"
"Because he doesn't know that he's not real!"
"Wait a minute, are you telling me you're not going to tell him?" Erin asks incredulously.
"Well, obviously if worst comes to worst I'll tell him eventually," I whisper, "but, I mean think about it! How would you feel if someone told you that you weren't a real person? That you were just a character in a children's movie?" A short pause.
"Well, I guess I'd think it sucked."
"Yeah, you'd think it sucked a lot. I can't just say, 'Hey Mush, guess what! You're not a real person!' It would be terrible! I have to see if I can get him back without him knowing the truth."
"Yeah," Erin says doubtfully, "I suppose you're right. But still, it doesn't seem very nice to lie to him."
"I'm not lying!" I say, scandalized. "I'm just...improving the truth!"
********************
"So Mush, is there electricity where, er, when you come from?" Erin asks awkwardly, turning around in the front seat of the car as we drive downtown to face the time-traveler. Being the only guy in the group, Mush is automatically assigned to the back seat.
"Yeah, there is," he replies, "but it's still new. We don't got it at the lodge. Light switches an' telephones, they's, uh, they're for rich people."
"Wow," says Erin. She's taken quite a shine to Mush, and the two of them have been talking nonstop since we left the house. Erin has been my best friend since the beginning of high school, and though sometimes we act as though we are connected telepathically, we look and act as different as night and day. She is a cute, athletic but petite girl with thick, dark blonde hair and light blue eyes, whereas I am a little taller, full-figured with long, dark brown hair, eyes to match, and very fair skin. She tends to be quiet and reserved, whereas I have trouble keeping from saying whatever is on my mind, however inappropriate it may be. "What about cars?" she asks eagerly.
While they talk, I think about my conversation with Erin. It's true that what I'm doing is lying to Mush. I am of a nature that makes it nearly impossible to lie--I'm practically incapable of doing so unless concealment is absolutely imperative. And in this case, I tell myself, the fact that I've been able to hide the truth for so long must be a sign that it is necessary to lie. But it still isn't easy. All I can do is hope that I can get Mush back where he belongs before it becomes necessary to tell him, or before he finds out on his own.
It hadn't occurred to me before now that it is possible that he could find out by accident. He could be recognized by a Newsies fan we pass on the street (hey, they're out there!), or the movie could even come on TV while he's channel surfing. Any number of circumstances could alert him to the truth, and as I pull into a parking spot and begin to think about the throngs of people we're about the see, I am suddenly extremely worried.
But it turns out that my worries have all been for nothing. Like the last time we went downtown, no one seems to give Mush a second thought, and of course people don't exactly tend to walk around talking about a nine-year-old Disney musical. Erin and I take Mush to Nordstroms, where we buy him a pair of sunglasses. While standing in line at Starbucks, Mush continues to ogle long-legged, short skirt wearing teenage girls, who notice him staring and start giggling profusely, shooting him flirty glances.
"When'll goils start dressin' like that?" he asks in an awed voice. "I mean, what year?"
"What, the short skirts?" I say. "Not until the 1960's, I'd say."
"1960's???" he says in disbelief. "But...I'll be dead by then!" A man walking by shoots Mush a very concerned glance, as though Mush had just sprouted a second head. Erin and I both laugh and Mush looks put out, but we continue to wander around the plaza, Erin and I watching out for the occasional cute guy, and Mush trying desperately not to stare at every girl who walks by. When we pass one shop in particular, I stop and point excitedly at the window display.
"Ohhh!" I squeal, "that looks like sooo much fun!" My companions stop and look where I'm pointing.
"Build-a-Bear Woikshop?" Mush asks, obviously confused. "What's this?"
"It's a store where you can make your own teddy bear," Erin explains, but Mush still doesn't understand.
"Teddy bear?" he repeats, completely bewildered.
"Oh of course! He doesn't know what a teddy bear is because they hadn't been invented in 1899!" I say, to both Erin's and Mush's surprise.
"They hadn't?" asks Erin.
"What's a teddy bear?"
"They won't even be invented until Teddy Roosevelt becomes president!" I say, feeling very smart.
"Teddy Roosevelt becomes president?" With a quick smile at each other, Erin and I each take one of Mush's arms and begin to lead him away from the store while we give him a quick history lesson.
********************
Later that evening, Erin, Mush, and I are having such a good time that we decide to go out to a movie. However, choosing a movie proves to be rather difficult.
"What's a good movie that Mush'll understand well enough that we don't have to explain it all to him?" I say as we search through the movie guide.
"How about A.I.?" suggests Erin.
"A futuristic robot movie?"
"Oh. Right. Never mind."
"Ooh, Scary Movie II," I say. Erin and I look at each and after a moment, we both burst out laughing. There is no further discussion on the subject. After several more minutes, I have a stroke of genius.
"How about Moulin Rouge!" Erin looks skeptical.
"But it has modern music," she says.
"That doesn't matter, Mush has listened to lots of music. And it takes place in 1899! That's perfect!" Finally we agree and a half an hour later we are back in the car and driving towards the movie theatre. It turns out to have been a pretty good choice. Mush enjoys the movie a lot, especially the songs. I have to admit, however, that while Erin was worried that he wouldn't know the songs, I didn't know many of them myself. And, I think to myself as we exit the theatre, this version of 1899 is probably much closer to the squeaky-clean, fantastical Disney 1899 in Newsies than any realistic movie taking place in the same time period.
We are all exhausted by the time we get home, even Mush, though he won't stop singing "Roxanne".
"How does he memorize songs so quickly?" Erin asks in amazement as Mush and I stumble out of the car upon reaching my house. I shrug, not about to mention anything about musicals while he is around. We say our goodbyes and I quickly mention Holly's party, which Erin is of course is planning on attending, as will Carl. I promise to call Erin tomorrow. While Mush is walking towards the door, I quickly lean across the seat and whisper, "Thanks a lot!" Erin gives me a thumbs up in return, and we say goodnight.