Chapter Three: Peacemaking
The dawn came and went. It was a very pretty dawn like every other dawn but it was a dawn that Lina, Gourry, Amelia
and Zel missed.
Around ten o'clock, Zel stirred. Actually "stirred" is an understatement. He took exactly 1.234567 seconds to open
his eyes, rub his eyes, yawn and spring out of bed. When he was sprung, he looked around.
"Oh, it wasn't a dream," he thought. He was still in this strange place with Papa and Mama nowhere in sight. He
looked at the strangers.
Big Guy was snoring and his arm was dangling off the bed. He was laying on his back and his tongue was hanging out.
Red had her right arm draped over Big Guy's upper chest area with her left arm holding the pillow. She was drooling. Lady was
curled up in a fetal position and murmured words in her sleep, usually "Justice", "Victory", "Evil-doer" and "Zelgadis".
Zel actually jumped whenever she said his name, thinking she was awake. Sure, Big Guy could sing a song but that
didn't mean they weren't strangers. And who knew what evil plots they had in store for him.
And he wanted his Mama!
His mama had magic and stuff. She'd... do that spell... that has something to do... with... that guy... with the all
the siblings... no, wait, he was split into... seven?... yeah... that sounded good... parts.
WHATEVER! It didn't matter. She would do it and they would... not be here any more. Or something.
He sighed. He felt so alone. He didn't even have any of his friends. Brian would've thought of something by now. Or
maybe Michelle, she's really smart.
But no one was here. He was on a solo mission. Against the enemy. Who couldn't understand a word he was saying. He
sighed.
He looked at the bed again. Everyone was out of order. It was so untidy! He had to fix it. It was bugging him. He
crawled on to the bed. He moved Big Guy's arm so it didn't dangle. He flipped it over so that the arm was resting along his
chest. Unfortunately for Big Guy, his arm was so long that his arm rested on Red's chest also.
Zel didn't give it a second thought.
He moved Red's left arm from its original position and placed it under Big Guy's neck. Then he placed her legs
between Big Guy's legs, which he had also straightened.
He got off the bed to admire his work. But something wasn't right.
Ah! The heads. Total disorder. It's the finer details that can kill you in the end, that's what Grandpapa always
said! He wouldn't let this finer detail slide.
He hopped on the bed again and then adjusted the heads. He shut Red's mouth and placed her head on Big Guy's chest.
Second, he shut Big Guy's mouth. Next, he flipped Big Guy's head over so he faced Lady and Red. Unfortunately, Big Guy's
lips touched Red's scalp.
Zel thought nothing of it.
Pleased with his work, he sat at the work table. It was covered with papers and ink. He decided to doodle.
*** ***
It was 11 o'clock and none of the travelers had checked out. Mrs. Applebaggus wouldn't stand for this. This counted
as another day.
"Those stupid ragamuffins, trying to cheat me out of house and home! They think they don't have to pay for an extra
day, ha! Who's first?" She looked at her guest book, "Zelgadis Greywords. By Cephied, why can't kids have normal names like
in the old days? Why, it's not a name, it's a bunch of letters! His parents should've never bred! I bet he just like them,
my goodness, what a ghastly creature. He should be locked up..."
Okay, I'm not going to bore you to death with her rant. Mrs. Applebaggus was a sad woman, because of which her dear
Mr. Applebaggus having left the mortal plane not too long ago. Besides, her rant would take an entire chapter on itself so I
cut to the ending.
"... And if I was a princess, I wouldn't wear my hair like that, no siree, kids these days, when I was her age, I
was... Oh, here's his room." She knocked on Zel's room door.
*** ***
Zel heard the knocking. He wondered if he should answer it, since he wasn't allowed at home. "Only adults answer the
door," they always said. He looked at his respective adults. Big Guy snored, Red drooled and Lady murmured in response.
She knocked again and called, "Mr. Greywords! Mr. Zelgadis Greywords! I need to discuss your bill!" Hm... she was
calling him. Is it alright to answer the door if the knocker is specially calling for you?
He decided it was alright. He went up to the door... then realized that he was too short to reach to the knob. He got
on tiptoes and pushed the knob in the correct direction and got the door open.
At first, he was frightened. This was the biggest woman he had ever seen. She didn't see him, then she looked down.
*** ***
"Gods, he cloned himself!" She thought. Well, A little version of himself. She decided it was silly and probably
some kid that had traveled with the group. Perhaps she had not seen him. She bent down, "Could you tell me where
Mr. Greywords is?" The boy nodded but made no other movement to fetch him. "Could you get him for me?"
"Ereh thgir ma i."
"Pardon?"
"Ereh thgir ma i."
She was getting really impatient with this brat, "Listen, you, I need to talk to Zelgadis Greywords and I have no
time for gibberish! Where is he?"
The boy sighed, "Tnaw uoy od tahw?"
"WHERE IS HE?!"
"Ohw?"
"I'm coming in."
*** ***
Adults are weird. He was right here, so what did she want? The woman pushed through the door and nearly toppled him.
Lady picked up her head.
*** ***
The noise woke her up. Amelia sat straight up when Mrs. Applebaggus looked at her.
"Where is Zelgadis Greywords?"
"In his room probably."
"THIS IS HIS ROOM!" Amelia looked around. Indeed, it was his room. What was she doing in his room? Oh yeah, the
suicide note and the winged woman and the screaming woman in the mirror and the...
OH NO! Zel was a child! She spotted Zel, who was right behind Mrs. Applebaggus, repeating over and over, "Ereh thgir
ma i. Tnaw uoy od tahw?"
"And tell that child to speak like a human being!" Mrs. Applebaggus screamed.
"Master Zelgadis, will you please be quiet?"
"Sredro em evig ton nac uoy. Amam ym ton era uoy," he snapped back. She didn't know whether or not he had agreed or
whether or not he had made a rude comment.
"Did you just call him Zelgadis?"
"Yes, madam, I did."
"But that's not Zelgadis Greywords!"
"But, it is him. He has been turned into a child."
"That's impossible. No one can grow down!"
Amelia put her face in her hands, "I don't know how it was done either but that is the way it is."
"Well, how is a child supposed to pay the rest of his bill?"
"The rest? He paid in full."
"That's where you're wrong. You've stayed here for two days."
"Two days? What day is it?"
"Tuesday."
"But yesterday was Monday!"
"That's right. But it's 11 o'clock and you haven't checked out yet and if you stay past 10, it counts as another day.
You all owe me for another day." Mrs. Applebaggus puffed up, proud, "You can pay when you all check out." And with that, she
left the room.
Amelia moaned. She still felt tired. She looked at Zelgadis, who was going back to doodle.
"It's your fault, you know," She got up, "You and your angst. Have you ever once considered others' feelings?" Zel
did not respond, "Suicide is the coward's way out. My daddy would've never attempted it, even though a lot worse things
happened to him. He had dignity. How were you going to do it anyway?"
That's when she spied a black bottle. She picked it up. It was labeled, "Weevil Root. Danger: Toxic. Do not ingest."
"That's how, huh? Drown your sorrows. See if I care." She throw the bottle out the window. It hit the cobblestone
with a little kilink, where a dog lapped it up and immediately died. "Oops. Sorry doggie!"
She looked back at the bed. There she saw Lina and Gourry in an... erotic position.
Lina stirred, "What time is it?"
"It's 11 o'clock, Miss Lina."
"Oh... we have to pay for another day, don't we?"
"Yeah," she paused, "um... when we channeled our motherly instincts, did you feel the desire to procreate?"
"No."
"Then why are you and Mister Gourry in that position?" Lina looked around her and screeched. Then she punched Gourry
in the nose so hard that he hit the wall next to the work desk. The desk rattled.
"Ti pots! Pu ssem em edam uoy. Ti pots!" Zel cried.
"Ooww, what did you hit me for?" Gourry moaned, trying to decide whether to hold his nose or his head.
"You pervert! Wait til Lina's asleep and make your move, is that your game? Huh? Answer me!"
"Lina! I don't know what you're talking about and even if I wanted to 'make a move', as you put it, there is no way
I could've done it last night since I was too dog tired after running around after 'Psycho Baby Zel' for an hour and then
having to sing him to sleep so I can finally get some sleep and then not only that, you guys have to interrogate me on how I
could calm Mister Psycho Child down. And not only that but then Lina kicks me about five thousand times during the night so
it's really hard to get comfortable and Amelia has to talk in her sleep which is really annoying! And has it EVER occurred
to you that MAYBE, just MAYBE, I just ROLLED over? That I rolled over in that position that you just punched me about? And
did you have to punch me? Couldn't have you just tapped me and said, 'Hey, Gourry, your position is making me uncomfortable,
could you please move?' and I would've moved. Really! I'm not a sicko pervert who does sicko perverted things on purpose. I
don't touch your non-existent breasts, don't interrupt, it's true, during your flying thingy spell because I like to, I touch
them so I don't fall to my death. And another thing, the reason I panic during that flying thingy spell is I am afraid of
heights! Okay? Guys can have phobias, too, alright? And I can wake up one morning and have my body not be harmed in any way
before dinner? Is this, like, impossible for you to do?" Gourry took a breath and screamed, "And could one of you sorceresses
heal my nose because I think it's broken!"
Amelia rushed over and started a healing spell on his nose while Lina said, "Whoa. Where did that come from?
Gourry, I'm really sorry."
"It's okay. I'm just really tired and I'm in a bad mood today," Gourry wanted to say more but he felt he had said
enough for the time being.
He looked up at the Little Zel. He then panicked. Zel's eyes were brimming up with tears.
"Uh oh. I think I scared him," he thought. Zel let out a wail.
"What's wrong with him?" Amelia asked Gourry, seeing as he was the expert.
"I think I scared him. Some kids can't handle people arguing, I sure know I was one of them."
"No kidding, Gourry! You scared me!" Lina shouted over the noise, "Calm him down!"
Gourry got up to grab him but Zel leaped out of his chair and into the corner, "Yracs era uoy! Emoh og ot tnaw i!"
"Here we go again," Lina moaned, "Still got chocolates left?"
Gourry sighed, "Even if I did, it wouldn't work now. I frightened him, he probably thinks I'm going to kill him."
"By yelling? What does he think Miss Lina's going to do?" Amelia asked. Lina shot her a look.
"Well, to a child, the world is simple: mean people and nice people. Showing any negative emotion makes you a 'mean'
person..."
"Which is what you basically did by yelling, right?" Amelia mused. Gourry nodded. "So, you can't do anything?" Gourry
shook his head. "So, _I_ have to think of something?"
Both Lina and Gourry nodded. Amelia huffed and knelt down. "Look, Master Zelgadis, we're not going to hurt you. We want to
help you but you have to trust us. If you don't, you'll be stuck here forever and forever."
"Niaga amam ym ees reven lliw i os?" Zel asked, with a worried expression. Amelia didn't have a clue what he said.
"Okay, 50/50 chance that my answer will get him out of there," she thought. Aloud, she answered, "Yes." Zel's eyes widen
like they had never widen in their presence before. Zel all but leaped into Amelia's lap, screaming, "Uoy htiw og lliw i!
Amam my ot em ekat tsuj! Og su tel!" Zel hopped out of Amelia's lap and started jumping up and down, pointing at the door.
"How did you know what he was saying?" Gourry asked.
"I didn't. I guessed," Amelia said, shrugging, "It worked."
"Who's going to pay for Zel's room?" Lina asked. Gourry went deep into thought and turned toward the desk. He opened
the desk and took out Zel's money pouch.
"How...?"
"You room with a guy for a while, you learn his tricks. He's very predictable."
"Gods, who are you and what have you done with Gourry?" Lina asked, completely amazed.
"Well, I'm Gourry and I'm here."
"How do you suddenly know a lot of stuff?"
"Well, uh, most of the situations we were involved in were more of your field so I never got to do anything
really..."
Zel called from the door, "Olleh! Gniog ew era? Olleh!"
"Master Zelgadis is getting impatient, I think we should leave," Amelia suggested. Gourry opened the door and Zel
ran out and forced Gourry to chase and throw him over his shoulder. Zel squirmed and kicked Gourry.
Gourry moaned, "There's gotta be an easier way to keep him in sight..."
"There is."
Gourry noticed Mrs. Applebaggus at the front desk. "There is?"
"Yes, for 5 silver I'll show you." Gourry coughed up the money as Lina and Amelia were descending the stairs. "But
you have to pay for your rooms first."
They groaned and paid up. Mrs. Applebaggus nodded and led them to a back room, "I had three children. A wild bunch.
I tried everything but only thing worked." She paused and looked at them, "Well, who's the guardian?"
"I'm Lina's guardian!" Gourry answered.
"I meant of the child."
Both Lina and Amelia replied, "He is! He is!"
"No, I'm not!"
Lina whispered, "Look, you're the only one with child raising knowledge and you have the strength to keep him in
line! So, agree or I'll kill you!"
Gourry whimpered, "I am the guardian." Mrs. Applebaggus nodded and shuffled through boxes and brought out the kind
of rope that they tie killer horses with.
"You gotta be kidding!" Amelia gasped.
"Just a rope? Come on!" Gourry said.
"It's not 'just a rope', it's the strongest rope around! Nothing stronger! Besides, you already paid so you might as
well use it!"
"You tie down horses with that, not little kids!" Lina protested.
"Esroh a ton ma i!" Zel screamed.
"Okay, we'll take it. How does it work?" Lina asked.
Mrs. Applebaggus pulled Gourry closer to her, "First, you tie one end of the rope around the guardian's waist," she did so,
"then grab the kid and, usually, sedate it but we don't the time. Give me the kid." Gourry gave her Zel. He, of course,
struggled (what else is new?) and resisted but he was tired from a long night of struggling and resisting and soon gave up.
"Then you tie the other end to the child's waist. And that's it! Now, leave!" Mrs. Applebaggus barked and they ran out.
*** ***
When it grew dark, they decided to find an inn.
"Hey, Lina, since we tied Zel up like a horse, can we just leave him in the stables?" Gourry asked.
"Mister Gourry, that's awful!" Amelia pleaded.
"No, what's really awful is forcing me to be tied to some..."
"Oh, give it a rest, Gourry, no matter what you say, in the end, you will be tied to Zel. So deal," Lina snapped.
"It doesn't mean I have to like it," Gourry muttered under his breath.
"But, Mister Gourry, good has come out of this. I believe that we are starting to earn Master Zelgadis' childhood
trust. After a day or two, we won't need to tie him up any more. We have to take baby steps in trust."
"Then why don't you take them?"
"Because... because... I'm special and you're not, that's why."
"'Special'? In what way?"
"I'm a woman. It's in-bred."
Gourry wanted to make some remark but decided it would do more harm than good. He dropped the subject.
*** ***
Zel knew he was making others upset with him. Maybe he should try to make peace with them. They certainly didn't
act like they were going to kill him. Maybe signing would help.
*** ***
Zel tugged at Gourry's pant leg. He turned around and saw Zel pointing at his eye.
"What's the matter with your eye?"
Zel shook his head and pointed to his eye again. "Yeah, that's your eye." Zel nodded.
They were passing a pig farm and he pointed to the pigs and then to the slaughterhouse.
"Yeah, that's a pig farm and that's where they, uh, kill them and the pigs go to a happy place with lots of
flowers..."
"What are you talking about, Gourry?" Lina asked, perplexed.
"Well, Zel keeps pointing to stuff and I'm telling him what he's pointing at." Zel hit his forehead and moaned.
"You got a headache now?"
"On!" Zel cried in frustration. He pointed his eye then to the pig farm slaughterhouse and then clasped his hands
together and bowed.
"I think he's playing 'Charades'," Amelia said.
"Oh, I hate that game!" Lina groaned.
"Let's see," Amelia mused, "See, look, oh, eye! I! Okay, the pig farm slaughterhouse. Uh, Mister Gourry, any ideas?"
"Oh, I stink at this game, sorry," Gourry shrugged. Zel was making a carving motion and then an eating motion,
implying utensils.
"Eat? Kill? No, that wouldn't be carving, that would be hacking. Carve and eat, what do you carve and eat?"
"Turkey?" Lina suggested. Zel shook his head.
"Roast?" Gourry asked. Zel shook his head.
"Pork? No, wait, ham!" Lina thought aloud. Zel nodded.
"'I ham'? Do you mean 'I am'?" Amelia asked. Zel nodded. "I am bowing? I am praying?"
"Sorry?" Gourry asked. Zel clapped his hands and nodded. "Oh, I forgive you. It's okay. As long as you try to be
nicer to us from now on, okay?" Zel nodded, then made an untying motion. "No, I'm not untying you. Nice try."
"I think we should stick together tonight, to keep an eye on him. Besides, it's cheaper," Lina suggested.
"I think I see the town. I'm so hungry!" Gourry started to run, lifting Zel into the air until he was parallel to
the ground.
"Wait for me, Gourry!"
To be continued.
Author's Notes: Just so you know, I hate Charades too. I don't own these characters. Don't sue me. C&C are welcome and
needed at destinyplot@lycos.com. Write to me even if you have nothing to say on the fic, just drop me a line! Hey, I'm so
bored, I'll accept flames! Go ahead, I might write back!
The dawn came and went. It was a very pretty dawn like every other dawn but it was a dawn that Lina, Gourry, Amelia
and Zel missed.
Around ten o'clock, Zel stirred. Actually "stirred" is an understatement. He took exactly 1.234567 seconds to open
his eyes, rub his eyes, yawn and spring out of bed. When he was sprung, he looked around.
"Oh, it wasn't a dream," he thought. He was still in this strange place with Papa and Mama nowhere in sight. He
looked at the strangers.
Big Guy was snoring and his arm was dangling off the bed. He was laying on his back and his tongue was hanging out.
Red had her right arm draped over Big Guy's upper chest area with her left arm holding the pillow. She was drooling. Lady was
curled up in a fetal position and murmured words in her sleep, usually "Justice", "Victory", "Evil-doer" and "Zelgadis".
Zel actually jumped whenever she said his name, thinking she was awake. Sure, Big Guy could sing a song but that
didn't mean they weren't strangers. And who knew what evil plots they had in store for him.
And he wanted his Mama!
His mama had magic and stuff. She'd... do that spell... that has something to do... with... that guy... with the all
the siblings... no, wait, he was split into... seven?... yeah... that sounded good... parts.
WHATEVER! It didn't matter. She would do it and they would... not be here any more. Or something.
He sighed. He felt so alone. He didn't even have any of his friends. Brian would've thought of something by now. Or
maybe Michelle, she's really smart.
But no one was here. He was on a solo mission. Against the enemy. Who couldn't understand a word he was saying. He
sighed.
He looked at the bed again. Everyone was out of order. It was so untidy! He had to fix it. It was bugging him. He
crawled on to the bed. He moved Big Guy's arm so it didn't dangle. He flipped it over so that the arm was resting along his
chest. Unfortunately for Big Guy, his arm was so long that his arm rested on Red's chest also.
Zel didn't give it a second thought.
He moved Red's left arm from its original position and placed it under Big Guy's neck. Then he placed her legs
between Big Guy's legs, which he had also straightened.
He got off the bed to admire his work. But something wasn't right.
Ah! The heads. Total disorder. It's the finer details that can kill you in the end, that's what Grandpapa always
said! He wouldn't let this finer detail slide.
He hopped on the bed again and then adjusted the heads. He shut Red's mouth and placed her head on Big Guy's chest.
Second, he shut Big Guy's mouth. Next, he flipped Big Guy's head over so he faced Lady and Red. Unfortunately, Big Guy's
lips touched Red's scalp.
Zel thought nothing of it.
Pleased with his work, he sat at the work table. It was covered with papers and ink. He decided to doodle.
*** ***
It was 11 o'clock and none of the travelers had checked out. Mrs. Applebaggus wouldn't stand for this. This counted
as another day.
"Those stupid ragamuffins, trying to cheat me out of house and home! They think they don't have to pay for an extra
day, ha! Who's first?" She looked at her guest book, "Zelgadis Greywords. By Cephied, why can't kids have normal names like
in the old days? Why, it's not a name, it's a bunch of letters! His parents should've never bred! I bet he just like them,
my goodness, what a ghastly creature. He should be locked up..."
Okay, I'm not going to bore you to death with her rant. Mrs. Applebaggus was a sad woman, because of which her dear
Mr. Applebaggus having left the mortal plane not too long ago. Besides, her rant would take an entire chapter on itself so I
cut to the ending.
"... And if I was a princess, I wouldn't wear my hair like that, no siree, kids these days, when I was her age, I
was... Oh, here's his room." She knocked on Zel's room door.
*** ***
Zel heard the knocking. He wondered if he should answer it, since he wasn't allowed at home. "Only adults answer the
door," they always said. He looked at his respective adults. Big Guy snored, Red drooled and Lady murmured in response.
She knocked again and called, "Mr. Greywords! Mr. Zelgadis Greywords! I need to discuss your bill!" Hm... she was
calling him. Is it alright to answer the door if the knocker is specially calling for you?
He decided it was alright. He went up to the door... then realized that he was too short to reach to the knob. He got
on tiptoes and pushed the knob in the correct direction and got the door open.
At first, he was frightened. This was the biggest woman he had ever seen. She didn't see him, then she looked down.
*** ***
"Gods, he cloned himself!" She thought. Well, A little version of himself. She decided it was silly and probably
some kid that had traveled with the group. Perhaps she had not seen him. She bent down, "Could you tell me where
Mr. Greywords is?" The boy nodded but made no other movement to fetch him. "Could you get him for me?"
"Ereh thgir ma i."
"Pardon?"
"Ereh thgir ma i."
She was getting really impatient with this brat, "Listen, you, I need to talk to Zelgadis Greywords and I have no
time for gibberish! Where is he?"
The boy sighed, "Tnaw uoy od tahw?"
"WHERE IS HE?!"
"Ohw?"
"I'm coming in."
*** ***
Adults are weird. He was right here, so what did she want? The woman pushed through the door and nearly toppled him.
Lady picked up her head.
*** ***
The noise woke her up. Amelia sat straight up when Mrs. Applebaggus looked at her.
"Where is Zelgadis Greywords?"
"In his room probably."
"THIS IS HIS ROOM!" Amelia looked around. Indeed, it was his room. What was she doing in his room? Oh yeah, the
suicide note and the winged woman and the screaming woman in the mirror and the...
OH NO! Zel was a child! She spotted Zel, who was right behind Mrs. Applebaggus, repeating over and over, "Ereh thgir
ma i. Tnaw uoy od tahw?"
"And tell that child to speak like a human being!" Mrs. Applebaggus screamed.
"Master Zelgadis, will you please be quiet?"
"Sredro em evig ton nac uoy. Amam ym ton era uoy," he snapped back. She didn't know whether or not he had agreed or
whether or not he had made a rude comment.
"Did you just call him Zelgadis?"
"Yes, madam, I did."
"But that's not Zelgadis Greywords!"
"But, it is him. He has been turned into a child."
"That's impossible. No one can grow down!"
Amelia put her face in her hands, "I don't know how it was done either but that is the way it is."
"Well, how is a child supposed to pay the rest of his bill?"
"The rest? He paid in full."
"That's where you're wrong. You've stayed here for two days."
"Two days? What day is it?"
"Tuesday."
"But yesterday was Monday!"
"That's right. But it's 11 o'clock and you haven't checked out yet and if you stay past 10, it counts as another day.
You all owe me for another day." Mrs. Applebaggus puffed up, proud, "You can pay when you all check out." And with that, she
left the room.
Amelia moaned. She still felt tired. She looked at Zelgadis, who was going back to doodle.
"It's your fault, you know," She got up, "You and your angst. Have you ever once considered others' feelings?" Zel
did not respond, "Suicide is the coward's way out. My daddy would've never attempted it, even though a lot worse things
happened to him. He had dignity. How were you going to do it anyway?"
That's when she spied a black bottle. She picked it up. It was labeled, "Weevil Root. Danger: Toxic. Do not ingest."
"That's how, huh? Drown your sorrows. See if I care." She throw the bottle out the window. It hit the cobblestone
with a little kilink, where a dog lapped it up and immediately died. "Oops. Sorry doggie!"
She looked back at the bed. There she saw Lina and Gourry in an... erotic position.
Lina stirred, "What time is it?"
"It's 11 o'clock, Miss Lina."
"Oh... we have to pay for another day, don't we?"
"Yeah," she paused, "um... when we channeled our motherly instincts, did you feel the desire to procreate?"
"No."
"Then why are you and Mister Gourry in that position?" Lina looked around her and screeched. Then she punched Gourry
in the nose so hard that he hit the wall next to the work desk. The desk rattled.
"Ti pots! Pu ssem em edam uoy. Ti pots!" Zel cried.
"Ooww, what did you hit me for?" Gourry moaned, trying to decide whether to hold his nose or his head.
"You pervert! Wait til Lina's asleep and make your move, is that your game? Huh? Answer me!"
"Lina! I don't know what you're talking about and even if I wanted to 'make a move', as you put it, there is no way
I could've done it last night since I was too dog tired after running around after 'Psycho Baby Zel' for an hour and then
having to sing him to sleep so I can finally get some sleep and then not only that, you guys have to interrogate me on how I
could calm Mister Psycho Child down. And not only that but then Lina kicks me about five thousand times during the night so
it's really hard to get comfortable and Amelia has to talk in her sleep which is really annoying! And has it EVER occurred
to you that MAYBE, just MAYBE, I just ROLLED over? That I rolled over in that position that you just punched me about? And
did you have to punch me? Couldn't have you just tapped me and said, 'Hey, Gourry, your position is making me uncomfortable,
could you please move?' and I would've moved. Really! I'm not a sicko pervert who does sicko perverted things on purpose. I
don't touch your non-existent breasts, don't interrupt, it's true, during your flying thingy spell because I like to, I touch
them so I don't fall to my death. And another thing, the reason I panic during that flying thingy spell is I am afraid of
heights! Okay? Guys can have phobias, too, alright? And I can wake up one morning and have my body not be harmed in any way
before dinner? Is this, like, impossible for you to do?" Gourry took a breath and screamed, "And could one of you sorceresses
heal my nose because I think it's broken!"
Amelia rushed over and started a healing spell on his nose while Lina said, "Whoa. Where did that come from?
Gourry, I'm really sorry."
"It's okay. I'm just really tired and I'm in a bad mood today," Gourry wanted to say more but he felt he had said
enough for the time being.
He looked up at the Little Zel. He then panicked. Zel's eyes were brimming up with tears.
"Uh oh. I think I scared him," he thought. Zel let out a wail.
"What's wrong with him?" Amelia asked Gourry, seeing as he was the expert.
"I think I scared him. Some kids can't handle people arguing, I sure know I was one of them."
"No kidding, Gourry! You scared me!" Lina shouted over the noise, "Calm him down!"
Gourry got up to grab him but Zel leaped out of his chair and into the corner, "Yracs era uoy! Emoh og ot tnaw i!"
"Here we go again," Lina moaned, "Still got chocolates left?"
Gourry sighed, "Even if I did, it wouldn't work now. I frightened him, he probably thinks I'm going to kill him."
"By yelling? What does he think Miss Lina's going to do?" Amelia asked. Lina shot her a look.
"Well, to a child, the world is simple: mean people and nice people. Showing any negative emotion makes you a 'mean'
person..."
"Which is what you basically did by yelling, right?" Amelia mused. Gourry nodded. "So, you can't do anything?" Gourry
shook his head. "So, _I_ have to think of something?"
Both Lina and Gourry nodded. Amelia huffed and knelt down. "Look, Master Zelgadis, we're not going to hurt you. We want to
help you but you have to trust us. If you don't, you'll be stuck here forever and forever."
"Niaga amam ym ees reven lliw i os?" Zel asked, with a worried expression. Amelia didn't have a clue what he said.
"Okay, 50/50 chance that my answer will get him out of there," she thought. Aloud, she answered, "Yes." Zel's eyes widen
like they had never widen in their presence before. Zel all but leaped into Amelia's lap, screaming, "Uoy htiw og lliw i!
Amam my ot em ekat tsuj! Og su tel!" Zel hopped out of Amelia's lap and started jumping up and down, pointing at the door.
"How did you know what he was saying?" Gourry asked.
"I didn't. I guessed," Amelia said, shrugging, "It worked."
"Who's going to pay for Zel's room?" Lina asked. Gourry went deep into thought and turned toward the desk. He opened
the desk and took out Zel's money pouch.
"How...?"
"You room with a guy for a while, you learn his tricks. He's very predictable."
"Gods, who are you and what have you done with Gourry?" Lina asked, completely amazed.
"Well, I'm Gourry and I'm here."
"How do you suddenly know a lot of stuff?"
"Well, uh, most of the situations we were involved in were more of your field so I never got to do anything
really..."
Zel called from the door, "Olleh! Gniog ew era? Olleh!"
"Master Zelgadis is getting impatient, I think we should leave," Amelia suggested. Gourry opened the door and Zel
ran out and forced Gourry to chase and throw him over his shoulder. Zel squirmed and kicked Gourry.
Gourry moaned, "There's gotta be an easier way to keep him in sight..."
"There is."
Gourry noticed Mrs. Applebaggus at the front desk. "There is?"
"Yes, for 5 silver I'll show you." Gourry coughed up the money as Lina and Amelia were descending the stairs. "But
you have to pay for your rooms first."
They groaned and paid up. Mrs. Applebaggus nodded and led them to a back room, "I had three children. A wild bunch.
I tried everything but only thing worked." She paused and looked at them, "Well, who's the guardian?"
"I'm Lina's guardian!" Gourry answered.
"I meant of the child."
Both Lina and Amelia replied, "He is! He is!"
"No, I'm not!"
Lina whispered, "Look, you're the only one with child raising knowledge and you have the strength to keep him in
line! So, agree or I'll kill you!"
Gourry whimpered, "I am the guardian." Mrs. Applebaggus nodded and shuffled through boxes and brought out the kind
of rope that they tie killer horses with.
"You gotta be kidding!" Amelia gasped.
"Just a rope? Come on!" Gourry said.
"It's not 'just a rope', it's the strongest rope around! Nothing stronger! Besides, you already paid so you might as
well use it!"
"You tie down horses with that, not little kids!" Lina protested.
"Esroh a ton ma i!" Zel screamed.
"Okay, we'll take it. How does it work?" Lina asked.
Mrs. Applebaggus pulled Gourry closer to her, "First, you tie one end of the rope around the guardian's waist," she did so,
"then grab the kid and, usually, sedate it but we don't the time. Give me the kid." Gourry gave her Zel. He, of course,
struggled (what else is new?) and resisted but he was tired from a long night of struggling and resisting and soon gave up.
"Then you tie the other end to the child's waist. And that's it! Now, leave!" Mrs. Applebaggus barked and they ran out.
*** ***
When it grew dark, they decided to find an inn.
"Hey, Lina, since we tied Zel up like a horse, can we just leave him in the stables?" Gourry asked.
"Mister Gourry, that's awful!" Amelia pleaded.
"No, what's really awful is forcing me to be tied to some..."
"Oh, give it a rest, Gourry, no matter what you say, in the end, you will be tied to Zel. So deal," Lina snapped.
"It doesn't mean I have to like it," Gourry muttered under his breath.
"But, Mister Gourry, good has come out of this. I believe that we are starting to earn Master Zelgadis' childhood
trust. After a day or two, we won't need to tie him up any more. We have to take baby steps in trust."
"Then why don't you take them?"
"Because... because... I'm special and you're not, that's why."
"'Special'? In what way?"
"I'm a woman. It's in-bred."
Gourry wanted to make some remark but decided it would do more harm than good. He dropped the subject.
*** ***
Zel knew he was making others upset with him. Maybe he should try to make peace with them. They certainly didn't
act like they were going to kill him. Maybe signing would help.
*** ***
Zel tugged at Gourry's pant leg. He turned around and saw Zel pointing at his eye.
"What's the matter with your eye?"
Zel shook his head and pointed to his eye again. "Yeah, that's your eye." Zel nodded.
They were passing a pig farm and he pointed to the pigs and then to the slaughterhouse.
"Yeah, that's a pig farm and that's where they, uh, kill them and the pigs go to a happy place with lots of
flowers..."
"What are you talking about, Gourry?" Lina asked, perplexed.
"Well, Zel keeps pointing to stuff and I'm telling him what he's pointing at." Zel hit his forehead and moaned.
"You got a headache now?"
"On!" Zel cried in frustration. He pointed his eye then to the pig farm slaughterhouse and then clasped his hands
together and bowed.
"I think he's playing 'Charades'," Amelia said.
"Oh, I hate that game!" Lina groaned.
"Let's see," Amelia mused, "See, look, oh, eye! I! Okay, the pig farm slaughterhouse. Uh, Mister Gourry, any ideas?"
"Oh, I stink at this game, sorry," Gourry shrugged. Zel was making a carving motion and then an eating motion,
implying utensils.
"Eat? Kill? No, that wouldn't be carving, that would be hacking. Carve and eat, what do you carve and eat?"
"Turkey?" Lina suggested. Zel shook his head.
"Roast?" Gourry asked. Zel shook his head.
"Pork? No, wait, ham!" Lina thought aloud. Zel nodded.
"'I ham'? Do you mean 'I am'?" Amelia asked. Zel nodded. "I am bowing? I am praying?"
"Sorry?" Gourry asked. Zel clapped his hands and nodded. "Oh, I forgive you. It's okay. As long as you try to be
nicer to us from now on, okay?" Zel nodded, then made an untying motion. "No, I'm not untying you. Nice try."
"I think we should stick together tonight, to keep an eye on him. Besides, it's cheaper," Lina suggested.
"I think I see the town. I'm so hungry!" Gourry started to run, lifting Zel into the air until he was parallel to
the ground.
"Wait for me, Gourry!"
To be continued.
Author's Notes: Just so you know, I hate Charades too. I don't own these characters. Don't sue me. C&C are welcome and
needed at destinyplot@lycos.com. Write to me even if you have nothing to say on the fic, just drop me a line! Hey, I'm so
bored, I'll accept flames! Go ahead, I might write back!