Disclaimer: see part 1
Part 2
Asking questions/Word trap
By Random1377
"Maya," Shinji asked, "why do you... like me?"
Maya ducked her head out of the bathroom, blinking as a bit of shampoo dripped into her left eye, "What?" she asked, her tone irritated.
Shinji flushed as he realized that she was naked behind the door, but he pressed forward anyway, "I said why do you like me?"
She wiped her stinging eye, "Can this wait? I'm KIND of in the middle of something."
Shinji nodded, embarrassed. He was still having trouble reconciling the fact that this cagey woman in front of him was the same one that insisted he sleep in her bed every night.
She sighed, "Let me rinse off... I'll be out in a minute."
Shinji fidgeted as he waited. -I don't know if I should be doing this...- he thought, -maybe I should just leave it alone.- But he knew he could not... he simply HAD to know what this gorgeous woman saw in someone like him.
After several minutes he heard the shower turn off, and Maya came into the kitchen wearing a large aqua colored bathrobe. "Why do I like you?" she repeated his question, frowning, "Does it really matter?"
Shinji blinked, "Umm... I don't know... I guess, I-"
"Shinji," she cut him off, "aren't you going to be late for school?"
He looked at the floor, "I can make it if I leave in the next few minutes, and run... but I-"
"Isn't it enough that I DO like you?" she cut him off again, "Why does it have to be analyzed? Can't you just go with it?"
"So you don't want to talk about why we're together?" he said wonderingly.
"No," she said with a shake of her head, "it's enough for me right now that we ARE. I just plan to enjoy every minute... while it lasts..."
The last thought was to herself - barely even a whisper... but Shinji heard it like a clarion.
"Umm... you're right, I should get to school," he said finally, deciding to let the comment go, "I'll see you tonight, k?" He gave her a quick hug and kiss and walked out the door, frowning slightly.
**
As the last bell of the day rang, Asuka stood up quickly and moved to Shinji's desk, "Will you walk home with me today, Shinji?" she said, her voice low, "I need to talk to you about something."
Shinji frowned, "Can it wait until later, Asuka? I've got cleanup duty today," he gestured around the messy room "and as you can see, that may take a while."
She gnawed her lower lip for a moment, "Ok, but will you at least come to Misato's apartment when you're done? I REALLY need to talk to you."
Shinji blinked at the agitation in the girl's voice, "Umm, yeah..." he hadn't noticed the fact that Asuka had said 'Misato's apartment', and not 'home'. If he had noticed he may have asked himself where 'home' was. After his discussion with Maya this morning, he might not have been able to provide a solid answer.
Asuka looked relieved, "Ok... I'll see you after school then."
Shinji nodded, not noticing the intense scrutiny that Rei was giving the exchange from the back of the class.
It took him much of the afternoon to clean the place up. He was supposed to have help, but the kid that was on duty with him had slipped out with the rest of the class, leaving him alone.
He didn't really mind cleaning alone, it gave him a chance to think. -What did Maya mean, 'while it lasts'?- he wondered, frowning, -doesn't she think that what we have is...- his frown deepened. What exactly DID they have? He was suddenly unsure. A diffident cough interrupted his thoughts.
He turned, expecting to find Asuka waiting for him, -She never did have much patience, he thought. Instead of the Second Child he found, "Ayanami, hi!" he said, brightening, "I thought you had gone for the day?"
She shook her head, "I wanted to speak to you." She said plainly, coming into the room and standing in front of him.
-Wow...- he mused, -everyone wants to talk to me today... everyone except Maya.- To Rei he said, "Sure, what's on your mind?"
"Pilot Ikari," she said quietly, "why do you spend your time with Miss Ibuki?"
Shinji was surprised, "I... well, I like her... she's my girlfriend." He said with a certain amount of pride, suppressing the memory of the morning's conversation.
"Is the difference in your ages not a hindrance?" she inquired, tilting her head to the side in curiosity.
"Not really," he said, trying to understand why Rei was asking him this, "since I like her and..." he only paused briefly, but Rei caught it, "she likes me, we don't let something like that get in the way."
"I see," Rei said in her calm voice, "so if you like a person, then you spend time with them, kiss them, and engage in other physical and emotional bonding with them - regardless of what others may think, correct?"
Shinji thought about it, "Yeah, I... guess that sums it up. When you like someone, you want to be closer to them, no matter what."
Rei was nodding, "I understand. May I ask another question?" He nodded, "If a person tells you that they do not like you, do you feel sadness?"
He looked at the floor, "Yes... if I asked someone if they liked me and they said no, I would feel hurt..." He became aware that she was watching him intently, "What is it, Ayanami?"
"Do you like me?" she asked, stepping closer.
Shinji did not like the direction the conversation was headed, and he took a corresponding step back, "Umm..." he felt trapped by his own words, unable to say no for fear of hurting the girl's feelings, but scared to say yes because of how she might take it. He gathered his courage, hoping for the best, "Y-yes, Ayanami, I like you... but-"
She took another step, forcing Shinji up against the wall, "Will you not kiss me, then?"
He swallowed as she drew closer to him, a sense of unreality washing over him at her bold advance, "I don't... think it would be... appropriate, I-"
"Do you love Miss Ibuki?" she whispered, her face now inches from his.
Though they had never strayed from the general topic of relationships, the question still caught him off guard, "I..." He didn't know what to say. -Do I?- he thought. Having never been in love before, he had nothing to compare it to.
Rei asked the next logical question, "Does she love you?" she waited patiently for his response.
He looked down, "I don't... know..." he whispered honestly. He hoped she did - PRAYED that she did... but when it came down to it, he did not know - especially after her whispered comment this morning.
"If there is no love," Rei said quietly, reaching out and laying a hand on his shoulder, "then there is no shame in kissing another..." she paused, "another that may also have love for you."
Shinji's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak, but he never got the chance.
Rei's was a world ruled by logic and reason. At that moment in time, her logic had deduced that the reason she thought of Shinji so often was that he was very appealing to her... and, after their conversation, her reasoning found no just cause for her to not act on her logic.
She placed her other hand on his unoccupied shoulder and took the next logical step...
**
"Misato," Ritsuko spoke thoughtfully, "do you think that Shinji loves Maya, or that she loves him?"
Misato thought about it for a moment, "Yes... I think Shinji loves her," she frowned, "but I don't know what KIND of love it is."
"How do you mean?" the blonde was intrigued.
Misato shrugged, "I don't know if it's just puppy love, the kind of thing that will fade in time, or deep down, honest-to-God, True Love... what do you think?"
It was Ritsuko's turn to shrug, "I think that anyone that risks his life for a girl - not even knowing that she IS in danger - has more than puppy love going on. As for Maya... it's kind of hard to say. I know that she likes him a lot, but that she has a lot of issues that she needs to work through before she would be willing to ADMIT that she loves him."
Misato snapped her fingers, "That's it! That's it exactly!"
"What?" Ritsuko was sure she had missed something.
Misato was smiling, "Look at the way they are together," she dropped her voice, "I don't know why I didn't see it before, they're not just infatuated, they're head over heels! But neither of them will admit it to the other! And since neither one will say it first, they..." she stopped, a shocked, slightly sad expression crossing her face, "I know Shinji, he... needs, certain things. If he thinks she doesn't love him, he might get sad... and-"
Ritsuko picked up the thought, "And if Maya sees him getting sad, she'll think it's her fault, and draw back. They could end up-
They finished together, "Breaking up!" Silence dominated the room for several minutes.
Misato finally spoke up, "We have to watch them both very closely..." she looked at Ritsuko, "we can't try and force them to say it, but if we see them starting to deteriorate we HAVE to step in and patch things up, are you with me?"
Ritsuko hesitated, "I don't think it will come to that. And I'm not sure it's our place to do anything if it does."
"Don't you ever get tired of being so cold?" Misato said, her anger rising, "You see what they have... what they could be, and you won't lift a finger to help them?"
Ritsuko frowned, "I'm not a matchmaker, and I've already encouraged Maya to pursue the relationship to the point where it almost cost lives... I don't think that I owe-"
Misato cut her off with a sigh, "Never mind." She looked at the blonde, "You know, I thought that you were changing. When you stood up to the Commander during the last angel attack, I was proud to call you my friend." She shook her head, "I don't know now..." she dropped her voice to a lower register, "what are you scared of? That they might actually make it work? That they might find something you've never been able to?"
Ritsuko's frown deepened into a scowl, "All I'm saying is that people should be left to their own devices, free to make their own decisions. Of course I would like to see them remain together," she shook her head, "but it's not my place to ENSURE it."
Misato nodded, "I see. Well, even if you won't, I will."
She stood up and stretched, yawning as she walked towards the door. She stopped at the threshold and looked at her long-time friend.
"What?" Ritsuko said archly, "Are you going to lecture me on have love should be given a fighting chance and how it's our duty to enter the fray on its behalf?"
Misato shook her head, holding the blonde's eyes, "No," she said softly, "I was just trying to decide why I couldn't be angry at you about this... and I think it's because I feel sorry for you, Ritsu. You're so scared to let anyone get close to you that even SEEING others get closer makes you uncomfortable." She sighed, "No, I'm not going to lecture you... I'm just going to go do what I think is right, and hope that some day you'll be able to let others get close to you." She opened the door, "Goodnight... don't stay up too late."
As the door slid shut, Ritsuko Akagi said nothing. She just stared at the door with a small frown on her face.
After several minutes of silence she shook herself and went back to work.
Continued...
Author's notes: I don't normally double title chapters like this, but I thought that both titles fit so well I couldn't decide. :)
Thanks to JobFaust for pre-reading.
Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com
Part 2
Asking questions/Word trap
By Random1377
"Maya," Shinji asked, "why do you... like me?"
Maya ducked her head out of the bathroom, blinking as a bit of shampoo dripped into her left eye, "What?" she asked, her tone irritated.
Shinji flushed as he realized that she was naked behind the door, but he pressed forward anyway, "I said why do you like me?"
She wiped her stinging eye, "Can this wait? I'm KIND of in the middle of something."
Shinji nodded, embarrassed. He was still having trouble reconciling the fact that this cagey woman in front of him was the same one that insisted he sleep in her bed every night.
She sighed, "Let me rinse off... I'll be out in a minute."
Shinji fidgeted as he waited. -I don't know if I should be doing this...- he thought, -maybe I should just leave it alone.- But he knew he could not... he simply HAD to know what this gorgeous woman saw in someone like him.
After several minutes he heard the shower turn off, and Maya came into the kitchen wearing a large aqua colored bathrobe. "Why do I like you?" she repeated his question, frowning, "Does it really matter?"
Shinji blinked, "Umm... I don't know... I guess, I-"
"Shinji," she cut him off, "aren't you going to be late for school?"
He looked at the floor, "I can make it if I leave in the next few minutes, and run... but I-"
"Isn't it enough that I DO like you?" she cut him off again, "Why does it have to be analyzed? Can't you just go with it?"
"So you don't want to talk about why we're together?" he said wonderingly.
"No," she said with a shake of her head, "it's enough for me right now that we ARE. I just plan to enjoy every minute... while it lasts..."
The last thought was to herself - barely even a whisper... but Shinji heard it like a clarion.
"Umm... you're right, I should get to school," he said finally, deciding to let the comment go, "I'll see you tonight, k?" He gave her a quick hug and kiss and walked out the door, frowning slightly.
**
As the last bell of the day rang, Asuka stood up quickly and moved to Shinji's desk, "Will you walk home with me today, Shinji?" she said, her voice low, "I need to talk to you about something."
Shinji frowned, "Can it wait until later, Asuka? I've got cleanup duty today," he gestured around the messy room "and as you can see, that may take a while."
She gnawed her lower lip for a moment, "Ok, but will you at least come to Misato's apartment when you're done? I REALLY need to talk to you."
Shinji blinked at the agitation in the girl's voice, "Umm, yeah..." he hadn't noticed the fact that Asuka had said 'Misato's apartment', and not 'home'. If he had noticed he may have asked himself where 'home' was. After his discussion with Maya this morning, he might not have been able to provide a solid answer.
Asuka looked relieved, "Ok... I'll see you after school then."
Shinji nodded, not noticing the intense scrutiny that Rei was giving the exchange from the back of the class.
It took him much of the afternoon to clean the place up. He was supposed to have help, but the kid that was on duty with him had slipped out with the rest of the class, leaving him alone.
He didn't really mind cleaning alone, it gave him a chance to think. -What did Maya mean, 'while it lasts'?- he wondered, frowning, -doesn't she think that what we have is...- his frown deepened. What exactly DID they have? He was suddenly unsure. A diffident cough interrupted his thoughts.
He turned, expecting to find Asuka waiting for him, -She never did have much patience, he thought. Instead of the Second Child he found, "Ayanami, hi!" he said, brightening, "I thought you had gone for the day?"
She shook her head, "I wanted to speak to you." She said plainly, coming into the room and standing in front of him.
-Wow...- he mused, -everyone wants to talk to me today... everyone except Maya.- To Rei he said, "Sure, what's on your mind?"
"Pilot Ikari," she said quietly, "why do you spend your time with Miss Ibuki?"
Shinji was surprised, "I... well, I like her... she's my girlfriend." He said with a certain amount of pride, suppressing the memory of the morning's conversation.
"Is the difference in your ages not a hindrance?" she inquired, tilting her head to the side in curiosity.
"Not really," he said, trying to understand why Rei was asking him this, "since I like her and..." he only paused briefly, but Rei caught it, "she likes me, we don't let something like that get in the way."
"I see," Rei said in her calm voice, "so if you like a person, then you spend time with them, kiss them, and engage in other physical and emotional bonding with them - regardless of what others may think, correct?"
Shinji thought about it, "Yeah, I... guess that sums it up. When you like someone, you want to be closer to them, no matter what."
Rei was nodding, "I understand. May I ask another question?" He nodded, "If a person tells you that they do not like you, do you feel sadness?"
He looked at the floor, "Yes... if I asked someone if they liked me and they said no, I would feel hurt..." He became aware that she was watching him intently, "What is it, Ayanami?"
"Do you like me?" she asked, stepping closer.
Shinji did not like the direction the conversation was headed, and he took a corresponding step back, "Umm..." he felt trapped by his own words, unable to say no for fear of hurting the girl's feelings, but scared to say yes because of how she might take it. He gathered his courage, hoping for the best, "Y-yes, Ayanami, I like you... but-"
She took another step, forcing Shinji up against the wall, "Will you not kiss me, then?"
He swallowed as she drew closer to him, a sense of unreality washing over him at her bold advance, "I don't... think it would be... appropriate, I-"
"Do you love Miss Ibuki?" she whispered, her face now inches from his.
Though they had never strayed from the general topic of relationships, the question still caught him off guard, "I..." He didn't know what to say. -Do I?- he thought. Having never been in love before, he had nothing to compare it to.
Rei asked the next logical question, "Does she love you?" she waited patiently for his response.
He looked down, "I don't... know..." he whispered honestly. He hoped she did - PRAYED that she did... but when it came down to it, he did not know - especially after her whispered comment this morning.
"If there is no love," Rei said quietly, reaching out and laying a hand on his shoulder, "then there is no shame in kissing another..." she paused, "another that may also have love for you."
Shinji's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak, but he never got the chance.
Rei's was a world ruled by logic and reason. At that moment in time, her logic had deduced that the reason she thought of Shinji so often was that he was very appealing to her... and, after their conversation, her reasoning found no just cause for her to not act on her logic.
She placed her other hand on his unoccupied shoulder and took the next logical step...
**
"Misato," Ritsuko spoke thoughtfully, "do you think that Shinji loves Maya, or that she loves him?"
Misato thought about it for a moment, "Yes... I think Shinji loves her," she frowned, "but I don't know what KIND of love it is."
"How do you mean?" the blonde was intrigued.
Misato shrugged, "I don't know if it's just puppy love, the kind of thing that will fade in time, or deep down, honest-to-God, True Love... what do you think?"
It was Ritsuko's turn to shrug, "I think that anyone that risks his life for a girl - not even knowing that she IS in danger - has more than puppy love going on. As for Maya... it's kind of hard to say. I know that she likes him a lot, but that she has a lot of issues that she needs to work through before she would be willing to ADMIT that she loves him."
Misato snapped her fingers, "That's it! That's it exactly!"
"What?" Ritsuko was sure she had missed something.
Misato was smiling, "Look at the way they are together," she dropped her voice, "I don't know why I didn't see it before, they're not just infatuated, they're head over heels! But neither of them will admit it to the other! And since neither one will say it first, they..." she stopped, a shocked, slightly sad expression crossing her face, "I know Shinji, he... needs, certain things. If he thinks she doesn't love him, he might get sad... and-"
Ritsuko picked up the thought, "And if Maya sees him getting sad, she'll think it's her fault, and draw back. They could end up-
They finished together, "Breaking up!" Silence dominated the room for several minutes.
Misato finally spoke up, "We have to watch them both very closely..." she looked at Ritsuko, "we can't try and force them to say it, but if we see them starting to deteriorate we HAVE to step in and patch things up, are you with me?"
Ritsuko hesitated, "I don't think it will come to that. And I'm not sure it's our place to do anything if it does."
"Don't you ever get tired of being so cold?" Misato said, her anger rising, "You see what they have... what they could be, and you won't lift a finger to help them?"
Ritsuko frowned, "I'm not a matchmaker, and I've already encouraged Maya to pursue the relationship to the point where it almost cost lives... I don't think that I owe-"
Misato cut her off with a sigh, "Never mind." She looked at the blonde, "You know, I thought that you were changing. When you stood up to the Commander during the last angel attack, I was proud to call you my friend." She shook her head, "I don't know now..." she dropped her voice to a lower register, "what are you scared of? That they might actually make it work? That they might find something you've never been able to?"
Ritsuko's frown deepened into a scowl, "All I'm saying is that people should be left to their own devices, free to make their own decisions. Of course I would like to see them remain together," she shook her head, "but it's not my place to ENSURE it."
Misato nodded, "I see. Well, even if you won't, I will."
She stood up and stretched, yawning as she walked towards the door. She stopped at the threshold and looked at her long-time friend.
"What?" Ritsuko said archly, "Are you going to lecture me on have love should be given a fighting chance and how it's our duty to enter the fray on its behalf?"
Misato shook her head, holding the blonde's eyes, "No," she said softly, "I was just trying to decide why I couldn't be angry at you about this... and I think it's because I feel sorry for you, Ritsu. You're so scared to let anyone get close to you that even SEEING others get closer makes you uncomfortable." She sighed, "No, I'm not going to lecture you... I'm just going to go do what I think is right, and hope that some day you'll be able to let others get close to you." She opened the door, "Goodnight... don't stay up too late."
As the door slid shut, Ritsuko Akagi said nothing. She just stared at the door with a small frown on her face.
After several minutes of silence she shook herself and went back to work.
Continued...
Author's notes: I don't normally double title chapters like this, but I thought that both titles fit so well I couldn't decide. :)
Thanks to JobFaust for pre-reading.
Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com