Disclaimer: see part 1.
Part 6
Wishes
By Random1377
Shinji's legs dangled over the abyss, but he felt no fear of falling. The wind ruffled his hair as he thought back to the time when he had stood on the edge, so intent on jumping.
He sighed, "Maybe I should have done it then..." he mused, "sure would have saved me a lot of grief."
He lapsed back into silence for a moment, then he became aware of another presence to his left.
"Nice day, isn't it?" a soft voice said, "Not a cloud in the sky... nice breeze... nearly perfect."
He frowned, "Yeah... I guess it is a nice day. At least, it LOOKS like a nice one..." he paused, "but looks can be deceptive, right? You can think things are one way, and be totally wrong."
There was a mutual sigh, "You're right," the soft voice answered, coming closer. Maya stepped to the edge of the canyon and looked down, her arms folded, "you can think that everything is going along just fine, and then find out that someone you care for is hurting so deeply that they can't even talk to you about it."
Shinji cast his eyes to the side, trying to read her... but finally gave up and remained silent.
Maya sighed, "I talked to Rei..." she said conversationally.
Shinji drew his legs up and rested his head on his knees, "Yeah?" he said, "And how did you feel about that?"
"Bad..." Maya admitted, "she told me that she was in love with you."
He took a breath, "Did she tell you that we kissed?" he asked softly, not wanting to lie to himself anymore.
"No..." she admitted, "she didn't..." she looked at him, assessing him, "but I guess I can't really be mad that you kissed her, it's not like we ever said we couldn't see other people..."
He turned to look at her, "Is that... what you want? To see other people?" His voice was infinitely sad.
She looked out into the void, "Do you know what today is?" she asked, changing the subject.
He smiled at her profile, "How could I forget?" He said, standing up and reaching into his pocket.
As he rose, Maya tensed... prepared to grab him should he make any move for the edge. She relaxed as he drew a long, flat box from his pocket and presented it to her. "What is it?" she asked curiously.
He grinned, "Only one way to find out, right? Happy birthday, Maya..." he said. As she took the box, his smile faded, and he turned around to walk away.
She opened the box, not noticing his departure as she stared in wonder at the beautiful silver-bodied dragonfly pendant in the box. It had sparkling emerald eyes and hung by a simple gold chain. She took it out and held it up, marveling at the way the sun shown off of it.
"Shinji... it's..." she couldn't find the words to describe it. She looked up, suddenly aware that he was no longer at her side. She looked over the edge of the precipice first, terrified that she might see his broken body lying at the bottom. Finding nothing of the kind she looked around, finally catching sight of him walking with his head down away from Tokyo-3.
Sprinting, she caught up to him. "Wait..." she gasped, making him stop and turn around. The lost look in his eyes made her regret every unkind word she had ever spoken to him, whither excused by her monthly cycle or not. "This..." she began, holding up the box, "isn't what I want for my birthday..."
He frowned, looking at the box, then at her face... then at the dusty ground at his feet, "I'm sorry..." he whispered, "I thought you would like it and I-"
"I do like it," she said, stepping closer to him, "but it's not what I WANT..."
He looked up, confused, "What do you want, Maya?"
She put her hand on his cheek, "What I want for my birthday..." she said softly, "is to spend the day with my boyfriend... and hear him say those three words that Rei said to him..."
His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off, "Then," she said leaning close to him, "I want him to tell me that he loves me so much that he wants to move in with me. Is that a lot to ask for a birthday wish?" she said, smiling softly.
"No..." he said, carefully drawing her into his arms, "it's not..."
She put on her sternest face, "Well? I'm waiting!"
He grinned, "Maya?" he said, "Can I move in with you?"
"I don't know," she said with a smile, wrapping her arms around his neck, "that's kind of a big step, and I don't know if we're ready to-"
"I love you." He said quietly, stopping her playful diatribe in its tracks, "Can I live with you?"
Though she had asked him to say it, the words still had a profound effect on her, "Yes..." she said, staring into his eyes, "I would like that more than anything. And Shinji?"
"Hmm?" he asked, pulling her closer to him.
"I love you, too..." she whispered, pressing her lips to his for the sweetest, most sincere kiss that she had ever felt...
**
Twisting... coiling... waiting... floating... the being prepared to strike.
It had been sent in this form (as was written) to find the lost one... the Father. It know where he was - it could sense him calling from under the ground... but the time was not yet right to move.
That's one thing the Lillim could never quite understand - EVERYTHING has its place and time.
So it waited... and seethed. If it had thoughts anything close to human, it would have surprised many to know of the sadness in them... the loss, and the pain.
-Father...- it thought, trying to remain patient in it's cocoon, -I will save you Father... as my brothers could not...- it knew that the waiting time was almost done, and the time for action drew nigh... and it longed for it.
-Not ALL is written...- it thought, a small trill of pleasure running through its long form, -we shall prevail! WE shall be the ones to claim the prize!-
That the prize (spoken of by the Father, long before the Separation) was not exactly definable in human terms did not bother the being... it had no use for humans - or their words.
-Pathetic!- It thought, pondering the small creatures that scurried around below it, unaware of the invisible shell of spirit and energy that floated over their city, -Puny things... scrambling around, trying find meaning in their useless little lives... IGNORING the teachings of the All-Father!- It shook with rage at this last thought - there was no worse blasphemy. -They deserve everything that is coming to them...-
Soon... the time would be soon. One more rotation of the Green Mother, and the light of mid-day would reveal it.
Always by day, they came... never by night. Such was their Holy nature.
It was their place to vie with the Lillim... to test them... to break them. It was as HE commanded. None shall claim the prize until they are deemed worthy... none shall reenter Eden until the trials are complete...
-Soon now...- it thought, -soon all shall be reunited... and the blight of these useless creatures will be stripped from Her surface...-
If it had had a face, the being known as Almisael would have smiled at the thought of having its wish fulfilled, and once again seeing its Father...
**
Asuka could not sleep. She tossed and turned on her bed, trying to find a comfortable spot... but sleep would not come to her. She glanced at her clock - it informed her that it was twelve thirty-seven.
"Damn..." she whispered, rising and throwing on a t-shirt as she walked through the house.
Not that she really needed it... no one was there.
She opened the door to Shinji's room, taking in his still-made bed... his cello, leaning in the corner (she had not heard its sound for weeks now)... his bookbag (since it was a weekend, he would not need it for a day or two)... and his SDAT player, sitting on his nightstand.
"I thought he ALWAYS took this with him..." she whispered. She walked over and picked it up, considering it briefly.
In a stroke of insight - the kind that hits you when you least expect it - she understood that the SDAT's presence in his room meant something... it's cold plastic, normally warm from being held in his hand, spoke of a boy that was maturing. It whispered secretly to her that it was no longer needed... that it was a trapping of childhood - childhood now willingly discarded.
"When did you grow up?" She whispered to the empty room, turning the small player over in her hands, "Why didn't I see you changing in front of my eyes?"
The thought that he might have advanced beyond her didn't really bother her - not like it would have a few months ago. Now, instead of the urge to fight and confront... she felt the urge to support and learn.
It was not an easy transition.
She realized now that he had been slowly growing since he had started seeing Maya. Growth was painful, she knew... and she had watched as he had been ripped apart by their almost-breakup... then built back up by Maya's quiet kindness... then torn back down by this whole Rei fiasco.
She smiled at that. Shinji had called her several hours ago to say he was not coming home tonight. He had sounded happy - the happiest she had ever heard him - as he told her that he was going to be staying at Maya's... from now on. This last thought made her sigh.
"Idiot..." she whispered to the SDAT, "you shouldn't move in with her so soon..." But she knew that it was only her own fear of loneliness talking... and she also knew that the fear was groundless - he had promised to be her friend, and spend time with her whenever he could... and she believed him.
But when it's past midnight... and your guardian is working late... and your friends are out of town... knowing that someone loves you just isn't enough.
"At least I'll always know where to find you..." she mused with a small smile.
On impulse, she lay down on his bed and put one hand on her stomach, resting the other one palm up (with the SDAT clutched loosely in it) on her forehead... copying the pose she had seen him laying in so many times.
"So this is what you see..." she said quietly, staring up at his ceiling, "well... I guess there's only one thing left to do..."
She carefully placed the ear buds in her ears and snuggled down on his bed, hesitating only a moment before pressing play.
As the quiet strains of classical music filled her ears, Asuka's mind began to wander. She thought of the times she had treated Shinji badly, and the times he had been kind to her - knowing that the latter outweighed the former... but also knowing that things had changed for the better.
She didn't cry... though she felt sad enough to. Not because he was leaving - ultimately he wasn't going far, and would still be with her - but because she envied him. She never thought she would. She had always thought he was weak... spineless... and simpering. But she now knew he was strong... courageous... and kind.
She wished that she had his qualities. Deep down, she knew she was being melodramatic - she was also strong and courageous... if a bit unkind at times (though she was trying to change that).
"You don't mind if I sleep here, do you?" She whispered to the ceiling, "I know you don't..."
She lay very still, comfortable in the room of the boy that had somehow become her best friend. She knew that once he had moved out... this would be her room.
She smiled softly as she drifted off to sleep.
Continued...
Author's notes: on the angel's cocoon - in episode 23, the angel just appears over Tokyo-3 with no warning at all. And in episode 10, the angel in the volcano is in a cocoon... so I thought what if ALL of the angels were cocooned, just waiting for their time to hatch? If so, and THIS angel just appeared, what if ITS cocoon had ALWAYS been over Tokyo-3? Don't tell me this is farfetched! If you do, I'll show you my fifty-foot tall, bio-mechanical, angel-based mecha - with the soul of my mother in it - and the three of us can talk ALL about it... :P As to the All-Father comment, no - I am not talking about Odin. If Adam is the Father of all the angels, THEY would know who his father is... and they would have some term of respect for Him. ...at least, *I* think they would.
Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com
Part 6
Wishes
By Random1377
Shinji's legs dangled over the abyss, but he felt no fear of falling. The wind ruffled his hair as he thought back to the time when he had stood on the edge, so intent on jumping.
He sighed, "Maybe I should have done it then..." he mused, "sure would have saved me a lot of grief."
He lapsed back into silence for a moment, then he became aware of another presence to his left.
"Nice day, isn't it?" a soft voice said, "Not a cloud in the sky... nice breeze... nearly perfect."
He frowned, "Yeah... I guess it is a nice day. At least, it LOOKS like a nice one..." he paused, "but looks can be deceptive, right? You can think things are one way, and be totally wrong."
There was a mutual sigh, "You're right," the soft voice answered, coming closer. Maya stepped to the edge of the canyon and looked down, her arms folded, "you can think that everything is going along just fine, and then find out that someone you care for is hurting so deeply that they can't even talk to you about it."
Shinji cast his eyes to the side, trying to read her... but finally gave up and remained silent.
Maya sighed, "I talked to Rei..." she said conversationally.
Shinji drew his legs up and rested his head on his knees, "Yeah?" he said, "And how did you feel about that?"
"Bad..." Maya admitted, "she told me that she was in love with you."
He took a breath, "Did she tell you that we kissed?" he asked softly, not wanting to lie to himself anymore.
"No..." she admitted, "she didn't..." she looked at him, assessing him, "but I guess I can't really be mad that you kissed her, it's not like we ever said we couldn't see other people..."
He turned to look at her, "Is that... what you want? To see other people?" His voice was infinitely sad.
She looked out into the void, "Do you know what today is?" she asked, changing the subject.
He smiled at her profile, "How could I forget?" He said, standing up and reaching into his pocket.
As he rose, Maya tensed... prepared to grab him should he make any move for the edge. She relaxed as he drew a long, flat box from his pocket and presented it to her. "What is it?" she asked curiously.
He grinned, "Only one way to find out, right? Happy birthday, Maya..." he said. As she took the box, his smile faded, and he turned around to walk away.
She opened the box, not noticing his departure as she stared in wonder at the beautiful silver-bodied dragonfly pendant in the box. It had sparkling emerald eyes and hung by a simple gold chain. She took it out and held it up, marveling at the way the sun shown off of it.
"Shinji... it's..." she couldn't find the words to describe it. She looked up, suddenly aware that he was no longer at her side. She looked over the edge of the precipice first, terrified that she might see his broken body lying at the bottom. Finding nothing of the kind she looked around, finally catching sight of him walking with his head down away from Tokyo-3.
Sprinting, she caught up to him. "Wait..." she gasped, making him stop and turn around. The lost look in his eyes made her regret every unkind word she had ever spoken to him, whither excused by her monthly cycle or not. "This..." she began, holding up the box, "isn't what I want for my birthday..."
He frowned, looking at the box, then at her face... then at the dusty ground at his feet, "I'm sorry..." he whispered, "I thought you would like it and I-"
"I do like it," she said, stepping closer to him, "but it's not what I WANT..."
He looked up, confused, "What do you want, Maya?"
She put her hand on his cheek, "What I want for my birthday..." she said softly, "is to spend the day with my boyfriend... and hear him say those three words that Rei said to him..."
His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off, "Then," she said leaning close to him, "I want him to tell me that he loves me so much that he wants to move in with me. Is that a lot to ask for a birthday wish?" she said, smiling softly.
"No..." he said, carefully drawing her into his arms, "it's not..."
She put on her sternest face, "Well? I'm waiting!"
He grinned, "Maya?" he said, "Can I move in with you?"
"I don't know," she said with a smile, wrapping her arms around his neck, "that's kind of a big step, and I don't know if we're ready to-"
"I love you." He said quietly, stopping her playful diatribe in its tracks, "Can I live with you?"
Though she had asked him to say it, the words still had a profound effect on her, "Yes..." she said, staring into his eyes, "I would like that more than anything. And Shinji?"
"Hmm?" he asked, pulling her closer to him.
"I love you, too..." she whispered, pressing her lips to his for the sweetest, most sincere kiss that she had ever felt...
**
Twisting... coiling... waiting... floating... the being prepared to strike.
It had been sent in this form (as was written) to find the lost one... the Father. It know where he was - it could sense him calling from under the ground... but the time was not yet right to move.
That's one thing the Lillim could never quite understand - EVERYTHING has its place and time.
So it waited... and seethed. If it had thoughts anything close to human, it would have surprised many to know of the sadness in them... the loss, and the pain.
-Father...- it thought, trying to remain patient in it's cocoon, -I will save you Father... as my brothers could not...- it knew that the waiting time was almost done, and the time for action drew nigh... and it longed for it.
-Not ALL is written...- it thought, a small trill of pleasure running through its long form, -we shall prevail! WE shall be the ones to claim the prize!-
That the prize (spoken of by the Father, long before the Separation) was not exactly definable in human terms did not bother the being... it had no use for humans - or their words.
-Pathetic!- It thought, pondering the small creatures that scurried around below it, unaware of the invisible shell of spirit and energy that floated over their city, -Puny things... scrambling around, trying find meaning in their useless little lives... IGNORING the teachings of the All-Father!- It shook with rage at this last thought - there was no worse blasphemy. -They deserve everything that is coming to them...-
Soon... the time would be soon. One more rotation of the Green Mother, and the light of mid-day would reveal it.
Always by day, they came... never by night. Such was their Holy nature.
It was their place to vie with the Lillim... to test them... to break them. It was as HE commanded. None shall claim the prize until they are deemed worthy... none shall reenter Eden until the trials are complete...
-Soon now...- it thought, -soon all shall be reunited... and the blight of these useless creatures will be stripped from Her surface...-
If it had had a face, the being known as Almisael would have smiled at the thought of having its wish fulfilled, and once again seeing its Father...
**
Asuka could not sleep. She tossed and turned on her bed, trying to find a comfortable spot... but sleep would not come to her. She glanced at her clock - it informed her that it was twelve thirty-seven.
"Damn..." she whispered, rising and throwing on a t-shirt as she walked through the house.
Not that she really needed it... no one was there.
She opened the door to Shinji's room, taking in his still-made bed... his cello, leaning in the corner (she had not heard its sound for weeks now)... his bookbag (since it was a weekend, he would not need it for a day or two)... and his SDAT player, sitting on his nightstand.
"I thought he ALWAYS took this with him..." she whispered. She walked over and picked it up, considering it briefly.
In a stroke of insight - the kind that hits you when you least expect it - she understood that the SDAT's presence in his room meant something... it's cold plastic, normally warm from being held in his hand, spoke of a boy that was maturing. It whispered secretly to her that it was no longer needed... that it was a trapping of childhood - childhood now willingly discarded.
"When did you grow up?" She whispered to the empty room, turning the small player over in her hands, "Why didn't I see you changing in front of my eyes?"
The thought that he might have advanced beyond her didn't really bother her - not like it would have a few months ago. Now, instead of the urge to fight and confront... she felt the urge to support and learn.
It was not an easy transition.
She realized now that he had been slowly growing since he had started seeing Maya. Growth was painful, she knew... and she had watched as he had been ripped apart by their almost-breakup... then built back up by Maya's quiet kindness... then torn back down by this whole Rei fiasco.
She smiled at that. Shinji had called her several hours ago to say he was not coming home tonight. He had sounded happy - the happiest she had ever heard him - as he told her that he was going to be staying at Maya's... from now on. This last thought made her sigh.
"Idiot..." she whispered to the SDAT, "you shouldn't move in with her so soon..." But she knew that it was only her own fear of loneliness talking... and she also knew that the fear was groundless - he had promised to be her friend, and spend time with her whenever he could... and she believed him.
But when it's past midnight... and your guardian is working late... and your friends are out of town... knowing that someone loves you just isn't enough.
"At least I'll always know where to find you..." she mused with a small smile.
On impulse, she lay down on his bed and put one hand on her stomach, resting the other one palm up (with the SDAT clutched loosely in it) on her forehead... copying the pose she had seen him laying in so many times.
"So this is what you see..." she said quietly, staring up at his ceiling, "well... I guess there's only one thing left to do..."
She carefully placed the ear buds in her ears and snuggled down on his bed, hesitating only a moment before pressing play.
As the quiet strains of classical music filled her ears, Asuka's mind began to wander. She thought of the times she had treated Shinji badly, and the times he had been kind to her - knowing that the latter outweighed the former... but also knowing that things had changed for the better.
She didn't cry... though she felt sad enough to. Not because he was leaving - ultimately he wasn't going far, and would still be with her - but because she envied him. She never thought she would. She had always thought he was weak... spineless... and simpering. But she now knew he was strong... courageous... and kind.
She wished that she had his qualities. Deep down, she knew she was being melodramatic - she was also strong and courageous... if a bit unkind at times (though she was trying to change that).
"You don't mind if I sleep here, do you?" She whispered to the ceiling, "I know you don't..."
She lay very still, comfortable in the room of the boy that had somehow become her best friend. She knew that once he had moved out... this would be her room.
She smiled softly as she drifted off to sleep.
Continued...
Author's notes: on the angel's cocoon - in episode 23, the angel just appears over Tokyo-3 with no warning at all. And in episode 10, the angel in the volcano is in a cocoon... so I thought what if ALL of the angels were cocooned, just waiting for their time to hatch? If so, and THIS angel just appeared, what if ITS cocoon had ALWAYS been over Tokyo-3? Don't tell me this is farfetched! If you do, I'll show you my fifty-foot tall, bio-mechanical, angel-based mecha - with the soul of my mother in it - and the three of us can talk ALL about it... :P As to the All-Father comment, no - I am not talking about Odin. If Adam is the Father of all the angels, THEY would know who his father is... and they would have some term of respect for Him. ...at least, *I* think they would.
Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com