Chapter 13: Sidetrip
"AAAAAAIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!"
"Just let me do your hair! I want you to look your bestest for the sailors!," Veronica ran after a sopping wet
Little Zel with a comb.
"I don't really think the sailors will care how Zelgadis will look, Mam," Jeremy replied, sipping his chai
tea.
"Well, _I_ care how he looks! Now hold still!" Veronica grabbed him from behind and tackled him. Zel hit the comb
with his palm, sending it flying over the table.
"He never did like people dressing him," Amelia replied, blowing on her chai tea, "This is very good. We
have nothing like this in Saillune!"
"Well," Gourry replied, stirring his chai tea, "every time one of you guys tried to dress him, it was usually in a
dress!"
All action stopped in the room, even Zel turned his sopping wet head to face Gourry. Jeremy's tea splattered all
over the wall in front of him, "What did you say?!"
"Great. Our cousin's a cross-dresser. He's probably gay too," Malcolm mumbled.
"Malcolm! How rude of you say!" Elise sipped her tea, "Just because your cousin cross-dresses doesn't mean he's
gay. 95% of cross-dressers are heterosexual, you know!"
Lina, Amelia and Gourry facefaulted, "What exactly does that prove?!"
"Exactly what I said. Just because Zelgadis cross-dresses doesn't mean he's gay."
"Yeah," Jeremy added, "what do you have against gay people anyway?"
"Nothing," Malcolm replied, "I was just stating a fact. At least, I thought it was."
"Oh, good, didn't want you turning homophobic on us!" The family laughed at this while Lina fumed, "Hello?! Don't
we have a boat to catch?"
"It's... not... hold still... coming... argh... for another hour... sit," Veronica instructed, "It'll be harder
if you let it dry!"
"Do you think Da is going to be one of those ships, Mam?" Malcolm asked.
"No, I don't, Dear. He's on a different ship."
"Oh, your husband's a sailor?" Amelia asked.
"Yes, he is."
"I bet you want to be just like your Daddy someday, huh, Malcolm?"
"Not really. Da is always telling me not to go into it. He told me that if he could get out, he would," Malcolm
shrugged.
"Why doesn't he?" Gourry asked.
"He was an orphan and eventually sold himself into slavery for food. The guy who bought him was the captain of
ship. He eventually bought his freedom but, by that time, he was too old to go into another trade. So, he's stuck."
"How sad. He must miss you a lot when he's away. I bet he thinks of his wife and sons constantly," Amelia sighed.
"Son," Jeremy corrected.
"Excuse me?"
"Son. I'm not his son. My Da's dead. Mam married his Da right before Malc was born."
"How long before?" Lina asked, getting into the story.
"About two months before," Veronica answered.
"TWO MONTHS?! You mean..."
"Ever heard the song 'Home Boys Home'?"
"You mean," Gourry asked, "the one about how some sailor sleeps with a woman he's never met and she has his
kid?"
"Yes, that one. I do like that one a lot!" Veronica patted Zel on the shoulder, "All done! Go have breakfast."
*** ***
The quality that separates the humans from the animals is reason. Zel was using that precious gift.
After that last dream, he began to wonder how he got there in the first place, since people don't grow down and
he had memories from the future.
He did remember Lady telling him that her "Daddy" would never attempt "suicide" but according to his dream, her
"Daddy" did. But that was beside the point. Suicide is probably a very bad thing and probably something very
serious. The Adults claimed that when he got to whenever he was going and "put him together" or something, he would try
committing suicide again. So, what was the point of all this?
Suicide didn't sound like much fun and he didn't want to do it, whatever it was. But the Other Him did. Now, all
he had to do was figure out what suicide was and figure out whether he should be concerned or not.
Fifteen minutes after breakfast, they all gathered their belongings and began traveling to the dock. Since the
Adults decided to trust him, his hands were free to do as they wished.
"#Lady?#"
Lady turned around, "Yes, Master Zelgadis?"
"#What is 'suicide'?#"
"Well... uh... it's when... you try to hurt yourself very badly and usually you die. Actually, now that I think
about it, that's the main requirement. Why do you ask?"
"#You mentioned it to me when I first arrived,#" he lied.
Well now! That sounded terrible! Why would anyone want to hurt themselves badly enough to lead to death?
Then again, seeing what he had seen, maybe he had a good reason. Well, if he was going to do that again as soon
as they "put him together" then it wasn't worth the hassle.
Maybe this was best. Just start all over from square one.
"#Do not fix it if it is not broken!#"
"What was that?"
"#Nothing.#"
Stretch, 1, 2. Stretch, 1, 2. Get, set, go!
*** ***
"Wait! Stop!" Amelia cried out. Everyone turned around.
"Man! Where's he going?!" Jeremy stomped his foot.
"Gourry, go get him. We don't have time for this!" Lina ordered.
"Sure. He's got a head start, though."
"So?! Start running, Jellyfish!" Lina pushed him forward, throwing him off-balance. He dangled on his left
foot before he fell on his face. "What are you doing, Gourry?! This isn't the time to fool around!"
"_You_ pushed _me_!"
"Who cares about that now? Go get Zel back!" Lina moaned into her hands, "What's with this guy and running
off?"
"Malcolm, come with us. Hopefully, we'll be able to convince the boat to wait a while for the boys to get
Zelgadis," Veronica said as Jeremy and Gourry ran towards Zel's escape route.
The streets of Hayla were crowded and, while Zel could get through it quite easily, it was an impossible task for
his followers.
"Stupid... excuse me... he always does this!" Gourry moaned. He was hot and sweaty and he was not in the mood to
run after a little version of his loner friend and bring him to the dock in under ten minutes. To make things worse...
"We've lost him. Damn it! Stupid kid!" Jeremy ran his hand through his hair, "He could be ANYWHERE by now."
"Let's think about this. If you was running away from something, where would you go?" Gourry asked.
"The dark alleys. I mean, it's dark and there are lots of places to hide... Oh no!" Jeremy bolted to the nearest
entrance to an alleyway. Gourry quickly took after him.
"What's wrong? Did you see him?" Gourry asked when he caught up. Jeremy shook his head, "No, but I just realized
something. Prostitutes live in the alleys. If he found one..."
"I think he's a little young for that..."
"NO! They'll take him in! They'll think he's a runaway or wanted by the police. They'll protect him and treat him
as one of their own. We have to find him before someone else does."
"You mean, we have to go in the brothels and stuff to find him?!"
"Look, I don't want to be seen going in there neither but we have to find Zelgadis!" They went in search of a
brothel.
*** ***
"Probably runnin' from them dang stiffs," a "sister" (the term prostitutes use for each other because "they were
all sisters") said to another.
"He look of Sailunne on him. You Sailunne boy?" The another said with halted Official*.
"Sheila, he sure does. We'll call you 'Sail'."
"No," a blank-looking "sister" interrupted in her soft, low monotone voice, "That name will bog him down with the
'rock people'."
"Um, yeah, Tricia. The 'rock people'..." The first "sister" raised her eyebrows at Sheila.
"I mean it, Marie, the 'rock people' are the people who are not in touch with the 'inner light' of the universe and
ignore the calling of the Great Mother Earth who loves us."
"That's nice, Tricia, but I think 'Sail' is just fine," Marie sighed.
"We should name him 'Moonchild'."
"Why? Why in 'Great Mother Earth' or whatever's name should we name him 'Moonchild' rather than 'Sail'?" Marie
stared at Tricia at with a look that she perceived as scary. Tricia wasn't startled a bit.
"'Cause he looks like the moon, that guards our sleeping mortal bodies before our souls are one with the
Great Mother Earth."
"How does this little boy look like the MOON?!" Marie demanded.
Sheila regarded Zel, "He no look of Moon."
"His skin, my sisters. His skin is the color of the glorious watching Moon," Tricia concluded.
"Oh. Why didn't you just say?" Marie slouched down against the wall.
"Because I thought you saw it too. Maybe you should listen to your 'inner light' more."
"I don't _care_ about my stinkin' 'inner light'. The only light I see is the light at the end of your 'Blur
Candle' you are constantly smokin'. Do you smoke that junk on the job? Doesn't it make your customers sick?" Marie
waved her hand in front of her face when Tricia exhaled her smoke.
"Most of them smoke it with me."
"My buyers do too. I then made sick, throw up many," Sheila complained.
"Hey, Sheila, that reminds me. You know when Mary's baby is due?"
"One month."
"We should name it 'Moonchild' when the mortal body is complete."
"SHUT UP ABOUT 'MOONCHILD' ALREADY!!!"
Tricia exhaled slowly, "You are such a rock person."
*** ***
"Look, I know it sounds stupid, we're _not_ here for a love session. We believe that my cousin, a little boy,
wandered into here. Please let me go check," Jeremy ordered, panting.
"That will be 5 gold," the clerk said singsong.
"LISTEN! You stupid little FREAK! I am NOT having a good DAY! Let ME go BEHIND the CURTAIN to JUST LOOK for my
little COUSIN! That's all I want. I'm happily married..."
"That's a new line," the clerk said, not looking up from her nail filing.
"Please, for the love of the Gods, let me go behind there to just see..."
"Is your 'cousin' really back there or do you just want to see some naked, sweaty, tanned female bodies, or male,
whatever, I don't know your preferences, without the commitment."
"Okay, I'm going to be calm now. Is there anything I can do?" Jeremy said leaning against the desk.
"Well, tell me what you want to do and I'll tell you what can be done," the clerk said, and for the first time,
looked up at her pest.
"I want to find my cousin. Understand?"
"Perfectly. I love family commitment in a man. _So_ rare these days."
"I think he's back there with your co-workers. I want to go back there to find him and bring him to the dock
within five minutes. What can I do about this?"
The clerk leaned back in her chair and tapped her file against her chin, "Weeeellll..." She immediately popped
upright, "you could give me five gold."
Jeremy slammed his fists against the table, "Dammit! I do _NOT_ have time for this!" He turned to Gourry, "Gourry,
can I borrow your sword for a second."
"What for?"
"Just give it."
Gourry handed the sword to Jeremy frowning, "Don't make this worse..."
Too bad, Jeremy whipped around and pointed the tip at the obviously frightened clerk's throat.
"I want to go back there NOW."
*** ***
Marie looked at the clock, "Oh, my turn to do rounds outside. Tricia, can you watch Sail for me?" Marie asked as
Tricia lit up another (her fifth so far and it was only eleven o'clock) Blur Candle. The flame crackled and popped
and turned blue and black.
"Sure, Marie. I'll watch Moonchild."
"Sail! His name is Sail!" Marie stomped to the door, quickly composed herself and walked out. Tricia looked at
Sail or Moonchild, having two names sure was confusing, looking through a box of unmentionable love toys for special
customers with special needs.
"Moonchild. Those are not for you," Tricia led him away from the box and sat cross-legged in front of him, "I will
not let you become a 'rock person'. Not if I have anything to say about it."
"#Okay. Whatever.#"
"You must search for your 'inner light' and listen to lullaby of the Great Mother Earth who loves you."
"#I though my Mama loved me. I do not know this 'Earth' person.#"
"Here, Moonchild," Tricia reached into the opening of her flimsy gauze dress and brought out another Blur Candle,
"put this end in your mouth." Zel/Sail/Moonchild took the Blur Candle and put the indicated end into his mouth.
He mumbled through his teeth, "#This tastes funny.#"
"Now, do not be afraid of the fire. When it touches the key to the 'inner light', it will not burn you and your
journey will begin." Tricia took out her lighter and held to the other end of the Blue Candle. The end hit the flame and
it crackled and popped. "Now, breathe in, Moonchild."
He did and immediately wished he hadn't. His eyes watered and his nose burned on the inside. His stomach
liquefied and his heart was kicking his ribs.
"Now, take the key out and breath out." He did so and felt a little better.
"Now repeat." He violently shook his head. He noticed off-handily that someone was yelling in what he assumed was
the front room. "The first time is always the hardest. It gets easier." Well, she seemed to know what was going on. He
shrugged and took another big breath of the Blur Candle. It was still bad but he knew that Tricia was an Adult and
Adults always knew best. Why question?
Pretty soon, he didn't need Tricia's instruction on when to breathe in and out, it was like he was a natural at
this "enlightening" thing or whatever he was doing, she never exactly explained. Anyway, the more he did it, the
better it felt and became less of a jolt. But his head started to feel a little fuzzy and everything seemed to be
covered in a thick gauze, wafting in front of him. He also felt very happy and very loved and loving. He loved everyone
in the room. He felt kind of sleepy and it was suddenly hard to sit up on his own.
Tricia looked concerned, "Moonchild, don't sleep now. Stay awake," the words sounded warped, like melted chocolate
in the summer noon sun. He laughed at the difference in sound. Tricia pushed him against the wall and left him. She
swam back (or so it appeared to Zel/Sail/Moonchild) with a plate with a brownie on it.
"Eat this, and listen to the Great Mother Earth calling you," she said as she handed him a fork.
Oh yeah! He was supposed to be listening to this Great Mother Earth person. He was really going to try hard this
time. He ate the brownie and everything slowed down for him, nearly stopping.
"#I love you, Tricia.#
*** ***
The clerk nearly ran into one of her employees.
"Where do big men come in from?" Sheila demanded, her eyes reflecting the light of the blade.
"They're looking for someone here," the clerk explained.
"No do all?" Sheila remarked, "Big men look for women, yes?"
"No, we're looking for a child," Gourry explained, "I want my sword back, Jeremy," he nudged Jeremy, who said
nothing.
"You big _sick_ man."
"Huh?... Oh! No! Not like that! He may have ran in here. He ran away for some reason and... hey! There he is!"
Gourry pointed at the far corner where Tricia and Zel sat.
Gourry walked over to the pair and heard Tricia saying, "Listen, for She loves you..."
"Hey! Zel, come on! We got a boat to catch!"
"#I love you, Big Guy,#" Zel looked up at Gourry with adoring eyes.
"Hey!" Gourry turned to Jeremy, who was walking over, "he's in a better mood now. He looks kind of sleepy
somehow."
"Sleepy?" Jeremy asked.
"#I love you, Jer.#" Jeremy bent to pick him up and noticed his eyes.
"Cephied! His eyes are dilated! He's been drugged."
"No," Tricia interrupted, "Moonchild is on a journey to find his 'inner light' and hear the voice of the Great
Mother Earth who loves us."
"Terrific, he's still drugged though! What did you give him, you harpie!"
"You are such a 'rock person'. You should listen to the Great Mother..."
"I don't care! Tell me what you gave him so we can leave!"
"You are not taking Moonchild. I will not give him to a 'rock person' who will diminish his spiritual being and
deafened him to the voice of the Great Mother Earth."
"Huh? I understood, like, none of that," Gourry shook her head in bewilderment.
"Just tell me what you gave him!" Jer demanded.
"Fine, you blind 'rock person'. I let him experience what you 'rock people' call 'Blur Candle'" Jeremy moaned at
this. "and a brownie made with Dream Tea leaves baked in."
"Okay, he'll probably live but he's going to out for a while, Gourry. You're going to have to carry him," Jeremy
said, sighing.
"I don't mind. He's sedated, right? That means out to lunch. He won't resist going now. He'll be a good boy,"
Gourry said, patting the completely mellow Zel, "maybe we should keep some handy, just in case Zel gets too depressed
and gets annoying about it."
"If your friend is depressed," Tricia interrupted, getting out another Blur Candle and revealing almost all of
her cleavage in the process, "it is because he turned his ears away from the Great Mother Earth's comforting voice. If
he stops and listens, he will be at peace."
"Yeah, maybe that's it," Gourry said, heaving Zel over his shoulder.
"You, Blonde Man, are not a 'rock person'. I trust Moonchild in your hands. Do not fail him," Tricia bowed
deeply, again showing that lovely cleavage as Gourry was dragged away.
"Yeah, great. Let's go," Jeremy ordered as they went out the back door. Once outside, he turned to Gourry and
said, "Look, don't encourage them, okay?"
"I thought it was sound advice."
"Did you look at her eyes? They were completely glazed over. She was babbling."
"I wonder what the Great Mother Earth sounds like," Gourry asked the sky. The sky had no reply. The trio made
their way to the docks, hoping they hadn't missed the boat.
Literally.
To be continued...
*-My term for how everyone in Slayers can speak the same
language.
Author's Notes: Okay. I say this loud and clear: I do NOT support drug use! I hate drugs, come on, I don't even like
alcohol! I just use drugs for humor purposes in stories, not in real life. I do not support drugs. Do not flame me about
this.
Anyway, the whole drug scene was actually spoofing a similar scene in a book I recently read. Basically, three brothers
stop at a bar and a dwarf (this was a fantasy book) invites them to "dwarf spirits". The youngest doesn't want to at
first but his oldest brother makes him try and, well, he doesn't hold it very well and starts telling everyone about
how much he loves them, even if his audience is someone he just met. He eventually falls asleep on the floor, his last
thoughts being about how much he loves his brothers (whom he hated only minutes before) If you want to read it, it's in
the book "The Second Generation" by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman. The story is called "Wanna Bet?" (The book itself
is a collection a short novellas. "Wanna Bet?" is the best story in there.)
Anyway, C&C are needed and welcome at destinyplot@lycos.com.
And I don't support drugs!
"AAAAAAIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!"
"Just let me do your hair! I want you to look your bestest for the sailors!," Veronica ran after a sopping wet
Little Zel with a comb.
"I don't really think the sailors will care how Zelgadis will look, Mam," Jeremy replied, sipping his chai
tea.
"Well, _I_ care how he looks! Now hold still!" Veronica grabbed him from behind and tackled him. Zel hit the comb
with his palm, sending it flying over the table.
"He never did like people dressing him," Amelia replied, blowing on her chai tea, "This is very good. We
have nothing like this in Saillune!"
"Well," Gourry replied, stirring his chai tea, "every time one of you guys tried to dress him, it was usually in a
dress!"
All action stopped in the room, even Zel turned his sopping wet head to face Gourry. Jeremy's tea splattered all
over the wall in front of him, "What did you say?!"
"Great. Our cousin's a cross-dresser. He's probably gay too," Malcolm mumbled.
"Malcolm! How rude of you say!" Elise sipped her tea, "Just because your cousin cross-dresses doesn't mean he's
gay. 95% of cross-dressers are heterosexual, you know!"
Lina, Amelia and Gourry facefaulted, "What exactly does that prove?!"
"Exactly what I said. Just because Zelgadis cross-dresses doesn't mean he's gay."
"Yeah," Jeremy added, "what do you have against gay people anyway?"
"Nothing," Malcolm replied, "I was just stating a fact. At least, I thought it was."
"Oh, good, didn't want you turning homophobic on us!" The family laughed at this while Lina fumed, "Hello?! Don't
we have a boat to catch?"
"It's... not... hold still... coming... argh... for another hour... sit," Veronica instructed, "It'll be harder
if you let it dry!"
"Do you think Da is going to be one of those ships, Mam?" Malcolm asked.
"No, I don't, Dear. He's on a different ship."
"Oh, your husband's a sailor?" Amelia asked.
"Yes, he is."
"I bet you want to be just like your Daddy someday, huh, Malcolm?"
"Not really. Da is always telling me not to go into it. He told me that if he could get out, he would," Malcolm
shrugged.
"Why doesn't he?" Gourry asked.
"He was an orphan and eventually sold himself into slavery for food. The guy who bought him was the captain of
ship. He eventually bought his freedom but, by that time, he was too old to go into another trade. So, he's stuck."
"How sad. He must miss you a lot when he's away. I bet he thinks of his wife and sons constantly," Amelia sighed.
"Son," Jeremy corrected.
"Excuse me?"
"Son. I'm not his son. My Da's dead. Mam married his Da right before Malc was born."
"How long before?" Lina asked, getting into the story.
"About two months before," Veronica answered.
"TWO MONTHS?! You mean..."
"Ever heard the song 'Home Boys Home'?"
"You mean," Gourry asked, "the one about how some sailor sleeps with a woman he's never met and she has his
kid?"
"Yes, that one. I do like that one a lot!" Veronica patted Zel on the shoulder, "All done! Go have breakfast."
*** ***
The quality that separates the humans from the animals is reason. Zel was using that precious gift.
After that last dream, he began to wonder how he got there in the first place, since people don't grow down and
he had memories from the future.
He did remember Lady telling him that her "Daddy" would never attempt "suicide" but according to his dream, her
"Daddy" did. But that was beside the point. Suicide is probably a very bad thing and probably something very
serious. The Adults claimed that when he got to whenever he was going and "put him together" or something, he would try
committing suicide again. So, what was the point of all this?
Suicide didn't sound like much fun and he didn't want to do it, whatever it was. But the Other Him did. Now, all
he had to do was figure out what suicide was and figure out whether he should be concerned or not.
Fifteen minutes after breakfast, they all gathered their belongings and began traveling to the dock. Since the
Adults decided to trust him, his hands were free to do as they wished.
"#Lady?#"
Lady turned around, "Yes, Master Zelgadis?"
"#What is 'suicide'?#"
"Well... uh... it's when... you try to hurt yourself very badly and usually you die. Actually, now that I think
about it, that's the main requirement. Why do you ask?"
"#You mentioned it to me when I first arrived,#" he lied.
Well now! That sounded terrible! Why would anyone want to hurt themselves badly enough to lead to death?
Then again, seeing what he had seen, maybe he had a good reason. Well, if he was going to do that again as soon
as they "put him together" then it wasn't worth the hassle.
Maybe this was best. Just start all over from square one.
"#Do not fix it if it is not broken!#"
"What was that?"
"#Nothing.#"
Stretch, 1, 2. Stretch, 1, 2. Get, set, go!
*** ***
"Wait! Stop!" Amelia cried out. Everyone turned around.
"Man! Where's he going?!" Jeremy stomped his foot.
"Gourry, go get him. We don't have time for this!" Lina ordered.
"Sure. He's got a head start, though."
"So?! Start running, Jellyfish!" Lina pushed him forward, throwing him off-balance. He dangled on his left
foot before he fell on his face. "What are you doing, Gourry?! This isn't the time to fool around!"
"_You_ pushed _me_!"
"Who cares about that now? Go get Zel back!" Lina moaned into her hands, "What's with this guy and running
off?"
"Malcolm, come with us. Hopefully, we'll be able to convince the boat to wait a while for the boys to get
Zelgadis," Veronica said as Jeremy and Gourry ran towards Zel's escape route.
The streets of Hayla were crowded and, while Zel could get through it quite easily, it was an impossible task for
his followers.
"Stupid... excuse me... he always does this!" Gourry moaned. He was hot and sweaty and he was not in the mood to
run after a little version of his loner friend and bring him to the dock in under ten minutes. To make things worse...
"We've lost him. Damn it! Stupid kid!" Jeremy ran his hand through his hair, "He could be ANYWHERE by now."
"Let's think about this. If you was running away from something, where would you go?" Gourry asked.
"The dark alleys. I mean, it's dark and there are lots of places to hide... Oh no!" Jeremy bolted to the nearest
entrance to an alleyway. Gourry quickly took after him.
"What's wrong? Did you see him?" Gourry asked when he caught up. Jeremy shook his head, "No, but I just realized
something. Prostitutes live in the alleys. If he found one..."
"I think he's a little young for that..."
"NO! They'll take him in! They'll think he's a runaway or wanted by the police. They'll protect him and treat him
as one of their own. We have to find him before someone else does."
"You mean, we have to go in the brothels and stuff to find him?!"
"Look, I don't want to be seen going in there neither but we have to find Zelgadis!" They went in search of a
brothel.
*** ***
"Probably runnin' from them dang stiffs," a "sister" (the term prostitutes use for each other because "they were
all sisters") said to another.
"He look of Sailunne on him. You Sailunne boy?" The another said with halted Official*.
"Sheila, he sure does. We'll call you 'Sail'."
"No," a blank-looking "sister" interrupted in her soft, low monotone voice, "That name will bog him down with the
'rock people'."
"Um, yeah, Tricia. The 'rock people'..." The first "sister" raised her eyebrows at Sheila.
"I mean it, Marie, the 'rock people' are the people who are not in touch with the 'inner light' of the universe and
ignore the calling of the Great Mother Earth who loves us."
"That's nice, Tricia, but I think 'Sail' is just fine," Marie sighed.
"We should name him 'Moonchild'."
"Why? Why in 'Great Mother Earth' or whatever's name should we name him 'Moonchild' rather than 'Sail'?" Marie
stared at Tricia at with a look that she perceived as scary. Tricia wasn't startled a bit.
"'Cause he looks like the moon, that guards our sleeping mortal bodies before our souls are one with the
Great Mother Earth."
"How does this little boy look like the MOON?!" Marie demanded.
Sheila regarded Zel, "He no look of Moon."
"His skin, my sisters. His skin is the color of the glorious watching Moon," Tricia concluded.
"Oh. Why didn't you just say?" Marie slouched down against the wall.
"Because I thought you saw it too. Maybe you should listen to your 'inner light' more."
"I don't _care_ about my stinkin' 'inner light'. The only light I see is the light at the end of your 'Blur
Candle' you are constantly smokin'. Do you smoke that junk on the job? Doesn't it make your customers sick?" Marie
waved her hand in front of her face when Tricia exhaled her smoke.
"Most of them smoke it with me."
"My buyers do too. I then made sick, throw up many," Sheila complained.
"Hey, Sheila, that reminds me. You know when Mary's baby is due?"
"One month."
"We should name it 'Moonchild' when the mortal body is complete."
"SHUT UP ABOUT 'MOONCHILD' ALREADY!!!"
Tricia exhaled slowly, "You are such a rock person."
*** ***
"Look, I know it sounds stupid, we're _not_ here for a love session. We believe that my cousin, a little boy,
wandered into here. Please let me go check," Jeremy ordered, panting.
"That will be 5 gold," the clerk said singsong.
"LISTEN! You stupid little FREAK! I am NOT having a good DAY! Let ME go BEHIND the CURTAIN to JUST LOOK for my
little COUSIN! That's all I want. I'm happily married..."
"That's a new line," the clerk said, not looking up from her nail filing.
"Please, for the love of the Gods, let me go behind there to just see..."
"Is your 'cousin' really back there or do you just want to see some naked, sweaty, tanned female bodies, or male,
whatever, I don't know your preferences, without the commitment."
"Okay, I'm going to be calm now. Is there anything I can do?" Jeremy said leaning against the desk.
"Well, tell me what you want to do and I'll tell you what can be done," the clerk said, and for the first time,
looked up at her pest.
"I want to find my cousin. Understand?"
"Perfectly. I love family commitment in a man. _So_ rare these days."
"I think he's back there with your co-workers. I want to go back there to find him and bring him to the dock
within five minutes. What can I do about this?"
The clerk leaned back in her chair and tapped her file against her chin, "Weeeellll..." She immediately popped
upright, "you could give me five gold."
Jeremy slammed his fists against the table, "Dammit! I do _NOT_ have time for this!" He turned to Gourry, "Gourry,
can I borrow your sword for a second."
"What for?"
"Just give it."
Gourry handed the sword to Jeremy frowning, "Don't make this worse..."
Too bad, Jeremy whipped around and pointed the tip at the obviously frightened clerk's throat.
"I want to go back there NOW."
*** ***
Marie looked at the clock, "Oh, my turn to do rounds outside. Tricia, can you watch Sail for me?" Marie asked as
Tricia lit up another (her fifth so far and it was only eleven o'clock) Blur Candle. The flame crackled and popped
and turned blue and black.
"Sure, Marie. I'll watch Moonchild."
"Sail! His name is Sail!" Marie stomped to the door, quickly composed herself and walked out. Tricia looked at
Sail or Moonchild, having two names sure was confusing, looking through a box of unmentionable love toys for special
customers with special needs.
"Moonchild. Those are not for you," Tricia led him away from the box and sat cross-legged in front of him, "I will
not let you become a 'rock person'. Not if I have anything to say about it."
"#Okay. Whatever.#"
"You must search for your 'inner light' and listen to lullaby of the Great Mother Earth who loves you."
"#I though my Mama loved me. I do not know this 'Earth' person.#"
"Here, Moonchild," Tricia reached into the opening of her flimsy gauze dress and brought out another Blur Candle,
"put this end in your mouth." Zel/Sail/Moonchild took the Blur Candle and put the indicated end into his mouth.
He mumbled through his teeth, "#This tastes funny.#"
"Now, do not be afraid of the fire. When it touches the key to the 'inner light', it will not burn you and your
journey will begin." Tricia took out her lighter and held to the other end of the Blue Candle. The end hit the flame and
it crackled and popped. "Now, breathe in, Moonchild."
He did and immediately wished he hadn't. His eyes watered and his nose burned on the inside. His stomach
liquefied and his heart was kicking his ribs.
"Now, take the key out and breath out." He did so and felt a little better.
"Now repeat." He violently shook his head. He noticed off-handily that someone was yelling in what he assumed was
the front room. "The first time is always the hardest. It gets easier." Well, she seemed to know what was going on. He
shrugged and took another big breath of the Blur Candle. It was still bad but he knew that Tricia was an Adult and
Adults always knew best. Why question?
Pretty soon, he didn't need Tricia's instruction on when to breathe in and out, it was like he was a natural at
this "enlightening" thing or whatever he was doing, she never exactly explained. Anyway, the more he did it, the
better it felt and became less of a jolt. But his head started to feel a little fuzzy and everything seemed to be
covered in a thick gauze, wafting in front of him. He also felt very happy and very loved and loving. He loved everyone
in the room. He felt kind of sleepy and it was suddenly hard to sit up on his own.
Tricia looked concerned, "Moonchild, don't sleep now. Stay awake," the words sounded warped, like melted chocolate
in the summer noon sun. He laughed at the difference in sound. Tricia pushed him against the wall and left him. She
swam back (or so it appeared to Zel/Sail/Moonchild) with a plate with a brownie on it.
"Eat this, and listen to the Great Mother Earth calling you," she said as she handed him a fork.
Oh yeah! He was supposed to be listening to this Great Mother Earth person. He was really going to try hard this
time. He ate the brownie and everything slowed down for him, nearly stopping.
"#I love you, Tricia.#
*** ***
The clerk nearly ran into one of her employees.
"Where do big men come in from?" Sheila demanded, her eyes reflecting the light of the blade.
"They're looking for someone here," the clerk explained.
"No do all?" Sheila remarked, "Big men look for women, yes?"
"No, we're looking for a child," Gourry explained, "I want my sword back, Jeremy," he nudged Jeremy, who said
nothing.
"You big _sick_ man."
"Huh?... Oh! No! Not like that! He may have ran in here. He ran away for some reason and... hey! There he is!"
Gourry pointed at the far corner where Tricia and Zel sat.
Gourry walked over to the pair and heard Tricia saying, "Listen, for She loves you..."
"Hey! Zel, come on! We got a boat to catch!"
"#I love you, Big Guy,#" Zel looked up at Gourry with adoring eyes.
"Hey!" Gourry turned to Jeremy, who was walking over, "he's in a better mood now. He looks kind of sleepy
somehow."
"Sleepy?" Jeremy asked.
"#I love you, Jer.#" Jeremy bent to pick him up and noticed his eyes.
"Cephied! His eyes are dilated! He's been drugged."
"No," Tricia interrupted, "Moonchild is on a journey to find his 'inner light' and hear the voice of the Great
Mother Earth who loves us."
"Terrific, he's still drugged though! What did you give him, you harpie!"
"You are such a 'rock person'. You should listen to the Great Mother..."
"I don't care! Tell me what you gave him so we can leave!"
"You are not taking Moonchild. I will not give him to a 'rock person' who will diminish his spiritual being and
deafened him to the voice of the Great Mother Earth."
"Huh? I understood, like, none of that," Gourry shook her head in bewilderment.
"Just tell me what you gave him!" Jer demanded.
"Fine, you blind 'rock person'. I let him experience what you 'rock people' call 'Blur Candle'" Jeremy moaned at
this. "and a brownie made with Dream Tea leaves baked in."
"Okay, he'll probably live but he's going to out for a while, Gourry. You're going to have to carry him," Jeremy
said, sighing.
"I don't mind. He's sedated, right? That means out to lunch. He won't resist going now. He'll be a good boy,"
Gourry said, patting the completely mellow Zel, "maybe we should keep some handy, just in case Zel gets too depressed
and gets annoying about it."
"If your friend is depressed," Tricia interrupted, getting out another Blur Candle and revealing almost all of
her cleavage in the process, "it is because he turned his ears away from the Great Mother Earth's comforting voice. If
he stops and listens, he will be at peace."
"Yeah, maybe that's it," Gourry said, heaving Zel over his shoulder.
"You, Blonde Man, are not a 'rock person'. I trust Moonchild in your hands. Do not fail him," Tricia bowed
deeply, again showing that lovely cleavage as Gourry was dragged away.
"Yeah, great. Let's go," Jeremy ordered as they went out the back door. Once outside, he turned to Gourry and
said, "Look, don't encourage them, okay?"
"I thought it was sound advice."
"Did you look at her eyes? They were completely glazed over. She was babbling."
"I wonder what the Great Mother Earth sounds like," Gourry asked the sky. The sky had no reply. The trio made
their way to the docks, hoping they hadn't missed the boat.
Literally.
To be continued...
*-My term for how everyone in Slayers can speak the same
language.
Author's Notes: Okay. I say this loud and clear: I do NOT support drug use! I hate drugs, come on, I don't even like
alcohol! I just use drugs for humor purposes in stories, not in real life. I do not support drugs. Do not flame me about
this.
Anyway, the whole drug scene was actually spoofing a similar scene in a book I recently read. Basically, three brothers
stop at a bar and a dwarf (this was a fantasy book) invites them to "dwarf spirits". The youngest doesn't want to at
first but his oldest brother makes him try and, well, he doesn't hold it very well and starts telling everyone about
how much he loves them, even if his audience is someone he just met. He eventually falls asleep on the floor, his last
thoughts being about how much he loves his brothers (whom he hated only minutes before) If you want to read it, it's in
the book "The Second Generation" by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman. The story is called "Wanna Bet?" (The book itself
is a collection a short novellas. "Wanna Bet?" is the best story in there.)
Anyway, C&C are needed and welcome at destinyplot@lycos.com.
And I don't support drugs!