Chapter 5
Heh…Two short chapters in a row, whoopsies ^_^
Sick Little Voice in the Back of My Head: I can give you some pointers :)
Kaosu: * SPLAT * How many times do I have to flatten you for you to get a clue?
Now Flat Sick Little Voice in the Back of My Head: * twitch * X_X
Warnings: Errr…possibly some very mild swearing (damn's and such) and errr…more cross-dressing ^_^ And violence. Sick twisted violence ^___^.
**** Suddenly their was laughter. Lot's and lots of laughter. The gundma pilots turned around to see the Inner Senshi laughing their asses off. They were rolling around on the floor, clutching their stomachs and turning blue from lack of oxygen. The Gundam Pilots didn't appreciate this very much. They stomped right over to them and stood infront of them, glaring for all they were worth. When the Inner Senshi were done laughing, they looked up to see a few very ticked off Gundam Pilots.
"To save your own life, tell me you weren't laughing at us." Heero growled and sent them the world famous Heero Yuy Glare of Death™.
Rei stopped laughing long enough to answer him. "N-no, of course not…*snicker"
"Than what are you laughing at?" Quatre questioned. All the patience that we once possessed was literally flying out the window. No, I'm serious! See, there it goes! *Little chubby hand points to the window were little Quatre's with wings are flying towards.* See! I told you.
"Ummm….YOU!" They all started to laugh again. The gundam pilots had had enough.
"YOU STUPID ONNA'S ARE THE ONES WHO DID THIS TO US! SO I SUGGEST YOU SHUT UP OR TASTE STEEL!" Wufei whips out his katana and points it at Rei's head. Rei shuts up.
"Umm…excuse me."
Everyone turns around to see the Daemon tapping her foot impatiently. "You guys are supposed to be fighting ME and not THEM. Can we please get on with the pointless battle scene now? Thank you."
The Gundam Pilots blink than shrug and get back in defensive positions.
"Oh no…I got that urge again…"
"What urge?"
"I got the urge to Herbal."
"What??" Everyone looks up at Duo.
"Hun? WHOOPS! Sorry, been watching too much T.V ^_^"
Everyone: -_-()
"No, I mean that OTHER urge."
"Oh no…Not THAT urge!" Quatre gasps and puts a hand to his mouth in shock.
"What…oh god no, not that! RESIST THE TEMPATION!!" Wufei screams, whipping out a bible. "Do not give in to the evils! Resist and you shall be saved!!"
"I…can't…force…too…strong…"
"No Duo, don't do it!!" Heero grabs Duo's shoulders and shakes them.
"Duo, don't listen to that little voice inside your head!"
Duo turns and looks at Trowa with a raised eyebrow. "What little voice?"
"You mean that's only me?"
Everyone nods slowly.
"Oh, okay. Never mind than."
Duo blinks at Trowa than shakes his head "Okayyy…Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah!" Ehem "I can't…I MUST!" Duo wiggles out of Heero's grip and jumps in front of the monster.
"NO!! DUO DON'T DO IT!!"
"Stop right there you evil piece of trash! I won't let you go any further! Hurting couples is wrong, no one should be able to stop the strong force that is love!" He poses "I am Sailor Moon, and in the name of the moon" More posing. He crosses his arms, than points one finger up in the air. More hand tricks, than some weird stuff with his legs. Than he just starts spinning around in circles. Than he stops, looks a bit dizzy, and start's doing fancy things with his hands, and even more spinning. "I shall punish you!" Than one final pose.
The gundam Pilots, Inner Senshi, AND the daemon all give Duo weird looks.
"Do I really look that retarded when I do it?" Usagi asks under her breath. The other Senshi nod her heads, and Usagi bows her head in embarrassment "Oh…"
"Man, that was messed up, wasn't it Wu- Where did Wufei go!?" Heero looks around in all directions and isn't able to find Wufei. "Oh…no…"
A long piece of metal is suddenly thrust into the air. It comes back down and gets put back into its sheath. " I am the Sailor Soldier of Thunder!" Poses "I shall not let you bring injustice to this planet, you ugly weakass onna!" He posses again, a bit of lightning coming from his tiara. "And in the name of the planet Jupiter!" He switches poses yet again. "I shall punish you!" He poses one last time next to Duo.
Everyone sweatdrops.
"Don't forget about me!" Someone bounces in front of the Daemon and gets on their knees. "I am the Pretty Sailor Soldier of Love! I wont let you ruin some ones romantic moment ever again! I cannot forgive you for what you've done! In the name of the planet Venus" Poses, and blows yet another kiss. "I shall punish you!" One final pose next to Wufei.
Someone else runs and skids to a stop right in front of the daemon. "Hey! You! Yah I'm talking to you! I shall not let you live for what you've done. I am the Pretty Sailor Soldier of Fire!" Switches position and puts one hand on his hip, one hand in the air with the pointer finger extended. "In the name of the planet mars I will kill you and anyone who saw me say all this shit!" He poses on the other side of Duo.
Another person slowly walks out from his spot, stands in front of the daemon and says "I'm Sailor Mercury, and your gonna die." He walks over to where his other friends are, and poses next to Heero. Everyone has huge sweatdrops on their heads.
"Nice job, Trowa" Duo comments flatly.
"Oh, I'm sorry for not jumping around like a pansy saying speeches that little kiddies would say and twirling around like a friggen idiot."
Everyone stares at Trowa. Quatre starts to cry.
"Oh, now see what you've done!" Heero scolds.
"Oops! I'm sorry Quatre, your not a pansy. Your speech was…nice…"
Quatre lights up.
"EHEM"
Everyone turns to look at the daemon.
"If your all quite finished acting like MORONS can we PLEASE get on with the fight?"
Everyone nods.
"Good. Nakariii!!" She jumps up and launches giant afros at everyone. The Gundam Pilots all dodge but the Inner Senshi become trapped inside the huge mass of hair.
"H-help…can't breath…"
"Eek! We've got to help them!" Quatre runs to try and get them free, but the daemon blocks his way.
"Time to…DISCO!"
Quatre blinks "Disco?"
The Daemon points her finger at Quatre and his Fuku goes all shiny, he than beings to dance. "What the hell!?"
"Quatre, what the hell are you doing?" Wufei asks, watching Quatre do the Moon Walk and the John Travolta dances.
"I can't help myself! Someone stop me damnit!!" He squeaks while thrusting his hips.
"I dunno, I kinda like you like this…" Trowa says dreamily while watching Quatre's every move. He snaps out of it and turns around. The other Gundam Pilots are giving him weird looks. "Opps…Did I say that out loud?"
"Riiight…don't worry! I'll help you, Quatre!" Duo runs up to Quatre and whacks him on the head with his wand.
"OUCH! WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR!?"
"Well you stopped dancing didn't you?"
Quatre stops complaining and looks down. "Hey, I did stop!"
"NAKARI!!!" The daemon yells, enraged. She grows 6 inch platforms and stops over to Duo. "I'm going to crush you! Ehehehehehehe!"
Duo and Quatre look at each other. "……..AAAHHH!!!!" They whip around and bolt.
The daemon chases after them. "I'm going to stomp on you! Ehehe- OUCH!!" A giant bolt of lightning strikes her right platform shoe, causing it to melt and go from 6 inches to 3 inches. She yelps and falls onto her butt. Duo and Quatre stop running.
"Stupid onna and her stupid shoes…" Wufei mutters and the antenna goes back into her tiara. Duo and Quatre pounce Wufei.
"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!"
"ACK! Get off me!" Wufei shoves Duo and Quatre off him causing them to hit the floor.
"Take it easy Wu-man we were just thanking you."
"Uhh…guys, a little help here."
Everyone turns to see Heero trapped under the daemon who is trying to kiss him.
"Common stud, give mommy a nice fat smoocheroo." She says and puckers up, leaning in closer to Heero. Heero has his legs up under her stomach and is pushing her up while she try's to go down.
"HELP ME!!" He squeaks. Duo gets up and growls loudly. He raises his staff and yells "Honeymoon Therapy KISS!" The attack hits the daemon and sends it flying into a wall. It turns back into a human and peels itself off the wall, falling to the ground flat as a pancake. They all huddle around the person and snicker when they find out who it is.
"Oh, look at that, It's Relena again.
Quatre scratches his head. "Wait, how is that possible? Didn't she die already?"
"How can you turn into one of those things twice?"
"Why is that stupid onna wearing a halter top?"
"Why do you care?"
"Why are you people asking such stupid questions!?" They all turn to see the Inner Senshi lying on the ground gasping for air. "It's about damn time! I was suffocating in that stupid thing. Whoever owned that hair never washed it!" Makoto coughed and wheezed some more.
"Well, now that we beat the badguy, you can take your stupid jobs back." Duo grabs his locket and hands it to Usagi. "Right guys?" He tuns to see the other Gundam Pilots fidgeting with their wands. They look up at Duo and smile.
"Oh no…are you guys serious!?"
"Well, I felt a little lost after the war, like I had nothing to live for. Now I have a purpose." Wufei states calmly.
"Yeah, and it's a lot of fun! And we aren't hurting humans!" Quatre beams.
"And I get to kill things again and not feel guilty." Heero says while tucking his wand away.
Duo sweatdrops and mutters curses under his breath. "I can't believe this…oh, fine! We're keeping your jobs you lazy asses." He grabs his locket back and stomps away.
"Thank you!" Usagi calls out and waves goodbye.
"Have fun!" Ami shouts and waves also.
*****
Duo sits on the couch and continues to mutter curses under his breath while glaring at each and every gundam pilot.
"Oh common Duo it's not that bad."
"How is it not bad!? You guys are sick! SICK I TELL YOU!!"
"Duo…" Heero sits up and glares at Duo
"Wait, let me guess, 'Omae O Korosu' right? Or 'shut the hell up' or-"
"Did I tell you how good you looked in a skirt?"
The End.
*****
Wahahaha! I left the ending like that so I could torture you all. Well, did yah like did yah like!? I tried to make it as long as possible but that really isn't my forte. Anyways, R&R!