Note: This is sort of like a short not-really sequal to Destiny. Anywayz, this fic focuses mainly on Quatre and the whole thing is sorta like a flashback sequence so I hope it isn't too confusing!
This fic is dedicated to a new friend (and a great one, too, I might add), Masako!! Hope you are reading this Mask and hope what we have would be the beginnings of a very beautiful friendship. (BV is acting somewhat sappy becuase she is in the middle of writing this sappy-angsty fic.. which she hope is not as lame as she thinks. ^^:)
I wish that my life wasn't anything like the one I have right now... filled with too many responsibilities and never having much choices to make. I guess, actually there are a lot of choices if I look hard enough but each and every one of them would lead to a dead end. If possible, I want to make a desicion that would please everybody but that's too much to ask, isn't it? Because whatever course I take, it will only result in hurting somebody. Why can't I make a choice where I'll be happy and make everybody happy at the same time? God, I hate my life. It's too damn complicating.
~*~*~*~*~*
Duo Maxwell was sitting on his favourite spot in the Winner's vast, well-manicured gardens. The big willow tree beside a little pond filled with golden koi. It was a very nice place and a good place to relax and think. Most importantly, it was very peaceful and nobody bothered him there. He could just it under the tree and watch the koi swim for hours and hours.
"Duo," came Quatrre's feminine-like voice, breaking the braided boy's train of thoughts.
"Ah, Quatre!! Nice to see you my good buddy," said Duo with a big grin. "Is it time for tea or somethin'?"
"Not yet, but it will be in 15 minutes," said the blonde boy. "Mind if I sit here with you?"
"Of course I don't mind. Anyway, you didn't hafta ask for my permission, you know! This is your garden after all!" Duo said and waved at the other boy to sit beside him. "You can be too polite for your own good sometimes, Q."
"It's just that I don't want to bother people when I'm not wanted," said Quatre with a shrug as he sat down on the grass.
"You? A bother?" Duo rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right. Who would ever think you as bothersome? Everybody likes you Q-man! Anybody would be happy to be in your generous and hospitable company."
"Hontou ni?"
"I run, I hide but I never lie!" Duo said his trademark quote proudly. "Seriously Q-man, what makes you think that people would find you a bother?"
"I don't know.. it's just that I thought I was still Trowa's best friend but it seems to me that he keeps ignoring me nowadays," the blonde said morosely. "I can't help thinking if I ever made him mad or if he's bored with my chatter since he never talks a lot. He probably hates it when people bug him all the time for some decent conversation."
"If Tro doesn't like you for your chattering, then he probably hates me for me blabbering!" exclaimed Duo. "Chill out, Quatre. I'm sure he doesn't hate you or dislike you or find you bothersome."
'Because the truth is he likes you,' Duo said silently to himself. 'Only he doesn't know how to tell you and you don't even realize that.'
"Then why is he ignoring me?" asked Quatre with a confused look. "It seems as if he's stuck in his room all the time and he always keeps making excuses to get away from me."
"Like what kind of excuses?"
"He'll say that he had work to do and all that," said Quatre. "I don't understand Duo. If something or if I'm bothering him, why won't he tell me? I'm his best friend aren't I?"
"You know Q, maybe you should ask him about that yourself," said Duo finally. "You just confront him then and there and demand for some answers. If he still won't tell you, you can just say 'Omae o korosu', right?"
"I probably would but Heero will kill me if he found out I borrowed his quote," said Quatre with a laugh. "Maybe you're right. I think I'll go and find Trowa." The blonde Arab stood up and waved a bit before running off.
~*~*~*~*~*
Quatre walked slowly, deliberately slowly to the room where the pilot of HeavyArms inhibited. He felt as if there were a hundred butterflies flutering madly in his stomach and even if he had rehearsed what he was going to say to Trowa over and over again in his head, it wasn't helping at all.
After a few minutes, he was standing right in front of the door to Trowa's room. 'It's now or never,' he thought, taking a deep breath as he rapped onto the wooden door loud and clear.
There was no answer so the blonde knocked again. Still no answer. Thinking that maybe the unibanged boy wasn't in his room, Quatre turned on his heels to walk away when he heard Trowa's voice asking who was there coming from inside the room.
"It's me, Quatre," he said nervously. He waited a bit for Trowa to ask him what he wanted or to invite him to come in but he was only met with silence. "Can I come in?" he said finally.
"Fine," came the reply after another long awaited silence.
The blonde opened the door cautiously and walked in almost silently before shutting the door behind him. He saw that Trowa was sitting on a chair, holding a book in his lap. Apparently, he had been reading before Quatre came.
"I hope I'm not bothering you," said the blonde.
"No. Not at all," said Trowa politely.
"What are you reading?" Quatre asked.
"'To Kill a Mocking Bird'," replied Trowa.
"That has always been one of my favourite books!"
Silence.
Quatre felt very awkward with this, this 'polite' conversation they were having which to him didn't sound like a conversation at all. He wondered why they were talking as if they were total strangers. It didn't feel normal and he felt something he couldn't describe stabbing at his heart.
"Trowa, we're friends aren't we?" blurted the blonde without thinking.
"Yes. Why do you ask?" Trowa asked, looking a bit surprised at the question.
"Then.. then why are you ignoring me? Why do you act like you want to avoid me?" Quatre said in a rush. All the things he was planning to say were gone. "Did I make you angry? Do you think I'm bothering you? I'm your friend so why can't you just tell me why you're acting this way?"
"I can't tell you," said Trowa, looking away. "Not in words anyway."
"Then why don't you tell me with your actions?" Quatre challenged.
The tall pilot stood up from his chair, the book falling with a thud onto the floor and walked towards the blonde without even the slightest hint of emotion on his face. Quatre could feel the butterflies in his stomach fluttering even more madly. He suddenly felt afraid. Was Trowa going to punch him or something?
Obviously the other boy was going to do something. Emerald locked on sapphire as Trowa firmly held Quatre's shoulders. "This is why," Trowa growled in a low, husky voice and then lowered his head to lay a long, hard kiss onto those pink lips. Quatre could only stand frozen in shock as a million wild thoughts swirled in his mind, making him positively dizzy.
'Trowa's kissing me!' that was the only thing that ran in his mind over and over again.
All too soon, those lips pressed to the blonde's withdrew and strangely, Quatre felt his heart protesting against the loss.
"T-Trowa?" he asked questioningly. "Why..?" He delicately touched his slightly swollen lips with his fingers, feeling his face growing hot.
"I-I.. gomen, I shouldn't have done that," murmured Trowa, turning his back on the blonde, his shoulders tensing. "Onegai. Just forget everything that happened."
"Iie, I will not forget this day," said Quatre gently but firmly. "I want to remember everything. Arigato, Towa….for giving me my first kiss - it was nice." The blonde took a step closer to Trowa and slipped his much smaller hand into Trowa's larger but elegant hand, which was at his side.
Trowa felt surprised as he felt a delicately small hand slip into his, he turned to see that Quatre was standing beside him with a shy smile on his face. "You're not mad at me?" Trowa asked in wonder. "You're not disgusted with me?"
"No, I'm not mad at you even though I thought at first it was you who was mad at me," Quatre said with a small laugh. "How can I ever be mad or disgusted at all with you, Trowa? You're my very best friend…"
"And you are mine. But I think Quatre, that I like you more than that and I want you to be more than that."
"I would like that Trowa. Very much," said the blonde contentedly, as Trowa pulled him close and tilted his dainty chin upwards.
"Ai shiteru, Quatre," whispered Trowa before lowering his head to the blonde's and Quatre whispered back, "I love you, Trowa," before those lips claimed his for a sweet kiss.
~*~*~*~*~*
Later, the two boys were sitting on Trowa's bed, cuddled in each other's arms. Actually, it seemed like the taller pilot was cuddling Quatre since he was practically sitting in Trowa's lap. Both were quiet as they enjoyed the peacefulness and warmth of sitting together.
"Ne, Trowa. You still haevn't told me why you kept ignoring me before," asked the blonde suddenly, breaking the silence, He raised his head from Trowa's chest to look into those green orbs.
"I don't know why.. maybe because I didn't want you to realize that I had feelings for you," said Trowa, his brows furrowing, "I can't really say. I'm not so good with words. I guess it was because I felt bad every time I saw you knowing that you might never return those same feelings I have for you."
"Silly Trowa," teased Quatre lightly. "If you only knew how long I've been having a crush on you."
"You had a crush on me?"
"Yeah," admitted Quatre, his cheeks red. "I've had it ever since the first time I met you but I never thought that you'd like me, too. But now we know that we like each other, and I feel so happy - I feel like I want to jump up and down or just cry."
"Cry?" asked Trowa, a bit alarmed, seeing the blonde's eyes sparkling with tears.
"Happy tears, Trowa, because I'm happy that I'm with you."
"Happy tears.. I will never let you have tears of sadness, my Quatre," whispered Trowa, placing a few light kisses on top of that blonde head. "I will never ever make you cry and I will never ever leave you or in any way make you unhappy."
"You'd better remember your promise, Trowa, or else I will personally hunt you down in Sandrock" said Quatre, wagging an index finger.
"You wouldn't dare," said Trowa mockingly and Quatre said, "Don't believe me? I might really do that if you did leave me."
"I'm not afraid of that happening cos it won't ever happen," Trowa said firmly and Quatre believed him with all his heart.
~*~*~*~*~*
Quatre awoke to find that he had been sleeping with his head resting in his arms on his office desk. It wasn't that he had too much work to do until he had to have a sleepover at his workplace, it was just that he did all this unneccessary work to keep his mind occupied instead of wallowing in sadness and self-pity. That and because he didn't want to be with Arabella - the wife he never loved at all.
The blonde stretched a bit. His body felt sore because well, he hadn't slept on his comfortable bed for three nights all ready since he didn't feel like going home at all. 'I should install a bed or a at least a cot in my office one of these days,' he thought dryly, imagining how many million more nights he was going to spend in his office.
He raised a knuckle to rub at his tired eyes and was surprised to find a wetness on his face. Tears wetted his face, leaving trails down his cheeks. He had been crying in his sleep. It wasn't the first time and he doubted that it would be the last.
"Trowa... you promised me," murmured Quatre softly as tears sprang to his eyes, stinging them. "You promised that you would never let me have tears of sadness. You promised me you'll never ever leave me.... Why Trowa? Why did you have to break your promise?"
More memories of the all the times he had shared with Trowa sprang into his mind. There had been happy times but there had also been times when they were sad and had quarrels and misunderstandings but now, he would never be able to relish those moments ever again, except to just remember then as memories. He would give anything to return to the past but he knew that it wasn't possible.
'Destiny can be so cruel,' thought Quatre. 'And fate likes to play tricks on people.'
Fresh new tears ran down the blonde's face and his whole body racked with uncontrollable sobs as he thought about his horrible life and the agonizing days that stretched before him - all of them absent without Trowa, the only person he could ever love.