by SnapeRulez
Chapter Eleven: "Lupin's Secret"
Little girls are the joy of the fathers, the joy of the mothers, the joy of the teachers, the joy of the universe.
If -and only if- they really are little girls. There are those who resemble monsters, unnerving dolls, clever hyenas or...well, whining boys.
They seldom are "real" little girls with their thoughtful consideration and big puppy eyes that are astounded at the infinite world around them, examining it carefully.
The death of said girls always leaves -as death does in general- a silent but screaming storm of anger in anybody connected to the victim.
That being said, it doesn´t come as a surprise that Remus Lupin had already had more archenemies than there were members in his family when he was less than ten years old.
Heavy rain was pouring down on the lone figure just visible through the thick branches of the trees. The Forbidden Forrest was hidden behind a wall of rain and an odd white mist. Perfect. Perfect for the lonesome werewolf (who wasn´t really a werewolf anymore) to sit and drown in his sorrows.
And the old questions rose again. Was that me? Am I a murderer? Can you call it murder?
They said it was homicide.
"9-year-old werewolf kills 7-year-old", the old head-line.
The beginning of a hysteria never seen before. The beginning of almost two years of hunting down and slaying werewolves.
They didn´t say girl. He frowned.
Why didn´t they say "7-year-old girl"?
As if there was a difference. Lupin pushed some wet hair out of his eyes. He thought of his students.
What were you thinking, becoming a teacher? You are dangerous. A threat to everyone in this school.
Correction, you *were* a threat, and right now you have no idea what you are.
Snape was right, Dumbledore was right (no surprise there). It was not the potion that kept him from transforming, it was the terrible memory which he had burried under lies for years and years.
Of course, it had been kept quiet who that "9-year-old werewolf" was.
Luckily. Lupin doubted he would be sitting here if it had been made public.
"I knew I´d find you here." Lupin closed his eyes in disappointment.
The peace was over.
Without turning, he answered: "I would rather be left alone, Severus."
Snape sat down on the slippery log next to the sad figure of Remus Lupin, and without looking at him, he stated:
"I know."
Silence fell, the noise of the rain was the only thing to be heard for several minutes.
Then, Snape turned to Lupin. It looked like he wanted to ask something, but thought better of it.
"You´ll catch your death sitting out here in the rain, Lupin."
Lupin looked at him seriously. "I know."
Again, nothing but the rustle of the rain.
"This conversation is not exactly....fluent, don´t you think?" Snape sneered.
"No." Lupin answered. "Why did you come looking for me?"
Snape shrugged slightly. "I am not sure."
Lupin nodded quietly.
"I think I was...," Snape continued, "...hoping you´d tell me something."
He gave Lupin a piercing look.
Lupin took a deep breath, then glanced up at the sky.
"Do you like children, Severus?" he asked.
Snape blinked. "Er, well...not really."
Lupin looked at him softly. "Think hard."
Snape frowned. "I guess I don´t like the majority of children. I like some children."
Lupin smiled mildly. "I think I know who you are thinking of right now."
Snape grinned very quickly. "I don´t think you do."
A sudden pain in Lupin´s chest made him jump up. Clutching his left side, he leaned against the nearest tree, which was shimmering in the pale light of day.
"Lupin? Are you all right?" Snape was at his side instantly.
"Yes, I guess so."
Lupin looked up at the taller Potions master.
"Severus, do you remember the first and only -known- time a pre-mature werewolf killed an infant?"
Snape´s black eyes narrowed.
"Yes, I do. I was nine years old at that time." His face expression became dead serious.
"That incident finally convinced my father that he had to get rid of my werewolfness. The slaughter of werewolves that followed the infant´s death was unique in Wizarding history. A huge step backwards for all the political groups who wanted werewolves to join the Ministry."
He paused.
"I guess you could say it was the death sentence for my brother."
His voice was very dry.
Lupin gulped. "Severus....if I told you that....that..."
A deep frown emerged on Snape´s forehead.
"What?" he asked suspiciously.
Lupin took a deep breath, closed his eyes for a second, and said:
"It was me. I was the werewolf who killed the child."
Snape stared. Then he took two steps backwards, breathing heavily.
Lupin did the only thing he could do - he waited.
For what, he didn´t know.