by SnapeRulez
Chapter Twelve: "Of Past and Present"
Nothing happened. There was the soft rustle of the rain. There was a distant, hooting noise, that of an owl, Lupin assumed. But nothing more.
Then, there was an audible intake of breath from Snape´s direction.
"I knew it."
Lupin looked up at him. "What?"
Snape smirked slightly. "Well, a nine-year-old werewolf, there are not that many werewolves around who are exactly of my age."
And only just audible, he went on: "It´s good that you told me."
"It is?"
"Yes!"
Slowly, Lupin walked over to the log and sat down once again.
"Now that you know, can you leave me alone? Please?"
Snape shook his head. "No." He sat down on the old, dark brown tree next to his colleague.
Lupin gazed at a spot somewhere between the trees and said nothing. Nor did the Potions master, whose black hair was already dripping with water.
"What was her name?" Snape asked, in a voice too soft to be his own. Lupin didn´t react.
Snape sighed slowly. Glancing up at the grey sky, he gulped quickly before once again turning to the other teacher.
"Remus, what was her name?"
Remus? REMUS?
Lupin looked at him, startled. There was a waiting expression on Snape´s pale face. Not the impatient look that Hogwarts students knew only too well, just a calm, waiting look.
"Sarah," Lupin heard his hoarse voice reply, "her name was Sarah."
Snape nodded. "Sarah. And did you know Sarah?"
"Not really. I had seen her a few times, in the village. We even talked once or twice."
He gave a helpless shrug. "You see, I somehow managed to break out of our house. Nobody knows what Sarah was doing in the forrest that late at night. Our paths crossed....and....and she didn´t leave the forrest in one piece. Literally."
Lupin gulped heavily. Snape didn´t say anything.
"But it wasn´t me, it was the wolf who did it! Wasn´t it?"
The rain had become softer.
"That," Snape said, "is a difficult question. No wonder you´ve never wanted to regard the wolf inside of you as a part of you. You blamed him for the murder."
Lupin felt very tired. "No, I don´t like the idea of a children slaying monster being a part of me!"
Suddenly, in a vehement movement, Snape grabbed Lupin´s shoulder.
"And do you reckon," he hissed, "that I like the idea of a former Death Eater being a part of me?" Lupin stared.
"What´s wrong with you, Lupin?" His voice was agitated.
"You are the most grown-up and realistic person I know, life has always played tricks on you, but you could always cope."
Snape took a few calming breaths.
"You shouldn´t let the past live on like that. I shouldn´t let it, too. Nobody should."
So now Severus Snape was giving him advice. He of all people.
But he was right, Lupin knew it.
What happened to Sarah happened long ago. I was a child. I couldn´t have done anything to save the girl.....
Suddenly, a thought struck him.
"Severus, how did you know it was a girl?"
Snape simply looked at him.
"How did you know the child I killed was a girl? Her identity was kept secret." He thought of the newspaper clipping.
"9-year-old werewolf kills 7-year-old".
Snape snorted. "You know, Lupin," -his black eyes fixed on the other teacher- "I didn´t like you when I came here as a boy. After a few days, I knew I didn´t like the *marauders* as well, but I didn´t like you the moment you were called on stage to try the Sorting Hat."
Lupin felt something inside of his chest contort strangely.
"And do you know why? I knew perfectly well what you were. And I knew it was you who killed the girl. My father had told me. Your killing was the reason why he was "so delighted" about my transformations stopping after Aureus´ death, after all. Well, that´s what he said. And it gave him the last bit of determination he needed to murder my brother."
Lupin couldn´t say anything.
"Of course, I didn´t know Aureus had been murdered back then, but still I couldn´t help loathing you."
There were times when Remus Lupin wished he was somebody else, and this was one of those times.
"But," Snape went on slowly, "I didn´t know better then, but I do now. The past is over. Even this moment will be over soon. You and me sitting on a slippery log in the Forest, soaking wet and probably flat on our backs for the next two weeks because of a bad cold, this moment will be past soon."
Lupin smiled weakly. "Think of all the lessons the students won´t get." Snape eyed him seriously.
"I don´t reckon they´ll be particularly sad."
After a moment of thought, he added: "Well, maybe except for that Granger girl."