Slayers is the property of Kadokawa Shoten.
SHADOW LINA: Isn't love such a wonderful thing?! Mister Xellos likes Miss Dragon
Lady! IT'S SO CUTE!!!
FILIA: It is NOT cute! It's a horrible situation! I hate him! I hate him! I HATE HIM!!!
XELLOS: (Sighs longingly.) Did you hear that? She hates me…She really does…
SHADOW LINA: Awwwwwwwww!!!! Miss Dragon Lady likes Mister Xellos back, I
think!
FILIA: If you ever suggest such a thing again….I'll kill you…and eat you…I swear to the
Fire Dragon King here and now…
SHADOW LINA: (Whimpers.) I'm sorry!
Faces: After!
Part 7
Jealousy?!
Filia Struts Her Stuff!
Filia Ul Copt sighed in her sleep and tried to get comfortable. She had never liked
camping out. It was so hard to get comfortable in a sleeping roll on top of the hard earth.
She wished that they had gotten to a town with an inn before night had fallen, but that was
just their luck.
She could hear birds singing not far away. It must be morning. She rolled over
again and opened her blue eyes.
Violet eyes stared back at her.
"Good morning, Little Dragon!" Xellos greeted her, lying right next to her in the
bedroll. He held up a kettle and a cup on a saucer. "I made you some morning tea!"
Travelers on the road up to five miles away saw the explosion. Most, having heard
that Lina Inverse was in the general area, merely shrugged it off.
The group that walked down the main road towards Atlas City that day wasn't a
very happy one. The explosion from Filia's surprised outburst had singed their clothes and
destroyed most of their supplies.
Naga grit her teeth as she marched. Now she knew why she had never formed a
gang before. Jeffrey and Shadow Lina just looked miserable, soot and ash coating their
faces. Filia merely looked pissed off and kept shooting glares at the Mazoku walking next
to the dark-haired sorceress.
Xellos, on the other hand, looked no different than normal, aside from the fact that
he was too busy concentrating on the book in his hands to give his usual, carefree smile.
Naga leaned over and read the title of the book he was so intent upon.
"'Mazoku Are From Mars, Dragons Are From Venus,'" she read out loud.
Xellos looked up and smiled. "Yes, well, you're never too old to pick up a few
pointers."
She arched an eyebrow. "Side-Kick, I'm not sure it's a good idea."
Xellos blinked. "We don't have a No Fraternization Policy, do we?"
Naga laughed. "No, of course not! But I'm not sure we can stand many more
morning surprises like today's."
The Mazoku seemed to give this some thought. "It seemed to go perfectly fine to
me."
The sorceress face-faulted. "She blasted you! And US!"
He smiled. "Yes! An even better reaction than I had hoped!" She looked at him
quizzically. "You simply have no idea what a thrill it is to feel that much anger in one
place at a single instant," he told her.
"I'm not sure I want to get into this," Naga said, shaking her head.
"Probably best that you don't," Xellos told her, going back to his book. "It's a
wonderful ride for me, but eventually it'd kill you."
"Uh huh," was Naga's only comment. She looked up and sighed in relief at the
sight that met her. "A town! Thank god! Now we can get washed up and find something to
eat!"
"And how exactly will we pay for it?" Xellos asked her, his nose still buried in
that book. "My blushing bride incinerated all of our money."
The White Serpent growled, then smiled. "What are we worried about? I'm Naga
the White Serpent! I'm sure the citizens of this town will fall all over themselves to help
us out when they hear they have a genuine hero in their midst! OOOOHOHOHOHOHO!!!"
"Yes…." Xellos replied, still reading intently. "'Chapter Six, Wooing Your
Dragon…'"
Naga came flying out of the general store, landing on her face. The heavy-set man
standing in the doorway clapped the dust off his hands.
"Last time, lady!" he cried. "No money! No goods!"
Jeffrey and Shadow Lina helped the sorceress to her feet. Naga turned on the man
and adjusted her hair. "How DARE you?!"
By now four more men had shown up, ready to help the merchant with the riff raff.
"Do you know who I am!?" Naga cried. She posed. "I am NAGA THE WHITE
SERPENT!!"
"Hello there!" Xellos put in. The merchant and the other men looked at him and
blinked.
"Oh," Naga said exasperated. "And this is Xellos, my Side-Kick of Questionable
Worth."
Xellos stood behind Naga and faced them. From behind, Jeffrey, Shadow Lina, and
Filia saw the looks on the men's faces change to terror. A few horns and tentacles could
be seen sprouting from Xellos' head, and they could only imagine what kind of horror he
turned his face into for the men's benefit. In a flash, they took off running, screaming in
fear.
Naga smiled and nodded proudly. "They've heard of me."
"Your skill and reputation obviously precede you!" Xellos told her, his face back
to normal.
"Wow, Miss Naga! That was great!" Shadow Lina piped up.
Filia found a good sized tree and started banging her head against it.
"Now, then!" Naga announced, marching into the store. "Let's get the supplies we
need!"
"Miss Naga, isn't this stealing?" Jeffrey asked as the White Serpent loaded his
arms with a sack of rice.
Naga rolled her eyes. "Jeffrey, if we were STEALING, wouldn't the town
constables have shown up by now to stop us?"
"Well…yeah…"
"See?!" she asked. "The merchant left so that we could take what we need in
peace. Now carry this sack of dried meat while I grab that portable stove…"
Filia looked from side to side, checking for witnesses before hiding a box of tea
bags in her robes.
"Filia chan! How daring!" Xellos exclaimed, appearing right beside her. "I didn't
know you had a dangerous, criminal side!"
The dragon shrieked and drew her mace, accidentally knocking over some pots and
pans on display. "Wha…What are you talking about, namagomi!?"
He grabbed her and hugged her close. She cried out in disgust and struggled vainly.
Xellos didn't care. "We'll be on the run, you know," he told her. "Evading the law,
bounty hunters, the army! But they'll never take us alive, Filia chan! Never! It'll just be
you and I, living from one heist to the next!"
She decked him and sent him staggering back. He reappeared at her side a moment
later. "Filia chan!" he said with a blush, his hand on his face where she had punched him.
"And in public, no less!"
She screamed at him and stormed off.
Shadow Lina watched the scene in awe. She blinked and looked off in no
particular direction. "Love is weird," she commented to herself. She looked at one rack
and went starry eyed. "OOOH! THE NEW TEEN SORCERESS MAGAZINE!!" She
bounded off after a copy of the periodical.
"All right! Everyone got what they need?!" Naga asked, her arms overloaded with
goods, not all of them necessary. They all nodded. "Then let's move out!" As a group, the
Unbeatable Heroes marched out the door and down the street.
They were almost to the town limit when a man in expensive robes backed up by
six men with spears stepped into their path. Naga, unable to see over the stolen booty in
her arms, stopped when she felt Xellos grab her shoulder.
"What?" she asked. "What is it?"
The man in the robes was elderly, a town official by the looks of him. He cleared
his throat and began. "I can't help but notice that you just knocked over the Mercantile."
He arched an eyebrow.
Naga said nothing for a good minute. Then, "Prove it."
Everyone else sweatdropped.
"It's all right. We're not here to arrest you," the official assured her. "As a matter
of fact, we could use a band of thieves such as yourselves."
"Um, excuse me, Sir," Jeffrey broke in. "But we're not thieves. "We're
FLAMING HEROES!"
Naga dropped her stuff, turned, and grabbed the boy by the collar. "FOR THE
LAST TIME, WE ARE *NOT* FLAMING HEROES!!!"
"Whatever," the official said with a wave. "The point is, I have a task for you. If
you accomplish it, you get to keep the stuff you took plus whatever excess treasure you
find. All you have to do is steal one little item."
Naga's eyes sparkled. "Treasure?!"
Filia put her head in her hands. "Here we go again," she muttered.
The town official, who it turned out was the Minister of Social Sciences, was
named Hoven. After taking them back to his office, he kindly offered the group of
Unbeatable Heroes tea before sitting down behind his desk and getting to the point of the
matter.
"We have a problem," he told them. "A day's journey from here is a dragon."
Filia looked up and blinked.
"And you want us to slay it," Naga finished for him. "No prob, we'll be back in
time for di…"
"No, no, no!" Hoven told her. "You mustn't try to destroy it. It'll kill you all!"
Naga looked at him as if he were from another planet. "Riiiiiiiiight…" she replied.
"The dragon is actually a chimera created by the elves who used to live in this part
of the continent. It has scales made of pure orihalcon. No attack, magic or otherwise, can
pierce its skin."
"This old hat AGAIN?!" Naga asked in disgust. She shook her head. "So what do
you want us to do?"
"The Oridragon is a miser. He steals treasure and keeps it for himself. He's a
selfish, cruel beast!"
"Kinda like Miss Naga!" Jeffrey piped up. Naga threw him a glare and growled.
The boy went back to being silent.
"Once, when my department was transporting an ancient text here from Seyruun for
the museum, the Oridragon attacked the caravan, taking off with the book and all the
treasure that came with it."
Naga blinked. "What's so special about this book, anyway?"
Hoven paused, then told her. "It was written by an ancient dragon race. It concerns
the relationship between humans and dragons, and the dragon's role in our
society……….We think."
The band hit the ground. Naga climbed to her feet and placed her hands on the
man's desk. "YOU THINK?!"
"Well, yes…I never got a chance to look over the book and translate it. That's why
it was being sent here. No one has ever actually read it before. They say it was written by
one of the greatest dragons of all. But until we actually read it, we won't know."
The White Serpent smiled. "We'll take the job."
"So, why did we take this job again?" Filia asked as the group continued their
march east.
"Simple logic!" Naga announced. "First, there's the treasure…"
"Which is probably just a pretense to get us to go," Filia told her
"Of course! That won't stop us from getting as much as we can! But what I really
want is the book!"
"Why the book, Miss Naga?" Shadow Lina asked.
"There's only one book written by a powerful dragon that could be worth this much
trouble," the White Shadow explained. She stopped and posed theatrically. "THE
CLAIRE BIBLE!!!"
Shadow Lina blinked. "That sounds familiar," she remarked, her finger to her lip
in thought.
"Of course it's familiar!" Naga told her, exasperated. "It's the most famous spell
book in all of history!"
"Oooooh," Shadow Lina replied.
Naga started pulling her hair out, but got ahold of herself. "So the treasure is okay,
but if we get the book, we can write our own ticket…"
"But you said you'd return the book to Mister Hoven!" Jeffrey cried.
"And that's the beauty of my plan, Jeffrey," the sorceress told him. "We have
something he doesn't! A way to translate it!"
"How?" Shadow Lina asked.
"We have a dragon!" Naga cried, wrapping her arm around Filia. "Isn't that right,
o'l Deus Ex Machina?"
Filia sighed.
"We get the book, Filia translates it, and makes a copy for mys…er…ourselves!
Then we can sell the translated manuscript to the highest bidder! We'll be rich! And
Mister Hoven gets his original book back. By the time he can translate it and figure out
what it is, we'll have already sold our copy!"
The three of them stared at her.
Xellos, his nose still buried in his book, was the first to comment.
"Gee, Lucy, you think it'll work?!"
"No smart ass remarks!" Naga ordered in a growl. "Now what do you know about
this Orihalcon dragon?"
"Surprisingly, not much at all," Xellos confessed. "Outside my area, I'm afraid."
"Well, all we know is that it's impervious to attacks and that it's a man dragon,"
Shadow Lina piped in.
"Yes…" Naga mused. "A MAN dragon…" She turned and smiled at one member
of her party.
"What?" Filia asked. "What are you looking at?"
"Yeah," Xellos chimed in darkly. "What are you looking at?"
Naga's grin magnified. "A WOMAN dragon…"
"Oh no! No way! BAD idea!" Filia told her.
"I agree!" Xellos threw in, putting himself between Naga and Filia. "No fiance of
mine is going to associate with such a beast."
"I am NOT your fiance," Filia growled.
"Filia," Naga began, grinning. "You're a team player, aren't you?"
"I…Suppose so…"
"Then it's agreed! You'll…distract…the Oridragon, while we get the book!"
"And how do you intend I do that?" Filia asked, her eye twitching.
"Yes, just what are you suggesting my Little Dragon do?" Xellos asked, his eyes
narrowing.
"You're a female dragon!" Naga cried as if that explained it all. "Just go in there,
smile…flaunt your wingspan….flick your tail from side to side flirtatiously…"
Filia gasped in shock. "I do NOT just go and show off my tail! What kind of hussy
do you think I am!?" In her distress, the tail in question made an appearance, pink bow and
all…
"Filia, I understand that this might be uncomfortable," Naga told her. "But we
need you! If you don't go in there, I'm going to have to send in Lina and Jeffrey with no
distraction at all!"
"Huh?!" Shadow Lina cried in fright.
"Sometimes, Filia," Naga went on, posing dramatically, "A situation calls for us
all to give our best, to do things we wouldn't ordinarily do. Because people we care about
need us."
Filia sighed.
"So just put a bag over his head and do it for the team!" Naga finished.
"WHAT?!"
"Okay, you don't have to go quite that far," Naga quickly amended. "Just…use
your womanly charm to distract him for a bit. We'll take care of the rest."
"I really hate this plan," Xellos muttered.
"See?! Even Xellos is on board!" the White Serpent cried. Filia wasn't
convinced. "Okay, look at it this way," Naga tried again. "Twenty percent plus a ten
percent bonus after we sell the manuscript. At the going rate of Claire Bible manuscripts
and given their rarity, that could come out to about…" She did some math in her head.
"Close to ten thousand goldpieces." She smiled. "That's a place at the Seyruun Academy
of Sorcery for little Val…at least…"
Filia sighed. "Very well…"
Xellos growled.
"That must be his cave," Jeffrey said, pointing out the hole at the base of the large
mountain, right where Hoven said it would be.
"A cave," Filia grumbled. "How stereotypical…"
A roar from the cave's direction confirmed the assumption that it was the home of
the Oridragon.
"Side-Kick of Questionable Worth?" Naga asked. When Xellos didn't appear, she
huffed. "Off sulking, I guess."
"It must be hard on him," Shadow Lina remarked. "He must feel so horrible
knowing what Miss Dragon Lady is about to do."
"Finally, an upside to this damn plan," Filia mumbled.
"Are you ready?" Naga asked.
"No, but let's do it anyway," the dragon grumbled.
"We'll give you ten minutes to get properly acquainted, then Jeffrey and Lina will
go in for the book. I'll supervise from out here and provide back-up if it's needed."
"Fine, fine, whatever," Filia remarked. She took a breath and paused. "Jeffrey,
turn around."
"Why?" the knight asked.
The dragon blushed. "Just…turn around," she begged.
"Well, okay." Jeffrey turned his back to the blonde.
Filia closed her eyes. The jewel on her chest began to glow. She cried out as a
bright, golden light consumed her. The light expanded, growing larger and larger, then
subsided. Soon, Filia's dragon form stood before them.
The dragon sighed again and lumbered towards the cave, mumbling about her sanity
and how did she ever let them talk her into this.
"Good luck, Miss Dragon Lady!" Shadow Lina called out with a wave.
In a flash, Xellos appeared behind them, watching as the bow on Filia's tail
disappeared into the cave. The Mazoku grit his teeth and growled.
"Um…Hello?" Filia called out as she walked into the cave. She continued inside,
muttering, "Val chan, no matter what anyone says about your mommy, she did it because
she loves you…"
A snarl from inside made her stop in her tracks.
"Er…Is anyone there?" she called out. She poked her head into a chamber and
blinked. Light came down from a hole in the ceiling, the sunlight illuminating a king's
treasure in gold and gems inside. She blinked in shock. Naga would be pleased, at least…
Something moved from the shadows. She watched as a dragon almost twice her
size uncurled itself and started lumbering towards her. His scales were a gold-silver color
that sparkled in the sunlight from the ceiling. He snarled at her and rose up on his hind
legs, staring down at her.
Filia gulped and began to sweat. "Um…Hi…My name is Filia…"
He didn't answer her. He cocked his head and sniffed.
She took a step back and cleared her throat. How the hell was she supposed to do
this? "Um…Could you help me?" she asked. "My…er…I'm…um…far from home, and
I'm very tired and thirsty," she said, coming upon a plan. "Could you maybe…offer a
pretty girl something to drink?" she asked. She tried smiling.
The Oridragon stared at her.
"Uh…heh heh heh…" Filia laughed nervously. She flicked her tail from side to
side.
The Oridragon growled and started for her.
"Okay! Off you go!" Naga told them.
"Do we have to, Miss Naga?" Shadow Lina asked pitifully. "Dragons can be so
scary…"
"That's why I'm sending big, strong Jeffrey to protect you!" Naga told her.
Shadow Lina looked at Jeffrey and went starry eyed. Images of Jeffrey rescuing her
from an evil dragon popped into her head. He'd slay the evil beast, hold her in his arms,
lean over…
She squealed in delight. "Oh, Lord Jeffrey! How bold!"
Naga sweatdropped.
"Well…Okay," Jeffrey said, scratching the back of his head.
"Good! Now get going!" She gave them both a push towards the cave entrance.
The sorceress and the swordsman started walking. Naga sighed and shook her head. "I
always get the hard jobs…"
She turned, waiting for a response from Xellos, but found the Mazoku staring at the
cave entrance. His hands were wrapped around his staff, white-knuckled as half-inch
impressions were made in the wood by his fingers. His teeth were gritted in either pain or
anger.
"Side-Kick, I want you to start including more fiber in your diet. I'm worried
about you."
Xellos ignored her and continued to stare at the cave.
The Oridragon leaned down and nudged a half-eaten cow carcass, overrun with
flies and maggots, towards Filia.
The golden dragon looked down at the meat and sniffed in disgust. "Um…No
thanks. I had…rotting meat…for lunch…"
He narrowed his eyes at her and licked his lips.
Filia gulped and took a step back. "So…um…Where are you from originally?"
She took another step back. She heard something below her and looked down. Shadow
Lina and Jeffrey had just entered the cavern. They looked up at her. She eyed in the
direction of the treasure. Jeffrey nodded and gave her a thumbs up.
The Oridragon growled, prompting the female dragon to turn back to him. "I'm
sorry…Did you say something?" He responded by moving towards her.
Meanwhile, Jeffrey and Shadow Lina were making their way along the wall toward
the mountain of treasure. They started to search for the Claire Bible manuscript, a tiny
book in a sea of treasure. They began digging around in the gold and jewels, searching.
Filia saw this and knew she still had to keep the male dragon distracted. She
backed away from him and smiled. "So…What's your mother like?"
The Oridragon licked his lips again. Before she could react, he had slithered up
next to her. Filia gulped. She tried backing away again, but felt his tail moving up that
side.
"Hey, now! I don't move that fast!" she complained. She broke free and ducked to
the other side of the cavern. He growled at her and moved towards her, but warily this
time. Filia tried to come up with a plan…
Shadow Lina dug through a chest full of gems and sighed. "Nothing!"
Jeffrey tipped over a pot full of gold coins and shook his head. "Maybe it's not
here," he suggested.
"Ack! Hey!" they heard Filia cry out.
"Well, Miss Dragon Lady can't keep running away from Mister Dragon for very
long," Shadow Lina pointed out.
"Right, I'll keep looking." Jeffrey resumed digging through the treasure.
Shadow Lina decided to try something. She closed her eyes and held out her hand,
letting her powers lead her. "Great powers of eternity," she chanted, "Guide my hand to
what I seek most…" Her eyes closed, she allowed the magic gathered in her hand to lead
her. One step…Two steps…
Her hand reached down and grabbed something.
She opened her eyes.
Jeffrey looked over his shoulder and down at Shadow Lina's hand…
Which happened to be connected to his rear end.
"Um…" he said with a blush.
Shadow Lina began to turn red…then crimson…then purple… She sighed and
fainted dead away.
Filia saw Shadow Lina faint and Jeffrey's attempts to revive her. She sighed. The
Oridragon growled, and she looked back at her new would-be suitor. He was staring at
her in a way that made her blush in embarrassment. He took a step towards her.
"So…what's your favorite color?" Filia asked, backing away again.
The Oridragon snarled and dashed at her. Filia squeaked and rushed to her right,
running around a large pile of treasure. The Oridragon looked at her over the treasure and
suddenly rushed around the other side. The golden dragon "EEK!"'d and ran around the
pile of gold, keeping it securely between him and her.
"Don't come near me!" Filia cried. "I'm not that kind of girl! EEK!!" She ran
around the pile again. The Oridragon chased her around the gold pile like a Republican
senator chasing his secretary around his desk.
Meanwhile, Jeffrey was doing his best to wake up Shadow Lina. The petite
sorceress was still out cold, a small trickle of blood dripped from her nose.
"Jeez, Miss Lina!" Jeffrey exclaimed. "Wake up! Please!" He reached out and
grabbed a nearby book, using it to fan the young sorceress.
He stopped and blinked. His head turned and looked at his make-shift fan. He
couldn't read the characters on the cover, but it was the only book there.
"I FOUND IT!" he cried.
"Huh?" Shadow Lina muttered, her eyes opening.
"Look, Miss Lina! I found it!" He showed her the book proudly.
"That's wonderful, Lord Jeffrey!" she cried, snapping fully awake.
"We better get this to Miss Naga!" Jeffrey told her. She nodded.
"Wait. Do we have any time left?" the sorceress asked.
"Get away from me!" Filia cried. They turned and saw the golden dragon
throwing a handful of treasure over the pile at the Oridragon.
"A little, I think," Jeffrey told her.
"Let's grab some of this treasure first! Miss Naga will be so proud!" They started
filling their pockets with gold.
"AIIIIIIIIIII!!!" Filia cried, dashing to another side of the pile. "I don't even kiss
on a first date! Leave me alone!" Finally, in her fear, she called out,
"HELP!!"
Naga nodded sagely. "Everything appears to be going well," she noted. "Don't
you…" She turned to Xellos just in time to see him disappear. She blinked in puzzlement.
"Hmmm…I wonder what's wrong with him."
Filia felt her wings hit the wall and knew she was trapped. The Oridragon
continued towards her. "Stay back," she warned. "I don't want to hurt you!" It was an
empty threat, and she knew it. With those orihalcon scales, her Laser Breath attack might
as well be pepperoni breath.
She recoiled as she felt the male's hot breath against her golden scales. She knew
this was a bad idea! She knew it! Now if she was lucky, she might be able to pry this
disgusting male's paws off her and make a dash for the exit…
IF she was lucky…
She scrunched up against the wall and whimpered in frightful anticipation.
Suddenly, there was something between her and the Oridragon. She blinked.
The Oridragon blinked in shock and snarled at the intruder. Xellos, floating barely
a foot from his snout, snarled back, reached back with his staff, and swung, smashing the
dragon in the nose with it! The Oridragon went flying back through the air, striking the far
wall and collapsing. Boulders and stalactites fell from the ceiling, shaken down from the
force of the impact.
Filia gasped in shock. "Xellos?!"
"Did he touch you?" Xellos asked quietly, not turning to her.
"Huh?"
He turned to her, fury written all over his face. "DID HE TOUCH YOU?!"
She recoiled from the fire in his tone. Before she could answer one way or the
other, the Oridragon had returned to his feet. He opened his mouth, magic energy gathering
there.
"XE…" Filia cried, but before she could get the name out, the Oridragon's laser
breath lashed out at the trickster priest!
The blue bolt of energy struck the Mazoku dead on, reflecting off an energy barrier
he had erected around himself. Xellos turned and lashed out with his hand! A blast of dark
energy flew from his fingertips and struck the wall above the Oridragon's head. More
stone debris fell onto the dragon, forcing it to the floor.
Xellos disappeared in a flash of light and reappeared on the floor near the dazed
reptilian. The Mazoku marched toward him, his face a storm of anger and hate. He
grimaced at the dragon and looked down to find the beast's tail near his feet. He snarled,
raised his staff, and thrust downward, embedding the weapon into the beast's flesh,
THROUGH the orihalcon scales, and pinning it to the rock floor.
The Oridragon cried out in pain, a cry that doubled in magnitude and volume as
Xellos began to channel lightning through the staff and into the creature. He stopped for a
moment, then began again, black lightning running up the dragon's tail into the rest of its
body.
"Xellos! Stop it!" Filia cried.
The trickster priest either didn't hear her or was so deeply enraged he didn't care.
He blasted the Oridragon with another jolt of dark lightning.
Filia turned and saw Shadow Lina and Jeffrey running out of the cave with a chest
of treasure between them. She turned back to Xellos. A golden glow surrounded her as
she began to transform into her human body. As the transformation finished, the Oridragon
screamed again.
She rushed up to the priest. "Xellos! Please! Stop it! He's just an animal! He
didn't know any better! Please!"
He didn't turn to her; just stared down at the dragon hatefully.
She reached out and grabbed his shoulder. "Xellos! PLEASE!"
The Mazoku seemed to snap out of it and raised his head, turning to her. He smiled.
"Very well, Filia chan. If that's what you'd like." He pulled the staff from the dragon's
tail and started for the exit. Filia sighed in relief and started after him.
She swallowed nervously and looked at the back of Xellos' head. What was that
all about? She blinked as a rumble sounded throughout the cave. She looked up at the
ceiling, then at the walls at all the damage Xellos and the Oridragon had caused.
Filia squealed and started to run for the cavern's opening. Just as she and Xellos
were leaving, the ceiling collapsed, burying the treasure, the Oridragon, and everything
else in the cave under a few hundred tonnes of rock.
"Dear Cepheid," Filia gasped, looking at it.
"I'm sure he'll dig his way out," Xellos assured her, not even pausing to look at it.
She looked at him, still unsure of what to say to him, so she said nothing.
He disappeared as Naga, Jeffrey, and Shadow Lina were running up to her.
Naga thrust the book, a quill, and some paper into the dragon's hand. They had
barely given her fifteen minutes to recover from her ordeal, and now they expected her to
translate a book for them.
She was really starting to not like this job…
(It's Val's future,) she told herself. She looked at the book and read the title. She
DID understand the language. It was taught to her at the Fire Dragon King's temple.
"Can you read it?" Naga asked anxiously. "Can you?"
Filia nodded. "Yes."
"LUCKY!" Naga squealed in delight.
"What's it say?!" Shadow Lina asked.
"'To Serve Mankind,'" Filia read the title.
"Woah," Jeffrey commented. "Must be some book, huh?"
Filia opened it and began to read the first page.
Naga, meanwhile, was looking up at the sky and thanking Cepheid for her genius.
Right up until Filia started laughing.
Not only laughing…
Laughing HYSTERICALLY.
"What's so funny?!" Naga asked. "What is it?!"
Filia was bent over at the waist, laughing so hard she could barely breathe.
"Maybe it's a spell about humor?" Jeffrey asked.
"Maybe it's cursed!" Shadow Lina threw in.
Filia wiped tears from her eyes and pointed at the book. She managed to get one
syllable out, but started laughing again.
"What?!" Naga asked. "What could be so funny about the Claire Bible?!"
"It's…It's…" The dragon started laughing again. "It's not the Claire Bible!" she
cried. She bent over again, gasping for breath. "'To Serve Mankind!'" she cried out.
"IT'S A COOKBOOK!!!"
Naga went dead white. "What?" she gasped out.
"IT'S…IT'S…" Filia tried to get out.
Shadow Lina took the book and looked at one of the pictures. She turned green and
covered her mouth with her hand. "Oh God!" she cried, running off somewhere to throw
up.
"A cookbook," Naga muttered. "A dragon's cookbook…I really should have seen
that one coming…"
"Well…It's not a total loss," Jeffrey told her. "We did get that treasure chest."
The White Serpent sighed. "That should pay for a few days at least," she agreed.
"Come on, Unbeatable Heroes. Let's get going."
Filia was still laughing, clutching her sides.
"Jeffrey, Lina, pick up Filia," Naga ordered.
The two humans picked up the dragon by the arms and started to drag the laughing
Filia down the road.
"A COOKBOOK!!!" Hysterical laughing could be heard all the way back to town.
Filia sighed and rolled over in her bed. Her twenty percent cut of the treasure chest
gave her enough to buy a few shares in the local mercantile they had robbed just a few days
ago. It seemed to do good business. She had a bit of gold left over. Enough for a suite in
the local inn. The bed was soft and comfortable and warm…
And one hundred percent Mazoku free.
She shivered as she thought about what she had seen. During all her travels with
the trickster priest, he had always worn a carefree air about him. No matter how difficult
things seemed to get, he'd hold a smile and shrug it off.
Yesterday, she had seen something truly frightening.
Xellos enraged.
She swallowed nervously. Had she underestimated this whole situation? Xellos
had called his condition, "Peak." If it was substantial enough to have a name, what did it
truly mean then? Was it some kind of metaphysical imperative driving him to mate? He
said he had chosen her. Was that supposed to mean that he considered her already his on
some kind of physiological level?
When he had first told her, she had shrugged it off as just another of his sick games.
What if that had been a mistake? She had told him she'd just never give in. How long
would he wait before he decided he had waited long enough? What would he do then?
Choose another or…
She shivered. He said he wouldn't go that far, but what if by that time he no longer
had control of himself? She wished she knew more about the Mazoku. It was times like
this she missed her sister. Amara Ul Copt was, among other things, learned in Mazoku
practices and history.
Too bad she was a cultist flake…
She sighed and closed her eyes. Time enough to worry in the morning. Right now,
she had a comfortable bed. She wanted to sleep in it.
That's when she heard it.
Some…odd…unidentifiable…ANNOYING sound coming from outside her
window.
There! There it was again!
It kind of sounded like…
(Someone jumping up and down on a dead dradora…) she thought.
There it was again. She covered her head with her pillow, but the noise was still
there. She growled and got out of bed. Walking to her window, she opened it and looked
down from her second story suite.
Xellos was standing under her window, a silver bar about six inches long was at
his lips. He'd blow into one side, moving it from side to side and covering the other side
with his hand. It was a fair bet it was the source of the noise.
"Namagomi!" she cried down at him. "What do you think you're doing?!" She
tried to tone down her voice to an angry whisper, wary of waking anyone else.
Xellos looked up at her and smiled. "Ah! Filia chan! Just thought I'd give you a
midnight serenade with my harmonica! I've written several songs just for you, you
know…"
Three windows down, Filia heard Naga's voice cry out. "OH DEAR GOD! NOT
AGAIN!!"
"I call this one, 'Little Dragon.'" He placed the instrument to his lips and began to
play.
"Shhhhh!!!" Filia hissed at him, waving her hands anxiously. Other windows
around hers were beginning to light up. "You're waking everyone up! Stop it!"
Xellos ignored her and continued to play.
"Hey! Come on! It's the middle of the night!" one woman screamed from another
window.
"I've got to get up early tomorrow! Knock it off!" another shouted.
From somewhere else, a child began to cry.
Xellos played on.
"You're embarrassing me!" Filia cried. She realized he already knew that when
she saw a faint smile behind the harmonica. She growled.
From nowhere, a boot flew down at the trickster priest and bounced off a force
field.
"SHUT UP, YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT!" someone yelled.
"SHUT UP!"
"MAKE IT STOP!!"
"SIDE-KICK! THIS NIGHT AT THE INN IS COMING OUT OF YOUR CUT!!"
Filia sighed and rubbed her temples. She leaned against the window sill in defeat.
"I'm never going to get a good night's sleep ever again," she wept.
The Mazoku continued to play, various articles and debris hurled down at him from
the windows of the inn bounced harmlessly off his force fields, allowing him to serenade
his dragon far into the night…
To Be Continued…
Author's Note: Yes, "To Serve Mankind" is borrowed from one of the best episodes of
"The Twilight Zone," ever written. If you've never seen the episode, "To Serve Man," go
find it and rent it. ^_^
SHADOW LINA: Isn't love such a wonderful thing?! Mister Xellos likes Miss Dragon
Lady! IT'S SO CUTE!!!
FILIA: It is NOT cute! It's a horrible situation! I hate him! I hate him! I HATE HIM!!!
XELLOS: (Sighs longingly.) Did you hear that? She hates me…She really does…
SHADOW LINA: Awwwwwwwww!!!! Miss Dragon Lady likes Mister Xellos back, I
think!
FILIA: If you ever suggest such a thing again….I'll kill you…and eat you…I swear to the
Fire Dragon King here and now…
SHADOW LINA: (Whimpers.) I'm sorry!
Faces: After!
Part 7
Jealousy?!
Filia Struts Her Stuff!
Filia Ul Copt sighed in her sleep and tried to get comfortable. She had never liked
camping out. It was so hard to get comfortable in a sleeping roll on top of the hard earth.
She wished that they had gotten to a town with an inn before night had fallen, but that was
just their luck.
She could hear birds singing not far away. It must be morning. She rolled over
again and opened her blue eyes.
Violet eyes stared back at her.
"Good morning, Little Dragon!" Xellos greeted her, lying right next to her in the
bedroll. He held up a kettle and a cup on a saucer. "I made you some morning tea!"
Travelers on the road up to five miles away saw the explosion. Most, having heard
that Lina Inverse was in the general area, merely shrugged it off.
The group that walked down the main road towards Atlas City that day wasn't a
very happy one. The explosion from Filia's surprised outburst had singed their clothes and
destroyed most of their supplies.
Naga grit her teeth as she marched. Now she knew why she had never formed a
gang before. Jeffrey and Shadow Lina just looked miserable, soot and ash coating their
faces. Filia merely looked pissed off and kept shooting glares at the Mazoku walking next
to the dark-haired sorceress.
Xellos, on the other hand, looked no different than normal, aside from the fact that
he was too busy concentrating on the book in his hands to give his usual, carefree smile.
Naga leaned over and read the title of the book he was so intent upon.
"'Mazoku Are From Mars, Dragons Are From Venus,'" she read out loud.
Xellos looked up and smiled. "Yes, well, you're never too old to pick up a few
pointers."
She arched an eyebrow. "Side-Kick, I'm not sure it's a good idea."
Xellos blinked. "We don't have a No Fraternization Policy, do we?"
Naga laughed. "No, of course not! But I'm not sure we can stand many more
morning surprises like today's."
The Mazoku seemed to give this some thought. "It seemed to go perfectly fine to
me."
The sorceress face-faulted. "She blasted you! And US!"
He smiled. "Yes! An even better reaction than I had hoped!" She looked at him
quizzically. "You simply have no idea what a thrill it is to feel that much anger in one
place at a single instant," he told her.
"I'm not sure I want to get into this," Naga said, shaking her head.
"Probably best that you don't," Xellos told her, going back to his book. "It's a
wonderful ride for me, but eventually it'd kill you."
"Uh huh," was Naga's only comment. She looked up and sighed in relief at the
sight that met her. "A town! Thank god! Now we can get washed up and find something to
eat!"
"And how exactly will we pay for it?" Xellos asked her, his nose still buried in
that book. "My blushing bride incinerated all of our money."
The White Serpent growled, then smiled. "What are we worried about? I'm Naga
the White Serpent! I'm sure the citizens of this town will fall all over themselves to help
us out when they hear they have a genuine hero in their midst! OOOOHOHOHOHOHO!!!"
"Yes…." Xellos replied, still reading intently. "'Chapter Six, Wooing Your
Dragon…'"
Naga came flying out of the general store, landing on her face. The heavy-set man
standing in the doorway clapped the dust off his hands.
"Last time, lady!" he cried. "No money! No goods!"
Jeffrey and Shadow Lina helped the sorceress to her feet. Naga turned on the man
and adjusted her hair. "How DARE you?!"
By now four more men had shown up, ready to help the merchant with the riff raff.
"Do you know who I am!?" Naga cried. She posed. "I am NAGA THE WHITE
SERPENT!!"
"Hello there!" Xellos put in. The merchant and the other men looked at him and
blinked.
"Oh," Naga said exasperated. "And this is Xellos, my Side-Kick of Questionable
Worth."
Xellos stood behind Naga and faced them. From behind, Jeffrey, Shadow Lina, and
Filia saw the looks on the men's faces change to terror. A few horns and tentacles could
be seen sprouting from Xellos' head, and they could only imagine what kind of horror he
turned his face into for the men's benefit. In a flash, they took off running, screaming in
fear.
Naga smiled and nodded proudly. "They've heard of me."
"Your skill and reputation obviously precede you!" Xellos told her, his face back
to normal.
"Wow, Miss Naga! That was great!" Shadow Lina piped up.
Filia found a good sized tree and started banging her head against it.
"Now, then!" Naga announced, marching into the store. "Let's get the supplies we
need!"
"Miss Naga, isn't this stealing?" Jeffrey asked as the White Serpent loaded his
arms with a sack of rice.
Naga rolled her eyes. "Jeffrey, if we were STEALING, wouldn't the town
constables have shown up by now to stop us?"
"Well…yeah…"
"See?!" she asked. "The merchant left so that we could take what we need in
peace. Now carry this sack of dried meat while I grab that portable stove…"
Filia looked from side to side, checking for witnesses before hiding a box of tea
bags in her robes.
"Filia chan! How daring!" Xellos exclaimed, appearing right beside her. "I didn't
know you had a dangerous, criminal side!"
The dragon shrieked and drew her mace, accidentally knocking over some pots and
pans on display. "Wha…What are you talking about, namagomi!?"
He grabbed her and hugged her close. She cried out in disgust and struggled vainly.
Xellos didn't care. "We'll be on the run, you know," he told her. "Evading the law,
bounty hunters, the army! But they'll never take us alive, Filia chan! Never! It'll just be
you and I, living from one heist to the next!"
She decked him and sent him staggering back. He reappeared at her side a moment
later. "Filia chan!" he said with a blush, his hand on his face where she had punched him.
"And in public, no less!"
She screamed at him and stormed off.
Shadow Lina watched the scene in awe. She blinked and looked off in no
particular direction. "Love is weird," she commented to herself. She looked at one rack
and went starry eyed. "OOOH! THE NEW TEEN SORCERESS MAGAZINE!!" She
bounded off after a copy of the periodical.
"All right! Everyone got what they need?!" Naga asked, her arms overloaded with
goods, not all of them necessary. They all nodded. "Then let's move out!" As a group, the
Unbeatable Heroes marched out the door and down the street.
They were almost to the town limit when a man in expensive robes backed up by
six men with spears stepped into their path. Naga, unable to see over the stolen booty in
her arms, stopped when she felt Xellos grab her shoulder.
"What?" she asked. "What is it?"
The man in the robes was elderly, a town official by the looks of him. He cleared
his throat and began. "I can't help but notice that you just knocked over the Mercantile."
He arched an eyebrow.
Naga said nothing for a good minute. Then, "Prove it."
Everyone else sweatdropped.
"It's all right. We're not here to arrest you," the official assured her. "As a matter
of fact, we could use a band of thieves such as yourselves."
"Um, excuse me, Sir," Jeffrey broke in. "But we're not thieves. "We're
FLAMING HEROES!"
Naga dropped her stuff, turned, and grabbed the boy by the collar. "FOR THE
LAST TIME, WE ARE *NOT* FLAMING HEROES!!!"
"Whatever," the official said with a wave. "The point is, I have a task for you. If
you accomplish it, you get to keep the stuff you took plus whatever excess treasure you
find. All you have to do is steal one little item."
Naga's eyes sparkled. "Treasure?!"
Filia put her head in her hands. "Here we go again," she muttered.
The town official, who it turned out was the Minister of Social Sciences, was
named Hoven. After taking them back to his office, he kindly offered the group of
Unbeatable Heroes tea before sitting down behind his desk and getting to the point of the
matter.
"We have a problem," he told them. "A day's journey from here is a dragon."
Filia looked up and blinked.
"And you want us to slay it," Naga finished for him. "No prob, we'll be back in
time for di…"
"No, no, no!" Hoven told her. "You mustn't try to destroy it. It'll kill you all!"
Naga looked at him as if he were from another planet. "Riiiiiiiiight…" she replied.
"The dragon is actually a chimera created by the elves who used to live in this part
of the continent. It has scales made of pure orihalcon. No attack, magic or otherwise, can
pierce its skin."
"This old hat AGAIN?!" Naga asked in disgust. She shook her head. "So what do
you want us to do?"
"The Oridragon is a miser. He steals treasure and keeps it for himself. He's a
selfish, cruel beast!"
"Kinda like Miss Naga!" Jeffrey piped up. Naga threw him a glare and growled.
The boy went back to being silent.
"Once, when my department was transporting an ancient text here from Seyruun for
the museum, the Oridragon attacked the caravan, taking off with the book and all the
treasure that came with it."
Naga blinked. "What's so special about this book, anyway?"
Hoven paused, then told her. "It was written by an ancient dragon race. It concerns
the relationship between humans and dragons, and the dragon's role in our
society……….We think."
The band hit the ground. Naga climbed to her feet and placed her hands on the
man's desk. "YOU THINK?!"
"Well, yes…I never got a chance to look over the book and translate it. That's why
it was being sent here. No one has ever actually read it before. They say it was written by
one of the greatest dragons of all. But until we actually read it, we won't know."
The White Serpent smiled. "We'll take the job."
"So, why did we take this job again?" Filia asked as the group continued their
march east.
"Simple logic!" Naga announced. "First, there's the treasure…"
"Which is probably just a pretense to get us to go," Filia told her
"Of course! That won't stop us from getting as much as we can! But what I really
want is the book!"
"Why the book, Miss Naga?" Shadow Lina asked.
"There's only one book written by a powerful dragon that could be worth this much
trouble," the White Shadow explained. She stopped and posed theatrically. "THE
CLAIRE BIBLE!!!"
Shadow Lina blinked. "That sounds familiar," she remarked, her finger to her lip
in thought.
"Of course it's familiar!" Naga told her, exasperated. "It's the most famous spell
book in all of history!"
"Oooooh," Shadow Lina replied.
Naga started pulling her hair out, but got ahold of herself. "So the treasure is okay,
but if we get the book, we can write our own ticket…"
"But you said you'd return the book to Mister Hoven!" Jeffrey cried.
"And that's the beauty of my plan, Jeffrey," the sorceress told him. "We have
something he doesn't! A way to translate it!"
"How?" Shadow Lina asked.
"We have a dragon!" Naga cried, wrapping her arm around Filia. "Isn't that right,
o'l Deus Ex Machina?"
Filia sighed.
"We get the book, Filia translates it, and makes a copy for mys…er…ourselves!
Then we can sell the translated manuscript to the highest bidder! We'll be rich! And
Mister Hoven gets his original book back. By the time he can translate it and figure out
what it is, we'll have already sold our copy!"
The three of them stared at her.
Xellos, his nose still buried in his book, was the first to comment.
"Gee, Lucy, you think it'll work?!"
"No smart ass remarks!" Naga ordered in a growl. "Now what do you know about
this Orihalcon dragon?"
"Surprisingly, not much at all," Xellos confessed. "Outside my area, I'm afraid."
"Well, all we know is that it's impervious to attacks and that it's a man dragon,"
Shadow Lina piped in.
"Yes…" Naga mused. "A MAN dragon…" She turned and smiled at one member
of her party.
"What?" Filia asked. "What are you looking at?"
"Yeah," Xellos chimed in darkly. "What are you looking at?"
Naga's grin magnified. "A WOMAN dragon…"
"Oh no! No way! BAD idea!" Filia told her.
"I agree!" Xellos threw in, putting himself between Naga and Filia. "No fiance of
mine is going to associate with such a beast."
"I am NOT your fiance," Filia growled.
"Filia," Naga began, grinning. "You're a team player, aren't you?"
"I…Suppose so…"
"Then it's agreed! You'll…distract…the Oridragon, while we get the book!"
"And how do you intend I do that?" Filia asked, her eye twitching.
"Yes, just what are you suggesting my Little Dragon do?" Xellos asked, his eyes
narrowing.
"You're a female dragon!" Naga cried as if that explained it all. "Just go in there,
smile…flaunt your wingspan….flick your tail from side to side flirtatiously…"
Filia gasped in shock. "I do NOT just go and show off my tail! What kind of hussy
do you think I am!?" In her distress, the tail in question made an appearance, pink bow and
all…
"Filia, I understand that this might be uncomfortable," Naga told her. "But we
need you! If you don't go in there, I'm going to have to send in Lina and Jeffrey with no
distraction at all!"
"Huh?!" Shadow Lina cried in fright.
"Sometimes, Filia," Naga went on, posing dramatically, "A situation calls for us
all to give our best, to do things we wouldn't ordinarily do. Because people we care about
need us."
Filia sighed.
"So just put a bag over his head and do it for the team!" Naga finished.
"WHAT?!"
"Okay, you don't have to go quite that far," Naga quickly amended. "Just…use
your womanly charm to distract him for a bit. We'll take care of the rest."
"I really hate this plan," Xellos muttered.
"See?! Even Xellos is on board!" the White Serpent cried. Filia wasn't
convinced. "Okay, look at it this way," Naga tried again. "Twenty percent plus a ten
percent bonus after we sell the manuscript. At the going rate of Claire Bible manuscripts
and given their rarity, that could come out to about…" She did some math in her head.
"Close to ten thousand goldpieces." She smiled. "That's a place at the Seyruun Academy
of Sorcery for little Val…at least…"
Filia sighed. "Very well…"
Xellos growled.
"That must be his cave," Jeffrey said, pointing out the hole at the base of the large
mountain, right where Hoven said it would be.
"A cave," Filia grumbled. "How stereotypical…"
A roar from the cave's direction confirmed the assumption that it was the home of
the Oridragon.
"Side-Kick of Questionable Worth?" Naga asked. When Xellos didn't appear, she
huffed. "Off sulking, I guess."
"It must be hard on him," Shadow Lina remarked. "He must feel so horrible
knowing what Miss Dragon Lady is about to do."
"Finally, an upside to this damn plan," Filia mumbled.
"Are you ready?" Naga asked.
"No, but let's do it anyway," the dragon grumbled.
"We'll give you ten minutes to get properly acquainted, then Jeffrey and Lina will
go in for the book. I'll supervise from out here and provide back-up if it's needed."
"Fine, fine, whatever," Filia remarked. She took a breath and paused. "Jeffrey,
turn around."
"Why?" the knight asked.
The dragon blushed. "Just…turn around," she begged.
"Well, okay." Jeffrey turned his back to the blonde.
Filia closed her eyes. The jewel on her chest began to glow. She cried out as a
bright, golden light consumed her. The light expanded, growing larger and larger, then
subsided. Soon, Filia's dragon form stood before them.
The dragon sighed again and lumbered towards the cave, mumbling about her sanity
and how did she ever let them talk her into this.
"Good luck, Miss Dragon Lady!" Shadow Lina called out with a wave.
In a flash, Xellos appeared behind them, watching as the bow on Filia's tail
disappeared into the cave. The Mazoku grit his teeth and growled.
"Um…Hello?" Filia called out as she walked into the cave. She continued inside,
muttering, "Val chan, no matter what anyone says about your mommy, she did it because
she loves you…"
A snarl from inside made her stop in her tracks.
"Er…Is anyone there?" she called out. She poked her head into a chamber and
blinked. Light came down from a hole in the ceiling, the sunlight illuminating a king's
treasure in gold and gems inside. She blinked in shock. Naga would be pleased, at least…
Something moved from the shadows. She watched as a dragon almost twice her
size uncurled itself and started lumbering towards her. His scales were a gold-silver color
that sparkled in the sunlight from the ceiling. He snarled at her and rose up on his hind
legs, staring down at her.
Filia gulped and began to sweat. "Um…Hi…My name is Filia…"
He didn't answer her. He cocked his head and sniffed.
She took a step back and cleared her throat. How the hell was she supposed to do
this? "Um…Could you help me?" she asked. "My…er…I'm…um…far from home, and
I'm very tired and thirsty," she said, coming upon a plan. "Could you maybe…offer a
pretty girl something to drink?" she asked. She tried smiling.
The Oridragon stared at her.
"Uh…heh heh heh…" Filia laughed nervously. She flicked her tail from side to
side.
The Oridragon growled and started for her.
"Okay! Off you go!" Naga told them.
"Do we have to, Miss Naga?" Shadow Lina asked pitifully. "Dragons can be so
scary…"
"That's why I'm sending big, strong Jeffrey to protect you!" Naga told her.
Shadow Lina looked at Jeffrey and went starry eyed. Images of Jeffrey rescuing her
from an evil dragon popped into her head. He'd slay the evil beast, hold her in his arms,
lean over…
She squealed in delight. "Oh, Lord Jeffrey! How bold!"
Naga sweatdropped.
"Well…Okay," Jeffrey said, scratching the back of his head.
"Good! Now get going!" She gave them both a push towards the cave entrance.
The sorceress and the swordsman started walking. Naga sighed and shook her head. "I
always get the hard jobs…"
She turned, waiting for a response from Xellos, but found the Mazoku staring at the
cave entrance. His hands were wrapped around his staff, white-knuckled as half-inch
impressions were made in the wood by his fingers. His teeth were gritted in either pain or
anger.
"Side-Kick, I want you to start including more fiber in your diet. I'm worried
about you."
Xellos ignored her and continued to stare at the cave.
The Oridragon leaned down and nudged a half-eaten cow carcass, overrun with
flies and maggots, towards Filia.
The golden dragon looked down at the meat and sniffed in disgust. "Um…No
thanks. I had…rotting meat…for lunch…"
He narrowed his eyes at her and licked his lips.
Filia gulped and took a step back. "So…um…Where are you from originally?"
She took another step back. She heard something below her and looked down. Shadow
Lina and Jeffrey had just entered the cavern. They looked up at her. She eyed in the
direction of the treasure. Jeffrey nodded and gave her a thumbs up.
The Oridragon growled, prompting the female dragon to turn back to him. "I'm
sorry…Did you say something?" He responded by moving towards her.
Meanwhile, Jeffrey and Shadow Lina were making their way along the wall toward
the mountain of treasure. They started to search for the Claire Bible manuscript, a tiny
book in a sea of treasure. They began digging around in the gold and jewels, searching.
Filia saw this and knew she still had to keep the male dragon distracted. She
backed away from him and smiled. "So…What's your mother like?"
The Oridragon licked his lips again. Before she could react, he had slithered up
next to her. Filia gulped. She tried backing away again, but felt his tail moving up that
side.
"Hey, now! I don't move that fast!" she complained. She broke free and ducked to
the other side of the cavern. He growled at her and moved towards her, but warily this
time. Filia tried to come up with a plan…
Shadow Lina dug through a chest full of gems and sighed. "Nothing!"
Jeffrey tipped over a pot full of gold coins and shook his head. "Maybe it's not
here," he suggested.
"Ack! Hey!" they heard Filia cry out.
"Well, Miss Dragon Lady can't keep running away from Mister Dragon for very
long," Shadow Lina pointed out.
"Right, I'll keep looking." Jeffrey resumed digging through the treasure.
Shadow Lina decided to try something. She closed her eyes and held out her hand,
letting her powers lead her. "Great powers of eternity," she chanted, "Guide my hand to
what I seek most…" Her eyes closed, she allowed the magic gathered in her hand to lead
her. One step…Two steps…
Her hand reached down and grabbed something.
She opened her eyes.
Jeffrey looked over his shoulder and down at Shadow Lina's hand…
Which happened to be connected to his rear end.
"Um…" he said with a blush.
Shadow Lina began to turn red…then crimson…then purple… She sighed and
fainted dead away.
Filia saw Shadow Lina faint and Jeffrey's attempts to revive her. She sighed. The
Oridragon growled, and she looked back at her new would-be suitor. He was staring at
her in a way that made her blush in embarrassment. He took a step towards her.
"So…what's your favorite color?" Filia asked, backing away again.
The Oridragon snarled and dashed at her. Filia squeaked and rushed to her right,
running around a large pile of treasure. The Oridragon looked at her over the treasure and
suddenly rushed around the other side. The golden dragon "EEK!"'d and ran around the
pile of gold, keeping it securely between him and her.
"Don't come near me!" Filia cried. "I'm not that kind of girl! EEK!!" She ran
around the pile again. The Oridragon chased her around the gold pile like a Republican
senator chasing his secretary around his desk.
Meanwhile, Jeffrey was doing his best to wake up Shadow Lina. The petite
sorceress was still out cold, a small trickle of blood dripped from her nose.
"Jeez, Miss Lina!" Jeffrey exclaimed. "Wake up! Please!" He reached out and
grabbed a nearby book, using it to fan the young sorceress.
He stopped and blinked. His head turned and looked at his make-shift fan. He
couldn't read the characters on the cover, but it was the only book there.
"I FOUND IT!" he cried.
"Huh?" Shadow Lina muttered, her eyes opening.
"Look, Miss Lina! I found it!" He showed her the book proudly.
"That's wonderful, Lord Jeffrey!" she cried, snapping fully awake.
"We better get this to Miss Naga!" Jeffrey told her. She nodded.
"Wait. Do we have any time left?" the sorceress asked.
"Get away from me!" Filia cried. They turned and saw the golden dragon
throwing a handful of treasure over the pile at the Oridragon.
"A little, I think," Jeffrey told her.
"Let's grab some of this treasure first! Miss Naga will be so proud!" They started
filling their pockets with gold.
"AIIIIIIIIIII!!!" Filia cried, dashing to another side of the pile. "I don't even kiss
on a first date! Leave me alone!" Finally, in her fear, she called out,
"HELP!!"
Naga nodded sagely. "Everything appears to be going well," she noted. "Don't
you…" She turned to Xellos just in time to see him disappear. She blinked in puzzlement.
"Hmmm…I wonder what's wrong with him."
Filia felt her wings hit the wall and knew she was trapped. The Oridragon
continued towards her. "Stay back," she warned. "I don't want to hurt you!" It was an
empty threat, and she knew it. With those orihalcon scales, her Laser Breath attack might
as well be pepperoni breath.
She recoiled as she felt the male's hot breath against her golden scales. She knew
this was a bad idea! She knew it! Now if she was lucky, she might be able to pry this
disgusting male's paws off her and make a dash for the exit…
IF she was lucky…
She scrunched up against the wall and whimpered in frightful anticipation.
Suddenly, there was something between her and the Oridragon. She blinked.
The Oridragon blinked in shock and snarled at the intruder. Xellos, floating barely
a foot from his snout, snarled back, reached back with his staff, and swung, smashing the
dragon in the nose with it! The Oridragon went flying back through the air, striking the far
wall and collapsing. Boulders and stalactites fell from the ceiling, shaken down from the
force of the impact.
Filia gasped in shock. "Xellos?!"
"Did he touch you?" Xellos asked quietly, not turning to her.
"Huh?"
He turned to her, fury written all over his face. "DID HE TOUCH YOU?!"
She recoiled from the fire in his tone. Before she could answer one way or the
other, the Oridragon had returned to his feet. He opened his mouth, magic energy gathering
there.
"XE…" Filia cried, but before she could get the name out, the Oridragon's laser
breath lashed out at the trickster priest!
The blue bolt of energy struck the Mazoku dead on, reflecting off an energy barrier
he had erected around himself. Xellos turned and lashed out with his hand! A blast of dark
energy flew from his fingertips and struck the wall above the Oridragon's head. More
stone debris fell onto the dragon, forcing it to the floor.
Xellos disappeared in a flash of light and reappeared on the floor near the dazed
reptilian. The Mazoku marched toward him, his face a storm of anger and hate. He
grimaced at the dragon and looked down to find the beast's tail near his feet. He snarled,
raised his staff, and thrust downward, embedding the weapon into the beast's flesh,
THROUGH the orihalcon scales, and pinning it to the rock floor.
The Oridragon cried out in pain, a cry that doubled in magnitude and volume as
Xellos began to channel lightning through the staff and into the creature. He stopped for a
moment, then began again, black lightning running up the dragon's tail into the rest of its
body.
"Xellos! Stop it!" Filia cried.
The trickster priest either didn't hear her or was so deeply enraged he didn't care.
He blasted the Oridragon with another jolt of dark lightning.
Filia turned and saw Shadow Lina and Jeffrey running out of the cave with a chest
of treasure between them. She turned back to Xellos. A golden glow surrounded her as
she began to transform into her human body. As the transformation finished, the Oridragon
screamed again.
She rushed up to the priest. "Xellos! Please! Stop it! He's just an animal! He
didn't know any better! Please!"
He didn't turn to her; just stared down at the dragon hatefully.
She reached out and grabbed his shoulder. "Xellos! PLEASE!"
The Mazoku seemed to snap out of it and raised his head, turning to her. He smiled.
"Very well, Filia chan. If that's what you'd like." He pulled the staff from the dragon's
tail and started for the exit. Filia sighed in relief and started after him.
She swallowed nervously and looked at the back of Xellos' head. What was that
all about? She blinked as a rumble sounded throughout the cave. She looked up at the
ceiling, then at the walls at all the damage Xellos and the Oridragon had caused.
Filia squealed and started to run for the cavern's opening. Just as she and Xellos
were leaving, the ceiling collapsed, burying the treasure, the Oridragon, and everything
else in the cave under a few hundred tonnes of rock.
"Dear Cepheid," Filia gasped, looking at it.
"I'm sure he'll dig his way out," Xellos assured her, not even pausing to look at it.
She looked at him, still unsure of what to say to him, so she said nothing.
He disappeared as Naga, Jeffrey, and Shadow Lina were running up to her.
Naga thrust the book, a quill, and some paper into the dragon's hand. They had
barely given her fifteen minutes to recover from her ordeal, and now they expected her to
translate a book for them.
She was really starting to not like this job…
(It's Val's future,) she told herself. She looked at the book and read the title. She
DID understand the language. It was taught to her at the Fire Dragon King's temple.
"Can you read it?" Naga asked anxiously. "Can you?"
Filia nodded. "Yes."
"LUCKY!" Naga squealed in delight.
"What's it say?!" Shadow Lina asked.
"'To Serve Mankind,'" Filia read the title.
"Woah," Jeffrey commented. "Must be some book, huh?"
Filia opened it and began to read the first page.
Naga, meanwhile, was looking up at the sky and thanking Cepheid for her genius.
Right up until Filia started laughing.
Not only laughing…
Laughing HYSTERICALLY.
"What's so funny?!" Naga asked. "What is it?!"
Filia was bent over at the waist, laughing so hard she could barely breathe.
"Maybe it's a spell about humor?" Jeffrey asked.
"Maybe it's cursed!" Shadow Lina threw in.
Filia wiped tears from her eyes and pointed at the book. She managed to get one
syllable out, but started laughing again.
"What?!" Naga asked. "What could be so funny about the Claire Bible?!"
"It's…It's…" The dragon started laughing again. "It's not the Claire Bible!" she
cried. She bent over again, gasping for breath. "'To Serve Mankind!'" she cried out.
"IT'S A COOKBOOK!!!"
Naga went dead white. "What?" she gasped out.
"IT'S…IT'S…" Filia tried to get out.
Shadow Lina took the book and looked at one of the pictures. She turned green and
covered her mouth with her hand. "Oh God!" she cried, running off somewhere to throw
up.
"A cookbook," Naga muttered. "A dragon's cookbook…I really should have seen
that one coming…"
"Well…It's not a total loss," Jeffrey told her. "We did get that treasure chest."
The White Serpent sighed. "That should pay for a few days at least," she agreed.
"Come on, Unbeatable Heroes. Let's get going."
Filia was still laughing, clutching her sides.
"Jeffrey, Lina, pick up Filia," Naga ordered.
The two humans picked up the dragon by the arms and started to drag the laughing
Filia down the road.
"A COOKBOOK!!!" Hysterical laughing could be heard all the way back to town.
Filia sighed and rolled over in her bed. Her twenty percent cut of the treasure chest
gave her enough to buy a few shares in the local mercantile they had robbed just a few days
ago. It seemed to do good business. She had a bit of gold left over. Enough for a suite in
the local inn. The bed was soft and comfortable and warm…
And one hundred percent Mazoku free.
She shivered as she thought about what she had seen. During all her travels with
the trickster priest, he had always worn a carefree air about him. No matter how difficult
things seemed to get, he'd hold a smile and shrug it off.
Yesterday, she had seen something truly frightening.
Xellos enraged.
She swallowed nervously. Had she underestimated this whole situation? Xellos
had called his condition, "Peak." If it was substantial enough to have a name, what did it
truly mean then? Was it some kind of metaphysical imperative driving him to mate? He
said he had chosen her. Was that supposed to mean that he considered her already his on
some kind of physiological level?
When he had first told her, she had shrugged it off as just another of his sick games.
What if that had been a mistake? She had told him she'd just never give in. How long
would he wait before he decided he had waited long enough? What would he do then?
Choose another or…
She shivered. He said he wouldn't go that far, but what if by that time he no longer
had control of himself? She wished she knew more about the Mazoku. It was times like
this she missed her sister. Amara Ul Copt was, among other things, learned in Mazoku
practices and history.
Too bad she was a cultist flake…
She sighed and closed her eyes. Time enough to worry in the morning. Right now,
she had a comfortable bed. She wanted to sleep in it.
That's when she heard it.
Some…odd…unidentifiable…ANNOYING sound coming from outside her
window.
There! There it was again!
It kind of sounded like…
(Someone jumping up and down on a dead dradora…) she thought.
There it was again. She covered her head with her pillow, but the noise was still
there. She growled and got out of bed. Walking to her window, she opened it and looked
down from her second story suite.
Xellos was standing under her window, a silver bar about six inches long was at
his lips. He'd blow into one side, moving it from side to side and covering the other side
with his hand. It was a fair bet it was the source of the noise.
"Namagomi!" she cried down at him. "What do you think you're doing?!" She
tried to tone down her voice to an angry whisper, wary of waking anyone else.
Xellos looked up at her and smiled. "Ah! Filia chan! Just thought I'd give you a
midnight serenade with my harmonica! I've written several songs just for you, you
know…"
Three windows down, Filia heard Naga's voice cry out. "OH DEAR GOD! NOT
AGAIN!!"
"I call this one, 'Little Dragon.'" He placed the instrument to his lips and began to
play.
"Shhhhh!!!" Filia hissed at him, waving her hands anxiously. Other windows
around hers were beginning to light up. "You're waking everyone up! Stop it!"
Xellos ignored her and continued to play.
"Hey! Come on! It's the middle of the night!" one woman screamed from another
window.
"I've got to get up early tomorrow! Knock it off!" another shouted.
From somewhere else, a child began to cry.
Xellos played on.
"You're embarrassing me!" Filia cried. She realized he already knew that when
she saw a faint smile behind the harmonica. She growled.
From nowhere, a boot flew down at the trickster priest and bounced off a force
field.
"SHUT UP, YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT!" someone yelled.
"SHUT UP!"
"MAKE IT STOP!!"
"SIDE-KICK! THIS NIGHT AT THE INN IS COMING OUT OF YOUR CUT!!"
Filia sighed and rubbed her temples. She leaned against the window sill in defeat.
"I'm never going to get a good night's sleep ever again," she wept.
The Mazoku continued to play, various articles and debris hurled down at him from
the windows of the inn bounced harmlessly off his force fields, allowing him to serenade
his dragon far into the night…
To Be Continued…
Author's Note: Yes, "To Serve Mankind" is borrowed from one of the best episodes of
"The Twilight Zone," ever written. If you've never seen the episode, "To Serve Man," go
find it and rent it. ^_^