Author note: My first TSW fic (though definitely not my first fic!) Hein. Angst. They go so well together, ne? These are his thoughts as he holds the gun to his head up in space. I don't have his character perfect yet, but any attempt is good!
Well, have fun. I have something more interesting planned for my next TSW fic. It's gonna be funny (in true Phi tradition!) ^_^
Enjoy!
It's all my fault...
I know that it was all my fault. I know that people will look back, and come to see me as some kind of traitor; a monster just waiting to betray our people.
I am not evil. I am not a monster. But no-one understands that, and no-one will understand that I did what had to be done. My intentions were nothing but good. I never meant for it to run away from me; to rush out of control. It was a mistake; a grievous error. I was blinded by ambition and anger... I never meant for so much to be lost; for those who I fight to save, to lose their lives.
No. No-one understands. And that is why I will pay the ultimate price for my mistake. I will join those souls whose lives were ripped away by the Phantoms.
Death...
Would a monster be willing to sacrifice it's own life because of one mistake? Would a monster feel such pain and regret about the death it had caused? I think not.
I am not the villain here. I am more of a victim than anyone would imagine. I have lost what is dearest to me; leaving me with only the thirst for revenge. That desire drives me to succeed; to avenge those who have been taken away from me. I lost my family... The only people I have ever loved; the only people who truly mattered to me. I wasn't there to protect them...
I wasn't there to die with them...
Are they watching me now, from heaven? Are they waiting for me to be lost in this struggle? Or do they now see me as everyone else will come to see me; as some evil that brings needless death?
Everyone... Everything I touch gets destroyed by the Phantoms. Do they follow me; ensuring they are always there, ready to take away what is most important to me? My family... My career... Why do they choose to destroy my life, but never rip it away?
There is no point to my life; my very being. Why must I continue to live alone?
No. No-one will miss me. No-one is left to miss me.
If anything, I must punish myself for being such a coward. I fled the city, leaving them all to die.
I didn't even warn them...
It was my fault! And I held my pride over the lives of so many. And what is it worth now? My pride? Nothing. Even my death will be cowardly; up here, away from the threat of the Phantoms. I will never feel their cool embrace as they brush beside me, warning me before they rip my very being from my body. They may have defeated me. They may have taken everything from me. But my spirit will remain mine until the end.
I used to be a good soldier. A loving husband and father. A decent human being. But, they took it all away and twisted me into what I am now. They destroyed me.
I have nothing...
I am nothing...
Is this it? Is this how my life was supposed to play out? Will I never be able to destroy the Phantoms, once and for all; finally taking my revenge for all that they have taken from me. I have suffered because of them. Will I allow them to defeat me?
No! I cannot. They may have taken so much, but I still have on thing in my favour.
Zeus...
Even they cannot take that away from me. And that will be thier undoing.
I have nothing... Nothing left to lose...
Come now, Zeus. We shall show the Phantoms the sweet embrace of death that has eluded them for so long. Nothing will stop us.
It must be done...
Well, have fun. I have something more interesting planned for my next TSW fic. It's gonna be funny (in true Phi tradition!) ^_^
Enjoy!
It's all my fault...
I know that it was all my fault. I know that people will look back, and come to see me as some kind of traitor; a monster just waiting to betray our people.
I am not evil. I am not a monster. But no-one understands that, and no-one will understand that I did what had to be done. My intentions were nothing but good. I never meant for it to run away from me; to rush out of control. It was a mistake; a grievous error. I was blinded by ambition and anger... I never meant for so much to be lost; for those who I fight to save, to lose their lives.
No. No-one understands. And that is why I will pay the ultimate price for my mistake. I will join those souls whose lives were ripped away by the Phantoms.
Death...
Would a monster be willing to sacrifice it's own life because of one mistake? Would a monster feel such pain and regret about the death it had caused? I think not.
I am not the villain here. I am more of a victim than anyone would imagine. I have lost what is dearest to me; leaving me with only the thirst for revenge. That desire drives me to succeed; to avenge those who have been taken away from me. I lost my family... The only people I have ever loved; the only people who truly mattered to me. I wasn't there to protect them...
I wasn't there to die with them...
Are they watching me now, from heaven? Are they waiting for me to be lost in this struggle? Or do they now see me as everyone else will come to see me; as some evil that brings needless death?
Everyone... Everything I touch gets destroyed by the Phantoms. Do they follow me; ensuring they are always there, ready to take away what is most important to me? My family... My career... Why do they choose to destroy my life, but never rip it away?
There is no point to my life; my very being. Why must I continue to live alone?
No. No-one will miss me. No-one is left to miss me.
If anything, I must punish myself for being such a coward. I fled the city, leaving them all to die.
I didn't even warn them...
It was my fault! And I held my pride over the lives of so many. And what is it worth now? My pride? Nothing. Even my death will be cowardly; up here, away from the threat of the Phantoms. I will never feel their cool embrace as they brush beside me, warning me before they rip my very being from my body. They may have defeated me. They may have taken everything from me. But my spirit will remain mine until the end.
I used to be a good soldier. A loving husband and father. A decent human being. But, they took it all away and twisted me into what I am now. They destroyed me.
I have nothing...
I am nothing...
Is this it? Is this how my life was supposed to play out? Will I never be able to destroy the Phantoms, once and for all; finally taking my revenge for all that they have taken from me. I have suffered because of them. Will I allow them to defeat me?
No! I cannot. They may have taken so much, but I still have on thing in my favour.
Zeus...
Even they cannot take that away from me. And that will be thier undoing.
I have nothing... Nothing left to lose...
Come now, Zeus. We shall show the Phantoms the sweet embrace of death that has eluded them for so long. Nothing will stop us.
It must be done...