Author's Note: Thanks so much for the great replies!! I really appreciate them, and I'm so glad that you're liking this. This chapter was more difficult to write, as I'm still trying to set everything up for following chapters - so please bear with me. The next chapter should be up in a few days. Once again, feel free to e-mail me at AngelSDP@aol.com with questions, comments, thoughts...Thanks and enjoy!
Disclaimer: I'm in no way associated with Higher Ground...
Better Days
"I have walked too long in darkness/I have walked too long alone/blindly clutching fists of diamonds/that I found were only stones"
-Barbra Streisand, "Higher Ground"
Chapter Three
She hurried across the darkest section of campus, taking special care to avoid the lodge where any trace of light may expose her. She passed by the picnic tables, and for a brief moment, she paused to glance up at the dorms. And in that moment, a new feeling swept over her. It was a realization - an understanding of the pattern that was her life, an understanding that she was about to leave it all. She suddenly found herself wishing that she could be in there with them - cracking jokes at Juliette or letting Daisy read her cards. Regret immediately followed these thoughts, but she stubbornly pushed it away. What difference would it make if she weren't with them now? She wouldn't be there for long anyway.
And so, she took a firmer grip on her bag and zipped her dark sweatshirt up higher, trying to escape the sudden chill. She looked across the campus towards the trees. Twenty-five miles to the nearest town...Spending days trekking through the woods...It was okay, though. She had survived on the streets, and she could do it in the woods. She had Peter's tools now - and a wall that no one had broken yet.
The boy sighed as he scanned the area once again. There was still no trace of her. He wondered if she was ever going to show. The two had planned to meet at the docks right after lights out, but she was late. Okay, he thought. No problem; she was always late. But time was passing swiftly, and he knew that he was playing with fire.
"Yo, man, it's not my butt in trouble if you're caught." Auggie had warned him.
So, he looked to his other group member in silent plea, but the boy had just shrugged and resumed reading. He glanced at the clock before pulling on his shoes. They would cover for him, and they all knew it. After Jeff had checked in, the boy had immediately hurried down to the lake, knowing that the counselor would be preoccupied for the time being.
Five, ten, fifteen minutes had past, but there was no trace of her anywhere. The campus was dark, and he was alone. Filled with disappointment, he stood and began to walk across the deserted campus.
Shelby hurried past the woodpile, her eyes searching the grounds for anyone, anyone...It was almost instinct now - this cautiousness. Running away and living on the streets, she had learned never to get close, to always be aware. It was a part of her that would always remain.
She skirted past the light, keeping to the shadows. As she hurried by the stacks of wood, she raised her eyes and caught sight of the statue. She immediately slowed until she stood before it. So many times she had left the dorms during the middle of the night feeling suffocated. In the darkness, she would reach for her stash of cigarettes, but her eyes always turned to the statue, craving the solitude, craving the protection of someone who cared. Horizon had been the only place where she had felt safe.
"Fitting." She now muttered dryly as she gazed at the statue. She shook her head, trying to push the thoughts away, and turned to go - intent on leaving Horizon behind.
"Geeze!" Her hand flew up to her heart as she jumped. "Don't scare me like that." Shelby paused nervously, glancing up at the dorms. "I thought everyone was supposed to be sleeping." And then it dawned on her, and a smirk crossed her face. "Oh...sneaking out to meet the little Princess?"
He ignored her remark and nodded towards the bag on her shoulder. "You running?"
"What's it look like, Cowboy?"
"What for?"
"I'm trying to get out of kitchens tomorrow." Her sarcasm vanished as she forced an inviting smile. "You interested?"
Scott looked at her in surprise before shaking his head and turning around. "Forget it." She heard him mutter.
Shelby shrugged nonchalantly and began to walk away. "Fine."
"He's gonna know!" She heard him call after her. "He's gonna know you ran; he'll only bring you back."
She stopped then, staring at the dark woods ahead of her. Her head turned slightly as she answered him. "Do you think that's going to stop me?"
"You're not gonna make it." A pause. "You'll never make it out there."
At this she turned around, her eyes narrowed with growing indignation. He was standing but a few feet away from her, arms at his sides, watching her closely.
"I won't make it..." she repeated slowly. "I'm not Juliette, Scott." Her voice rose quickly in defense. Scott stepped back as he observed her increasing emotion. "I've been there, I've 'made it' on the street. I had to. It wasn't easy, but I survived. I can do it again."
"You could stay." He tried, his expression softening. "It can't be any worse here than it is out there," he continued. "You could always stay."
"No!" Shelby cried out. "I'm not going back, don't you get it?"
But he pursued, "Not going where?"
She realized what he was doing, and she clenched her fists in frustration. "Just - just leave me alone, Scott! Go. Go back to Juliette." She said the words in disgust as she shifted the bag on her shoulder. He remained silent, his eyes on her. She looked him over as she took a step backwards.
"I'll see you around."
Then she was running. Running away from her only sanctuary, her only peace of mind...
Disclaimer: I'm in no way associated with Higher Ground...
Better Days
"I have walked too long in darkness/I have walked too long alone/blindly clutching fists of diamonds/that I found were only stones"
-Barbra Streisand, "Higher Ground"
Chapter Three
She hurried across the darkest section of campus, taking special care to avoid the lodge where any trace of light may expose her. She passed by the picnic tables, and for a brief moment, she paused to glance up at the dorms. And in that moment, a new feeling swept over her. It was a realization - an understanding of the pattern that was her life, an understanding that she was about to leave it all. She suddenly found herself wishing that she could be in there with them - cracking jokes at Juliette or letting Daisy read her cards. Regret immediately followed these thoughts, but she stubbornly pushed it away. What difference would it make if she weren't with them now? She wouldn't be there for long anyway.
And so, she took a firmer grip on her bag and zipped her dark sweatshirt up higher, trying to escape the sudden chill. She looked across the campus towards the trees. Twenty-five miles to the nearest town...Spending days trekking through the woods...It was okay, though. She had survived on the streets, and she could do it in the woods. She had Peter's tools now - and a wall that no one had broken yet.
The boy sighed as he scanned the area once again. There was still no trace of her. He wondered if she was ever going to show. The two had planned to meet at the docks right after lights out, but she was late. Okay, he thought. No problem; she was always late. But time was passing swiftly, and he knew that he was playing with fire.
"Yo, man, it's not my butt in trouble if you're caught." Auggie had warned him.
So, he looked to his other group member in silent plea, but the boy had just shrugged and resumed reading. He glanced at the clock before pulling on his shoes. They would cover for him, and they all knew it. After Jeff had checked in, the boy had immediately hurried down to the lake, knowing that the counselor would be preoccupied for the time being.
Five, ten, fifteen minutes had past, but there was no trace of her anywhere. The campus was dark, and he was alone. Filled with disappointment, he stood and began to walk across the deserted campus.
Shelby hurried past the woodpile, her eyes searching the grounds for anyone, anyone...It was almost instinct now - this cautiousness. Running away and living on the streets, she had learned never to get close, to always be aware. It was a part of her that would always remain.
She skirted past the light, keeping to the shadows. As she hurried by the stacks of wood, she raised her eyes and caught sight of the statue. She immediately slowed until she stood before it. So many times she had left the dorms during the middle of the night feeling suffocated. In the darkness, she would reach for her stash of cigarettes, but her eyes always turned to the statue, craving the solitude, craving the protection of someone who cared. Horizon had been the only place where she had felt safe.
"Fitting." She now muttered dryly as she gazed at the statue. She shook her head, trying to push the thoughts away, and turned to go - intent on leaving Horizon behind.
"Geeze!" Her hand flew up to her heart as she jumped. "Don't scare me like that." Shelby paused nervously, glancing up at the dorms. "I thought everyone was supposed to be sleeping." And then it dawned on her, and a smirk crossed her face. "Oh...sneaking out to meet the little Princess?"
He ignored her remark and nodded towards the bag on her shoulder. "You running?"
"What's it look like, Cowboy?"
"What for?"
"I'm trying to get out of kitchens tomorrow." Her sarcasm vanished as she forced an inviting smile. "You interested?"
Scott looked at her in surprise before shaking his head and turning around. "Forget it." She heard him mutter.
Shelby shrugged nonchalantly and began to walk away. "Fine."
"He's gonna know!" She heard him call after her. "He's gonna know you ran; he'll only bring you back."
She stopped then, staring at the dark woods ahead of her. Her head turned slightly as she answered him. "Do you think that's going to stop me?"
"You're not gonna make it." A pause. "You'll never make it out there."
At this she turned around, her eyes narrowed with growing indignation. He was standing but a few feet away from her, arms at his sides, watching her closely.
"I won't make it..." she repeated slowly. "I'm not Juliette, Scott." Her voice rose quickly in defense. Scott stepped back as he observed her increasing emotion. "I've been there, I've 'made it' on the street. I had to. It wasn't easy, but I survived. I can do it again."
"You could stay." He tried, his expression softening. "It can't be any worse here than it is out there," he continued. "You could always stay."
"No!" Shelby cried out. "I'm not going back, don't you get it?"
But he pursued, "Not going where?"
She realized what he was doing, and she clenched her fists in frustration. "Just - just leave me alone, Scott! Go. Go back to Juliette." She said the words in disgust as she shifted the bag on her shoulder. He remained silent, his eyes on her. She looked him over as she took a step backwards.
"I'll see you around."
Then she was running. Running away from her only sanctuary, her only peace of mind...