Author's Note: Once again, I'm sorry for not getting this out sooner. Life is taking over and my writer's block isn't going away. Thanks to Trisha, though, for helping me out with this chapter. To answer someone's question - I am a Scott and Shelby fan, but they aren't together in this story so far. Also, I just want to emphasize that I'm not going in the order of the events that happened on the show, though lines from later episodes may have been used. In short, I'm placing lines in different contexts. I hope that everything makes sense. The next chapter will definitely be out tomorrow evening. Please, feel free to e-mail me at AngelSDP@aol.com with questions, comments, thoughts...Thanks!
Note: Memories are enclosed in asterisks.
Disclaimer: I'm in no way associated with Higher Ground...
Better Days
"I have walked too long in darkness/I have walked too long alone/blindly clutching fists of diamonds/that I found were only stones"
-Barbra Streisand, "Higher Ground"
Chapter Five
He got no sleep throughout the long hours of the night. He had remained in his office, attempting to get at least a few minutes of shut-eye on the couch, but within moments he was back on his feet, pacing before the window. Sophie had been in to check on him a number of times before he finally pleaded for her to go back to the house and rest herself. He would be fine, he had tried to reassure her. He would get some sleep as well, but he wanted to be there in the office just in case...just in case.
He had notified Curtis and the other counselors immediately. Curtis told him that he was grateful to be made aware, but "there's nothing we can do until sun up, Peter. So try to get some rest and we'll start the search first thing in the morning." He had promised to be the first to call if there was any sign of Shelby's whereabouts. This should have eased his mind - it should have. But night was ending, the phone lay silent, and Peter continued to pace.
"Don't tell me you've been in front of that window all night."
The man whirled around in surprise to see Sophie in his office door, a mug of hot coffee in her hands.
"I think I managed to get a few minutes sleep." He admitted ruefully.
Sophie frowned and held out the mug. "Here. I thought you might need this." She watched as Peter gratefully accepted the warm liquid before he returned his gaze to the window.
"It's almost dawn," he noted. "We should get going."
"Roger is already in town."
Peter looked up in surprise, but the young woman only shrugged. "Every minute counts, right?"
"Right." He set the mug down on his desk and shook his head in regret. "And we just wasted an entire night."
Sophie stared at the man in disbelief as he reached for his jacket. "Peter - you were right last night. It was late and it was dark. Searching under those conditions wouldn't have been good for either of you."
"I know, I know that Soph. I do. But that doesn't change a thing." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair - a gesture that she knew all too well.
"Oh no. Don't you blame yourself, Peter."
The man turned from the window, the tension quickly building inside of him. "I can't help it. I used to know, I used to know when they were thinking of running! I was always one step ahead of them."
"No one could have read Shelby's thoughts, Peter, not even you." She tried to console him. "You said it yourself that she became desperate and did the only thing she knew how to do." She paused and watched Peter. Arms folded across his chest, he tried to regain his composure. At her silence, he raised his eyes to her, and she opened her mouth to continue, "And now it's your turn - go find her."
The boy barely looked up from his book as Auggie emerged from the bathroom.
"Ah, so you're finally up, huh Meat?" He ran a towel over his wet hair. "Hope ya didn't get caught or nothing last night."
But he only remained silent, staring intently at the pages before him. Auggie lowered his arms to his sides and exchanged glances with Ezra. Ezra cleared his throat and shifted his attention to his fellow group member.
"So, Scott. How was your little rendezvous with Juliette?"
"She didn't show, okay? So just leave it." He finally uttered, never lifting his gaze.
The smile reappeared on Auggie's face as he seated himself on the edge of his bed. "Ah," he nodded knowingly. "Shot down, huh?"
"It happens to the best of us." At this, Auggie turned to Ezra, shaking his head while trying to suppress his laughter. Ezra merely shrugged innocently before turning back to the solemn boy across from him. "Well you'd better hurry up and come to breakfast, or Peter's going to be looking for you."
Only now did Scott look up from his book, but he didn't acknowledge the two boys as he stared past his group members to the few tall trees that were visible in the window.
The signs of early morning were all around her. Cars backed out into the street, the drivers wondering if they would beat the morning traffic. A trash collector hurriedly tossed the garbage bags into the back of the truck before it moved onto the next house. Children waited anxiously to board the yellow school bus that was slowly approaching. As she walked past the group on the sidewalk, her bag gripped firmly in her hand, she glanced down at the younger children. The parents were speaking to each other, hardly paying attention to the children. On the hand of one was a little girl with long blonde hair. Her wide blue eyes stared up at Shelby in wonder.
*"It's the same as when you saved Gracie..."*
A shy smile spread across the little girl's face as she walked past.
*"You're such a fraud. It's all an act."*
Shelby turned away.
She knew what she must have looked like. Her hair was disheveled; her coat zipped up to keep in the warmth. She felt weary and hungry, but this was nothing new to her. She kept walking, holding her head high and avoiding any stranger's gaze that happened to walk by.
*"Tell me, Shelby. Tell me what's going on."*
She had run twenty-five miles through the woods in the dark, with nothing but a flashlight and a compass to guide her way. The fact didn't escape her that she was running away again - she was always running.
*"We can find a way to keep you here - you don't have to fight this alone."*
She was nearing the town. Cars stopped at red lights and signs repeatedly warned pedestrians of the walking hazards. It was all familiar to her.
*"I am alone. I've always been alone."*
More people hurried by, trying not to be too late for their jobs or appointments. Ahead of her, a police car crossed through the intersection. Her eyes took in all of the activity. Yes, It was all too familiar to her.
Her thoughts immediately drifted back to Horizon. She had been there almost four months, but what had changed? She was back on the streets again - hungry, weary, and trying to escape the same demons alone.
*"No, Shelby. That fact changed the instant you stepped foot onto campus."*
Maybe that wasn't all true. She was different now; she had Peter's tools. She guessed that she had him to thank, for he had given her a second chance. She supposed she owed him for trying.
*"That's what we're here for."*
Her eyes turned to the flashing sign at the intersection, warning the pedestrians not to cross. Shelby turned and walked away.
Note: Memories are enclosed in asterisks.
Disclaimer: I'm in no way associated with Higher Ground...
Better Days
"I have walked too long in darkness/I have walked too long alone/blindly clutching fists of diamonds/that I found were only stones"
-Barbra Streisand, "Higher Ground"
Chapter Five
He got no sleep throughout the long hours of the night. He had remained in his office, attempting to get at least a few minutes of shut-eye on the couch, but within moments he was back on his feet, pacing before the window. Sophie had been in to check on him a number of times before he finally pleaded for her to go back to the house and rest herself. He would be fine, he had tried to reassure her. He would get some sleep as well, but he wanted to be there in the office just in case...just in case.
He had notified Curtis and the other counselors immediately. Curtis told him that he was grateful to be made aware, but "there's nothing we can do until sun up, Peter. So try to get some rest and we'll start the search first thing in the morning." He had promised to be the first to call if there was any sign of Shelby's whereabouts. This should have eased his mind - it should have. But night was ending, the phone lay silent, and Peter continued to pace.
"Don't tell me you've been in front of that window all night."
The man whirled around in surprise to see Sophie in his office door, a mug of hot coffee in her hands.
"I think I managed to get a few minutes sleep." He admitted ruefully.
Sophie frowned and held out the mug. "Here. I thought you might need this." She watched as Peter gratefully accepted the warm liquid before he returned his gaze to the window.
"It's almost dawn," he noted. "We should get going."
"Roger is already in town."
Peter looked up in surprise, but the young woman only shrugged. "Every minute counts, right?"
"Right." He set the mug down on his desk and shook his head in regret. "And we just wasted an entire night."
Sophie stared at the man in disbelief as he reached for his jacket. "Peter - you were right last night. It was late and it was dark. Searching under those conditions wouldn't have been good for either of you."
"I know, I know that Soph. I do. But that doesn't change a thing." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair - a gesture that she knew all too well.
"Oh no. Don't you blame yourself, Peter."
The man turned from the window, the tension quickly building inside of him. "I can't help it. I used to know, I used to know when they were thinking of running! I was always one step ahead of them."
"No one could have read Shelby's thoughts, Peter, not even you." She tried to console him. "You said it yourself that she became desperate and did the only thing she knew how to do." She paused and watched Peter. Arms folded across his chest, he tried to regain his composure. At her silence, he raised his eyes to her, and she opened her mouth to continue, "And now it's your turn - go find her."
The boy barely looked up from his book as Auggie emerged from the bathroom.
"Ah, so you're finally up, huh Meat?" He ran a towel over his wet hair. "Hope ya didn't get caught or nothing last night."
But he only remained silent, staring intently at the pages before him. Auggie lowered his arms to his sides and exchanged glances with Ezra. Ezra cleared his throat and shifted his attention to his fellow group member.
"So, Scott. How was your little rendezvous with Juliette?"
"She didn't show, okay? So just leave it." He finally uttered, never lifting his gaze.
The smile reappeared on Auggie's face as he seated himself on the edge of his bed. "Ah," he nodded knowingly. "Shot down, huh?"
"It happens to the best of us." At this, Auggie turned to Ezra, shaking his head while trying to suppress his laughter. Ezra merely shrugged innocently before turning back to the solemn boy across from him. "Well you'd better hurry up and come to breakfast, or Peter's going to be looking for you."
Only now did Scott look up from his book, but he didn't acknowledge the two boys as he stared past his group members to the few tall trees that were visible in the window.
The signs of early morning were all around her. Cars backed out into the street, the drivers wondering if they would beat the morning traffic. A trash collector hurriedly tossed the garbage bags into the back of the truck before it moved onto the next house. Children waited anxiously to board the yellow school bus that was slowly approaching. As she walked past the group on the sidewalk, her bag gripped firmly in her hand, she glanced down at the younger children. The parents were speaking to each other, hardly paying attention to the children. On the hand of one was a little girl with long blonde hair. Her wide blue eyes stared up at Shelby in wonder.
*"It's the same as when you saved Gracie..."*
A shy smile spread across the little girl's face as she walked past.
*"You're such a fraud. It's all an act."*
Shelby turned away.
She knew what she must have looked like. Her hair was disheveled; her coat zipped up to keep in the warmth. She felt weary and hungry, but this was nothing new to her. She kept walking, holding her head high and avoiding any stranger's gaze that happened to walk by.
*"Tell me, Shelby. Tell me what's going on."*
She had run twenty-five miles through the woods in the dark, with nothing but a flashlight and a compass to guide her way. The fact didn't escape her that she was running away again - she was always running.
*"We can find a way to keep you here - you don't have to fight this alone."*
She was nearing the town. Cars stopped at red lights and signs repeatedly warned pedestrians of the walking hazards. It was all familiar to her.
*"I am alone. I've always been alone."*
More people hurried by, trying not to be too late for their jobs or appointments. Ahead of her, a police car crossed through the intersection. Her eyes took in all of the activity. Yes, It was all too familiar to her.
Her thoughts immediately drifted back to Horizon. She had been there almost four months, but what had changed? She was back on the streets again - hungry, weary, and trying to escape the same demons alone.
*"No, Shelby. That fact changed the instant you stepped foot onto campus."*
Maybe that wasn't all true. She was different now; she had Peter's tools. She guessed that she had him to thank, for he had given her a second chance. She supposed she owed him for trying.
*"That's what we're here for."*
Her eyes turned to the flashing sign at the intersection, warning the pedestrians not to cross. Shelby turned and walked away.