"I suppose that's an option ... yes, I know that ..."
"What's an option?" Angel asked, hovering around Wesley as he spoke
to Giles.
"Hang on," Wesley said into the phone, then turned to Angel, "if you
were to go to Sunnydale."
Angel opened his mouth, then shut it, unsure as to whether he had
been about to flatly refuse or enthusiastically acquiesce.
"Just because you had some success with Buffy doesn't mean... I
concede that you are more fully trained in hypnosis, but the reason
for my inability to hypnotise Angel is based on more than my
skills... yes, or lack thereof... I certainly don't agree that the
hellmouth would help, more likely produce a complete shutdown... yes,
but the demonic nature is balanced with the soul... I'm more inclined
to believe in that, though if her dreams were triggered by an unknown
factor there is no guarantee it will work for Angel... is there some
kind of ritual going on in your back room? It seems terribly
noisy... what? well, that is a good point... the Tabden Chronicles?
I'm not sure... yes, we do have a copy, but not every assassin is
featured, you know... really? Whose link was that?... of course, she
was an admirable researcher... yes. Yes, of course. I'll let you
know. Goodbye."
Wesley noted down some details on the pad in front of him and then
looked up into Angel's eyes.
"We need a speaker phone," Angel said dryly.
* * * * *
"What's happened to that?" Riley asked, taking the melded photos from
Buffy before she could stop him.
She watched his face carefully for a reaction, but it remained blank
as he examined the pictures, running his fingers across the join,
turning it over and over in his hands.
"What's this mean?" he said in a level tone, turning to face the two
witches, who were flopped into chairs, greedily sucking down glasses
of water.
When Willow realised what he was waving at them, she got up and
hurried over, reaching for the picture.
"We were kind of hoping to talk to Buffy about that. Alone," she
said, casting a worried glance over at Tara.
"We're all friends here," Riley said with the faintest hint of
mocking. "You can tell us."
"Tell us what?" Xander asked, coming to join the huddle. He looked
at the picture over Willow's shoulder, and his eyes grew big. "Okay,
what the hell?" he said, trying to take it from Willow.
"I don't know what happened to it," Buffy said, taking the picture
from Willow and clutching it protectively.
"We do," Tara said softly. She came up on the other side of Buffy,
so that she and Willow subtly surrounded the Slayer, ready to lend
her their support.
"Feel free to enlighten us," Riley said, standing stiffly, arms
crossed over his chest. He wouldn't look at Buffy.
"This happened," and Willow indicated the picture Buffy
held, "because she and Angel are, well, they're ..."
"Twin souls," Tara filled in calmly.
"Soulmates," Riley muttered with loathing.
"That's another term for it, yes," Tara said, unruffled.
"There's a number of words for the phenomenon," Willow said, watching
Riley anxiously. "It means that their souls are linked."
"If it's considered to be a phenomenon, that means it isn't common,
doesn't it?" Riley said, meeting Willow's gaze with a head-on, angry
stare.
"More common than you might think," Tara said easily. "Soulmate
doesn't necessarily entail a romantic commitment, that's just the
most widely known aspect. We actually figured out Buffy's got a
number of soulmates."
"Great," Buffy said, trying to defuse some of the tension she felt
emanating from Riley. "I'm like a psyche-slut."
"It's types," Willow said, grinning, "from the way your line was
tangled with others, we think that you've picked up three twin
soulmates, which is the friend-type bond."
"Three ..." Buffy said slowly, thinking.
"Your line was joined at various times by mine, Xander's, and
Giles'," Willow said softly.
"Oh ..." Buffy breathed, overcome with affection, "you guys ..."
"Group hug!" Xander declared, sweeping up the two women in his arms.
They laughed and hugged him back.
"So how many lives have I put up with his bad jokes over?" Buffy said
affably, trying to focus on Tara's reaction to the news, which was
far more pleasant than Riley's.
"Around eight," Tara told her, "we couldn't tell exactly, but we
thought you've had about thirty lives."
"Which actually makes you pretty young, as far as these things go,"
Willow said cheerfully.
"How many have you had?" Buffy asked, curious.
"We don't know, because the spell wasn't specific to me," was the
answer, "but I've shared the same number with you as Xander has, and
our lines were tangled before they joined with yours."
"That's my girl!" Xander cried, enveloping Willow in another
enthusiastic embrace. Willow's eyes met Tara's over his shoulder,
and they shared a secret smile.
"Was my line there at all?" Riley said, hating himself for the
whining undertone in his voice, feeling completely alone surrounded
by his friends. Surrounded by Buffy's friends.
"Yeah," Willow said, her eyes flicking to Tara.
"Companion soulmate," Tara picked up, "one who crosses our lives to
teach us something, or share something with us, and then ..."
"Leaves," he finished bitterly.
"A companion soulmate can become a twin soulmate in the next life,"
Willow interjected, unhappy at the desolation obvious in Riley's
slouch. Despite being aware that his relationship with Buffy would
never be complete while his love was not reciprocated - and she knew
that it wasn't - she liked the former commando.
But then, she'd liked Angel, and look how that had gone; he and Buffy
had been first bound together by destiny then torn apart by it.
Her statement did serve to brighten Riley. "So this could be our
first time ..." he said hopefully, reaching for Buffy's hand.
She took it, squeezed it, and dropped it within the space of a few
seconds.
"Maybe," she said with a lukewarm smile, but she could not quite meet
his eyes and the hand that had clasped his so briefly returned
rapidly to the photographs of her and Angel.
* * * * *
"So, I'm sure you're eager for a chance to return to the homestead by
now," Wesley began, leaning over Cordelia's desk.
She looked up from the computer, her brow furrowed.
"What?"
"Visit home," he clarified.
"Ohhh," she said. "No."
"Why not?" Wesley said.
"Why do you want me to?" she countered.
He sighed and got up, beginning to pace the floor.
"You know that the hypnosis was not entirely successful."
"Not at all successful, I think that was," she reminded him, "and if
you're going to pace like that you should ask Angel to loan you his
coat again."
He shot her a sharp look, but he did stop pacing.
"Giles has requested that Angel go up to Sunnydale so that *he* can
try the hypnosis on him."
"And my presence is required because ...?" she asked, looking up at
him sceptically.
"It's not required," Wesley stated simply, "more a case of it being
desired. It will be hard for... both Angel and myself to simply walk
back into their lives in Sunnydale."
"And you think *I* would make it easier," Cordy said. "Me. Who
doesn't get on with the pinnacle of that group, the Slayer herself,
used to date the requisite goofy guy, who by the way is now dating an
ex-demon who lost her powers through a wish I apparently made, and
with whom I had a very messy breakup involving his infidelity with a
girl I used to taunt. I can really see myself smoothing your way
there, Wes."
"You may have a point," he said worriedly.
"Were you just going to shut up shop here for a couple of weeks or
whatever?" Cordelia demanded.
"Well, yes, obviously," Wesley said, "if Angel isn't here to do the
actual demon fighting..."
"Then I should just say no, thanks, sorry we can't save you to the
subjects of those mindnumbing messages from the Powers That Be I get
occasionally?" she said.
"No?" Wesley tried.
"No!" she said, standing up. "It's Angel's job to look after those
people."
"It's my job to protect the innocent," Angel said, coming forward
from the shadows.
"Damn! I thought we broke him of the in-house lurking," Cordelia
muttered.
"And it strikes me that the best way to do that right now is to help
Buffy," he said, pretending he hadn't heard her comment, though one
corner of his mouth quirked up into a smile.
"Yeah," Cordy said, "how is that again?"
"She's the Slayer," he said simply, shrugging.
"You're going, aren't you?" she said softly.
"Yeah," he said.
She came over to stand in front of him, speaking to him quietly while
Wesley perched on the desk.
"To see her with her new boyfriend?" she said.
She noticed the visible flinch, the tiny tensing of the muscles that
told her just how very much Angel wasn't looking forward to that
prospect - but saw also the steel resolve and very basic, very
familiar concern for Buffy that would make him endure it.
"I have to," he said, almost inaudibly.
She gave him a tiny smile. "When are we leaving?"
* * * * *
"Do you want me to explain that now?" Willow said softly to Buffy,
sitting down by the Slayer in their dorm room.
Buffy was staring at the melded photos, which she had retrieved where
she had briefly stashed it in her bag to escape the attentions of
Riley and Xander; pleased with their own roles in the extended The
Lives and Loves of Buffy Summers, they had forced the others into an
impromptu celebration at the Bronze. Giles had declined to join
them, but had given Buffy a rare hug when he heard that his line had
been twined with hers.
"Yeah. Is this where I hear about the soulmate that does entail a
romantic commitment?" Buffy said.
"Yeah, it is," Willow answered, watching Buffy closely to gauge her
reaction. She didn't betray one, so the witch continued.
"The twin flame soulmate bond is the one everyone knows about, the
whole electric-current-sparkage-thing, unspoken bond, two halves of
the same soul, all that... a lot of lifetimes together is
characteristic of it. Real romance novel stuff."
"Romance novel?" Buffy echoed with a disbelieving look.
"Maybe not now," Willow said, choosing her words carefully, "but it
doesn't mean all your lives together have been bad. You evolve
together through your lives. That's kind of the whole point."
"Forever. That's the whole point," Buffy said, stretching to
remember where the words had come from... she remembered a beach,
strong, familiar arms keeping her safe. "Home," she said.
"Yeah," Willow said. "Did you... know, the first time you saw Angel?"
"That I loved him?" Buffy said, a wistful smile gracing her
lips. "Not really. He told me once that he knew right away, but for
me... no. No, I didn't. But he got under my skin then."
"And he hasn't left," Willow said.
"Oh, he has," Buffy said bitingly, the smile disappearing, "don't you
remember?"
"I mean, he's still in you," Willow said gently.
Buffy's eyes filled with tears and Willow pulled her friend's head to
her shoulder, wrapping an arm around Buffy's own, thin shoulders and
rocking her.
"I told Giles the other day I didn't have repressed Angel issues and
it was true," Buffy said through her tears, "and now I'm just getting
new ones." She half-laughed and hiccuped at the same time.
"Overcoming problems is part of it too," Willow murmured.
"But we didn't overcome!" Buffy said, sitting up. "We ignored, or we
avoided, but we never faced anything. Not really."
"Angelus? Faith?" Willow suggested, able to think of a hundred other
examples.
"We never talked about Angelus," Buffy said emptily, "or Faith,
except for last spring when we argued. We walked away."
"I thought you agreed with his decision to leave," Willow said.
"I did. I do. But I never thought..." Buffy took a deep, hitching
breath. "I never really thought of it as over, you know?"
"Like if you round a corner in India in fifty years and he's there,
you won't be surprised?" Willow said, smiling gently.
"Yeah. How'd you -"
"That's what I told Oz," Willow said, able now to think of the
werewolf with deep affection; some part of herself she knew he would
always hold.
"You get it," Buffy said.
"Oh, I don't know that Oz and I were twin flames," Willow said, "but
there was a connection, yeah."
"Yeah, there was," Buffy agreed, smiling at Willow. "You guys were
good together." Unspoken was the sentence 'not like me and Angel'.
"So were you and Angel," Willow said strongly. "When you were... I
mean, before it went... before he went bad, I've never seen anything
like you two. Do you want to know what your lines looked like
together?"
Buffy looked at the picture lying on the bed. "Anything like that?"
"Yeah," Willow said, "fused. Like, completely entangled... we had
some trouble figuring where yours ended and his started. You two are
destined for each other in a big way, Buffy. Whatever you two bring
about in this life, you have to remember that."
"I will," Buffy said, tracing her fingers lightly over Angel's face
in the picture. "I know."
* * * * *
"What's an option?" Angel asked, hovering around Wesley as he spoke
to Giles.
"Hang on," Wesley said into the phone, then turned to Angel, "if you
were to go to Sunnydale."
Angel opened his mouth, then shut it, unsure as to whether he had
been about to flatly refuse or enthusiastically acquiesce.
"Just because you had some success with Buffy doesn't mean... I
concede that you are more fully trained in hypnosis, but the reason
for my inability to hypnotise Angel is based on more than my
skills... yes, or lack thereof... I certainly don't agree that the
hellmouth would help, more likely produce a complete shutdown... yes,
but the demonic nature is balanced with the soul... I'm more inclined
to believe in that, though if her dreams were triggered by an unknown
factor there is no guarantee it will work for Angel... is there some
kind of ritual going on in your back room? It seems terribly
noisy... what? well, that is a good point... the Tabden Chronicles?
I'm not sure... yes, we do have a copy, but not every assassin is
featured, you know... really? Whose link was that?... of course, she
was an admirable researcher... yes. Yes, of course. I'll let you
know. Goodbye."
Wesley noted down some details on the pad in front of him and then
looked up into Angel's eyes.
"We need a speaker phone," Angel said dryly.
* * * * *
"What's happened to that?" Riley asked, taking the melded photos from
Buffy before she could stop him.
She watched his face carefully for a reaction, but it remained blank
as he examined the pictures, running his fingers across the join,
turning it over and over in his hands.
"What's this mean?" he said in a level tone, turning to face the two
witches, who were flopped into chairs, greedily sucking down glasses
of water.
When Willow realised what he was waving at them, she got up and
hurried over, reaching for the picture.
"We were kind of hoping to talk to Buffy about that. Alone," she
said, casting a worried glance over at Tara.
"We're all friends here," Riley said with the faintest hint of
mocking. "You can tell us."
"Tell us what?" Xander asked, coming to join the huddle. He looked
at the picture over Willow's shoulder, and his eyes grew big. "Okay,
what the hell?" he said, trying to take it from Willow.
"I don't know what happened to it," Buffy said, taking the picture
from Willow and clutching it protectively.
"We do," Tara said softly. She came up on the other side of Buffy,
so that she and Willow subtly surrounded the Slayer, ready to lend
her their support.
"Feel free to enlighten us," Riley said, standing stiffly, arms
crossed over his chest. He wouldn't look at Buffy.
"This happened," and Willow indicated the picture Buffy
held, "because she and Angel are, well, they're ..."
"Twin souls," Tara filled in calmly.
"Soulmates," Riley muttered with loathing.
"That's another term for it, yes," Tara said, unruffled.
"There's a number of words for the phenomenon," Willow said, watching
Riley anxiously. "It means that their souls are linked."
"If it's considered to be a phenomenon, that means it isn't common,
doesn't it?" Riley said, meeting Willow's gaze with a head-on, angry
stare.
"More common than you might think," Tara said easily. "Soulmate
doesn't necessarily entail a romantic commitment, that's just the
most widely known aspect. We actually figured out Buffy's got a
number of soulmates."
"Great," Buffy said, trying to defuse some of the tension she felt
emanating from Riley. "I'm like a psyche-slut."
"It's types," Willow said, grinning, "from the way your line was
tangled with others, we think that you've picked up three twin
soulmates, which is the friend-type bond."
"Three ..." Buffy said slowly, thinking.
"Your line was joined at various times by mine, Xander's, and
Giles'," Willow said softly.
"Oh ..." Buffy breathed, overcome with affection, "you guys ..."
"Group hug!" Xander declared, sweeping up the two women in his arms.
They laughed and hugged him back.
"So how many lives have I put up with his bad jokes over?" Buffy said
affably, trying to focus on Tara's reaction to the news, which was
far more pleasant than Riley's.
"Around eight," Tara told her, "we couldn't tell exactly, but we
thought you've had about thirty lives."
"Which actually makes you pretty young, as far as these things go,"
Willow said cheerfully.
"How many have you had?" Buffy asked, curious.
"We don't know, because the spell wasn't specific to me," was the
answer, "but I've shared the same number with you as Xander has, and
our lines were tangled before they joined with yours."
"That's my girl!" Xander cried, enveloping Willow in another
enthusiastic embrace. Willow's eyes met Tara's over his shoulder,
and they shared a secret smile.
"Was my line there at all?" Riley said, hating himself for the
whining undertone in his voice, feeling completely alone surrounded
by his friends. Surrounded by Buffy's friends.
"Yeah," Willow said, her eyes flicking to Tara.
"Companion soulmate," Tara picked up, "one who crosses our lives to
teach us something, or share something with us, and then ..."
"Leaves," he finished bitterly.
"A companion soulmate can become a twin soulmate in the next life,"
Willow interjected, unhappy at the desolation obvious in Riley's
slouch. Despite being aware that his relationship with Buffy would
never be complete while his love was not reciprocated - and she knew
that it wasn't - she liked the former commando.
But then, she'd liked Angel, and look how that had gone; he and Buffy
had been first bound together by destiny then torn apart by it.
Her statement did serve to brighten Riley. "So this could be our
first time ..." he said hopefully, reaching for Buffy's hand.
She took it, squeezed it, and dropped it within the space of a few
seconds.
"Maybe," she said with a lukewarm smile, but she could not quite meet
his eyes and the hand that had clasped his so briefly returned
rapidly to the photographs of her and Angel.
* * * * *
"So, I'm sure you're eager for a chance to return to the homestead by
now," Wesley began, leaning over Cordelia's desk.
She looked up from the computer, her brow furrowed.
"What?"
"Visit home," he clarified.
"Ohhh," she said. "No."
"Why not?" Wesley said.
"Why do you want me to?" she countered.
He sighed and got up, beginning to pace the floor.
"You know that the hypnosis was not entirely successful."
"Not at all successful, I think that was," she reminded him, "and if
you're going to pace like that you should ask Angel to loan you his
coat again."
He shot her a sharp look, but he did stop pacing.
"Giles has requested that Angel go up to Sunnydale so that *he* can
try the hypnosis on him."
"And my presence is required because ...?" she asked, looking up at
him sceptically.
"It's not required," Wesley stated simply, "more a case of it being
desired. It will be hard for... both Angel and myself to simply walk
back into their lives in Sunnydale."
"And you think *I* would make it easier," Cordy said. "Me. Who
doesn't get on with the pinnacle of that group, the Slayer herself,
used to date the requisite goofy guy, who by the way is now dating an
ex-demon who lost her powers through a wish I apparently made, and
with whom I had a very messy breakup involving his infidelity with a
girl I used to taunt. I can really see myself smoothing your way
there, Wes."
"You may have a point," he said worriedly.
"Were you just going to shut up shop here for a couple of weeks or
whatever?" Cordelia demanded.
"Well, yes, obviously," Wesley said, "if Angel isn't here to do the
actual demon fighting..."
"Then I should just say no, thanks, sorry we can't save you to the
subjects of those mindnumbing messages from the Powers That Be I get
occasionally?" she said.
"No?" Wesley tried.
"No!" she said, standing up. "It's Angel's job to look after those
people."
"It's my job to protect the innocent," Angel said, coming forward
from the shadows.
"Damn! I thought we broke him of the in-house lurking," Cordelia
muttered.
"And it strikes me that the best way to do that right now is to help
Buffy," he said, pretending he hadn't heard her comment, though one
corner of his mouth quirked up into a smile.
"Yeah," Cordy said, "how is that again?"
"She's the Slayer," he said simply, shrugging.
"You're going, aren't you?" she said softly.
"Yeah," he said.
She came over to stand in front of him, speaking to him quietly while
Wesley perched on the desk.
"To see her with her new boyfriend?" she said.
She noticed the visible flinch, the tiny tensing of the muscles that
told her just how very much Angel wasn't looking forward to that
prospect - but saw also the steel resolve and very basic, very
familiar concern for Buffy that would make him endure it.
"I have to," he said, almost inaudibly.
She gave him a tiny smile. "When are we leaving?"
* * * * *
"Do you want me to explain that now?" Willow said softly to Buffy,
sitting down by the Slayer in their dorm room.
Buffy was staring at the melded photos, which she had retrieved where
she had briefly stashed it in her bag to escape the attentions of
Riley and Xander; pleased with their own roles in the extended The
Lives and Loves of Buffy Summers, they had forced the others into an
impromptu celebration at the Bronze. Giles had declined to join
them, but had given Buffy a rare hug when he heard that his line had
been twined with hers.
"Yeah. Is this where I hear about the soulmate that does entail a
romantic commitment?" Buffy said.
"Yeah, it is," Willow answered, watching Buffy closely to gauge her
reaction. She didn't betray one, so the witch continued.
"The twin flame soulmate bond is the one everyone knows about, the
whole electric-current-sparkage-thing, unspoken bond, two halves of
the same soul, all that... a lot of lifetimes together is
characteristic of it. Real romance novel stuff."
"Romance novel?" Buffy echoed with a disbelieving look.
"Maybe not now," Willow said, choosing her words carefully, "but it
doesn't mean all your lives together have been bad. You evolve
together through your lives. That's kind of the whole point."
"Forever. That's the whole point," Buffy said, stretching to
remember where the words had come from... she remembered a beach,
strong, familiar arms keeping her safe. "Home," she said.
"Yeah," Willow said. "Did you... know, the first time you saw Angel?"
"That I loved him?" Buffy said, a wistful smile gracing her
lips. "Not really. He told me once that he knew right away, but for
me... no. No, I didn't. But he got under my skin then."
"And he hasn't left," Willow said.
"Oh, he has," Buffy said bitingly, the smile disappearing, "don't you
remember?"
"I mean, he's still in you," Willow said gently.
Buffy's eyes filled with tears and Willow pulled her friend's head to
her shoulder, wrapping an arm around Buffy's own, thin shoulders and
rocking her.
"I told Giles the other day I didn't have repressed Angel issues and
it was true," Buffy said through her tears, "and now I'm just getting
new ones." She half-laughed and hiccuped at the same time.
"Overcoming problems is part of it too," Willow murmured.
"But we didn't overcome!" Buffy said, sitting up. "We ignored, or we
avoided, but we never faced anything. Not really."
"Angelus? Faith?" Willow suggested, able to think of a hundred other
examples.
"We never talked about Angelus," Buffy said emptily, "or Faith,
except for last spring when we argued. We walked away."
"I thought you agreed with his decision to leave," Willow said.
"I did. I do. But I never thought..." Buffy took a deep, hitching
breath. "I never really thought of it as over, you know?"
"Like if you round a corner in India in fifty years and he's there,
you won't be surprised?" Willow said, smiling gently.
"Yeah. How'd you -"
"That's what I told Oz," Willow said, able now to think of the
werewolf with deep affection; some part of herself she knew he would
always hold.
"You get it," Buffy said.
"Oh, I don't know that Oz and I were twin flames," Willow said, "but
there was a connection, yeah."
"Yeah, there was," Buffy agreed, smiling at Willow. "You guys were
good together." Unspoken was the sentence 'not like me and Angel'.
"So were you and Angel," Willow said strongly. "When you were... I
mean, before it went... before he went bad, I've never seen anything
like you two. Do you want to know what your lines looked like
together?"
Buffy looked at the picture lying on the bed. "Anything like that?"
"Yeah," Willow said, "fused. Like, completely entangled... we had
some trouble figuring where yours ended and his started. You two are
destined for each other in a big way, Buffy. Whatever you two bring
about in this life, you have to remember that."
"I will," Buffy said, tracing her fingers lightly over Angel's face
in the picture. "I know."
* * * * *