Disclaimer: I own nothing but the annoying host, Nick Lark, and the plot, but then again, it's not really a plot and it's not completely mine. HUGE THANKS to Kungfu_Kitty for the idea! :) The other characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the WB.
Finished: April 22, 2001
A/N: This is written as if the characters were actually played by themselves. But you'd probably have figured it out for yourself anyway.
~~ Funny Outtakes You Never See On Buffy ~~
Nick: Hello, and welcome to "Funny Outtakes You Never See On Buffy" where we show funny outtakes you never see on "Buffy". I'm your host, Nick Lark. The first scene you'll be watching is from the episode "Angel", way back in its first season:
~~~~~~~~~~~
Angel: I'm older than you and this can't ever...I better go.
Buffy: How much older?
Angel: I should...
Buffy: (approaches him) ...go...you said...
(They kiss. They kiss again. She puts her arm around him. The kiss goes on for several moments. Angel suddenly pulls back and looks away.)
Buffy: What? What is it? What's wrong?
(He turns to face her and growls. She sees he has his vampire face and screams. He takes a last look at her and jumps toward the window. He hits the closed window headfirst and groans in pain, slumping to the floor.)
Director: Cut! Okay, who forgot to open the window?
Buffy: (helps Angel stand up) Are you okay, Angel? Can somebody get him some blood?
~~~~~~~~~~~
Nick: (Forces a laugh) Ouch! Now that's Motrin pain. Our next is a scene from a season four episode entitled "Harsh Light of Day", let's see what happens:
~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy: I'm sorry.
Parker: Look, I really have to go now.
(Parker turns to walk away, leaving Buffy looking sad.)
Buffy: Parker, wait. I did this all wrong.
Parker: No, it's cool. We'll hook up later.
(Pained screaming is heard in the background and Spike runs in front of the camera to a nearby tree for shelter from the bright sun. Smoke rises up from his body and he looks quite annoyed. The cast and crew begin to laugh hysterically.)
Director: Cut! What the hell was that about?
Spike: Very funny, guys. Now where is the *real* Gem of Amarra?
~~~~~~~~~~~
Nick: (Forces a laugh) Talk about a practical joke! I wonder if vampires get Workman's Compensation. Well anyway, the following two outtakes are from "Something Blue", also in season four. Take a look:
~~~~~~~~~~~
Spike: I get this spell reversed, they'll be finding your body for weeks.
Buffy: Oh, make a move...please. I'm dying for a good lay.
(The cast and crew burst out laughing.)
Director: Cut! Let's try that again!
Buffy: (Slaps her forehead) Slay! Slay! Sorry, the whole 'car conversation' with Riley is still in my head.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Willow: Let the healing power begin. Let my will be safe again. As these words of peace are spoken, let this harmful spell be broken.
(Thunder crashes and lightening flashes. Suddenly, the demons disappear. Buffy and Spike continue kissing.)
Director: Cut! Buffy and Spike, you are supposed to stop kissing and show your disgust for each other. This is the fifth take we've done and you two just don't stop! Let's try it again, and for Pete's sake, *stop* this time!
~~~~~~~~~~~
Nick: (Forces a laugh) Well, those certainly were bloopers, or were they? Well, if you liked those, then you're bound to enjoy this next one from "The Yoko Factor" from, you guessed it, season four:
~~~~~~~~~~~
Angel: (Stops and turns around to face Buffy) Oh, and Riley.
Buffy: Yeah?
Angel: I don't like him.
Buffy: (Smiles) Yeah me neither, let's go back to your place.
(She runs to him and they leave the dormitory with arms wrapped around each other's waists.)
Director: Cut! What is it with you this season, Buffy? Let's try that again and please stick to the script!
~~~~~~~~~~~
Nick: (Forces another laugh) You gotta love those crazy kids! I know I do. Well, I hope you all enjoyed tonight's presentation. I'm Nick Lark for "Funny Outtakes You Never See On Buffy". I hope to see you all again, good night!
Finished: April 22, 2001
A/N: This is written as if the characters were actually played by themselves. But you'd probably have figured it out for yourself anyway.
~~ Funny Outtakes You Never See On Buffy ~~
Nick: Hello, and welcome to "Funny Outtakes You Never See On Buffy" where we show funny outtakes you never see on "Buffy". I'm your host, Nick Lark. The first scene you'll be watching is from the episode "Angel", way back in its first season:
~~~~~~~~~~~
Angel: I'm older than you and this can't ever...I better go.
Buffy: How much older?
Angel: I should...
Buffy: (approaches him) ...go...you said...
(They kiss. They kiss again. She puts her arm around him. The kiss goes on for several moments. Angel suddenly pulls back and looks away.)
Buffy: What? What is it? What's wrong?
(He turns to face her and growls. She sees he has his vampire face and screams. He takes a last look at her and jumps toward the window. He hits the closed window headfirst and groans in pain, slumping to the floor.)
Director: Cut! Okay, who forgot to open the window?
Buffy: (helps Angel stand up) Are you okay, Angel? Can somebody get him some blood?
~~~~~~~~~~~
Nick: (Forces a laugh) Ouch! Now that's Motrin pain. Our next is a scene from a season four episode entitled "Harsh Light of Day", let's see what happens:
~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy: I'm sorry.
Parker: Look, I really have to go now.
(Parker turns to walk away, leaving Buffy looking sad.)
Buffy: Parker, wait. I did this all wrong.
Parker: No, it's cool. We'll hook up later.
(Pained screaming is heard in the background and Spike runs in front of the camera to a nearby tree for shelter from the bright sun. Smoke rises up from his body and he looks quite annoyed. The cast and crew begin to laugh hysterically.)
Director: Cut! What the hell was that about?
Spike: Very funny, guys. Now where is the *real* Gem of Amarra?
~~~~~~~~~~~
Nick: (Forces a laugh) Talk about a practical joke! I wonder if vampires get Workman's Compensation. Well anyway, the following two outtakes are from "Something Blue", also in season four. Take a look:
~~~~~~~~~~~
Spike: I get this spell reversed, they'll be finding your body for weeks.
Buffy: Oh, make a move...please. I'm dying for a good lay.
(The cast and crew burst out laughing.)
Director: Cut! Let's try that again!
Buffy: (Slaps her forehead) Slay! Slay! Sorry, the whole 'car conversation' with Riley is still in my head.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Willow: Let the healing power begin. Let my will be safe again. As these words of peace are spoken, let this harmful spell be broken.
(Thunder crashes and lightening flashes. Suddenly, the demons disappear. Buffy and Spike continue kissing.)
Director: Cut! Buffy and Spike, you are supposed to stop kissing and show your disgust for each other. This is the fifth take we've done and you two just don't stop! Let's try it again, and for Pete's sake, *stop* this time!
~~~~~~~~~~~
Nick: (Forces a laugh) Well, those certainly were bloopers, or were they? Well, if you liked those, then you're bound to enjoy this next one from "The Yoko Factor" from, you guessed it, season four:
~~~~~~~~~~~
Angel: (Stops and turns around to face Buffy) Oh, and Riley.
Buffy: Yeah?
Angel: I don't like him.
Buffy: (Smiles) Yeah me neither, let's go back to your place.
(She runs to him and they leave the dormitory with arms wrapped around each other's waists.)
Director: Cut! What is it with you this season, Buffy? Let's try that again and please stick to the script!
~~~~~~~~~~~
Nick: (Forces another laugh) You gotta love those crazy kids! I know I do. Well, I hope you all enjoyed tonight's presentation. I'm Nick Lark for "Funny Outtakes You Never See On Buffy". I hope to see you all again, good night!