Alcohol
and Blood
Chapter
2
By:
Chiri-chan
Hi
all! If you're here, then that means ya wanna read more!! GREAT!!!! This
chapter is dedicated to my best friend, Chibi-Quistis Almasy, who, without her
inspiration, would never have bugged me to write more to this!!!!
Ok,
quickie disclaimer! None of this stuff belongs to me, except my obsession with
ASS-BELTS!!
Warning:
mild shonen ai in some parts, Quifer, Squall and Rinoa bashing (well, actually,
just having Squall making an idiot out of himself…I call that bashing) and
Selphie and Irvine acting like themselves, for once.
________________________________________________________________________
Squall,
sporting a few bruises, watched the cute public display of affection. "It's
not over Seifer, not by a long shot..." said Squall, vanishing into the
darkness.
"Hey,
Squall!" shouted Selphie, alerting the two lovebirds who was spying,
"I heard ya got dumped! Anyway, Fujin's lookin for ya, said something about
'sweet monkey love' or along the lines of it!"
Squall
sweatdropped, and turned his head to stare back at the happy couple, but was
greeted with a pair of cold eyes. "Ummmm, Hi Seifer! Nice weather, huh? I
was just saying to Selphie how...."
"Squall?"
"Yes,
Seifer-sama?"
"SHUT
THE FUCK UP!!!!" And with
those few words, proceeded to pound Squall into the ground.
"Damn,
looks like Squall's become a Trepie..." mumbled Quistis, and walked off
with a VERY happy Seifer.
"Seifer...He's
yummy..."trailed off Selphie, and turned to Squall. "Hey, I got an
idea!" and sat, looking smart.
Squall
was just getting up from his three-foot grave, and thought to himself, "I
wish I could come up with a plan...but my mind's blank..."
Squall
started mumbling, but none of it really made any sense, so he finally gave up
and said, "I don't know what to do...I'll ask Selphie!"
"Ok,
Selphie, what's your plan?" asked Squall, readying a bag of ice for her
head.
"We
kill Quistis!!"
"NO!!!!!
If anyone dies, it's Seifer."
"NOOO!!!"
"So
then what do we do?"
Selphie
thought long and hard for an answer. "I know! We break them up!
"Wow....
that was so incredibly simple, Irvine could've thought of it...." Squall
said, then shrugged and walked off, Selphie trailing behind.
"Oh,
Seifer..." Gasped Quistis, shuddering as his hands moved lower and lower
down her body.
"Shhh...
I haven't gotten all the Carbuncle hair off your skirt yet." He slowly took off the remaining pieces off her skirt.
"Is
that all of it?" she asked, not daring to look down.
They
had been in a huge battle, and Quistis had called out Carbuncle, only the cute
lil thing hadn't been brushed for about 1,000 years.
Quite
literally, it SHED.
But
now, the hair was off, and Seifer could take something else off his woman
besides bunny hair. "This way, Quistis," said Seifer, leading her
towards the shower.
*INSERT
LEMON HERE*
Squall
was STILL trying to get Quistis to fall for him, but we all know how that's
going...(wink wink nod nod).
We
now see him going through his room; Irvine and Selphie at the door.
"Drat
it all...has anyone seen my 'Tiger Beat' magazine?" whimpered Squall as he
searched under the bed.
"uhnnnn..."said
Selphie, hiding the magazine behind her back.
"Hey!"
shouted Squall, pulling something out, "It's my ass-belts case! I've been
looking everywhere for this!" Squall then spotted the magazine behind
Selphie's back. "NYARGA! I found it!" and tried to get behind Selphie.
"I
don't have it!" Selphie cried, trying to give it to Irvine, but he had
*mysteriously* disappeared.
"Is
that your final answer?" chuckled Squall, pouncing on Selphie, and grabbing
the magazine.
"This
magazine has everything a girl wants in a man! I shall be the hottest thing
since spandex!" he peered into the magazine, and started rummaging through
the pages; trying to find a style he could actually pull off.
"Hmmm,
Justin Timberlake.... no, Sisqo...no, I know! Tupac!" and with that
statement, decided to become the next Tupac.
"Hmmm,
might have to do something with the wardrobe. Hey, Irvine!" shouted Squall,
causing Irvine to slowly creep into the room.
"Yes,
Squall?"
"Do
these belts make my ass look big?"
Irvine
didn't even bat an eyelash.
"No,
I always thought they looked good plastered all over your ass."
"Whew!"
Squall wiped his head with his sleeve, "That's a good thing! You're always
a good judge for clothes!
Squall
stood up, and got into a pose. "Now, off to impress MY woman!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!"
laughed Squall, raising his hands in a maniacal way.
"Ummm,
isn't she SEIFER'S woman now?" asked Irvine.
"NO!
And she never will be!" yelled Squall, stomping off to Quistis' room.
"Mmmmmm,
yummy Squall booty..."trailed off Irvine as Selphie dragged him to the
cafeteria.
Seifer
and Quistis were STILL in the shower, making yummy weasel passion, when the door
to the shower opened, and a deep voice could be heard.
"DAMN!
Baby got back!" whistled Squall, but after he said it, he realized he was
staring at SEIFER'S ass, not Quistis'!
"What
did you say, freak?!?" Yelled Seifer, grabbing a towel for Quistis, and
then stepping out of the shower, ready to kick more Squall booty.
Squall
held up his hand and just said, "Word up, G."
"Huh?"
said Seifer, lowering his guard.
"BOOYAH!"
Shouted squall, lowering his head, and heat butting Seifer.
"SEIFER!!"
screamed Quistis, dropping to the floor, and holding Seifer's unconscious body.
"C'mon
Quistis! Let's elope to Candyland!"
"WHAT?!?!?
Have you ACTUALLY gone insane Squall?" shouted Quistis at him, getting her
whip out, ready to do her own Squall ass-kickin.
Squall
just looked blankly, and said, "homey don't play that."
Completely
confusing poor Quistis, this gave him the opportunity to pick her up, and run
like mad to his sports car.
With
a duck-taped up Quistis in shotgun, he cranked up the volume to past maximum,
and spun down the road singing, "GROOVY LOVE SONG! HALE HALELUAH!"
along with his newly bought Card Captor Sakura CD.
Seifer
came to only to find himself nude and lying on Quistis' bathroom floor.
"Did
I eat Quistis' cooking again? Grumbled Seifer, then remembered Squall acting in
total lunacy, and........GASP! Kidnapping his woman!
"Oooooh,
someone's GONNA DIE!" yelled Seifer, and sped after Squall on his
motorcycle.
TBC!!!!!