*Clears throat* As we join our lovable Final Fantasy VIII characters......*what, you thought I was gonna say something else?*......Selphie and Edea are anxiously waiting for the show to begin. Actually, so am I......
Announcer- Ladies and......those who wish they were ladies, "The Promise Land," proudly presents our newest talent for your viewing pleasure.......
Selphie- Woohoo! I knew this mission would pay off.
Announcer- These are our freshest faces, so I hope you all give them a warm welcome......
Voice from the back- We'll give them alot more than that!
Edea- Oh dear, you don't think the boys will be traumatized by this, do you?
Announcer- Please put your hands together......
Selphie- Who cares! I wanna see skin!
Edea- Selphie..........I like the way you think. Bring 'em on!
Announcer- ......for our usual preview to the nights long line of entertainment, here's a little runway action for the new blood! Please welcome Tabby Stevens, Paris Valentine, Muffy La Rue, Fifi Charmaign, and "The Cowgirl"!
*****
Who do you think we're going to next? :-)
Zell- Please don't make me go! Please don't make me do it!
Seifer- Let go of my leg, you feathered freak! *fiercely attempting to wiggle out of Zell's grasp*
Irvine- Don't sweat it Zell, it won't be so bad.
Raijin- Yeah, ya know? You'll make a few gil.
Zell- Please, I just can't face those beady eyes, the high-pitched squeals, the grabbing, dear Hyne, the grabbing! And that's just Selphie I'm worried about!
Irvine- Hey!
Squall- Damnit, Zell, be a man! We can't turn back now.
Zell- I don't wanna be a man! I don't wanna be a bird either! I am not a piece of meat! Please, I just wanna go home.......*sniffles, with big, puppy-dog eyes*........you'll let me go home, won't you, Squall?
Squall- Not a chance in Hell! If I have to go out there in this flimsy excuse for clothing, so do you! *grabs Zell's arms, and begins dragging him on stage*
Seifer- *with a big grin as the others follow Squall and a struggling Zell through the curtain* Well, if we gotta do this, we sure as Hell better enjoy it.
*****
Backstage Quistis, Fuujin, Rinoa, and a reluctant Reno are standing near the fuse box with a nice, clear view of the stage.
Quistis- Ok, here's the plan: I'll use Reno's Electro-Mag Rod to short out the fuses, the lights will go out, mayhem will ensue, and we can then confront the villains without fear of civilian casualty.
Rinoa- Sounds good to me.
Reno- I'm technically a civilian. Does that mean I can leave when the lights go out?
Quistis- Fuujin, if you'd do the honors?
Fuujin- RAGE! *brutally kicks Reno in his recently damaged area* Thanks, I needed that.
Reno- *groans incoherently*
Rinoa- So, Quis.......aren't you gonna use the rod?
Quistis- Rinoa, look on stage. What do you see?
Rinoa- Some skinny guy in white leather dragging a giant bird. Wait.......is that......?
Quistis- Uh huh.
Rinoa-.......I see.
Quistis- I think we can wait a bit.
*****
Shall we join the show?
Raijin- We're on stage, ya know? Now what?
Woman 1- Shake that sexy bod!
Irvine- I guess we listen to them. *begins gyrating suggestively as women, men, and some......it's anyone's best guess........begin hooting and hollering with approval*
Seifer- Well....when in Rome. *follows Irvine's example, showing off a little leg with the slits in his red, sequin gown*
Raijin- *moving like a lap dancer* I guess this isn't so bad, ya know?
Woman 2- Take it off!
Man in drag 1- *reaches up to stuff a gil in Squall's micro-mini, digging rather low* Show us what ya got, sugar!
Squall- Eeyyaaa!
Raijin- Maybe I spoke too soon, ya know?
Irvine- *getting into his performance* Come on boys, let's give 'em what they want! *whips cowboy.....I mean cowgirl hat, out into the crowd*
Seifer- *removes long white gloves that are apart of his ensemble* And I thought this would be hard!
Squall- You're enjoying this? Are you out of your mind?! *swiping unwanted hands away* Get out of my skirt!
Raijin- There's nothing about that sentence coming from Squall's mouth that doesn't sound very, very wrong. *crowd begins to grab at his veils and the waist of his puffy, Arabian pants* I'm not trained for this, ya know?!
Man in drag 2- I'll teach ya, sexy.
Raijin- Help me, ya kno.....ow! Don't touch that!
Zell- *had been huddled in the center of the stage, and is now attempting to crawl to safety* ......nice, nice icee......nice, nice icee.......nice, ni.......ahhhhh! *crazed woman...at least Zell hopes it's a woman...grabs onto his ankles and begins to pull him off stage* No, someone save me! Squall!
Squall- Don't yell for me! I've got my own problems! *desperately trying to fend off a man in a mesh tank top and hotpants*
Zell- *noticing Selphie and Edea just to his left, very much enjoying the show* Selph! Matron! Help me!
Selphie- Sure thing, Zelly! *pushes the woman hanging onto Zell's ankles out of the way, only to grab a handful of feathers herself, and........
Zell- What are you.....?! NOOOOooooooo!
*.....yanks. Zell tumbles off the stage, feathers flying. When he lands, he has only a moment to realize 'at least the feathers aren't chaffing him anymore, though the breeze is a bit unwelcome', before getting mauled by a very horny crowd*
Edea- Selphie, what did you do?
Selphie- Ummm........oops?
*****
Meanwhile, backstage......
Rinoa- Ummm....as entertaining as this is, maybe we'd better kill the power now. I don't think the boys can hold out much longer.
Fuujin- In Zell's case, I think we're already too late.
Quistis- Alright, I'm gonna do it. Get ready, guys......*charges up Reno's Electro-Mag Rod, swings back with for full force, and........strikes the fuse box*
*****
Onstage......
Squall- *if possible, wearing even less than he was before* They're like sharks at a feeding frenzy!
Raijin- Help, ya know?! They got me! *being pulled kicking and screaming into the mass of hormone-enraged customers*
Zell- *screams echoing from below the dog pile on top of him* AHHHHhhhhhhhh! No more, please........!
Seifer- Another minute of this and.......
*suddenly, just as all hope seems lost, crackles and sparks burst from backstage, and everything goes dark. An uproar of commotion bursts through the club as customers and talent alike run for the exists, thoughts of burglars or a fire flashing through their minds. When the dust clears, the backup system kicks into gear, and the lights pop back on, revealing a very mangled mess of SeeD's as the only occupants left*
Raijin- ......the pain.....ya....know....?
Zell- *completely free of feathers as he desperately reaches for a tablecloth to wrap around his waist* No amount of gil was worth that! I've been violated!
Squall- *luckily still wearing his flimsy white leather, though it is torn in......all the right places* You're not the only one! After awhile I couldn't tell my own body parts from those deranged freaks trying to get a piece of me!
Irvine- *apparently no worse for the wear* Let's do it again! *ducks as random objects are thrown at his head* Ouch! I was.....just kidding.......really.......
Seifer- Don't worry, I don't think you'll be doing a mission like this ever again.
Squall- You've got that right! I'll think twice before accepting our next one.
Seifer- Actually, what I meant was.......you won't be doing /any/ missions.
Squall- *turning towards Seifer, and noticing for the first time just how suspicious his long silver wig really is* What do you mean by that.......?
*Seifer grins widely, and is suddenly joined by three other silvered-haired men, plus one red head.*
Irvine- This doesn't look good.
*****
Part 7! One more to go! Fanfiction.net's problems sure has made this difficult, but don't let that stop you from reading........or reviewing! Please!
Announcer- Ladies and......those who wish they were ladies, "The Promise Land," proudly presents our newest talent for your viewing pleasure.......
Selphie- Woohoo! I knew this mission would pay off.
Announcer- These are our freshest faces, so I hope you all give them a warm welcome......
Voice from the back- We'll give them alot more than that!
Edea- Oh dear, you don't think the boys will be traumatized by this, do you?
Announcer- Please put your hands together......
Selphie- Who cares! I wanna see skin!
Edea- Selphie..........I like the way you think. Bring 'em on!
Announcer- ......for our usual preview to the nights long line of entertainment, here's a little runway action for the new blood! Please welcome Tabby Stevens, Paris Valentine, Muffy La Rue, Fifi Charmaign, and "The Cowgirl"!
*****
Who do you think we're going to next? :-)
Zell- Please don't make me go! Please don't make me do it!
Seifer- Let go of my leg, you feathered freak! *fiercely attempting to wiggle out of Zell's grasp*
Irvine- Don't sweat it Zell, it won't be so bad.
Raijin- Yeah, ya know? You'll make a few gil.
Zell- Please, I just can't face those beady eyes, the high-pitched squeals, the grabbing, dear Hyne, the grabbing! And that's just Selphie I'm worried about!
Irvine- Hey!
Squall- Damnit, Zell, be a man! We can't turn back now.
Zell- I don't wanna be a man! I don't wanna be a bird either! I am not a piece of meat! Please, I just wanna go home.......*sniffles, with big, puppy-dog eyes*........you'll let me go home, won't you, Squall?
Squall- Not a chance in Hell! If I have to go out there in this flimsy excuse for clothing, so do you! *grabs Zell's arms, and begins dragging him on stage*
Seifer- *with a big grin as the others follow Squall and a struggling Zell through the curtain* Well, if we gotta do this, we sure as Hell better enjoy it.
*****
Backstage Quistis, Fuujin, Rinoa, and a reluctant Reno are standing near the fuse box with a nice, clear view of the stage.
Quistis- Ok, here's the plan: I'll use Reno's Electro-Mag Rod to short out the fuses, the lights will go out, mayhem will ensue, and we can then confront the villains without fear of civilian casualty.
Rinoa- Sounds good to me.
Reno- I'm technically a civilian. Does that mean I can leave when the lights go out?
Quistis- Fuujin, if you'd do the honors?
Fuujin- RAGE! *brutally kicks Reno in his recently damaged area* Thanks, I needed that.
Reno- *groans incoherently*
Rinoa- So, Quis.......aren't you gonna use the rod?
Quistis- Rinoa, look on stage. What do you see?
Rinoa- Some skinny guy in white leather dragging a giant bird. Wait.......is that......?
Quistis- Uh huh.
Rinoa-.......I see.
Quistis- I think we can wait a bit.
*****
Shall we join the show?
Raijin- We're on stage, ya know? Now what?
Woman 1- Shake that sexy bod!
Irvine- I guess we listen to them. *begins gyrating suggestively as women, men, and some......it's anyone's best guess........begin hooting and hollering with approval*
Seifer- Well....when in Rome. *follows Irvine's example, showing off a little leg with the slits in his red, sequin gown*
Raijin- *moving like a lap dancer* I guess this isn't so bad, ya know?
Woman 2- Take it off!
Man in drag 1- *reaches up to stuff a gil in Squall's micro-mini, digging rather low* Show us what ya got, sugar!
Squall- Eeyyaaa!
Raijin- Maybe I spoke too soon, ya know?
Irvine- *getting into his performance* Come on boys, let's give 'em what they want! *whips cowboy.....I mean cowgirl hat, out into the crowd*
Seifer- *removes long white gloves that are apart of his ensemble* And I thought this would be hard!
Squall- You're enjoying this? Are you out of your mind?! *swiping unwanted hands away* Get out of my skirt!
Raijin- There's nothing about that sentence coming from Squall's mouth that doesn't sound very, very wrong. *crowd begins to grab at his veils and the waist of his puffy, Arabian pants* I'm not trained for this, ya know?!
Man in drag 2- I'll teach ya, sexy.
Raijin- Help me, ya kno.....ow! Don't touch that!
Zell- *had been huddled in the center of the stage, and is now attempting to crawl to safety* ......nice, nice icee......nice, nice icee.......nice, ni.......ahhhhh! *crazed woman...at least Zell hopes it's a woman...grabs onto his ankles and begins to pull him off stage* No, someone save me! Squall!
Squall- Don't yell for me! I've got my own problems! *desperately trying to fend off a man in a mesh tank top and hotpants*
Zell- *noticing Selphie and Edea just to his left, very much enjoying the show* Selph! Matron! Help me!
Selphie- Sure thing, Zelly! *pushes the woman hanging onto Zell's ankles out of the way, only to grab a handful of feathers herself, and........
Zell- What are you.....?! NOOOOooooooo!
*.....yanks. Zell tumbles off the stage, feathers flying. When he lands, he has only a moment to realize 'at least the feathers aren't chaffing him anymore, though the breeze is a bit unwelcome', before getting mauled by a very horny crowd*
Edea- Selphie, what did you do?
Selphie- Ummm........oops?
*****
Meanwhile, backstage......
Rinoa- Ummm....as entertaining as this is, maybe we'd better kill the power now. I don't think the boys can hold out much longer.
Fuujin- In Zell's case, I think we're already too late.
Quistis- Alright, I'm gonna do it. Get ready, guys......*charges up Reno's Electro-Mag Rod, swings back with for full force, and........strikes the fuse box*
*****
Onstage......
Squall- *if possible, wearing even less than he was before* They're like sharks at a feeding frenzy!
Raijin- Help, ya know?! They got me! *being pulled kicking and screaming into the mass of hormone-enraged customers*
Zell- *screams echoing from below the dog pile on top of him* AHHHHhhhhhhhh! No more, please........!
Seifer- Another minute of this and.......
*suddenly, just as all hope seems lost, crackles and sparks burst from backstage, and everything goes dark. An uproar of commotion bursts through the club as customers and talent alike run for the exists, thoughts of burglars or a fire flashing through their minds. When the dust clears, the backup system kicks into gear, and the lights pop back on, revealing a very mangled mess of SeeD's as the only occupants left*
Raijin- ......the pain.....ya....know....?
Zell- *completely free of feathers as he desperately reaches for a tablecloth to wrap around his waist* No amount of gil was worth that! I've been violated!
Squall- *luckily still wearing his flimsy white leather, though it is torn in......all the right places* You're not the only one! After awhile I couldn't tell my own body parts from those deranged freaks trying to get a piece of me!
Irvine- *apparently no worse for the wear* Let's do it again! *ducks as random objects are thrown at his head* Ouch! I was.....just kidding.......really.......
Seifer- Don't worry, I don't think you'll be doing a mission like this ever again.
Squall- You've got that right! I'll think twice before accepting our next one.
Seifer- Actually, what I meant was.......you won't be doing /any/ missions.
Squall- *turning towards Seifer, and noticing for the first time just how suspicious his long silver wig really is* What do you mean by that.......?
*Seifer grins widely, and is suddenly joined by three other silvered-haired men, plus one red head.*
Irvine- This doesn't look good.
*****
Part 7! One more to go! Fanfiction.net's problems sure has made this difficult, but don't let that stop you from reading........or reviewing! Please!