Lizzie-Chan

"The G-Boys Meet The Blondes"-Part 2

Author: Well, here's the other half of this interesting mystery for your further enjoyment-

"What mystery?" Relena whines and blows another bubble. "I don't get iiiit."

Heero twitches at the pitch of Relena's whine and raises another gun, but Trowa grabs it and adds it to a quickly growing pile in the corner of the room.

Well, all of our heroes and heroines are pretty much where we left them; the girls are still by the back door, giggling over a picture of the Backstreet Boys on the cover of a magazine, and the boys are cautiously making their approach towards them.

"Wow Trowa, like, what happened to your hair?" Dorothy asked, reminding Trowa of his earlier haircut. "We can get that fixed at the hair salon down the road." Once Trowa realized she was referring to the hot pink building down the street, he retreated back to where the others were standing.

"Uh, hair salon?" Trowa stuttered. This time he did not even bother taking Heero's pointed gun, but Wufei wrestled it away.

"Oh, one more thing," Relena said "We invited a few of the girls over for a sleepover tonight,"

"HERE?!" All the boys cried at the same time, and Wufei grabbed the nearest paper bag to stop hyperventilating.

"Who, I mean, how many?" Duo asked.

"Well, like, you know," Relena replied "Just Jennie and Jackie and Rachel and Ashley and Mimi and-"

"STOP!!" Duo yelled "Any more and my head will explode!"

Knowing that he had to do something before things got any worse, Quatra decided to cut in. "Do you two mind if we asked you a few questions?" he asked.

"Like, why not?" Dorothy replied and grabbed another lock of hair around her finger.

"Test number one" Trowa said under his breath as Quatra began the Interrogation. He slowly paced back and forth and looked like he was about to ask when he acted surprised and cried "Look! A dead bird!"

"Where?" Both girls asked and scanned the ceiling frantically.

The G-Boys just watched and shook their heads.

"Test one failed," Duo began but Relena's eyes lit up as she cut in.

"Wait a minute!" she said "Why would a dead bird be inside-they should be flying around outside!"

"Test one-definitely failed." Duo said as he rolled his eyes in frustration.

"Try another one," Wufei said now that he had fully recovered from the sleepover news.

"Well, that pretty much does it," Quatra said "But there is one other way to know for sure." He then turned back around to the girls.

"How do you confuse a Blonde?" he asked.

The girls replied with blank looks.

"BLUE!" he replied. A few minute passed, and it appeared to have worked. The girls remained motionless, and they stared at him with completely blank faces.

"Are they breathing?" Duo asked as Quatra began to slowly shrink away from Dorothy and Relena.

"Probably not," Quatra replied "If they're thinking, they can't really do anything else at the same time."

"The girls faces continued to stare into space for atleast another five minutes before Relena suddenly tilted her head to the side.

"Blue?" she asked and pursed her lips in thought until finally giving in. "But I don't get iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittt!"

"SUCCESS!!" Quatra cried and jumped up. "they've finished developing!"

"Developing into what?" Duo asked.

"Into complete and official BLONDES!" (Author: "DA DA DAAA!" -bad suspense music and a crash of thunder is heard in the background "Cheezy,I know, but gimme a break..")

"Is there any way we can help them?" Wufei asked.

"The effects are irreversible," Quatra replied. The rest of the boys could just stand there, completely stunned at the news when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Dorothy said as she went for the door. "That must be the girls. We are going to have, like, soo much fun!"

Within about ten seconds, the guys began to panic as the room quickly filled with Babbling Blondes.

"Where's Heero?" Quatra asked as he began to feel claustrophobic. He searched the room and realized that one of the sofas was pulled onto it's side and was now blocking the doorway into the den. Inside, Heero could barely be seen, loading every gun and piece of weaponry he owned. Trowa ran over, but instead of stopping Heero, he joined him behind the barricade and grabbed the nearest loaded gun.

"Of course this means war!" Duo declared as he and the others joined them. "We are not going down to an army of blondes without a fight!"

"Be careful and don't look at them straight in the eyes," Quatra pointed out. "They can sense our fear."

Wufei grabbed a small explosive and was about to throw it when Quatra stopped him "No!" he yelled "Do you know how much compressed hot air is contained in a single blonde head? That could cause a chain explosion that would blow up half the neighborhood!"

"Oh," Wufei replied in a small voice and dropped it. "Well then how are we supposed to fight them?"

"With brains instead of Brawn" Quatra replied as he studied his enemy. Just then something hit his face and he toppled over backwards, with a red liquid spilled across him. Duo stooped over him in a panic. "Are you bleeding?" he asked "Speak to us Quatra!" After a moment, Quatra sat right back up and wiped the liquid from his face.

"That was low." he said angrily. "what a waste of nail polish!"

The battle continued like this for almost an hour; the boys would exchange rounds with their weapons, and the Blondes would retaliate with the dreaded flying makeup and nail polish. Finally, things seemed to have reached a stalemate.

"I think there's only one thing left to do," Quatra said and picked up a handful of grenades. "Just watch," he continued and threw them all into the giggling mass at the other end of the room.

"You didn't even pull the pins!" Heero cried "What good is that going to do?"

"Just wait," Quatra replied. Now completely out of ammunition, the guys had no other choice but to huddle behind the barricade and wait for the powdered-makeup dust to clear.

"Why is it so quiet?' Duo asked, but no one could see a thing. Just then the Boys found themselves being pelted by many tiny metal objects.

"What are these?" Duo asked as one bounced off his head and he held it up "Pins?"

"Well what do you do if Blondes throw pins at you?" Quatra asked.

"What?"

"Run, they have live grenades!"

"The G-Boys all jumped up and sprinted out the front door just as a series of explosions began tearing through the entire house. All five guys jumped onto the ground to protect themselves as the entire house burst into a ball of flames.

"You know Quatra," Duo said as a half-scorched copy of "Teen Magazine" landed beside him "You could've just said 'run' or something!"

"That would be too easy," Heero grumbled as the five slowly stood up and glanced over at their home, which was now nothing but a giant mountain of fire (Oops, back to the run-on sentences.)

"We better split before the police show up." Trowa said "I don't think they would take this too well."

"Neither will our landlord," Duo added and began to pick up what was left of their belongings-

Author: What will our heroes do now? Where will they go? How will they sleep? ::Quatra's eyes grow round and teary as he stared pleadingly at Lizzie-Chan::

Author: Tough, Quatra. I can end this any way I want, I AM the author. (Oh, god, he's giving me the puppy-dog look...::tries to look away::) AAAH! Fine! I'll give you a happier ending...

***

Somehow, after a strange, unexplainable turn of events, our heroes all end up in a motel (::Quatra pouts and Heero cocks another gun::) Oops, I meant a huge suite in a four star hotel in Chicago ("Ahem")--Cancun (Phew), watching a news broadcast on their big-screen TV:

"A huge explosion obliterates a house and causes the deaths of about a dozen local blondes, as well as the disappearance of the five tenants and two of the girls, whose bodies were not found-"

Wufei turns off the TV as the other stare into the blank screen, unable to believe what they had just heard.

"Do you think they-" Duo slowly began.

"No way," Trowa replied "No normal person can survive an explosion like that!"

"But they weren't normal people," Quatra said.

"That doesn't matter," Heero said as he stopped cleaning a large rocket-launcher. (I'm gonna regret writing that..) "Even if they did survive, we're still over a thousand miles away. I don't think we will ever have to worry about them again."

The others forced themselves to nod in agreement as the doorbell rang. From outside came the nasal voice that had haunted all five heroes in their sleep.

"Um, like, room service!"

Fin

?