Author's Note: Glad some of you liked that last one. The question kind of just popped into me the other day. You know, what if Kenshin could read into Kaoru's mind? Got my inspiration from that Studio 54 song "If You Could Read My Mind". I just wanted to break some of the cliches. Take note of the word "some".

This is just part 4 and 5. Please stay with me.

I just read your reviews and wow, it does have some "What Women Want" undertones. Oh well, if it works, it works. Hmm, hope I don't go there too much. Honestly, I didn't intend for it to be a "What Women Want" thing. No problem though. Just hope I make it differently.

Well, here goes nothing.

On with the story.

Mind of the Woman

Part IV: The Gift

And a good morning to you too, Battousai.

I don't know why I bother greeting my alter-ego in the morning. I think it's my way of keeping it in a good mood so that it doesn't go and jump at me when I least want it to.

It's really early in the morning now.

I slept through dinner last night because Kaoru, being the angel that she is, did not wake me. With the upset I got yesterday, it was best that she let me sleep. I think I would have cracked my head for sure if I stayed up and kept hearing things.

I didn't know getting a nasty on the head could do that. Funny that I could have taken a beating from Shishio, Enishi and Shogo with more grace. Last night, I felt like a kid who had gotten a boo-boo.

Everything's fine now, and I do so like making breakfast. It's the next best relaxing thing to doing the laundry. Sano will have a fit if he heard me say that.

It was strange though, dreaming about Tomoe like that. I hadn't dreamed about her in ages, and with my other dreams it was always about the…blood. The one yesterday was different. She sounded happy. And she called me names too. What was that? Oh yes, how can I forget? Idiot.

That's what guilt does to a person, I suppose.

Idiot. What a major understatement.

I killed her and she calls me idiot.

Kenshin, you must be really losing your marbles.

"Good morning, Kenshin!"

I sighed in contentment. This is what I live for.

"Good morning, Kaoru-dono!" I replied with my best smile. Only the best for my Kaoru.

"How's your head, Kenshin?" She asked, going to the vegetable basket to help with the chopping of the radishes.

Not too scrambled, I hope. I meant my head, not the radishes. I flashed another smile and turned to the pot of miso. "Uh…I'll be fine, Kaoru-dono. You shouldn't worry too much about this unworthy one."

"He could be such a idiot. Doesn't he know that I live to worry about him?" Kaoru intoned.

I froze, my gaze swerving to her direction. He? Like third person, he?

She kept chopping the radishes as prettily as you please.

"Kaoru-dono?" I asked testily. As if that would clear everything up. Rurouni, you're definitely an idiot. Tomoe knew it, Kaoru knows it, and probably half of Japan knows it. Everyone's just clamoring to jump into the "Kenshin's A Moron" parade.

Kaoru looked at me. "Yes?"

What the hell do I say? It's not like I could ask her: Kaoru-dono, did you just say what I thought you said, or did you just think it? 'Cause you see, Tomoe visited me last night and gave me this gift…

"Kenshin?"

I snapped out of my stupid-daze and tried for my best escape: Rurouni innocence. "Eh…he…he…n-nothing."

"Kenshin, are you sure you're all right, maybe you should leave breakfast to…" Me…hah! That'll surely fix him up in a hurry. Ladies and gentlemen, another vile concoction from Miss Kamiya Kaoru, anti-chef extraordinaire! Yep, couldn't cook to save my life, can I? One man's meat is another man's poison, but with me it's always poison, isn't it? Maybe I should have cooked for the Shinsen-gumi. That might have ended the war sooner than anyone expected.

"Oro! K-Kaoru-dono!" Too many thoughts at once! God, I'm hearing her thoughts! How the hell is that possible? No! I'm going insane! Battousai, didn't you have a good morning? My GOD! This is--this is completely INSANE!

Kaoru stared at me with scrutiny. Great! Now I've terrified him. Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Kaoru in the kitchen! Japan declares a state of emergency!

What do I do? Oh, I couldn't be hearing this! Demo, is she that passionate about her cooking? Oro! Idiot-Kenshin, you're imagining things! You've got yourself believing that you can pick up on Kaoru's thoughts, no doubt a direct result of the frustration you've been having over the fact that YOU CAN'T HAVE HER!

"Kenshin, I was going to say that you should leave breakfast to Misao," she said in a hurt voice, her eyes glazing a bit. "I know my limits."

Are those…are those tears? Surely, she can't be upset because she can't cook.

Why can't I do anything…un-tomboyish? Rang her miserable thoughts. Sometimes, I just want to do something nice for them, like cook an edible meal, but I can't even to that!

Well, now I feel like a TOTAL JERK! Kenshin, you idiot! I should have known there was more to Kaoru's anger when the others teased her about her cooking!

I'm sure my face fell to several levels of compassion for her, and reproach, for myself.

Whether or not I'm imagining things, I cannot let Kaoru get hurt this way.

"Maa…" I began in my usual soothing way. "Kaoru-dono, I'll be fine making breakfast, and your help is most appreciated, de gozaru yo. I couldn't ask for anyone else. Let's put this onigiri together, ne? Animal shapes, just the way you like them."

She sniffed and I saw her wipe hastily at her eyes with her sleeve before turning to look at me. She had an adorably tiny smile on her lips. "Of course, Kenshin."

"I don't know why I get so emotional," her thoughts added.

I smiled, partly from relief and partly from knowing she felt better already. I voiced another thought, one of the things I should have told her a long time ago. I pinched her chin affectionately and turned to help with the other radishes. "Kaoru-dono, this unworthy one does not know what he will do without you."

Kaoru blinked, then she blushed quite beautifully.

I just loved to get her blushing. It's worth all this "unworthy one" business, and what not.

"Oooh! Kenshin I could just kiss you!"

I blinked and looked at her.

Chopping.

I sighed. I'm definitely frustrated.

Mou! I swear Misao is after Aoshi's looks! How can she stand to be with a zombie like that? Never saying anything, never LOOKING anything. It's enough to turn your eyes white and give you bad breath!

I suppressed my groan as Kaoru's voice thrummed in my head. What the hell is wrong with me? For the last two hours, I've been imagining her mentally firing all sorts of retorts. It was mostly about her frustration of getting Aoshi to do anything apart from clearing his throat in disapproval. In addition to that, she has also expressed irritation at Aoshi's clueless-ness with regards to Misao's feelings for him.

Where are all these musings coming from? Have I finally snapped? Will I, any minute now, grab my reversed-edge sword, flip it to its sharp edge and hack my way through all of them?

I certainly don't feel like I'm going Battousai, but why am I introspecting like this? And for goodness sake! If I was making all this up, I should at least leave out Kaoru having an opinion on Aoshi's so-called good looks. So far, she has called him "pretty boy", "Misao's sexy pseudo-boyfriend" and "Mr. Looks Too Good in A Suit." I was never jealous of Aoshi, but damn! If any of it were really her thoughts…oro! I'm not going to let him get near her!

What in good Kami-sama's grace is happening to me?!

I think…maybe I should keep my distance for a while, more for her sake, not necessarily mine. A day or two, perhaps?

Who the hell am I kidding? I'd be restless for her in a few hours. I couldn't stand to be without her for so long. Which is to say I have to get my bearings real fast.

If I don't get this resolved soon, I will go completely and utterly nuts!

Misao, you dear girl. Maybe if you would just…listen, Aoshi would talk more, ne?

Oro! There she goes again!

Has some merit though. It would be just like Kaoru to be kind in both deed and thought. In my humble opinion, I think Misao talks up a storm to make up for Aoshi's thundering silence.

At this very moment, the weasel-girl was going "blah, blah, blah," like never before. Stands to reason why Kaoru was probably sitting silently on her side of the table. So was Yahiko.

Oh for crying out loud! No wonder Aoshi doesn't say anything. He couldn't! Nobody could with Misao taking the floor--

Himura, heel!

All right…I am stressing out. I am turning into an absolute prick. This is all seriously getting to me.

I need to…I need to…

"Do the laundry," I suddenly said.

As soon as I said it, my eyes widened at my own moronic blunder.

Oro! Moron! You just said that out loud!

I stared at them in horror as they all stared back.

Well, that certainly got the weasel-girl to shut-up…for a second.

"Hey! Himura, did you just tell me to do the laundry?" Misao demanded from me.

Ho boy. "N-No! Of course not! I was talking to myself! There's this big pile, you see…" Aargh! Serves me right for losing my handle in the middle of breakfast! "This unworthy one must be excused, de gozaru. I really must go. Excuse me."

I hurried to my feet, ignoring the curious gapes as I bowed hastily and then headed out the door.

Okay, so I made a complete fool of myself, not to mention rudely implying that dirty clothes have become far more interesting than the company of our guests.

Well, hell! This is an emergency!

The great Hitokiri Battousai deserves therapy too, doesn't he?

And there's nothing like a tub of bubbly detergent to make things right with the world.

Scrub a bit more, maybe Aoshi will stop looking at you like a piece of mold growing in the corner of the room.

He wasn't quiet for very long. "Your soul. It stirs, like a shore with the pounding of the waves."

Oh, where is Misao when I need her? I could do without the reincarnation of Buddha right about now. And why, in the name of Kami-sama, does he always get me during laundry time? Do I disturb him when he meditates? No. I leave him alone, as well he should give me the same courtesy.

I had no qualms of groaning this time. "What is it now?"

"You've been acting this way since last night," Aoshi told me, rubbing a thoughtful hand to his chin. "And you've been giving Kamiya-san these strange looks…fearful, yet expectant."

You think? Yup, couldn't keep things like that from Aoshi, transcendental existentialist demi-god and high priest of the Church of Weirdos Who Want to Keep to Themselves Except When It Inconveniences Them. "It's nothing, Shinomori-san. I'll be fine."

"It disturbs me."

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the crux of it. It disturbs him.

Please go away, Buddha Incarnate. It may be my last chance to go to heaven if I die a loony. That way, I could say that it was through no fault of my own that I went bonkers during the Bakumatsu.

"Well, sor-reee. Not all souls are as settled as yours, de gozaru yo," I replied in annoyance, placing emphasis on my polite inflection ending. God knows, I don't want to offend him with my sarcasm. His high and mighty attitude is beginning to bug me.

He gave another audible sniff and crossed his arms over his chest.

What a haughty son of gun.

Shinomori-kami will speak. "What has gotten into you, Battousai? Whatever it is, ignoring it would be your utter demise. The first step to making peace with ones being is meeting ones demons head on."

"I'm quite acquainted with my demons, thank you very much," I replied loftily, finding great anger on a particular fabric stain on Yahiko's gi. "In fact, sometimes they're so comfortable with me that they pop up without a proper invitation or warning."

Not the least bit fazed, Aoshi continued. "You face off with them. That's your problem. You mustn't resist. Call a cease-fire, and see what you can learn from them so that you will know how to beat them in the end. I could not figure out why you don't already know this."

I bristled. Ooooh…Aoshi, you haven't been admitted to the "Kenshin's A Moron" parade so you could just quit turning up your nose at me.

"Why do you refuse their invitation for peace-talks?" He asked.

I think he's gone more bananas than I have. And I thought I had a split personality.

All this existentialism is ruining my Laundry Hour Catharsis. "Shinomori-san, I know you're just trying to…fix things, but what I'm going through…you wouldn't understand."

Aoshi gave a shrug and settled casually on a decorative boulder across from me. "How can I understand if you insist on keeping it all to yourself?"

Great. Now I'm his little project. I decided to unload a bit (with my thoughts, not with my laundry), just to get him to leave me alone. "All right, Shinomori-san, I'll ask you this: What do you do when you're seeing into the depths of a person a bit too much?"

He cocked a smile.

There he goes again! He smiles when I amuse him. Doesn't he have the least bit respect for me? I beat the crap out of him in a sword-fight for goodness sake. Maybe I should bring that up and wipe that smug grin off his face.

"There's no such thing as seeing 'too much' of a person's depths," Aoshi said sagely. "It only becomes too much when you haven't the enlightenment to use it for your own betterment. Sort of like being afraid of the truth because you might not like what you hear. Ignorance is bliss, ne?"

I raised an eyebrow. Fine! Just swallow your pride, Himura. Slowly as not to choke on it…Aoshi is making sense. "G-Go on." Oh, pride could be such a jagged pill!

"Depths are explored," Aoshi continued, flicking off some sort of dust particle from his coat. "You go into it with an attitude of openness, discovery. You may end up with some dead ends, but if you keep going, you'll find out that there's a precious stone here and there. Am I making sense to you, Battousai?"

"Strangely, yes," I replied, getting my hands out of the soapsuds to lean closer in captivation. "So this is…a gift, so to speak?"

"Well," he said, making a casual gesture and then shrugging. "I suppose you can call it that. People are not always what they seem. At least, the interesting ones aren't. To see into someone's depth of personality…it adds spice, it's also a good way to find yourself."

A gift…Tomoe, you're as wily as the fox-lady. You SO set this up.

Alright, I can take a hint.

Boy, what a hint. Hold up a sign to my face, why don't you?

Part V: Welcoming the Depths

"You think too little of Kamiya Kaoru," Tomoe had said.

Is that really so? I have always thought that Kaoru was the reason for my existence, now my ex-wife tells me that I think too little of her? Well, how far can a man go to love a woman, anyway?

I consider Kaoru to be the blood in my veins! Isn't that putting her on the ultimate pedestal?

I took a deep and ponderous breath.

Think, Himura. How would Aoshi respond to that?

"You watch the surface and fail to see that underneath it there is a more complicated world. Yes, perhaps she laughs, but what makes her happy? Yes, she cries, but what makes her sad? She is not the one that is shallow. You are the one that is shallow."

Ooh, harsh.

But I have no doubt in my mind that it is true.

Aoshi is certainly rubbing off on me. Not a good thing? It's not so bad either, come to that.

Kaoru is in the dojo now, with Yahiko. Training, of course.

Maybe Yahiko isn't the only one who has to learn a thing or two.

I found my way into the training hall where Yahiko is currently serving his sentence of 500 swings. No doubt for another one of his hag remarks.

That kid ought to check his eyes. There was nothing remotely 'hag' about Kaoru.

Kaoru's thoughts assaulted me at once.

"Yahiko has good form. I'm proud of the kid, but I'd rather die than admit that so soon. He'll be swaggering around with his chest out and lording it over everyone. And he'll never listen to me again. Kami-sama knows he still has a lot to learn. This is one of my greatest responsibilities, raising him to become a fine man, whom people look up to. Think of it as practice for raising my own kids…if I ever have them. Goodness, at the rate I'm going, I'd be an old maid by the time I reach my twenty-fifth birthday. Maybe lonely people are born, not made."

My eyebrows knotted upon hearing that last thought. Lonely? I thought she was anything but…aren't we enough for her?

"It's inevitable that Yahiko will get married when he's old enough and move out with his wife. Then there's Sanosuke…whether or not he's gay, he'll eventually live a life of his own, with Megumi or Saitoh, depending on his preference…"

G-Gay? Is she serious? Mr. Macho? Mr. Tough Guy? It isn't possible!

Oh rurouni, but it is. He's a little too macho, and a little too tough. How's that saying again? Me thinks he speaketh too loudly…

"Maybe if he's gay and Saitoh isn't, I can convince him to stay with me for the rest of his life. I'd love to be his 'girlfriend', so to speak. Oh, wouldn't that be nice? As freeloading and as Baka as he is, I could stand to live with that oh so sexy voice."

N-No way!

I saw her give a barely recognizable sigh before she went on. "Well, well. That's the least of my troubles. The real doozie is Kenshin. I think he's getting restless. I keep expecting to find his room empty when I wake up in the morning where I will discover a 'Dear Kaoru-dono' letter on his pillow. I've offered him nothing but my violent temper, my terrible cooking, and my total lack of social grace. Wish Tomoe-san was around to give me pointers. Then again, if Tomoe-san were around, I wouldn't even have my rurouni. The ironies of life are indeed upon me with a vengeance."

Where did she get the idea that I would just pick up and leave?

History check: Kyoto.

Right.

Kenshin…Kenshin. You haven't really talked about that with her have you? You just assumed, in your thoughtless little way that she would take everything at face value. Jerk!

"Kenshin, are you done with your laundry?" Kaoru suddenly asked me.

I gave a start of astonishment. I didn't even know she noticed me. Laundry? Oh yes. It was so important this morning that I had to pick up and leave in the middle of breakfast. "Yes ma'am," I replied, settling down on the dojo floor.

Yahiko continued like the disciplined student that he was as Kaoru conversed with me. She kept a close eye at Yahiko, but she kept up the discussion. "I saw you speaking to Shinomori-san in the yard. I noticed that he likes talking to you when you're busy."

Tell me about it. I gave a nod, leaning the hilt of my sword on my shoulder. "He is a reserved man. He chooses his listeners with hair-splitting precision."

Kaoru gave a chuckle. "Indeed. Maybe I should let Misao do the laundry, like you suggested this morning."

"Oro!" Kaoru could be so unbelievably witty at times. "Maybe."

Yahiko was already counting his four hundred and fiftieth swing. I think he's too focused to keep tabs on the conversation, but I'd rather not go into the intimate stuff in front of him. Besides, I had to know more about Kaoru, or I'd likely screw up again with my blundering ways.

"Kaoru-dono, you're going to the market later, ne?" I asked.

"Yes," she replied cheerfully, looking at me. "You want to come with me?"

It was almost some kind of Standard Operating Procedure for her to ask. I always accompanied her if it wasn't me who was going myself. I think it is part of the protection thing. On a more flubbery note, I go with her because I want to be with her. It's the closest thing I can get to a date. "Yes. This unworthy one would like to accompany you." This time it's different, though, way different.

Whenever we go out on these "expeditions", Kaoru is always lost in thought. The silence is comfortable between us, which is why I never stressed out about breaking it, but I often found myself thinking that I would give anything to get a peek into her mind.

Looks like I got my wish without having to give anything. Life is not so bad to sessha.

"Okay Kenshin. I'll let you know when I'm ready to go," she replied, turning back her attention to Yahiko. "Well, it's better than nothing." Said her thoughts.

What a doozie. Even she knows I'm too chicken to spring her with a date. Well, it's not like I'm totally chicken. It's just, that Sessha thing keeps lurking over my head. I mean, what right do I have asking out this pristine and unstained beauty? I'd feel like a very, very ugly ogre asking a princess to the ball.

Whatever, I'll get to that when I have to get to that. There are just too many other things to worry about. It's become quite clear to me that I haven't the faintest idea how Kaoru thinks. I've been relying on end results way too much for both our goods.

From what I've heard so far, this is going to mean a whole bunch of surprises.

To be continued.

Author's Note: It occurred to me that Aoshi-sama and Kuno-sempai could do a chorus with the way they talk, but I suppose Aoshi-sama would do a kempo-kodachi (his swords, not Kuno's sister) combo on him for "disturbing the scope of his spiritual universe."

For all you Heterosexual-Sano lovers out there, please do not freak out on me! To be honest, I had to get that out of my system. It's in the back of my head, but I'm not going into this issue very much. I'll keep it vague, because the truth of the matter is, women manage to contemplate gay tendencies in men who are too "manly", so to speak, as much as in men who "aren't that heterosexual." Especially me, I think, who has a roster of queens for friends. They've been begging me to do a Homosexual-Sano, but I told them that I'm still way behind in understanding the homosexual mind, so I'd mostly likely make a mess of it.

This will go on, have no worries. I just have to get to work. Gotta work.