A/N: Okay, perhaps this can't be really considered ff because it is sort of just a fake advertisement for a new product, but it is amusing. This spawned from the late night insanity of me and my friend Amy, so don't even ask. Well mostly it was Amy's idea, but I typed it up and helped a bit. So enjoy.


XIRTAM®
"A new kind of free -
a product for your mind, your body, and your soul"
(think song from Office Space)

"To Hell with Yoga, this one little pill will free your mind
faster than you can say "there is no spoon."

Xirtam® - Still haven't made up your mind on that seemingly age-old question of "the blue pill or the red pill?" Well now you don't have to! Imagine that. With this one pill (conveniently colored half red and half blue) all your hassles are over. Sick of living in a computer generated dream world? Well pull that world back from your eyes and see the truth (yeah, yeah, I know "there is no spoon"). But this truth is much easier to grasp for those of us who are a few cans short of a six pack. Guaranteed to break the chains on this machine controlled prison and "free your mind before you can say 'there is no spoon'" because, frankly that whole spoon concept is a little beyond me (haha)!

Warning: Side effects may include bloody nose, numbness, and an undying affinity for blowing things up and using machine guns.

Note: Morpheus, tall buildings, operator, combat boots, and spoon boy not included.