Author's Note: WELL! That last chapter was indeed a blast to write. I tend to get compulsive when I'm working on details and loose ends. Got plans…got big plans…well, maybe not that big, but I'm sort of dragging this around because I didn't want to finish this fic so soon. It's not really over yet, but if I had done the wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am bit, the lot of you would've killed me in cold blood.
Sorry there isn't much going on with Aoshi and Misao, but the only reason they're in the fic is because Kenshin needed a spiritual boost from Buddha Boy (AND I needed someone with a nice ass.) I'll see what I can do with them, but it won't be a lot. Sorry Aoshi and Misao fans! Not much on Yahiko either. Well, maybe I'll do a fic about him next time.
As for Sano…I think I'll put you all out of your misery in this chapter with respect to his…ahem, preferences.
This is just Part 10. Don't you fret.
On with the story.
Mind of the Woman
Part X: The Truth Shall Set the Rooster-head Free
"SO!" Sano began, holding out his sake cup to Kaoru who was filling it diligently without a word for the last twenty minutes. "Let me get this straight. You were all curious about my new job…"
"I was worried!" Kaoru protested.
Sano chuckled, his cheeks already a little red from the earlier doses of sake. "Alright, Jou-chan, you were worried. The rest were just curious, that is, until you got them all as worried as you were."
Kaoru turned red without the help of the sake. I wasn't proof against the implications either.
Yahiko's conscience was clean. The kid only wanted to snoop, which to him was completely natural for a brat. Furthermore, the thought that Sano was granting sexual favors for money never crossed his mind.
Kaoru felt the worse between the two of us, I'll wager. I had only thought Sano was doing something inappropriate when we eavesdropped underneath the window of Arataki, but Kaoru has apparently been entertaining the theory in her head for quite some time now. For two days, I think, judging by her thoughts about seeing Sano going to some strange woman's house the other night.
I would have to ask her about that later on. What was she doing out there, at night? Unless she was snooping already, which wasn't likely. No, she was out there for some other reason. She came across Sano, saw some things she couldn't make out at first, then let it go for the meantime because obviously, she didn't want anyone to know she was there in the first place. My information about Sano keeping odd hours for his particular job triggered her outrageous conclusions.
My goodness, for someone who can read into her mind, I am totally and utterly boggled.
I couldn't believe how guarded she is, even in thought!
Even at this moment, she was revealing nothing. Just that she is so ashamed of herself and that she should not have thought of Sano that way. She would make occasional references to seeing Sano entering the woman's house, but that was just about it.
"So you followed me tonight based on this hunch of yours…" Sano continued, "…that I had actually taken up…what was that? He-Whoring?"
Kaoru turned even redder and Yahiko rolled on the floor, screaming in laughter.
"Man-Whoring, if you please," I corrected him. "He-Bitching, if you wish to put it another way. He-Whoring sounds too much like a donkey complaining." I said calmly.
Sano began to laugh loudly himself.
For someone who's been wrongfully accused, he's sure taking this well.
Kaoru frowned and her thoughts fired away. Raccoon-girl, you will never live this down! Megumi will laugh her head off to the next century, and Kenshin will think I'm the biggest ditz ever to walk this planet.
I wanted to tell her that the part about me would never be true. I can't vouch for Megumi, though.
"Let me tell you something, Jou-chan," Sano said, controlling his guffaws. "When it comes to sex and men…it ain't about the money!"
"Oro!"
Segara, you didn't have to tell her that! That's way too much information.
The secret lives of men ought to be kept the way it is from the likes of my Kaoru…secret!
Still, I can feel my horror mixing with mirth. I am beginning to see just how ridiculous this situation is.
Sano and Yahiko collapsed in another fit of laughter.
"It's not funny!" Kaoru cried, a genuine pout on her lips. "I was really afraid you had resorted to desperate measures! And you can't entirely blame me either. Why didn't you tell us you were working as an Emergency Handyman?"
Ah, good point there. I would like to know what possessed Sano not to divulge his current career.
Sano took a deep breath to control his laughter and shook his head. He began to blush more deeply than what the sake was capable of doing. "Jou-chan, you should know that by now. Big, bad Segara Sanosuke, prying rats out of breadboxes…sometimes climbing up trees to recover an old lady's cat…fixing leaks in roofs on an unexpectedly stormy night…it ain't me."
Kaoru stared at him incredulously. "You were ashamed? But Sano…there's nothing to be ashamed about that!"
Sano shrugged. "Well, maybe not, now that I've thought about it, but at the beginning, it took some getting used to. My reputation as a bad-ass…it's my thing, you know. I'm sort of fond of being thought of as a good for nothing free-loading gambler. People were actually afraid of me, now the folks in my part of town see me as Mr. Dependable, which is totally…bizarre, to say the least. Felt like abandoning my beliefs."
And that, my friends, is the great Sano-istic Philosophy: Bumming is an art.
Count on Sano to think of freeloading as a difficult occupation to maintain.
Which brings me to my next question. "What made you 'abandon your beliefs'?"
"Oh, the Fox-lady said I couldn't keep a job if my life depended on it," Sano replied without hesitation. "I had to prove her wrong, of course. That woman acts so high and mighty when it comes to how people should live their lives…pissed me off, I tell ya."
"Pissed you off," Yahiko repeated. "Riiiiiiight."
Sano scowled at him. "Well, it did!"
Oro! So Sano does care about Megumi!
Oopsie, incoming! Kaoru's thoughts suddenly chimed.
I followed her gaze and I saw Misao and Aoshi arriving from their walk.
What time is it anyway? They were out for an awfully long time.
Aoshi was laden with packages and Misao carried a few of her own. The two had apparently gone shopping in the night market. As usual, Aoshi looked neither pleased nor peeved, but Misao was bouncing about in her perpetual state of energy.
"We're back!" Misao cried cheerfully, pulling Aoshi with her up on the porch.
"Welcome back!" Kaoru returned with a wide smile. "My, you must have bought the whole flea market!"
Misao shook her head. "Nope! Just half of it!" She began to take the packages from Aoshi and lay them out on the floor.
I wonder how Aoshi does his shopping.
Aoshi in a shopping spree: The wind whispers…it summons me, telling me, that the scope of my perimeter is adversely affected by the things I do…yet I am minute, relatively devoid of existence in the expanse of this universe. Infinite, never ending, full of the inconspicuous…
Market Stall Owner: Do you want to buy the damn shoe-cleaner or don't you?
Yep, that's pretty much how it would go.
Aoshi dropped something on the floor and he bent over to pick it up.
"Hello," Kaoru surmised, raising an eyebrow as she…tried to nonchalantly get a better view of…
Oh, fer crying out loud!
I spotted Misao doing the same thing, only less nonchalantly.
Alright, it figures! Aoshi's got the ladies in that department, and it's not like he can help it if Kaoru thinks it's a little cute, but damn!
I'm getting kinda tired of Kaoru checking him out.
What the hell is so special about Aoshi's butt anyway? It's not like it's totally different from mine, right? Is it? Feh!
I squinted for the split second glance at his behind.
Shees! They all look the same to me. 'Course, that's maybe just because I haven't taken to examine the male anatomy. I can certainly tell the difference with women, but I think I'm not going to go into that.
"What…? What is Kenshin looking at?"
Wait a minute…that was Kaoru's thoughts…eep! She caught me looking at Aoshi's…oh man!
I looked away immediately and my eyes involuntarily fell on Sano who was…also staring.
Yaargh! Damn Buddha Boy must have a beacon up his a-hole! He's raking everyone in!
Even Sano whom I thought….
"Hey!" I somewhat whispered to him, nudging him in the ribs. "What are you staring at?"
This prompted Sano out of his daze and brought his attention to me. "Eh?"
"What are you staring at?" I repeated, bearing down on him.
Panic began to register in Sano's eyes. "N-Nothin'!"
I half squinted at him and crossed my arms over my chest. "You and I, we have to talk." I said in a low voice.
"That's it, Kenshin. Find out once and for all, so I'll know if I can ask him to stay with me in the dojo permanently."
Oro! Kaoru's got the senses of a tiger!
She was pretending not to listen, and she skillfully attended to the new arrivals.
Sano said nothing for a few seconds then he nodded. "Fine. Tomorrow afternoon."
"Agreed," I replied.
I met Sano the next day in a tavern near his house. He already had a small bottle of sake on the table and judging by the flush of his cheeks, he had partaken of it as well.
God knows I could use a drink, but I never did like sake very much.
My day with Kaoru did not go well. It seems that the situation about my attentions to her has gotten worse. Whereas before it was only her thoughts that were manifesting the sadness over the way I treated her, today she had almost taken to cry about it right in front of everyone. So much so that Misao actually pulled her to some corner where I couldn't have access to her mind. She has been with Misao ever since and I couldn't even get a look-see.
There was something ineffably irritating about making a mess of things when you just want to make things better.
Not my best of days.
"Care for some of this, Kenshin?" Sano asked me, gesturing to the sake bottle as I took my seat across from him.
I shook my head as a waitress approached us upon seeing I was a new arrival. "No, thank you. It's too early for that."
Sano shrugged. "Have some anyway. You're paying for it."
"Oro!" Of all the low-down dirty things… "You're really something else! You expect me to finance your bad habits?"
"Hey, you're the one who wanted to talk," Sano told me pointedly.
I frowned. "Even when you have a job, you're a freeloader."
"Can I get you anything, Red?" The waitress asked, wiping her hands on a dishcloth.
"Yes, some respect," I muttered grouchily. Sano could really gnaw into a bad mood real fast.
The waitress raised an eyebrow. "Sorry Red. We're all out of that today. Anything else?"
I looked at the waitress who was calmly waiting for me to order. "No. I don't think I'll order anything today. Maybe tomorrow, when somebody isn't mooching off my fabulously heavy pouch of coffers," I replied, directing my sarcasm at Sano.
"You sure, Red? We make great miso. You look like you could use some. It does wonders to a person's complexion."
Very funny. "Thank you. I'll remember that the next time I do a facial."
She grinned. "Hey, Sanosuke. Didn't know you had such grouchy friends."
This woman has just turned my mood from bad to worse. "Didn't know I needed your approval," I muttered.
She gave me an amused grin. "Only when it comes to my favorite street-fighter."
"Oh, woe is me. My life is over because Sano's fans don't think I'm peachy-keen," I said flatly.
The woman grinned and put a hand to her hip, tilting her head as she looked at me. "Say…ever thought of becoming a waitress?"
Oro…
Sano chuckled. "Leave him alone, Yanagi-chan. I think he woke up on the wrong side of the bed."
"Your girl gave you the cold shoulder, Red?"
I sighed. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if she were really talking about Kaoru. My love life is an open book. Everyone is just waiting for the next episode. "I am very, very sorry for being so rude, Yanagi-dono. This isn't one of the best days for this unworthy one."
Yanagi laughed. "Yeah, whatever. I'll shut up now, but if you decide to wait tables, let me know."
She walked away, probably to attend to the other customers.
It just figures that I had to bite someone's head off. This meeting with Sano isn't even supposed to be about me. It's about Sano, and whatever it is he's hiding.
"Wanna talk about it?" Sano asked.
Mr. Sensitive now, is he? Ulch! Doesn't fit him. "That's for another time, Sano. Right now, I have some questions for you."
"Shoot."
How do I put this?
Sano, I'm just curious, really, what do you think of Aoshi's butt?
Sano, do you like men as opposed to say…women?
I don't know why I'm putting my life on the line here. Somehow, a voice is telling me that if Sano is indeed straight, he'd likely kill me if I asked him about his sexual preferences. Straight and homophobic. That would be the combination with him.
On the other hand, if he was gay, I should have nothing to be afraid of. After all, it would be for his own good if he came out with it. As his best friend, I should help him cope with things like that.
These delicate questions sure could put a lot of strain on me.
How to ask…how to ask…"Sano, are you gay?"
"WHAT?!?!?"
Eh? Oh SHIT!
I said it OUT LOUD!
"What the f&*% did you just ask me?" Sano demanded, turning redder than ever.
Oookay…not quite the delicacy I was aiming for.
Even with his reaction, I still don't know what I got myself into. It's either he's going to deny me, if he's gay, or he's going to be one very, very pissed and ticked off macho straight man.
"Umm…" I don't know why I get myself into these things. "S-Sano…no need to get angry, my friend. It's not like it's a bad thing! This unworthy one would just like to know…"
He grabbed me by the front of my gi before I could even protect myself and he glared menacingly.
"Do I LOOK like I'm gay?" He demanded.
"Oro! It's not like there's a look to it!" I explained hastily.
"Look here, you pretty-boy-laundry-addicted-kitchen-girlie-man…"
"Hey! I resent that!" And I did! What the hell's so wrong about liking detergents and cooking? I ought to beat him to a pulp all over again! I tell you, I was too easy on these guys when I whipped their asses! I get no R-E-S-P-E-C-T whatsoever.
Steam was practically coming out of his ears. "If I'm gay, then what the hell have I been doing dreaming about the Fox-lady every goddamn night? Who do you think I've been getting off on, you?!?!? Shit! What the f*&% is wrong with you?" His voice was already getting loud, and I swear, if he shook me any harder, my brain would start clattering to the floor.
"Sanosuke! C-Calm down!" Straight and rabidly homophobic. Check! "This unworthy one did not mean to offend you!"
Amidst his anger, a trace of something odd passed his face. He released me and moved away a bit. "Hey…are you asking 'cause…you know, you're looking for company?"
Oh brother. Now I'm gay.
Wouldn't it have been convenient to be gay in the oh-so-testosterone-dominated Ishinshishi?
"No Sano, I am not gay," I replied calmly, just relieved that he had gotten past some of his anger. At least I am sure to keep my teeth. "Granted, I am neater than most men…" I arched my eyebrow pointedly in his direction. "It just means that I'm not a slob."
"Hey! Who are you calling a slob?"
"WHATEVER. The point is, I asked you because I was concerned that if you were gay, I just wanted to know because I am your friend. And you're not the only one dreaming about women."
He glared at me again.
Was it something I said?
"You leave the Fox-lady alone!"
I cannot believe the mood swings of this man and just how idiotic it can make him. "Sano, you first class idiot! I'm not talking about Megumi-dono!"
Sano blinked, the last traces of his anger disappearing. "Oh. Well, I knew that. So, is Jou-chan like, kinky in your dreams?"
"Oro! I'm not going to talk about that!" Catch me telling him about that dream I had of Kaoru in the dojo holding a bokken and wearing absolutely nothing…too much information. Well, two can play at that game. "What do you mean you get off on Megumi-dono?"
Sano did the impossible. He blushed. "Jeez! Do I have to spell it out?"
For the first time that day, I found it in myself to laugh. "Oro! So you DO know how to handle a sword!"
Sano made a fist. "Hey! That was nasty!"
"Maa…" I tried to say calmly, but I fell to laughing again.
"Don't you dare tell me you don't get off on Jou-chan, rurouni!" Sano said through grit teeth.
Shees. As if I'd tell him. "Let me ask you this, Sanosuke. What were you doing checking Aoshi out?"
"Oh that," Sano replied, blushing a bit more.
My, isn't this the strangest of days?
"Megumi said something about me being on her ugly list, then she said that I should ask Aoshi for some pointers on how to improve my looks. She also mentioned that he had a nice piece of you-know-what. She sort of made references to you too," Sano explained, making a face. "What the hell is it with his butt anyway? Did you see the girls ogling him last night? It's a conspiracy, I tell you."
Ah. So he noticed. He isn't as oblivious as I thought. "Sanosuke, if I knew, then I would have to be gay."
"Right. So, are we done with that issue?"
"Quite."
"Great. So, what are your plans for Jou-chan?"
I really should make a newsletter on it. "The Daily Kenshin and Kaoru" it would be called. Written up as "Your update into the latest buzz on what's going down with K&K."
I shook my head and decided that a shot of sake didn't seem like such a bad idea. "Sano, pardon me, if you please…but…stuff it."
I feel like I'm an assassin again. The ole hitokiri doing his thing. Hiding in the shadows, bushes, trees…I have to be careful. It is now apparent to me that Kaoru isn't as easy to trail as I thought. Last night she knew someone was trailing her. I won't make that same mistake again.
After dinner this evening, I spent most of my time trying to get into Kaoru's head. I was hoping she would release an unguarded thought, maybe about what she was doing out in the streets for the past few nights. She was distracted. She revealed nothing, except that she was going out again, tonight.
So here I am, following her. I noticed that she wasn't dressed as awfully as when she went out for Sano. In fact, she looked quite nice. It gave me more reason to watch out for her. Protect her from those who might get stupid ideas in their heads when they saw her comely appearance.
With the way she looked, gorgeous in her lavender kimono, I'm surely not the only one who'll go gaga over her.
Right now, I peered at her from the top of a leafy tree, well hidden from everyone else. I couldn't get close enough to pick on her thoughts, but I'm waiting for my chance to close in unnoticed.
I saw her entering the shrine and some of my worry dissipated.
Shrine is okay. Shrine is good. I can wait a bit more.
I think I'm getting too old for this. I've got a little crick on my back sitting in this tree. Boy, Kaoru sure could pray. She hasn't come out of the shrine for near thirty minutes.
My devout little Kaoru. If she's praying for me, I ought to tell her good luck.
God standing in front of the gates of paradise: You there! Red with the scar on your face! Where do you think you're going?
Me, trying to sneak into paradise: Eh? Are you talking to this unworthy one?
God, extremely annoyed: No, I'm talking to the scar-faced red-haired guy behind you…who else would I be talking to? Think you can get past the list, hmmm?
Me, wanting to sink through the floor: Umm…this unworthy one's tried to be good…
God glares at me: Says here you were a hitokiri during the Bakumatsu.
Me, trying to slip God some money: Eh he…maybe you can forget about that in view of the following…?
God will of course go into a divine rampage and send me straight to hell.
I sighed. This unworthy one has a lot of catching up to do.
I almost fell off my branch when I spotted Kaoru coming out of the shrine. She had her trusty parasol with her.
Autumn showers have been common of late, but I'll bet my hide it was more than just a fear of getting wet that she brought it around. The Kamiya Kasshin adjutant master would likely keep it handy as a weapon, because as Kaoru had so pointed out in her adorable way, she didn't have a bokken to match any of her kimonos.
Upon reaching the street, she went the opposite direction of her original route.
Where is she off to this time?
Stealthily, I followed.
To be continued…
Author's Note: Heterosexual-Sano fans…feel better now? Thought so. I really like throwing off my readers. It sort of makes things unpredictable. Next chapter might be a bit WAFFier than usual. I dunno. We'll see. I hope you stay tuned.
I'm really sorry I'm slow on the chapters, but I have this business, see…yeah, yeah, I know. Excuses, excuses…but Fanfiction.net doesn't pay me anything for writing this stuff, so I gotta find some other source of income so I can buy the coffee I'm living off from.
I'll try to post the next chapter up soon.
'Till that time…ja!