A/N: Okay,
What She Thinks: Chapter 15: Words We Wish We Never Heard
"Well, I was going to ask if you sent any letters to--"
"Sirius? Oh, yah, he's great, says Lupin's great too." His laugh seemed rather choked.
"You did it, didn't you?" She asked, stopping again, but this time, Harry continued to walk.
"Did--did what?"
Hermione gave him a look that clearly said, "Oh, yah, and you have no clue."
Harry smiled weakly.
"You sent the--"
"Hermione, it's a school night."
"Funny, you didn't seem to care a moment ago." She muttered.
Harry began to head back to the castle when Hermione stopped him.
"Harry, why did you bring me out here anyway?" She asked timidly, not wanting to put a lot of pressure on the question in fear he might not answer.
Harry shrugged, "I just wanted to know if you ki--If you had a good time with Ron on Holloween." He nodded, not looking at her, but at the lake once more.
"You could have asked me that anytime," She pointed out matter-o-factly.
"Well, did you?" His breath caught in his throat as he said this, making him turn his head further away as he coughed.
She smiled, "It was…great." She seemed to be reasoning with herself more so than Harry.
"Really great or great great?" He pressed on, finally meeting her eyes.
"It was wonderful," She said simply, thinking of her talk with Cho and all the reassurance it had brought.
"Oh," He stared back down at the grass.
"What?" She said, slowly beginning to walk towards him, trying to catch his eye. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," He said quickly, making Hermione narrow her eyes in suspicion.
"Really Harry, you can talk to me."
He gave a low, hollow chuckle.
"Not about something's," his words were breathless and barley distinguishable.
"What?" She repeated, becoming quite irritated.
"Guy stuff, now come on, let's go in, it's getting cold."
"I'm not moving from this spot until you tell me." She said stubbornly, jabbing a finger toward the ground then crossing her arms.
Harry rolled his eyes. "Don't make this difficult."
"Tell me!"
Sighing, he approached her, Hermione was uncertain on what he had planned but she sensed it was going to work.
Reaching her he flung one arm around her waist and proceeded back to the castle, dragging her behind him and ignoring her constant struggles and whines about how dirty he was making the heels of her tennis shoes.
He stopped infront of the great oak doors, setting her back on her feet and put a finger to his lips.
"Tell me." She repeated stiffly.
Harry however did not acknowledge her but smirked and slipped the cloak over the two of them.
On their way through the castle she couldn't help but notice how heavy Harry's breathing was. They turned into a passage Hermione was unfamiliar with. Stopping suddenly he took a deep breath and seemed to be content on a decision. With a mighty tug he pulled her into a door to their right.
Hermione dropped the cloak and looked around.
"Harry, what are you doing?" She whispered, watching Harry pace back and forth, he seemed very disturbed and didn't answer. "Harry?"
"What? Oh, I thought I heard voices." He said flatly.
The room seemed to be an unused classroom judging by the dust building steadily on the desks.
She looked once more at Harry, running his fingers distractedly through his hair, muttering strange things under his breath.
"Harry! What are you--"
"Hermione kiss me."
"What?" This statement registered ever so slowly through her brain, it was a rather bizarre request.
"You heard me. I want you to kiss me."
"What--Why?" She sputtered, laded with shock, she found herself glued to the spot as Harry stumbled up to her, looking hopeful.
He shrugged, "Because I want you to."
"But--You--Why?" She managed, blinking furiously in confusion.
"I'm surprised to actually find you at a loss for words." He muttered, leaning close to her.
"What about Cho?" She asked, regaining movement in her limbs and placing her hands quickly on Harry's chest.
"Kiss me now and I'll explain in a moment, sound fair?" He said, smiling. As much as Hermione wanted Harry to ask her such a question, she didn't know how to answer.
"Promise?" She whispered, deciding to keep her answer simple and leaning back slightly as Harry took her wrists and brought them around his neck. Closing the very little distance there was left between them he kissed her…again. Hermione felt that desire rush back through her vanes, her heart pumping madly. A show of bright, colorful lights shot before her, making her blood run hot, like in a tub of boiling water. The feeling was of passion she had imagined but never felt. She arched her shoulders a tad as Harry ran his hands soothingly down her arms only to wrap them around her back, pulling her closer.
It was total bliss, and only ended when they parted, the flashes of bright light danced on the back of her eyelids a moment before she opened them.
She ran a hand through his hair.
"I suppose you're still waiting for that explanation?" Harry whispered, smiling contently.
"To be completely truthful it had completely slipped my mind." She admitted, her eye only half open.
"Dammit."
She laughed again and let her hands fall down his back before dropping them to her sides. However, Harry didn't let go.
"Harry, if you're going to tell me, it's probably best if we sit down." She suggested.
"Oh, right." He muttered not moving.
"Well, in order to sit down you have to let me go." She continued, placing her hands on his and trying to loosen his grip.
"No, I don't want to." He sniggered, shaking his head and reminding her of forcibly of her three-year-old cousin in America. "But we can sit down, that is, if you want to." He reasoned.
"Yes, I do but--" And before Hermione could stop him he had leaned back so her feet weren't touching the ground and staggered to the nearest chair. Sitting down he shifted her in his lap and cradled her like a small child.
There was a moment in which the two stared at eachother, when Hermione broke the gaze Harry also began to laugh.
"Well," Harry began, "In short: As--pretty--as I find Cho, there's something you have she never will."
Hermione stared at him, puzzled.
"And what's that?" She asked, he smiled at her, though not his usual smile, it seemed deeper to Hermione.
"A sense of self," He whispered, leaning close to her.
Again, she stared at him.
"Well, Cho does things because other people do things, and that shows no--" he struggled for words
"Strength of character," Hermione said helpfully. Harry nodded.
"And that's why I consider you a much closer friend than I do Cho," Hermione began to nod but stopped, Friend!? What kind of "friend" kisses his "friend" like that? The smile on her face vanished, she stared down then closed her eyes. Friend? Never did she think this word could be so painful. There was a sharp pain in her chest; similar to those she suffered from during gym in Elementary School. However, this pain was deeper, and only became more painful the longer she sat there.
"Hermione?"
"Look," She struggled to her feet; "I better go."
"Hermione? What's wrong?" Harry asked as she laid a hand on the doorknob, unable to look at him and ignoring the invisibility cloak.
Her eyes began to sting from the tears she fought to hold back. Yes, she had been a fool, no use denying it. But on top of being a fool she had been wrong. Wrong about Harry, and the notes; wrong about love and its meanings. She continued to open the door when Harry spoke again.
"Hermione look at me! Hermione?"
"Is that all I mean to you Harry? A friend?" She tried desperately to keep her voice normal, though with every tear she choked back her voice became thicker.
"Hermione," Harry whispered, she heard the old chair groan as he stepped cautiously across the floor, "I would do anything--anything for you."
"But That's it, I'm still just a friend--"
"My best friend." He said, she knew he was right behind her, she couldn't yell and if she turned around--to late--
"YOU'RE BEST FRIEND?" She hollered in complete rage, turning on him. "Is that all I mean to you Harry Potter?!" Harry backed languidly up against the wall, dumfounded at her explosion as she advanced on him. "I loved you so much Harry!"
Tears were now streaming freely down her face, as her voice became horse. She stopped and stared at him, her finger still raised to his chest.
The silence between them was filled with confusion, anger, and regret. It nearly weighed her breathing down, pushing on her chest.
Harry was the first to find his voice, "You--You love me?" He swallowed hard.
In sudden regret Hermione drew a deep breath, closing her eyes, wondering what she wouldn't have given to disappear on the spot, even if it did mean finding her self in the Sahara Desert.
She turned slowly and began to walk away, only to groan at the door, thinking her luck couldn't have gotten any worse, it had.
A/N: How'd you like it. 10 is once again the magic number! Don't forget to
~Gabbi D.