A/N: This is a little gruesome and filled with mature matters. You have been warned. I hope you enjoy. ^^ Please r&r!

As always, CCS isn't mine. But I am going to kidnap Syaoran though! ::hehehehehehe:: You know who it belongs to!

Dusk

She laid on the floor and was distracted to say the least. She ran her fingers over the wood-grain floor and tested her nails against it to see if her nails would snap off at the pressure. She gave up and glanced up and out the window. Large, glass patio windows lead outside to the lush tropical garden. Late afternoon sunshine poured in and narrowly escaped crossing her face. A yellow coverlet was on the untouched bed. She had preferred the floor. And the rug she was on was deep and plush too.

She could not believe that she had came here. He offered her something from her solace; which was too good a chance to give up. It was something she could not resist and had given in willingly. Now, she just kept looking out through her faded windows that used to be some color beyond emerald. She did not attend to be with him in this state of mind, but it felt good and released her through some pain she had kept inside.

He walked in and sat down next to her. How he would tell his lover about being with her he did not know. Running his fingers through her hair, she stirred slowly and looked up at his pale complexion and his mystical white hair.

"How are you feeling?" he asked her gently.

"I am no longer in pain, Yuki-san," she muttered.

He grimaced at her remembering the expression that had gone across her face and the way she had trembled in his arms. He was responsible for taking the last innocence away from her. It had been a great surprise that he had not been with her before then.

"I am sorry about that. I didn't know. I thought for sure that it had already happen before now. With him..."

She sat up and pulled the sheet up against her bare skin, "Iie. We never had an opportunity arise. He was too much to shy. I was not going to force the issue."

Yukito noticed the way her eyes lit up for a second as she reminiscence then faded back to that dull luster. She looked away from him and he wanted to pull her against him again. But she probably regretted their actions now. He handed her the cup of green tea he had made.

She took it and blew at the little wisps of steam that arose from the cup. She realized through her haze that he was probably trying to cheer her up. She looked up at his worried expression, forcing a smile. There, maybe he would not be hurt when she got up and left abruptly.

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Two hours later, he had settled in to one of his and onii-chan's chairs and was leafing through a book when she sneaked out the backdoor. Hopefully her onii-chan would not find out about this encounter between them. He would be hurt deeply by their betrayal and today she did not fell like facing a wrathful onii-chan.

She glanced both ways and crossed the street. She did not need to really look because she could sense things like that now out of sheer habit. The park was close by and she somehow wander into it and ended up sitting on one of the desolate swings. The laughing children had been carried home by their mothers hours ago.

She looked up as if in a dream and it dawned on her where she had come to unconsciously. She noted the swing she sat in and recalled this had been where she had run to all those years ago. His sad smile as he listened to her and pulled her into his arms. She cried passionately and was a little fool not to realize he loved her himself. Today she had been with the one she had cried over into Syaoran-kun's arms over. Yet, it was not something the Sakura of yesteryear would have envisioned.

"Oh...Syaoran-kun, I wish you were still here. I did not mean to do what I did today. I was lonely and Yuki-san's eyes said it was okay. I have betrayed you both. You and Onii-chan's...," she began to cry again. This time however no arms were going to envelope her and soothe her in a luxurious false comfort. She had tried to find that with Yuki-san and it had failed.

She sat there for a long time not hearing the old schoolyard bell call out the hours to her one by one. When she finally stumbled home it was long past midnight and she fell into bed silently. Dreams would come to her and her false maidenhood.

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He had smiled up at her and she felt her face flush. Those chocolaty amber eyes were calling her. He was happy and it was all she could do not to throw herself into his arms. He reached out cautiously and pulled her into his arms.

O...yes...he smelt like chocolate, cinnamon, spices, and that unearthly, unattainable manly smell that made him Syaoran-kun. She could have died then and there as he pressed his lips softly against her face.

"Sakura-chan, I love you. More than I could ever tell you how much..."

She writhed in his arms and pulled herself back just a heartbeat, "Syaoran-kun, I love you," she was broken off as his mouth tenderly came upon hers.

She felt her left hand being lifted gently and with a smooth motion she felt a cool ringlet slipped down on her sacred finger. She looked up and stared into his eyes with a question.

"Sakura, marry me," he said huskily, purposely leaving off the distance spanning '-chan'.

Her arms were about him like that as she tried to pull herself closer to his heart beating under his thick chest wall. It was perfect as his arms encircled her waist. She stood on tiptoe and whispered the answer. The only answer he ever wanted to hear.

"Yes. Why even ask? I can't live without you anymore," she whispered."

She heard his intake of breath and the heat on her face told her he was blushing. Then she heard a bang...

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Sakura sat up suddenly. It was only a dream. Only a dream. She tried to calm herself. Yes, that was a dream but it was the memory of the happiest and saddest day of her life. She clung to the bed sheets. Her nails were drawing blood at her palms. She winced slightly when she looked down and saw the blood streaking down her pale wrist. It was like a sign to her. A way out of her pain.

She went to her bath and drew it. Warm and steamy. She liked it that way. She debated over pouring in some bubble bath. No use in pushing it. She slipped on a robe over her semi-transparent gown and walked down the hallway of her small, lonely apartment.

Dialing the number she had not bothered to call in months came easily.

"Moshi moshi," came the sleep reply. She almost caught herself smiling at the thought of her former best friend answering.

"Hi."

Tomoyo eyes shot open and she stared at the receiver in disbelief. It could not be her Sakura-chan. No. Sakura had not bothered to call in months.

"Sakura-chan?" her voice cracked even as she tried to control it.

"Tomoyo-chan... I just wanted to call you now. I am sorry for everything."

"Oh, Sakura-chan! Please don't be! I am just so happy. Truly happy you called me. It has been so long since we last spoke."

"I know. I just am sorry you are going to be the last one to hear my voice."

"What are you saying? Please, Sakura! What are you thinking?" Tomoyo's voice has risen. Eriol sat up next to his bride.

"What is it? What is happening with her?" he asked as he fumbled for his glasses.

Tomoyo did not answer but sprang up and began to rift through her drawers and closet and flung on clothes and she continued to talk to Sakura.

"Please stay right there! Don't do anything till I get there. Promise me that for old time's sake, Sakura!" she was sobbing desperately into the receiver now.

Eriol was out of bed and was throwing on clothes as fast as he could also. The Card Mistress was beyond distressed and Sakura needed them both. He grabbed Tomoyo by the wrist and hurried her out the door to the car.

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Sakura sat on the side of the tub. It was a western style bathtub. She had liked the design and bought it for herself. She had been planning to bring Syaoran here. It was roomy and large enough for two people.

The silver knife laid on the floor where she had flung it fitfully. It's use was not good enough for this one. She sat there with his sword unsheathed on her lap. It still gleamed as ever. He had been the last one to touch it. It had been in her closet wrapped in velvet just moments before.

Her eyes blanked out as she recalled it clanging to the ground.

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"Syaoran? Syaoran? What is wrong? Oh, my God! Someone help!" she screamed hoarsely as he went limp in her arms.

His head lolled upon her breast as she saw the crimson blood seeping through his hair. She went to her knees and held him close to her.

"Oh, Syaoran... please! You can't leave me now! Not this way," she sobbed as it hit home what was happening.

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They took his body out of her arms. Forcibly. She was on her knees in the sidewalk and the rain was pouring down on her. She did not recall the rain. Just the way her clothes stuck to her as Tomoyo and Onii-chan dragged her to her feet. The blood on the pavement. On her. Everywhere. And the ring glistened like his sword still. At the edges of the emerald there was a burgundy stain. His blood that had dripped down on it as she pressed her hand at the wound.

She took her own hand and ran her fingers along the sword's edge. A split second of anguish made her clench her teeth as she split her skin on it. She let the blood course down on to the ring. Their blood was joined. Forever.

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Tomoyo and Eriol ran into her apartment. Tomoyo caught her breath in the doorway to the bathroom.

"Sakura-chan..." her voice trembled.

Sakura lifted her head slightly. The pass of a smile upon her lips. Her lavender robe was soaked because Sakura had slipped down into the tub and was sitting in it sideways. Her legs dangled off the side. The water was up to her elbows.

Tomoyo fell to her knees. She crawled across the floor. She noted the slender knife under the pedestal sink. Luckily no traces were on it. Syaoran-kun's sword was next to the tub where Sakura had dropped it in her flashback anguish. Eriol leaned in the doorway and kept a placid face.

"Sakura-chan... what are you doing?"

"Oh, Tomoyo-chan. I just remembered it all over again," her voice was weak with the shock of emotions.

"Remembered what?"

"That night at the park. He pulled me close. He smelt so good. Chocolate. Cinnamon. Spices. And all Syaoran-kun. It was heavenly."

Tomoyo nodded as Sakura rolled her head back, dreamlike, on the bathroom wall.

"Then he asked me to marry him. O... the best thing ever to happen to me. It was everything I ever wanted. So happy... Then the blood was seeping down his face. It was everywhere. Did you know the sidewalk is still stained? I saw it today. . ."

"Did they ever find out why?"

"Oh, I got a letter sometime back. Some sort of condolence. A random shooting. He just happened to be in the way. All because of me. He was proposing and holding on to me. Such love making in the park with just his words and our hearts beating together in time."

Tomoyo reached her hand carefully into the bath water. It was oily. She noted a spilt bottle of bath oil. She ran her hand through it till her hand met Sakura's.

"Sakura-chan, I know it still hurts. Please don't do this. I am here. Like I have always been."

Sakura's hand tightened over Tomoyo's, "I know that. You were always with me. Do you know what I did today?"

Tomoyo shook her hand in mild confusion.

"I went over to Onii-chan's and Yuki-san's place. Onii-chan wasn't home. But Yuki-san was. We did something that Syaoran-kun and I never got a chance to. I was lonely. And it was lovely for awhile. He even turned into Yue-san for a brief while. Do you know how angel wings feel against bare skin?"

Eriol had now moved to Tomoyo's side.

"You slept with him?" Eriol asked her gently.

"Yes. I did not go there for that though. But I was so lonely. And it was nice at first... But now I can't ever face Syaoran-kun again."

Tomoyo whispered to her, "Sakura-chan. I am sure Syaoran-kun would not mind. He knows you are lonely and upset. But how are you going to explain it to your onii-chan?"

Sakura smiled almost sleepily.

"I don't think he'll ever know. Are you going to tell him? Tomoyo-chan? Eriol-kun?" she added realizing he was there also.

"No, Sakura-chan. We won't."

"That is so nice of you. Aragato."

Tomoyo leaned forward and did not notice her long ash-dusk purple hair trailing into the tub. She pulled Sakura into her embrace and then saw it.

"Sakura-chan? What is this?" She pulled Sakura's wrist up.

Eriol observed the dried blood crisscrossing Sakura's arms.

"My blood. I cut myself earlier...," her voice trailed off in exhaustion.

Eriol and Tomoyo pulled her up out of the tub as she dripped with tears and bathwater. Sakura cried when she saw Syaoran's sword. Blood lacerated it. As she was carried away by Eriol, her blood dripped slowly from the slashes in her wrist onto his sword and from the silver band on her finger...

A/N: I know this one is sad and anguished filled. I hope it isn't that bad. I just was struck with wanting to write something sad and sorrowful. Replies would be greatly appreciated.

I know Sakura isn't often portrayed as suicidal, but how would she be if something drastic did happen to Syaoran?

Thanks for reading. ^^