If I let them go I'll be outdone
But if I try to catch them I'll be
outrun
If I'm killed by the questions like a cancer
Then I'll be buried
in the silence of the answer
[by myself]
"Oh.. oh fuck!" Duo cried out as his cock slammed into my body
harshly.
My head snapped back, mouth gaping open
as I clutched at his shoulders and waist, trying to find something to hold onto.
My legs were spread open indecently and he was nestled between my thighs,
fucking me hard and fast. This was one of those times where we had been so
impatient that we hadn't thought to use lubricant, so when I cried out; it was
from pleasure and pain. But damn it was like the pain made it better, more
exciting. Every time his searing length drove into me, the tip slammed against
my prostate hard and it made me see stars. I was wailing desperately, incoherent
sounds escaping my throat as I practically sobbed, trying to beg him for more.
Tears had leaked from the corners of my eyes; that's how intense our joining
was.
I had just been about to wrap my thighs
around him when suddenly he was yanking out of me and running hurriedly for the
back door, pulling on his clothes as he did so. It was so unexpected and I was
so unsatisfied that I curled up into a ball, shaking and shivering. It was
almost a physical pain.. Having that kind of pleasure taken away so abruptly.
Before I could even figure out what happened, I felt a hand touching my bare
shoulder. I looked up; expecting to see his gorgeous violet orbs but instead to
my shock and horror I saw slanted obsidian eyes.
"H..Heero?" Wufei's voice was hoarse,
his eyebrows knotted in confusion.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw
Trowa and Quatre standing off to the side; staring at me wide eyed. I knew the
fear and embarrassment must have been plain on my face, so I buried my face in
my arms and began to shiver violently. //Oh god no.. no.. fuck.. Why does this
have to happen? fuck!// I thought that any minute they would be insulting me,
cursing me and maybe even hitting me. But instead..
"That motherfucker raped you!"
I froze in shock. How could they think
I had been raped? Had they not seen the way I grasped him and ground up to meet
his thrusts? Had they not seen the desperate way we had kissed? Were they so
blind that they would twist what had been so blatantly obvious into something
horrible and ugly?
"Oh god Heero! I'm so sorry!" Quatre
cried. He looked genuinely shocked, his wide eyes quickly running over my body
to see if Duo had "hurt" me. When his eyes stopped at my thighs, I didn't even
have to look to see what he found so fascinating. There was blood streaked down
the inside of my thighs, it probably looked like more than it was because
mingled with my sweat it had smeared all over the place.
"I'm going to kill him." Wufei snarled
furiously.
I opened my mouth to object, to tell
the truth. To tell them Duo was innocent and that I was the longhaired boy's
lover. That I loved him and needed him. But no sound came out. I had all of
these feelings inside of me and I was disgusted with myself. I was relieved that
they hadn't suspected the truth, even though that meant they would form a lynch
mob to get at Duo. I was relieved that I wasn't the one they were snarling about
and that now my parents would never find out. I was so relieved that I stayed
silent and let them believe what they want. I hated myself for it. I wanted to
die.
**
How do you think / I've lost so much
I'm so afraid / I'm out of touch
How do you expect / I will know what to
do
When all I know / Is what you tell me to
I heard them making their plan to
punish Duo for the crime he did not commit. I heard them making him out to be an
evil rapist and I didn't say a word. They figured I was in shock after my
"attack" and let me alone. The only time I spoke is when I choked out that I
would help them with their plan, and agreed to write a note to Duo, telling him
to meet me at the park.
Now here I stand in the shadows,
watching as they fling accusations at the poor confused boy. I watched as they
pushed him around and surrounded him. I see how his eyes widen in horror at
being accused of raping me.
"I swear to God I didn't do anything."
He sobbed. "Just ask Heero, he'll tell you.."
I approached on shaky legs, feeling as
though I would be sick any minute. I blinked back the tears that threatened to
spill from my eyes and schooled my features into an expressionless mask. "I
already told them." Duo's head whipped around and he stared at me wide eyed. "I
told them what you did to me." I whispered, the lie scalding my
throat.
"I never thought you would do it too
Heero." He whispered.
I couldn't stand to see the betrayed
look in his eyes so I turned my head quickly before anyone could see the tears.
I bit my lip to keep from sobbing out loud as I heard his hysterical laughter,
and the hard packing sounds of the other teenagers beating the life out of him.
It seemed like an eternity but soon they were shoving me in front of him and
urging me to get my revenge. I stared at him wide eyed. He didn't even look like
my Duo anymore. This wasn't the same laughing beauty that I had kissed and made
love with. The boy in front of me was disfigured, bloody and insane as he
continued to laugh. When he told me to kill him.. I think I went insane myself.
I beat him and hit him as I sobbed hysterically. I pounded him with my fists,
wanting to block out the way he had looked at me and the way I had fallen in
love with him.
When the others ran off, I collapsed to
my knees and cried miserably. "I'm so sorry." I whispered. "I.. they saw.. And
I.. I couldn't tell the truth... oh God I'm so sorry." I sobbed. "I never meant
for.. I never wanted you to.. I.. love you so much and.. please.. just.. I.." My
words trailed off as my sobs turned into loud anguished wails. I clutched his
limp fingers to my face and frantically wiped the blood from his face. It was
hopeless, my Duo was gone. I ran from the clearing, not even sure if he was
still alive.
I ran home and threw up violently, as I
collapsed limply in the bathroom. I stayed there and wept for hours, not capable
of doing anything else. As I drifted off into a miserable nightmare ridden
sleep, I found myself wishing I would die but not having the courage to take my
own life.
**
I knew before anyone told me that Duo
was dead, but the only difference is that I thought I had been the one to kill
him. My parents forced me to go to school the next day even though I was a
wreck. Dragging myself into the class, I avoided everyone's eyes and collapsed
in the back; trying not to look at Duo's vacant desk. I couldn't cry anymore; I
think I had used all of my tears up the day before. I was dead inside.
I kept hoping that he would come
walking through the door with a defiant grin on his face, but I knew deep down
that it wouldn't happen.
"I have an announcement to make."
I looked up blearily as Mr. Khushrenada
looked at each of us somberly. "Duo Maxwell killed himself last
night."
I felt like I had been stabbed in the
heart. Again.
Quatre shifted uneasily and shot the
others a look. "H..How do you know he killed himself?"
The ginger haired teacher sighed and
sat at his desk. He looked genuinely sad. "His parents found him in the
bathroom. He had slit his wrists. It's in the newspaper if you want to read
more."
He killed himself. He hadn't died in
the clearing.. He had killed himself. Somehow.. That struck me deeper than the
idea of me killing him had. It meant that in those last few hours.. He had
wanted to die and it was my fault. Everything was my fault. I was foolish and
selfish and heartless. I should be dead. I should have been the one to slit my
wrists.
"Oh well. One less fag in the
world."
Before I even knew what I was doing, I
was up and charging Relena. My fist was slamming into her plastic pretty face
and crunching against her jaw. I was pounding her just as I had done to Duo, and
when the others tried to pull me back I took them on too. "You idiots! You
killed him! I killed him! I hate you!" I shrieked hysterically.
It took five security guards to
restrain me and even then I was kicking and screaming. As they hauled me away I
continued to howl, screaming incoherent things and trying to pull away. Finally
they gave up and just dropped me on the hard tile floors. A crowd of shocked
students and teachers formed around me.
"I loved him.. I loved him so much and
you made me kill him. It was all a lie!" I screamed at them. I saw Wufei, Trowa
and Quatre staring wide eyed at me. Relena who was nursing a bloody nose stared
at me in disgust.
I must have looked insane like that. My
eyes all blood shot, pale and trembling.. Relena's blood splattered across my
face and shirt. But I didn't care because it didn't matter anymore. Before
anyone could stop me, I turned and ran.. Now wanting to see the revulsion that
was bound to be on their faces.
I ran from their ignorance, not caring
about my parents, my future or my fucking trust fund. I stumbled out of the
building, running away from everything... trying to outrun the memories that
were coming at me full force.
*FLASH*
"Oh fuck you man. Why do I always get
sent to the dean? What you need to do is put a muzzle on that bitch so no one
has to hear her mouth." The violet eyed beauty snorted.
"Why you little... nobody!" The blonde
shrieked in outrage.
"Duo Maxwell! Get up right now and go
to the dean."
I watched in fascination as the willowy
boy stood up gracefully and sauntered to the front of the room. His eyes met
mine as he passed and I could have sworn he gave me a full body once over.
Although I took what would become my permanent place at Relena's side, I watched
until the gorgeous creature was gone.
*FLASH*
I quickly stepped behind Duo, not
wanting him to get in any trouble even if he had been trying to steal. "It's all
right Howard, I got it." I informed the funky looking man. Howard gave me a
strange look but took the money out of my out stretched palm.
Duo spun around and fixed me with a
heated glare. Sometimes I wonder if he knows how sexy he looks when he is mad
and sometimes I am so tempted to tell him. "I can pay myself." He snapped at me
angrily. I raised both eyebrows at him, surprised at the contempt in his voice.
I snorted skeptically but instantly regretted it when his eyes narrowed
dangerously. The last thing I wanted to do was get him even angrier with me.
*FLASH*
"Oh really." He raised a skeptical brow
and snorted. "What do you want my *love*?" Duo spat out the word as if it were
poison.
"Maybe." I said simply and I meant it.
His wide amethyst eyes widened and he
gazed up at me for several long moments. He looked as if he wanted to say
something more but instead he opted for kissing me hungrily, burying those long
slender fingers in my hair.
*FLASH*
"Hey Heero do you know how to do the
meringue?"
I snorted and gave him a look. "Does it
look like I know how to do the meringue?"
Duo smiled at me fondly and ruffled my
hair. "It's okay Heero, I know you're a square."
I mock growled and tackled him to the
ground. "I'll show you square." Then I began tickling him unrelentingly,
enjoying the sound of his tinkling laugh.
*FLASH*
"I already told them." Duo's head
whipped around and he stared at me wide eyed. "I told them what you did to me."
I whispered, the lie scalding my throat.
"I never thought you would do it too
Heero." He whispered.
*FLASH*
Sparkling violet eyes.
*FLASH*
Duo's bloody disfigured
body.
*FLASH*
I screamed as I ran, my mind spinning
like a whirlpool. I don't even know where I was running, but one thing was
certain. I was truly by myself.
Don't you know
I can't tell you how to make it go
No matter
what I do, how hard I try
I can't seem to convince myself why
I'm stuck
on the outside
~Owari~
AN - There will be no sequel to this.
Well I don't think so anyway. Just imagine that Heero went nuts and is living
happily in a mental hospital.
