New Beginnings

New Beginnings

Part 9

Warmth. She was so comfortably warm. It was as if she were wrapped in the fluffy, blue and white quilt from Grandma. Her back ached. Her head throbbed. Her joints screamed in pain. But she was so very warm…and calm…and…familiar.

Buffy opened her eyes. She was in a bed. Her bed. The blinds were closed tight, but she could see by the glow that it was day time. Still? Again?

She lifted up a hand, smiling at its golden color…almost giggling at its warmth and softness. Her hand. Her body. She mentally cheered. Leave it to Willow and Giles to come up with a miracle. She rubbed her hands over her frame, starting with her breasts. Yup, both there. Her body. Her breasts. Her belly and thighs. Never mind the incredible pain radiating from everywhere. That she could handle. That at least was hers. It was her pain.

Buffy then searched a little harder, straining to hear someone besides herself in her head. No one. Nothing answered. All alone here, in her mind, her body, her room, her bed. She smiled a bittersweet grin.

Then the memories came back. The screaming and crying and voices. Her friends. Her family. What had happened? Obviously it worked. After all, here she was. Buffy body with Buffy soul. She could see. She could hear. She could feel. She could think. But what if the spell had some sort of unseen affect on Spike? Oh, dear God.

She sat up quickly, immediately regretting it. The blood plummeted to her feet, leaving her feeling lightheaded and drugged. As her head cleared, she surveyed the room. Next to her on the bed was a large lump with a white/blonde head. Further away, crumpled into the room's only chair was Dawn. She could only assume that the rest of the group was not far.

Buffy tentatively ran her hand over Spike's mussed up hair. He did not stir. She leaned down and whispered in his ear. "Spike." Still no movement. 'Oh, shit.' "Come on, jerk. Don't make me worry about you." She jostled him slightly. Nothing.

"Buffy!" Dawn unfolded, coming to life instantly upon hearing her sister's voice. "You…you're awake!" She looked at the doorway and yelled. "She's awake!!" Her proclamation was followed by five sets of thundering footsteps.

Instead of seeing the smiling face of their twice dead Slayer, they encountered a solemn one. "Is he okay? I mean, he'll wake up, right?"

"W-w-we don't know that yet. We didn't even know if you'd wake up." Tara took the results of the spell personally.

"Yeah. I mean, we've been waiting for you for days," Anya offered.

Giles crossed the room and held her hand. "Whatever happens to Spike, at least we have you back. You can't imagine…"

"What?! After everything that we've been through with him…everything he's done for us, you still see him as…as garbage? What if that were Xander lying there? Or Willow? I'd hate to think you'd say the same thing about them. 'Oh, it doesn't matter what happens to the vampire. At least we have our Slayer back.'"

Xander moved toward her. "He didn't mean it like that. It's just that, well, if we had to choose between you or him…"

"Shut up, Xander!" She held her hand to him. "Just…shut up."

Everyone slowly filed out of the room with Willow staying behind. "Buffy." The redhead walked toward her friend and sat next to her. The mattress swayed a bit, giving Spike the only movement they had seen since before the spell.

Willow took Buffy's hand in hers. "Welcome back." She smiled a sad little smile. Buffy looked up at her face and returned it. "Thanks, Willow. Really. If it weren't for you, we'd all be in Hell right now. You've really grown a lot since we first met."

"Well, so have you. We've come a long way, baby."

"Do you have to recite cigarette ads?"

She giggled. "No."

Buffy quickly looked back at Spike then returned her attention to the blinded window. "We've all changed. I mean, look at Xander. He used to be a screw up. A loveable screw up, but one nonetheless"

"Yeah, and now he's engaged to be married, has a real job and ..."

"Engaged to be what?!"

She giggled again. "Yeah. He and Anya promised each other they would marry if there was still a church left on earth to do it in."

"Wow."

"Yeah, wow."

"And then there's Giles. He's, well, I can't say he's really changed all that much."

"Sure he has, Buff. He used to be stiff shirt guy. He's grown a sense of humor. I think you've been really good for him. He really loves you, you know."

"Yeah, I know. How could he not? I'm the best Slayer…ever!"

The two erupted into full laughter.

Buffy was the first to cease. "Then there's Spike."

"Yeah. Talk about change."

"You know, he's not the tough guy he tries to be."

At this statement, Willow looked at Buffy sideways, with her eyes narrowed. "So, all those times he tried to kill us…that was just his way of trying to fit in?"

"I learned a lot about him in there." She motioned over to the sleeping vampire.

"I take it you have a little soft spot for him now."

"You could say that. Did you know that Angelus never accepted him as a vampire?"

"What do you mean?"

"His own sire hated him from the start. Dru only stayed with him because her 'Daddy' was gone. Darla never even tolerated him. He was an outcast as a human. He was an outcast as a vampire. He's an outcast as a neutered vampire. Kind of like me."

Now Willow had really lost the conversation. "Huh?"

"I don't belong with humans. I get them dead. I don't belong with the Council. They just try to control me."

"Yeah, but you belong with us. We're all kind of a mess of…whatever we are."

"Yeah. I belong with you. So does Spike."

Buffy got off the bed, rocking Spike's body again. "It was easy before to treat him like any other vampire. To treat him like vermin. That's all he was to me. A wolf in sheep's clothing." She paused to reflect. "But now I know better. He's more human than some of us."

Willow couldn't believe what Buffy was saying. "Is that because of the chip? Did it do something else to his brain?"

"No. It didn't."

Willow watched in horror as her best friend circled around the bed, knelt at Spike's side, then gently kissed his forehead. "He's not going to be lonely ever again."

"I-I think I'll go downstairs and…um…go downstairs." She sprinted out the room, shutting the door behind her and then down the stairs.

"Shit. She's probably telling them all that I've gone nuts." Buffy looked down at her position, one hand on Spike's head, the other on his shoulder. "Maybe I have at that."

Buffy leaned in close to his ear. "Hey, shit head. You promised me you wouldn't go anywhere. Well, this doesn't count. Get up so I can kick your ass for making me act like a fruit cake in front of Willow." There was no change in the vampire. "Come on, now. Don't make me tell you…tell you…"

It almost came out. Her defenses were down. She was scared for his life, thrilled that the world was safe, and ecstatic that she had her body back. Emotions were running high. Then it did come out.

"I love you. There! You happy? You made me admit it, now GET UP you bloody wanker!!"

Nothing.

Buffy slowly pushed her aching body up off the floor. Before she could stand up completely, a cold hand grasped her wrist.

"Yes. Now I'm happy."