Today was his birthday. She knew, all he had to do was remind her, and she would wake up. She wouldn't make him sit with her on his birthday without showing some good sign. When his shift ended, he passed right by the Admit desk, where he knew there was a cake waiting for him. Abby tried to stop him, get him to go into the lounge so he could be surprised. But he just shook his head and walked upstairs, clutching the cane he shouldn't have to use.
Abby walked into the lounge and told them Carter wouldn't be coming in.
"Hey guys, what do we do? I mean, we have a cake, and he doesn't want it..." Malik yelled out, causing Abby to look at him angrily.
"He's right. We might as well..." Malucci shrugged.
"Yeah, fine...fine. Save him a piece though, will you?"
"Of course!" Malik grinned and took out the plastic knife they saved to cut all cakes. It was the only knife allowed in the ER for parties, and celebrations no longer had loud music, sometimes there was no music at all. Most were confined to the lounge anyway. There would be no more errors in this ER.
He gripped her hand, as he always did. "Hey Luce...c'mon, it's my birthday. Just open your eyes...squeeze my hand." But he got no response. She'd had a CT the day before, and it was normal, in fact it was perfect. But she just didn't wake up. He sat for an hour and a half, but when the nurse came with his cot, he shook his head.
"Weaver's orders, you know that."
"I don't think I'm going to stay today. Thanks though, Marie."
"Of course, Dr. Carter. We'll check on her, call you if anything..."
"Thanks." He interrupted her, not wanting to let himself have too much hope. He shook his head and left, as Marie rolled the cot back to storage. No one was supposed to stay in the room, really, but the nurses were willing to let him, as long as it was kept semi-secret. They didn't want the other patients' families finding out.
He took the elevator, stepping out and seeing Abby at the admit desk.
"John, what's wrong? Aren't you staying?"
He shook his head, and she came closer, looking at his dull brown eyes.
"Why not?"
"I...she's not going to wake up."
"You mean she..."
"Not yet...but she...it was my birthday...she should have woken up."
"Come to the lounge...you want some cake? Chocolate, it's good for you."
"sure..."
"Happy birthday, Carter." Randi said distractedly, peering over the cover of her magazine.
"Yeah, real happy." He muttered as he followed Abby into the lounge. She opened the fridge and looked for the cake box.
"Um, John, it's not here."
"What?" He instantly thought she might be talking about a knife.
"The piece of cake we saved you. Mark just got on, he might have..."
"Fine, really. It's fine." He let out a deep breath.
"Ok...you want to stick around? I get off in 10 minutes."
"No, I think I'll just...go home."
"Alone on your birthday?"
"Abby, it's not you, it's just...if I'm not up there, I might as well get some sleep."
"Whatever you want. Call me if you need anything."
"Of course." He put his lab coat in his locker and grabbed his cell phone, placing it in his pocket. Walking out, he looked up at the windows of the hospital, looking at the ICU floor, at all the lights off in sleeping patients' rooms. She'd let him down, but he'd be back tomorrow. He always came back.