John stepped into the elevator along with an older couple. They were going to the surgical waiting room. They got off right before he did, distractedly nodding at him as they left. He sighed as the doors closed and he headed up to the ICU. He was no longer in a rush to get there, and hadn't been since his birthday. It'd been a long time, and if Lucy hadn't woken up yet...well, there was no telling if she ever would.
He resumed his usual position by her side, holding her hand. Her skin was still pale, or at least it looked ghostly white, but that was just the bad lighting in the room. He sat for 10 minutes silently, but it was just too quiet.
"Hey Lucy...it's John. I'm back. You should have seen this patient I had today. This girl, she was hit by a car, only 3. Cleo couldn't take it, we're actually waiting to see if she was exposed to HIV. Well, she was exposed, but we don't know if she has it. Anyway, she was such a sweet little girl, I sutured her...and she looked just like you. She would have loved to meet you, she needed someone to talk to...You were great with patients. People used to say that about me, but since...since Paul, I've been kinda...I don't know, just different. Messing up, my mind's never fully on the patient. I can't help but think that it's my fault. You...here. I'm sorry, Lucy. Your mom'll be here tomorrow. She had to work, but it's almost time for her to come here. She calls all the time, asking about you. But she'll get here around 8 in the morning, she can't stand to be away, really. She's sweet, she misses you."
He couldn't keep up the one way conversation. He just held her hand, lightly brushing some hair out of her face. "Wish I knew if you could hear me. Can't you just open your eyes? C'mon Luce." He thought he felt a slight movement of her fingers, but he couldn't be sure.
"Lucy, can you hear me? Lucy, open your eyes. Lucy, squeeze my hand if you can hear me!" He got no response. "I must have imagined it. Guess you don't want to wake up, eh Luce?" She squeezed a little harder this time, and he definitely felt it. "Open up, Luce, come on...just for a second." She didn't open her eyes, but instead he saw the muscles of her face straining, as if she was trying, but couldn't open them.
"OK Luce, I'm going to get a doctor...just rest...but stay awake, Luce, stay awake. Please stay awake." He ran out into the hall and to the desk, past Marie who was bringing his cot. "Get Dr. Williams, quickly! She's making purposeful movements!"
He entered her room again, taking a seat next to her. "Luce, can you open your eyes now? Just a little bit..." She tried, opening her bright eyes just a little bit before she shut them again. "There you go...you're going to be fine, Luce, really. The doctor will be in soon...you're going to be fine. I'm going to tell Kerry, and Elizabeth, and..well, everyone. But I'll tell them not to come see you yet, not until you're ready." He went on like that until Dr. Williams arrived.
"Lucy, can you open your eyes?" He asked, waiting for her to follow his orders. She didn't, however.
"She can't really, only a little. And...I think you have to call her Luce. She didn't respond until I did."
"OK Dr. Carter. Call her mother, and tell Dr. Weaver, I'm going to do some tests."
"Of course." He went back out in the hall and went to the desk, dialing Mrs. Knight's cell phone. "Hey, it's John...no, she's fine. Actually, she's waking up. No, no, it's ok, if there are no earlier flights then there are no earlier flights. It's not your fault. No, don't switch airlines. Just come as soon as you would, really, don't...don't worry, she's going to be fine, and she'll be up when you come. Maybe even doing better than she is now. OK, see you tomorrow. Bye." He walked down to the ER, finding only Randi at the desk.
"Where's Weaver?"
"What do I look like, her babysitter?"
"Where *is* she, Randi?"
"She's not on til 11, how the hell am I supposed to know where she is?"
"Is Greene on?"
"Yes, but he's at dinner. We had a big trauma, so he took a break."
"Is *anyone* around?"
"I don't know, check the board! What could possibly be so important!"
"Lucy's waking up." He said flatly, walking off towards the elevator to find Elizabeth or Romano up in surgery. Randi stared after him, obviously shocked. She picked up the phone and called Kerry's house, but she got the machine, so she paged both Mark and Kerry. Neither of them had expected Lucy would ever wake up. Now all they had to do was check their damn pagers.
"Shirley, is Dr. Romano around?"
"He's in surgery, Dr. Carter."
"And Dr. Benton?"
"Assisting."
"Dr. Corday?"
"Maternity leave."
"Can you page Elizabeth and get Peter?"
"I'll try, Dr. Carter."
"Thanks, I'll be up in the..."
"ICU as always, right Dr. Carter?"
"Yes Shirley." He smiled as she walked towards OR2.
He went back to Lucy's room, sitting by her side as the doctors and nurses checked her vitals, had her open her eyes, move her legs, squeeze their hands...everything. She would only open her eyes for a few seconds before closing them again.
"Luce, is it the light? Is it hurting your eyes?"
She nodded slightly, and then pointed to the ventilator.
"Can you breathe on your own, Luce?" He asked, hoping she said yes. She nodded again and tried harder to fight the vent. Her breaths were a bit weak, not quite enough for them to take the tube out. "Try again, Lucy." Dr. Williams said when she paused. She did, and finally convinced them that she was ready. "Get a mask ready....ok Lucy, on the count of three, take a deep breath and blow out. 1.....2....3." He pulled out the ET tube that they had replaced the trach with sometime after she came into the ICU. It seemed like forever since she'd been stabbed, since he'd seen her lying there.
She coughed, but didn't try to speak. "Just hang in there, Luce..." He smoothed her hair with his hand, and the nurse shut off half of the lights. It was really a double room, and Lucy was supposed to have another bed next to hers, but all that was behind the curtain was the extra cot Marie had rolled in for John. The lights went off over Lucy's bed and the ones on the other side of the room remained on.
"It's not as bright, Lucy, try to open your eyes now." She listened, and slowly opened her eyes, this time opening them long enough to turn her head and see who was holding her hand.
"John." She whispered, even though she wasn't supposed to talk yet.
"Shh...wait before you talk." He smiled at her and kissed her forehead. Leaning back, he bit his lower lip, not sure how she would take it, how the other doctors would take it. But none of that really seemed to matter, as long as she was awake.
"Well Lucy, it's good to have you up...Dr. Carter here's been waiting. I have another patient to check on, but I'll be back in a litle while. Don't let him keep you awake too long, you're still recovering, you need rest."
"I think I rested enough." She said quietly, seeing the sweat on some of the doctors and nuses' foreheads, as well as the shining sun out her window.
"You just don't like to listen, do you?" John joked, still smiling. Dr. Williams and the nurses left, leaving John and Lucy alone.
"What month is it?"
"It's the end of June."
"Four months..." She sighed a little. "I'd say I got enough rest."
He looked at her, not sure how to tell her the truth. "Luce...it's June of 2001." He said gently, hoping she didn't get too upset.
"A year...over a year?" He nodded. "And you still came."
"Of course I did, Luce."
"Did you know...were you sure I'd ever wake up?"
"No, not really. I hoped you would."
"And you came anyway?"
"I didn't want to miss anything. What if you woke up alone, Luce?"
"Thank you, John." She held his hand and smiled.
"Get some rest, Luce. Your mom's coming in tomorrow, and I'm sure everyone will be in to say hi." He let go of her hand, only to have her take it back before she closed her eyes and tried to sleep. "Goodnight, Luce."