The Noise Of Musac
Like the summary says...it's a musical! Lol. Just imagine them singing... *shudder* yes, musac is supposed to be spelled like that. Musac is pronounced: muse ack...put it together.
Read First:
Womannapped
Original Logan
Disclaimer: *sigh* I already told you, Mr. Help The Boat Is Sinking and people that are not me own Dark Angel. Honestly, think about it. If I owned it, why would I be writing this? if I owned Dark Angel, I'd be out on my yacht with friends (who would probably be trying to brainwash Logan and Zack into loving them...) but none of that is the point. I don't own nothing.
Oh, and lyrics (which I do not own either) from the following singers/bands/groups/muscians were used:
Nsync
Britney Spears
Limp Bizkit
Backstreet Boys
Christina Aguilera
Tom Petty
[A stage. Wonderfully expensive, red, velvet curtains are hiding the stage. Max steps out.]
MAX:
Welcome ladies and germs.
[The cliché cough in the silence is heard.]
MAX:
Uh, okay. Anyway, we've got a great musical for you tonight. We were thinking the Sound Of Music, but none of us has seen it, so we wouldn't be able to do anything with it, so we have compiled some of our favorite songs!
[Zack walks out onto the stage with a cheesy smile and looks at the audience, then stands next to Max.]
ZACK:
That's right Max. We've got a great blend of tragedy, comedy, and romance-
AUDIENCE MEMBER:
Give it up! She isn't into you jackass!
[Logan comes out onto the stage, with the same cheesy smile and stands next to Zack and looks at him.]
LOGAN:
Oh yeah!
[Logan begins to breakdance. He does a final split and spin, then looks at Zack.]
LOGAN:
Booyah! You suck, she's mine. You suck, she's mine. It's mah birthday! Go Logan! Go Logan! Go go!
[Logan stops dancing and faces the crowd.]
LOGAN:
We've got a great show for you tonight folks. Stick around.
[They all smile and the lights dim. The curtains are pulled back and the stage is set...Logan's...p..p...place. Why do I keep having problems with that? Anyway, Logan walks out and goes over to his computer and starts to type. The noise of the front door closes and Max enters.]
MAX:
Logan.
[Logan looks at Max, then the lights dim and a spotlight lands on Logan. Everything in the dark is dim, only Logan is moving. he gets up from his chair and looks at the audience.]
LOGAN(singing):
Oh Max, how you play with my heart!
It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you!
But when we are apart, I feel it too!
And no matter what I do, I feel the pain!
With or without you!
Baby I don't understand just why we can't be lovers!
Things are getting out of hand!
Trying too much but baby we can't win!
Let it go; If you want me girl let me know!
I am down on my knees; I can't take it any more!
And no matter what I do I feel the pain!
With or without you!
[The spotlight is lifted, the lights come back on regular and Logan is sitting back in his chair at the computer.]
LOGAN:
Yes Max?
MAX:
Zack wants to do *another* raid on Manticore.
LOGAN:
Oh, what? He wants to get you shot and captured again?
MAX:
He's got the best intentions. He just wants the bitch dead.
LOGAN:
He must want you dead too.
MAX:
I just - I just...I don't know...
[The lights dim again and Logan becomes still. Max steps forward and the spotlight falls on her. She looks out at the audience like Logan did.]
MAX(singing):
I'm just a girl with a crush on you!
Don't care about money!
It doesn't give me half the thrill!
To the thought of you, honey!
But I can't make you love me!
Is it my life or the things I do?!
Can't make you love me!
I'm just a girl with a crush on you!
I have been through changes, yeah!
But I'm still the girl you used to know!
It's made me no different!
Just the thought of being close to you!
It's incomparable!
Should be happy with the life I live!
And the things I do!
Seems like I have it all!
Can't make you, make you love me baby!
It's my life, what can I do?!
Can't make you love me, alright!
I'm just a girl with a crush on you!
[The spotlight disappears and Max takes her place again. The lights go back to normal and motion begins again.]
LOGAN:
Well what do you know Max? I sure as hell would like to know!
MAX:
Logan, please-
LOGAN:
I'm sorry. I've just been so...so...frustrated.
[Uh-oh...the lights dim again. The spotlight goes on Logan, he stands and faces the audience again.]
LOGAN(singing):
It's just one of those days feelin' like a freight train!
First one to complain leaves with a blood stain!
Damn right I'm a maniac!
You better watch your back cuz I'm truckin' up your program!
And if your stuck up you just trucked up!
Next in line to get messed up!
Your best bet is to stay away mothertrucker!
Its just one of those days!
[I had to edit that because of...stuff. Logan takes a deep breath. The spotlight goes away and the lights turn back to normal. Logan goes back to his chair.]
MAX:
It's all right. I've been edgy lately too. So, are you gonna come with us?
LOGAN:
I don't know. Who's gonna be there?
MAX:
Everyone who was there last time. Syl, Krit, Zack...me.
LOGAN:
I...sure. I'll go.
[Max smiles. Whole audience rolls eyes.]
MAX:
Great.
LOGAN:
Max, before we go-
[The background goes dark again. The spotlight goes onto Logan and Max, both.]
MAX(singing):
Time may take us apart, but I will still love you, I promise.
And when the stars, stars are falling!
I'll keep calling!
[Pause for music.]
MAX(singing):
I promise that you'll be my one, my only everything!
I'll never be untrue!
LOGAN(singing):
And I promise that for all your love I will do anything!
MAX(singing):
I will give you the stars!
LOGAN(singing):
I will buy you the moon!
MAX(singing):
Even through the longest of our nights!
LOGAN(singing):
And even through the darkest days!
Our love will find a way!
MAX and LOGAN(singing):
And when the stars are falling!
I'll keep calling!
I will still love you!
And when your dreams are fading!
I'll be waiting!
I will still love you!
MAX(singing):
You were my summer breeze, my winter sun, my
springtime soul (springtime soul), my autumn touch of gold! Yeah!
LOGAN(singing):
And you were my sky, my rain, the earth in which my love goes strong!
MAX and LOGAN(singing):
The smile of my heart and the breath of my soul!
MAX(singing):
Even if we find ourselves apart!
LOGAN(singing):
We will hold our hopes and dreams!
MAX and LOGAN(singing):
Forever in our hearts!
And when the stars are falling!
I'll keep calling!
I will still love you!
And when your dreams are fading!
I'll be waiting!
I will still love you!
LOGAN(singing):
Tell me how you feel!
MAX(singing):
I finally know how love feels!
Tell me if it's real!
LOGAN(singing):
And my heart tells me its real!
MAX(singing):
So real, so real!
MAX and LOGAN(singing):
And when the stars are falling!
I'll keep calling!
I will still love you!
And when your dreams are fading!
I'll be waiting!
I will still love you!
Time may take us apart, that's true!
But I will always be there for you!
You're in my heart, you'll be in my dreams!
No matter how many miles we've seen!
I promise you that I won't forget!
The day we kissed or the day we met!
The sky may fall and the stars may tilt!
But I will still, I will still Love you!
[The spotlight goes and the lighting is normal again. Max and Logan are standing uncomfortably.]
MAX:
You really feel that way?
LOGAN:
Uh...only if you do.
MAX:
Yeah well, ya know...
LOGAN:
Exactly. That was-
MAX:
Spur of the moment?
LOGAN:
I suppose...
STEPHANIE18 and AUDIENCE:
Get to it already! God!
MAX:
So, we're...?
LOGAN:
Um...friends?
MAX:
Sure...sure.
[Extremely awkward pause. A Styrofoam cup is thrown up on stage.]
MAX:
We should...uh...get going then...
LOGAN:
Huh? Oh yeah...yeah...
[The curtain draws and lotsa scrambling and rushing noises are heard. The curtain is pulled back and Max and Logan are standing behind a cardboard cutout Aztec.]
RADIO:
But you smile
And no words they tell me
Quit with this appeal
You speak and there is no other
Voice that I can hear
I spend my days
With you
I spend my nights
Thinkin' about you
Thinkin' about you
You're so fine
On my mind
And I think about you
All the time
Day and night
Feels so right
And for us there is no end in sight
[Max pushes the cardboard 'off' button.]
MAX:
We really don't need the radio on.
LOGAN:
Quite right.
[The curtain is closed again and more rushing noise is heard. A loud bang is heard.]
VOICE FROM BEHIND CURTAIN:
Oh God! I think it's broken!
[A dragging sound is heard, then the curtain opens. A green grass mat has been put down and a few cardboard trees and cardboard rocks are scattered around. A stage hand quickly throws a small potted fern onto the stage. The cardboard Aztec with Max and Logan pulls up. Max and Logan step out from behind it.]
ZACK:
We thought you weren't coming.
[Zack picks up a flat, cardboard laptop from the ground.]
MAX:
We couldn't miss it.
[Zack's face lights up. The background becomes dark and everyone else is motionless. Zack steps forward and looks at the audience as the spotlight hits him.]
ZACK(singing):
I wanna be with you!
It's crazy but it's true!
And everything I do (oh oh)!
I wanna be with you!
I'd like to know your policy!
When it comes to me!
Like to know what's in your mind!
It's not easy to see!
I know now what I feel!
And what to do!
I wanna be with you!
Wish you'd come and set me free!
So that I can see!
All the things I've left behind!
What's missing in me!
I'm looking for a sign!
In the things you do!
I wanna be with you!
[The spotlight disappears. Zack steps back into his spot and the lights turn to normal. Krit scoffs.]
KRIT:
Keep dreamin' man...keep dreamin'.
[Zack just scowls and unfolds his cardboard laptop. He hits a few of the flat keys.]
MAX:
Anyway...how are we doing it?
[Zack looks up from his keyboard.]
ZACK:
We...us? Doing it?
SYL:
Ahhhh! My virgin ears!
[Krit puts his hands over Syl's ears.]
KRIT:
Dude!
ZACK:
Sorry.
LOGAN:
And nasty.
STEPHANIE18:
Look at the story Original Logan and you'll get the nasty joke.
[Krit still has his hands over Syl's ears...and that means... the lights darken. Syl steps forward (leaving Krit's hands frozen in the ear gripped position). The spotlight falls on Syl and she looks out at the audience.]
SYL(singing):
See I haven't danced to a musical tune!
And I haven't noticed the flowers in bloom!
I haven't smiled!
When alone in my room very much!
Then we touched!
I just know!
When you put your hands on me!
I feel sexy!
And my body turns to gold!
I just know!
When you put your hands on me!
I feel ready!
And I lose my self-control!
[Syl steps back, the spotlight disappears, and the light returns to normal.]
ZACK:
The plan is simple. Max and I will go off together-
KRIT(sarcastically):
Pffffft. That doesn't sound at all like you just want to get her alone. Not at all.
[Zack grabs Krit's throat.]
SYL:
Zack, you've been different lately.
[Zack lets go of Krit's throat and goes back to his cardboard laptop.]
ZACK:
Anyway, Logan, you stay here in the woods with the laptop-
[A cardboard rock falls over.]
ZACK:
Syl and Krit go in the other direction as back up for me and Maxie.
LOGAN:
The proper usage would be Maxie and I [Gets a quieter voice] jackass.
ZACK:
Hmmmmm?
LOGAN:
Jackass! I said jackass.
ZACK:
Oh...okay.
[Lydecker floats down on very visible wires. He's wearing an angel costume. The only giveaway is that he's holding a bottle of Scotch.]
LYDECKER:
Kids!
KRIT:
Uh...
ZACK:
You're not dead.
[Lydecker looks surprised. He shrugs then takes out a knife. He cuts the wires and falls and smacks down onto the stage. He stands up and shakes his head.]
LYDECKER:
Where's my Scotch?
[He begins to look around for it, but can't find it.]
ZACK:
Okay. You can help. Hey! Hey!
[Zack snaps his fingers and Lydecker looks at him.]
ZACK:
You can help...just get out of that ridiculous outfit.
[Lydecker rips off the angel costume. He is now wearing a yellow bikini, top and all.]
MAX:
Oh God!
ZACK:
Ugh...
LOGAN:
There happens to be some of your clothes still in the back of the Aztec from the last raid.
LYDECKER:
Well that's lucky!
[Lydecker goes to the Aztec and changes. Everyone in the audience screams and shields their eyes. When they open them, they see that Lydecker is holding his Scotch bottle and the spotlight has come on. The background darkens and Lydecker steps onto the middle of the stage. Then he begins to sing to his bottle of Scotch.]
LYDECKER(singing):
When I'm down!
You're there!
Pushing me to the top!
Your always there giving me all you got!
For a shield from the storm!
For a friend!
For the love to keep me safe and warm!
I turn to you!
For the strength to be strong!
For the will to carry on!
For everything you do!
For everything that's true!
I turn to you!
When I lose!
The will to win!
I just reach for you!
[Lydecker drinks the last bit, then throws the bottle, which hits Krit in the head.]
KRIT:
Ow!
LYDECKER:
Shhhhh! You're not supposed to do nothing!
[The lights all go back to normal and the spotlight fades. Lydecker rejoins the group.]
KRIT:
I get no respect! No respect!
[*sigh* The usual singing procedure. Lights dimming, spotlight, blah blah woof woof.]
KRIT(singing):
This one's for me, this one's for me!
Not for anyone else, I need it you see!
I threw all I had into the sea!
Now I want a little back, this one's for me!
And you don't even know what you got!
'Til it's walking away!
Yeah, you don't even know what you had!
'Til it laughs in your face!
Some other time, some other day!
We'll sing this again some other way!
So much has gone by, don't know where to start!
Well this one I'll keep here in my heart!
This one's for me, this one's for me!
Not for anyone else, I need it you see!
I threw all I had into the sea!
Now I want a little back, this one's for me!
STEPHANIE18:
Krit must be frustrated. He needed a whole song just for him...
[The scene goes back to normal.]
ZACK:
We're as ready as we'll ever be! Lets go soldiers!
[Zack, Lydecker, Syl, and Krit walk off stage. As Max is going, Logan grabs her arm.]
SOMEONE FROM AUDIENCE:
No he didn't!
LOGAN:
Max, I know my job is to stay here with the laptop, but-
MAX:
I know.
[Max and Logan grow closer...spotlight...dear God save us...]
LOGAN and MAX(singing):
I will still love you!
Time may take us apart, that's true!
But I will always be there for you!
You're in my heart, you'll be in my dreams!
No matter how many miles we've seen!
I promise you that I won't forget!
The day we kissed or the day we met!
The sky may fall and the stars may tilt!
But I will still, I will still Love you!
[They break apart (the singing is over) the spotlight goes away and the normal lighting and blah blah. Max gives a last, lingering look and dashes offstage. Logan unfolds the cardboard laptop and sits on the fake grass. The curtain closes and scurrying is heard. When it opens again, we see Max, Zack, Krit, Syl, and Lydecker in front of a giant white piece of cardboard that has a door cut out. Above the door is written Manicore, but that is scratched out and Manticore is written under it.]
ZACK:
Ready?
MAX:
Yeah.
[Krit and Syl stand on opposite sides of the cut out door. They put on black sunglasses and cross their arms in front of them. They nod at the same time and Max and Zack go in.]
KRIT:
So, did you see X-Files last night?
[We begin to hear badly dubbed pummeling noises from behind the cutout.]
SYL:
No, I stopped watching after Mulder left. He was the only one who believed.
[More badly dubbed pummeling noise.]
KRIT:
I know what you mean. I got bored halfway through and switched to MTV. Britney Spears is hot.
[More badly dubbed pummeling noise. Syl looks hurt. Krit looks her up and down.]
KRIT:
You look like Britney. Ya know, The word of the day is legs, let's go back to my place and spread the word.
[Syl rolls her eyes. Max rolls past the cut out door. Zack stands in the cut out doorway and lights firework. He drops it on the ground and stuffs his fingers in his ears. The fuse goes down, but no explosion.]
ZACK:
Damn!
[Zack kicks the cardboard Manticore and it falls over. We see a man, who is wearing headphones, sitting next to a sound board pushing buttons.]
MAX:
Uh...we destroyed Manticore!
EVERYONE:
Yippee!
[They leave and after they left the stage Madam X (Renfro, whatever) comes onstage and shakes her fist angrily.]
RENFRO:
We would've gotten away with it to if it weren't for you meddling kids!
[The curtain closes. More scurrying, busy noise. The curtain is opened again and they're back in the woods with Logan. The cardboard rock that fell before is now back upright.]
MAX:
We did it!
LOGAN:
Ohhhh yay!
[Max and Logan hug.]
LOGAN:
Is it hot here or is it just you?
AUDIENCE:
Oh God!
STEPHANIE18:
If you weren't destined to be together, I swear to God...
ZACK:
Good fighting Maxie.
MAX:
Yeah, whatever.
[Max and Logan were still hugging and now were looking into each other's eyes....dear Jesus, who's writing this crap?]
KRIT:
Syl and I are going to leave.
[Zack sits on a cardboard rock, but it topples over and he lands on his...rump.]
ZACK:
Okay, bye.
[Syl and Krit leave, holding hands. Aw, how freaking sweet.]
MAX:
Logan and I are leaving. Too bad about Lydecker being eaten by that bear...
ZACK:
Yeah...
LOGAN:
Well, bye!
[Zack grumbles something about injustice in script writing, then leaves the stage. Max and Logan walk around the Aztec and get in. The lights darken and the curtain closes. After a few minutes, we see seven dark figures all in a line. The lights brighten and we see standing, in this order: Krit, Syl, Logan, Max, Lydecker, Zack, and Renfro. Logan is waving to the crowd, with his other arm around Max (aww how disgustingly sweet) and everyone else is just smiling. Everyone links hands and takes a huge bow. A stage hand with headphones and a clipboard shoos everyone but Max and Logan off the stage.]
ZACK:
How do you figure they're the main characters? We were all in it!
[On stage: Logan and Max take a bow. The lights dim and they disappear off stage. The audience gets up from their seats chattering.]
MAN:
God damn. I can't believe I sat through that piece of crap.
TEENAGE GIRL #1:
Oh my God! I am so glad they got together. I hope Zack dies.
ZACK:
Hey!
TEENAGE GIRL #2:
Yeah, me too. I'm glad they finally got together. Or did they? We never really officially found out. Anyway, did you see Logan sing? It was so cute.
TEENAGE GIRL #3:
Yeah...did you see Logan's ass? That's fiiiiiiine.
STEPHANIE18:
Well, there you have it. The Noise of Musac! I wanted to include Original Cindy, but she couldn't get out of Canada...Max is gonna be pissed next time, I can tell you that! This is a fun series. Hee hee. Well, until next time!
THE END
Like the summary says...it's a musical! Lol. Just imagine them singing... *shudder* yes, musac is supposed to be spelled like that. Musac is pronounced: muse ack...put it together.
Read First:
Womannapped
Original Logan
Disclaimer: *sigh* I already told you, Mr. Help The Boat Is Sinking and people that are not me own Dark Angel. Honestly, think about it. If I owned it, why would I be writing this? if I owned Dark Angel, I'd be out on my yacht with friends (who would probably be trying to brainwash Logan and Zack into loving them...) but none of that is the point. I don't own nothing.
Oh, and lyrics (which I do not own either) from the following singers/bands/groups/muscians were used:
Nsync
Britney Spears
Limp Bizkit
Backstreet Boys
Christina Aguilera
Tom Petty
[A stage. Wonderfully expensive, red, velvet curtains are hiding the stage. Max steps out.]
MAX:
Welcome ladies and germs.
[The cliché cough in the silence is heard.]
MAX:
Uh, okay. Anyway, we've got a great musical for you tonight. We were thinking the Sound Of Music, but none of us has seen it, so we wouldn't be able to do anything with it, so we have compiled some of our favorite songs!
[Zack walks out onto the stage with a cheesy smile and looks at the audience, then stands next to Max.]
ZACK:
That's right Max. We've got a great blend of tragedy, comedy, and romance-
AUDIENCE MEMBER:
Give it up! She isn't into you jackass!
[Logan comes out onto the stage, with the same cheesy smile and stands next to Zack and looks at him.]
LOGAN:
Oh yeah!
[Logan begins to breakdance. He does a final split and spin, then looks at Zack.]
LOGAN:
Booyah! You suck, she's mine. You suck, she's mine. It's mah birthday! Go Logan! Go Logan! Go go!
[Logan stops dancing and faces the crowd.]
LOGAN:
We've got a great show for you tonight folks. Stick around.
[They all smile and the lights dim. The curtains are pulled back and the stage is set...Logan's...p..p...place. Why do I keep having problems with that? Anyway, Logan walks out and goes over to his computer and starts to type. The noise of the front door closes and Max enters.]
MAX:
Logan.
[Logan looks at Max, then the lights dim and a spotlight lands on Logan. Everything in the dark is dim, only Logan is moving. he gets up from his chair and looks at the audience.]
LOGAN(singing):
Oh Max, how you play with my heart!
It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you!
But when we are apart, I feel it too!
And no matter what I do, I feel the pain!
With or without you!
Baby I don't understand just why we can't be lovers!
Things are getting out of hand!
Trying too much but baby we can't win!
Let it go; If you want me girl let me know!
I am down on my knees; I can't take it any more!
And no matter what I do I feel the pain!
With or without you!
[The spotlight is lifted, the lights come back on regular and Logan is sitting back in his chair at the computer.]
LOGAN:
Yes Max?
MAX:
Zack wants to do *another* raid on Manticore.
LOGAN:
Oh, what? He wants to get you shot and captured again?
MAX:
He's got the best intentions. He just wants the bitch dead.
LOGAN:
He must want you dead too.
MAX:
I just - I just...I don't know...
[The lights dim again and Logan becomes still. Max steps forward and the spotlight falls on her. She looks out at the audience like Logan did.]
MAX(singing):
I'm just a girl with a crush on you!
Don't care about money!
It doesn't give me half the thrill!
To the thought of you, honey!
But I can't make you love me!
Is it my life or the things I do?!
Can't make you love me!
I'm just a girl with a crush on you!
I have been through changes, yeah!
But I'm still the girl you used to know!
It's made me no different!
Just the thought of being close to you!
It's incomparable!
Should be happy with the life I live!
And the things I do!
Seems like I have it all!
Can't make you, make you love me baby!
It's my life, what can I do?!
Can't make you love me, alright!
I'm just a girl with a crush on you!
[The spotlight disappears and Max takes her place again. The lights go back to normal and motion begins again.]
LOGAN:
Well what do you know Max? I sure as hell would like to know!
MAX:
Logan, please-
LOGAN:
I'm sorry. I've just been so...so...frustrated.
[Uh-oh...the lights dim again. The spotlight goes on Logan, he stands and faces the audience again.]
LOGAN(singing):
It's just one of those days feelin' like a freight train!
First one to complain leaves with a blood stain!
Damn right I'm a maniac!
You better watch your back cuz I'm truckin' up your program!
And if your stuck up you just trucked up!
Next in line to get messed up!
Your best bet is to stay away mothertrucker!
Its just one of those days!
[I had to edit that because of...stuff. Logan takes a deep breath. The spotlight goes away and the lights turn back to normal. Logan goes back to his chair.]
MAX:
It's all right. I've been edgy lately too. So, are you gonna come with us?
LOGAN:
I don't know. Who's gonna be there?
MAX:
Everyone who was there last time. Syl, Krit, Zack...me.
LOGAN:
I...sure. I'll go.
[Max smiles. Whole audience rolls eyes.]
MAX:
Great.
LOGAN:
Max, before we go-
[The background goes dark again. The spotlight goes onto Logan and Max, both.]
MAX(singing):
Time may take us apart, but I will still love you, I promise.
And when the stars, stars are falling!
I'll keep calling!
[Pause for music.]
MAX(singing):
I promise that you'll be my one, my only everything!
I'll never be untrue!
LOGAN(singing):
And I promise that for all your love I will do anything!
MAX(singing):
I will give you the stars!
LOGAN(singing):
I will buy you the moon!
MAX(singing):
Even through the longest of our nights!
LOGAN(singing):
And even through the darkest days!
Our love will find a way!
MAX and LOGAN(singing):
And when the stars are falling!
I'll keep calling!
I will still love you!
And when your dreams are fading!
I'll be waiting!
I will still love you!
MAX(singing):
You were my summer breeze, my winter sun, my
springtime soul (springtime soul), my autumn touch of gold! Yeah!
LOGAN(singing):
And you were my sky, my rain, the earth in which my love goes strong!
MAX and LOGAN(singing):
The smile of my heart and the breath of my soul!
MAX(singing):
Even if we find ourselves apart!
LOGAN(singing):
We will hold our hopes and dreams!
MAX and LOGAN(singing):
Forever in our hearts!
And when the stars are falling!
I'll keep calling!
I will still love you!
And when your dreams are fading!
I'll be waiting!
I will still love you!
LOGAN(singing):
Tell me how you feel!
MAX(singing):
I finally know how love feels!
Tell me if it's real!
LOGAN(singing):
And my heart tells me its real!
MAX(singing):
So real, so real!
MAX and LOGAN(singing):
And when the stars are falling!
I'll keep calling!
I will still love you!
And when your dreams are fading!
I'll be waiting!
I will still love you!
Time may take us apart, that's true!
But I will always be there for you!
You're in my heart, you'll be in my dreams!
No matter how many miles we've seen!
I promise you that I won't forget!
The day we kissed or the day we met!
The sky may fall and the stars may tilt!
But I will still, I will still Love you!
[The spotlight goes and the lighting is normal again. Max and Logan are standing uncomfortably.]
MAX:
You really feel that way?
LOGAN:
Uh...only if you do.
MAX:
Yeah well, ya know...
LOGAN:
Exactly. That was-
MAX:
Spur of the moment?
LOGAN:
I suppose...
STEPHANIE18 and AUDIENCE:
Get to it already! God!
MAX:
So, we're...?
LOGAN:
Um...friends?
MAX:
Sure...sure.
[Extremely awkward pause. A Styrofoam cup is thrown up on stage.]
MAX:
We should...uh...get going then...
LOGAN:
Huh? Oh yeah...yeah...
[The curtain draws and lotsa scrambling and rushing noises are heard. The curtain is pulled back and Max and Logan are standing behind a cardboard cutout Aztec.]
RADIO:
But you smile
And no words they tell me
Quit with this appeal
You speak and there is no other
Voice that I can hear
I spend my days
With you
I spend my nights
Thinkin' about you
Thinkin' about you
You're so fine
On my mind
And I think about you
All the time
Day and night
Feels so right
And for us there is no end in sight
[Max pushes the cardboard 'off' button.]
MAX:
We really don't need the radio on.
LOGAN:
Quite right.
[The curtain is closed again and more rushing noise is heard. A loud bang is heard.]
VOICE FROM BEHIND CURTAIN:
Oh God! I think it's broken!
[A dragging sound is heard, then the curtain opens. A green grass mat has been put down and a few cardboard trees and cardboard rocks are scattered around. A stage hand quickly throws a small potted fern onto the stage. The cardboard Aztec with Max and Logan pulls up. Max and Logan step out from behind it.]
ZACK:
We thought you weren't coming.
[Zack picks up a flat, cardboard laptop from the ground.]
MAX:
We couldn't miss it.
[Zack's face lights up. The background becomes dark and everyone else is motionless. Zack steps forward and looks at the audience as the spotlight hits him.]
ZACK(singing):
I wanna be with you!
It's crazy but it's true!
And everything I do (oh oh)!
I wanna be with you!
I'd like to know your policy!
When it comes to me!
Like to know what's in your mind!
It's not easy to see!
I know now what I feel!
And what to do!
I wanna be with you!
Wish you'd come and set me free!
So that I can see!
All the things I've left behind!
What's missing in me!
I'm looking for a sign!
In the things you do!
I wanna be with you!
[The spotlight disappears. Zack steps back into his spot and the lights turn to normal. Krit scoffs.]
KRIT:
Keep dreamin' man...keep dreamin'.
[Zack just scowls and unfolds his cardboard laptop. He hits a few of the flat keys.]
MAX:
Anyway...how are we doing it?
[Zack looks up from his keyboard.]
ZACK:
We...us? Doing it?
SYL:
Ahhhh! My virgin ears!
[Krit puts his hands over Syl's ears.]
KRIT:
Dude!
ZACK:
Sorry.
LOGAN:
And nasty.
STEPHANIE18:
Look at the story Original Logan and you'll get the nasty joke.
[Krit still has his hands over Syl's ears...and that means... the lights darken. Syl steps forward (leaving Krit's hands frozen in the ear gripped position). The spotlight falls on Syl and she looks out at the audience.]
SYL(singing):
See I haven't danced to a musical tune!
And I haven't noticed the flowers in bloom!
I haven't smiled!
When alone in my room very much!
Then we touched!
I just know!
When you put your hands on me!
I feel sexy!
And my body turns to gold!
I just know!
When you put your hands on me!
I feel ready!
And I lose my self-control!
[Syl steps back, the spotlight disappears, and the light returns to normal.]
ZACK:
The plan is simple. Max and I will go off together-
KRIT(sarcastically):
Pffffft. That doesn't sound at all like you just want to get her alone. Not at all.
[Zack grabs Krit's throat.]
SYL:
Zack, you've been different lately.
[Zack lets go of Krit's throat and goes back to his cardboard laptop.]
ZACK:
Anyway, Logan, you stay here in the woods with the laptop-
[A cardboard rock falls over.]
ZACK:
Syl and Krit go in the other direction as back up for me and Maxie.
LOGAN:
The proper usage would be Maxie and I [Gets a quieter voice] jackass.
ZACK:
Hmmmmm?
LOGAN:
Jackass! I said jackass.
ZACK:
Oh...okay.
[Lydecker floats down on very visible wires. He's wearing an angel costume. The only giveaway is that he's holding a bottle of Scotch.]
LYDECKER:
Kids!
KRIT:
Uh...
ZACK:
You're not dead.
[Lydecker looks surprised. He shrugs then takes out a knife. He cuts the wires and falls and smacks down onto the stage. He stands up and shakes his head.]
LYDECKER:
Where's my Scotch?
[He begins to look around for it, but can't find it.]
ZACK:
Okay. You can help. Hey! Hey!
[Zack snaps his fingers and Lydecker looks at him.]
ZACK:
You can help...just get out of that ridiculous outfit.
[Lydecker rips off the angel costume. He is now wearing a yellow bikini, top and all.]
MAX:
Oh God!
ZACK:
Ugh...
LOGAN:
There happens to be some of your clothes still in the back of the Aztec from the last raid.
LYDECKER:
Well that's lucky!
[Lydecker goes to the Aztec and changes. Everyone in the audience screams and shields their eyes. When they open them, they see that Lydecker is holding his Scotch bottle and the spotlight has come on. The background darkens and Lydecker steps onto the middle of the stage. Then he begins to sing to his bottle of Scotch.]
LYDECKER(singing):
When I'm down!
You're there!
Pushing me to the top!
Your always there giving me all you got!
For a shield from the storm!
For a friend!
For the love to keep me safe and warm!
I turn to you!
For the strength to be strong!
For the will to carry on!
For everything you do!
For everything that's true!
I turn to you!
When I lose!
The will to win!
I just reach for you!
[Lydecker drinks the last bit, then throws the bottle, which hits Krit in the head.]
KRIT:
Ow!
LYDECKER:
Shhhhh! You're not supposed to do nothing!
[The lights all go back to normal and the spotlight fades. Lydecker rejoins the group.]
KRIT:
I get no respect! No respect!
[*sigh* The usual singing procedure. Lights dimming, spotlight, blah blah woof woof.]
KRIT(singing):
This one's for me, this one's for me!
Not for anyone else, I need it you see!
I threw all I had into the sea!
Now I want a little back, this one's for me!
And you don't even know what you got!
'Til it's walking away!
Yeah, you don't even know what you had!
'Til it laughs in your face!
Some other time, some other day!
We'll sing this again some other way!
So much has gone by, don't know where to start!
Well this one I'll keep here in my heart!
This one's for me, this one's for me!
Not for anyone else, I need it you see!
I threw all I had into the sea!
Now I want a little back, this one's for me!
STEPHANIE18:
Krit must be frustrated. He needed a whole song just for him...
[The scene goes back to normal.]
ZACK:
We're as ready as we'll ever be! Lets go soldiers!
[Zack, Lydecker, Syl, and Krit walk off stage. As Max is going, Logan grabs her arm.]
SOMEONE FROM AUDIENCE:
No he didn't!
LOGAN:
Max, I know my job is to stay here with the laptop, but-
MAX:
I know.
[Max and Logan grow closer...spotlight...dear God save us...]
LOGAN and MAX(singing):
I will still love you!
Time may take us apart, that's true!
But I will always be there for you!
You're in my heart, you'll be in my dreams!
No matter how many miles we've seen!
I promise you that I won't forget!
The day we kissed or the day we met!
The sky may fall and the stars may tilt!
But I will still, I will still Love you!
[They break apart (the singing is over) the spotlight goes away and the normal lighting and blah blah. Max gives a last, lingering look and dashes offstage. Logan unfolds the cardboard laptop and sits on the fake grass. The curtain closes and scurrying is heard. When it opens again, we see Max, Zack, Krit, Syl, and Lydecker in front of a giant white piece of cardboard that has a door cut out. Above the door is written Manicore, but that is scratched out and Manticore is written under it.]
ZACK:
Ready?
MAX:
Yeah.
[Krit and Syl stand on opposite sides of the cut out door. They put on black sunglasses and cross their arms in front of them. They nod at the same time and Max and Zack go in.]
KRIT:
So, did you see X-Files last night?
[We begin to hear badly dubbed pummeling noises from behind the cutout.]
SYL:
No, I stopped watching after Mulder left. He was the only one who believed.
[More badly dubbed pummeling noise.]
KRIT:
I know what you mean. I got bored halfway through and switched to MTV. Britney Spears is hot.
[More badly dubbed pummeling noise. Syl looks hurt. Krit looks her up and down.]
KRIT:
You look like Britney. Ya know, The word of the day is legs, let's go back to my place and spread the word.
[Syl rolls her eyes. Max rolls past the cut out door. Zack stands in the cut out doorway and lights firework. He drops it on the ground and stuffs his fingers in his ears. The fuse goes down, but no explosion.]
ZACK:
Damn!
[Zack kicks the cardboard Manticore and it falls over. We see a man, who is wearing headphones, sitting next to a sound board pushing buttons.]
MAX:
Uh...we destroyed Manticore!
EVERYONE:
Yippee!
[They leave and after they left the stage Madam X (Renfro, whatever) comes onstage and shakes her fist angrily.]
RENFRO:
We would've gotten away with it to if it weren't for you meddling kids!
[The curtain closes. More scurrying, busy noise. The curtain is opened again and they're back in the woods with Logan. The cardboard rock that fell before is now back upright.]
MAX:
We did it!
LOGAN:
Ohhhh yay!
[Max and Logan hug.]
LOGAN:
Is it hot here or is it just you?
AUDIENCE:
Oh God!
STEPHANIE18:
If you weren't destined to be together, I swear to God...
ZACK:
Good fighting Maxie.
MAX:
Yeah, whatever.
[Max and Logan were still hugging and now were looking into each other's eyes....dear Jesus, who's writing this crap?]
KRIT:
Syl and I are going to leave.
[Zack sits on a cardboard rock, but it topples over and he lands on his...rump.]
ZACK:
Okay, bye.
[Syl and Krit leave, holding hands. Aw, how freaking sweet.]
MAX:
Logan and I are leaving. Too bad about Lydecker being eaten by that bear...
ZACK:
Yeah...
LOGAN:
Well, bye!
[Zack grumbles something about injustice in script writing, then leaves the stage. Max and Logan walk around the Aztec and get in. The lights darken and the curtain closes. After a few minutes, we see seven dark figures all in a line. The lights brighten and we see standing, in this order: Krit, Syl, Logan, Max, Lydecker, Zack, and Renfro. Logan is waving to the crowd, with his other arm around Max (aww how disgustingly sweet) and everyone else is just smiling. Everyone links hands and takes a huge bow. A stage hand with headphones and a clipboard shoos everyone but Max and Logan off the stage.]
ZACK:
How do you figure they're the main characters? We were all in it!
[On stage: Logan and Max take a bow. The lights dim and they disappear off stage. The audience gets up from their seats chattering.]
MAN:
God damn. I can't believe I sat through that piece of crap.
TEENAGE GIRL #1:
Oh my God! I am so glad they got together. I hope Zack dies.
ZACK:
Hey!
TEENAGE GIRL #2:
Yeah, me too. I'm glad they finally got together. Or did they? We never really officially found out. Anyway, did you see Logan sing? It was so cute.
TEENAGE GIRL #3:
Yeah...did you see Logan's ass? That's fiiiiiiine.
STEPHANIE18:
Well, there you have it. The Noise of Musac! I wanted to include Original Cindy, but she couldn't get out of Canada...Max is gonna be pissed next time, I can tell you that! This is a fun series. Hee hee. Well, until next time!
THE END