Featuring Fei, Elly.....and a re-enactment of MTV's The Blame Game
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Fei: Elly, we're back to a PG-13!
Elly: Yeah, so?
Fei: Well, remember when you said that maybe we could head to the grove of trees
when the author decided to change the rating to PG-13?
Elly: Uh, I guess.
Fei: Can I take you up on that now?
Elly: Maybe later. I don't really feel like it right now.
Fei: WHAT? You're the one who's wanted it the entire time! Now I'm offering you and you refuse me?
Elly: Well, you consented.
Fei: I expect you to consent right now since I did!
Elly: That's sexual harassment!
Fei: Not between husband and wife!
Elly: uh Fei? We're not married!
Fei: Still, you don't even know what I want to do in the trees!
Elly: Of course I do! You wanna do it! And I don't!
Fei: So?
Elly: You're such a &%^!
Fei: Well, you're a ^%*&^@#%*&!!!!!
Elly: @%^%*!!!!!
Fei: @%^#@%!!!!!!!!
Elly: %*&@%!!!!!
Fei: @#^@&#$&$!!!!!!!
Elly and Fei: @#%*&^@*&%*@&#&*&@#%*&@#&(*%&#(%^@*%&*!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cloud: Uh, are they fighting?
Tifa: Cloud, you are sooooooo dense! Of course they're fighting!
Ash: Should we be doing anything about it?
Margie: Do something! My ears are killing me!
Ash: OK..... Pikachu, come over here!
Pikachu: Pika? (what?)
Ash: Thundershock them!
Pikachu: PIKACHU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *uses thundershock*
Fei and Elly: *burned into smithereens*
Fei: Uh, was that necessary?
Elly: Ouch!
Cid: Finally, those &%%^@ stopped disturbing my sleep *starts snoring*
Ash: Pikachu, wake Cid up....
Pikachu: PIKACHU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *uses thunderbolt*
Cid: Ugh, I think I'll stay awake.
Elly: can we go back to arguing now, or what?
Aeris: No! Why can't all people be like the ancients? Human mentality is so wrong, I
think that I should sign you up for-
Barret: Oh no, not again Aeris! STOP!
Maria: This argument is making everyone bitter. How about we figure out some way to make Fei and Elly happy and get this argument all settled?
Margie: Yeah, it's so bad that Emeralda disappeared.
Misty: I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone: What?
Misty: We need to reenact MTV's The Blame Game! Then we can figure out who was to blame for this argument and then they we can all be happy!
Barret: The @#%# Blame Game? Do you think all of us actually watch it?
Tifa: Admit it Barret, you stop our Avalanche meetings every day to watch it.
Barret: All right, I guess I do.....
Aeris: Cid was watching it when I came for him to take me to the party!
Cid: Ugh, you really didn't have to tell them that......
Fei: Will this solve my argument with Elly?
Cloud: Actually, it will just tell you who was to blame.
Elly: Just as good. Let's start!
Ash: OK everyone, we need to get ready. Author, could you give us 15 minutes to prepare?
Mystery Author: Sure. This fanfic has been suspended for 15 minutes!
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15 Minutes Later
The main cabin room has now been changed completely into a set like the blame game. The Judge is in the middle, there are thrones for Fei and Elly, a witness room, an audience section, and a hidden camera.
Ash: Wow, I can't believe I got picked to be camera man!
Maria: Only because we wanted to get rid of you in the audience so I could hold Pikachu! *Massages Pikachu's cheeks*
Ash: Grrrrrr.............PIKACHU!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cloud: Could we just @#%^& start the show?
Ash: OK.........................5, 4, 3, 2, 1- ACTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Barret: Hi everyone, and welcome to the &@*%^@*% Blame Game Show! I'm Barret, the Judge and announcer. Today, we are going to determine who is to blame in the (very) recent breakup of Elly and Fei. They are currently standing backstage and are-
Misty: *whispering* Barret, get on with it!
Barret: Today's case is the Multi-Personalitied Id vs. The Rod Whacking Traitor! First out, here is FEI FONG WONG!!!!!!!!
*Fei comes running out*
The guys: GO FEI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOOT HOOT!!!!!!!!!! *Fei waves at him adoring fans and sits down in his throne*
Barret: Secondly, we have ELLY VAN HOUTEN!!!!!!!!!! *Elly runs out*
The gals: GO ELLY!!!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!! *Elly grins hearing the cheers and then sits down*
Barret: Now, we have our contestants counselors! Introducing Fei's counselor, Bart, and Elly's counselor, Margie! *Walk out and stand by their 'clients'* We will now begin with the each counselor to have their client give them their side of this relationship. The clocks have been set to 90 seconds. Bart, you may begin.
Bart: All right. Fei, can you describe how you met Elly and what happened in your meeting?
Fei: Well, I was walking through a forest, my hometown having vanished, and I ran into Elly. And she HELD A &^%&*%@ GUN UP AT ME!!!!!!!! And then, she leads me into the forest, right into a dinosaur and faints without helping me fight! I'm lucky I didn't die! Then she leaves me in the middle of the night!
Bart: *sarcastically* Nice meeting! That doesn't sound like a nice young woman! *hits gong*
Margie: After you left, you didn't see Fei for awhile. But when you finally did see them again, what happened?
Elly: Well, I worked for Solaris, a rival town to his. That's why I was afraid to be associated with him early on. But when he got stuck in a Solaris base, I rescued them and put myself in danger! And he doesn't even say thank you!
Margie: How rude! *hits gong*
Bart: One time, you were going through a gear dungeon and you ran into Elly yet again. Could you tell us the sequence of events there?
Fei: After beating some Solaris guards, I ran into Elly, who was in her gear. I was shocked to see her and didn't want to fight her. And you know what she does? She takes a drug called 'Drive' that makes her more tempramental and willing to fight, and she forces us into fighting!
Bart: I don't think this girl cares about you at all! *hits gong*
Margie: That may have happened, but tell us what happened later on.in the game.
Elly: Well, I realized I was unhappy in Solaris and should stay with Fei. When I found him trying to save a guy named Rico, I turned on my own side! I almost died helping them with a ship! Then, I rejoined him!
Margie: Elly obviously cared a lot about Fei! *hits gong*
Barret: OK, your time is now up! Next on THE BLAME GAME, we have the characters admit dirty little secrets. Whoever admits the most times can present a key witness hiding behind the door! *Fei and Elly get up and walk to another section of the room*
Guys: GO FEI!!!!!!!!!!
Girls: GO ELLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Barret: OK, Elly, you may start!
Elly: Fei, you are crazy. Tell us what's in your double personalities file!
Fei: OK, I admit it! I have two different personalities. One is Fei, the person you see right here. The other is an evil person known as Id. Id emerges when I'm angry. I have an emotion control device to prevent this.
Barret: Correct!
Fei: Elly, you're such a tease. Tell us what's in your indecent exposer in video game endings file.
Elly: I'll admit it. I was the one that encouraged Fei and I to do it in the ending of Xenogears!
Barret: Right on!
Elly: Fei, you are so dense. Tell us what's in your non-understanding file.
Fei: Admit it. In the Babel Tower the first time, I couldn't figure out that the reason Ramsus and Miang knew where we were was because of a spy!
Barret: Absolutely!
Fei: Elly, you can't make up your mind. Tell us what's in your Indecisions file.
Elly: All right. In the game, I kept changing sides from Solaris....to Fei....to Solaris....back to Fei!
Barret: Right on! Since you each had two admits, you will both be allowed to present your witnesses. First, we have Fei's witness, Billy Lee Black!
Cid: *to Aeris* I thought he left...
Aeris: *to Cid* Well, at least we're suprised.
Billy: Elly is dangerous! You never know what she's going to do! Every time she seems like she's on your side she decides to join the enemy! One time we were figuring out about the Etones and she did nothing but sit around! Does that sound like someone who cares?
Barret: Elly's witness is Emeralda!
Emeralda: Fei is uncontainable! One time, Elly was trying to offer him rations of her
food, and he eats fish and gets sick! Another time, she was caring for him and he turns into Id!!!!! What's with that?
Barret: Now, we will have the cross-examinations. Fei and Elly, rejoin your counselors! *Fei and Elly go back up to their thrones with a different counselor facing them* Margie, you may begin.
Margie: One time, when everyone thought you were injured, what did you do?
Fei: Well, I turned into Id and attempted to destroy everyone.....
Margie: Ha! Does that sound like someone that can be trusted?
Bart: Elly, one time in the floating city of Thames, what did you do to the ship?
Elly: I programmed it so it would explode- but I was hypnotized!
Bart: Suuuuuuuuuuure- you were actually a traitor!
Cowd: THIS IS $&^*&@ BORING!!!!!! GET ON THE THE KAREOKE!!!!
Barret: Uh, OK......I guess that ends the cross-examination them. Earlier, we took a snap judgement vote on Fei and Elly and it came out- 50-50! Let's see how the arguments, er courtroom activities, affected the voting. Fei and Elly, stand next to your counselors for your closing arguments. Margie, you may go first.
Margie: Elly did nothing wrong in this relationship. She was helpless when Fei took control of her and felt very misunderstood. She changed sides in the war to Fei, and did all she could for him. He took no mercy and attempted to control her. This is why my client is singing 'No Scrubs' by TLC.
Audience: WOO HOO!!!!!!!
Elly: No, I don't want your number, no I don't wanna give you mine, and no I don't want to lead you nowhere, no, don't want none of your time.............
Maria: YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!
Pikachu: PIKA PIKA!!!!! (you rock!)
Bart: My client, Fei, is clearly innocent. Although he suffered multiple personality issues, he was unable to control them and felt great sympathies to Elly. Meanwhile, she forced him to fight against her and was constantly confused as to which side she was on. This is why Fei is singing 'Tearin up my Heart' by N'Sync.
Audience: BOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fei: It's tearin up my heart when I'm with you, but when we are apart, I feel it tooooo, and no matter what I do, I feel the pain....with or without you!
Cid: HOW DARE YOU SING N'SYNC!!!!
Ash: YOU KNOW, THE AUTHOR HATES N'SYNC!!!!
Barret: That is indeed the case. The author has decided not to tabulate the votes and give the victory to Elly because of Fei's song selection. This concludes today's Blame Game!
Elly: Oh Fei.............
Fei: Oh Elly..........
Elly: I'm so sorry I ever refused your advances!
Fei: I'm sorry I ever hurt you!
Misty: Hey, what about the confession bench? *everyone is too busy listening to Fei and Elly*
Elly: Shall we go off to that grove of trees now?
Fei: Yes! We have a lot of 'things' to do!
Elly: I know! Let's go! *the two of them run off to the bushes*
Ash: Uh, that was weird......
Tifa: yeah.....
Billy: What do you say we take a 15 minute recess in this fanfic?
Mystery Author: Sure. We're closed for another 15 min break.
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15 minutes later
Bart: Hey, it was kind of fun arguing against you, Margie! Even though I lost.....
Margie: Well, that's just cause the author hates N'Sync....
Barret: And it's cool being the judge, I think I'm a great leader!
Cloud: Yeah, you made such a great leader of Avalanche.... *snickers*
Emeralda: Say, I wonder when Fei and Elly are going to be back.
Ash: We'd better ask the author.
Mystery Author: Well guys, Fei and Elly are going to be gone for a couple of episodes.
Cid: &@$*%^@ why?
Mystery Author: Well, they wasted 30 minutes they could have been, you know, in the grove of trees, so they have to make it up by doing it for about 4 hours straight. Solaris rules.
Billy: Wow! The main characters are gone!
Maria: Say, how did you get back, Billy?
Billy: My, uh, meeting ended. Ramsus dropped me off here.
Aeris: Sounds cool. So, with Fei and Elly gone, do you think more people will arrive in part 8?
Mystery Author: Of course! And perhaps some guest stars, too.
Misty: Who are the guest stars going to be?
Mystery Author: It's a surprise! *laughs evily*
Barret: I say I've had enough of this &@%*^ blame game! Let's end this!
Ash: I think you're right.......
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To Be Continued....