Mario Started Starcrart
This fic is sort of strange, it's about how Mario started the war in the PC and N64 game Starcraft. Please R and R!
Note: Haldol is a drug used on psychotic patients.
It all started when at the new Terran colony Mar Sara...
*DING* (Mario rang the door bell of the Mar Sara Camand center. A marine opened a little slot in the door.
Marine:What?
Mario: Did Somebodey call for a plumber?
Marine: No, I called for an exterminater! And a pizza because the damn grill broke down. How good are you at fixing grills?
Mario: Not very... (sees marine's angry look). Please I need money or my girfriend will leave me! I spent most of my money on shiney stars and a shiney new truck.'' (points to a shiney truck)
Marine Wow! That's a cool truck!
Mario:Yes... (scratches chin) Anyway I'm Italian, I bet I can cook pizza!
Marine:Great! Come in, I'll show you to the kitchen! Then maybe you can help us with our Goomba problem.
________
(Mario sees Luigi in the kitchen)
Mario:Luigi? What Are You doing here?
Luigi:I have the same problem as you.
Mario:Which girlfriend?
Luigi:Daisy.
Mario:Just dump her and go for Plum. You can't marry two girls. That's why I only have one.
Luigi: Mario, you're right! I'm going to go for Plum. She'll still love me, even if I don't have that much money left. I can fufill my dream of becoming a tap dancing poodle trainer and not worry about her leaving!
(Luigi throws down towel) I quit! As soon as I get my paycheck!
(Luigi storms away)
Mario: Okay let's Cook Pizza.I don't have an oven or a grill. You can cook burgers on an open flame why not pizza?
(Mario goes outside and starts a fire.Then he tries to make the crust. He can't find any flower so he has to sneak into someone's flower garden, take the flowers and grind them up.
Then he crushed the tomatoes on the dough, baked it, ect... all the things you do to insure your pizza comes out fresh and delicious. But he's Mario. He added extra ingredients. In his demented little mind, he thought the glue would really bring out the oregino in the sauce. And he underestimated the heat of the fire.
But it blew up. The explosion was so powerful that it traveled through the universe. It went so far it landed on the planet Braxis. And by coincidence some landed on Admiril Stukove's head.
Well, you can guess Stokove was steamed so he had his men trace where the pizza sauce was coming from. Within hours, the confederate and the Dominion were at war.
Stokove sent an army of Zerg units to destroy the Dominion. But they became misdirected and ended up fighting a bloody battle with the Protoss on Auier. This is what it might have sounded like... *woosh**splat**stab**spit**"MITTENS!"*
That's how the war between the Protoss and Zerg started, and Mittens crossed over to the other side.)
_____________
Mario was shown to the control room where the strangest advisor in the galaxy was, well, advising.
There were about a million goombas in the room all watching her.)
Advisor: Aditinal supply depots requiered! Not enough minerals! Insufficient vespene gas! Ha Ha Ha Haaaaaaaaa!
Marine: She has, uh, problems.
Mario: Yes, I see.
Marine: That's it, we're exterminating the goombas.
Advisor: No, not the goombas. They are my only friends. Ever since Mittens's life was tragically cut short! You canot kill them! (Advisor takes out her gun.)
(Marine uses his walkie talkie and phones the cammander)
Marine: Commander this is command defense marine 7.
Commander: What? I'm on a very important lunch break. It involves cake and prime time cable.
Marine: I need backup. We have a code white.
Commander:You mean...
Marine:Yes... the advisor has gone psyco!
Commander: But Dr. Green said we had another year before this happened! ::counts on fingers:: Oh yes, he said that a year ago...
Marine: Bring three more marines. And Haldol. Lots of Haldol. Oh yeah, and some morphine.
Cammander: What's the morphine for?
Marine: Nothing really.
One Minute later...
Marine: OK on three.1... uh, 3! ( Everyone jumps into the control room.)
Advisor: My weapon may look weak but watch.(Advisor blows a big hole in the wall.)
Marine:OK... What was that for exactly?
Advisor: Nothin'. I like blowling stuff up. Here, watch me blow up that pile of money.
Marine 2: Naaaaaaaaaaaa! (Shoots a dart filled with Haldol.)
Marine:Now exterminate the Goombas nibbling on the wire.
Mario:Okie dokie! (takes out bazooka, runs off happily)
___________________________
(Mario leaves)
Marine:Cious Mario!
Mario: Wait! I want to ask one question, how do you train your units so fast?
Marine: We build nor train our units. Our units drop out of flowers in the land of Shnooozel. We make portels to the land of Shnooozel and get our units.
Mario: What about upgrades?
Marine:We do certain things to these flowers to make units come out better. The flowers like chocolate. And morphine. And Rob Thomas. Mm... Rob...
Mario, uncomfortable: Wow, um, bye, I guess... (backs away slowly, runs to car)
But only 12 minutes after Mario left, the Zerg attacked the, and the Protoss destroyed a few colonys. Then the Protoss became allied with terran.
~*El Fine*~
This fic is sort of strange, it's about how Mario started the war in the PC and N64 game Starcraft. Please R and R!
Note: Haldol is a drug used on psychotic patients.
It all started when at the new Terran colony Mar Sara...
*DING* (Mario rang the door bell of the Mar Sara Camand center. A marine opened a little slot in the door.
Marine:What?
Mario: Did Somebodey call for a plumber?
Marine: No, I called for an exterminater! And a pizza because the damn grill broke down. How good are you at fixing grills?
Mario: Not very... (sees marine's angry look). Please I need money or my girfriend will leave me! I spent most of my money on shiney stars and a shiney new truck.'' (points to a shiney truck)
Marine Wow! That's a cool truck!
Mario:Yes... (scratches chin) Anyway I'm Italian, I bet I can cook pizza!
Marine:Great! Come in, I'll show you to the kitchen! Then maybe you can help us with our Goomba problem.
________
(Mario sees Luigi in the kitchen)
Mario:Luigi? What Are You doing here?
Luigi:I have the same problem as you.
Mario:Which girlfriend?
Luigi:Daisy.
Mario:Just dump her and go for Plum. You can't marry two girls. That's why I only have one.
Luigi: Mario, you're right! I'm going to go for Plum. She'll still love me, even if I don't have that much money left. I can fufill my dream of becoming a tap dancing poodle trainer and not worry about her leaving!
(Luigi throws down towel) I quit! As soon as I get my paycheck!
(Luigi storms away)
Mario: Okay let's Cook Pizza.I don't have an oven or a grill. You can cook burgers on an open flame why not pizza?
(Mario goes outside and starts a fire.Then he tries to make the crust. He can't find any flower so he has to sneak into someone's flower garden, take the flowers and grind them up.
Then he crushed the tomatoes on the dough, baked it, ect... all the things you do to insure your pizza comes out fresh and delicious. But he's Mario. He added extra ingredients. In his demented little mind, he thought the glue would really bring out the oregino in the sauce. And he underestimated the heat of the fire.
But it blew up. The explosion was so powerful that it traveled through the universe. It went so far it landed on the planet Braxis. And by coincidence some landed on Admiril Stukove's head.
Well, you can guess Stokove was steamed so he had his men trace where the pizza sauce was coming from. Within hours, the confederate and the Dominion were at war.
Stokove sent an army of Zerg units to destroy the Dominion. But they became misdirected and ended up fighting a bloody battle with the Protoss on Auier. This is what it might have sounded like... *woosh**splat**stab**spit**"MITTENS!"*
That's how the war between the Protoss and Zerg started, and Mittens crossed over to the other side.)
_____________
Mario was shown to the control room where the strangest advisor in the galaxy was, well, advising.
There were about a million goombas in the room all watching her.)
Advisor: Aditinal supply depots requiered! Not enough minerals! Insufficient vespene gas! Ha Ha Ha Haaaaaaaaa!
Marine: She has, uh, problems.
Mario: Yes, I see.
Marine: That's it, we're exterminating the goombas.
Advisor: No, not the goombas. They are my only friends. Ever since Mittens's life was tragically cut short! You canot kill them! (Advisor takes out her gun.)
(Marine uses his walkie talkie and phones the cammander)
Marine: Commander this is command defense marine 7.
Commander: What? I'm on a very important lunch break. It involves cake and prime time cable.
Marine: I need backup. We have a code white.
Commander:You mean...
Marine:Yes... the advisor has gone psyco!
Commander: But Dr. Green said we had another year before this happened! ::counts on fingers:: Oh yes, he said that a year ago...
Marine: Bring three more marines. And Haldol. Lots of Haldol. Oh yeah, and some morphine.
Cammander: What's the morphine for?
Marine: Nothing really.
One Minute later...
Marine: OK on three.1... uh, 3! ( Everyone jumps into the control room.)
Advisor: My weapon may look weak but watch.(Advisor blows a big hole in the wall.)
Marine:OK... What was that for exactly?
Advisor: Nothin'. I like blowling stuff up. Here, watch me blow up that pile of money.
Marine 2: Naaaaaaaaaaaa! (Shoots a dart filled with Haldol.)
Marine:Now exterminate the Goombas nibbling on the wire.
Mario:Okie dokie! (takes out bazooka, runs off happily)
___________________________
(Mario leaves)
Marine:Cious Mario!
Mario: Wait! I want to ask one question, how do you train your units so fast?
Marine: We build nor train our units. Our units drop out of flowers in the land of Shnooozel. We make portels to the land of Shnooozel and get our units.
Mario: What about upgrades?
Marine:We do certain things to these flowers to make units come out better. The flowers like chocolate. And morphine. And Rob Thomas. Mm... Rob...
Mario, uncomfortable: Wow, um, bye, I guess... (backs away slowly, runs to car)
But only 12 minutes after Mario left, the Zerg attacked the, and the Protoss destroyed a few colonys. Then the Protoss became allied with terran.
~*El Fine*~