It's our second anniversary, {in sarcastic voice} Hooray {end sarcasm}, two years after our confession for each other which was one day past our first reunion. But now I'm no longer sure that I made the correct decision that day, I've got some feelings for him but now I realize that they're only friendly. My heart belongs to someone else, but I don't know whom. I only know that there's someone else waiting for me, somewhere in these two worlds. I'm sure he is/was a DD, even Tailmon has such a precognition about him/them. There was definitely one other digimon, I have a vague memory of a second angel. But noone believes me, everyone thinks that I imagine this, even Daisuke who proclaims to love me. I wished that there'd be someone to talk to, but I've to be an only-child but even this seems to me like a lie. I know that the truth is somewhere hidden in our pasts, but where ?
Now I've got a difficult mission, I've to break up with Daisuke without hurting him too much. But is there a way to do this without hurting ? Am I strong enough to do this even if it hurts ? Do I even have another choice than this ? – Questions and much more questions which torture my mind. I think I need some help, and I know the perfect person for this…
I get my jacket and heads to the main door.
"Mom, I'm at Sora's. And then I've got something important to do. Don't wait for me with supper."
"Yes dear, I hope You don't hurt him too hard. Be only back before curfew."
How does she know ? Wait a second, perhaps she can help me… I put my jacket back and heads towards the kitchen.
"Mom, how do You know ?"
"That wasn't that difficult, I noticed a while ago that You aren't really happy around him anymore, You're still friends but nothing more than that."
"I know, and the worst thing, I have since a long time a feeling that something or someone important is missing. Recently I realized that my heart belongs someone else, someone I cannot remember. Don't ask me, but that's only a feeling I've got."
"Don't worry about that, even I've got a weird feeling of someone's missing here although I doubt that we're talking about the same person. Everytime I think I remember my thought slips simply away and leaves frustration."
"That's exactly the same feeling I've got about this person. I know that I've got to remember, but I cannot as if something or someone blocks this. I think it's time for me to follow my heart instead of following my mind. Sometimes my precognition shows me the correct way in my life. – Mom, is there a way to break up with someone without hurting him ?"
"Not really, even if he doesn't really love You his pride will be hurt. This is one of the hurts You cannot avoid, even if You won't break up now, You two would never be happy with each other and that'll hurt You much more. You'd ever ask what would be, what You missed in Your life. It'll be hard for You, very hard but it has to be done. Just one warning, he might hurt You emotionally after the break up, Your dad and I will be here for You if he does."
"Thanks mom for Your help, I think I know what I've to do now. See You later…"
*** switching POV ***
I see my daughter leaving, I wished I could tell her the complete truth. I know who they are, who she misses, but I also know that I'm not allowed to tell her, she has to decide by her own who she wants to rescue, her soulmate or her brother. It's hard to behave like if Taichi never existed, and it's harder not to persuade her for rescuing her brother. But I know the dangers of the soul-quest and if I persuaded her in rescuing him she might get badly hurt. If her heart wants him then it'll be and if not we have to live with this. And there's still hope that both can be rescued. But for now I've got to call him, the bearer of Wisdom, the only one who gave up his human-life and became the last ray of hope for our future. I'm still sorry that his wife died a short while after his sacrifice, now everybody thinks both died during a car-accident leaving their only child behind. I wished I know something about the orphan but I don't.
I leave the kitchen to go into our bedroom and take an old device out of its hiding spot. I wished I could use the whole potential of this device but now we can only use the ability to communicate between us five.
"Faith calls Wisdom…" I sounds weird, but that's the usual procedure to call someone else. I don't know if he still has his device around him, but even if not, he'll answer as soon he's possible.
I wait around 5 minutes looking at the device.
"Here's Wisdom, who calls ?"
"That's me, Faith. I think it's time for the first soul-quest."
"Light's looking for Hope, isn't she ?"
"I think that's right. She's now about breaking up with Courageous Friendship. She knows somehow that both are missing."
"Did You tell her something ?"
"I know that I'm not allowed to tell her. Even if I wished she'd rescue my son she'll have to follow her heart."
"Don't worry about the other one. He'll also be rescued, I found that in one of the prophecies and You know that most of the prophecies will be fulfilled."
"I hope so. When will we see us again ?"
"When Hope and Light are back, only both can open Your path. Then we can meet again. I hope I don't sound rude, but I've got to prepare a soul-quest. We'll see us again."
"I hope this. Until then…"
My device becomes silent and I put it back into its hideout. Then I notice my husband standing near the door looking at me.
"Have You spoken with him ? And what about the soul-quest ? I wished that she won't go on this, it's too dangerous."
"I'm sorry, but we both know that she has to. She must follow her heart or else her light might fade and we'd lose her too."
"I know, I won't interfere if she wants on her soul-quest but don't expect me liking that. She'll risk her sanity and perhaps even her life, and I don't want to lose her too. I can hardly accept Taichi's fate, I don't know if I'd survive that too"
"Don't worry, after him there's still hope to see Taichi again. But he couldn't say when. I wished I knew why he left, why he lost his path…"
"That's not that difficult. His heart broke and he had no longer faith in his crest, he was too coward to tell her in time and then he lost her without a fight. It's weird that Courage falls twice for the same mistake."
"That's somehow ironic; like father - like son…"
*** back to Hikari ***
Even after my talk with mom I decide to visit Sora first, perhaps she's got an idea how to break up without hurting him that hard; she and Yamato broke up very often – she should have experience. Finally I reach her family's flower-shop – she's got to work there these days since her mom left for visiting Sora's dad. I enter the shop and notice Sora preparing some flowers in the back of the shop.
"Hi Sora."
"Oh hi Hikari, what are You doing here, shouldn't You celebrate Your anniversary ?"
"That's the reason why I'm here. I can't celebrate anything which isn't real. I know that we're now two years together, but I recently realized that our relation would never work out."
"That doesn't sound good. And why are You here ?"
"I need anyone to clear my mind and figure out what and how to do. And then I need someone who might help me figuring out some things I've in my mind."
"Best we begin with the question, how sure are You about the fact that it won't work out ?"
"Very sure, for months I'm not happy around him, to be honest I'm tired of him; he's a good friend, but around him I still miss something important and I've got many troubles imagine us growing old together. And then there's a feeling that my heart belongs a long time someone else, someone I cannot remember."
"Don't begin with this mysterious boy, we're sure that he never existed."
"Are You really sure ? There are a few open questions I found out during the last year. Here's a very simple: How did You defeat Devimon ? After talking with everyone he managed to defeat all Your digimon, so HOW did You defeat him ?"
I notice her mind clicking and working…
"That's odd, I never thought of this, and now I see the problem, we haven't defeated him, it has to be someone else…"
"Perhaps You now understand why I cannot believe that I only imagine things. Even if You were right it wouldn't change anything about my feelings towards Daisuke. It took a long time to realize but finally I know my feelings towards him. I only see a friendship between us, nothing more. Now I only need a way to break the news without hurting him too bad."
"To be honest, I know no way to do this a soft way, I can only recommend You to be honest towards him and tell him how You feel. It might hurt him but it's not that bad as if You'd live a lie and only stay together for not hurting him. Even if he fell hard for You, which I doubt, he'll get over it. Simply follow Your heart…"
I notice a lightly change of her mood as if she thinks about her own advice.
"I hope it doesn't sound rude, but I think I should face my destiny. If You need someone to talk to, You know where I live…"
"Okay, good luck."
I leave the store and head to Daisuke's with a heavy burden on my heart.
*** switching the POV again ***
She's right and I knew it all along, but my own fears persuaded my mind to keep status quo. Not only I wish to know who saved us against Devimon, who saved me from Datamon's lab. Who ?!? I know the answers are somewhere hidden in my mind and in my heart, but I cannot resolve anything. The question : Why ?!?
*** somewhere hidden in the DW ***
I see the next challenger, one girl on a soul-quest, like her mother once. Like everytime before I obey the rules, the rules of the soul-quest. She has her chance, neither is this chance good nor bad, it's a chance her heart gives her. She'll be her biggest enemy, I'm just the mediator, I'm the one who fulfilled his wish, I'm Illusio, master of mind.
*** back in the 'real world' ***
I know it has to be, but I don't want to hurt her. I know that our relationship doesn't go anywhere, we're stuck. The worst, I know this for a long time and didn't tell her my true feelings. I know she deserves the truth, I cannot live a lie anymore especially since I don't know why I even thought being in love with her. Somehow I've got a bad feeling about my motives at that time, and I think I hurt someone, someone close I cannot remember. Today is our anniversary, two years after our first 'confession' and I think that's exactly what I've to do today, confess my true feelings even if it'll hurt.
I grab my jacket and heads towards the main door. Suddenly the door-bell rings. Surprised I open the door.
"Oh hi, Hikari."
"Hi Daisuke, I think we should talk."
"I know, I just wanted to visit You for this. Best we go in my room for this. I think it's better not to talk in public about this."
Slowly and awkward we head into my room. It's still a little bit messy, but she knows my room this way.
"So, why are You here ?"
"We should talk about 'us'."
"That's odd, I just wanted to talk with You about the same theme. I hope You'll understand what I've to do."
"Why do I have an odd feeling that we're both going to do the same ?"
"Perhaps because we are. I'm sorry if I've to hurt You, but…"
"… I think we should break up."
I don't know why, but I feel relieved. Perhaps because we both know that we're no match by heaven.
"Exactly. I hope we'll still be friends, but I think our relationship doesn't work out."
"I know for a while, but I needed time to resolve why. Now I'm sure my heart belongs someone else for a long time although I don't know whom…"
"I hope for You that You'll find Your soulmate. But even I have to follow my heart and it says that You're not the one I seek."
"I'm glad that You understand. I don't know what I would've done if not."
"Even I'm glad that I didn't need to hurt You. But for me it's time to go on searching my soulmate."
"I wish You best luck with this. My mission is harder, I've to find someone of my past I've got no memories and proofs of his existence except an odd feeling."
"I can tell You that even I have a feeling that there was someone else, someone I hurt very hard. If You find him send him my apologizes for this…"
"I will. And thanks for understanding. You don't know how relieved I am."
"Sorry, if I may sound rude, but I think You should go home and think about that. Even I need some time for myself. We'll meet in a few days."
I lead her out of the apartment and give her a final good-bye. I don't know what will happen in the future, but I'm sure it won't be anymore a lie…
*** somewhere else in the DW ***
Something has happened, since my arrival that's the first time that I've got that feeling. I know that I live a lie here, but at least I didn't have to hurt her and I don't have to see them flirting. I decided to let her go even without a fight… Here I have only contact to one other human-being, someone who's chosen the same way before me. At first I didn't know him, but then I remembered. We're both living a life which is a lie, noone else we know is part of ours. Be both focus on our education, he's more interested in politics and economy, meanwhile I prefer languages and sports…