Growing WiserBy: Jessica L Brewer
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Author's note:All characters save for Jackie belong to the producers and creators of Growing Pains.Jackie is mine.I hope you enjoy! Setting:Takes place after the first movie
Mornings aren't kind to me.I work the late shift on WLIRock 93.7 and I'm on from 12-3p.m. Then I have to get up, face my family at home and worry about that. But other than that, I love being a dejay. It's so much fun.I get to pick what's played on the radio.
And that morning, I woke up after I finally heard Mom yelling at me for the fourtieth time.
"Jacklynn Casandra Seaver! get up!"
You'd think she'd realize I'm 24 now and not 18.
But then again you don't know my mother,either.
Dad was downstairs. "Hey honey." He said. I hugged him and asked how the writing was going.
"Okay." Dad responded enthuastically. "Derek's found a new lady friend." He said rasing his eyebrows suggestively. I laughed. "Good for Derek. Is she blonde like Mom?" Derek's last girlfriend was based entirly on Maggie Malone Seaver--my mom. Only, her name had been Cathrine Roland. My mom and Dad's middle names.
"I don't know." Dad said thinking. "Maybe Derek should date a redhead in this one."
"Morning!" Chrissy said brightly coming down the stairs. She wore a new green top and a black skirt. "Hey Jacks." She said. "I didn't know you were here this morning."
"Uh I still live here Chris." I reminded her. "Remember, my apartment is being fumegated?"
"Oh. Right." Chrissy nodded and sat about to getting her school things together. She didn't like Dewy very much and I sympathize with her. Dimwitt--Mr. Dewitt could be hard on someone. Espically if you're last name was Seaver.
"Morning." Ben trotted down the stairs and sat in the armchair facing the tv. "I switched classes Dad.I'm in afternoon now." Ben explained. "Great!You wanna go play golf today Benny?" Dad asked.
Ben and I and Chrissy exchanged looks. It seemed Dad hated it when we left--he was all alone here, cooped up all day staring at the computer screen.So we three kids had decided that once a week, one of us would stay home and spend time with Dad.
It was Ben's turn this week.
"Sure." Ben said with a light shrug. "And then we can go to the Campus and scop out some babes." He said with a smile. Dad laughed. "Ben I haven't scoped out babes since the sixties." Dad said.
"And you'd better not toady Jason Roland Seaver." Mom said walking into the kitchen. She smiled at Dad and thread an earring through her ear.I must admit my mom is beautiful. I hope I look as good as she does when I'm her age. She was fourty-five now, and still looked like she was only in her mid thirties. Her blonde hair was starting to grow out some and the outfit she wore was stylishly Mom.
"Jackie I didn't know you were here today." Mom said with a smile. "I thought you were moving into your own place this week."
"I am Mom." I said. "My apartment is being fumegated for termites.So I have to stay here a few days."
"Okay. Well Chris you ready?I've got to go to work."
"Yeah Mom." Chrissy flashed me a smile that said she had something in store for Mr. Dewitt. I had to chuckle.
"By guys." She called as she and Mom left.
"Well Benny." Dad said standing. "I'm gonna write a chapter of my new novel and then we'll get the ol' golfing bags out okay?"
Ben forced a smile. "Can't wait Dad."
"Great!" Dad dissapeared into his study. Ben stood. "I'm going upstairs Jacks." he said to me. "Let me know if Jodie calls." Jodie was Ben's new girlfriend.
"'kay." I said absently and walked into the kitchen to get something to eat before I went to the deja meeting they scheduled at a god-awful hour. Seven-twenty.Who got up then?
I got out a juice and checked my reflextion in the toaster.I looked okay,I decided. My hair was shorter than it had been, cut to my shoulders and smoothed.I wore a blue keyhole shirt and a pair of flared jeans.Chrissy had kept saying I wasn't 'in style'.
Just as I was about to grab a bannana, the phone rang.I smirked thinking it was Jodie. I yanked it up. "Hello?" I asked into the reciever. For a moment, there was no response.
Then: "Jackie?!" A familiar voice asked.
I paused. "Luke?" I knew his voice at once. It had been years since I'd seen him--seven to be exact and not once had he called...and I had been hurt...so hurt by that. But I had been almost overjoyed again to hear his voice.
"Uh yeah." I said in a calmer voice. "This is me.Luke--how are you?" I could almost see Luke smile. "I'm fine." He said. "Hey. Can you let everybody know that I'm moving back to Long Island?I'm transfering to Colubmbia.I know Ben goes there.Mike there?" He asked.
"No.Mike's at work." I said. I felt kinda dissapointed that he didn't want to talk to me, but can you blame him?I mean really. "He might be over later though." I said.
"Okay.Great. Well I'll call again when Maggie or Jason--"
"Dad's here." I said. "Want me to get him?"
"Sure." Luke replied.
"Okay.Hang on." I said.
"Jackie?" i heard Luke ask.
"Yeah?"
"It was nice hearing from you." Luke said softly.
I smiled. "Yeah you too."
I sat the phone down and hurried to Dad's office.Emotions welled inside me.Luke.To see Luke again...oh god.We had dated--seriously dated--when he lived with us. The relationship had ended but I still had feelings for Luke.Feelings I had kept inside for too long.I bit my lip,what was done was done.
"Dad!Luke's on the phone!" I exclaimed.
"What?Really?" Dad picked up the phone in his office.His face brightned when he heard Luke's voice. "Hey Luke!yeah it's great to hear from you too...uh hu...yeah of course you can come visit us!Anytime you want!We have a spare room and...uh hu.Tommorow?Great.can't wait to see you.Okay.By."
Dad hung up. "Guess what Jackie?Luke's going to move back to Long Island.Isn't that great?" he was beaming.I knew Mom would too, when she heard Dad's news.
"Yeah, it is." I ment it.Before Luke and I dated, we had been good friends too.Sometimes I wonder why I did what I did. Scared, I guess.But sixteen is way too young to get married don't you think?
Now I wonder if I did the right thing.If I had said yes to Luke we'd be together now,not millions of miles away! "I can't wait." Dad was saying. "Oh the whole family will be together again!I'm gonna go tell Ben!" Dad went up the stairs to tell Ben the great news. I felt my heart pull. How would we react when we were in the same room as one another?
I was on pins and needles all day, thinking about Luke. I went to work and my friend Gina greeted me. "Yo Seaver what's wrong with you?" She asked seeing me.
"Nothing." I said. I hated how Gina could always see through people. Gina smirked. "Yeah. Man trouble?"
I rolled my eyes. "That was last month.I broke up with Garry remember?" I asked her.
She nodded. "Oh yeah.Garry was a jerk anyways." She said and sat down beside me in the dejay booth.My headphones sat on the table and I was supposed to sort through an hour's of music. I had picked out some Guns N Roses, Ozzy, Nirvana and Kiss.That would start the hour off.
"Alright." My assistant said. "Let's get in the booth girls." Gina waved to me and headed to her own section.
"Heeeey Long Island!" I greeted. "How is everyone tonight?Me, peechy keen." This was a lie but hey. "Why don't you get to your phone and call in some requests?We're starting the hour off with Kiss's 'I Love it Loud'.That oughta getcha rockin'."
I pressed a button and the music filtered out.
My job was relaxing to say the least.
It was two-twenty.Soon I would get to go home and fall into bed.You'd think being a dejay wouldn't be so exhausting but trust me, it was.I could barely keep my eyes open as it was now.
I picked up the new Aerosmith CD. *Just Push Play* I had my own copy and I loved it. The thing was, Chrissy got more use out of it than I did.One thing I did was pass my love for rock n roll onto Chrissy. The first track was called 'Beyond Beautiful'. I liked it but it hit home awful good. I pushed the button and the song came on.
U gave up the love you got
And that is that
She loves me now
She loves you not
And that's where it's at
Just when you thought your love was deep, It's finders keepers losers weep...
How true.
Finally three o clock rolled in. I gratefully let Jimbob, the next dejay come in.
I picked up my purse and was a bit jolted. Luke would be at Mom and Dad's!
Oh woah.I had forgotten!
I hurried outside and flipped my compact mirror open.Don't know why,except it was out of habit. I looked okay.I stuck the mirror back in my purse and headed outside to my car.
I got in and left for home.
Once there, I saw a different car parked in the driveway.It was a red BMW. Luke's. Undoubtedly.
Oh god. I was already nervous, and half-hoped he was asleep.What was I going to say to Luke?
Bonehead. I said to myself. You're a bonehead Jackie! I swallowed. Just get up and go inside.
So that's what I did. When I used the key to open the door, it wa quiet. A numbing, strange kind of relief flowed through me. I walked into the kitchen to get something to drink and a snack. Mom usually left me out some dinner.
I went to the fridge and pulled out a Coke and the leftover fish that had been today's meal. I stuck the hotplate in the microwave and pushed the buttons that would warm the food up.
"Hey, Jackie."
I bit my lip,out of long nervous habit and turned around. "Hi Luke." I said.
He smiled at me. "You cut your hair." He noted. Self-conciously I reached up to feel it. "Yeah. Chrissy kept saying I needed a new look." I said.
Luke nodded. "It looks nice."
"Thank you."
A long silence stretched between us.
U gave up the love you got...
And that is that...
The Aerosmith lyrics raced like crazy through my head.
Did he still have feelings for me?
I could only wonder.
"So." Luke said clearing his throat. "How are things for you?" I quickly tore eye contact away. "F-fine." I managed to stutter. "I mean...it's life.Sometimes you like it, other times you don't.My job is great." I said.
"Yeah." Luke nodded. "Ben was telling me earlier that you were a dejay for WLIRock."
"Yeah." I said. "What about you?" I asked.
"Me?What about me?" Replied Luke.
"How's things going for you?" I asked him. "I mean, since we haven't heard from you in so long." I happened to add a little bitterly.
Luke eyed me. "I thought you--" He began but shook his head. "Never mind." He said. "It was...different living with my dad." Luke told me. "not like when I lived with you all. I was in one place for maybe a week, long enough to get to know some people, then it seemed like Dad was ready to get into the truck and leave."
"I thought you're dad wasn't supposed to truck drive anymore." I pointed out. If Mr. Brower had put a fast one on Mike, and Mike knew...well I can say it would've been like 'Jerry Springer'. Luke shrugged. "He wasn't. But he never listens to anyone. So we did the truck driving thing for a year. I knew if I wanted my own life..a normal life...I would have to do something about it." Luke said. "So I stayed with one of my dad's girlfriends for a while.She lived in California.I went to college and decided to transfer to Columbia, because I remember Carol talking about the good journalistic program they have there."
"You're a journalist?" I asked with surprise. Luke nodded. "For a magazine. It's called Rock Legends and it's fairly new but I get my own aritcle." He said entuastically. "It's really wonderful."
I smiled, but felt sad inside as I realized I didn't really know Luke anymore. "That's great." I said to him.
"Thanks. It's combining both the things I love...music and writing." He explained.
"Wow." I took a sip of my coke. "Sounds like you have it all together."
Luke met my eyes sqaurely. "Not all together." He assured me. "Jackie...I know this is none of my buisness but...are you dating anyone?" He asked.
I felt my heart flutter. "No.Not now." I replied.
"Oh."
"Well." Luke said. "I'm glad I got to talk to you.I think I'm going to go get some sleep.Mike's coming by tomorrow.I can't wait to see him." I smiled. "Yeah. Mike'll be happy to see you too." "Well." Luke stood on the steps that lead into the hallway. " 'Night." He looked as though he wanted to say something else but held back.
"'Night." i echoed watching him turn and head back upstairs. I finished my dinner, cleaned up and went upstairs to dress and get ready for bed. After I brushed my teeth and changed my head hit the pillow and the last thought I was thinking was,
'We're not even the same people we were in high school.
'
So...if we'd both changed so dramatically, why should they're be any feelings left between us?
The next few days I saw little of Luke.Not on purpose, but because a flu was going around WILRock and everyone kept needing me to fill in for them.I got so tired.It felt like I hardly ever got enough sleep, and to top it off, my stupid car wouldn't start when I was ready to move back into my own place.
"Come on Damn you." I said to the Ford Taurus. "Please work!" Mike had left with the kids already so I couldn't catch a ride there.Ben was with Jodie.
I headed back inside.
"Need a ride?"
I jumped. "Don't do that,Luke, you scared me." I said my breathing slowy returning to normal.
"Sorry." He grinned impishly. "I got to go into town today anways so, come on."
I got my purse and headed outside with him. Once we got in the car, Luke turned the radio on.'November Rain' came on.It had always been on of my favorite Guns n Roses songs. "I hear a flu's been going around." Luke said to fill the silence between us.
"Yeah.It's a wonder I haven't caught it yet." I said.
More silence.
"Jackie?" Luke asked suddenly, and from the way his voice had deepend here, I knew whatever he was going to say would be serious.
"Y-yeah?" Nervously I twisted the ring on my index finger.
"What happened to us?" Luke asked turning onto Lincoln.
"What--what do you mean?" I asked knowing perfectly well what Luke ment.
"You know." He said.
I did.
"We were so good together...why?"
"I--I just did what I had to do." I said lamely. "I mean, I was a kid and I didn't really know how to handle something like that but--"
"So pushing me away was for the best?" Luke asked.
"No.I just thought that if we were still together, you'd stay here, and not get a chance to know you're dad." I said in a tiny voice. "I mean, that would've been my fault and then you might've hated me."
Luke shook his head. "I could never hate you Jackie." He said.
"You should've let me decide what was the right thing to do.Or, at least told me what was going on."
"I know." I remarked meekly.
We pulled up to my apartment village. "What number?" Luke asked. "14." I said. He pulled in the space right by my door. "Need any help?"
"No, I got my stuff a few days ago.But...thanks." I said. "For the ride."
"Any time." Luke replied. He met my gaze.
"Yeah. Well, I'll see you later." I croaked and got my purse, stepping out.
"Yeah." Luke nodded.
I went up to the door, and dug around for my keys.My hands were shaking. Why was I such an...idiot?Dumbell? Luke honked his horn once before he drove off. I waved then closed the door behind me.
After I had settled into my place, I decided to go over to Carol's. My car was fixed.One of Ben's friends was a mechanic and fixed it for me.I headed over to Carol. Now, as you may have remembered Carol was dating Scott, who was a part of the enemy campaign against Mom. We all thought she would marry him.
But a week after they had moved in together, Boner--Mike's best friend, Richard Stabone---had came back.Apparently, he and Carol met on the sly, and Carol, feeling guilty had told Boner she had a fiance.Boner proposed to Carol on the spot and she broke things up with Scott. Now, Boner and Carol are married.Their expecting a baby too.Weirder things have happened.Actually, I like Boner very much.So I'm happy for Carol.I'm glad things could work out for her.
I knocked on the door. Boner answered. "Heya Jacks." He said with a smile. "What's up?"
"Not much." I said. "Carol home?" I asked.
"Sure.Come on in." He lead me inside then called, "Carol, Jackie's here!" Carol stuck her head out of her office. "Hey Jackie.What's wrong?"
"Why does something have to be wrong?" I replied. "With you, there always is." Carol said with a knowing smirk. "Well." Boner interupted. "I'm gonna let you girls talk.Think I'll go watch some football."
"Okay sweetie." Carol said, kissing Boner. "Come on Jackie." She lead me inside her office.
"So what's wrong?" She asked again.Sometimes Carol got on my nerves with her 'I'm so right' attitude.
"It's like this." I said registering a long sigh. "I made a terrible mistake."
"Don't I know it." Carol said. "I'm assuming this is about Luke?"
"No it's about the fact I like jello better than pudding." I retorted.
"Touchy.I was just asking No need to bite my head off." "Sorry." I said.
"Okay.But what did you realize?"Carol asked, concerned now.
"That I still love him.Carol...I think Luke loves me too, but I don't know what to do!" I exclaimed.
Carol smiled. "Oh." She said with a wave of her hand. "It's simple.Tell him how you feel.Jacks, I know you've never been one with the touchy-feely moments, but sometimes...it helps." She said with a wise experince. "Belive me, I know."
"And that's it? Just...tell him?" I asked.
"Yeah." Carol nodded. "I think you'll both feel lots better." I mulled it over. "Yeah maybe you're right.Just don't get used to me saying that." I said with a grin.
Carol returned the grin.
We tallked a while longer, and I had to go. I said goodby to Boner, who was yelling at the qb to go!
When I drove back to my place, there was a not attached to the door.Curiously, I picked it up, and opened it.Familiar handwritng.Luke's.
Jackie, I think we need to talk.I'm tired of wasting time. So if you still have feelings for me,meet me at the Cafe. Luke
Carol's words were still in my eyes as I drove to the Cafe.It had once been Dewy High's major hangout, but now mostly college kids occupied it.
I saw Luke sitting in the back corner.
I went over there.
"Hey." Luke said, relive in his blue eyes. "For a minute I thought you wasn't going to show."
I sank into the chair across from him. "Why?"
He smirked. "It's just something you'd do is all." Luke responded. He went on before I could think up something to reply to that. "Look, let's not fight okay?" He asked.I closed my mouth. "Jackie...I love you.I always have.I just need to know how you feel."
"I--I-- still love you too Luke." I managed to say.
Luke's eyes were warm. "Well then." He said. "That's...that's good."
Then he kissed me.
"Okay okay!" Mike said as he gathered into the kitchen. Mike's kids were all here, Evie, Liz, Hannah, Taylor and Lucy.Talk about a noise factory. "What is this big thing you wanted to tell us Mike?" Mom asked picking up Lucy.
Mike grinned that 'I have a secret' grin of his. "Well Mom, Dad." he said with a smile. "I want you all to meet me at the old house.I'll tell you there!"
"Mike!" Mom said following him into the living room. "That doesn't help much!"
Luke whispered in my ear, "What do you think Mike's cooked up this time?" He asked.
"Knowing Mike." I said. "it could be anything."
Luke chuckled and took my hand.
Later, we were all at the old house. "O--Okay everyone just settle down." Mike said. He picked up the FOR SALE sign in the yard.
"Mike get on with it!" Chrissy demanded.
"Yeah, really." Ben said.
"Okay." Mike couldn't contain himself. "Mom, Dad...I bought the old house back for you guys." His eyes sparkled.
"I know how much you love this house, so I got it back."
"Mike!" Mom exclaimed. She hugged him.
"Why did you buy this house Daddy?" Evie asked.
"Because I grew up here Evie." Mike said to his daughter. "This was my childhood home."
"Oh." Evie seemed satisfied with the answer.
We all went inside. Memories rushed over me as soon as I stepped into the foyaer. I could see myself when I was seven again, trailing along after Mike.
I don't know how I felt being in there again.It was strange.The house was empty, but I could still see exactly where everything was.
"Wow." Luke said to me. "It feels strange being here again, after all these years."
I took his hand.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mike smile with an eyebrow raised.I ignored him and walked on.
"Hey remember that time I tried to remove the linoluem off the floor?" Ben asked as we went into the kitchen.
"Oh yeah." I said with a laugh. "I didn't watch where I was going and I got stuck on it." More memories overswept me.
It felt good to be here again. In a way, I suppose I had grown up a bit.You can't hold on to the past, you gotta let go and live in the now.