Disclaimer: I do not own Dudley Dursley, Vernon Dursley, Petunia Dursley, Marge Dursley, or Harry Potter. I am not claiming to own any of the above characters. They belong to the goddess who is most commonly known as J.K. Rowling.
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Pig in a Wig
By: Noelle
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This poem was inspired by the section in the 'Sorcerer's Stone':
Harry was frying eggs by the time Dudley arrived in the kitchen with his mother. Dudley looked a lot like Uncle Vernon. He had a large pink face, not much neck, small, watery blue eyes, and thick blond hair that lay smoothly on his thick, fat head. Aunt Petunia often said that Dudley looked like a baby angel - Harry often said that Dudley looked like a pig in a wig.
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I may be large; I may be big
But I'm not no Pig in a Wig!
All my life I've been told
That I resemble a whale
As a baby I was
A beach ball of a male
I was never very bright
In fact, I was quite dumb
I was called many names
'A baby angel' by my mom
Portly, stout, obese, plump
A fleshy, bulky, heavy lump
I pounded into the ground
The people who called me fat
And I pounded them again
If they called me a prat
I never ate nutritionally
And despised working out
I always hated to exercise
And because of this, I'm stout
They tried to expel me from Smeltings
For my 'poor' health
But they couldn't kick me out
Because of my father's wealth
Maybe I am stout
And maybe I am large
But I take after my father
And my wretched Aunt Marge
I may be large; I may be big
Maybe I am a Pig in a Wig…
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A/N: Okay, that was quite pointless. I just felt like there weren't that many Dudley pieces out there, and I came up with this poem. I don't like it that much… It doesn't really have a point. I was just trying to do a rhyming piece. In case you didn't figure it out, it was about Dudley's feelings towards his weight. So, please review. In this case, flames are accepted!