"Horror
Flick"
The skies were
unmerciful as huge drops of ran cascaded down from the clouds and fell
effortlessly towards the ground. Feet
slopping under the mud could be heard in the faraway distance as the storm grew
in intensity. The lightning reached up
to the heavens and released a shattering thunderclap. Three figures could hardly be made out as the sheets of rain
obscured what small view they had.
Small cries echoed through the perilous night as the storm fell right on
top of them.
Ash, Misty and
Brock were running down the soggy wet trail attempting to escape the fury of
the storm. As streaks of lightning
rolled across the sky, brief flashes illuminated the forest around them for
mere seconds. The light bounded off the
tangled masses of trees and vegetation, the shadows seemed to create ominous
shadows with large mangled hands which seemed to reach out and try to grab them
as they sprinted past.
They stopped
momentarily to take shelter under a willow tree. The storm raged on as the thunder grew nearer and in more
succession. Misty frightfully turned
and looked up to the old tree. It's
long slender leaves reached down the forest floor and waved slightly in the
harsh wind. As the flashes of light
reached them bumps, hallows and knots in the tree seemed to carve out the form
of an old mans face. She cringed
inwardly and pushed Ash and Brock to keep moving, so as to get away from the
frightfully evil tree.
Pikachu gripped
onto Ash shirt as it seeked shelter inside his jacket. Togepi was blissfully unaware of the danger
of the situation as it enjoyed the show nature was presenting to it.
Ash struggled
to climb a slippery outcrop of semite rock.
He turned to help his friends up; just then a bolt of lightening crashed
down from the sky and struck a maple tree.
The sap boiled instantaneously and disintegrated the trunk from the
inside out. The shards of bark flew
through the air as the canopy landed loudly on the muddy ground.
"HOLY
SHIT!" Ash exclaimed.
Misty and Brock
quickly scrambled onto the ledge and ran across the fiery remains of the once
proud maple. The wind picked up speed
and blew the rain horizontally, stinging their eyes and face. "ITS GOING UP MY NOSE!" Misty yelled.
They all
crouched down behind an old rock wall.
They huddled together as they braced against the increasing wind. It was pure chaos as they could hardly hear
there own breath as they sucked in oxygen to heal their burning lungs.
Brock peered
into the raging darkness. And with the
multiple flashes of the lightening filling the sky he was able to make out a
shape. He strained is eyes and blocked
the rain with his hand from obscuring his view. The lightning flashed again and he could finally make out the
unforgettable shape of a house. Ash and
Misty were unable to hear his shouts and pleas as Brock finally shoved them in
the direction of the building. For the
first time Misty saw it as it materialized in front of them out of the storm.
They all rushed
towards the front door and realized that it wasn't a house it was a
mansion. Without wasting any time Ash
pounded on the huge metal doors.
"AVON CALLING!!!" There was no answer.
Brock, out of desperation shoved Ash out of the way and started slamming
into the door with his shoulder, trying to bust it open. "OPEN THE FRICK'N
DOOR!!!!" After a few more attempts
Brock backed off and rubbed his shoulder.
Misty reached
out and grabbed the doorknob. She
easily pushed the door open and jumped inside. Ash and Brock had sweatdrops as
the stood in the rain. They both
quickly ran inside and shut the door behind them.
Inside
the mansion, it was as dark as the night and incredible dusty. Cloth's covered what little furniture were
inside and cobwebs littered the ceiling.
There was a dry rising smell and the floors creaked as they walked into
the center of the foyer. Ash whipped
the water from his jacket
"……………….hello? um……..sorry to burst in like this……..we were wondering if
we could stay here and wait out the storm………"
Ash searched for somebody to talk to but he found nothing. He waited for an answer, but got none. "Hmmmm, guess nobody's home…….."
Misty
checked on Togepi, who was sleeping. "I don't know if I want to stay here…its
creepy……"
Ash
dumped his backpack on an old table and walked towards the staircase. "it kinda homey……….did you hear that?"
A
small creaking noise could be heard from somewhere near him. Suddenly the floor gave way from underneath
his feet and he fell trough the wooden planks.
Misty and Brock dove to catch him but it was to late. The house shook with each sub floor Ash fell
through.
*CRASH!*
"OW!" *CRUSH!* "ARGH!" *BEJORK!* "Bejork? I mean…AHH!"
He
landed in a heap in a laundry hamper in the basement. Misty stuck her head down the long hole as she stared worriedly
at Ash. "you okay?!"
He
ripped off a urine soaked comforter from his face and stared back at her. "yeah, luckily these old soiled bed sheets
broke my fall………..egh…be a dear…..run a bath….." He sat himself up and climbed out of the
hamper. Ash had fallen through 3 floors
and ended up unscathed. "I'm a lucky
bastard….." He took a look around at
his surroundings. As he looked for a
door he pushed aside some boxes and discovered the breaker. He opened up the rusted doors and found that
many fuses were blown but a few remained.
He pumped the handle to get a charge and flipped the main power
switch. All over the mansion the lights
came to life and flickered as they swayed from the ceiling.
"booyah!
I da man…who da man?….I da man…ya…um…"
The light bulb above the fuse box got brighter and brighter, suddenly it
exploded sending glass shards everywhere.
Misty and Brock stared at the ceiling as all the lights exploded from
the overcharge. Once again, they where
in compete darkness, only the light form the storm gave them . Ash lit a match and inspected the
fuses.
"SHIT!
Fuck me up the ass with a big rubber dick! Now they're all blown…..OW FUCK!"
Ash quickly threw down the match and stuck his finger in his mouth.
"how
the hell will I get out of here?" It
was far to dark and with three floors to get back to Brock and Misty, it was
impossible. He looked back up at the
hole he made.
"hey
Brock, throw down your flashlight!"
"k, ready!?"
"Ready!"
"You sure!?"
"Yeah throw it down already!"
The
flashlight fell through the hole and right at Ash. He raised his hands ready to catch it. "I got it…..i got it…."
It slipped right through his fingers and cracked him in the head. He went ass over backwards and landed on his
face. .
From
above Brock and Misty could hear cursing and swearing. Brock sighed and looked at Misty. "he wasn't
ready."
Ash
shone the light up the hole. "Just stay there! I'll be up in a minute!"
Misty sighed. "But you always get lost!"
Ash laughed. "I do not get lost all the time, I merely investigate alternative
destinations."
"Yeah, and you not a total ass, but you develop a case of rectal-cranial
inversion!"
"Oh
yeah? Well you nag to much!"
Brock
corrected him. "She doesn't nag you, she's verbally repetitive."
Ash
gave them the finger "will you stop
with the goddamn politically correct shit!"
"You
started it!" Misty yelled.
"I
did not you two bit whore!"
Brock
corrected him again. "She's not a two
bit whore!"
Misty
looked up to him "Thank you Brock"
"She's
a low cost provider!"
Misty
punched him in the face. "And your not
a bad dancer, your just overly Caucasian!"
Brock rubbed his nose. "What's wrong with my dancing? The girls at the club
like my Brocko shuffle step dance move."
"You were drunk."
"I wasn't drunk……….I was chemically inconvenienced."
Pikachu
rubbed his temples. "pika………"
Ash
had had enough and left the squabble in search of a way out. "Twat…, now how do I get out of here?" His eyes landed on a door on the far wall of
the basement. "Shibby."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After
their fight Brock and Misty decided to get comfy and settle in for the
night. They ventured upstairs to see if
there was anybody home and if there were any bedrooms. After searching they found the place to be
totally empty but completely furnished.
Everything had an inch of dust on it.
Misty stuck out her tongue in disgust.
"it's
way to dusty, my allergies won't be able take this."
Brock
wiped off the mirror and fixed his hair. "place isn't that dusty."
Misty
walked over to Brock and held her clean finger tip in his face. She reached back and swiped it through the
air. She brought her finger back up to
Brocks face. resting on the tip was a ball of lint. "okay, so maybe it is dusty, but this just calls for SUPER
BROCK!" He whirled around, stopped and
revealed himself to be wearing a pink apron.
He had a bandanna on and brought out a vacuum cleaner from whereabouts
unknown. "WHO-HA!" He ran around the
room in his cleaning frenzy. Soon as
the cloud of smoke settled, Misty saw that the beds where clean, and made, the
dust was gone and the smell had vanished.
Misty inspected the room. "hmmmmm, very good Brock." She stepped onto the rug when suddenly a
blast of dust and dirt flew out from underneath it. She hacked and coughed as the room was once again covered in
filth. "*cough* you just swept
everything under the rug didn't you?"
Brock
twiddled his thumbs nervously. "nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn….yes..yes I did."
Suddenly
there was a loud crash from downstairs. "what the hell was that?!"
They ran out and slid down the banister.
Misty quickly jumped off, but Brock slammed his nuts into the decorative
metal sphere at the base. "UHHHH!!"
Misty
whipped her head around. "What was that noise!"
Brock's
face turned blue as he held onto his balls. "That…was…me…"
Misty
walked into the middle of the foyer and looked around. "I'm not talking about
you numnuts, the sound we both heard!"
Brock continued to roll on the ground in agony.
Misty
nervously scanned the open rooms and found nothing. She made her way back to the foyer and again found nothing. "this place is weird.." suddenly a hand wrapped around her head and
clasped onto her face. She tried to
scream but her cries were muffled. She
whirled around smacked her assailant in the face. A sickening thud resonated throughout the foyer as Ash crumpled
to the floor.
"I…wa?"
Ash
rubbed his face. "can't cha take a joke"
Misty released her breath. "you
scared me you prick!"
Ash
got up and walked over to Brock. "you okay bud"
Brock slowly got up clutching his sack.
"strong……like…….bull……" His eyes
rolled back in his head and fell onto the staircase.
A
cold wind blew past them, it made their hair stand up on end and shivers go
down their spine. They all listened as
the storm raged on outside their sanctuary.
Misty wrapped her arms around herself.
"this place gives me the willies……..I don't want to stay here." Ash
pointed out a window. "you'd rather go
out there!" A lightning bolt flashed
right outside the mansion which gave off a deafening boom. Misty jumped and latched onto Ash. "damn girl! You don't have to step on the
gas that fast!" Misty quickly let him
go.
"you
saying I'm easy!"
Brock
spread the two apart. "okay guys let's calm down, misty is not easy………..she's
horizontally accessible!"
Ash
and Misty stomped kicked Brock in the shins.
"will you shut the fuck up with all that politically correct shit!"
Brock
rubbed his ankles. "sorry……..wait………..do guys hear that?"
They
all strained to listen but at first Misty and Ash could only hear the sound of
rain pelting the roof above them. Ash
was about to leave when something caught his ear. It sounding like a wailing noise, he thought it was the wind, but
it was more ghostly. The moans grew
louder they all moved closer to one another.
Misty's lips trembled as she backed up into Ash and Brock. "what's that noise?!" she whispered. Soon after the wailing stopped. They all took a relieved breath when the
something struck the door.
*Clang!*
They
all grabbed onto each other and screamed in fear.
"WAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!"
The
front door blew open as leaves were swept into the foyer. Lightening struck and lit the area, showing
a glimpse at the horrible creature that stood before them.
"hey!…..it
the twerps!"
Ash held up the flashlight and shone it on the creature. "huh?!…..Meowth!!"
The
light sparkled off the charm adorning its head. "what are yous doing here?!"
Just
then two soggy people fell to the floor.
"Jessie and James!?" Ash yelled.
Team
Rocket closed the door behind them and strained the water out of their hair.
"stupid
storm, I'll get spilt ends for sure!"
Jessie looked up and for the first time saw the twerps. "what are you doing here!?"
Ash
pointed outside. "We're hiding from the storm……what about you."
Jessie
huffed. "as you can see kid it's not exactly walking weather out there!"
Jessie suddenly came to a odd realization.
"……..now's our chance to steal Pikachu!"
A large thunderbolt crashed outside the house.
"how dramatic!" James squealed.
They
were about to face off when Brock jumped in the way. "okay guys! Let's not do this!
It pissing buckets outside and we all need to wait out the storm. So let's make a truce for tonight
only!" James and Jessie seemed hesitant
at first but they didn't want to steal Pikachu and run back out into the
storm.
"this
isn't very Team Rocketish…..but okay…….for tonight only"
They all shook hands and glared at each other. There was an odd silence between them as
they had no idea of what to do next. Misty spoke up. "why don't we all go to the kitchen and see if there is anything
to eat."
The rumbling of Team Rockets stomachs drowned the constant
thunderclaps of the storm outside.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"they think they can just came into my
house……………………….my home………………my sanctuary………………..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They all made their way to the kitchen where Brock brought
out his gas grill and sandwiches. He
passed them around and turned the camping stove on high. They all moved close to it as the heat
penetrated their soggy clothes, and warmed their faces. They were quiet for the most part, until Ash
spoke up.
"so……..how are things?"
Again silence but soon Misty thought she would get the
ball rolling.
"okay does anybody have a story they could tell? I have one.
One day this man was driving down a back road when he ran over a
rooster. The man knew that since he was
close to a farm it had to belong to it.
So the man went to the farmhouse and told the farmer what had happened. 'I'm sorry sir, I ran over you rooster, I
wish to replace it for you.' The farmer
looked at him and then pointed at the barn.
He said. 'the chickens are in there…….fuck as many as you can.'".
They all slapped the table with fits of laughter.
Brock shushed everybody as he was getting ready to tell a
story of his own.
"okay, okay…..A man came home late at night and went to
his room. When he got there he found
his wife in bed with another man.
Completely pissed off, the man grabbed the man by his cock and dragged
him to his tool shed. The husband put
his cock in the vice and broke off the handle.
He rummaged around for a hacksaw while the naked guy was getting quite
afraid. The husband walked over holding
a saw, the naked guy said 'you aren't gonna cut me cock off?!' and the man laugh and handed him the saw.
'no….you are….i'm setting fire to the shed!'"
They all giggled and wiped their tears of laughter away.
James thought a moment and raised his hand.
"I have a sad story to tell."
They all stopped laughing and listened intently as James began to speak.
"when I was a lad my dad worked in a factory and I would
visit him often. One day a horrible
accident occurred and my father got his head cut off. So I put his head in a bag of ice and went to the hospital……they
said he was dead when he got there………..they said he suffocated in the
bag." They all giggled as James
continued. "and if that wasn't enough
bad news for one day, my brother phoned me that night and he told me that his
father had died as well………"
Pikachu fell off the table as the others grabbed their
sides from laughing so hard. James
became shocked as he saw them laugh at his story. "How dare you laugh of my
fathers death! It was horrible for me to lose my father at such a young age……"
They all uneasily rubbed their heads. "s.ss.sorry…..I though it was a joke"
James depressingly stared at the floor.
There was another odd silence between them. Ash then thought of another idea.
"okay how about we go around the table and ask one person
a very personal question that they have to tell."
They all agreed and played rock-scissor-paper to find out who would go first,
Misty won.
She looked around the table and eyes Brock. "okay, Brock, here's you question……..what
was your first sexual experience?"
He was taken aback at first but soon loosened up.
"hmmmmm..okay got it."
"yeah?" they all said
"I was 14"
"uh-huh"
"I was on a bus, asleep"
"yeah?" they said getting excited
"I woke up and some old dude was touching me"
They all fell off their chairs in stupidity. Ash got back in his chair. "um, lets forget about the game…….I gotta
take a crap." Ash got up to leave and
was closely followed by Misty and Jessie.
"where are you two going?" Brock asked.
"going to the little girls room okay!"
They all left leaving Brock, James and Meowth in the
kitchen alone. Brock rapped his fingers
on the table and stared at James.
"sooooo……..James……you and Jessie…….have you ever…you know?"
James stared at him confused.
"what?"
"have you ever…ya know?"
"what?"
"you know...have you?"
"what?!"
"you know"
"what!? I don't know, just say it man!"
"have you ever had sex?"
James looked at him in shock. "you don't beat around the bush do you!"
"well?"
"yes……I think so…..i'm not sure."
"what happened?"
"okay….I was there……..and so was she……..and so where our friends…'the
genitals'…all 6 of us were there."
"uh?…….oh, and none of you could remember.."
"no..no…..well I did, for a bit and then she made me block
it out….that's it! She's remembers and I'm not allowed."
Just then they heard someone scream from in the
hallway. They all rushed outside the
kitchen. "what!! what is it!!!!" Brock yelled.
They saw Misty with her back against the wall and she was
shaking like a leaf. Brock ran up and
grabbed her shoulders. "what
happened!" She pointed at the wall in
front of her. Brock turned to see that
there was something written on it in huge red letters.
"it says 'get out or pay'………………….did you write this?"
Misty punched him in the gut. "of course not you idiot!"
At that moment Ash walked up to them. "nothing feels better then a taking a huge
dump………..what is it guys?"
Misty grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt.
"did you write that!"
Ash blinked. "Write what?"
Misty pointed to the wall. "That writing over
there!……huh?!"
The wall was blank. The mysterious writings were
gone. "okay…….getting a little afraid
now.."
They turned as the heard another scream coming from the
lobby. James forced his way past them.
"that was Jessie!' he squealed.
They all ran down the corridor and gasped at what they
saw. Jessie was floating 10 feet above
the ground and looking quite befuddled.
"HELP!!"
They stood there dumbfounded. They ran underneath her and tried to figure out why she was
hanging in mid air. James strained his
eyes to look for a wire she might of gotten caught on. Then without warning she dropped form the
ceiling and right on top of them. They
laid in heap on the ground broken backwards and twisted in different
positions. Jessie slowly got off
followed and helped James and Brock off.
Ash and Misty were laying on each other, the old 69. James, Jessie and Brock couldn't help but laugh. As soon as misty realized where her face was
she jumped off him and landed on something squishy. James bent over to look. "I think your sitting on Meowth, I don't
think he can breath his arms are flailing wildly……oh wait never mind, he
stopped."
They jerked their heads up to see a basketball tumble down
the stair case. They all listened as
they could hear a voice coming from the top of the stairs. It sounded almost like a child's.
"somebody play with me…."
Everyone huddled together in fear, but Brock picked up the
ball and looked at it, then back up the stairs.
"you want some of dis shit?"
He then demonstrated his abilities by dribbling the ball through his legs.
"Huh? Huh? You wanna play? You wanna play dis shit?"
He dribbled the ball all over the lobby.
"you ain't got notin on me bitch!"
He ran to one corner of the room and sprinted towards the
center.
"here's some Vince Carter shit right here!"
He leapt into the air and dramatically reached out and
slammed the ball threw the chandelier above them.
"BOOYA! Dats wot
I'm talkin bout!" As Brock 'raised the
roof' and did 'the running man' he showed team rocket why he was called 'overly
Caucasian'.
James shook his head in disgust. "dis some fucked up shit
right here."
Ash pointed to the walls.
"it's about to get more fucked….."
They gasped as they saw the walls spurt out a red sticky
fluid. Misty rubbed the gunk between
her fingers and sniffed them.
"it's……….spaghetti sauce……..oregano………"
The sauce slid down the walls and collected on the floor. Ash looked at team Rocket.
"uhhhh, are we supposed to be scared right now?"
Jessie smelled the air.
"This place smells like an Italian restaurant"
The house shook as loud evil laughter filled the air.
"BWAAHAHAHAHAHAH!!"
They all scattered around the foyer and grabbed onto the surrounding
furniture. Misty held onto Togepi in
fear. "I don't want to die! It's not
fair!"
Ash looked down at her, concerned.
"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough, it takes up a lot of your
time. What do you get at the end of
it? DEATH! What's that a bonus?! I
think the life cycle is all backwards.
You should die first; get it out of the way. Then you go live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're to young, go collect all your
pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first
day. You work forty years until you're
young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You drink alcohol; you party, and get ready for high school. You go to primary school, you become a kid,
you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back
into the womb, you spend your last 9 months floating with luxuries like central
heating, spa and room service on tap.
Then you finish off as an orgasm! That's the way it should be!"
Suddenly the furniture was lifted off the floor and they
circled around the room with incredible speed.
Misty stared wide-eyed in fear. "okay…I need an old priest
and a young priest……."
Brock dove out of the way, nearly missing a table slamming
into him.
"what's going on!"
Misty whapped him. "can't you see! It's a poltergeist!"
Brock gasped in shock. "OH NO! Not a
poltergeist!………..what's a poltergeist?"
Misty pointed to where James was being chased by a
cabinet.
"The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ
compels you! EHEHEHEOOOO!"
Jessie grabbed Meowth and ran to the kitchen hallway, she
turned to the frightened onlookers. "Let's make like a tree and get the hell
out of here!"
They all followed her leaving the chaos behind. As they ran down the endless maze of
corridors after several minutes Ash noticed that they were missing a few
people.
"Where's Brock and Jessie...and James……..and Meowth……and Pikachu?" Misty looked all around her but found no
trace of them.
"oh great, now we'll have to look for them, let's split up
and meet back at the kitchen."
Ash nodded and hugged Misty tightly. He pulled her off and gazed into her
eyes. She was a little suspicious.
"what was that for?"
He brushed a strand of hair of her face. "in case we never see each other again…."
She smiled and ran off down the hall, with a 'kill me'
sign hanging off her back.
************
Brock and James were misdirected and ended walking down an
unlit hallway. They felt their way by
feeling the walls as they walked. James
was getting more spooked.
"This is like walking down a dark alley in the wrong side of town, I have the
feeling like someone's going to jump us."
Brock continued to feel his way through the dark.
"Hey I figured out a way to get muggers to leave you
alone."
"oh yeah?"
"yeah, muggers won't attack you if they think your crazy,
then they think they'll have to explain what their doing."
"uh-huh"
"so all you have to is look crazy, if you're walking down the street and you
have like ten dollars on you or something, the first thing I do is I wet my
pants…..so I get a big ol'stain…or I push a baby carriage down the street and
put garbage in it."
"uh-huh, anything less involved?"
"well the moment you are aware your being robbed…throw up
on your money. I got a lot of neat
solutions like that, take the overpopulation issue."
"yeah?"
"it's simple, death penalties for parking violations."
"oh……….. right"
They continued to work their way down the corridor in the
dark
***************
"and now the final stage of my
plan…BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!Chahahca*cough* CHA *cough*horw *HACK* rggggggghhh
PHFFFFFTOOO! *Cough* I'm okay…"
***************
Jessie found her way back to the foyer. She circled the room twice to see if she
could find anybody, but it seemed she was alone. A cold chilling breeze blew through the room as Jessie slowly
crept to the stair case. Then suddenly
to her surprise she heard a voice coming from the top of the stairs. ".James?……..Meowth?………twerps?…..you there?"
Then right in front of her eyes a strange being rose in
front of her. It was huge, deathly pale
and was covered in a long flowing cloak.
It seemed to be raised slightly off the floor as it slowly floated down the
stairs.
Petrified, all Jessie could do was piss herself. "h….help…"
The mysterious figure laughed manically and reared back
its head showing a skull.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!…UH?"
Then out of nowhere its cloak got caught on the rail. "waa?
Oh come on!"
It tugged on it to try and get it lose but instead lost
its footing and tumbled down the stairs.
The creature landed in a pile of rags and slightly stirred grabbing its
head.
From out of all the hallways, the rest of Team Rocket and
our heroes ran out. They stopped
suddenly and stared at the ominous creature lying on the floor. The poltergeist tired to get up but before
it could Brock ran over to it pointed at it and waving his fist. "lets smoke his ass!"
The others followed Brock as they ganged up on the
creature. Brock had it in a full
nelson, Misty was clinging onto its leg and biting it, Ash repeatedly kicked
the poltergeist in the junk and James and Jessie went agro on it.
After 5 minutes
they back up and noticed the rags were all torn off. They gasped as they saw that it wasn't a ghost but a man in a
disguise. Brock propped the mysterious
man up and yanked off the skeleton mask.
They gasped as they saw that the person was…
"PROFFESSOR OAK!" they all screamed.
"why did you kids have to come here!"
Misty rubbed her head dumbfounded. "There's something very Scooby-doo
about this……"
Brock released him and helped him up. "this is my mansion and after 12 years I've
come back to do some spring cleaning and have a little vacation. When you guys showed up you ruined all my
plans."
Brock rejoined the group. "But why?"
"because I'm the worlds leading pokemon expert, if people thought I was talking
time off they would accuse me of not being dedicated…..besides I have that
fuck-up Tracey watching the lab for me."
Misty stared in disbelief. "but why go through so much trouble?"
"*sigh*…I didn't want you kids to think I was lazy so I tried to trick you in
leaving by scaring you off."
Brock pointed at the walls. "you mean you did the sauce
spewing out the walls?"
"yes…"
"and the flying furniture?"
"yes…"
"And Jessie hanging off the chandelier?"
"yes.."
"and the basketball?"
"yes…"
"and the mysterious voices?"
"yes.."
"and the writing on the wall?"
"….ye….wait…no I didn't write on any walls."
They all raised their brows and looked at each other
strangely.
Misty looked down at Togepi. "but if you didn't do
it….then who did?"
"HAHAHAHAHAH!!!"
They all jerked heads back to Ash. He was laughing menacingly with a strange
blue aura all around him. "you
fools! I am the poltergeist that rules this mansion…..and it was me who wrote
on the wall!"
They all laughed at the ghost and rolled their eyes.
"hmmm? What?!"
Brock pointed at him mockingly. "you fucking amateur!
Writing on walls?! Shit! A fucking 2 year old can do that shit! OooOOooh
I'm like so fucking scared! "
Misty shoved Prof. Oak in his face. "you see this guy, he
ain't even dead and he spooked us worse n'you!"
The poltergeist threw up his hands. "hey hey! Ease up off my back ho!"
"what did you call me!"
"to quote Sayuri : Why don't you dip yourself in flour
and make a skank biscuit!"
Misty had steam pouring out her ears, as she was 2 seconds from losing it.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY!?!!"
"I said… WHY don't YOU DIP youself IN flour and..oh shit."
With out warning Misty reached back and hurled Togepi at the 'Ghost'
Ash. It was nearly able to dodge the
giggling egg pokemon as it smash through a boarded up window. Misty gasped as she realized what she just
did. They watched as the wooden planks
fell off, rays of sunlight shone in and landed on the poltergeist.
"ooh, dat ain't good.."
Almost instantaneously the poltergeist burst into flames
and turned into a pile of dust on the floor.
James walked up and poked the remains. "that was unexpected….."
Just then, the floor underneath him swung open and threw
him into a wall. They all gasped as
they saw the real Ash climb out of the secret door. He stood up and brushed himself off. He looked over at Brock and Misty and saw that Team Rocket was
there as well. "what are you guys doing
here? Damn this place was bigger then I thought…"
They mouths hung open as Misty clenched her fists. "AAHA!! I knew you would get lost ya
retard!"
"so I took a detour…..why is Prof. Oak here?"
Brock excitedly pointed out the window. "Never mind that shit, the storms over!"
They all cheered happily and hugged each other. Misty grabbed her bag and ran toward the
door, she then turned her head to the others.
"Lets get the hell out of here!"
As she was running she didn't' see the gap in the
floorboards as her shoe caught on the edge.
She pitched forward and shot her hands out to absorb the impact. Unfortunately she accidentally swiped Ash's
crotch. He turned beat red, but Misty
was unaware of it. Ash ran past Misty
and the others. "uh…I have to go to the
bathroom." He yelled, while desperately
trying to hide the bulge in his pants.
Brock, Misty, Pikachu and Team rocket all stepped out into
the sun filled air and soak in the warmth.
Jessie and Meowth walked over to their soaking wet jeep. Misty searched for Togepi, James walked over
to Brock and tapped him on the back.
"hey Brock?"
"yeah?"
"I'm gonna be holding a party at my parents mansion next week, you seem like an
okay guy…would you like to come?"
"sure, what kind of party is it?"
"oh…there'll be barbeque with hotdogs and burgers and chicken and shagging…and
more burgers and swimming and shagging, people swapping partners….and everyone
will be shagging every one else and they're be more burgers and pork ribs….and
lot more shagging going on."
Brock's eyes went wide.
"Christ! What should I wear?"
"hmm? Oh….wear what ever you want…… looks like it'll just
be the two of us."
"………..I'll pass"
Misty ran over to Brock carrying a slightly dazed
Togepi. "will you get Ash so we can
leave all ready."
"okay."
***********
inside the mansion Brock knocked on the door to the
bathroom. He didn't hear anything, so
he picked the lock and pushed the door open.
"Ash?….ASH! what are you doing?!"
Ash was in the corner of the room with his pants down and
a kleenex in his hand. He quickly
turned to Brock trying to cover himself up.
"What! I wasn't doing anything!"
Brock angrily pointed his finger.
"Now listen up ya little bastard! Now you quit with all
your wanking or you'll go bloody blind! That's what happens when you whack-off
to much , you go blind! Is that what you want? To go blind! Now stop with you
wanking or you'll go freaking blind!"
"………um………….I'm over here Brock……"
"……uh?……"
"……kinda solves the mystery of why you have no eyes……."
"I HAVE FUCKING EYES!!"
~~~~~~~~ ^_^~~~~~~~~
Authors notes: Well that was my second parody, and
if you like that then please read "Dude, where's my hat?". I have 1 more story to do out of two
possible ideas, either, "There's something about Misty" or "JuASHic Park" You can vote to see which one I write. These 3 Fics will make up my 'Parodi-ce
Theater'. All Fics will be imported to
this chaptered Fic.
Also I put a view small hints and lines from my upcoming
Fic 'road trip-crossing the Atlantic'.
One of the biggest was `Misted Dreamz' aka 'Sayuri' and that 'skank'
line. It's a small preview, put it just
shows you what you can expect.
There was some more vulgar comedy in this one, "dude.
Where's my hat?" is a bit lighter and there's not much swearing. But for the stuff I wanted to put in here,
say… Ash getting caught jacking off, was most defiantly NC-17. but if you think about it, its all harmless
fun.
So if some way this has offended you…..well……sorry but
hey, it was funny wasn't it…….I hope so……..*cough*
Neongene
Anime lover, Fanfic writer, chronic masturbator…..whoops…..I
mean …collector of very small rocks….*cough*
