"The Devil You Know"
I don't own any of the familiar ER characters (Chen, Malucci, Michael) I have fabricated things from Dave's past. Therefore, I do own Emma Halliday and her daughter Isla. This is set sometime during or just after series 7.
***** - denotes a change in time/place - either to the past or to focus on Emma and not on Chen/Malucci.
"You really believe we're that different?"
"Yeah, I do,"
She answered, continuing on down the corridor.
"We aren't."
She turned and faced him, expecting to see an expression almost the polar opposite of what she saw.
"Oh no?"
Chen crossed her arms, faintly annoyed at being involved in yet another pointless argument with him. It was getting old now. She'd said no - how many more times would she have to say it?
"No,"
"Go on then, explain yourself,"
She challenged when he paused.
"For a start we both have children we never see,"
"Huh?"
She was slightly startled - not only by the mention of Michael but also by the context of the sentence itself. He had a child? How? What??
"You have Michael, who is obviously adopted and you never see, and I've got Isla,"
"Excuse me?"
"It's a long story,"
"Is anything ever simple with you?"
"I could say the same thing about you,"
She backed down a little.
"So how old is she?"
"Isla? Nearly 5,"
Chen did a quick mental calculation.
"She was born during your time in Grenada."
"Yes,"
"Is that why it's a long story?"
Chen sighed. She could only imagine the details. She didn't want to know.
"Yes,"
He answered sheepishly, looking to the floor ashamed.
"Enough said,"
******
"How do I know it's even mine?"
He demanded angrily. The blonde backed down, shocked.
"Why would I lie to you?"
She was on the verge of tears. She looked down at her stomach and back at him, pain filling her deep blue eyes.
"I don't remember..."
He didn't need to finish the sentence. He was calling her a liar. Of all the people he was calling her a liar.
"Let's just say you wouldn't,"
She practically yelled it at him, deeply hurt, bitterly angry. This child was his and she'd make him pay for it, whether he remembered conception or not. She wasn't a slut.
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying you were too damned high to remember anything. I don't sleep around. It has to be yours,"
She stood her ground. She'd get his support one way or another.
"What do you want from me then?"
"I just want support, that's all, I don't have anyone else,"
A sad fact in itself, but brutally true.
"Are you going to keep it?"
He spat the words like they were poison. She smiled gently, seeing the bitterness in his expression at the very thought. Damn, this would just teach him wouldn't it?
"Yes,"
"You can't! Emma, you're halfway through college - this'll ruin your life,"
"What you mean is you can't face responsibility. You couldn't care less about me, what you mean is it'd ruin your promising medical career,"
Her words hit home as they were supposed to. She knew he was a coward. She knew she was taking a risk. But she was willing to anyway. She couldn't kill a child just because it had the wrong father. She couldn't bring herself to do it.
"Emma..."
She turned and walked away from him then, disgusted. His last word lingered in the air behind her.
******
"That doesn't make us similar,"
Chens words brought him back from his daydream.
"Maybe not, but I know more than you think,"
"Why don't you see her?"
Chen asked, morbidly fascinated.
"Her mother and I...we fell out a long time ago,"
"Before she was born?"
"Yes,"
"You're a bastard you know that?"
She didn't need to say it but she wasn't the first. He knew it but he couldn't change it.
******
"You have a daughter,"
Emma's voice on the other end of the phone sounded harsh. It had been months since he'd seen her.
"What?"
"She had to be born eventually, she wasn't going to stay a fetus forever you know,"
"I know,"
"She's called Isla, in case you care,"
"Emma, I do care,"
He pleaded, but he could tell the blonde wasn't listening. It was too late and inside he knew that.
"Just stay away from us. We don't need you now,"
His actions were unforgivable, and in that moment, knowing he'd never see his own daughter, he felt it more than ever. How could he have done that to her?
******
"It's not really the same thing is it?"
Chen threw the rhetorical question into the mix.
"Well...."
"I gave up Michael for *his* own good, you gave Isla up for *your* own good,"
"I didn't....."
"You weren't around when she was born were you?"
Chen accused, her brown eyes staring straight at him.
"Neither was Frank,"
He fired back. She reeled at the mention of Supernurse.
"You walked away from her. You could have stayed couldn't you?"
"Yes, but..."
"Don't say it...It's a fear thing. Men are all the same,"
Chen couldn't help distrusting the opposite sex. She'd been betrayed once and she didn't think she'd ever forgive it.
"I couldn't have kept Michael. I loved my son but I couldn't have given him the life he deserved,"
"I couldn't have stayed...I couldn't have been a father to her...I'm far too screwed up to take care of a kid,"
"Excuses, excuses,"
Chen shook her head. He stumbled over his words. He came across as an overgrown child. She disapproved, that much was blatantly obvious.
"If you don't mind, I've got work to do,"
She flicked her hair and turned away, her chin held high. She had a superiority complex and that hurt him. He knew she wondered about Michael. He
wondered about his daughter too. He did care, no matter what Emma thought of him. Emma would be 23 now. 23 with a 5 year old. It wasn't right. He felt
the guilt he so often kept buried rear it's ugly head again.
I don't own any of the familiar ER characters (Chen, Malucci, Michael) I have fabricated things from Dave's past. Therefore, I do own Emma Halliday and her daughter Isla. This is set sometime during or just after series 7.
***** - denotes a change in time/place - either to the past or to focus on Emma and not on Chen/Malucci.
"You really believe we're that different?"
"Yeah, I do,"
She answered, continuing on down the corridor.
"We aren't."
She turned and faced him, expecting to see an expression almost the polar opposite of what she saw.
"Oh no?"
Chen crossed her arms, faintly annoyed at being involved in yet another pointless argument with him. It was getting old now. She'd said no - how many more times would she have to say it?
"No,"
"Go on then, explain yourself,"
She challenged when he paused.
"For a start we both have children we never see,"
"Huh?"
She was slightly startled - not only by the mention of Michael but also by the context of the sentence itself. He had a child? How? What??
"You have Michael, who is obviously adopted and you never see, and I've got Isla,"
"Excuse me?"
"It's a long story,"
"Is anything ever simple with you?"
"I could say the same thing about you,"
She backed down a little.
"So how old is she?"
"Isla? Nearly 5,"
Chen did a quick mental calculation.
"She was born during your time in Grenada."
"Yes,"
"Is that why it's a long story?"
Chen sighed. She could only imagine the details. She didn't want to know.
"Yes,"
He answered sheepishly, looking to the floor ashamed.
"Enough said,"
******
"How do I know it's even mine?"
He demanded angrily. The blonde backed down, shocked.
"Why would I lie to you?"
She was on the verge of tears. She looked down at her stomach and back at him, pain filling her deep blue eyes.
"I don't remember..."
He didn't need to finish the sentence. He was calling her a liar. Of all the people he was calling her a liar.
"Let's just say you wouldn't,"
She practically yelled it at him, deeply hurt, bitterly angry. This child was his and she'd make him pay for it, whether he remembered conception or not. She wasn't a slut.
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying you were too damned high to remember anything. I don't sleep around. It has to be yours,"
She stood her ground. She'd get his support one way or another.
"What do you want from me then?"
"I just want support, that's all, I don't have anyone else,"
A sad fact in itself, but brutally true.
"Are you going to keep it?"
He spat the words like they were poison. She smiled gently, seeing the bitterness in his expression at the very thought. Damn, this would just teach him wouldn't it?
"Yes,"
"You can't! Emma, you're halfway through college - this'll ruin your life,"
"What you mean is you can't face responsibility. You couldn't care less about me, what you mean is it'd ruin your promising medical career,"
Her words hit home as they were supposed to. She knew he was a coward. She knew she was taking a risk. But she was willing to anyway. She couldn't kill a child just because it had the wrong father. She couldn't bring herself to do it.
"Emma..."
She turned and walked away from him then, disgusted. His last word lingered in the air behind her.
******
"That doesn't make us similar,"
Chens words brought him back from his daydream.
"Maybe not, but I know more than you think,"
"Why don't you see her?"
Chen asked, morbidly fascinated.
"Her mother and I...we fell out a long time ago,"
"Before she was born?"
"Yes,"
"You're a bastard you know that?"
She didn't need to say it but she wasn't the first. He knew it but he couldn't change it.
******
"You have a daughter,"
Emma's voice on the other end of the phone sounded harsh. It had been months since he'd seen her.
"What?"
"She had to be born eventually, she wasn't going to stay a fetus forever you know,"
"I know,"
"She's called Isla, in case you care,"
"Emma, I do care,"
He pleaded, but he could tell the blonde wasn't listening. It was too late and inside he knew that.
"Just stay away from us. We don't need you now,"
His actions were unforgivable, and in that moment, knowing he'd never see his own daughter, he felt it more than ever. How could he have done that to her?
******
"It's not really the same thing is it?"
Chen threw the rhetorical question into the mix.
"Well...."
"I gave up Michael for *his* own good, you gave Isla up for *your* own good,"
"I didn't....."
"You weren't around when she was born were you?"
Chen accused, her brown eyes staring straight at him.
"Neither was Frank,"
He fired back. She reeled at the mention of Supernurse.
"You walked away from her. You could have stayed couldn't you?"
"Yes, but..."
"Don't say it...It's a fear thing. Men are all the same,"
Chen couldn't help distrusting the opposite sex. She'd been betrayed once and she didn't think she'd ever forgive it.
"I couldn't have kept Michael. I loved my son but I couldn't have given him the life he deserved,"
"I couldn't have stayed...I couldn't have been a father to her...I'm far too screwed up to take care of a kid,"
"Excuses, excuses,"
Chen shook her head. He stumbled over his words. He came across as an overgrown child. She disapproved, that much was blatantly obvious.
"If you don't mind, I've got work to do,"
She flicked her hair and turned away, her chin held high. She had a superiority complex and that hurt him. He knew she wondered about Michael. He
wondered about his daughter too. He did care, no matter what Emma thought of him. Emma would be 23 now. 23 with a 5 year old. It wasn't right. He felt
the guilt he so often kept buried rear it's ugly head again.