Blah blah, Kiss kiss, part7
by pari106
pari106@hotmail.com
http://www.geocities.com/pari106/damain.html
Code: M/Z; Rating: PG-13; Disclaimer: Cameron…Eglee…Fox…none of this is mine, really.
'I love you…'
'I love you…'
The words echoed in Zack's mind, over and over again, later, after the fire had died down to mere embers
and Max was sleeping nearby, huddled in the blankets they'd used to cover themselves. They hadn't
bothered to dress before drifting off to sleep in one another's arms.
Zack didn't bother to dress now. He gently untangled Max's legs from his, easing her head off of his chest
and onto the soft rug beneath them. Then he slipped out from under the covers, grabbing some firewood
from a nearby basket and getting the fire going once again.
'I love you…I love you…'
Zack no longer bothered to pretend that the shake in his hand came from the cold. He was kneeling there,
in front of the fireplace, stirring the now blossoming fire inside. Then he felt a pair of dark brown eyes on
him, and he stilled.
"You fell asleep," he said, a statement, not a question. He didn't even have to turn and look at Max to
know that she was now awake and watching him. Max smiled, softly.
"Yeah. Guess I was tired." Her tone was slightly teasing, very careful. What happened earlier had been
too wonderful for her to feel awkward, but it was also too new for Max to feel exactly comfortable. She
looked to Zack for some clue as to what they would do next.
And Zack looked back at her. Then he replaced the fire poker back in its holder, and returned to their little
pallet. Max tried to keep her gaze from travelling the length of him, watching the firelight trace his
muscles as he moved, but she couldn't quite help herself, so she concentrated on scooting further into the
covers, making room for Zack when he was back at her side.
They were quiet for a moment. Then Zack pulled her into his arms; into a gentle, comforting embrace.
They wrapped their arms around each other, and he rested his chin against the top of her head, and both of
them just wondered about what to say and do next.
Then Zack made a little confession.
"I thought you might be pretending." Max looked up at him in confusion, so he explained, "To sleep. So
you could hide from me."
"Why would I hide from you?" Max asked, but she knew what he meant. She reached up and traced his
jaw with one finger. He always seemed to be in a constant state of tension; always at the alert. His jaw
was tensed now, as if he were facing this "morning after" with her as he would face a battle. Perhaps he
was. That was Zack, after all. And Max loved him for what he was.
He was so strong. That strength was there in the shape of him, and in the way he carried himself. But there
was that same old vulnerability there, as well, in the way he didn't quite look at her, and in the tone of his
voice. And Max loved him even more for that.
"I don't want to hide from you, Zack," she told him, quietly.
Then she drew her hand away, suddenly becoming a bit nervous.
"Should I?" she asked.
Zack was just staring at her again, with those intense, unreadable eyes of his. Max felt like squirming
beneath that gaze.
But then Zack smiled, mimicking Max's previous gesture by tracing her chin with one of his fingers. His
expression was relaxed, but his eyes were dead serious as he spoke to her.
"You don't have to hide from me, Maxie."
Max returned his gaze without response, but her heart began to beat faster. Even after having spent the
evening in his arms, Zack's touch made Max's pulse race like she'd never felt his hands on her skin before.
And his words were meant to be comforting, but they were so similar to the ones Logan had spoken to her,
only that morning, that it disturbed Max, giving her an odd sense of foreboding for some reason.
But then Zack was talking again, and Max shrugged the feeling away.
"Did you mean it?" he asked.
He didn't have to specify what he meant – Max knew. She licked her lips, nervously.
"Do you have to ask?"
Zack didn't answer for a moment, then he turned to look at the fire, loosening their embrace just a little.
"I think I do," he told her. "We grew up like brother and sister, Max." There wasn't any of the disgust in
Zack's voice, that Max had once feared. Just the confusion, but at the same time, acceptance, that Max
herself felt about the situation. "Now we….Now you say that you love me."
"I don't think of you the way a sister thinks about her brother, Zack," Max told him, taking one of his
hands in one of her own. Then, quieter: "Maybe I never did."
"Me neither," he said, and Zack sensed Max's surprise, so he shrugged in response, though he had to smile.
"There was just always something…different about you."
Finally, Max smiled, too.
"You, too."
But Zack knew what he had to say before he could allow himself to slip into the intimate moment that had
found them yet again.
"That doesn't necessarily mean that you're in love with me, Max," he told her, trying to sound as though he
knew what he was talking about, though to his own ears, Zack sounded the same as he felt. Anything but
sure about anything.
Max thought about that. The words and his tone. It would be all too easy to let them discourage her, and in
a way she was discouraged. For a moment there, it seemed as though Zack were feeling exactly the same
sort of glow that she was in the wake of their lovemaking. Of their discovery of one another. But maybe…
Max shook her head. It didn't matter. She told herself it didn't matter. She'd known there weren't any
guarantees where Zack was concerned. Whether or not they'd made love, or even if they would again. She
couldn't let that stand in the way of her being honest with Zack. It wouldn't change the way she felt about
him, so why let it change the course of action she'd chosen to pursue?
Max raised her chin, just a little, without realizing it. A physical sign of her determination.
"It doesn't have to mean anything, if you don't want it to, Zack," she said, trying not to sound as
discomforted by the thought as she felt. And just to prove it, she held onto him tighter. "But they're my
words," she said, firmly. "And I meant them. I'm not taking them back. I know how I feel. I've known
for a long time. I told you I don't want to hide from you anymore, Zack. So I won't."
She was staring into the fire, now, as well.
"I hope you can accept that," she said earnestly.
After a moment, Zack looked over at her. He sighed, not being able to resist that little lift of her chin, or
the vulnerability behind it.
"I didn't say I didn't want you to love me, Max. I just don't want the words if they're empty." Zack forced
himself not to flinch away from Max's gaze when she returned it to him. They'd already bared their bodies
and their souls to one another. So why hide the truth? He'd already told Max that she didn't have to hide
from him. So how could he hide from her? Max just stared up at him, afraid to move or speak and thereby
break the spell that seemed to be weaving around them again. Hoping she was hearing what she thought
she was.
"It would hurt too much to let myself hope, and then find out you said what you did and didn't mean it."
'Oh, Zack…'
Max smiled.
"Zack…"
"I can understand, Max, if you didn't. You were confused. And we were both pretty caught up in the
moment. You're upset about leaving, and I…"
Suddenly, Max huffed, breaking right into Zack's ramblings. He looked at her with some surprise, even as
her smile faded into a frustrated scowl.
"Listen, just what are you trying to say?"
"What?"
Max felt tears prick at the back of her eyes, but she tried to ignore them.
"What is this all about, Zack? Are you trying to say you're having regrets, or…"
"No!" Zack told her, immediately. And his sincerity bolstered her, somewhat, but it also confused her.
"Then what? What do you want? Because I can't figure out whether you're saying that it's okay that I'm
in love with you…" Zack's eyes flickered, just a bit, with emotion as he heard Max say the words again,
and seeing that reaction softened Max's voice, deflated her ire somewhat. "Because I do love you, Zack."
Now that she knew she was allowed to say it, Max actually felt so much better when she did.
"I love you," she said again.
"Max…"
"Are you telling me it's okay, or that it isn't?"
Zack sighed again. Max had pulled away, and now he reached over, running his fingertips down one
shoulder that had escaped the blankets Max had pulled up around herself. They both shivered at the
contact.
"I'm just trying to give you the chance to make a choice," he said.
"I thought I'd already made that choice when I told I chose to tell you, Zack."
Zack just watched her a moment and they sat there in silence. They moved into an embrace once more, and
somehow Zack's lips found their way to hers. And after the soft kiss, Zack found himself staring into
Max's eyes with a combination of awe and dawning belief.
"You do, don't you?" He asked. "You really mean it."
Max wove her arms around Zack's neck, and his hands went to her waist in response. The blankets fell
down around them and Zack's gaze became heated at the sight of Max's naked body, visible before him
once again.
"I do," she told him.
"No regrets?"
"Nope. You?"
Zack would have laughed, but that would have seemed irreverent somehow.
So he smiled instead.
"Hell no." Max smiled, too. But their smiles slowly faded. "I've waited for this ever since we hooked up
again," he told her.
"Really?"
This time Zack did laugh.
"Couldn't you tell? Max…I feel like I've been in love with you my whole life."
'…I feel like I…'
What was that?
"Wha…What?" That was all Max could manage, breathlessly. Zack was still grinning, and he twisted a
strand of Max's hair around his fingers.
"Sorry. Guess, I haven't told you that yet."
"No, you haven't." Max was just staring at him, awe and joy and this wild exhilaration filling her all at the
same time. But she was too shocked to speak, and too moved to do more than fight the sudden moisture
that filled her eyes.
"I love you, Max," Zack told her now.
"Even when we were kids, I felt closer to you than to any of the others. After the escape, I felt lost because
we weren't together. Then, when I found you again… I went looking for the friend and the sister I left in
Wyoming, but I found this wild, beautiful woman instead. And I fell in love."
Those sneaky little smiled creeped back up onto both their faces. "I always thought about you," Max
confessed. "Every day since the escape. I wondered what happened to you. What I'd do if I could find
you again." Max raised an eyebrow. "Imagine my surprise when I figured out that answer."
She kissed him. Their hands started to travel.
"This is impossible," Zack was mumbling.
"Why?" Max asked.
"All this time…"
Zack looked back into her eyes, pulling back.
"Max…if you've loved me all this time, why didn't you go with me? All this time, why did you stay in
Seattle when I asked you not to?"
Max sighed, taking Zack's face into her hands. "Staying in Seattle wasn't about not loving you, Zack," she
tried to explain. "It was about me. Seattle is my home. It…"
And then it hit her. Max realized what she was saying and suddenly stopped.
"I…I mean…"
Zack saw the look on her face, and leaned over, stopping her words with a kiss.
"It's okay. It'll be okay, Max."
Max nodded, but her throat had become thick.
"We had to leave, Maxie."
"I know. It's just…habit, I guess."
Thinking about Original and the gang. Worrying about…
Max tried to push the thought away, but didn't succeed fast enough, apparently, to keep Zack from sensing
her thoughts.
"And Logan?" He asked suddenly, very still. Max didn't like the edge in his voice. "Is he habit, too?"
Max sighed. She didn't know how she could explain Logan to Zack.
"Logan and I are friends, Zack," she told him.
"You could have been more."
"Yeah," Max admitted. "If I weren't in love with you. But I just wasn't made that way. I love you, Zack."
"But you're still thinking about him, aren't you? Even now, you're thinking about Logan."
Zack's voice was angry, but also hurt, and Max supposed he had a right to be. She hadn't meant to let her
concerns for Logan interrupt her time with Zack. It wasn't like she thought about him constantly,
especially not while she was with Zack – she didn't love Logan that way. But he was still important to her,
and she couldn't just forget him altogether.
Still, the last thing she wanted was to hurt Zack.
"I'm just worried," she told him. "There's something going one with him, I just know it."
Max sighed, looking down at her hands.
She couldn't explain her friendship with Logan just yet. Not while she and Zack were still trying to explain
their own relationship. And she tried to tell him so.
"Zack, I can't…"
But Zack misunderstood. That's ass she said before his intense gaze was upon her again, this time sharp
and angry. A little surprised, and also afraid.
"Bullshit," he said.
"What?"
"The hell you can't leave. After what just…you're telling me you want to stay? After all this?"
Zack looked furious. All Max could think was 'What?' Then she got it.
'Oh.' Oh, no….no, no, no, no. That wasn't what she'd meant.
"Zack, I di…"
But Zack didn't let her finish. She saw him move before she realized why. With those super fast reflexes
of theirs, he was just a blur. She thought maybe he was moving away from her, but suddenly his lips were
on hers and she was lying beneath him.
She didn't know if Zack were just tired of arguing, or if he was afraid to listen to more of what Max might
say. Maybe he was just being territorial – Max didn't know. But they'd come too far to let a little
misunderstanding tear them apart now, so soon. So Max stopped wondering about the 'why', and just gave
herself up to Zack's kisses. She could explain herself later. She and Zack would have plenty of 'later'
now.
Before they could go further than kissing and touching, Zack stopped, capturing Max's eyes with his own.
His features were less severe now that he was holding her, that she was kissing him back with a mutual
passion that should have seemed contradictory, considering the fact that she seemed ready to go back to
Seattle again, and leave this new, wonderful something they'd found together. Zack's jaw was still set and
his eyes were still full of emotion.
He couldn't let her leave him. Not now. Not if she meant what she said about loving him. She'd said that
she meant it and that she wouldn't take it back. And until she did, Zack couldn't let her go. It would have
been hard before, but now…now that he'd let himself believe…
What the hell did Logan have over her anyhow? He didn't have the history with her that Zack did. He
wasn't her CO, her family. He wasn't in love with her like Zack was. He didn't make her feel like this
when she was in his arms, did he? He couldn't, or else she wouldn't be with Zack now, would she?
"I'm not letting you leave me now, Maxie," he told her between kisses, which were wild now, not fleeting
between hot and gentle like they had been when they'd made love before. He was kissing her now like he
was afraid it was the last time.
And Max wanted to comfort him. She held him, and met his kisses silently, even when he was a bit too
rough. But she was also tired of them playing this little game. Each of them getting spooked and lashing
out at the other, whether it was with words or accusations or fiery kisses.
"You belong with me, Max," he was whispering in her ear. Max shivered. The way Zack said them, the
words should have been 'You belong *to* me.' And there was something primitively satisfying about
being claimed by a mate that shook Max. Something true about the statement. Her heart was Zack's now.
But her mind was still very much her own. And she didn't like the insinuation that she did anything, went
anywhere, strictly because of someone else – be that someone Logan or Zack. That insinuation needled at
her, even through the haze of love and desire that had fallen over them.
With a movement, from her position on her back, Max used her X5 strength to flip the both of them over,
so that she landed on top of Zack, with him lying under her, looking up at her in surprise.
"And what about you, Zack?" she asked, dead serious. "Where do you belong?"
She looked into his eyes, searching. He obviously needed some sort of reassurance that she meant to be
with him. But for her to give him that, Max needed some sort of reassurance that he meant to be with her.
He said he loved her. That he didn't want her to leave. But if all he ever did, himself, was leave, what did
that mean lay ahead for them? A life of these little, stolen moments? Moving from one strange town, to
another, seeing Zack only when it was convenient with his busy schedule as CO? Waiting for him to
breeze in between meetings with the other X5s? If he didn't believe in staying in one place long enough to
belong, how did he feel about staying with one person, even one that he claimed to love so much?
"Where do you belong, Zack?" she asked again. "Because you're right, I belong with you. I want to be
with you. As long as you want that, too, there's nothing you have to worry about," she told him.
Zack didn't answer, but he did reach up, gently cupping her face. Then cupping her breast. And before
she could resist, Max leaned over, kissing him. Zack grabbed her by the hips, and soon they were joined
once again. Demonstrating their belonging to one another in a way that didn't require words.
by pari106
pari106@hotmail.com
http://www.geocities.com/pari106/damain.html
Code: M/Z; Rating: PG-13; Disclaimer: Cameron…Eglee…Fox…none of this is mine, really.
'I love you…'
'I love you…'
The words echoed in Zack's mind, over and over again, later, after the fire had died down to mere embers
and Max was sleeping nearby, huddled in the blankets they'd used to cover themselves. They hadn't
bothered to dress before drifting off to sleep in one another's arms.
Zack didn't bother to dress now. He gently untangled Max's legs from his, easing her head off of his chest
and onto the soft rug beneath them. Then he slipped out from under the covers, grabbing some firewood
from a nearby basket and getting the fire going once again.
'I love you…I love you…'
Zack no longer bothered to pretend that the shake in his hand came from the cold. He was kneeling there,
in front of the fireplace, stirring the now blossoming fire inside. Then he felt a pair of dark brown eyes on
him, and he stilled.
"You fell asleep," he said, a statement, not a question. He didn't even have to turn and look at Max to
know that she was now awake and watching him. Max smiled, softly.
"Yeah. Guess I was tired." Her tone was slightly teasing, very careful. What happened earlier had been
too wonderful for her to feel awkward, but it was also too new for Max to feel exactly comfortable. She
looked to Zack for some clue as to what they would do next.
And Zack looked back at her. Then he replaced the fire poker back in its holder, and returned to their little
pallet. Max tried to keep her gaze from travelling the length of him, watching the firelight trace his
muscles as he moved, but she couldn't quite help herself, so she concentrated on scooting further into the
covers, making room for Zack when he was back at her side.
They were quiet for a moment. Then Zack pulled her into his arms; into a gentle, comforting embrace.
They wrapped their arms around each other, and he rested his chin against the top of her head, and both of
them just wondered about what to say and do next.
Then Zack made a little confession.
"I thought you might be pretending." Max looked up at him in confusion, so he explained, "To sleep. So
you could hide from me."
"Why would I hide from you?" Max asked, but she knew what he meant. She reached up and traced his
jaw with one finger. He always seemed to be in a constant state of tension; always at the alert. His jaw
was tensed now, as if he were facing this "morning after" with her as he would face a battle. Perhaps he
was. That was Zack, after all. And Max loved him for what he was.
He was so strong. That strength was there in the shape of him, and in the way he carried himself. But there
was that same old vulnerability there, as well, in the way he didn't quite look at her, and in the tone of his
voice. And Max loved him even more for that.
"I don't want to hide from you, Zack," she told him, quietly.
Then she drew her hand away, suddenly becoming a bit nervous.
"Should I?" she asked.
Zack was just staring at her again, with those intense, unreadable eyes of his. Max felt like squirming
beneath that gaze.
But then Zack smiled, mimicking Max's previous gesture by tracing her chin with one of his fingers. His
expression was relaxed, but his eyes were dead serious as he spoke to her.
"You don't have to hide from me, Maxie."
Max returned his gaze without response, but her heart began to beat faster. Even after having spent the
evening in his arms, Zack's touch made Max's pulse race like she'd never felt his hands on her skin before.
And his words were meant to be comforting, but they were so similar to the ones Logan had spoken to her,
only that morning, that it disturbed Max, giving her an odd sense of foreboding for some reason.
But then Zack was talking again, and Max shrugged the feeling away.
"Did you mean it?" he asked.
He didn't have to specify what he meant – Max knew. She licked her lips, nervously.
"Do you have to ask?"
Zack didn't answer for a moment, then he turned to look at the fire, loosening their embrace just a little.
"I think I do," he told her. "We grew up like brother and sister, Max." There wasn't any of the disgust in
Zack's voice, that Max had once feared. Just the confusion, but at the same time, acceptance, that Max
herself felt about the situation. "Now we….Now you say that you love me."
"I don't think of you the way a sister thinks about her brother, Zack," Max told him, taking one of his
hands in one of her own. Then, quieter: "Maybe I never did."
"Me neither," he said, and Zack sensed Max's surprise, so he shrugged in response, though he had to smile.
"There was just always something…different about you."
Finally, Max smiled, too.
"You, too."
But Zack knew what he had to say before he could allow himself to slip into the intimate moment that had
found them yet again.
"That doesn't necessarily mean that you're in love with me, Max," he told her, trying to sound as though he
knew what he was talking about, though to his own ears, Zack sounded the same as he felt. Anything but
sure about anything.
Max thought about that. The words and his tone. It would be all too easy to let them discourage her, and in
a way she was discouraged. For a moment there, it seemed as though Zack were feeling exactly the same
sort of glow that she was in the wake of their lovemaking. Of their discovery of one another. But maybe…
Max shook her head. It didn't matter. She told herself it didn't matter. She'd known there weren't any
guarantees where Zack was concerned. Whether or not they'd made love, or even if they would again. She
couldn't let that stand in the way of her being honest with Zack. It wouldn't change the way she felt about
him, so why let it change the course of action she'd chosen to pursue?
Max raised her chin, just a little, without realizing it. A physical sign of her determination.
"It doesn't have to mean anything, if you don't want it to, Zack," she said, trying not to sound as
discomforted by the thought as she felt. And just to prove it, she held onto him tighter. "But they're my
words," she said, firmly. "And I meant them. I'm not taking them back. I know how I feel. I've known
for a long time. I told you I don't want to hide from you anymore, Zack. So I won't."
She was staring into the fire, now, as well.
"I hope you can accept that," she said earnestly.
After a moment, Zack looked over at her. He sighed, not being able to resist that little lift of her chin, or
the vulnerability behind it.
"I didn't say I didn't want you to love me, Max. I just don't want the words if they're empty." Zack forced
himself not to flinch away from Max's gaze when she returned it to him. They'd already bared their bodies
and their souls to one another. So why hide the truth? He'd already told Max that she didn't have to hide
from him. So how could he hide from her? Max just stared up at him, afraid to move or speak and thereby
break the spell that seemed to be weaving around them again. Hoping she was hearing what she thought
she was.
"It would hurt too much to let myself hope, and then find out you said what you did and didn't mean it."
'Oh, Zack…'
Max smiled.
"Zack…"
"I can understand, Max, if you didn't. You were confused. And we were both pretty caught up in the
moment. You're upset about leaving, and I…"
Suddenly, Max huffed, breaking right into Zack's ramblings. He looked at her with some surprise, even as
her smile faded into a frustrated scowl.
"Listen, just what are you trying to say?"
"What?"
Max felt tears prick at the back of her eyes, but she tried to ignore them.
"What is this all about, Zack? Are you trying to say you're having regrets, or…"
"No!" Zack told her, immediately. And his sincerity bolstered her, somewhat, but it also confused her.
"Then what? What do you want? Because I can't figure out whether you're saying that it's okay that I'm
in love with you…" Zack's eyes flickered, just a bit, with emotion as he heard Max say the words again,
and seeing that reaction softened Max's voice, deflated her ire somewhat. "Because I do love you, Zack."
Now that she knew she was allowed to say it, Max actually felt so much better when she did.
"I love you," she said again.
"Max…"
"Are you telling me it's okay, or that it isn't?"
Zack sighed again. Max had pulled away, and now he reached over, running his fingertips down one
shoulder that had escaped the blankets Max had pulled up around herself. They both shivered at the
contact.
"I'm just trying to give you the chance to make a choice," he said.
"I thought I'd already made that choice when I told I chose to tell you, Zack."
Zack just watched her a moment and they sat there in silence. They moved into an embrace once more, and
somehow Zack's lips found their way to hers. And after the soft kiss, Zack found himself staring into
Max's eyes with a combination of awe and dawning belief.
"You do, don't you?" He asked. "You really mean it."
Max wove her arms around Zack's neck, and his hands went to her waist in response. The blankets fell
down around them and Zack's gaze became heated at the sight of Max's naked body, visible before him
once again.
"I do," she told him.
"No regrets?"
"Nope. You?"
Zack would have laughed, but that would have seemed irreverent somehow.
So he smiled instead.
"Hell no." Max smiled, too. But their smiles slowly faded. "I've waited for this ever since we hooked up
again," he told her.
"Really?"
This time Zack did laugh.
"Couldn't you tell? Max…I feel like I've been in love with you my whole life."
'…I feel like I…'
What was that?
"Wha…What?" That was all Max could manage, breathlessly. Zack was still grinning, and he twisted a
strand of Max's hair around his fingers.
"Sorry. Guess, I haven't told you that yet."
"No, you haven't." Max was just staring at him, awe and joy and this wild exhilaration filling her all at the
same time. But she was too shocked to speak, and too moved to do more than fight the sudden moisture
that filled her eyes.
"I love you, Max," Zack told her now.
"Even when we were kids, I felt closer to you than to any of the others. After the escape, I felt lost because
we weren't together. Then, when I found you again… I went looking for the friend and the sister I left in
Wyoming, but I found this wild, beautiful woman instead. And I fell in love."
Those sneaky little smiled creeped back up onto both their faces. "I always thought about you," Max
confessed. "Every day since the escape. I wondered what happened to you. What I'd do if I could find
you again." Max raised an eyebrow. "Imagine my surprise when I figured out that answer."
She kissed him. Their hands started to travel.
"This is impossible," Zack was mumbling.
"Why?" Max asked.
"All this time…"
Zack looked back into her eyes, pulling back.
"Max…if you've loved me all this time, why didn't you go with me? All this time, why did you stay in
Seattle when I asked you not to?"
Max sighed, taking Zack's face into her hands. "Staying in Seattle wasn't about not loving you, Zack," she
tried to explain. "It was about me. Seattle is my home. It…"
And then it hit her. Max realized what she was saying and suddenly stopped.
"I…I mean…"
Zack saw the look on her face, and leaned over, stopping her words with a kiss.
"It's okay. It'll be okay, Max."
Max nodded, but her throat had become thick.
"We had to leave, Maxie."
"I know. It's just…habit, I guess."
Thinking about Original and the gang. Worrying about…
Max tried to push the thought away, but didn't succeed fast enough, apparently, to keep Zack from sensing
her thoughts.
"And Logan?" He asked suddenly, very still. Max didn't like the edge in his voice. "Is he habit, too?"
Max sighed. She didn't know how she could explain Logan to Zack.
"Logan and I are friends, Zack," she told him.
"You could have been more."
"Yeah," Max admitted. "If I weren't in love with you. But I just wasn't made that way. I love you, Zack."
"But you're still thinking about him, aren't you? Even now, you're thinking about Logan."
Zack's voice was angry, but also hurt, and Max supposed he had a right to be. She hadn't meant to let her
concerns for Logan interrupt her time with Zack. It wasn't like she thought about him constantly,
especially not while she was with Zack – she didn't love Logan that way. But he was still important to her,
and she couldn't just forget him altogether.
Still, the last thing she wanted was to hurt Zack.
"I'm just worried," she told him. "There's something going one with him, I just know it."
Max sighed, looking down at her hands.
She couldn't explain her friendship with Logan just yet. Not while she and Zack were still trying to explain
their own relationship. And she tried to tell him so.
"Zack, I can't…"
But Zack misunderstood. That's ass she said before his intense gaze was upon her again, this time sharp
and angry. A little surprised, and also afraid.
"Bullshit," he said.
"What?"
"The hell you can't leave. After what just…you're telling me you want to stay? After all this?"
Zack looked furious. All Max could think was 'What?' Then she got it.
'Oh.' Oh, no….no, no, no, no. That wasn't what she'd meant.
"Zack, I di…"
But Zack didn't let her finish. She saw him move before she realized why. With those super fast reflexes
of theirs, he was just a blur. She thought maybe he was moving away from her, but suddenly his lips were
on hers and she was lying beneath him.
She didn't know if Zack were just tired of arguing, or if he was afraid to listen to more of what Max might
say. Maybe he was just being territorial – Max didn't know. But they'd come too far to let a little
misunderstanding tear them apart now, so soon. So Max stopped wondering about the 'why', and just gave
herself up to Zack's kisses. She could explain herself later. She and Zack would have plenty of 'later'
now.
Before they could go further than kissing and touching, Zack stopped, capturing Max's eyes with his own.
His features were less severe now that he was holding her, that she was kissing him back with a mutual
passion that should have seemed contradictory, considering the fact that she seemed ready to go back to
Seattle again, and leave this new, wonderful something they'd found together. Zack's jaw was still set and
his eyes were still full of emotion.
He couldn't let her leave him. Not now. Not if she meant what she said about loving him. She'd said that
she meant it and that she wouldn't take it back. And until she did, Zack couldn't let her go. It would have
been hard before, but now…now that he'd let himself believe…
What the hell did Logan have over her anyhow? He didn't have the history with her that Zack did. He
wasn't her CO, her family. He wasn't in love with her like Zack was. He didn't make her feel like this
when she was in his arms, did he? He couldn't, or else she wouldn't be with Zack now, would she?
"I'm not letting you leave me now, Maxie," he told her between kisses, which were wild now, not fleeting
between hot and gentle like they had been when they'd made love before. He was kissing her now like he
was afraid it was the last time.
And Max wanted to comfort him. She held him, and met his kisses silently, even when he was a bit too
rough. But she was also tired of them playing this little game. Each of them getting spooked and lashing
out at the other, whether it was with words or accusations or fiery kisses.
"You belong with me, Max," he was whispering in her ear. Max shivered. The way Zack said them, the
words should have been 'You belong *to* me.' And there was something primitively satisfying about
being claimed by a mate that shook Max. Something true about the statement. Her heart was Zack's now.
But her mind was still very much her own. And she didn't like the insinuation that she did anything, went
anywhere, strictly because of someone else – be that someone Logan or Zack. That insinuation needled at
her, even through the haze of love and desire that had fallen over them.
With a movement, from her position on her back, Max used her X5 strength to flip the both of them over,
so that she landed on top of Zack, with him lying under her, looking up at her in surprise.
"And what about you, Zack?" she asked, dead serious. "Where do you belong?"
She looked into his eyes, searching. He obviously needed some sort of reassurance that she meant to be
with him. But for her to give him that, Max needed some sort of reassurance that he meant to be with her.
He said he loved her. That he didn't want her to leave. But if all he ever did, himself, was leave, what did
that mean lay ahead for them? A life of these little, stolen moments? Moving from one strange town, to
another, seeing Zack only when it was convenient with his busy schedule as CO? Waiting for him to
breeze in between meetings with the other X5s? If he didn't believe in staying in one place long enough to
belong, how did he feel about staying with one person, even one that he claimed to love so much?
"Where do you belong, Zack?" she asked again. "Because you're right, I belong with you. I want to be
with you. As long as you want that, too, there's nothing you have to worry about," she told him.
Zack didn't answer, but he did reach up, gently cupping her face. Then cupping her breast. And before
she could resist, Max leaned over, kissing him. Zack grabbed her by the hips, and soon they were joined
once again. Demonstrating their belonging to one another in a way that didn't require words.