Nergal Fan Fiction LLC
A division of Nergal Heavy Industries proudly presents:
NEON GENESIS EVANGELION: RENAISSANCE
Chapter Two "THE FLAMES ARE ALL GONE BUT THE PAIN LINGERS ON"
by Ryoma
Disclaimer: Characters from Neon Genesis Evangelion have been used without permission. All characters contained in this work are copyright GAINAX, Project EVA, Movic, AD Vision and Manga Entertainment. All proceeds generated by this fic will be distributed to them, I promise.
Shinji and Asuka resumed their journey toward the wasteland that had once been the thriving city of Tokyo-3. Slowly they trudged, away from the beach, away from the Eva Series, away from the tombstones, and most of all away from the past. Neither of them looked back, their previous lives were over, the future lay in front of them. The sun had final broken free of the horizon and commenced its daily voyage across the heavens. A new day had begun, with new opportunities, new adventures, new experiences, and a new purpose.
Onward they pressed, through the ruins of the Geofront and Tokyo-3. Anything the N2 mines missed, Lillith cleared when she tore her egg out of the ground beneath them. The upshot of this was that most of the large rubble had settled back into the hole where the Geofront once was. This made the passage away from the beach difficult, yet still possible. Although the landscape had radically changed, the few remaining landmarks provided sufficient information for Shinji to determine their location. His frequent excursions throughout Tokyo-3 and the surrounding countryside had finally proven their worth. At least that is what Asuka told him, as they headed toward the hills that marked the natural border of Tokyo-3. As the soft sound of the surf faded, nothing could be heard, other than their breathing and the thump of their footsteps. They could see no signs of life, no animals, no plants, not even a slight breeze. The world didn't just seem dead; it felt frozen as if time itself had stopped. Both of them seemed to realize this at the same time, but neither told the other, not wanting to depress an already difficult situation. They persisted on as the sun continued its voyage above them.
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It seemed like a logical place to stop, Shinji thought. Asuka's pace had been steadily slowing and the sun was getting close to the horizon in front of them. They had been walking for what seemed like hours, and although their pace was slow, they had made good progress. The ocean was a distant sight below.
Shinji stopped walking. "I think we should stop for a rest."
Shinji's voice seemed to snap her from a daze. "Yah, sure, I mean I can keep going...but if you need to rest, I'll stop." Asuka wiped the sweat off her brow with her bandaged arm.
Shinji carefully released Asuka from his grip and she settled down on a large stone beside the road they had been walking on. Based on the fact that many cars and trucks were parked here, Shinji decided it appeared to be a military roadblock or something. He stood on the rock and surveyed the area.
"I'm going to take a quick look around and find us some shelter before it gets too late." Shinji jumped down off the rock and began to walk away.
"Your not going to leave me here, are you?" Asuka pleaded and began to stretch her legs toward the ground in anticipation of walking again.
"I'm just going to scout around a little. We haven't much time before it gets dark."
"Then I'll come too, you'll need my help." Asuka tried to stand up, but the brief respite from walking had caused her legs to tense up and cramp.
"You stay and rest, I'm not going far," Shinji replied while still walking away.
"Ok, but stay within earshot in case you need me...I mean it!" Asuka pulled her legs up to her chest and let out a little sigh of relief.
Shinji began to move about the assorted vehicles on the road, Although most were the standard cars and small trucks he had seen hundreds of times in Tokyo-3, a line of large olive green trucks stood off to the side and grabbed his attention. Shinji changed his direction and headed off for the last in the line.
Asuka picked her head up and looked for Shinji. Squinting she could just make out his appearance down the road. "What do you see?" she shouted.
"They look like some type of army vehicles, they're not marked but most likely the Japanese Strategic Self Defense Force," he replied. The Japanese Strategic Self Defense Force. Shinji's face grimaced as those words seemed to finally register. These trucks may have carried the NERV invasion force, he pondered as he remembered the events of yesterday. The invasion of NERV, the bodies of both NERV and JSSDF troops lying dead at his feet. Those three soldiers that were going to kill him and Misato saving him at the last moment, only to die later. The memories all returned in a flood of emotion. Why had it happened? Could he have stopped it?
Shinji stared at the line of trucks for a long moment. His right hand balled into a fist. The anger in him rose to a fevered pitch. Bastards, he thought, they were killing innocent people, they killed Misato...I'm glad their gone!
He moved around from the back of the truck to the driver's side door. His resentment providing the catalyst, he reflexively ripped the door open.
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
"What? Shinji, what is it!" Asuka struggled to her feet, his screams blocking out any pain she was feeling as she struggled toward Shinji's voice. What the hell was going on? she wondered frantically. I've got to help him.
"Get off me...you murderer...Help...Help me...him get off!"
After few anxious moments, Asuka finally made it to the back of the truck. A look of fear was frozen on her face as she stopped and took a deep breath. She raised her good hand and prepared herself for battle. She knew she couldn't fight with one arm, she needed a weapon. Asuka quickly scanned the truck. Seeing a shovel mounted to the back of the truck, she grabbed it and with her good arm, held it over her head. After one last breath, she jumped out from behind the truck, ready to repel the attack. Surprised at not seeing anyone, she looked down to the source of the struggle.
"Shinji what are you doing?" Asuka screamed as she looked down and saw Shinji wrestling with what appeared to be a one piece Army uniform.
"Shinji, hey, dork its not real! It's not even a person!"
Even in his panicked state, her words seemed to reach him. Shinji stopped flailing his arms and opened his eyes. Much to his dismay he looked down to see a tangled and torn jumpsuit resting on his chest. Slowly he gazed upward to the figure standing over him. He witnessed certain redheaded girl's face slowly turn from a look of terror to a look of disgust or amusement, he couldn't be sure.
"You scared the hell out of me for nothing, ...You idiot!" She slowly lowered her "weapon" and placed it on the ground.
"I'm sorry Asuka. It's just that I opened the door and this thing fell on me... I thought it was real." Shinji grasped the uniform and tossed it aside. He sat up and began to brush himself off.
"Shinji, it's as real as all the other pieces of clothing that we have passed." Asuka looked down at the jumpsuit, now resting at the side of the road. "Why the hell do you freak out over this one?"
Shinji stood up and pondered his reply for a minute. "When I saw the trucks, I got to remembering the whole NERV invasion, I guess figured that these were the same troops."
"So you decide to take it out on their clothes?" Asuka sardonically asks.
"I guess I was scared. You...You weren't there. It was horrible. The killing...the blood...Misato. They were killing everybody...they almost killed me," Shinji whispered.
A frown formed on Asuka's face, "I'm sorry...I didn't know."
Shinji looked away, toward the distant ocean, "It was terrible. I never realized that people could be so cruel to one another."
"It's all right, you don't have to tell me, I understand," Asuka apologized.
Shinji turned back and faced her, "No, I have to start facing my past...I have to start taking responsibility for my actions...all of them!"
Asuka was taken back by Shinji's tone. She looked at him quizzically before finally speaking, "Why did they attack NERV? I mean do you know why it happened?"
"I don't know for sure...Misato told me it was prevent the Third Impact...but why? No one wanted Third Impact, most weren't even fighting back, and these bastards still killed them...no mercy, only death." Shinji looked down at the ground, his head hung low. "The only justice here is that the son's of bitches that ordered the attack are gone too," Shinji quietly remarked.
Asuka moved in toward Shinji and placed her hand on his shoulder. "That must have awful, what did you while this was going on?"
"I did nothing...stupid Shinji Ikari, world famous Eva pilot, cowers in the corner while everyone around him dies. I am pathetic." He pulled himself away, allowing her hand to fall back to her side.
"Shinji, you're being too hard on yourself," she said as again she tried to reach out for him, but he turned himself away.
"I don't think so, I didn't even try to help. If anything I got in the way. Misato would have been fine if she didn't have to come get me. I'm nothing but a coward." Shinji now completely turned away from Asuka.
"You're not a soldier, you couldn't be expected to fight. Why do you think you're a coward, Shinji?" Asuka moved in behind him and wrapped her arm around his waist.
"I guess I sort of hoped that they would kill me too." He tried to move forward out of the embrace, but was surprised at the strength in the arm holding him. He struggled a bit, but quickly resigned himself to remain held. "No, I didn't sort of hope they would kill me, I wanted them to kill me!"
Asuka leaned forward and brought her head next to his and carefully placed her chin on his shoulder, "Why, why would you wish to die?" she whispered.
Shinji stared blankly ahead while Asuka waited for a reply. She tightened her grip on him, hoping to perhaps squeeze a response out of him. She was about to pose the question again when he finally spoke, "I guess I had given up all hope, I no longer had anything left. You hated me, Rei...well at least the Rei I knew was gone, Misato ignored me, Kaji, Touji, Kensuke, Kaworu, everyone had left me. I had nothing, no one cared, I was just tired of living with the pain. I had no reason to live anymore."
Asuka continued to hold him tightly as she carefully reviewed Shinji's last statement. She thought to herself about the current mental state of her companion. She had never seen him this low, even after the whole Touji thing. Random thoughts began to enter her mind, what did he mean about Wondergirl?, who was Kaworu?, many questions but no answers. She made a mental note to ask him later. Something he said seemed to resonate in her head, 'You hated me.' She began to ponder that idea as her head sunk down as she loosened her clench a little. She knew she didn't hate him, for that she was sure, but yet what were her feelings toward him? And why should he care either way, she knew he didn't care about her after the way she treated him for so long. He was only with her because he didn't have a choice. She decided she would need to think of something to keep him going, for both of their sakes. She continued deep in thought until her face suddenly lit up.
"Well now you do!" Asuka optimistically replied while releasing her grip on him.
"Do what?" Shinji turned around and gave her a puzzled look.
"Have a reason to live." She turned around and began to straighten out her hair.
"Huh?"
She continued to fluff and straighten her hair as best she could given the circumstances. She had to look her best. She knew it always helps if the salesperson is attractive. The consequences were too great, she had to close this deal. Everything depended on it. There was no way he could reject her, she hoped. Satisfied that she had done all she could, she finally turned around and stared directly into his eyes. "You have to help me get better, stupid. That will be your reason to live."
Shinji gazed blankly back at her.
"Yah, I guess so," Shinji sighed
His halfhearted answer didn't sit well with his companion, "Guess so? Look you need to take care of me until I am better, understand?" She began to pace back and forth in front of him. "When I'm better you can do whatever you think you need to do, understand." As soon as she stopped, she mentally admonished herself for yelling at the boy. She couldn't understand why she did it, but she resolved to try harder not to in the future.
"Yes." Shinji began to stare at the ground.
"Do you understand!" Asuka grabbed Shinji's chin and forced him to look at her.
"YES."
"Good, so...do you think these guys carried any food or water?" she asked after releasing her grip. She began to walk toward the back of the truck.
Shinji stood in shock for a moment, trying to understand exactly what had just happened. A chorus of German profanities broke his silent reflection as Asuka's attempt to enter the back of the truck ended with her seated on the ground.
"Asuka, you can't climb up there with one arm, you're going to hurt yourself. I'll take a look."
With that Shinji carefully picked up the discarded jumpsuit and placed it back into the front seat and shut the door. They had both decided that it would be wrong to disturb any clothing if possible. Asuka had said that it was comparable to grave desecration, and Shinji had to agree. However, they also had agreed that anything that wasn't in the piles was free game so Shinji jumped into the back of the truck.
"What do you see?" Asuka eagerly asked.
"Well there's a bunch of equipment, radio's, helmets and stuff." Asuka could hear the sounds of drawers and cabinets being opened and shut emanate from the truck.
"Water, I found some water bottles."
"Great, hand one out here, I'm dying of thirst!" Asuka moved to the opening in anticipation.
"Hold on, let me finish checking everything first."
Asuka crossed her arms and began tapping her foot on the ground. "You better find something good for making me wait."
A few moments later Shinji's head emerged from the canvas opening in back of the truck, "How's this?" In his hands was a box filled with water bottles, energy bars and instant meals.
"The Japanese Army sure was prepared." Asuka exclaimed at seeing the bounty in front of her. She had not really felt it before, but now the pangs of hunger suddenly washed over her. She had been too busy to feel hungry, but now with relief so close at hand, her stomach growled audibly.
"Yeah, I guess so." Shinji supposed. He jumped out and moved over to the front of a small car, which was parked next to the truck. He placed the box down and they both sat on the edge of hood. Shinji watched in silence as his companion began to tear open one energy bar after another, each one destined to silence the German's stomach. After a handful of bars, Asuka finally looked up, instant meal in one hand, water bottle in the other, "Are you going to eat or what?" she asked, though it was barely recognizable given her mouth full of food.
"Huh?"
Asuka swallowed her food and continued, "I said are you going to eat? How can you not be hungry?" She took a quick chug of the water before moving it back to her bandaged hand.
"I...I guess I was just watching you..." Shinji stammered.
Asuka put down her food and water. "Watching me? What are you stupid?"
"No, its just that it reminded me of all the times we used to eat together at Misato's." A slight frown appeared on Shinji's face.
"Shinji," Asuka sighed, "you have to let it go."
"Let what go?"
Asuka glanced away, "the past..."
"Why, I still have good memories of the past, memories that I don't want to forget." Shinji continued to stare at her.
Asuka looked back at him. "Memories are fine, but you still have to keep on living, you still have to move on...you have to keep going Shinji, the past is done, it can never be changed. All you can do is continue on and learn from your mistakes."
Shinji paused and then replied, "I guess your right, but we still had some good times you must admit."
Asuka sat for a minute, "I never knew anyone could drink that much beer."
"Or eat that much take out, how did she ever keep her figure?"
"Figures you would notice her figure, you pervert," Asuka jokingly replied. The two children enjoyed a mutual laugh as visions of their former guardian danced in their heads.
Shinji gazed away from her, "you sound like Misato."
"Huh...what!" Asuka unconsciously began to fret about.
"Misato said the same thing to me right before I ran away the last time," Shinji replied without looking back.
"Well...I guess I underestimated how smart she was, we great minds think alike you know." A smug smile appeared on her face.
Shinji thought for a moment, "maybe...but,"
"But what, but what?" her smile had disappeared, replaced by an expression of bewilderment.
Again, Shinji paused and then replied, "I think she was drunk at the time."
Asuka's face contorted, "Huh...what do you...errrr!"
Shinji turned back around to reveal a beaming smile, one that Asuka told herself she had not seen in a long time. A smile she admitted she had missed seeing on him.
"Sorr..."
"Don't say it, Third Child," Asuka hissed, "If you say sorry I'll...I'll..."
"You'll what, Miss one arm, one eye? Bleed on me." Shinji was obviously enjoying this little exchange.
Asuka on the other hand was not prepared for his newfound boldness and she had been taken by surprise, "Well just remember I don't need two arms to kick your ass."
"If you're going to kick my ass, its not your arms that I need to worry about." Shinji was laughing.
"Rest assured that my arms, I mean my legs are just fine and...you know what I mean!" Asuka was becoming upset.
"Sorr..." Shinji could literally feel the glare she directed at him. "Never mind."
"Just shut up and eat your food, Idiot!" Asuka huffed.
Asuka picked up her water and food and began to resume her meal. Fighting with Shinji took a lot of energy and she needed to replace it. She continued eating and staring out to the distant ocean.
After a few minutes passed she spoke up. "Hey Shinji can you pass me another meal?" As she turned to receive it, she noticed that Shinji still had not taken anything to eat. "What are you waiting for, eat something."
Shinji's mood seemed serious again, "I told you, I'm not hungry."
"You have to be hungry, it's been a whole day." Asuka's voice had turned to a pleading tone.
"I just don't want to eat." Shinji looked away toward the distant coast.
Asuka took a moment or two, then erupted, "Eat some food you jerk, you need your strength to take care of me!"
"I said I am not hungry, stop worrying about me, you never did before!" Shinji replied without turning around.
Asuka raised her hand and pointed, prepared to say something, only to stop before any words emerged. She froze in this position for a minute, mouth open, finger pointing at an oblivious Shinji, deep in thought. "I may have only one arm and one eye, but I can still teach you a lesson."
Turning back to face her, Shinji replied, "Like what?"
"I'm going to teach you a lesson about not listening to me. I am going to eat all of your portion of the food and then when you realize that you are hungry, you will have nothing to eat."
Shinji looked down at still impressive pile of food. Asuka's meal had barely put a dent in the collection of foodstuffs and by his rough estimate there was enough food for at least 3 more servings, maybe more. "Go ahead and try."
"Oh I'll do it and when I do you'll be sorry." Asuka quickly replied.
Shinji had listened to just about enough. "Asuka, look at all this food. If by some miracle you were able to hold it all down, your plug suit would explode at the seams. That is of course unless you're using your Type B suit." The image of Asuka in her Type B suit flashed into his mind. A slight smile formed on his face as her remembered how embarrassed she was when he was the one to help her out of the core plug after the mission to Mt. Asama.
Asuka seemed to blush as the same image ran through her mind. "Oh you dork, don't remind me of that...that thing. I looked like a big red beach ball." They both let out a slight chuckle as an image of a helpless Asuka rolling around on a deserted beach simultaneously entered both of their minds.
"Well, if you try to eat all this food, you'll look just like that again." Shinji crossed his arms with a satisfied smile on his face.
Asuka glanced at Shinji, then back at the food, then back to Shinji. He was right, she couldn't eat all that food. She knew that she couldn't let him win, after all she was doing this for his own good. She decided to try a different approach, "Well, you're right for once, I can't eat all that food."
Shinji seemed quite proud of himself for finally outsmarting the girl.
"However, I may not be able to eat all that food, but nothing is stopping me from doing this." Asuka took one of the energy bars out of the pile and carefully ripped the top open. She removed the bar and stared at Shinji while she placed the bar in her mouth. Shinji was taken back when, instead of eating it, she removed it and placed it back into it wrapper. She placed that one aside and grabbed the next item in the pile.
"Asuka, what the hell are you doing?"
"Well, I can't eat them all, so I'll do the next best thing. I'm going to lick every piece of food so you'll be to disgusted to eat it. Then it will all be mine and you will go hungry." Asuka had the look of victory on her face as she started opening the next bar.
Shinji grabbed her arm before she could put the bar in her mouth. "You're acting like a child. I just don't feel like eating, that's all."
Asuka stared at Shinji, then pulled her arm free. "Fine, if you don't want to eat, then don't eat. I don't care...but if you don't stop me soon, you are going to have to find your own food." As before she placed the bar in her mouth and repeated her previous procedure. "Yup, all this fine food will be off limits to Shinji."
"What are you talking about, I can still eat it, its not like your spit is poison." Shinji actually had to think about that for a second.
Asuka sensed the tide turning and she pressed her attack, "Poison?!?!, Nothing as drastic as that but...I know that you wouldn't dare eat something that's been in a girl's mouth. Your too afraid of girls to do something like that."
Shinji began to edge closer to Asuka. "Stop trying to goad me, I said I'm not hungry, I don't want to eat."
"Yup, too afraid of girls." Asuka could feel victory within reach.
"I am not!" Shinji was right next to Asuka now, his face inches from hers, their eyes locked, their lips tantalizingly close.
Asuka delivered the coup de grace, "Such a pathetic little boy."
Shinji stared directly into her unbandaged eye and slowly moved his hand over to hers. His hand delicately caressed the top of her hand, causing her to startle slightly and release a small gasp. He held her hand for just a moment and then quickly pulled out the open energy bar. His eyes never moving from her he spoke, "Fine, I'll eat if it will shut you up!" With that he took a large bite out of the bar, carefully chewing it as he continued his staring contest with her. Two bites later, he had devoured the entire thing. "There are you happy now, I'm eating!" The grabbed another one and tore it open.
Asuka did not reply but rather turned away to return to her own food, a small smile escaping despite her best efforts to hold it in. Thank you, Shinji she thought to herself.
They both continued eating in silence.
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Shinji got up, stretched and turned to Asuka, "We had better get a move on, it won't be light too much longer." Asuka nodded her head in agreement.
"I want to check these trucks to see if there's anything else of use before we move on. I kind of stopped looking after I found the food and water."
Asuka scanned the line of vehicles, "Tell you what Shinji, you check this one again, it seems to be the supply truck, and I'll give the other ones a quick check."
Shinji looked worriedly at her, "Are you sure you'll be alright?"
"Yeah, the food really helped, I feel much better, look." Asuka moved her bandaged arm around and smiled at Shinji. He returned the grin and she performed a quick little spin to emphasize her point. "See, nothing to worry about, now come on, the sun's starting to go down."
Shinji followed her gaze and could see that in fact the sun was just touching the distant horizon. "Ok, grab anything you think we can use, stuff like food and water, matches,..."
Asuka interrupted him, "I'm not stupid, you know. I am the college graduate here."
"Oh, yeah...right...sorry." Shinji cringed as she tightened her hands into fists and shook them by her side.
"Arrgh, just get going, idiot!" Asuka turned and stormed away.
Shinji jumped into the truck and started his search. He found a large canvas bag and deciding that it would prove useful, he emptied its contents. He began stuffing the bag with items he found in the first set of cabinets he searched. He put the remaining food and water, a flashlight, and a lighter into the bag. Spotting a tent at the bottom of the cabinets, he placed it next to the entrance of the truck. He moved to the other side of the truck and commenced searching the cabinets on that side. He opened the first door and found a stack of large blankets. He quickly grabbed 2 and then stuffed them into the bag. Shinji stopped for a moment of thought, and then with a sly smirk he placed one back. He continued on to the second cabinet and finding it only filled with adult sized uniforms, he shut the door and proceeded to the last cabinet. Causally he opened the door and gasped. Inside he could see a myriad of different weapons and their associated accessories.
"Wow, rifles, machine guns, hey that looks like a rocket launcher. Boy, if Kensuke were here he would have had a field day with this stuff." Shinji then noticed the locks, which held the aforementioned items in place. He pulled on the restraints but to no avail, they were made to keep unauthorized personnel out, and he certainly didn't belong in there. Shinji sighed and began to shut the door when he caught it out of the corner of his eye. It's polished chrome surface stood out amongst the black and olive drab surrounding it. He slowly bent down and cradled the weapon in his hands. It felt cold and unforgiving he thought, but yet he suddenly sensed powerful. He could feel his heart racing as he deliberately brought the gun up to his face, squinting as the little sunlight that was present glinted off into his eyes. A grin, small at first but growing larger by the minute, appeared on his face as he twisted it with a perverse fascination, examining his toy from every possible angle. He held it like he had seen Misato do before, feeling its deceptive, but gratifying weight transfer from his hand to his arm and throughout his body. He softly flicked the safety switch and gently gripped the trigger...
Asuka had been feeling pretty good about herself. She had not found a lot of supplies, but then again she hadn't expected to find much. After all, stupid Shinji got to look in the supply truck while she got stuck looking in the smaller command vehicles. Still, she had in her opinion done a good job, finding a lighter, some water, a first aid kit, a blanket, and most important a map. Shinji may know the area around Tokyo-3, but she doubted he knew much about the rest of Japan. She sighed as she finished checking the last vehicle and found nothing useful. She loudly slammed the door and yelled, "Hey, Shinji, are you done yet?"
She started walking back toward the supply truck. "Hey, dork, I said I'm done and as usual I did pretty well." The continued silence began to grate on her nerves. "What the hell are you doing in there?..."
Shinji jumped as he heard Asuka's approaching voice. She seemed to snap him out of the trance that the handgun had put him under. He shook his head and carefully put the safety switch back on. Her second call was much closer than the first and he began to panic. She wouldn't understand, it's for our protection, he thought, I'll be careful, I...I may need this someday. He could hear her footsteps directly outside and he hastily placed the gun to his chest while turning his back to her.
Poking her head through the canvas door Asuka bellowed, "Idiot, what in the hell is taking you so long?"
"Nothing, I'm just finishing," Shinji replied while he knelt down behind the canvas bag and warily wrapped the gun in the blanket.
Asuka strained to see what Shinji was doing. "Hey, what do you have there? Is that what I think it is?" His heart skipped a beat as he stuffed the blanket into the bag. He had been caught and he mentally prepared himself for her tirade. "Oh great, you found a blanket, at least you aren't completely stupid."
Shinji breathed out sigh of relief as he nervously cinched the top shut. He slung the heavy bag over his shoulder and then turned around to face his cohort. Much to Shinji's surprise, Asuka had disappeared from the opening. "Figures," he whispered, "the minute her presence could actually be useful, she's no where to be found." He smiled to himself, savoring his little joke, before trudging to the opening.
Outside, Asuka quickly rummaged through her knapsack of supplies. She could hear Shinji drop the bag on the ground as she finally found what she was looking for. "Asuka, where are you?"
In one fluid motion she pulled something out of her knapsack and threw it under the truck. "I'll be right there," she answered to Shinji's calling. She began to refasten the clasps on the knapsack when she saw him thrust his head around the side of the truck and begin walking toward her. "I'm just making sure that everything's secure, don't want to lose anything ya know."
"Here, let me help you." Shinji knelt down next to her. "Hey you got some great stuff, first aid kit, water...is that a map, excellent." He looked at her beaming face.
"Yes...well you know, I just figured that...um we could use this stuff." His compliments had caught her off guard.
Shinji stood up and held out his hand. Asuka looked at it for a moment and then took it as he helped her to her feet. "Well, I don't think we are going to find any shelter before dark, but I found a tent so I guess that will have to do."
"Well, it's better than nothing I guess."...
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Shinji had finally finished putting up the tent just as the last remnants of the sun disappeared beneath the horizon. Asuka had made a campfire out of some army manuals and dead wood and was seated on a log in front of it. Although the day had been quite hot, and the chill of the night had not yet settled in, she found the warmth of the fire very comforting. She looked around at the scenery, the clear skies providing a beautiful view of the pale white moon just beginning to rise above the ocean. She had been feeling very uneasy as the darkness began to creep in around her. She told herself that must be why she made the fire as large as she did. Shinji joined her at the fire, sitting across from her on the ground.
"There's plenty of room over her, you know." Asuka groaned upon seeing Shinji seated on the ground.
"Well, I wasn't sure that you would want me to sit on your seat."
"Shinji, we need to talk," Asuka sighed.
"What?" Shinji cocked his head in an effort to improve his hearing.
"We need to talk."
"Um...Ok." Shinji's voice had to rise over the snapping and hissing of the flames between them. "What do you want to talk about?"
"Well...!," Asuka started to reply but cut her response short. She stared through the fire directly into his eyes. "Get over here, I'm not going to scream to talk to you!"
Shinji sighed and then grudgingly got up and sat down next to the girl, still keeping a noticeable gap between himself and Asuka.
"Thank you, " she spoke softly. She began to stare at the flames dancing in the fire. "Shinji, we have a couple of things we need to work out."
"Yes." Shinji turned to gaze out to the ocean.
"First off, whether you like it or not we have to stick together. I don't know how long until I, or even if I'll ever, fully heal." Asuka shuttered at that thought but continued on, "I hate not being able to help as much as I should, but I promise I will do all that I can. I don't want to die here, Shinji. I fought too hard yesterday to throw it away now. It would have been so easy to just give in but I didn't. I refuse to believe that we are the only ones left, but either way I don't plan on dying for a long time. Anyway, until I can fend for myself, I need you to stay," Asuka's voice threatened to crack,"...regardless of your feelings toward me."
Shinji had been nodding along with Asuka's comments until she reached the end. He turned back toward her with a look of bewilderment. My feelings toward her?, he thought, she's the one who will leave, she's the one who hates me.
In the dim light of the fire, Asuka missed the expression on Shinji's face and assuming his silence confirmed his agreement, continued on, "Now that we have that out of the way, we need to get the sleeping arrangements squared away because I am dead tired."
They both stared at the tent, then at each other, and then back to the tent. Seconds turned into minutes as they both peered into the darkness that emerged from within the structure. Asuka finally broke the spell, "Well, we really should get some sleep."
"Y...Yes, I mean it's getting late." Shinji stammered.
"Yeah, its getting late...so are you ready?"
"Ready for what?" Shinji quizzed.
"To go to sleep, stupid." Asuka huffed.
"Oh, right...I'll get ready" Shinji stood up and looked around for a decent place to put down.
Asuka watched him with bafflement as Shinji carefully scanned the immediate area, and ultimately settling on a space, laid down. "Good night Asuka."
Asuka hung her down and shook it from side to side and with a groan she walked over to him. Standing over the reclined Shinji she crossed her arms over her chest and glared down at him. He slowly opened one eye and looked at her, "What?"
"What are you doing? I said it was time to go to sleep." Asuka shouted.
"That's what I'm trying to do, if you would leave me alone," Shinji closed his eye again.
"What about the tent?"
"What about it, it's all ready for you, I even laid out the blanket for you."
"Well, you aren't going to sleep in there?"
Shinji opened his eyes. "I didn't think that you would want me to sleep in there with you."
Asuka's hands slipped down by her side and she offered her good one to Shinji. "Come here, idiot." Shinji took Asuka's hand and stood up. "Well, you did carry most of the stuff, and you did most of the work putting it up, so it would only be fair to allow you to stay in it with me."
Shinji dusted off his clothes as they walked to the tent. "Thanks."
"Nothing to thank me for, remember we have to start working together."
"Yes"
"Good, now here are the rules". Asuka began wagging her finger at Shinji to emphasize her point. "No snoring, no checking out my body, no touching, no hentai fantasies about Wondergirl, no perverted acts, no funny stuff, and most of all no kissing, you got me."
"W...what fantasies?...Huh?" Shinji spluttered before remembering the point of the whole exchange. "Well, yes I guess"
"Yes, what?"
"Yes I will follow all of your rules!" Shinji stood straight at attention in a mock salute.
"All of them?" Asuka probed.
"Yes, all of them."
A frown appeared on Asuka's face as she turned away. "Such a boring little boy," she commented as she climbed into the tent leaving a stunned Shinji behind.
Shinji stood in quiet reflection at her last comment. Was she teasing him, or was there something else? He just couldn't understand her sometimes he decided.
His stupor was broken by Asuka's voice. "Get your ass in gear, Shinji, it's getting cold in here with the door open."
Shinji quickly entered the tent and zipped the door shut. Although it was quite dark inside, just enough light from the fire permeated the walls that he could make out where Asuka had chose to lay down and he quietly moved to the other side. Picking the farthest point possible from her, he laid down and instinctively grabbed the blanket and pulled it over himself. Much to his surprise, the blanket stopped in mid flight so he pulled again in an attempt to free it from its impediment. This time it flew gracefully over him and he promptly wrapped himself up in it.
Shinji didn't understand much German, and the few words he knew were not for use in polite conversation, so when he began to hear a string of German rise up behind him he knew it could not be good. Sitting straight up he slowly turned to the source of the commotion.
"Get your own blanket, dork." Shinji could feel a tug and he surrendered his short-lived prize.
Shinji laid staring at the ceiling of the tent for a few moments, however soon the chill began to set in. He got up and rummaged through the canvas bag, suddenly remembering his brilliant move of leaving a blanket behind. He closed the bag with a sigh and he laid back down. He tightened into a ball as he began to shiver from the chill.
He felt a presence kneeling over him. "Remember, we have to work together, Shinji." Asuka said as she carefully placed half of the blanket over him. Shinji could feel her warmth still in the wool as he wrapped it around himself.
"Thanks."
"It's nothing, but since we only have one blanket, we are going to have to get closer together." Shinji could feel someone stirring behind him as she worked herself closer. He flinched as part of her touched him. "Jeez relax, I'm not going to hurt you." He could now feel her right against his back, snuggling in tight against him. After one last moment of adjustment, the movement behind him ceased except for the periodic raising and lowering of her chest.
"Asuka?"
"Yes," she replied in a callous tone.
"Well...um..."
"Spit it out you dork! I'm trying to sleep here."
"It's just that you're breaking one of your own rules."
"Huh, what?"
"You know, no touching."
"Well, I guess there's no choice given the circumstances," she retorted, "But the other rules still apply, got it!"
"All of them?"
"Yes, all of them"
Shinji wrapped the covers tightly around himself. He waited for a long time, until he thought that she would be just about asleep, "Such a boring little girl."
He had been expecting the worst. He knew it would be bad, possibly painful but at the least it would be bad. No one ever embarrassed Asuka Langley Sohryu without extreme physical or emotional pain. Now it was the waiting that was getting to him, waiting for the inevitable comeback to his comment. Instead of a flood of fists and insults, Shinji was surprised to feel a gentle shaking behind him. A shaking as if someone as crying; yet he knew that wasn't the case. The shaking grew faster and larger as the girl could no longer hold it in any longer. Shinji smiled as her laughter broke through the silence of night.
"There's hope for you yet, idiot."
The two children enjoyed a brief moment of joy in what had been difficult day. Soon their mutual laughter died down and they settled down for a good night's sleep. Shinji flinched, just a little, as Asuka seemed to draw him close, much closer than before. He for the first time in a long time he felt good. He wasn't upset about the events of the previous days, he didn't feel alone, and most of all, for the first time since Third Impact, he felt that maybe, just maybe there was a reason to hope. With that thought fresh in his mind, a smiling Shinji closed his eyes and nodded off to fight his nightmares on their own terms.
Outside next to the smoldering fire, a solitary figure stood. Her eyes were as red as the glowing embers and they fixed on the tent where the two children lay sleeping. A slight smile could be seen on her lips as she watched them slumber. "Sleep well children, you have but started the path and there are many obstacles ahead."
Authors Notes:
I had to post this sooner than I wanted, I needed to get that Brittany Spears thing out of everyone's mind.
Ok, 2 down, many more to go. Sorry for the pacing but I wanted to keep things slow at first to try to keep everyone in character. Rest assured the pace will pick up now that I have most of my important plot points in place. It may seem unimportant but I had to get them some food and water, can't have them starving to death half way through the fic, plus I was able to use that time to get some plot working.
I could see Asuka acting immature in the food situation. She purposely went to his level in an effort to make Shinji see how stupid he was acting.
Before I get a bunch of emails, remember Shinji put up the tent so he had plenty of time to hide the gun.
OK, who thought that we might get a lemon there at the end? Come on, their both dirty, tired, and still have no idea how they feel about one another. Don't worry though next episode we're going for some fan service and get Asuka out of that plug suit!
Again another word of big thanks to my prereaders, Random1377 and 20eva, again for finding and fixing a multitude of mistakes. Those guys are the best.
As always, C & C is appreciated, please contact me at nergalfanfic@yahoo.com.
A division of Nergal Heavy Industries proudly presents:
NEON GENESIS EVANGELION: RENAISSANCE
Chapter Two "THE FLAMES ARE ALL GONE BUT THE PAIN LINGERS ON"
by Ryoma
Disclaimer: Characters from Neon Genesis Evangelion have been used without permission. All characters contained in this work are copyright GAINAX, Project EVA, Movic, AD Vision and Manga Entertainment. All proceeds generated by this fic will be distributed to them, I promise.
Shinji and Asuka resumed their journey toward the wasteland that had once been the thriving city of Tokyo-3. Slowly they trudged, away from the beach, away from the Eva Series, away from the tombstones, and most of all away from the past. Neither of them looked back, their previous lives were over, the future lay in front of them. The sun had final broken free of the horizon and commenced its daily voyage across the heavens. A new day had begun, with new opportunities, new adventures, new experiences, and a new purpose.
Onward they pressed, through the ruins of the Geofront and Tokyo-3. Anything the N2 mines missed, Lillith cleared when she tore her egg out of the ground beneath them. The upshot of this was that most of the large rubble had settled back into the hole where the Geofront once was. This made the passage away from the beach difficult, yet still possible. Although the landscape had radically changed, the few remaining landmarks provided sufficient information for Shinji to determine their location. His frequent excursions throughout Tokyo-3 and the surrounding countryside had finally proven their worth. At least that is what Asuka told him, as they headed toward the hills that marked the natural border of Tokyo-3. As the soft sound of the surf faded, nothing could be heard, other than their breathing and the thump of their footsteps. They could see no signs of life, no animals, no plants, not even a slight breeze. The world didn't just seem dead; it felt frozen as if time itself had stopped. Both of them seemed to realize this at the same time, but neither told the other, not wanting to depress an already difficult situation. They persisted on as the sun continued its voyage above them.
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It seemed like a logical place to stop, Shinji thought. Asuka's pace had been steadily slowing and the sun was getting close to the horizon in front of them. They had been walking for what seemed like hours, and although their pace was slow, they had made good progress. The ocean was a distant sight below.
Shinji stopped walking. "I think we should stop for a rest."
Shinji's voice seemed to snap her from a daze. "Yah, sure, I mean I can keep going...but if you need to rest, I'll stop." Asuka wiped the sweat off her brow with her bandaged arm.
Shinji carefully released Asuka from his grip and she settled down on a large stone beside the road they had been walking on. Based on the fact that many cars and trucks were parked here, Shinji decided it appeared to be a military roadblock or something. He stood on the rock and surveyed the area.
"I'm going to take a quick look around and find us some shelter before it gets too late." Shinji jumped down off the rock and began to walk away.
"Your not going to leave me here, are you?" Asuka pleaded and began to stretch her legs toward the ground in anticipation of walking again.
"I'm just going to scout around a little. We haven't much time before it gets dark."
"Then I'll come too, you'll need my help." Asuka tried to stand up, but the brief respite from walking had caused her legs to tense up and cramp.
"You stay and rest, I'm not going far," Shinji replied while still walking away.
"Ok, but stay within earshot in case you need me...I mean it!" Asuka pulled her legs up to her chest and let out a little sigh of relief.
Shinji began to move about the assorted vehicles on the road, Although most were the standard cars and small trucks he had seen hundreds of times in Tokyo-3, a line of large olive green trucks stood off to the side and grabbed his attention. Shinji changed his direction and headed off for the last in the line.
Asuka picked her head up and looked for Shinji. Squinting she could just make out his appearance down the road. "What do you see?" she shouted.
"They look like some type of army vehicles, they're not marked but most likely the Japanese Strategic Self Defense Force," he replied. The Japanese Strategic Self Defense Force. Shinji's face grimaced as those words seemed to finally register. These trucks may have carried the NERV invasion force, he pondered as he remembered the events of yesterday. The invasion of NERV, the bodies of both NERV and JSSDF troops lying dead at his feet. Those three soldiers that were going to kill him and Misato saving him at the last moment, only to die later. The memories all returned in a flood of emotion. Why had it happened? Could he have stopped it?
Shinji stared at the line of trucks for a long moment. His right hand balled into a fist. The anger in him rose to a fevered pitch. Bastards, he thought, they were killing innocent people, they killed Misato...I'm glad their gone!
He moved around from the back of the truck to the driver's side door. His resentment providing the catalyst, he reflexively ripped the door open.
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
"What? Shinji, what is it!" Asuka struggled to her feet, his screams blocking out any pain she was feeling as she struggled toward Shinji's voice. What the hell was going on? she wondered frantically. I've got to help him.
"Get off me...you murderer...Help...Help me...him get off!"
After few anxious moments, Asuka finally made it to the back of the truck. A look of fear was frozen on her face as she stopped and took a deep breath. She raised her good hand and prepared herself for battle. She knew she couldn't fight with one arm, she needed a weapon. Asuka quickly scanned the truck. Seeing a shovel mounted to the back of the truck, she grabbed it and with her good arm, held it over her head. After one last breath, she jumped out from behind the truck, ready to repel the attack. Surprised at not seeing anyone, she looked down to the source of the struggle.
"Shinji what are you doing?" Asuka screamed as she looked down and saw Shinji wrestling with what appeared to be a one piece Army uniform.
"Shinji, hey, dork its not real! It's not even a person!"
Even in his panicked state, her words seemed to reach him. Shinji stopped flailing his arms and opened his eyes. Much to his dismay he looked down to see a tangled and torn jumpsuit resting on his chest. Slowly he gazed upward to the figure standing over him. He witnessed certain redheaded girl's face slowly turn from a look of terror to a look of disgust or amusement, he couldn't be sure.
"You scared the hell out of me for nothing, ...You idiot!" She slowly lowered her "weapon" and placed it on the ground.
"I'm sorry Asuka. It's just that I opened the door and this thing fell on me... I thought it was real." Shinji grasped the uniform and tossed it aside. He sat up and began to brush himself off.
"Shinji, it's as real as all the other pieces of clothing that we have passed." Asuka looked down at the jumpsuit, now resting at the side of the road. "Why the hell do you freak out over this one?"
Shinji stood up and pondered his reply for a minute. "When I saw the trucks, I got to remembering the whole NERV invasion, I guess figured that these were the same troops."
"So you decide to take it out on their clothes?" Asuka sardonically asks.
"I guess I was scared. You...You weren't there. It was horrible. The killing...the blood...Misato. They were killing everybody...they almost killed me," Shinji whispered.
A frown formed on Asuka's face, "I'm sorry...I didn't know."
Shinji looked away, toward the distant ocean, "It was terrible. I never realized that people could be so cruel to one another."
"It's all right, you don't have to tell me, I understand," Asuka apologized.
Shinji turned back and faced her, "No, I have to start facing my past...I have to start taking responsibility for my actions...all of them!"
Asuka was taken back by Shinji's tone. She looked at him quizzically before finally speaking, "Why did they attack NERV? I mean do you know why it happened?"
"I don't know for sure...Misato told me it was prevent the Third Impact...but why? No one wanted Third Impact, most weren't even fighting back, and these bastards still killed them...no mercy, only death." Shinji looked down at the ground, his head hung low. "The only justice here is that the son's of bitches that ordered the attack are gone too," Shinji quietly remarked.
Asuka moved in toward Shinji and placed her hand on his shoulder. "That must have awful, what did you while this was going on?"
"I did nothing...stupid Shinji Ikari, world famous Eva pilot, cowers in the corner while everyone around him dies. I am pathetic." He pulled himself away, allowing her hand to fall back to her side.
"Shinji, you're being too hard on yourself," she said as again she tried to reach out for him, but he turned himself away.
"I don't think so, I didn't even try to help. If anything I got in the way. Misato would have been fine if she didn't have to come get me. I'm nothing but a coward." Shinji now completely turned away from Asuka.
"You're not a soldier, you couldn't be expected to fight. Why do you think you're a coward, Shinji?" Asuka moved in behind him and wrapped her arm around his waist.
"I guess I sort of hoped that they would kill me too." He tried to move forward out of the embrace, but was surprised at the strength in the arm holding him. He struggled a bit, but quickly resigned himself to remain held. "No, I didn't sort of hope they would kill me, I wanted them to kill me!"
Asuka leaned forward and brought her head next to his and carefully placed her chin on his shoulder, "Why, why would you wish to die?" she whispered.
Shinji stared blankly ahead while Asuka waited for a reply. She tightened her grip on him, hoping to perhaps squeeze a response out of him. She was about to pose the question again when he finally spoke, "I guess I had given up all hope, I no longer had anything left. You hated me, Rei...well at least the Rei I knew was gone, Misato ignored me, Kaji, Touji, Kensuke, Kaworu, everyone had left me. I had nothing, no one cared, I was just tired of living with the pain. I had no reason to live anymore."
Asuka continued to hold him tightly as she carefully reviewed Shinji's last statement. She thought to herself about the current mental state of her companion. She had never seen him this low, even after the whole Touji thing. Random thoughts began to enter her mind, what did he mean about Wondergirl?, who was Kaworu?, many questions but no answers. She made a mental note to ask him later. Something he said seemed to resonate in her head, 'You hated me.' She began to ponder that idea as her head sunk down as she loosened her clench a little. She knew she didn't hate him, for that she was sure, but yet what were her feelings toward him? And why should he care either way, she knew he didn't care about her after the way she treated him for so long. He was only with her because he didn't have a choice. She decided she would need to think of something to keep him going, for both of their sakes. She continued deep in thought until her face suddenly lit up.
"Well now you do!" Asuka optimistically replied while releasing her grip on him.
"Do what?" Shinji turned around and gave her a puzzled look.
"Have a reason to live." She turned around and began to straighten out her hair.
"Huh?"
She continued to fluff and straighten her hair as best she could given the circumstances. She had to look her best. She knew it always helps if the salesperson is attractive. The consequences were too great, she had to close this deal. Everything depended on it. There was no way he could reject her, she hoped. Satisfied that she had done all she could, she finally turned around and stared directly into his eyes. "You have to help me get better, stupid. That will be your reason to live."
Shinji gazed blankly back at her.
"Yah, I guess so," Shinji sighed
His halfhearted answer didn't sit well with his companion, "Guess so? Look you need to take care of me until I am better, understand?" She began to pace back and forth in front of him. "When I'm better you can do whatever you think you need to do, understand." As soon as she stopped, she mentally admonished herself for yelling at the boy. She couldn't understand why she did it, but she resolved to try harder not to in the future.
"Yes." Shinji began to stare at the ground.
"Do you understand!" Asuka grabbed Shinji's chin and forced him to look at her.
"YES."
"Good, so...do you think these guys carried any food or water?" she asked after releasing her grip. She began to walk toward the back of the truck.
Shinji stood in shock for a moment, trying to understand exactly what had just happened. A chorus of German profanities broke his silent reflection as Asuka's attempt to enter the back of the truck ended with her seated on the ground.
"Asuka, you can't climb up there with one arm, you're going to hurt yourself. I'll take a look."
With that Shinji carefully picked up the discarded jumpsuit and placed it back into the front seat and shut the door. They had both decided that it would be wrong to disturb any clothing if possible. Asuka had said that it was comparable to grave desecration, and Shinji had to agree. However, they also had agreed that anything that wasn't in the piles was free game so Shinji jumped into the back of the truck.
"What do you see?" Asuka eagerly asked.
"Well there's a bunch of equipment, radio's, helmets and stuff." Asuka could hear the sounds of drawers and cabinets being opened and shut emanate from the truck.
"Water, I found some water bottles."
"Great, hand one out here, I'm dying of thirst!" Asuka moved to the opening in anticipation.
"Hold on, let me finish checking everything first."
Asuka crossed her arms and began tapping her foot on the ground. "You better find something good for making me wait."
A few moments later Shinji's head emerged from the canvas opening in back of the truck, "How's this?" In his hands was a box filled with water bottles, energy bars and instant meals.
"The Japanese Army sure was prepared." Asuka exclaimed at seeing the bounty in front of her. She had not really felt it before, but now the pangs of hunger suddenly washed over her. She had been too busy to feel hungry, but now with relief so close at hand, her stomach growled audibly.
"Yeah, I guess so." Shinji supposed. He jumped out and moved over to the front of a small car, which was parked next to the truck. He placed the box down and they both sat on the edge of hood. Shinji watched in silence as his companion began to tear open one energy bar after another, each one destined to silence the German's stomach. After a handful of bars, Asuka finally looked up, instant meal in one hand, water bottle in the other, "Are you going to eat or what?" she asked, though it was barely recognizable given her mouth full of food.
"Huh?"
Asuka swallowed her food and continued, "I said are you going to eat? How can you not be hungry?" She took a quick chug of the water before moving it back to her bandaged hand.
"I...I guess I was just watching you..." Shinji stammered.
Asuka put down her food and water. "Watching me? What are you stupid?"
"No, its just that it reminded me of all the times we used to eat together at Misato's." A slight frown appeared on Shinji's face.
"Shinji," Asuka sighed, "you have to let it go."
"Let what go?"
Asuka glanced away, "the past..."
"Why, I still have good memories of the past, memories that I don't want to forget." Shinji continued to stare at her.
Asuka looked back at him. "Memories are fine, but you still have to keep on living, you still have to move on...you have to keep going Shinji, the past is done, it can never be changed. All you can do is continue on and learn from your mistakes."
Shinji paused and then replied, "I guess your right, but we still had some good times you must admit."
Asuka sat for a minute, "I never knew anyone could drink that much beer."
"Or eat that much take out, how did she ever keep her figure?"
"Figures you would notice her figure, you pervert," Asuka jokingly replied. The two children enjoyed a mutual laugh as visions of their former guardian danced in their heads.
Shinji gazed away from her, "you sound like Misato."
"Huh...what!" Asuka unconsciously began to fret about.
"Misato said the same thing to me right before I ran away the last time," Shinji replied without looking back.
"Well...I guess I underestimated how smart she was, we great minds think alike you know." A smug smile appeared on her face.
Shinji thought for a moment, "maybe...but,"
"But what, but what?" her smile had disappeared, replaced by an expression of bewilderment.
Again, Shinji paused and then replied, "I think she was drunk at the time."
Asuka's face contorted, "Huh...what do you...errrr!"
Shinji turned back around to reveal a beaming smile, one that Asuka told herself she had not seen in a long time. A smile she admitted she had missed seeing on him.
"Sorr..."
"Don't say it, Third Child," Asuka hissed, "If you say sorry I'll...I'll..."
"You'll what, Miss one arm, one eye? Bleed on me." Shinji was obviously enjoying this little exchange.
Asuka on the other hand was not prepared for his newfound boldness and she had been taken by surprise, "Well just remember I don't need two arms to kick your ass."
"If you're going to kick my ass, its not your arms that I need to worry about." Shinji was laughing.
"Rest assured that my arms, I mean my legs are just fine and...you know what I mean!" Asuka was becoming upset.
"Sorr..." Shinji could literally feel the glare she directed at him. "Never mind."
"Just shut up and eat your food, Idiot!" Asuka huffed.
Asuka picked up her water and food and began to resume her meal. Fighting with Shinji took a lot of energy and she needed to replace it. She continued eating and staring out to the distant ocean.
After a few minutes passed she spoke up. "Hey Shinji can you pass me another meal?" As she turned to receive it, she noticed that Shinji still had not taken anything to eat. "What are you waiting for, eat something."
Shinji's mood seemed serious again, "I told you, I'm not hungry."
"You have to be hungry, it's been a whole day." Asuka's voice had turned to a pleading tone.
"I just don't want to eat." Shinji looked away toward the distant coast.
Asuka took a moment or two, then erupted, "Eat some food you jerk, you need your strength to take care of me!"
"I said I am not hungry, stop worrying about me, you never did before!" Shinji replied without turning around.
Asuka raised her hand and pointed, prepared to say something, only to stop before any words emerged. She froze in this position for a minute, mouth open, finger pointing at an oblivious Shinji, deep in thought. "I may have only one arm and one eye, but I can still teach you a lesson."
Turning back to face her, Shinji replied, "Like what?"
"I'm going to teach you a lesson about not listening to me. I am going to eat all of your portion of the food and then when you realize that you are hungry, you will have nothing to eat."
Shinji looked down at still impressive pile of food. Asuka's meal had barely put a dent in the collection of foodstuffs and by his rough estimate there was enough food for at least 3 more servings, maybe more. "Go ahead and try."
"Oh I'll do it and when I do you'll be sorry." Asuka quickly replied.
Shinji had listened to just about enough. "Asuka, look at all this food. If by some miracle you were able to hold it all down, your plug suit would explode at the seams. That is of course unless you're using your Type B suit." The image of Asuka in her Type B suit flashed into his mind. A slight smile formed on his face as her remembered how embarrassed she was when he was the one to help her out of the core plug after the mission to Mt. Asama.
Asuka seemed to blush as the same image ran through her mind. "Oh you dork, don't remind me of that...that thing. I looked like a big red beach ball." They both let out a slight chuckle as an image of a helpless Asuka rolling around on a deserted beach simultaneously entered both of their minds.
"Well, if you try to eat all this food, you'll look just like that again." Shinji crossed his arms with a satisfied smile on his face.
Asuka glanced at Shinji, then back at the food, then back to Shinji. He was right, she couldn't eat all that food. She knew that she couldn't let him win, after all she was doing this for his own good. She decided to try a different approach, "Well, you're right for once, I can't eat all that food."
Shinji seemed quite proud of himself for finally outsmarting the girl.
"However, I may not be able to eat all that food, but nothing is stopping me from doing this." Asuka took one of the energy bars out of the pile and carefully ripped the top open. She removed the bar and stared at Shinji while she placed the bar in her mouth. Shinji was taken back when, instead of eating it, she removed it and placed it back into it wrapper. She placed that one aside and grabbed the next item in the pile.
"Asuka, what the hell are you doing?"
"Well, I can't eat them all, so I'll do the next best thing. I'm going to lick every piece of food so you'll be to disgusted to eat it. Then it will all be mine and you will go hungry." Asuka had the look of victory on her face as she started opening the next bar.
Shinji grabbed her arm before she could put the bar in her mouth. "You're acting like a child. I just don't feel like eating, that's all."
Asuka stared at Shinji, then pulled her arm free. "Fine, if you don't want to eat, then don't eat. I don't care...but if you don't stop me soon, you are going to have to find your own food." As before she placed the bar in her mouth and repeated her previous procedure. "Yup, all this fine food will be off limits to Shinji."
"What are you talking about, I can still eat it, its not like your spit is poison." Shinji actually had to think about that for a second.
Asuka sensed the tide turning and she pressed her attack, "Poison?!?!, Nothing as drastic as that but...I know that you wouldn't dare eat something that's been in a girl's mouth. Your too afraid of girls to do something like that."
Shinji began to edge closer to Asuka. "Stop trying to goad me, I said I'm not hungry, I don't want to eat."
"Yup, too afraid of girls." Asuka could feel victory within reach.
"I am not!" Shinji was right next to Asuka now, his face inches from hers, their eyes locked, their lips tantalizingly close.
Asuka delivered the coup de grace, "Such a pathetic little boy."
Shinji stared directly into her unbandaged eye and slowly moved his hand over to hers. His hand delicately caressed the top of her hand, causing her to startle slightly and release a small gasp. He held her hand for just a moment and then quickly pulled out the open energy bar. His eyes never moving from her he spoke, "Fine, I'll eat if it will shut you up!" With that he took a large bite out of the bar, carefully chewing it as he continued his staring contest with her. Two bites later, he had devoured the entire thing. "There are you happy now, I'm eating!" The grabbed another one and tore it open.
Asuka did not reply but rather turned away to return to her own food, a small smile escaping despite her best efforts to hold it in. Thank you, Shinji she thought to herself.
They both continued eating in silence.
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Shinji got up, stretched and turned to Asuka, "We had better get a move on, it won't be light too much longer." Asuka nodded her head in agreement.
"I want to check these trucks to see if there's anything else of use before we move on. I kind of stopped looking after I found the food and water."
Asuka scanned the line of vehicles, "Tell you what Shinji, you check this one again, it seems to be the supply truck, and I'll give the other ones a quick check."
Shinji looked worriedly at her, "Are you sure you'll be alright?"
"Yeah, the food really helped, I feel much better, look." Asuka moved her bandaged arm around and smiled at Shinji. He returned the grin and she performed a quick little spin to emphasize her point. "See, nothing to worry about, now come on, the sun's starting to go down."
Shinji followed her gaze and could see that in fact the sun was just touching the distant horizon. "Ok, grab anything you think we can use, stuff like food and water, matches,..."
Asuka interrupted him, "I'm not stupid, you know. I am the college graduate here."
"Oh, yeah...right...sorry." Shinji cringed as she tightened her hands into fists and shook them by her side.
"Arrgh, just get going, idiot!" Asuka turned and stormed away.
Shinji jumped into the truck and started his search. He found a large canvas bag and deciding that it would prove useful, he emptied its contents. He began stuffing the bag with items he found in the first set of cabinets he searched. He put the remaining food and water, a flashlight, and a lighter into the bag. Spotting a tent at the bottom of the cabinets, he placed it next to the entrance of the truck. He moved to the other side of the truck and commenced searching the cabinets on that side. He opened the first door and found a stack of large blankets. He quickly grabbed 2 and then stuffed them into the bag. Shinji stopped for a moment of thought, and then with a sly smirk he placed one back. He continued on to the second cabinet and finding it only filled with adult sized uniforms, he shut the door and proceeded to the last cabinet. Causally he opened the door and gasped. Inside he could see a myriad of different weapons and their associated accessories.
"Wow, rifles, machine guns, hey that looks like a rocket launcher. Boy, if Kensuke were here he would have had a field day with this stuff." Shinji then noticed the locks, which held the aforementioned items in place. He pulled on the restraints but to no avail, they were made to keep unauthorized personnel out, and he certainly didn't belong in there. Shinji sighed and began to shut the door when he caught it out of the corner of his eye. It's polished chrome surface stood out amongst the black and olive drab surrounding it. He slowly bent down and cradled the weapon in his hands. It felt cold and unforgiving he thought, but yet he suddenly sensed powerful. He could feel his heart racing as he deliberately brought the gun up to his face, squinting as the little sunlight that was present glinted off into his eyes. A grin, small at first but growing larger by the minute, appeared on his face as he twisted it with a perverse fascination, examining his toy from every possible angle. He held it like he had seen Misato do before, feeling its deceptive, but gratifying weight transfer from his hand to his arm and throughout his body. He softly flicked the safety switch and gently gripped the trigger...
Asuka had been feeling pretty good about herself. She had not found a lot of supplies, but then again she hadn't expected to find much. After all, stupid Shinji got to look in the supply truck while she got stuck looking in the smaller command vehicles. Still, she had in her opinion done a good job, finding a lighter, some water, a first aid kit, a blanket, and most important a map. Shinji may know the area around Tokyo-3, but she doubted he knew much about the rest of Japan. She sighed as she finished checking the last vehicle and found nothing useful. She loudly slammed the door and yelled, "Hey, Shinji, are you done yet?"
She started walking back toward the supply truck. "Hey, dork, I said I'm done and as usual I did pretty well." The continued silence began to grate on her nerves. "What the hell are you doing in there?..."
Shinji jumped as he heard Asuka's approaching voice. She seemed to snap him out of the trance that the handgun had put him under. He shook his head and carefully put the safety switch back on. Her second call was much closer than the first and he began to panic. She wouldn't understand, it's for our protection, he thought, I'll be careful, I...I may need this someday. He could hear her footsteps directly outside and he hastily placed the gun to his chest while turning his back to her.
Poking her head through the canvas door Asuka bellowed, "Idiot, what in the hell is taking you so long?"
"Nothing, I'm just finishing," Shinji replied while he knelt down behind the canvas bag and warily wrapped the gun in the blanket.
Asuka strained to see what Shinji was doing. "Hey, what do you have there? Is that what I think it is?" His heart skipped a beat as he stuffed the blanket into the bag. He had been caught and he mentally prepared himself for her tirade. "Oh great, you found a blanket, at least you aren't completely stupid."
Shinji breathed out sigh of relief as he nervously cinched the top shut. He slung the heavy bag over his shoulder and then turned around to face his cohort. Much to Shinji's surprise, Asuka had disappeared from the opening. "Figures," he whispered, "the minute her presence could actually be useful, she's no where to be found." He smiled to himself, savoring his little joke, before trudging to the opening.
Outside, Asuka quickly rummaged through her knapsack of supplies. She could hear Shinji drop the bag on the ground as she finally found what she was looking for. "Asuka, where are you?"
In one fluid motion she pulled something out of her knapsack and threw it under the truck. "I'll be right there," she answered to Shinji's calling. She began to refasten the clasps on the knapsack when she saw him thrust his head around the side of the truck and begin walking toward her. "I'm just making sure that everything's secure, don't want to lose anything ya know."
"Here, let me help you." Shinji knelt down next to her. "Hey you got some great stuff, first aid kit, water...is that a map, excellent." He looked at her beaming face.
"Yes...well you know, I just figured that...um we could use this stuff." His compliments had caught her off guard.
Shinji stood up and held out his hand. Asuka looked at it for a moment and then took it as he helped her to her feet. "Well, I don't think we are going to find any shelter before dark, but I found a tent so I guess that will have to do."
"Well, it's better than nothing I guess."...
---------
Shinji had finally finished putting up the tent just as the last remnants of the sun disappeared beneath the horizon. Asuka had made a campfire out of some army manuals and dead wood and was seated on a log in front of it. Although the day had been quite hot, and the chill of the night had not yet settled in, she found the warmth of the fire very comforting. She looked around at the scenery, the clear skies providing a beautiful view of the pale white moon just beginning to rise above the ocean. She had been feeling very uneasy as the darkness began to creep in around her. She told herself that must be why she made the fire as large as she did. Shinji joined her at the fire, sitting across from her on the ground.
"There's plenty of room over her, you know." Asuka groaned upon seeing Shinji seated on the ground.
"Well, I wasn't sure that you would want me to sit on your seat."
"Shinji, we need to talk," Asuka sighed.
"What?" Shinji cocked his head in an effort to improve his hearing.
"We need to talk."
"Um...Ok." Shinji's voice had to rise over the snapping and hissing of the flames between them. "What do you want to talk about?"
"Well...!," Asuka started to reply but cut her response short. She stared through the fire directly into his eyes. "Get over here, I'm not going to scream to talk to you!"
Shinji sighed and then grudgingly got up and sat down next to the girl, still keeping a noticeable gap between himself and Asuka.
"Thank you, " she spoke softly. She began to stare at the flames dancing in the fire. "Shinji, we have a couple of things we need to work out."
"Yes." Shinji turned to gaze out to the ocean.
"First off, whether you like it or not we have to stick together. I don't know how long until I, or even if I'll ever, fully heal." Asuka shuttered at that thought but continued on, "I hate not being able to help as much as I should, but I promise I will do all that I can. I don't want to die here, Shinji. I fought too hard yesterday to throw it away now. It would have been so easy to just give in but I didn't. I refuse to believe that we are the only ones left, but either way I don't plan on dying for a long time. Anyway, until I can fend for myself, I need you to stay," Asuka's voice threatened to crack,"...regardless of your feelings toward me."
Shinji had been nodding along with Asuka's comments until she reached the end. He turned back toward her with a look of bewilderment. My feelings toward her?, he thought, she's the one who will leave, she's the one who hates me.
In the dim light of the fire, Asuka missed the expression on Shinji's face and assuming his silence confirmed his agreement, continued on, "Now that we have that out of the way, we need to get the sleeping arrangements squared away because I am dead tired."
They both stared at the tent, then at each other, and then back to the tent. Seconds turned into minutes as they both peered into the darkness that emerged from within the structure. Asuka finally broke the spell, "Well, we really should get some sleep."
"Y...Yes, I mean it's getting late." Shinji stammered.
"Yeah, its getting late...so are you ready?"
"Ready for what?" Shinji quizzed.
"To go to sleep, stupid." Asuka huffed.
"Oh, right...I'll get ready" Shinji stood up and looked around for a decent place to put down.
Asuka watched him with bafflement as Shinji carefully scanned the immediate area, and ultimately settling on a space, laid down. "Good night Asuka."
Asuka hung her down and shook it from side to side and with a groan she walked over to him. Standing over the reclined Shinji she crossed her arms over her chest and glared down at him. He slowly opened one eye and looked at her, "What?"
"What are you doing? I said it was time to go to sleep." Asuka shouted.
"That's what I'm trying to do, if you would leave me alone," Shinji closed his eye again.
"What about the tent?"
"What about it, it's all ready for you, I even laid out the blanket for you."
"Well, you aren't going to sleep in there?"
Shinji opened his eyes. "I didn't think that you would want me to sleep in there with you."
Asuka's hands slipped down by her side and she offered her good one to Shinji. "Come here, idiot." Shinji took Asuka's hand and stood up. "Well, you did carry most of the stuff, and you did most of the work putting it up, so it would only be fair to allow you to stay in it with me."
Shinji dusted off his clothes as they walked to the tent. "Thanks."
"Nothing to thank me for, remember we have to start working together."
"Yes"
"Good, now here are the rules". Asuka began wagging her finger at Shinji to emphasize her point. "No snoring, no checking out my body, no touching, no hentai fantasies about Wondergirl, no perverted acts, no funny stuff, and most of all no kissing, you got me."
"W...what fantasies?...Huh?" Shinji spluttered before remembering the point of the whole exchange. "Well, yes I guess"
"Yes, what?"
"Yes I will follow all of your rules!" Shinji stood straight at attention in a mock salute.
"All of them?" Asuka probed.
"Yes, all of them."
A frown appeared on Asuka's face as she turned away. "Such a boring little boy," she commented as she climbed into the tent leaving a stunned Shinji behind.
Shinji stood in quiet reflection at her last comment. Was she teasing him, or was there something else? He just couldn't understand her sometimes he decided.
His stupor was broken by Asuka's voice. "Get your ass in gear, Shinji, it's getting cold in here with the door open."
Shinji quickly entered the tent and zipped the door shut. Although it was quite dark inside, just enough light from the fire permeated the walls that he could make out where Asuka had chose to lay down and he quietly moved to the other side. Picking the farthest point possible from her, he laid down and instinctively grabbed the blanket and pulled it over himself. Much to his surprise, the blanket stopped in mid flight so he pulled again in an attempt to free it from its impediment. This time it flew gracefully over him and he promptly wrapped himself up in it.
Shinji didn't understand much German, and the few words he knew were not for use in polite conversation, so when he began to hear a string of German rise up behind him he knew it could not be good. Sitting straight up he slowly turned to the source of the commotion.
"Get your own blanket, dork." Shinji could feel a tug and he surrendered his short-lived prize.
Shinji laid staring at the ceiling of the tent for a few moments, however soon the chill began to set in. He got up and rummaged through the canvas bag, suddenly remembering his brilliant move of leaving a blanket behind. He closed the bag with a sigh and he laid back down. He tightened into a ball as he began to shiver from the chill.
He felt a presence kneeling over him. "Remember, we have to work together, Shinji." Asuka said as she carefully placed half of the blanket over him. Shinji could feel her warmth still in the wool as he wrapped it around himself.
"Thanks."
"It's nothing, but since we only have one blanket, we are going to have to get closer together." Shinji could feel someone stirring behind him as she worked herself closer. He flinched as part of her touched him. "Jeez relax, I'm not going to hurt you." He could now feel her right against his back, snuggling in tight against him. After one last moment of adjustment, the movement behind him ceased except for the periodic raising and lowering of her chest.
"Asuka?"
"Yes," she replied in a callous tone.
"Well...um..."
"Spit it out you dork! I'm trying to sleep here."
"It's just that you're breaking one of your own rules."
"Huh, what?"
"You know, no touching."
"Well, I guess there's no choice given the circumstances," she retorted, "But the other rules still apply, got it!"
"All of them?"
"Yes, all of them"
Shinji wrapped the covers tightly around himself. He waited for a long time, until he thought that she would be just about asleep, "Such a boring little girl."
He had been expecting the worst. He knew it would be bad, possibly painful but at the least it would be bad. No one ever embarrassed Asuka Langley Sohryu without extreme physical or emotional pain. Now it was the waiting that was getting to him, waiting for the inevitable comeback to his comment. Instead of a flood of fists and insults, Shinji was surprised to feel a gentle shaking behind him. A shaking as if someone as crying; yet he knew that wasn't the case. The shaking grew faster and larger as the girl could no longer hold it in any longer. Shinji smiled as her laughter broke through the silence of night.
"There's hope for you yet, idiot."
The two children enjoyed a brief moment of joy in what had been difficult day. Soon their mutual laughter died down and they settled down for a good night's sleep. Shinji flinched, just a little, as Asuka seemed to draw him close, much closer than before. He for the first time in a long time he felt good. He wasn't upset about the events of the previous days, he didn't feel alone, and most of all, for the first time since Third Impact, he felt that maybe, just maybe there was a reason to hope. With that thought fresh in his mind, a smiling Shinji closed his eyes and nodded off to fight his nightmares on their own terms.
Outside next to the smoldering fire, a solitary figure stood. Her eyes were as red as the glowing embers and they fixed on the tent where the two children lay sleeping. A slight smile could be seen on her lips as she watched them slumber. "Sleep well children, you have but started the path and there are many obstacles ahead."
Authors Notes:
I had to post this sooner than I wanted, I needed to get that Brittany Spears thing out of everyone's mind.
Ok, 2 down, many more to go. Sorry for the pacing but I wanted to keep things slow at first to try to keep everyone in character. Rest assured the pace will pick up now that I have most of my important plot points in place. It may seem unimportant but I had to get them some food and water, can't have them starving to death half way through the fic, plus I was able to use that time to get some plot working.
I could see Asuka acting immature in the food situation. She purposely went to his level in an effort to make Shinji see how stupid he was acting.
Before I get a bunch of emails, remember Shinji put up the tent so he had plenty of time to hide the gun.
OK, who thought that we might get a lemon there at the end? Come on, their both dirty, tired, and still have no idea how they feel about one another. Don't worry though next episode we're going for some fan service and get Asuka out of that plug suit!
Again another word of big thanks to my prereaders, Random1377 and 20eva, again for finding and fixing a multitude of mistakes. Those guys are the best.
As always, C & C is appreciated, please contact me at nergalfanfic@yahoo.com.