Chapter2:"the plot thickens thickly thicker."
A/n: so as there will not be any confusions as to who is doing what I have organized a solution.
Person's body/Person INSIDE that body.
So zim/dib is DIB but inside ZIM'S body and Dib/ZIM is Dib's body but zim is talking THROUGH it.
When they are referred to as just 'DIB' or 'Zim' the names are in reference to the information on the LEFT of the slashmark. This means that this is the BODY that is saying those words, but the other person is speaking THROUGH that person.
So when I say ZIM it is ZIM'S voice coming from ZIM'S body, but it is REALLY DIB at heart who is expressing that thought, and vice versa.
I hope that is enough to make your simple pathetic brains comprehend. Enjoy the conclusion!!
Red and Purple gaze in utter disgust and regret at the phony Zim, who stares in utter bewilderment.
"The...the alien LEADERS!! I-I I..I can't...I don't know what to say....." Dib thought to himself. He just stared at the screens stupidly with his mouth open.
Purple: Sigh. SO! How are......THINGS Zim??(lets get this OVER with..)
Red: (interupting) Didn't u report YESTERDAY!?! Sheesh. You Mooch!
Zim:..Mah..mah...mah...mah..
Red and Purple look at each other.
Purple: Something wrong??
Zim shakes his head.
Zim: PLEASE Masters. Tell me what was my glorious mission again?? Use excruiciating details!!
REd: Huh?? But WHY Zim??
Zim: I FORGOT OKAY!? Jeesh. What do I LOOK like a calculator?
Purple(to red): psst..whats a calculator??
Red(to purple):Apparently the kid has got some kind of amnesia problem..I think its some kind of sandwich.
Purple(to red): you think EVERYTHING is a sandwich!!
Red(to Zim): How could YOU of ALL Invaders FORGET your MISSION???
Zim: I am sorry my allknowing masters. But please forgive me!!
Purple: Sigh..you'd think he'd be a bit more sadistic at this point. Okay, you have been assigned a reconnaisance mission to EARTH, for Operation Impending DOOM 2, and-
Red covers his mouth, and whispers in his ear.
Purple's antenae stick up, and he grins.
Zim: GAAASP! Operation Impending DOOM 2!?? Thats-.....uh, that name doesnt ring a bell, do u think u could give me a brief description of my..objectives??
Zim shakes his head in terror. Things looked VERY grim for the human race..oh WHY didn't they LISTEN to his pleas?? And NOW it was beyond too late..
The Tallest giggle.
Red: okaaaaaaay, ZIM. You're 'mission' is to make sure every single olive on the planet is dipped in orange marmalade!!
.............
Zim:.........WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!?!?
Red: THATS your Mission ZIM. Operation Impending DOOM! D-o-o-m stands for "Dipping Olives in Orange Marmalade!" we just SAY DOOM so that our adversaries don't know about our objective. GOT IT?? DO NOT FAIL US, OR YOU SHALL SUFFER MUCH TORMENT!!
He winks at Purple, then slyly grins at Zim.
Zim:*antenae drooping* uh...OKaaaaaaaay.....Riiiiiighht..that makes PERFECT sense...*scartches head*
And...all this schemeing and planning and evil plots, all are devoted to finding these OLIVES and DIPPING them in maramlade??
Purple: ORANGE marmalade!! ORANGE!
The Tallest burst into hysterical tears of laughter and Red falls out of his chair.
Red: AHAHHAH! Ohhhhh My SPINE!-HAHHA!
The screens fade out and leave a VERY puzzled, astounded and annoyed DIb in Zim's body.
Zim: How does one become 'Lord of all Humans' by dipping olives in..MARMALADE?? Yuckkkkkk...I suppose thats some sort of ALIEN delicacy, or maybe poision.oh its all so confusing..when this is all done and over, I shall hafta do more reasearch.
Back at the Unexplained's-
Gaz: DAAAAAAAD! Dib's bothering me!!
The Professor: SOn! Leave your sister alone!! You know how angry she gets when she hasn't had her gummi bears..
Dib: Uh...right.
(perhaps these 'gummi bears' are some kind of energy supplier..)
Dib walks up to his room, thinking the BATHROOM is his BEDROOM.
"Ah! Invader Gaz has installed a teleportation device as well I see.."
He means the toilet.
He walks over to the toilet bowl and steps in. He flushes, but achieves nothing but getting his clothes all wet.
He flushes again.
And again.
Gaz walks sulkingly over in her goth-style PJs. They have Z? pattern on the sleeves, and cobwebs all over the rest.
She has also blue minus-the-nail bunny slippers on.
"Dib. I hafta brush my teeth, finish pooping already!"
"Justa sec Gaz!" FLUSH.
Gaz: rrr, DIB hurry up, I gotta make TOO ya know!!
FLUSH.
Dib: GASP! Hey!! I'm not burning up from this water!! WOOHOO!!
He starts to dance on top of the toilet splashing and flushing happily over and over again.
Gaz: STOP PEEING ON YOURSELF DIB AND LET ME IN ALREADY!!
Gaz's eyes for the first time show their whites, and she gnashes her teeth.
She puts her fist through the door.
Dib:And NOW I'm worried.
He vainly tries flushing the toilet one more time, and opens the bathroom door, revealing Dib still in his normal clothes
and sopping wet from waist down.
Gaz's eyes widen even bigger. She steps waaaaay back from Dib, and slams the door behind her.
"There's something wrong with your teleportation device!!!" howls Dib outside the bathroom door.
Gaz(inside the bathroom staring at herself in the mirrour brushing her teeth) rolls her eyes. The toothbrush cup has a picture of Psycho Doughboy on it.
Dib goes to the next room over, which is Dib's.
UFOzines, plastic alien toys, autopsy tools, fact/fiction books, comics, graphs and lunar charts litter the rug, glow in the dark stars and planets surrond the walls, and the blanket has a large lemon eyed alien and the words "We are not alone." on it.
Dib looks round.
"where is the tranquilizer vat??"
Tranquilizer vats are like those tubes Zim often portrays himself in, but are meant for sleeping in.
He flops down on the bed, and grabs a remote control.
"hmm..wonder what THIS does?"
He switches on the TV.
On the Tv screen is an advertisement.
"whats round and gooey, yet nice to crunch, oh so chocaltly,and FUN to munch?
Why its Bliss-Ballz! Oooh yeah! Malted Bliss Ballz! Melts in your mouth, brings the most deleicious bliss into your digestion system!! YEAH! Your tastebuds will
think they died and went to Heaven!!
Blis Ballz, Bliss Ballz, oh so squishy sweet!
Bliss Ballz, Bliss Ballz, there the snacks we command you to buy and eat! Yeah!"
A kid wearing an angel outfit gestures a box of Bliss Ballz at the Tv screen.
Dib/Zim turns the TV off.
"That...must be..the Earthenoids leader!! Ahaaaaaa! So! It appears these dirty humans, their oreders are to seek out these brown globes of nourishment and devour as many as possible..hmmmmm! Odd mission indeed.."
Dib takes out an Irken stylus and sketch pad from his school backpack.
He waves the stylus over the screen Irken letters write themselves down onto the purple screen.
"Perhaps, it is a source of FUEL, not unlike those Gummi Bears mentioned earlier..or MAYBE it is some sort of orginazation..or maybe..*yawn* Ahh,.....I'm EXHAUSTED."
He flops down onto the bed.
3 hours later-
RAT TAT TAT TAT!!
TAP TAP TAP!!
Dib wakes up in his bed, it is 2 in the morning!
HE sees Zim outside his window, glaring at him.
He lifts open the window.
Zim: Okay Zim. Enough of this..do you REALLY expect me to beleive that your MISSION is to dip OLIVES in MARMALADE!?
Dib's eyes flutter open weakly.
"Wha?? Ngg..."
Zim grabs Dib by the collar.
"FIEND!! YOU LIE!! YOUR WHOLE RACE LIES!! Tried to throw me off COURSE did you!? Well I am SMARTERV than THAT ZIM!! And tonight YOU are going to help switch our bodies BACK! You're coming with me."
Zim's spider legs shoot out and snatch Dib from his window.
"GAAAAAAAAH!! Let go! Let go!! I don't have any Bliss Ballz!! And I am NOT changing back!!"
Dib struggles against Zim even though it is futile.
Zim: BLISS Ballz?! What has CANDY got to do with this!? I dont want candy!! Stop trying to trick me Zim, this story is confusing enough..
Dib: ugghhh.....your...master...Bliss Boy..he......commanded.....me.....get.....candy..
Zim drops Dib and laughs hysterically.
"Y-you s-saw a TV commercial and thot...HAHHAHAHH!!! AHAHHAHHAHA!"
Dib: GASP HEY!! That is MY LAUGH!! GRRRR!
Zim: Well, one things fer sure..*spider legs shoot out again, Dib gasps* It SUREis fun being the VILLAIN for a change! AHA! AHAHHAHHA!!!
Dib: NOOO!! *he rushes off,into some bushes, panting, jungle survival music plays*
Zim's eyes glow red manacingly.
"I KNOW you are hiding ZIM. How does it FEEL huh?! HUH!? Seems I have PICKED UP on some of your strategys ZIM, and I have PLAYED with a couple of your toys as well. AHHAHHA!"
Dib chokes back and struggles to get up. He trips over a tree root and collapses.
Dib: ACHK! NOOOOO!!
Zim:AHHAHAAHA! AHAHAHAA!
*All goes black*
Much Later.
They are at the Skool, Dib is unconcious and is being carried by this strange cyborg creature with 3 legs and 1 eye. It obiedantly follows Zim whereever he goes.
They approach the locked doors. Zim pulls out a tiny laser and cuts out an opening. He and the cyborg leap through, Zim pulls over his eyes red vision goggles.
All the lasers are made visible. He gently and cautiously walks over them, and he snaps his fingers, the robot mimics him.
"Finally, I am beginng to have some LUCK with this body.." mutters Zim/Dib.
They get to Mrs. Bitters room.
"ah! Finally!"
The cyborg creature lifts up Dib's limp body and places him in front of the classroom. The cyborg creature then retreats.
A/n: this cyborg resembles the creature from JTHM which holds God's soda and armchair.
Zim: Now Zim! We are once and for all going to change bodies!!
Dib: uhhggggg..Fine. Lets get this over with..(besides, the sooner I get back the sooner I shall be with Invader Gaz, and the sooner I shall beat the armada at destroying this sphere ofMmmm!!!DIRT!!!!!!
Dib takes out an Irken raygun and blasts the door with a red beam. There is a gaping melted hole in the wall.
They march into the deserted dark classroom, a draft blows some papers nearby.
They back against eachother in fear.
The background goes completely black.
Two slit-like eyes glow white and stare down at the two boys. There is a frightening hissing noise, and a pink snake tongue darts from between the two eyes.
Dib/Zim: uh Dib..I mean..Zim?
Zim/Dib: Yes?
Dib/Zim: Do you think we-
Zim/Dib: are b-being w-w-WATCHED???
Music starts getting more panicy.
Two large worm-like tentacles(think wall thing of JTHM #5 issue) spiral back behind them, but they take no notice.
The slit eyes grow larger and a cheshire cat grin lights up under them.
Zim and Dib: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!!!!
They run in terror, the background is completely silhouetted, but the tiled floor shows, they run on it like an endless treadmill, the two eyes the grin, and the 'worms' following them.
DIB/Zim: YAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH! YAAAAAaaaaaaa! Help me! HELP ME!!
ZIm/Dib: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!! Wait!! WAAAAAAAAAIIIIIT!
*deep satanic bass laughter echoes behind them*
They dive for the CONFISCATION closet.
Zim/Dib wiggles the doorknob in a panic, but it is locked.
"STAND BACK!!" howls Dib/Zim. He takes out another raygun and blows up the door. They see a combination lock on a metal door.
Zim/Dib: THIS IS MY STREAK! You distract it!!!
Zim pulls out a stephoscope and listens to the sounds of the lock. Dib yells and curses and groans but Zim refuses to listen. The monster gets closer.
Dib: eh-heh heh heh. AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
He runs in the opposite direction.
The monster swerves over to the left following Dib's trail.
Zim meanwhile is working on the safe, Dib freaking out and blasting the monster with a useless raygun in the background.
Tink-tipt tip tip tip TONG! Tip tip tip tip tip whizzzzz whizzz.TONG! Whizzz whiiizz whizz..*Zim/Dib holds his breath* TONG!!
Zim: AHA!
The safe door rises up, and reveals a dark tunnel.
Zim: C'mon ZIM!! HURRY UP!! I need you ALIVE!(there is always a first time for everything.)
Dib runs screaming from the monster, and dives for the tiny exit.
Zim follows, and the monster shoots for the porthole, but gets stuck. They back up against the side of teh tunnel the shadow of the monster on them writhes.
The monster wails, and finally retreats.
They scurry down the tunnel, on hands and knees, getting covered with dirt and dust clouds.
Dib suddenly grabs Zim.
"OMy Tallest..."
He points in horror at skeletal remains covered in spiderwebs.(the bones are dressed like Mr.Vasquez himself. Hi Jhoenen!)
The Chihuahua of MADNESS is fidgeting with them.
Zim's eyes go HUGE and they crawl past nervously. The Chihuahhua's eyes follow them.
They reach a clear area, and stop for a rest.
"pant pant pantpant..you DO realize Dib, that when this is all over, I resort back to killing u." growled Dib/Zim.
"Oh but don't forget, ZIM. Now that we have switched bodies, I have a WORLD'S worth of proof about you Zim. AND I have picked up on a few of your battle tatics.."
Zim/Dib grins his zipper-like grin at Dib/zim.
Dib: OH yes, that is TRUE pitiful monkey beast. But you'l also remember, that once you go back to your FIIIIIIILLLTHY original state, you'll be the miserable larvae u once were, with the danger-span of a small euglena..whose the smart one NOW..ZIM??"
Zim/Dib gasps.
Dib: OH, and as an added bonus, I'd like to let you know, that Invader Gaz and I, we shall be TWICE the threat I was alone to you. You'd better watch your stinkin' BACK Dib, you are NOT going to win this battle..*he grins his "i'mgonnafindoutrightnow!" look.
Zim: In-Invader GAZ!!? What have you DONE with my sister!? Oh, you diabolical MENACE!!
Dib: Well, who says I'm gonna change back anyways?
Zim: it was YOUR idea! And-And-and..
Dib:Not so smart after all, ARE we, my little sapien!!? Oh yes, I have BIIIG plans for your SISTER DIB UNEXPLAINED..
Zim: THAT DOES IT.
They wrestle each other, and roll farther and farther down the dark tunnel.
Dib/zim is punched in the face by Zim's hard gloved fist, his glasses break.
Zim laughs loud and evil.
Dib:uhggg...NOOO!! Filthbeast! Dirty primitive creature!! You think THIS sort of a silly handicap will drench my victory!?
He leaps ontop of Zim and dunks his head into a muddy puddle.
His skin starts to burn.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Dib laughs madly.
Suddenly they look up to see the pile of lost treasures, heaps of gold coins and jewels mingled with ordinary skool items.
And-
"THE HELMETS!"
They leap for the helmets.
Zim puts on Dib's and Dib puts on Zim's.
Zim:HA! I'm going to be the FIRST to find all your TRUE secrets ZIM!!! AHAHAH!
Dib: pant pant pant, OH NO U DONT!! I am going to find YOUR knowledge FIRST diseased little EARTH PRIMATE!!
The helmets glow but fade out.
Dib: OH no!
Zim; What happened!! They dont work!! Im still you and youre still ME!
Dib: IDIOT!! WHO says we're switching bodies anyway!?!*throws away purple helmet.*
Zim gasps. "you cant do that!"
"watch me!"
Dib unleashes his spider-legs, and positions himself twice his height.
Zim: GASP! You stole MY legs!!
Dib: they are MY legs and I stole them BACK, b/c u are too gulible and stupid to notice!
GET BACK HERE DIB!
Zim/dib scurries away.
Dib: You fool! I'm STAYING IN THIS BODY!! And i'm going to make sure you won't live to see me and Gaz rule this world!!
Dib/zim rushes over to Zim/dib.
"GRRRRR!!"
Zim leaps behind a hill of coins, and gasps.
Dib appears on the 'golden horizon.'
Dib/Zim: Prepare to breathe your last, ZIM!! Or shall I say- DIB!?! NWA! AHAH!!
A/N: Zim is still wearing the blue helmet he made when he was in his normal body.
Dib pulls out his ray gun and shoots the gold coins, which meld into a heaping pile of gold goo.
Zim dashes away and pulls out another ray gun out of his backpack.
He fires a blue blast which short circuts the legs, and the real Zim in Dib's body falls into heap of treasure.
Dib takes a black metal stick out of his left boot.
He presses a button.
It turns into a white light saber!
He charges at Zim,and Zim fires but misses-
-as Dib whacks the ray gun out of Zim's hand.
Frantically, Zim runs away, and Dib chases him on foot waving the saber.
Zim hides under a large statue of Athena. He looks everywhere for something to aid him.
He notices a similar looking white metal stick.
He presses a button and dark light spouts from it! Its a black light saber!!
"Hmm. thats convient."
Dib is crouching on top of the statue. He suddenly leaps off and aims for Zim's head.
"DIE YOU ALIEN MONSTER!!"howls Zim below him.
Dib: AHAHHA! YEAAAAAGH!
Zim positions himself, and the white and black sabers roar and clash with each other.
They bounce off each other and pose. They have a staredown, Dib with the black and white stick, and Zim with the white and black stick.
Zim screeches and leaps into the air, and freezes.
Matrix like camera spins around them, and unfreeze.
Zim misses Dib by a hair.
Dib rolls over, and stands up again.
His eyes glance at the discarded purple helmet. Then he smirks.
He darts for it.
"I'll make sure I get this body for keeps by just DESTROYING the silly helmet DIB!!"
"NO! I wont let you!" howls Zim.
Zim dives for Dib, and knocks him down, pinning him.
The black saber rolls out of Dib's grasp and shuts off.
"NO!!" Dib wails.
Furiously, Zim makes a last effort and snatches the purple helmet and shoves it down over Dib's eyes.
Dib struggles, but can't under Zim's weight.
Zim twists a small knob on his Dib helmet, which projects blue datawaves. He reaches for the tiny lever on the purple horned zim helmet and pulls.
Red datawaves shoot out and once again meld with the blue to form violet, and repel each other.
Dib moans his last sigh.
"Nooooo.....So.....close....so..." His eyes close and his head sags.
Zim smiles feebly.
"Sleep Zim. Sleep."
Then he faints and rolls over off Dib's body.
The hand clutching the white light saber unfolds, and it rolls down.
The laser beam is dangerously close to Dib's head.
The Chihuahua of MADNESS suddenly appears.
He bats the saber an inch closer.
It fries the purple helmet on Dib's head to a crisp, and his hair along with it.
The Chihuahua fades away.
* * * * *
* * * * *
Dib wakes up. REAL DIB this time..
He gasps and feels his body all over. He whoops with joy and flops down onto the pile of gold coins making a 'snow angel' in them, unaware of the smouldering mess on his head..until..
"Sniff Sniff..what's that burning scent???"
His eyes suddenly stare up at his head.
"YAAAA! MY HAIR MY HAIR!! NOOO!"
The helmet is bunrt completely away, and no trace is left except the two 'horn' antenaes, which the paint has burnt black too.
As for the rest of his hair, it has been COMPLETELY burned away without a trace, except for a large patch around each of the horns.
So basically, he looks EXACTLY like Johnny the Homicidal Maniac from Issue's 6-7!!(except he's puny and has glasses.)
Zim comes to, taking the Dib helmet off.
Zim: Fool!! Look what you've done!! Now I'LL have to go to that MEASLY class of theirs and you.uh...you..
His jaw drops. Dib laughs heartily.
"THATS NOT FAIR!! NOT AT ALL!!" He jumps up and down angrilly on Dib's invention.
"In your face!! ZIM!!"
Zim suddenly pauses and stops smashing the blue helmet.
Camera view is behind Dib's shoulder, revealing he still has Zim's shell-like backpack on.
"Gimme my robot arms back."
"No."
"GIVE-
"You're gonna hafta FIGHT for them ZIM."
"THEmmmmmmmm!!"
"I think I could get used to THIS.."
"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!"
Dib starts laughing and the robo arms shoot out, he runs round the entire treasure room, leaping from hill to hill.
Zim gasps for air running as fast as his puny Irk legs can go.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Meanwhile outside in the classroom-
"And so class, when you grow up, you will LEARN that living is one of the most horrible experiences you can go through.
As well as- YOU THERE!! GIVE ME THAT!!"
She slithers over to a child's desk. It is Gaz, playing her Gameslave.
She trys to pry it from Gaz's hands. She's stuck like glue to it.
"Give me the GAME GAz, yor do u wish to be CONFISCATED ALSO???"
Gaz growls at the teacher like a rabid dog.
She hisses angrilly like a wild cat.
She levitates Gaz by the collar with some eerie dark aura, her eyes glowing white. Gaz's hair writhes and coils like Medusa hair but she seems ignorant of everything but the GameSlave.
"YOU-ssssssss- young lady must be confiscated as well, being that you TOO like myself heed the CALL..and THEREFORE the Principal is SsssssssSIMPLY NOT worth bothering with. As you know he-"
She floats Gaz up higher, hissing softly into her ear.
"is one of USssssssss,my dear."
Gaz stares up at Mrs. Bitters sourly.
"Put me down."
Mrs. Bitter's eyes stare very hard at Gaz. She saunters over to the Confiscation wall, not seeming aware of the smouldering wreck in the wall.
Gaz is dragged alongside her in the dark cloud, sitting crosslegged in midair playing on her Gameslave.
"Hey, I got past Zybog!" she cries, her eyes lighting up.
They walk through the tunnel and they reach the area where Zim and Dib are chasing each other.
They freeze.
Gaz suddenly widens her eyes.
"Zim!! You are SO DEAD!! You made me lose my concetration, and I lost my chance of saving the game!! RRRRRRRR!!! I HATE YOU!! You. WILL. PAY!!!"
Mrs. Bitter's hisses.
Zim(blushing): Uh,heh heh...
Dib: .........Mommy..
Zim suddenly yanks out the shell from Dib's back and sticks it on himself. Two legs reach for the ceiling and pull him up into the darkness leaving Dib alone with the teacher of DOOM and Gaz.
The shadow of Mrs. Bitters looms over him and stares him down gnashing her teeth, snake tongue protuding from her mouth.
Gaz snickers, camera zooms in on her face so we cannot see either Dib or the Teacher.
Ripping, hissing, and bloody murder screaming sounds ensue.
Gaz breaks into a tiny smile, then she frowns again.
Screen goes blank.
Dib's voice:...Owch...That really HURT..
*in creepy smoke letters*
THE END
_?
Z?
~_'
A/n: so as there will not be any confusions as to who is doing what I have organized a solution.
Person's body/Person INSIDE that body.
So zim/dib is DIB but inside ZIM'S body and Dib/ZIM is Dib's body but zim is talking THROUGH it.
When they are referred to as just 'DIB' or 'Zim' the names are in reference to the information on the LEFT of the slashmark. This means that this is the BODY that is saying those words, but the other person is speaking THROUGH that person.
So when I say ZIM it is ZIM'S voice coming from ZIM'S body, but it is REALLY DIB at heart who is expressing that thought, and vice versa.
I hope that is enough to make your simple pathetic brains comprehend. Enjoy the conclusion!!
Red and Purple gaze in utter disgust and regret at the phony Zim, who stares in utter bewilderment.
"The...the alien LEADERS!! I-I I..I can't...I don't know what to say....." Dib thought to himself. He just stared at the screens stupidly with his mouth open.
Purple: Sigh. SO! How are......THINGS Zim??(lets get this OVER with..)
Red: (interupting) Didn't u report YESTERDAY!?! Sheesh. You Mooch!
Zim:..Mah..mah...mah...mah..
Red and Purple look at each other.
Purple: Something wrong??
Zim shakes his head.
Zim: PLEASE Masters. Tell me what was my glorious mission again?? Use excruiciating details!!
REd: Huh?? But WHY Zim??
Zim: I FORGOT OKAY!? Jeesh. What do I LOOK like a calculator?
Purple(to red): psst..whats a calculator??
Red(to purple):Apparently the kid has got some kind of amnesia problem..I think its some kind of sandwich.
Purple(to red): you think EVERYTHING is a sandwich!!
Red(to Zim): How could YOU of ALL Invaders FORGET your MISSION???
Zim: I am sorry my allknowing masters. But please forgive me!!
Purple: Sigh..you'd think he'd be a bit more sadistic at this point. Okay, you have been assigned a reconnaisance mission to EARTH, for Operation Impending DOOM 2, and-
Red covers his mouth, and whispers in his ear.
Purple's antenae stick up, and he grins.
Zim: GAAASP! Operation Impending DOOM 2!?? Thats-.....uh, that name doesnt ring a bell, do u think u could give me a brief description of my..objectives??
Zim shakes his head in terror. Things looked VERY grim for the human race..oh WHY didn't they LISTEN to his pleas?? And NOW it was beyond too late..
The Tallest giggle.
Red: okaaaaaaay, ZIM. You're 'mission' is to make sure every single olive on the planet is dipped in orange marmalade!!
.............
Zim:.........WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!?!?
Red: THATS your Mission ZIM. Operation Impending DOOM! D-o-o-m stands for "Dipping Olives in Orange Marmalade!" we just SAY DOOM so that our adversaries don't know about our objective. GOT IT?? DO NOT FAIL US, OR YOU SHALL SUFFER MUCH TORMENT!!
He winks at Purple, then slyly grins at Zim.
Zim:*antenae drooping* uh...OKaaaaaaaay.....Riiiiiighht..that makes PERFECT sense...*scartches head*
And...all this schemeing and planning and evil plots, all are devoted to finding these OLIVES and DIPPING them in maramlade??
Purple: ORANGE marmalade!! ORANGE!
The Tallest burst into hysterical tears of laughter and Red falls out of his chair.
Red: AHAHHAH! Ohhhhh My SPINE!-HAHHA!
The screens fade out and leave a VERY puzzled, astounded and annoyed DIb in Zim's body.
Zim: How does one become 'Lord of all Humans' by dipping olives in..MARMALADE?? Yuckkkkkk...I suppose thats some sort of ALIEN delicacy, or maybe poision.oh its all so confusing..when this is all done and over, I shall hafta do more reasearch.
Back at the Unexplained's-
Gaz: DAAAAAAAD! Dib's bothering me!!
The Professor: SOn! Leave your sister alone!! You know how angry she gets when she hasn't had her gummi bears..
Dib: Uh...right.
(perhaps these 'gummi bears' are some kind of energy supplier..)
Dib walks up to his room, thinking the BATHROOM is his BEDROOM.
"Ah! Invader Gaz has installed a teleportation device as well I see.."
He means the toilet.
He walks over to the toilet bowl and steps in. He flushes, but achieves nothing but getting his clothes all wet.
He flushes again.
And again.
Gaz walks sulkingly over in her goth-style PJs. They have Z? pattern on the sleeves, and cobwebs all over the rest.
She has also blue minus-the-nail bunny slippers on.
"Dib. I hafta brush my teeth, finish pooping already!"
"Justa sec Gaz!" FLUSH.
Gaz: rrr, DIB hurry up, I gotta make TOO ya know!!
FLUSH.
Dib: GASP! Hey!! I'm not burning up from this water!! WOOHOO!!
He starts to dance on top of the toilet splashing and flushing happily over and over again.
Gaz: STOP PEEING ON YOURSELF DIB AND LET ME IN ALREADY!!
Gaz's eyes for the first time show their whites, and she gnashes her teeth.
She puts her fist through the door.
Dib:And NOW I'm worried.
He vainly tries flushing the toilet one more time, and opens the bathroom door, revealing Dib still in his normal clothes
and sopping wet from waist down.
Gaz's eyes widen even bigger. She steps waaaaay back from Dib, and slams the door behind her.
"There's something wrong with your teleportation device!!!" howls Dib outside the bathroom door.
Gaz(inside the bathroom staring at herself in the mirrour brushing her teeth) rolls her eyes. The toothbrush cup has a picture of Psycho Doughboy on it.
Dib goes to the next room over, which is Dib's.
UFOzines, plastic alien toys, autopsy tools, fact/fiction books, comics, graphs and lunar charts litter the rug, glow in the dark stars and planets surrond the walls, and the blanket has a large lemon eyed alien and the words "We are not alone." on it.
Dib looks round.
"where is the tranquilizer vat??"
Tranquilizer vats are like those tubes Zim often portrays himself in, but are meant for sleeping in.
He flops down on the bed, and grabs a remote control.
"hmm..wonder what THIS does?"
He switches on the TV.
On the Tv screen is an advertisement.
"whats round and gooey, yet nice to crunch, oh so chocaltly,and FUN to munch?
Why its Bliss-Ballz! Oooh yeah! Malted Bliss Ballz! Melts in your mouth, brings the most deleicious bliss into your digestion system!! YEAH! Your tastebuds will
think they died and went to Heaven!!
Blis Ballz, Bliss Ballz, oh so squishy sweet!
Bliss Ballz, Bliss Ballz, there the snacks we command you to buy and eat! Yeah!"
A kid wearing an angel outfit gestures a box of Bliss Ballz at the Tv screen.
Dib/Zim turns the TV off.
"That...must be..the Earthenoids leader!! Ahaaaaaa! So! It appears these dirty humans, their oreders are to seek out these brown globes of nourishment and devour as many as possible..hmmmmm! Odd mission indeed.."
Dib takes out an Irken stylus and sketch pad from his school backpack.
He waves the stylus over the screen Irken letters write themselves down onto the purple screen.
"Perhaps, it is a source of FUEL, not unlike those Gummi Bears mentioned earlier..or MAYBE it is some sort of orginazation..or maybe..*yawn* Ahh,.....I'm EXHAUSTED."
He flops down onto the bed.
3 hours later-
RAT TAT TAT TAT!!
TAP TAP TAP!!
Dib wakes up in his bed, it is 2 in the morning!
HE sees Zim outside his window, glaring at him.
He lifts open the window.
Zim: Okay Zim. Enough of this..do you REALLY expect me to beleive that your MISSION is to dip OLIVES in MARMALADE!?
Dib's eyes flutter open weakly.
"Wha?? Ngg..."
Zim grabs Dib by the collar.
"FIEND!! YOU LIE!! YOUR WHOLE RACE LIES!! Tried to throw me off COURSE did you!? Well I am SMARTERV than THAT ZIM!! And tonight YOU are going to help switch our bodies BACK! You're coming with me."
Zim's spider legs shoot out and snatch Dib from his window.
"GAAAAAAAAH!! Let go! Let go!! I don't have any Bliss Ballz!! And I am NOT changing back!!"
Dib struggles against Zim even though it is futile.
Zim: BLISS Ballz?! What has CANDY got to do with this!? I dont want candy!! Stop trying to trick me Zim, this story is confusing enough..
Dib: ugghhh.....your...master...Bliss Boy..he......commanded.....me.....get.....candy..
Zim drops Dib and laughs hysterically.
"Y-you s-saw a TV commercial and thot...HAHHAHAHH!!! AHAHHAHHAHA!"
Dib: GASP HEY!! That is MY LAUGH!! GRRRR!
Zim: Well, one things fer sure..*spider legs shoot out again, Dib gasps* It SUREis fun being the VILLAIN for a change! AHA! AHAHHAHHA!!!
Dib: NOOO!! *he rushes off,into some bushes, panting, jungle survival music plays*
Zim's eyes glow red manacingly.
"I KNOW you are hiding ZIM. How does it FEEL huh?! HUH!? Seems I have PICKED UP on some of your strategys ZIM, and I have PLAYED with a couple of your toys as well. AHHAHHA!"
Dib chokes back and struggles to get up. He trips over a tree root and collapses.
Dib: ACHK! NOOOOO!!
Zim:AHHAHAAHA! AHAHAHAA!
*All goes black*
Much Later.
They are at the Skool, Dib is unconcious and is being carried by this strange cyborg creature with 3 legs and 1 eye. It obiedantly follows Zim whereever he goes.
They approach the locked doors. Zim pulls out a tiny laser and cuts out an opening. He and the cyborg leap through, Zim pulls over his eyes red vision goggles.
All the lasers are made visible. He gently and cautiously walks over them, and he snaps his fingers, the robot mimics him.
"Finally, I am beginng to have some LUCK with this body.." mutters Zim/Dib.
They get to Mrs. Bitters room.
"ah! Finally!"
The cyborg creature lifts up Dib's limp body and places him in front of the classroom. The cyborg creature then retreats.
A/n: this cyborg resembles the creature from JTHM which holds God's soda and armchair.
Zim: Now Zim! We are once and for all going to change bodies!!
Dib: uhhggggg..Fine. Lets get this over with..(besides, the sooner I get back the sooner I shall be with Invader Gaz, and the sooner I shall beat the armada at destroying this sphere ofMmmm!!!DIRT!!!!!!
Dib takes out an Irken raygun and blasts the door with a red beam. There is a gaping melted hole in the wall.
They march into the deserted dark classroom, a draft blows some papers nearby.
They back against eachother in fear.
The background goes completely black.
Two slit-like eyes glow white and stare down at the two boys. There is a frightening hissing noise, and a pink snake tongue darts from between the two eyes.
Dib/Zim: uh Dib..I mean..Zim?
Zim/Dib: Yes?
Dib/Zim: Do you think we-
Zim/Dib: are b-being w-w-WATCHED???
Music starts getting more panicy.
Two large worm-like tentacles(think wall thing of JTHM #5 issue) spiral back behind them, but they take no notice.
The slit eyes grow larger and a cheshire cat grin lights up under them.
Zim and Dib: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!!!!
They run in terror, the background is completely silhouetted, but the tiled floor shows, they run on it like an endless treadmill, the two eyes the grin, and the 'worms' following them.
DIB/Zim: YAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH! YAAAAAaaaaaaa! Help me! HELP ME!!
ZIm/Dib: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!! Wait!! WAAAAAAAAAIIIIIT!
*deep satanic bass laughter echoes behind them*
They dive for the CONFISCATION closet.
Zim/Dib wiggles the doorknob in a panic, but it is locked.
"STAND BACK!!" howls Dib/Zim. He takes out another raygun and blows up the door. They see a combination lock on a metal door.
Zim/Dib: THIS IS MY STREAK! You distract it!!!
Zim pulls out a stephoscope and listens to the sounds of the lock. Dib yells and curses and groans but Zim refuses to listen. The monster gets closer.
Dib: eh-heh heh heh. AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
He runs in the opposite direction.
The monster swerves over to the left following Dib's trail.
Zim meanwhile is working on the safe, Dib freaking out and blasting the monster with a useless raygun in the background.
Tink-tipt tip tip tip TONG! Tip tip tip tip tip whizzzzz whizzz.TONG! Whizzz whiiizz whizz..*Zim/Dib holds his breath* TONG!!
Zim: AHA!
The safe door rises up, and reveals a dark tunnel.
Zim: C'mon ZIM!! HURRY UP!! I need you ALIVE!(there is always a first time for everything.)
Dib runs screaming from the monster, and dives for the tiny exit.
Zim follows, and the monster shoots for the porthole, but gets stuck. They back up against the side of teh tunnel the shadow of the monster on them writhes.
The monster wails, and finally retreats.
They scurry down the tunnel, on hands and knees, getting covered with dirt and dust clouds.
Dib suddenly grabs Zim.
"OMy Tallest..."
He points in horror at skeletal remains covered in spiderwebs.(the bones are dressed like Mr.Vasquez himself. Hi Jhoenen!)
The Chihuahua of MADNESS is fidgeting with them.
Zim's eyes go HUGE and they crawl past nervously. The Chihuahhua's eyes follow them.
They reach a clear area, and stop for a rest.
"pant pant pantpant..you DO realize Dib, that when this is all over, I resort back to killing u." growled Dib/Zim.
"Oh but don't forget, ZIM. Now that we have switched bodies, I have a WORLD'S worth of proof about you Zim. AND I have picked up on a few of your battle tatics.."
Zim/Dib grins his zipper-like grin at Dib/zim.
Dib: OH yes, that is TRUE pitiful monkey beast. But you'l also remember, that once you go back to your FIIIIIIILLLTHY original state, you'll be the miserable larvae u once were, with the danger-span of a small euglena..whose the smart one NOW..ZIM??"
Zim/Dib gasps.
Dib: OH, and as an added bonus, I'd like to let you know, that Invader Gaz and I, we shall be TWICE the threat I was alone to you. You'd better watch your stinkin' BACK Dib, you are NOT going to win this battle..*he grins his "i'mgonnafindoutrightnow!" look.
Zim: In-Invader GAZ!!? What have you DONE with my sister!? Oh, you diabolical MENACE!!
Dib: Well, who says I'm gonna change back anyways?
Zim: it was YOUR idea! And-And-and..
Dib:Not so smart after all, ARE we, my little sapien!!? Oh yes, I have BIIIG plans for your SISTER DIB UNEXPLAINED..
Zim: THAT DOES IT.
They wrestle each other, and roll farther and farther down the dark tunnel.
Dib/zim is punched in the face by Zim's hard gloved fist, his glasses break.
Zim laughs loud and evil.
Dib:uhggg...NOOO!! Filthbeast! Dirty primitive creature!! You think THIS sort of a silly handicap will drench my victory!?
He leaps ontop of Zim and dunks his head into a muddy puddle.
His skin starts to burn.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Dib laughs madly.
Suddenly they look up to see the pile of lost treasures, heaps of gold coins and jewels mingled with ordinary skool items.
And-
"THE HELMETS!"
They leap for the helmets.
Zim puts on Dib's and Dib puts on Zim's.
Zim:HA! I'm going to be the FIRST to find all your TRUE secrets ZIM!!! AHAHAH!
Dib: pant pant pant, OH NO U DONT!! I am going to find YOUR knowledge FIRST diseased little EARTH PRIMATE!!
The helmets glow but fade out.
Dib: OH no!
Zim; What happened!! They dont work!! Im still you and youre still ME!
Dib: IDIOT!! WHO says we're switching bodies anyway!?!*throws away purple helmet.*
Zim gasps. "you cant do that!"
"watch me!"
Dib unleashes his spider-legs, and positions himself twice his height.
Zim: GASP! You stole MY legs!!
Dib: they are MY legs and I stole them BACK, b/c u are too gulible and stupid to notice!
GET BACK HERE DIB!
Zim/dib scurries away.
Dib: You fool! I'm STAYING IN THIS BODY!! And i'm going to make sure you won't live to see me and Gaz rule this world!!
Dib/zim rushes over to Zim/dib.
"GRRRRR!!"
Zim leaps behind a hill of coins, and gasps.
Dib appears on the 'golden horizon.'
Dib/Zim: Prepare to breathe your last, ZIM!! Or shall I say- DIB!?! NWA! AHAH!!
A/N: Zim is still wearing the blue helmet he made when he was in his normal body.
Dib pulls out his ray gun and shoots the gold coins, which meld into a heaping pile of gold goo.
Zim dashes away and pulls out another ray gun out of his backpack.
He fires a blue blast which short circuts the legs, and the real Zim in Dib's body falls into heap of treasure.
Dib takes a black metal stick out of his left boot.
He presses a button.
It turns into a white light saber!
He charges at Zim,and Zim fires but misses-
-as Dib whacks the ray gun out of Zim's hand.
Frantically, Zim runs away, and Dib chases him on foot waving the saber.
Zim hides under a large statue of Athena. He looks everywhere for something to aid him.
He notices a similar looking white metal stick.
He presses a button and dark light spouts from it! Its a black light saber!!
"Hmm. thats convient."
Dib is crouching on top of the statue. He suddenly leaps off and aims for Zim's head.
"DIE YOU ALIEN MONSTER!!"howls Zim below him.
Dib: AHAHHA! YEAAAAAGH!
Zim positions himself, and the white and black sabers roar and clash with each other.
They bounce off each other and pose. They have a staredown, Dib with the black and white stick, and Zim with the white and black stick.
Zim screeches and leaps into the air, and freezes.
Matrix like camera spins around them, and unfreeze.
Zim misses Dib by a hair.
Dib rolls over, and stands up again.
His eyes glance at the discarded purple helmet. Then he smirks.
He darts for it.
"I'll make sure I get this body for keeps by just DESTROYING the silly helmet DIB!!"
"NO! I wont let you!" howls Zim.
Zim dives for Dib, and knocks him down, pinning him.
The black saber rolls out of Dib's grasp and shuts off.
"NO!!" Dib wails.
Furiously, Zim makes a last effort and snatches the purple helmet and shoves it down over Dib's eyes.
Dib struggles, but can't under Zim's weight.
Zim twists a small knob on his Dib helmet, which projects blue datawaves. He reaches for the tiny lever on the purple horned zim helmet and pulls.
Red datawaves shoot out and once again meld with the blue to form violet, and repel each other.
Dib moans his last sigh.
"Nooooo.....So.....close....so..." His eyes close and his head sags.
Zim smiles feebly.
"Sleep Zim. Sleep."
Then he faints and rolls over off Dib's body.
The hand clutching the white light saber unfolds, and it rolls down.
The laser beam is dangerously close to Dib's head.
The Chihuahua of MADNESS suddenly appears.
He bats the saber an inch closer.
It fries the purple helmet on Dib's head to a crisp, and his hair along with it.
The Chihuahua fades away.
* * * * *
* * * * *
Dib wakes up. REAL DIB this time..
He gasps and feels his body all over. He whoops with joy and flops down onto the pile of gold coins making a 'snow angel' in them, unaware of the smouldering mess on his head..until..
"Sniff Sniff..what's that burning scent???"
His eyes suddenly stare up at his head.
"YAAAA! MY HAIR MY HAIR!! NOOO!"
The helmet is bunrt completely away, and no trace is left except the two 'horn' antenaes, which the paint has burnt black too.
As for the rest of his hair, it has been COMPLETELY burned away without a trace, except for a large patch around each of the horns.
So basically, he looks EXACTLY like Johnny the Homicidal Maniac from Issue's 6-7!!(except he's puny and has glasses.)
Zim comes to, taking the Dib helmet off.
Zim: Fool!! Look what you've done!! Now I'LL have to go to that MEASLY class of theirs and you.uh...you..
His jaw drops. Dib laughs heartily.
"THATS NOT FAIR!! NOT AT ALL!!" He jumps up and down angrilly on Dib's invention.
"In your face!! ZIM!!"
Zim suddenly pauses and stops smashing the blue helmet.
Camera view is behind Dib's shoulder, revealing he still has Zim's shell-like backpack on.
"Gimme my robot arms back."
"No."
"GIVE-
"You're gonna hafta FIGHT for them ZIM."
"THEmmmmmmmm!!"
"I think I could get used to THIS.."
"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!"
Dib starts laughing and the robo arms shoot out, he runs round the entire treasure room, leaping from hill to hill.
Zim gasps for air running as fast as his puny Irk legs can go.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Meanwhile outside in the classroom-
"And so class, when you grow up, you will LEARN that living is one of the most horrible experiences you can go through.
As well as- YOU THERE!! GIVE ME THAT!!"
She slithers over to a child's desk. It is Gaz, playing her Gameslave.
She trys to pry it from Gaz's hands. She's stuck like glue to it.
"Give me the GAME GAz, yor do u wish to be CONFISCATED ALSO???"
Gaz growls at the teacher like a rabid dog.
She hisses angrilly like a wild cat.
She levitates Gaz by the collar with some eerie dark aura, her eyes glowing white. Gaz's hair writhes and coils like Medusa hair but she seems ignorant of everything but the GameSlave.
"YOU-ssssssss- young lady must be confiscated as well, being that you TOO like myself heed the CALL..and THEREFORE the Principal is SsssssssSIMPLY NOT worth bothering with. As you know he-"
She floats Gaz up higher, hissing softly into her ear.
"is one of USssssssss,my dear."
Gaz stares up at Mrs. Bitters sourly.
"Put me down."
Mrs. Bitter's eyes stare very hard at Gaz. She saunters over to the Confiscation wall, not seeming aware of the smouldering wreck in the wall.
Gaz is dragged alongside her in the dark cloud, sitting crosslegged in midair playing on her Gameslave.
"Hey, I got past Zybog!" she cries, her eyes lighting up.
They walk through the tunnel and they reach the area where Zim and Dib are chasing each other.
They freeze.
Gaz suddenly widens her eyes.
"Zim!! You are SO DEAD!! You made me lose my concetration, and I lost my chance of saving the game!! RRRRRRRR!!! I HATE YOU!! You. WILL. PAY!!!"
Mrs. Bitter's hisses.
Zim(blushing): Uh,heh heh...
Dib: .........Mommy..
Zim suddenly yanks out the shell from Dib's back and sticks it on himself. Two legs reach for the ceiling and pull him up into the darkness leaving Dib alone with the teacher of DOOM and Gaz.
The shadow of Mrs. Bitters looms over him and stares him down gnashing her teeth, snake tongue protuding from her mouth.
Gaz snickers, camera zooms in on her face so we cannot see either Dib or the Teacher.
Ripping, hissing, and bloody murder screaming sounds ensue.
Gaz breaks into a tiny smile, then she frowns again.
Screen goes blank.
Dib's voice:...Owch...That really HURT..
*in creepy smoke letters*
THE END
_?
Z?
~_'