Disclaimer: J.K Rowling owns all the characters. The band Gorillaz owns
the song, but I own the story line.
A/N Ok, here's a bit of a song fic for you. Some will recognize the
lyrics of the song Clint Eastwood, by the Gorrilaz. Others will not. I did change
some of the words because they wouldn't fit in properly and I took out the
swearing. But it's pretty much the same. Either way, enjoy. It's the thoughts
of a certain character that is important, but it isn't. Try guessing who it is
before the end, and then I'll tell you. Don't cheat. Happy guessing.
Yeah... Ha! Ha! Finally someone let me out of my cage
It was a lazy day. Nothing to do, nothing to see. Just laying around,
checking out the sights. Go around, look at some pictures, sit here on this
here wooden thingy. Great life this. Just great.
Now, time for me is nothing cos I'm counting no age
Happy Birthday to me. Another, yes, yet another birthday. How old was
he now? He didn't know. Old age made you forgetful. Wise yes. But defiantly
forgetful.
Now I couldn't be there. Now you shouldn't be scared
Hey he couldn't be everywhere at once. It wasn't like he was magic or
some…. Wait a second. He was magic. Ok. Well I'm old ok. And I'm forgetful. Old
and forgetful. Well that's really just a lame excuse.
I'm good at repairs and I'm under each snare
Hey he'd helped out the kid right? RIGHT? He was good. Didn't even need
to see Madam Pomfrey now. Harry Potter. Interesting guy him.
Intangible bet you didn't think so I command you to
Just keep on belting out them tunes. That's the way. There we go. It's
all better now ain't it? It's all good. I'll just keep up the singing and we'll
all be fine. The tunes are gonna help those that need it. Everyone likes my
singing. Should be famous. Maybe even get an agent. That'd be sweet.
Panoramic view look I'll make it all manageable
Good old me. I love this job. Just get to sit around, look at the old
guys snoring, see some interesting stuff. Get to sit on the here wooden jiggy,
and all I gotta do is be faithful. I got it pretty sweet actually.
Pick and choose Sit and lose all you different crews chicks and dudes
who you think is really kickin' tunes?
Jeez I'm bored. Hey what was that? I heard something. No I swear I just
heard someone say something, but there's no-one here. Here we go. Good old
wisdom and magic intuition kicking in now. And off we go.
Picture you gettin' down in a picture tube like you lit the fuse you
think it's fictional
Hey I wonder if this guy ever stops reading books? He's always reading.
Man I'm hungry. I think I'm gonna nip down the kitchens, then maybe I'll go up
the owlery, see how things are ticking over up there.
Mystical? Maybe Spiritual Hearable
Oh so magical. Hey that is one weird looking animal. Half a horse, half
a bird. Who in the heck came up with that? Hey I remember when they came about.
It was so windy that day. Man it was cold.
What appears in you is a clearer view cos you're too
crazy Lifeless to know the definition for what life is
So this guy Voldemort is gonna take over the world, and kill everyone
except for those that follow him. And that means he's gonna kill all these kids
in this school. And that means he's gonna kill all the teachers, and the
headmaster. So it pretty much goes without saying that he's gonna kill me.
Great. This has just made my day.
Priceless for you because I put you on the hype kit. You like it?
Meh. Just cos I got these powers… I was sleeping. Sleeping you hear me.
Oh wait, no he can't hear me can he? Damn it.
Gunsmokin' righteous with one token psychic among those possess you
with one go
He's gonna kill
me slowly isn't he. Hell, all I did was show a smidgeon of loyalty. Ok, a bit
more than a smidgeon. Ok FINE. I'm really, really, really, really loyal. But
that's no excuse to kill me. I get the feeling this Voldemort is not a nice
guy. Maybe he needs counseling.
I ain't
happy, I'm feeling glad I got sunshine, in a bag
OK! This is
good. I got the dirt. I'm gonna show that old cow who's boss. Calling people
names, making up rumors. I know her secret. And all I gotta do is tell… DAMMIT!
Why can't I talk for god's sake? ARGH!
I'm useless,
but not for long the future is coming on
Heck I might be
sleeping now, but when I wake up! There's gonna be some serious toast eating to
do. Hey this is pretty cool dream. OW! Ok, back on the wooden thingy. That's
the way. That floor hurts. Ow.
The essence the
basics without it you make it allow me to make this childlike in nature\
Ok, so these kids
are gonna use those ingredients and they're gonna make a potion that does what?
Heals people? BAH! I could show them that. Man that teacher has greasy hair.
Rhythm you have
it or you don't that's a fallacy
I'm sorry to say
man, but you cannot sing. And what's more, that poster of you is really crap.
And you're hair is just girly. You can't control PIXIES? And he's a teacher? I
think Dumbledore's starting to get a bit desperate. I can't believe that guy
thinks that's defense. Hey careful, that mirror'll crack if you look at it for much
longer.
I'm in them every
sprouting tree every child apiece every cloud you see you see with your eyes
I remember when they
planted that tree. That kid was scary. Nice guy though. Werewolf, smerwolf. Kids
a kid. Lucky he had them friends hey. Wait a second. Isn't that him there?
Whoa. Very old. I wonder what happened to his robes. Looks like he's been
savaged by a Manticore and then asked that Hopeless Lockhart guy to sew them
back to together again. But hey. He's a better teacher than him. Gotta give him
credit for that.
I see destruction
and demise corruption in disguise from this enterprise
I hate those things.
Ugh. Man I can't believe Dumbledore let them come anywhere NEAR the school.
Something seriously bad is going on here is he's gonna let those things near
these poor kids.
Now I'm sucking
to your lies through you, though not his muscles but the percussion you provide
with me as a guide
Oh that is just sick
man. Leave the kid alone. HEY! WHOA! Now that was one kick ass Patronus. I wonder
who made that? YAY! The Dementors are going away! Take that you butt ugly soul
suckers! HA!
But y'all can see
me now cos you don't see with your eye. You perceive with your mind. That's the
inner. So I'm gonna stick around with you and be a mentor
Ahh poor kid. He's
been through hell. Maybe if I sing, just a little, he'll feel better.
With a few rhymes
so you remember where the thought is. I brought all this
Yep, I brought you
every single one of those. Everyone I could find on the grounds. It was me.
Yep. The one sitting on the wooden thing. Hey! HEY! Come here! It wasn't
PEEVES! It was me you dope! I gave you all those… oh screw it.
So you can
survive when law is lawless. Feelings, sensations that you thought were dead
I don't think I have
ever seen anyone that scared in my life. That kid has more guts than an Iron
belly Dragon. He is so brave. Maybe if I do a bit of song here. There we go.
No squealing,
remember
(that it's all in your head)
Ok, back to sleep
for me. Hope that kid's gonna be all right. Glad I don't have to put up with
those damn memories. Ok. I'm gonna sit here, and I'm gonna go to sleep. OW!
DAMN IT! Stay on the wooden thing. On it. That's the way.
A/N There we go. All done! Did you guess who it was? I'll
give you a clue. It starts with an F.
A/N Did you guess yet? Well I guess I should tell you then
shouldn't I? Ok. Here goes. It was Fawkes. Yes that's right, Dumbledore's pet Phoenix.
Now it all makes sense doesn't it?!
A/N The Iron Belly is a type of dragon. I own the book by
Newt Scamander (aka JK Rowling) and it has all sorts of magical beasts. The
iron belly is a dragon. TRUST ME. If you don't believe me, go buy the book. It's
for a good cause. All the money goes to the comic relief foundation and it's
really funny. The book, not the foundation.
A/N I apologize for the fact that it went back and forth
between incidences, but that's how things fitted with the song. And if you
flame me, no matter. The Phoenix is a firebird! HAHA!
A/N I also apologize for the fact that I just done about a
million authors notes. Sorry.
