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Title:The People In The Stars
Author: Jibaku-chan
Summary:Dib deals with the anniversary of his mother's death and the memories that accompany it.
Warnings:Death, for people who are uncomfortable with it. Heavy Dib angst. Possibly OOC Gaz.
-Dedicated to the memory of my mother, who read me the same book-
"Hey, Gazzy."
"Dont CALL me that." My little sister glared over her pocket game-thingie at me. She hates her childhood nickname. I think its funny, how much she dosent wanna be a kid anymore. She starts school tomorow for the first time in the same school as me, in the middle school. She'll be in the sixth grade. That astounds me-its like she grew up behind my back.
She points at the coffeetable. "Another one of your weird magazines came today."
"Yes! Cropcircles Digest!" Gaz rolls her eyes at my enthusiasm, but I cant help it. UFOs are cool, my big obsession. "Did my interstellar communications monitoring device come today?"
"No, your thingy didnt come."
"Wheres Dad?"
She pauses her game and puts it down beside her. "What day is it, Dib?" Theres something dangerous about her voice.
"Ummm...Monday?"
She narrows her eyes at me, squinting even more then usual. "Its the 17th of August."
I shrug. "Yeah. School starts in 2 weeks. Dad films his show tomorow. What am I missing?"
"God, Dib! Dont you know ANYTHING?"
Suddenly it hits me. What the big deal is, and why Gaz is so on edge, and where Dad is. Dad is in a graveyard, putting flowers at Mom's grave. Gaz is on edge because its the anniversary of her death. Thats the big deal. All the peices fall together, which is nice. However, I dislike what I know is coming next-the nostalgia and the sadness and stuff, so I decide to go up to my room to weather it.
"Oh. Im going upstairs."
Gaz sits back down and turns on her GameSlave, waving me off. I jog up the stairs and flomp down omn my bed. I should probaly check my email, see if the Swollen Eyeballs were meeting next week or soemthing, but I dont much feel like it.
I have to deal with this EVERY YEAR. Dad turns into a zombie today, even harder to get ahold of then usual. Most of the time he dosent even seem to remember im related to him. That, however, is attentive compared to how he'll be today. Gaz will be angry, irritated at every little thing. I can tell things will probaly get bad soon, because Gazzy just turned on the downstairs stereo, and its loud, LOUD punk rock. Good mucis to lose yourself in, but a bad weather forecast for me.
Feh. Who wants to think about it. I flip through my UFO magazine. Strangely enough, nothing holds my attention. There is a cool ad for some handcuffs that I rip out of the back, but thats it as far as me caring goes. I toss the magazine on the floor.
On the wall over my bed, there's a picture I thumbtacked up a year ago. It my favortie picture from our beach vacation. Its me in my swimtrunks, and Gaz and Mom in their bathing suits. I think Dad took the picture, cuase he isnt in it. We're all building a sandcastle. Mom's holding the pail. It was a fun time. I like to think about it. Everyone says Im supposed to be sad when I think abut stuff like that, but I dont. Theres only one sad time I can think of, and she wasnt even there...
The sky was huge. The sky was amazing, infinite, beautiful. Stars glowed in harmony with eachother, winking and shining in perfect tune. Out there the sky was ptich black instad of its customary suburban blue.
"Wow. The sky is pretty." I stared up into the depths of the heavens, my sister at my side snoring lighty. "Gaz."
"mmrph."
"Gaz!"
"Errgh." She rolled onto her back. She was in feety pajamas, bunny-headed hood pulled up to obscure her brilliant vermillion hair. "What is it, Dib?" Unlike later years, when this question probaly would have been phrased with a bit of venom, her voice was curious.
"The sky. Its really pretty."
"I know. I saw."
"Look again!" I was so insistant...kids that age usually are, over the stupidest things, and I guess I qwas no exception. She yawned, glancing upwards. "Yeah, its pretty. Stars are neat." She curled into my side, shivering lightly. "Im COLD."
I scooped her up into my arms. There was so much that I could get away with back then! It still amazes me a little bit. We were laying on a bed of concrete outside. "We should go in."
"Don'wanna." She shuddered a little more, and I squeezed her tighter. Poor girl, she shouldnt have been up so early to begin with, but we were supposed to be there. I wouldnt have minded sleeping a little more myself, but it was my job to keep an eye on Gazzy while our father took care of...things. "Wanna stay out here with you."
"Okay." I yawned a little. I was so tired...it was amazing I was still awake, but I had to make sure Gaz didnt wander off. That was what Dad told me to do, and I was going to do it. For some reason, I was sure everything would be fine if I did what I was told to do...it was a stupid assumption, but try telling that to a 7 year old boy.
"Dib?"
"What?"
"Whats wrong with mom?"
Even before I knew, that question made my stomach jump. I tried to figure out how to answer.. "She was in an accident, Gaz. She got hurt real bad."
"Oh." Gaz sniffled a little. "We been here a long time."
"Yeah." We had been inside of the hopsital for a few hours. We had spent the time with our father in the waiting room, bringing him coffee and trying to cheer him up. It was a pointless endeavor. We were way too little, spilling the coffee everywhere. By the time we got the half-full cups back to Dad, he wouldnt even drink them. He was lost to the world, only looking up when a doctor's muffled shoes came in the room. We gave up and sat quiety, waiting for news. I sat quietly, at least. Gaz squirmed and doodled, repeatedly asking when we were gonna see Mom. I could see it was really wearing on Dad, so I took her out to the parking lot to look at the stars.
I lvoed the sky when it was dark. Daylight didnt hold much appeal for me, it never has. There's no stars or moon, just the unchanging sun. Sometimes clouds. But I knew what clouds were, what was inside them and why they were there. I'm Professor Membrane's son, for god's sake, it was all explained to me very clearly by the Professor himself. The nighttime sky was much more of a mystery. Dad couldnt explain everything up there to me. I remember a book my mother had read to me not too long before that night, The Little Prince. It was about a boy that lived on a star and flew to other stars to meet the people that loved there. Except, I dont think it was a star. It may have been an asteriod, come to think of it.
"Mommy," I asked, "Do other people rrally live on stars?"
She had laughed then. "It is possible, although your father dosent think so. If there were other people out there, then they would probaly live on planets very far away. Stars are too hot."
"Oh." I remember how she smiled at me. It was so bemused, but in a loving way. Its hard to describe. Mothers can do it. "Do you think there are?"
She had placed a hand on my head then, gentle and protective. I can still feel it when I think hard. "I hope so. Maybe someday youll find some."
"I hope so! Ill find them and Ill bring them to you, and then they can be your friends too. We'll all be friends, right Mommy?"
She had laughed. I would always think of that laugh. "Yes, Dibby. Now go to sleep."
And I drifted off to sleep.
Now things had gone insane. My father was a helpless wreck, My mother was an unknown quanity. Noone could tell us anything. My dad dint know what to do or what to tell us. We had gotten dinner eariler that night, me and Gaz, anyway-we went to a Wendy's in the bottom of the hospital. We returned to the waiting room to see Dad looking even more worried, but he still couldnt tell us anything. We had been waiting, our lives in limbo, for one of the stern faced men to tell us that everything was okay. I wasnt sure about anything else, but I knew one of the men were the ones to tell me wether things would be okay.
Gaz stirred in my arms, trying to get comfortable. "Leggo, Dib, youre squeezin' too hard."
"Okay." I released her, but she wraped her arms around mine. "Still cold?"
She yawned. "We should go see how Daddy-"
"Kids." A figure weaved at us, drunkenly, one hand on his head. His shoulders shook. It was Dad.
"Daddy!" Gaz hopped up and ran to him, tackling him around the knees. He knelt and picked her up, holding her weakly. I had never been so scared in my life.
"Dib, come here." He reached his hand out to me. I walked to him, studying the arm. He was never one to be too physcially affectionate. Was he going to pat me on the head? But he gathered be up into a big hug. "Dib...Mommy is..."
He didnt need to finish the sentence, of course.
That was all a long time ago. A few years, anyway. Gaz has gotten anti-social, the exact opposite of that cute little Gazzy that curled up in my arms, and I think thats the way she wants it. She spends all her time squinting at that stupid GameSlave. She's gonna go blind if she keeps it up, I bet. Not that im any better, now that I think of it, shut up in my room with my dumb magazines.
"Hey, Dib." Gaz poked her head in my room. She waves a CD in my direction. "I got a song for you."
"Hmm." Im about to dismiss her, then I feel a jab in my guts. I smile up at her. "Put it on my stereo, then."
She opend up the CD door, muttering about "stupid sci-fi music" as she takes out the X-Files soundtrack. I bite my tounge. She hits play, and loud guitar fills the room.
"Its Blink-182!" she calls over the din. She kind of nods along with the beat. i have to bite my tounge to keep from laughing. Why dosent she just dance? it looks like she wants to...
She knows the lyrics too. My ears perk up.
"hey, mom, theres something in the window...I hope its not the creatures from above..."
I have to laugh. She's right, this is a song for me. On impulse, I jump off the bed and grab Gaz's hand. She glares at me like Im insane. I just laugh at her and start to hop up and down. I pull her into the middle of the room. "Come on,Gaz!"
She giggled then, and started to dance. It wasnt really dancing as much as moshing, pumping her fists in the air and stomping. After a quick glance at the floor to make sure I left no breakables there, I joined her.
Soon, Dad would be home. He would be depressed, and distant, and probaly just dash for his agrage workshop without giving us a second glance. We would make dinner, he would ignore it. We'd all be depressed. But just for now it was time to have a little bit of fun. After all, why would mom want us to be sad?
"you used to read me stories, as if my dreams were boring..."
Naw. Our dreams were the same. And someday, I'm gonna find those people in the stars and make them come true.
Jibaku-chan
*Proud supporter of IZ slash!*
"Open your heart. Straddle the fence. Obey the fist."
Jibaku-chan
*Proud supporter of IZ slash!*
"Open your heart. Straddle the fence. Obey the fist."