This is a fanfic using a few characters from Ranma 1/2, and I've decided not to do this one
in script form. All I can hope is that you get as much of a kick reading it as I did writing
it. You can send all of your questions/comments to "zx-tole@geocities.com"
All disclaimers apply. I do not own or claim to own any of these characters. There are no
real spoilers in this except if you don't know anyone or their pasts. This is a fan based
production, and does not reflect the interests of the creators and such. yada yada... just
read it already.
So, I present to you...
=======================================================
"Writer's Block"
starring characters from Ranma 1/2
=======================================================
I'll be your guide through the mishaps of the Ranma cast in this fanfic (seeing as
how it all goes on inside my head). I'm sorry to say that I will be interacting with the
characters. I know it may be against some fanfiction standards, but I don't actually plan
on appearing in the fanfic physically. It all happens in one room with me talking to the
characters over an intercom. So, let the fun begin.
---
As we begin, Ranma and Ryoga are seen falling into a room with nothing except gray
walls and an intercom on one of the walls. One of their "weekly duels" was rudely interupted,
and both were a little confused.
"What the hell is going on?" said Ranma. "We were just about to fight (again) at
the vacant lot behind your house Ryoga, weren't we? At least it only took you three days to
get there."
"Shut up Ranma." said Ryoga. "It's probably your fault again anyway. At least you
were there this time." He then pocedes to look around the room to see if there is any means
of escape, and finding none, he takes his anger out on the wall. "Bakusaitenket!!!"
However, the wall doesn't shatter, and only a small hole is left. "Just where are we anyway
Ranma?" asked Ryoga.
A hissing sound came over the the intercom followed by "testing... testing 1 2 3...
Hello guys. Sorry about this, but I can't seem to get any ideas for the fight or the rest of
the story. So, you'll just have to wait it out inside my "writer's block," but if you can
wait, maybe I'll call in a couple friends..."
"What do you mean writer's block?" demanded Ranma. " How are we supposed to get out
of here anyway? So, are you going to tell us or what?"
"I say we just start where we left off Ranma. I can't stand to see you treat Akane
like that anymore. It's a good thing she won't have to watch me beat the hell out of you
Ranma!" said Ryoga as he lunged at Ranma.
"Um... Guys, if you don't behave yourselves in there I'm afraid I'll have to make it
rain or something," said the loudspeaker. Buckets of water appeared over each of Ranma's and
Ryoga's heads. "And don't you think I won't do it either. Ranma always did look good as a
girl."
"Shut up you damn pervert!" yelled Ranma. "There's no way I'm going to let you get
away with this..." He's stoped short however as one of those big wooden mallets whacks him
on the head out of nowhere. "Alright, you made your point... Ouch that smarts..."
Ryoga just laughs at the developing lump on Ranma's head. "You always had a big
mouth Ranma. It serves you right." The bucket above Ryoga's head starts to tip a little.
"Umm... I was just kidding ok?! Come on... please don't..."
"Who's laughing now P-chan? Are you scared of the little bucket? He's probably
bluffing anyway..." said Ranma. He looks up at his own bucket to see it tipped all the way
over his head. He's instantly turned into a girl after being splashed with the cold water.
"You were saying Ranma? You always didn't know when to quit did you?" laughed Ryoga.
"Now, why don't we try to find a way out of here..."
"I already told you, there's no way out until I can think of something to write
you idiots. Are you both always this stuborn?!" screamed the loudspeaker. Then, after the
writer remembers all the Ranma tapes he has ever watched (which is quite alot mind you
seeing as how there is so much out there anyway), he decided to drop the subject. "So, who
wants takeout?"
"Just where are we supposed to get takeout from anyway genius?" said the girl Ranma.
"I don't really see any restaurants in here." She's cut short as a bike with a girl carrying
a Ramen takeout order lands on him.
"Nihao Ranma!" says Shampoo as she rides the bike off of Ranma's back and pours hot
water from a kettle she had on him. "Did you order takeout from Cat Cafe?"
"I had to ask didn't I..." said the now boy Ranma. "Well at least we got something
to eat now. Thanks Shampoo. Well what next writer, you don't plan on dumping anyone else on
me do you?"
"Not any at the moment anyway," said the loudspeaker, "but if you don't start to
behave yourselves, there may be some changes..."
"Like what?" asked Ryoga. "How long do you think it is going to take for you to
come up with an idea anyway?" He is cut short however as a man with long dark hair and
glasses falls from the ceiling on top of him.
"Shampoo... you forgot the chopsticks..." wheezed Mousse. Ryoga pushed him off of
himself.
"Get off me you four-eyed duck!" yelled Ryoga. "Why does this kind of thing always
happen to me anyway? Why couldn't Akane fall on me or something..."
"Because it's not in my budget. Besides, you get to sleep with her don't you? I
wouldn't complain if I were you," said the loudspeaker. Ranma turned a jealous shade of red
after hearing the last remark.
"You know Ryoga, sometimes you're an even bigger pervert than Happosai. At least I
don't turn into a pig to sleep with Akane," scolded Ranma. "Of course, you don't steal
panties or anything..." said Ranma with a sigh.
Ryoga whacks Ranma over the head with his parasol that he always has with him (well,
not always, but you get the point). "Shut up Ranma! How could you know my pain?! It's all
your fault!" yells Ryoga as he tries to open a big ol' can of wup ass on Ranma again.
"Jeez, and here I thought I could leave you guys alone for a couple minutes. You
really are a bunch of perverts aren't you?" says the speaker. Ryoga gets drenched from a
bucket of water and turns into his P-chan form. "Maybe you'll behave now."
"Squeal! Oink!" is all P-chan could say to show his dissatisfaction for the current
situation. A kettle with hot water materialized and poured itself on Ryoga. "Well at least
you didn't leave me like that," said the now rejuvenated Ryoga.
"Ummm... Did you guys forget about us or something? We came through all the trouble
of going through this guy's mind to deliver this," said Mousse. "We should at least sit down
and eat it."
With that they all sat down for a nice meal of Ramen. Lucky for me, very little
fighting occured during the meal. Well, there always is some verbal fighting, but that
really doesn't count now does it?
The meal continued, and everyone sat happilly slurping up their noodles with their
chopsticks. "Any requests?" I asked, and most were japanese songs that I never heard of, so
I just put on some Ranma theme music just for effect.
"Like we don't hear this enough as it is..." said Ranma. "Are you sure you don't at
least know the themes to any other shows like Bakuretsu Hunters or something."
Visions of the scantily clad lead females in that series danced in my head, but I
couldn't place a song to it. "Sorry, I don't really remember it off-hand, but I don't mind
bringing them into the story if you don't."
"Ranma," said Ryoga, "only you or the writer would watch peverted shows like that,
and to think that our daily lives are bad enough..." Another of those big ol' mallets whacks
him upside the head, and he falls to the ground dazed.
"Hey, I don't judge you," said the speaker, "and I expect to be treated the same way.
But if you don't want any other shows mixed in with this, I'll respect that. Maybe you guys
should start to watch your mouths from now on..."
"Momma, I want to ride the pink elephant..." said a dazed Ryoga on the ground. He
just lied on the ground for a few more minutes speaking more nuggets of gibberish. Then, all
of a sudden... "*Fly me to the moon...*"
Tape appeared over his mouth which, thankfully, stopped most of that annoying song
from getting through. "I think we've had enough references to other shows for one day..."
said the speaker. "Maybe a quick cold then hot water splash will snap him out of it."
A bucket of cold water appeared out of nowhere, and drenched Ryoga. P-chan squealed
his anoyance at being turned into a pig, and tried to jump at the loud speaker. Of course,
he hit a force-field, and ended up on the floor again. Next, a trademark kettle with hot
water turned him back into a fully awake Ryoga.
"You didn't have to hit me so hard you jerk..." said Ryoga. "Why do I always end up
getting beat up by Ranma or somebody. It always gets on my nerves."
"Any requests for more visitors?" said the speaker, and hearing none, the writer
spun the mystery guest wheel next to his computer and came up with...
"Ranma darling!" said a voice. "Wither Akane Tendo?" said another voice.
"Oh no... You're kidding..." said Ranma as Kodachi and Kuno dropped into the room.
Everybody else groaned their own disapproval of the new guests.
"And I thought we all had problems already..." said Mousse.
"Ranma most all," said Shampoo.
"Hey, don't blame me. It was a random choice, and they were just the ones picked by
chance..." appologized the speaker. "You didn't speak up when you all had the chance, and
now we're all paying for it."
Kodachi hung around Ranma's neck, and Kuno kept asking for the "Pig-Tailed-Girl's"
phone number. Ranma was being loaded down with gifts for both his boy and girl side, and he
was getting pretty sick and tired of it.
"Isn't there anyway that we can stop this madness?.." asked a desperate Ranma.
"Well, we could have a vote..." said the speaker. Immediately, all the hands except
for Kuno and Kodachi went up. "I guess that settles it..." Kuno and Kodachi blinked out of
the pseudo-reality and there was much rejoycing. "I guess I'll try again on the mystery guest
wheel..."
They all yelled their dissapproval, and I was forced to try some other methods. "Are
there any requests this time?" said the speaker.
"Are you absolutely sure it can be anybody?" asked Ranma.
"Sure," said the speaker, "what do you have in mind?" Although, I knew I should be
worried at a moment like this.
"Well," said Ranma, "maybe you could have everybody at the Tendo school drop in, and
we could have a party or something to pass time."
"That's not a half bad idea Ranma," said Ryoga. "Maybe I can dance with Akane if we
have a party..." He started dozing off into one of those "daydream realities" with the
sparkly eyes and stuff.
"Yeah whatever 'Mr. Two Left Feet,' like you'd even be able to find your way around
the dance floor," said Ranma.
"Shut up Ranma!" yelled Ryoga. "It's not my fault that I have such a bad sense of
direction!"
"Well," said the speaker, "I guess we'll have to straighten up the room a bit if
we're going to have a party. Any more suggestions?"
"Let's have it in the Juusenkyo training ground!" said Ranma, Ryoga, Shampoo and
Mouse in unision.
"Sorry guys," said the speaker, "but that would be cheating wouldn't it? You should
go there on your own time, not mine."
"So close..." said Ranma.
"I get great-grandmother to cook," said Shampoo.
"But, first we need to get her here first," said the speaker, as Cologne dropped in.
"Hello future son-in-law," said Cologne. "So, I hear you need someone to cook for
you."
"Well, at least it's not as bad as Kuno and Kodachi..." said Ranma.
"Now for the rest of the guests," said the speaker. "That's everyone living at the
Tendo school right?"
"That's right," said Ranma. Then he remembered who all was staying there. "Wait,
all except..."
Too late, Genma, Akane, Nabiki, and all the rest were there. "Happosai..." said
Ranma.
"Woo hoo!" yelled Happosai. "Now they have nowhere to run! Come here my little
pretties..." He started chasing after all the girls when he suddenly ran into an invisible
force field.
"Now children, play nice or I'll have to get medieval on your ass," said the speaker.
"Spoilsport..." said Happosai.
"Hey, it's not that I don't want to, but I'm not that much of a pervert," said the
speaker.
"Now for the music..." said the speaker as the biggest home stereo in history popped
out of the floor. "Meet the super deluxe Slam Master 5000. It's even got a turn-table. Any
requests?"
"Who the hell listens to records today except for old farts like Happosai anyway?"
said Ranma.
"Well this 'old fart' can kick yer keister to next week Ranma," growled Happosai
"but I'd rather fondle you a bit if you turned into..." He was cut short as Ranma whacked him
upside his head.
Everybody started to decorate the room for the party. Mousse even shot streamers out
of his sleeves. They also made sure that Akane stayed away from the food preparation. Genma
helped with the food tasting, and Kasumi helped Colonge make the feast. Ryoga practiced
his dance moves, and Happosai kept hitting on all the girls, but I kept him in check (thanks
to whoever created those wooden mallet thingies... what fun...).
After a while, the plain grey room looked good enough for a real party. No, not a
keg party, who knows how weird it'll get if they get drunk? Anyway, the room is all bright
and festive and a nice feast is laid out on a buffet table. Dance music is blasting out of
the Slam Master 5000, and everyone is having a good time.
Well, almost everyone. Ryoga and Mousse wait their turns to dance with Shampoo and
Akane respectively.
"I'm gonna get that Ranma..." said Ryoga. "Just because I have trouble asking Akane
to dance with me..."
"You think you got problems?" said Mousse. "At least she notices you."
"It's not my fault you can't see your own two feet," said Ryoga. "But, you're right
about us both having problems."
Eventually, their turns come, and Ranma and Genma are left on the side lines.
"That Shampoo's quite a dancer son..." said Genma. "My head's still spinning."
"She probably danced with you to get you to talk me into marrying her," said Ranma.
"That's no way to talk about a friend, son," said Genma. "I though I raised you
better than that."
"You're the one who traded me for a fish and some pickles," scolded Ranma.
"I was dying of hunger! And don't forget about the rice!" exclaimed Genma. "I got
you back didn't I?"
"And I thought I had economic problems..." said the speaker.
"Who asked you anyway?!" exclaimed Genma.
"Come on Ranma, go ask Akane to dance again," said Soun. "If you keep that up this
marriage may get off the ground, and I can retire in peace."
"Why do you keep trying to get me to marry your tomboy of a daughter anyway?!" yelled
Ranma.
"I heard that!" yelled back Akane.
"It's like their already married..." said Soun and Genma simultaniously.
"Who were you dancing with anyway, Soun old friend?" asked Genma.
"Nabiki," answered Soun, "I couldn't let the master do any more damage to this
already disfunctional family."
"Well who's dancing with her now?" asked Ranma.
"Why that would be..." said Soun as he stoped short. "Uh oh..."
From across the room, they could see Happosai start chasing after Nabiki, only to be
stoped short of his goal by various objects and devices (some mine and some improvised by
Nabiki).
"I guess we don't have to worry too much..." sighed Soun.
"Well, what about Kasumi?" asked Genma.
"I got that covered to," said the speaker.
"Could it be that I have a moment of peace?" said Soun. "Finally after all this
time..." he said as he started to get teary eyed.
"Might as well live it up while we can," said Genma, "I'm going to check out the
refreshments."
"Fine, just leave me here..." said Ranma as everyone started walking away.
"You still got me," said the speaker.
"Even worse..." said Ranma.
"You're no fun, why don't you go and enjoy yourself?" asked the speaker. "This party
was your idea anyway, so why not live it up while you can?"
"I know!" said Ranma, "We can have a martial arts karaoke contest!"
"Martial arts this, martial arts that..." said the speaker, "if you ask me, I would
say all these different martial arts things are a waste of time. Come on, you're suggesting
martial arts karaoke for crying out loud!"
"I guess your right, but what about martial arts binge drinking?" asked Ranma.
"Why do I even try..." said the speaker.
"Hey everyone," yelled Ranma, "we're gonna have a martial arts bin..." When all of
a sudden, tape appeared over his mouth. "Mmmmph... *grunt*..." finished Ranma.
"That was close," said the speaker. "I don't know what would happen if they all got
drunk. I don't even want to know..."
"Mmmmmph... *grunt... *snarl*..." threatened Ranma.
"Yeah like you could pull that move off," said the speaker. "If you behave, I might
allow a contest, but definitely not martial arts binge drinking."
Ranma gave in and the tape was removed from his mouth, much to his relief.
"Well how about martial arts table tennis?" asked Ranma.
"You've already done that when Akane ate the "super soba" noodles, remember?" said
the speaker.
"Then maybe we can have a martial arts fingerpainting contest," said Ranma.
"How old are you anyway?" said the speaker.
"I'm sixteen," said Ranma.
"Then why don't you act like it?" asked the speaker.
"That's what I'm always wondering," said Akane from across the room.
"Who asked you anyway?!" yelled back Ranma.
"Oh look the newly-weds are fighting," said Nabiki as she was still trying to
ditch Happosai.
"Come back Nabiki! I'll be a good boy..." called Happosai as he tried to keep up
with Nabiki.
"Anyway," said Ranma, "how about..."
After Ranma is continuly turned down time and again, he gives up and tried to have
a good time. Although most of it was beating on Happosai.
Then it hit me. Why didn't I ask them for help thinking of a story? "Hey you guys,"
said the speaker, "do you have any ideas for how this story should end?"
"Well I..." said Happosai as he was cut off by the rest of the cast putting duct tape
all around him. "Mmmph... "(thinking) *I'll get you for this, how dare you treat your master
in such a disrespectful manner...*
"Ok," said the speaker, "now that he's out of the way, does anyone have any other
ideas?"
"Now that you mention it," said Ryoga, "I've been having such a good time that I can't
think of anything else."
"Have Ranma marry Shampoo!" exclaimed Shampoo.
"This isn't the dating game," said the speaker. "Where did we leave off in the
beginning?"
"I think Ryoga and me were fighting," said Ranma.
"That's 'Ryoga and I'," corrected the speaker.
"Whatever, 'Mister Perfect'," said Ranma.
"Ok, so Ranma wins again, and we all live miserably after," said Mousse. "Can we go
home now?"
"It's not that easy," said the speaker. "We have to come up with lines and other things
too. Possibly some dramatic music, followed by well choreographed fight scenes."
"Who cares," muttered Ranma. "We just want to go home."
"All right then," said the speaker, "here's your scripts."
Everyone got a small but well written (I do have omnipotent powers in here you know)
script to the ending of the story. Some weren't very pleased...
"Ummm... who's Shinji?" asked a puzzled Ryoga.
"Let me see that," said the speaker as he scanned the script.
"I be Asuka," said Shampoo.
"Wait a minute..." said the speaker.
"I'll be Kaji," said Happosai as he finally got out of his bindings.
"I said to wait for a god damn minute!" screamed the speaker.
"What's wrong with this script?" asked Mousse.
"It's the script for my 'EVA Sings' fanfic," said the speaker.
"It'll be fun to do something different for once," said Ryoga.
"It's been fun, but I think we should just say good bye before anything else happens,"
said the speaker.
"So we finally get to go home..." sighed Ranma. "I can't say that it's been fun
though."
"Whatever, just get out of my mind before I go crazy or something (or am I
already...)," said the speaker.
With that only Mousse dissappeared leaving another long/dark haired man in a simmilar
robe in his place.
"We're not home yet genius..." grumbled Ranma.
"Oops, sorry, I guess there was a small glitch in my thought processes," said the
speaker.
"Who is that guy anyway?" asked Nabiki. "He's kinda cute..."
"What other guy?" asked the speaker back. "Didn't I just fail to send you home?"
"That one," said Nabiki as she pointed to him.
"I believe they're referring to me," said the long dark haired man.
"Wait a minute, you're Marron right?" asked the speaker.
"You're correct," answered Marron.
"Then where did Mousse go to..." said the speaker.
---
Mousse found himself in a forest with four people staring down at him. Two of them were
female, and the other two were male. Right about now, he was wandering what the hell was going
on. "You're not Shampoo..." said Mousse.
=======================================================
The End, hope ya liked it. Sorry about all the little crossover stuff. I was running out of
space.
in script form. All I can hope is that you get as much of a kick reading it as I did writing
it. You can send all of your questions/comments to "zx-tole@geocities.com"
All disclaimers apply. I do not own or claim to own any of these characters. There are no
real spoilers in this except if you don't know anyone or their pasts. This is a fan based
production, and does not reflect the interests of the creators and such. yada yada... just
read it already.
So, I present to you...
=======================================================
"Writer's Block"
starring characters from Ranma 1/2
=======================================================
I'll be your guide through the mishaps of the Ranma cast in this fanfic (seeing as
how it all goes on inside my head). I'm sorry to say that I will be interacting with the
characters. I know it may be against some fanfiction standards, but I don't actually plan
on appearing in the fanfic physically. It all happens in one room with me talking to the
characters over an intercom. So, let the fun begin.
---
As we begin, Ranma and Ryoga are seen falling into a room with nothing except gray
walls and an intercom on one of the walls. One of their "weekly duels" was rudely interupted,
and both were a little confused.
"What the hell is going on?" said Ranma. "We were just about to fight (again) at
the vacant lot behind your house Ryoga, weren't we? At least it only took you three days to
get there."
"Shut up Ranma." said Ryoga. "It's probably your fault again anyway. At least you
were there this time." He then pocedes to look around the room to see if there is any means
of escape, and finding none, he takes his anger out on the wall. "Bakusaitenket!!!"
However, the wall doesn't shatter, and only a small hole is left. "Just where are we anyway
Ranma?" asked Ryoga.
A hissing sound came over the the intercom followed by "testing... testing 1 2 3...
Hello guys. Sorry about this, but I can't seem to get any ideas for the fight or the rest of
the story. So, you'll just have to wait it out inside my "writer's block," but if you can
wait, maybe I'll call in a couple friends..."
"What do you mean writer's block?" demanded Ranma. " How are we supposed to get out
of here anyway? So, are you going to tell us or what?"
"I say we just start where we left off Ranma. I can't stand to see you treat Akane
like that anymore. It's a good thing she won't have to watch me beat the hell out of you
Ranma!" said Ryoga as he lunged at Ranma.
"Um... Guys, if you don't behave yourselves in there I'm afraid I'll have to make it
rain or something," said the loudspeaker. Buckets of water appeared over each of Ranma's and
Ryoga's heads. "And don't you think I won't do it either. Ranma always did look good as a
girl."
"Shut up you damn pervert!" yelled Ranma. "There's no way I'm going to let you get
away with this..." He's stoped short however as one of those big wooden mallets whacks him
on the head out of nowhere. "Alright, you made your point... Ouch that smarts..."
Ryoga just laughs at the developing lump on Ranma's head. "You always had a big
mouth Ranma. It serves you right." The bucket above Ryoga's head starts to tip a little.
"Umm... I was just kidding ok?! Come on... please don't..."
"Who's laughing now P-chan? Are you scared of the little bucket? He's probably
bluffing anyway..." said Ranma. He looks up at his own bucket to see it tipped all the way
over his head. He's instantly turned into a girl after being splashed with the cold water.
"You were saying Ranma? You always didn't know when to quit did you?" laughed Ryoga.
"Now, why don't we try to find a way out of here..."
"I already told you, there's no way out until I can think of something to write
you idiots. Are you both always this stuborn?!" screamed the loudspeaker. Then, after the
writer remembers all the Ranma tapes he has ever watched (which is quite alot mind you
seeing as how there is so much out there anyway), he decided to drop the subject. "So, who
wants takeout?"
"Just where are we supposed to get takeout from anyway genius?" said the girl Ranma.
"I don't really see any restaurants in here." She's cut short as a bike with a girl carrying
a Ramen takeout order lands on him.
"Nihao Ranma!" says Shampoo as she rides the bike off of Ranma's back and pours hot
water from a kettle she had on him. "Did you order takeout from Cat Cafe?"
"I had to ask didn't I..." said the now boy Ranma. "Well at least we got something
to eat now. Thanks Shampoo. Well what next writer, you don't plan on dumping anyone else on
me do you?"
"Not any at the moment anyway," said the loudspeaker, "but if you don't start to
behave yourselves, there may be some changes..."
"Like what?" asked Ryoga. "How long do you think it is going to take for you to
come up with an idea anyway?" He is cut short however as a man with long dark hair and
glasses falls from the ceiling on top of him.
"Shampoo... you forgot the chopsticks..." wheezed Mousse. Ryoga pushed him off of
himself.
"Get off me you four-eyed duck!" yelled Ryoga. "Why does this kind of thing always
happen to me anyway? Why couldn't Akane fall on me or something..."
"Because it's not in my budget. Besides, you get to sleep with her don't you? I
wouldn't complain if I were you," said the loudspeaker. Ranma turned a jealous shade of red
after hearing the last remark.
"You know Ryoga, sometimes you're an even bigger pervert than Happosai. At least I
don't turn into a pig to sleep with Akane," scolded Ranma. "Of course, you don't steal
panties or anything..." said Ranma with a sigh.
Ryoga whacks Ranma over the head with his parasol that he always has with him (well,
not always, but you get the point). "Shut up Ranma! How could you know my pain?! It's all
your fault!" yells Ryoga as he tries to open a big ol' can of wup ass on Ranma again.
"Jeez, and here I thought I could leave you guys alone for a couple minutes. You
really are a bunch of perverts aren't you?" says the speaker. Ryoga gets drenched from a
bucket of water and turns into his P-chan form. "Maybe you'll behave now."
"Squeal! Oink!" is all P-chan could say to show his dissatisfaction for the current
situation. A kettle with hot water materialized and poured itself on Ryoga. "Well at least
you didn't leave me like that," said the now rejuvenated Ryoga.
"Ummm... Did you guys forget about us or something? We came through all the trouble
of going through this guy's mind to deliver this," said Mousse. "We should at least sit down
and eat it."
With that they all sat down for a nice meal of Ramen. Lucky for me, very little
fighting occured during the meal. Well, there always is some verbal fighting, but that
really doesn't count now does it?
The meal continued, and everyone sat happilly slurping up their noodles with their
chopsticks. "Any requests?" I asked, and most were japanese songs that I never heard of, so
I just put on some Ranma theme music just for effect.
"Like we don't hear this enough as it is..." said Ranma. "Are you sure you don't at
least know the themes to any other shows like Bakuretsu Hunters or something."
Visions of the scantily clad lead females in that series danced in my head, but I
couldn't place a song to it. "Sorry, I don't really remember it off-hand, but I don't mind
bringing them into the story if you don't."
"Ranma," said Ryoga, "only you or the writer would watch peverted shows like that,
and to think that our daily lives are bad enough..." Another of those big ol' mallets whacks
him upside the head, and he falls to the ground dazed.
"Hey, I don't judge you," said the speaker, "and I expect to be treated the same way.
But if you don't want any other shows mixed in with this, I'll respect that. Maybe you guys
should start to watch your mouths from now on..."
"Momma, I want to ride the pink elephant..." said a dazed Ryoga on the ground. He
just lied on the ground for a few more minutes speaking more nuggets of gibberish. Then, all
of a sudden... "*Fly me to the moon...*"
Tape appeared over his mouth which, thankfully, stopped most of that annoying song
from getting through. "I think we've had enough references to other shows for one day..."
said the speaker. "Maybe a quick cold then hot water splash will snap him out of it."
A bucket of cold water appeared out of nowhere, and drenched Ryoga. P-chan squealed
his anoyance at being turned into a pig, and tried to jump at the loud speaker. Of course,
he hit a force-field, and ended up on the floor again. Next, a trademark kettle with hot
water turned him back into a fully awake Ryoga.
"You didn't have to hit me so hard you jerk..." said Ryoga. "Why do I always end up
getting beat up by Ranma or somebody. It always gets on my nerves."
"Any requests for more visitors?" said the speaker, and hearing none, the writer
spun the mystery guest wheel next to his computer and came up with...
"Ranma darling!" said a voice. "Wither Akane Tendo?" said another voice.
"Oh no... You're kidding..." said Ranma as Kodachi and Kuno dropped into the room.
Everybody else groaned their own disapproval of the new guests.
"And I thought we all had problems already..." said Mousse.
"Ranma most all," said Shampoo.
"Hey, don't blame me. It was a random choice, and they were just the ones picked by
chance..." appologized the speaker. "You didn't speak up when you all had the chance, and
now we're all paying for it."
Kodachi hung around Ranma's neck, and Kuno kept asking for the "Pig-Tailed-Girl's"
phone number. Ranma was being loaded down with gifts for both his boy and girl side, and he
was getting pretty sick and tired of it.
"Isn't there anyway that we can stop this madness?.." asked a desperate Ranma.
"Well, we could have a vote..." said the speaker. Immediately, all the hands except
for Kuno and Kodachi went up. "I guess that settles it..." Kuno and Kodachi blinked out of
the pseudo-reality and there was much rejoycing. "I guess I'll try again on the mystery guest
wheel..."
They all yelled their dissapproval, and I was forced to try some other methods. "Are
there any requests this time?" said the speaker.
"Are you absolutely sure it can be anybody?" asked Ranma.
"Sure," said the speaker, "what do you have in mind?" Although, I knew I should be
worried at a moment like this.
"Well," said Ranma, "maybe you could have everybody at the Tendo school drop in, and
we could have a party or something to pass time."
"That's not a half bad idea Ranma," said Ryoga. "Maybe I can dance with Akane if we
have a party..." He started dozing off into one of those "daydream realities" with the
sparkly eyes and stuff.
"Yeah whatever 'Mr. Two Left Feet,' like you'd even be able to find your way around
the dance floor," said Ranma.
"Shut up Ranma!" yelled Ryoga. "It's not my fault that I have such a bad sense of
direction!"
"Well," said the speaker, "I guess we'll have to straighten up the room a bit if
we're going to have a party. Any more suggestions?"
"Let's have it in the Juusenkyo training ground!" said Ranma, Ryoga, Shampoo and
Mouse in unision.
"Sorry guys," said the speaker, "but that would be cheating wouldn't it? You should
go there on your own time, not mine."
"So close..." said Ranma.
"I get great-grandmother to cook," said Shampoo.
"But, first we need to get her here first," said the speaker, as Cologne dropped in.
"Hello future son-in-law," said Cologne. "So, I hear you need someone to cook for
you."
"Well, at least it's not as bad as Kuno and Kodachi..." said Ranma.
"Now for the rest of the guests," said the speaker. "That's everyone living at the
Tendo school right?"
"That's right," said Ranma. Then he remembered who all was staying there. "Wait,
all except..."
Too late, Genma, Akane, Nabiki, and all the rest were there. "Happosai..." said
Ranma.
"Woo hoo!" yelled Happosai. "Now they have nowhere to run! Come here my little
pretties..." He started chasing after all the girls when he suddenly ran into an invisible
force field.
"Now children, play nice or I'll have to get medieval on your ass," said the speaker.
"Spoilsport..." said Happosai.
"Hey, it's not that I don't want to, but I'm not that much of a pervert," said the
speaker.
"Now for the music..." said the speaker as the biggest home stereo in history popped
out of the floor. "Meet the super deluxe Slam Master 5000. It's even got a turn-table. Any
requests?"
"Who the hell listens to records today except for old farts like Happosai anyway?"
said Ranma.
"Well this 'old fart' can kick yer keister to next week Ranma," growled Happosai
"but I'd rather fondle you a bit if you turned into..." He was cut short as Ranma whacked him
upside his head.
Everybody started to decorate the room for the party. Mousse even shot streamers out
of his sleeves. They also made sure that Akane stayed away from the food preparation. Genma
helped with the food tasting, and Kasumi helped Colonge make the feast. Ryoga practiced
his dance moves, and Happosai kept hitting on all the girls, but I kept him in check (thanks
to whoever created those wooden mallet thingies... what fun...).
After a while, the plain grey room looked good enough for a real party. No, not a
keg party, who knows how weird it'll get if they get drunk? Anyway, the room is all bright
and festive and a nice feast is laid out on a buffet table. Dance music is blasting out of
the Slam Master 5000, and everyone is having a good time.
Well, almost everyone. Ryoga and Mousse wait their turns to dance with Shampoo and
Akane respectively.
"I'm gonna get that Ranma..." said Ryoga. "Just because I have trouble asking Akane
to dance with me..."
"You think you got problems?" said Mousse. "At least she notices you."
"It's not my fault you can't see your own two feet," said Ryoga. "But, you're right
about us both having problems."
Eventually, their turns come, and Ranma and Genma are left on the side lines.
"That Shampoo's quite a dancer son..." said Genma. "My head's still spinning."
"She probably danced with you to get you to talk me into marrying her," said Ranma.
"That's no way to talk about a friend, son," said Genma. "I though I raised you
better than that."
"You're the one who traded me for a fish and some pickles," scolded Ranma.
"I was dying of hunger! And don't forget about the rice!" exclaimed Genma. "I got
you back didn't I?"
"And I thought I had economic problems..." said the speaker.
"Who asked you anyway?!" exclaimed Genma.
"Come on Ranma, go ask Akane to dance again," said Soun. "If you keep that up this
marriage may get off the ground, and I can retire in peace."
"Why do you keep trying to get me to marry your tomboy of a daughter anyway?!" yelled
Ranma.
"I heard that!" yelled back Akane.
"It's like their already married..." said Soun and Genma simultaniously.
"Who were you dancing with anyway, Soun old friend?" asked Genma.
"Nabiki," answered Soun, "I couldn't let the master do any more damage to this
already disfunctional family."
"Well who's dancing with her now?" asked Ranma.
"Why that would be..." said Soun as he stoped short. "Uh oh..."
From across the room, they could see Happosai start chasing after Nabiki, only to be
stoped short of his goal by various objects and devices (some mine and some improvised by
Nabiki).
"I guess we don't have to worry too much..." sighed Soun.
"Well, what about Kasumi?" asked Genma.
"I got that covered to," said the speaker.
"Could it be that I have a moment of peace?" said Soun. "Finally after all this
time..." he said as he started to get teary eyed.
"Might as well live it up while we can," said Genma, "I'm going to check out the
refreshments."
"Fine, just leave me here..." said Ranma as everyone started walking away.
"You still got me," said the speaker.
"Even worse..." said Ranma.
"You're no fun, why don't you go and enjoy yourself?" asked the speaker. "This party
was your idea anyway, so why not live it up while you can?"
"I know!" said Ranma, "We can have a martial arts karaoke contest!"
"Martial arts this, martial arts that..." said the speaker, "if you ask me, I would
say all these different martial arts things are a waste of time. Come on, you're suggesting
martial arts karaoke for crying out loud!"
"I guess your right, but what about martial arts binge drinking?" asked Ranma.
"Why do I even try..." said the speaker.
"Hey everyone," yelled Ranma, "we're gonna have a martial arts bin..." When all of
a sudden, tape appeared over his mouth. "Mmmmph... *grunt*..." finished Ranma.
"That was close," said the speaker. "I don't know what would happen if they all got
drunk. I don't even want to know..."
"Mmmmmph... *grunt... *snarl*..." threatened Ranma.
"Yeah like you could pull that move off," said the speaker. "If you behave, I might
allow a contest, but definitely not martial arts binge drinking."
Ranma gave in and the tape was removed from his mouth, much to his relief.
"Well how about martial arts table tennis?" asked Ranma.
"You've already done that when Akane ate the "super soba" noodles, remember?" said
the speaker.
"Then maybe we can have a martial arts fingerpainting contest," said Ranma.
"How old are you anyway?" said the speaker.
"I'm sixteen," said Ranma.
"Then why don't you act like it?" asked the speaker.
"That's what I'm always wondering," said Akane from across the room.
"Who asked you anyway?!" yelled back Ranma.
"Oh look the newly-weds are fighting," said Nabiki as she was still trying to
ditch Happosai.
"Come back Nabiki! I'll be a good boy..." called Happosai as he tried to keep up
with Nabiki.
"Anyway," said Ranma, "how about..."
After Ranma is continuly turned down time and again, he gives up and tried to have
a good time. Although most of it was beating on Happosai.
Then it hit me. Why didn't I ask them for help thinking of a story? "Hey you guys,"
said the speaker, "do you have any ideas for how this story should end?"
"Well I..." said Happosai as he was cut off by the rest of the cast putting duct tape
all around him. "Mmmph... "(thinking) *I'll get you for this, how dare you treat your master
in such a disrespectful manner...*
"Ok," said the speaker, "now that he's out of the way, does anyone have any other
ideas?"
"Now that you mention it," said Ryoga, "I've been having such a good time that I can't
think of anything else."
"Have Ranma marry Shampoo!" exclaimed Shampoo.
"This isn't the dating game," said the speaker. "Where did we leave off in the
beginning?"
"I think Ryoga and me were fighting," said Ranma.
"That's 'Ryoga and I'," corrected the speaker.
"Whatever, 'Mister Perfect'," said Ranma.
"Ok, so Ranma wins again, and we all live miserably after," said Mousse. "Can we go
home now?"
"It's not that easy," said the speaker. "We have to come up with lines and other things
too. Possibly some dramatic music, followed by well choreographed fight scenes."
"Who cares," muttered Ranma. "We just want to go home."
"All right then," said the speaker, "here's your scripts."
Everyone got a small but well written (I do have omnipotent powers in here you know)
script to the ending of the story. Some weren't very pleased...
"Ummm... who's Shinji?" asked a puzzled Ryoga.
"Let me see that," said the speaker as he scanned the script.
"I be Asuka," said Shampoo.
"Wait a minute..." said the speaker.
"I'll be Kaji," said Happosai as he finally got out of his bindings.
"I said to wait for a god damn minute!" screamed the speaker.
"What's wrong with this script?" asked Mousse.
"It's the script for my 'EVA Sings' fanfic," said the speaker.
"It'll be fun to do something different for once," said Ryoga.
"It's been fun, but I think we should just say good bye before anything else happens,"
said the speaker.
"So we finally get to go home..." sighed Ranma. "I can't say that it's been fun
though."
"Whatever, just get out of my mind before I go crazy or something (or am I
already...)," said the speaker.
With that only Mousse dissappeared leaving another long/dark haired man in a simmilar
robe in his place.
"We're not home yet genius..." grumbled Ranma.
"Oops, sorry, I guess there was a small glitch in my thought processes," said the
speaker.
"Who is that guy anyway?" asked Nabiki. "He's kinda cute..."
"What other guy?" asked the speaker back. "Didn't I just fail to send you home?"
"That one," said Nabiki as she pointed to him.
"I believe they're referring to me," said the long dark haired man.
"Wait a minute, you're Marron right?" asked the speaker.
"You're correct," answered Marron.
"Then where did Mousse go to..." said the speaker.
---
Mousse found himself in a forest with four people staring down at him. Two of them were
female, and the other two were male. Right about now, he was wandering what the hell was going
on. "You're not Shampoo..." said Mousse.
=======================================================
The End, hope ya liked it. Sorry about all the little crossover stuff. I was running out of
space.