What Women Want

You asked for it, you got it! Wow... thanks for all the reviews! *sniffs* I feel so loved… Here's chapter two!

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Chapter Two—Women think about... what?!?
By: Karina Kineshi

"Oi! Jou-chan?" I winced. My voice didn't sound like it belonged to me, but compared to the day's experiences thus far, I was prepared for anything. "Open the door already!"

//Sanosuke? I thought I heard someone... Yahiko! You insolent...\\

A hit, then I could hear sounds of Yahiko's obvious discomfort at being whacked on the head. Probably for insulting Kaoru again; it was amusing to watch the two bicker like brother and sister, they would never admit to each other that life without the other would be a boring affair. The door opened, but it wasn't Kaoru who greeted me. "Hey Kenshin."

The rurouni's mouth turned up into a smile. "We haven't seen you around here in a while Sano. How are you?" Ah, the formality of the whole thing. I hadn't been here at the dojo in over 3 weeks now, mainly spending all my time either at the clinic getting my hand fixed or sleeping. Come to think of it, I can't remember what I have been doing all this time.

I shrugged, "Fine I guess."

Kenshin's lilac eyes reflected mine, and I saw worry there. "You sure? You're looking a little... white..." He squinted. "Have you been eating well?"

I laughed in spite of myself. "Kenshin, you should know by now that I never miss a meal." I'm pale? What's happening to me? It must just be a side effect from the whole women thing. Megumi says that shock is evident when one is pale, and I was about as shocked as they come. She'd go white with shock herself when she finds out that I actually listened and learned that little tidbit of information from her.

"Yeah, that's right."

Kaoru's face came into view as she stepped out of the dojo. "Ah! Sanosuke! So I wasn't just hearing things..." she ran over to where we stood and gave me a hug.

//You haven't been around in forever...\\

"You haven't been around in forever..." A flood of tears escaped her eyes. I didn't want to tell her that she was cutting off circulation to the lower portion of my body, but I suppose this is the punishment I get for not being around.

"Jou-chan, it's good to see you too. Where's Yahiko?"

Kaoru let go and looked with disdain at the dojo. "I had him do eighty more practice swings for being such an irritating pest." Yeah, typical day at the dojo. Yahiko complains. Yahiko claims to be the master of Kamiya Kasshin Ryu. Yahiko gets punished. Yahiko demands a rematch and gets beaten by Kaoru. Yahiko complains. It's an endless cycle.

Kenshin pointed up at my hand, which held the dragon Tsubame made for Yahiko. I instinctively put it over my head to avoid it being crushed by Kaoru's forceful hug. "What's that?"

"Eh?" I didn't even realize what it was until I looked at it. "Oh, this..." The hand came down so Kaoru and Kenshin could see. Friends they were, but tall they were not.

"Wow..." Kaoru gasped. "It's beautiful..."

I tugged at my collar. "It's for Yahiko."

//Yahiko?\\

"Yahiko? Is it yours? What's it for?" Kenshin unleashed a flood of questions, eyes wide with curiosity. He looked like a kid at a bekkoame stand.

"Kenshin, sometimes I wonder about you... it's a folded dragon. Girls fold a dragon and give it to the one they love..." Kaoru's voice cracked on the last word. It was obvious that she harbored great feeling for the samurai, but he just stood there in his clueless way, admiring the dragon.

//Too bad I can't do anything to make you see...\\

Can't make you see? In a way, Kaoru and I were like kindred spirits. Only in my case, the doctor probably wanted nothing to do with me. At least with Kenshin, he accepted Kaoru's sideways looks even though he didn't always know what they meant. If I ever did something like that with the fox, she'd scold me for being cheeky. "So, I'm supposed to give this thing to Yahiko, then you have to go to the..."

//Kenshin, what do I have to do to help you understand?\\

The look in Kaoru's eyes stopped me cold. Longing, suffering, and hurt, all mixed into one. Her eyes started to water up, but she quickly wiped them away with the back of her hand. "It's just so... nice for Yahiko..." she continued.

//Yahiko's found love before I did. It's not... fair...\\

I just wanted to hug the girl. Kenshin may be the Battousai, but he didn't know jack shit about girl's feelings. Even to someone like me, it was obvious, and now that this whole thought thing has come about... This was new. I never totally grasped that women had the exact same feelings, concerns, and dreams as us men. And they are taught not to show it, unlike men, because of that curtain that society so conveniently placed over their eyes. No wonder the divorce rate in our country is so low, women are afraid of the consequences that have been drilled into their heads time and time again. Divorced women can't go back to their families because they have been disgraced, and other men will not marry her because she has already been married. The only exception to this rule would be if the girl was stunningly beautiful, which was very rare. It made me glad that I wasn't born a woman, to be restricted like this would make me go insane. Or worse.

It's like being suffocated.

"Where?"

"What?" I really need to stop spacing out like that. It's happened to me already three times today.

"What does Yahiko do now?"

//Kenshin, sometimes you drive me to drink!\\

I smiled. "Actually, Tsubame didn't tell me..."

"Hey Sanosuke, long time no see." Yahiko stepped into our conversation so quietly, I didn't even notice when he had come.

"Yahiko, you've grown..." It was true, he couldn't have grown that much physically, but a lot has happened to him in the course of three weeks. He seemed older, more mature, and...

He looked skeptical. "It's only been three weeks Sano."

"Too bad his mind couldn't grow up as well."

"Shut up!"

"Calm down, you two..."

Yeah, just like old times.

//Is he prepared to deal with something like this?\\

Yahiko looked peeved, but he composed himself. "What did Tsubame say?"

"Huh?" I twitched.

"You said something about Tsubame. What was it?" Such directness and formality, it must be rubbing off on him from Kenshin.

//Listen up.\\

Kaoru pointed at my hand. "You're old enough to learn about this... there's a legend about a girl who loved someone very much. He was a very good friend of hers, and they had a normal relationship, but the girl wanted something more..." Kaoru's thoughts briefly broke the flow, probably realizing the irony of the situation. "Well, no matter what she said or did, he didn't notice that she loved him in that way, so she went to sleep despairing...

"That night, the Guardian of the West, Seiryuu, came to her in a dream and told her to fold a piece of paper in his likeness and give it to her love. She will be rewarded with the chance to see just how the man feels..." She paused, then noticed that all of us were watching with anticipation. Kenshin seemed especially riveted.

//I'm a better storyteller than I thought.\\

"So she did, and as the God instructed, she gave it to the man. Seiryuu said that by the next sunset since the gift was delivered, the lady would find out whether or not the man harbored any feelings for her."

Yahiko just sat there with his eyes wide open. "So... what happens?"

//What happens?!?\\

"What in the world do you think happens?"

The junior samurai crossed his arms. "Great story and all, but... what does this has to do with Tsubame?"

//I could wring his neck! I can only stand one dense person around the house!!\\

I learned that women are highly volatile when pissed off, so I scooted closer to the doorway.

"Sano, won't you join us for lunch at the Akabeko?" I didn't want to tell them that I wasn't hungry and that I had just eaten, but they would get suspicious if I turned them down. Also, I wanted to test my thought reading on Megumi, see if there was anything that she thought about other than her patients. I grinned, this was going to be so much fun.

"I'll take that as a yes."

//He's gone all starry-eyed again... do you think it could be about her?\\

What did she just say?

I stammered, feeling all the blood rush to my legs. Oh yeah, I'm sure that was a dead giveaway. "Sure..."

Kaoru grinned. //Wait until I tell Megumi about this...\\

******************

Gods. I was determined to let that comment about Megumi go, but the next time it comes up I might not be so forgiving. It didn't prepare me for what I was about to go through next. I had been walking down the street with the gang and the closer I got to town, the more I heard their "babble". This would have to be the most uncomfortable I've ever been in my entire life. Yes, entire. Women are scary, scary people. I felt like I was going to go mad, and it was only lunchtime. Females everywhere, permeating my thoughts. But I'm getting carried away with myself, I should first explain the cause of my discomfort. One old woman walked past me and noted that I had a nice butt. I shifted a little, it was kinda flattering, but I was feeling that sense of dread rise up in my throat. Yet another one wondered what it would be like to jump in bed with me.

Oh yes. I was scared now.

They seemed to get more and more bold as we walked into town. But I won't get into that now. Let's just say... I was so uncomfortable that even Yahiko noticed I was all pale. I quote his words: "Sano, you look like your pants are riding up on you." A new lesson I learned from that walk was that women might not outwardly say their thoughts, but it was all on the inside.

I'm going to write about this when it's all over...

When we got inside the Akabeko however, all I could hear was one voice above the rest, Tsubame's.

//What do I say? Do I look ok? He's out there?!? Already? Gods!!\\

Her mind was in a jumble, but I suppose that's what any female, or male, would feel if they had gambled that much on a simple gesture of love. I blinked in surprise, there was a dull throbbing that I could make out, and it sounded like...

A heartbeat.

I can hear heartbeats? It should have scared me, but it didn't. It was almost... calming. The little girl really had everything riding on this little thing, and I could sympathize with her.

Sympathize? I've been doing a lot of sympathizing with the opposite sex since this morning; do you suppose that maybe it was sent to me just for this purpose? Of sympathizing and feeling sorry? Megumi would never accept anyone's pity like that; I guess that's what sets her apart from most women. Instead of being "weaker" and not standing up to men, she defied society and became a doctor. And a damn good one at that. C'mon, don't think me entirely dense, I've noted this, but never from a woman's point of view. What hardships she had to go through just to be there! It was enough to boggle the mind.

"So... what do I have to do if I want to answer her?" Yahiko tried to cover his interest, but was failing miserably.

Kaoru smiled. "Well, you do know that Tanabata is coming up tomorrow, don't you?" Gods, I totally forgot! Kenshin didn't even seem to know in the first place, which sent a spew of vulgar language from Kaoru's mind. She composed herself as we sat down at the table. "Looks like Tsubame picked the ideal time to tell you..."

//Tanabata is so romantic... what any woman would give to have a man on her arm...\\

She shot a glare at Kenshin, who was busy ordering with Tae. Kaoru sighed, then told Yahiko that if you unfold the dragon, it should say where she wants you to meet her. "That is... if you accept. If you don't, don't show up."

Yahiko's face became a mask of disgust. "What man wouldn't show up? It seems like the cowards way out."

Kaoru shrugged. "It's been done before."

//Poor girls...\\

Yahiko echoed what was in my mind, it was spineless just to leave a girl waiting for something that would never show up. But that meant if he accepted, then they would officially be a couple. Here's a little tidbit from the guys point of view, men absolutely hate the word "official". When it isn't "official", you can get away with so much more stuff than if you weren't "official". Being "official" meant no more looking at other girls, no more chatting with your friends about other girls, and all around being faithful. Yes, I know this sounds selfish, but this is what guys don't like. We like to be free to sample the best of the world before settling down, because life's short and you take it as it's coming at you.

Yahiko did the manliest thing he could do; he put the dragon on the table and started eating.

//Well?\\

"What's your answer?"

Yahiko glared at Kaoru. "This is just between her and me, it's none of your business." Kaoru was obviously unsatisfied at his tone, but he was right. It didn't, or shouldn't, concern anyone else.

//Why are they being so quiet? It's one-sided to talk with Yahiko...\\

She was right. Kenshin and I haven't been speaking at all; the rurouni had his eyes closed. To bad I couldn't tell what he was thinking. "So..." Kaoru started. "How's life been Sanosuke?"

Great. There's nothing like a forced conversation to lighten the mood. "Fine." She nodded, then smiled.

//Something's wrong.\\

I wondered if I could send thoughts to women as well as receive them. I closed my eyes and tried to send a message to Tsubame. Well, I thought, Yahiko likes the dragon, but he wouldn't tell any of us if he was going to meet you or not. I don't know whether to congratulate you or feel sorry for you. There. That should do it. I doubted it would go through, but it was worth a shot. A lot of things have been happening today, and this wouldn't be too out of the ordinary. I caught Tae's eyes briefly, they had that inquiring look to them.

//So, what did he say?\\

I could do nothing but look back at her.

I don't know.

At another table, I saw a woman crying into a cup of sake, the top already littered with bottles. She was alone. Her hair was disheveled and unkempt, and her kimono looked like it hadn't been washed for days. You didn't have to be a mind reader to know the cause of this woman's misfortune. One frequently encountered women such as these in the local taverns, crying at their misery. Only their thoughts tormented them, and the sake was there to help wash them away. Her husband had either ran off with another woman or just forsaken her with her children. The cowards way out. My heart went to her, and as much as I tried to ignore her thoughts, her unhappiness pervaded the restaurant. And can say that this was the most eye-opening experiences I've ever encountered, and along with the old woman earlier that day, I would never forget what she thought.

//God, is everything I do... not good enough for you?\\

It was like a kabuki theater gone wrong. I was there to experience the woman's tragedy, her husband was abusive and liked to beat on her. By the way, her name was Sayoko. Ryuusuke Sayoko. She had a scar on her wrist from where he tried to slash at her with a knife. Despite it all, she was left clinging to the hope that he would reform his ways, and become the loving father she had always dreamed of. Unfortunately, it wasn't to be. He ran off with another woman, taking her children with him. She was all alone in the world now, with no one to care or love her.

I felt sick. This was just... revolting. It's men like that that shame our kind, and if I had met him on the road somewhere, he wouldn't stand a chance against me. Much later, after this whole thing was over, I heard about the woman again. Her body was found floating in the river. She had killed herself.

******************

I decided I couldn't stand the pressure inside the restaurant anymore and excused myself from the table. I hastily made up an excuse that I had to go home because of something I had to do. When Kaoru asked what it was, I just said it was something. Yeah, I know. But I needed time to think. This had opened up my mind in ways that I couldn't imagine; it's as if it was touching the recesses of my soul that have been closed up. I honestly didn't know how to deal with something like this, so I did what I always do. Run. Sagara Sanosuke doesn't run from a fight, but he runs from his own thoughts. It was odd, but it worked for me.

I just wanted to sit on a busy street and learn everything from all the women passing by. The more I listened, the more I felt myself getting attached to them. There was no doubt in my mind now that I was chosen to get this. But that still didn't answer why. If I had chosen anyone to give this mind thing to, I would have given it the assholes who leave their wives behind like that. My fists clenched involuntarily, and I could feel my nails digging into my palm.

It wasn't fair dammit!

//Nothing's fair, child.\\

I spun around, utterly shocked. I didn't imagine that, someone was talking to me. There I stared into the face of another old woman, sitting behind her stand and fanning herself with a piece of brightly folded paper. Her skin looked like a burlap sack that had been washed one too many times, and it creased all over her face like the folds in her fan. In front of her, she peddled her wares, all different kinds of paper. Gold, red, blue, purple, silver... all the colors that one could imagine. You could see it from halfway across the street it was so vivid. The corners of her eyes were even more wrinkled with her smile. "What's the matter child? Your mouth is opening and closing like a fish."

Something told me that I should be feeling prickly, but she emanated a kind of magnetism. Well, it's not the kind of magnetism that draws me to Megumi, but it was in another league of its own. I would be screaming hysterically or drop in a faint if it wasn't for that magnetism. I can't really explain it, I guess that's the best I can do. "You... know?"

The woman smiled again, but didn't say anything.

//You can get out of my thoughts now, you're not getting anything out of me.\\

I recoiled and suddenly felt very tired, the day's events were draining all my energy from my body. "What's happening to me?" A part of me wanted to stay there all day and ask the woman questions that I didn't have an answer to. Like, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" or "What is the meaning of life?" Something in her eyes told me that she had all the answers. The irony of the situation was, if she did have all the answers, I couldn't pry them out of her mind. This angered me. I was mad at this whole escapade without knowing the reason why, I was mad at the bastards that would just leave their wives like that, I was mad...

"You've kept it pent up for so long. It's time to let it go."

This felt like the most natural thing in the world. Her eyes had a strange quality of being able to look into your heart. It was a rare person who had such eyes. I just wanted to cry until my eyes turned raw, the woman seemed like she would understand. Like, she would say that it's happened all before. She wouldn't try to offer advice or interject with her own personal story, but she would just... listen.

I was mad...

//Why?\\

She must have known why, because her smile grew wider. My rage boiled inside me, is this just some kind of cruel joke? It certainly didn't feel like one. The Gods in heaven must randomly pick out a person on Earth and toy with his mind like this. Drive him to an early grave. Yes, it had to be a joke. This woman was a joke.

"Of course I'm not Sanosuke, you insult me..."

I turned around and started to walk away, there was no way I'm putting up with this kind of shit any longer. Most people would go insane upon all the events I've suffered through, but here I was, still sane. But not for long, I thought bitterly, I need a nice, long drink. My brain was so littered with thoughts that I didn't even stop to consider that I never told her my name.

"Before you leave, please take this." The ancient woman stretched out her hand and with surprising force, pried open my palm. She picked up a marvelous red and silver piece of paper and pressed it into my hand. It was quite large but surprisingly light, I'm estimating the it was the length of Kenshin's sakaba, maybe a little smaller. The pattern on it was pretty, silver stars curling around the edges, like those plants growing around my apartment.

What the hell, I could use some paper...

Without even having the courtesy to say thanks, I just went on my way. Somehow though, she must have known. I know it. I was sickened at what I had become these last few hours, a whimpering baby. How could I have not seen this before? Women were crying out for help, and no one wanted to even bother. It's like they were property, as lowly as the horse or the ox that plowed the fields.

A commodity.

But yet... they could still find it in their hearts to love us, and care for us. Despite all society's teachings, they could still harbor feelings. This impressed me beyond my understanding. I saw them in a whole new light. And let me tell you, it felt wonderful.

******************

//A dragon...\\

The old woman's hands slowly, delicately, folded a piece of paper in the likeness of the fabled God of the West. She was staring at the man's retreating figure.

//Evil? Hardly...\\

She laughed, the merry sound dancing on the breeze.

******************

I looked at the paper in my hand, stepping out of my blind awe of women for a moment. Why had she given this to me?

//A dragon...\\

A dragon? I stared unseeing at the paper for the longest time, right in the middle of the street. No one seemed to notice though, probably just shrugging me off as a guy with a bad hangover.

//Evil? Hardly...\\

My eyes widened, and I laughed at the paper. I just got the most marvelous idea.

******************

Well, here I am, about six hours later, and my fingers hurt like hell. Kaoru and Kenshin were wondering where I was all this time, but even if I had told them, they wouldn't have believed me. Seems that I needed some alone time to reflect on what has happened so far. I found myself walking down the narrow dirt path to where the clinic was, and where Megumi was waiting. The sun was just setting, and it would be a matter of minutes until it would be dark. If I had played my cards right, things would be going my way come three days time. The clinic looked deserted, but I knew she was there. Not only does she stay at the clinic at night in case of emergencies, but I could hear her. Her thoughts were soft, but still noticeable. To my dismay, nothing about me or love, just regular stuff like "I really should be making dinner now."

That irked me, but it was a comfort to know she was alone. I cautiously tiptoed up to the door, fearing what she would say if she found me here sneaking around like this. Nah, her mind told me she didn't suspect a thing. I carefully laid down the work that six hours of painful labor had produced, right on the doorstep. I propped it up against a stone so it wouldn't blow away, and when I thought everything was right, something just had to go wrong.

I stepped on a twig.

//What's that?\\

I stupidly stood there, not knowing what I should do.

Run, you idiot! I bolted to the nearest hedge some distance from the Megumi's clinic and dove in. She was getting a short sword that she kept above her medicines, just in case of emergencies.

//If it's some idiot trying to steal anything in here... he's going to be needing some medical care by the time I'm through!\\

She was afraid, I could hear that heartbeat again. Most likely, she was convincing herself that she had the upper hand with that sword, but deep down she knew that if the attacker was someone stronger than her, she didn't have a chance.

See fox, it's the confidence that does it. One of your redeeming traits.

I watched, apprehensive from my view in between the greenery as she cracked the door ever so slightly. A sliver of light shot out into the yard, and I held my breath.

//Hmm... must be my--\\

She looked down. Her thoughts of burglars and murderers vanished when she saw what was lying below her.

//A... dragon?\\

Megumi opened the door even more and bent over to examine it.

//It's... a dragon...\\

I couldn't help but smile. Damn straight! Could you just imagine for a minute how hard it was to fold that thing? I've never even done origami before, and about three minutes into trying to figure out how it was done, I gave up. The paper was too pretty to be marred by my failed attempts, so I went to the only person I knew could help me. Katsu. I mean, he was an artist right? He should know more about this than I do...

He was a little skeptical at first, and with that glint in his eyes he asked whom it was for. I answered that it was for me of course, why would I give anyone the honor of my first dragon? He laughed, then said that he would fold it for me. I stubbornly replied that I wanted to do it by myself, and either he show me how it's done, or I go home and try it myself. I had never seen his eyes twinkle before, and I got out of there so I could start folding. Hell yeah, there was frustration. It wasn't perfect, but dammit, it was as close as I could get it. To my eyes, it was the most beautiful thing I've ever created.

//Who?\\

Megumi's head snapped up and she looked around the yard. It seemed like she was staring straight at me, but I knew that she didn't suspect a thing. I wanted to jump and say "Yes!! It was me!" but that would ruin the magic of the moment.

//Too bad the poor guy doesn't know that only women do this for men...\\

What?!? I mentally made a note to myself; hit Katsu next time I see him. I could imagine his laughing face now... "Bakayarou!" I sighed; I see that that little bit of info was causing his eyes to glimmer like that. It really didn't matter now. In a way, it was reflective of this day's events; as Kenshin would say, I am getting in touch with my "feminine side". My hostility towards Katsu disappeared when I grinned. Kenshin was more right than he knew.

She picked up the dragon and took one last look at the surrounding area before closing the door.

//But... it's a nice change of pace.\\

The same thing that was going through Tsubame's mind after I told her that Yahiko would love it was also going through Megumi's. That distinct flying feeling again. In her heart, she was happy with it, but on the outside... Megumi set the dragon down on the center of the table and started to formulate all the excuses she would use.

//"Why, who is the dragon for, sensei? It's so lovely..."\\

//"Well..."\\

This little scene jerked me up into attention. Maybe this is the part where she confesses her burning desires for me. I smirked; this was close enough to beautiful ladies feeding me grapes.

Yeah right.

//It's for...\\

No! No!! Something in me screamed to turn away. Gods! My conscience was beating me over the head with a stick; it always picked the worst times to flare up on me. As much as I hated to admit it... it was right. Damn, I hated that. Damn damn damn. I felt unbearably guilty, and I'm sure that Megumi wouldn't be too happy about this. I would feel scummy, and she would feel even more scummy for not being able to control her mind. I smiled, I liked to think of it as I was protecting her from herself. Besides, I would find out in three days time anyways whether or not she wanted to be "official". I shuddered as all men do, but I sort of liked the sound of the word "official" as it rolled off my tongue. Well, it would only sound good if Megumi accepted.

So close, dammit!! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity! It might not even be here tomorrow... My mind was shrieking at me to stay. I looked over my shoulder at the clinic, the light shining through the paper door. Like the light that woke me up this morning. Light that started this whole madhouse adventure.

God, you're getting soft... the Sanosuke I know wouldn't walk away like this. The Sanosuke I know would be up there and hiding underneath that window...

I stopped and thought about that. I'm not the same person I started this morning as. Yesterday seemed like another life, another Sano. Maybe it was for the better...

//Sanosuke? It's from Sanosuke?\\

My mind was made up. I strolled away, hands in my pockets. I found it unbearably difficult to just walk like that, but as before, the body moved under it's own control. I've always depended on the body movement even though I didn't want it to, I trusted that more than my biased mind. My brain could yell at myself all I wanted, but somehow... this made it even more exciting.

Tomorrow seemed so close, yet out of reach. See you there, Megumi.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's notes: *giggles evilly* Sorry about the cliffhanger... this went in a totally different direction from the plan I had intended, it came out all dark towards the middle. I needed to make up a legend, but I didn't know how, so... that's an excuse to this sapfest. And the old woman at the paper stand? Don't ask... I have no clue either. *shrugs* Ah well... one more chapter to go!