On past and future
By Carla
DISCLAIMER
Challenger, Marguerite, Roxton, Malone and Veronica belong to Telescene, not to me. No infraction to their rights is meant, I'm just having a little fun. I own nothing but the story.
Chapter IV
Marguerite heard the elevator come up around five in the morning. She knew that Roxton had come back home; still things were not easier that way. She closed her eyes. She was laying on her bed so she decided to sleep for a couple of hours. Her approaching Roxton was meant to be a disaster, so she might as well put it off the longer she could.
The first thing Roxton noticed when he entered the treehouse was Keith sleeping in the living room. Good, he thought. At least he knew his leaving had meant something to her. That, or she was already tired of the other man... God! Why his mind kept going on like that? Why was it so hard to simply assume that she loved him? Second-guesses, half-trues, all that was destroying him slowly. He had to do something.
Roxton was sure she had heard him come back, yet she didn't meet him. Obviously, she was waiting, she didn't want to confront him yet. He thanked her for that, for he had no idea of what he would say or do the moment he saw her again.
Malone said his good-night and headed to his room. Roxton didn't know what to do. He knew there would be no sleeping for him that night, and he couldn't take his eyes away from the man lying on the couch in front of him.
"I'm awake, you know?" Keith's voice startled him. Roxton had assumed that the other man was sleeping. Lawrence now sat up in the couch, looking at him straight in the eyes. The man was so unnerving, like he was sure about always having the upper hand. In a way, Keith reminded Roxton of Marguerite herself.
"Good for you." Roxton wanted to forget that the man had ever crashed into the Lost World and his life. He wanted to go to his room, but his legs were not moving.
"Whatever you want to say Roxton, you might as well do it now that we are alone."
"Excuse me?" Roxton could feel all his fury flowing to his brain again "You expect me to cry or something? She's your wife! Big deal! What do I care?"
"Right, you don't care. That's why you left like you did." Roxton was looking for another vase, this guy had obviously missed the lesson there.
"Stay out of this Lawrence."
"I can't. I'm in the middle already."
"In the middle of what?"
"Of unspoken truths. Loving her is hard as hell. I mean, loving her like a man who wants a future with her. I know it, I once did." Roxton felt his heart sink to his feet. All this time, he had hoped that there was no real love between them.
"Luckily for you she's your wife."
"Are you kidding? She wouldn't have married me if she loved me! I told you I wanted a real relationship with her once, but she turned me down, because she cares for me." Keith could see Roxton's dumbfounded expression. Man! He was not getting it at all. Keith couldn't help himself but to grin.
"Something funny?"
"You actually. You really don't understand her thinking, do you? Can't blame you. I told you the truth, about when we met. I was fourteen, she was thirteen. Since then, I was meant to fall hard on the knees for her at least once, don't you think? I did. She didn't want something like that. I've seen her in love Roxton, not with me!" he added, noticing the change in Roxton's face "And she had no idea how to deal with it. I see you both, and she's scared, as much as you are."
"Who said I was scared?"
"You did, by your actions. You want a promise I will stay out of her bed? I won't give you that. I will sleep with her whenever we both feel like it, and we owe you no explanations. Want to know why? Because you have no real claim to her. So you see Roxton, I do. And I don't mean the marriage at all. If Marguerite told me now she wants to be with you, I wouldn't care, I probably would be happy for her. But there's nothing concrete there." With that, Keith lay back again on the couch to catch up in his sleep. Roxton was shocked by his words, but was not about to show it in front of his rival. So, he went to his room. He had no words for Keith, and he had no idea of what to do with Marguerite.
Marguerite rose the last the next day, even though she had not slept at all. She just lay on her bed, and since she was not particularly interested in seeing anyone, she just stayed there. But now, she was sick of the bed and felt like taking a bath.
When she came out of her room, everyone greeted her like nothing had happened. Still, Roxton barely looked her way, and Keith stood up to greet her.
"Finally up! Good to see some things never change." Keith kissed her lightly in the lips. It was an usual gesture between both of them, but she was sure that Roxton would see it the wrong way.
"Hi Keith." She made her way past him and took her place in the table. As she took some fruit, she noticed Veronica hovering around Keith. She knew him all too well, he was trying to get her into his bed. She would have to talk to him. Veronica might not be her closer friend, but she knew she was not ready for that. For once, she was pretty sure Veronica had not done it before. Then, she also knew Keith Lawrence was just playing around, and realized that this could hurt Veronica. Truth be told, the blonde woman seemed quite taken with Lawrence. Marguerite couldn't blame her, he was quite handsome, but he also was a Don Juan. She would have to tell him to step back, later.
Now, Marguerite was concentrating in Roxton. They kept avoiding each other all through breakfast, but she knew they couldn't keep up that game forever. Still, she wasn't sure about whatever move may come next.
"I'm going to take a bath." She announced suddenly. She needed to clear her head.
"You can't go alone." Veronica took Roxton's place in scolding her.
"I'll go with you." Keith offered. She was about to refuse when someone beat her to it.
"No! *I* will go with her." Roxton didn't ask and made it clear there was no way either Marguerite or Keith could refuse. Marguerite was a little unnerved now, what would they talk about? But this showed her that Roxton was ready to clear the air between them.
Marguerite and Roxton had been walking for half an hour now, yet they hadn't said anything. They finally reached the pond and she was about to ask him to turn around when she realized he already had. You're not making this any easier John, she thought to herself. She started undressing slowly and went into the water, more to clean her soul than her body.
John thought it would be easier once they were alone. He would tell her that he loved her and put himself at her mercy. Yet he couldn't. Because a simple thought kept hanging in his mind, She doesn't trust you. And that was a fact, Marguerite trusted Keith more than him. Also, she had known this man since she was thirteen, and Roxton was quite sure there were some things she didn't trust him with either. What were his chances? Maybe this was for the best. Was he ready to commit his life to her? Would she agree? There was too much at risk. He just couldn't bring himself to speak to her truthfully about his feelings. He was sure that she felt something for him as well, but the question was, Does she love me enough? He wasn't sure anymore. Funny thing about determination, it usually lasts less than a day.
She was still at her bath, probably staying in the water as long as she could to avoid talking to him. Her clothes were nearby, he took her blouse in his hands, as if the simple thing could tell him what to do.
"That's harassment in some countries Lord Roxton." He jumped when he noticed Marguerite was standing behind him. He didn't hear her coming out of the water and getting dressed. How much time had passed? Her hair was soaked and all she was missing was her blouse. She just said that to say something, the silence between them was worse than any words could actually be. Roxton just handed Marguerite her blouse.
"Then I guess you can have your husband kick my ass." He didn't even mean that comment. He could see her fake smile falling with that, but he couldn't repress himself. He was hurting.
"At least we are talking now."
"At least." And what now? I apologize? She apologizes? What now Marguerite? Only questions flew through his brain.
"About what he said..." she started slowly, not really sure of how to put it. "It's true."
"Yes."
"Do you love him?"
"Yes and No."
"Gee, that clarifies it all!" he said sarcastically. He felt the rage again, and now it was directed towards her.
"I love him John, is that what you wanted to hear?"
"No!" he said truthfully "That's the last thing I wanted to hear! You know that!"
"I love him John, like a good friend, like someone who has shared some of the most difficult moments of my life. Do I love him like a wife is supposed to love her husband? I don't. Do I sleep with him? I do. Are there any feelings? Not more than with other men before and after him. Tell me when to stop John! Tell me when you've heard enough!" Now she was mad as well. Because she could see the disappointment on his face, and she knew that was all he would ever feel for her, time and again, and she didn't want that for him or for herself.
"Stop it!" he couldn't do that anymore, and she knew it. And that was the reason they would never make it together. That was the reason they were not together in that very moment. They hurt each other too badly, and they didn't know how to simply say I love you, and be done with it. "Why did you marry him?"
"What?"
"I'm asking why did you marry him?" Marguerite couldn't answer that without going into a real explanation of her life. Now that would scare Roxton away, and probably put his life at risk. She couldn't do that to him.
"I can't answer that."
"Why not?"
"Because I just can't." He looked at her. She was containing her tears, as he was. He wasn't strong enough to keep fighting with her anymore. He didn't want to see her cry and he didn't want to cry either. If you love them set them free... wasn't that the expression? Maybe this was for the best. Maybe he could gather his life without her. Maybe he was as much of a coward as she was. He just couldn't bring himself to say the words, as much as she couldn't bring herself to be honest with him anyway.
"Go back to your husband Marguerite." And then he was gone. And she was left standing there, with her heart breaking in a million pieces. She never saw the tears running down his face, and he never saw hers. She put on her blouse and took the gun he left for her before leaving and started her way to the treehouse, a place she could no longer consider a home. How could any place be a home with his haunting eyes?
By Carla
DISCLAIMER
Challenger, Marguerite, Roxton, Malone and Veronica belong to Telescene, not to me. No infraction to their rights is meant, I'm just having a little fun. I own nothing but the story.
Chapter IV
Marguerite heard the elevator come up around five in the morning. She knew that Roxton had come back home; still things were not easier that way. She closed her eyes. She was laying on her bed so she decided to sleep for a couple of hours. Her approaching Roxton was meant to be a disaster, so she might as well put it off the longer she could.
The first thing Roxton noticed when he entered the treehouse was Keith sleeping in the living room. Good, he thought. At least he knew his leaving had meant something to her. That, or she was already tired of the other man... God! Why his mind kept going on like that? Why was it so hard to simply assume that she loved him? Second-guesses, half-trues, all that was destroying him slowly. He had to do something.
Roxton was sure she had heard him come back, yet she didn't meet him. Obviously, she was waiting, she didn't want to confront him yet. He thanked her for that, for he had no idea of what he would say or do the moment he saw her again.
Malone said his good-night and headed to his room. Roxton didn't know what to do. He knew there would be no sleeping for him that night, and he couldn't take his eyes away from the man lying on the couch in front of him.
"I'm awake, you know?" Keith's voice startled him. Roxton had assumed that the other man was sleeping. Lawrence now sat up in the couch, looking at him straight in the eyes. The man was so unnerving, like he was sure about always having the upper hand. In a way, Keith reminded Roxton of Marguerite herself.
"Good for you." Roxton wanted to forget that the man had ever crashed into the Lost World and his life. He wanted to go to his room, but his legs were not moving.
"Whatever you want to say Roxton, you might as well do it now that we are alone."
"Excuse me?" Roxton could feel all his fury flowing to his brain again "You expect me to cry or something? She's your wife! Big deal! What do I care?"
"Right, you don't care. That's why you left like you did." Roxton was looking for another vase, this guy had obviously missed the lesson there.
"Stay out of this Lawrence."
"I can't. I'm in the middle already."
"In the middle of what?"
"Of unspoken truths. Loving her is hard as hell. I mean, loving her like a man who wants a future with her. I know it, I once did." Roxton felt his heart sink to his feet. All this time, he had hoped that there was no real love between them.
"Luckily for you she's your wife."
"Are you kidding? She wouldn't have married me if she loved me! I told you I wanted a real relationship with her once, but she turned me down, because she cares for me." Keith could see Roxton's dumbfounded expression. Man! He was not getting it at all. Keith couldn't help himself but to grin.
"Something funny?"
"You actually. You really don't understand her thinking, do you? Can't blame you. I told you the truth, about when we met. I was fourteen, she was thirteen. Since then, I was meant to fall hard on the knees for her at least once, don't you think? I did. She didn't want something like that. I've seen her in love Roxton, not with me!" he added, noticing the change in Roxton's face "And she had no idea how to deal with it. I see you both, and she's scared, as much as you are."
"Who said I was scared?"
"You did, by your actions. You want a promise I will stay out of her bed? I won't give you that. I will sleep with her whenever we both feel like it, and we owe you no explanations. Want to know why? Because you have no real claim to her. So you see Roxton, I do. And I don't mean the marriage at all. If Marguerite told me now she wants to be with you, I wouldn't care, I probably would be happy for her. But there's nothing concrete there." With that, Keith lay back again on the couch to catch up in his sleep. Roxton was shocked by his words, but was not about to show it in front of his rival. So, he went to his room. He had no words for Keith, and he had no idea of what to do with Marguerite.
Marguerite rose the last the next day, even though she had not slept at all. She just lay on her bed, and since she was not particularly interested in seeing anyone, she just stayed there. But now, she was sick of the bed and felt like taking a bath.
When she came out of her room, everyone greeted her like nothing had happened. Still, Roxton barely looked her way, and Keith stood up to greet her.
"Finally up! Good to see some things never change." Keith kissed her lightly in the lips. It was an usual gesture between both of them, but she was sure that Roxton would see it the wrong way.
"Hi Keith." She made her way past him and took her place in the table. As she took some fruit, she noticed Veronica hovering around Keith. She knew him all too well, he was trying to get her into his bed. She would have to talk to him. Veronica might not be her closer friend, but she knew she was not ready for that. For once, she was pretty sure Veronica had not done it before. Then, she also knew Keith Lawrence was just playing around, and realized that this could hurt Veronica. Truth be told, the blonde woman seemed quite taken with Lawrence. Marguerite couldn't blame her, he was quite handsome, but he also was a Don Juan. She would have to tell him to step back, later.
Now, Marguerite was concentrating in Roxton. They kept avoiding each other all through breakfast, but she knew they couldn't keep up that game forever. Still, she wasn't sure about whatever move may come next.
"I'm going to take a bath." She announced suddenly. She needed to clear her head.
"You can't go alone." Veronica took Roxton's place in scolding her.
"I'll go with you." Keith offered. She was about to refuse when someone beat her to it.
"No! *I* will go with her." Roxton didn't ask and made it clear there was no way either Marguerite or Keith could refuse. Marguerite was a little unnerved now, what would they talk about? But this showed her that Roxton was ready to clear the air between them.
Marguerite and Roxton had been walking for half an hour now, yet they hadn't said anything. They finally reached the pond and she was about to ask him to turn around when she realized he already had. You're not making this any easier John, she thought to herself. She started undressing slowly and went into the water, more to clean her soul than her body.
John thought it would be easier once they were alone. He would tell her that he loved her and put himself at her mercy. Yet he couldn't. Because a simple thought kept hanging in his mind, She doesn't trust you. And that was a fact, Marguerite trusted Keith more than him. Also, she had known this man since she was thirteen, and Roxton was quite sure there were some things she didn't trust him with either. What were his chances? Maybe this was for the best. Was he ready to commit his life to her? Would she agree? There was too much at risk. He just couldn't bring himself to speak to her truthfully about his feelings. He was sure that she felt something for him as well, but the question was, Does she love me enough? He wasn't sure anymore. Funny thing about determination, it usually lasts less than a day.
She was still at her bath, probably staying in the water as long as she could to avoid talking to him. Her clothes were nearby, he took her blouse in his hands, as if the simple thing could tell him what to do.
"That's harassment in some countries Lord Roxton." He jumped when he noticed Marguerite was standing behind him. He didn't hear her coming out of the water and getting dressed. How much time had passed? Her hair was soaked and all she was missing was her blouse. She just said that to say something, the silence between them was worse than any words could actually be. Roxton just handed Marguerite her blouse.
"Then I guess you can have your husband kick my ass." He didn't even mean that comment. He could see her fake smile falling with that, but he couldn't repress himself. He was hurting.
"At least we are talking now."
"At least." And what now? I apologize? She apologizes? What now Marguerite? Only questions flew through his brain.
"About what he said..." she started slowly, not really sure of how to put it. "It's true."
"Yes."
"Do you love him?"
"Yes and No."
"Gee, that clarifies it all!" he said sarcastically. He felt the rage again, and now it was directed towards her.
"I love him John, is that what you wanted to hear?"
"No!" he said truthfully "That's the last thing I wanted to hear! You know that!"
"I love him John, like a good friend, like someone who has shared some of the most difficult moments of my life. Do I love him like a wife is supposed to love her husband? I don't. Do I sleep with him? I do. Are there any feelings? Not more than with other men before and after him. Tell me when to stop John! Tell me when you've heard enough!" Now she was mad as well. Because she could see the disappointment on his face, and she knew that was all he would ever feel for her, time and again, and she didn't want that for him or for herself.
"Stop it!" he couldn't do that anymore, and she knew it. And that was the reason they would never make it together. That was the reason they were not together in that very moment. They hurt each other too badly, and they didn't know how to simply say I love you, and be done with it. "Why did you marry him?"
"What?"
"I'm asking why did you marry him?" Marguerite couldn't answer that without going into a real explanation of her life. Now that would scare Roxton away, and probably put his life at risk. She couldn't do that to him.
"I can't answer that."
"Why not?"
"Because I just can't." He looked at her. She was containing her tears, as he was. He wasn't strong enough to keep fighting with her anymore. He didn't want to see her cry and he didn't want to cry either. If you love them set them free... wasn't that the expression? Maybe this was for the best. Maybe he could gather his life without her. Maybe he was as much of a coward as she was. He just couldn't bring himself to say the words, as much as she couldn't bring herself to be honest with him anyway.
"Go back to your husband Marguerite." And then he was gone. And she was left standing there, with her heart breaking in a million pieces. She never saw the tears running down his face, and he never saw hers. She put on her blouse and took the gun he left for her before leaving and started her way to the treehouse, a place she could no longer consider a home. How could any place be a home with his haunting eyes?